Okay, another one done! Go me, I suppose! Next is going to be the end! Which is both sad and very good.
I've decided that I want to make a story based off of the wacky text adventures of Lkcsi and I, the strangeness of which is lampshaded by the two seemingly random females (that is us because of course we'd comment on the situations we come up with) that inexplicably pop up everywhere and question everything! Me being the one who asks 'What the fuck?' a lot and Lkcsi being the one to just tell me to shut up and let it happen, because that's effectively what goes on there.
Or I'll make a story that may or may not actually be SK fanfiction. I don't know, it started as the vague idea of Persona 4 with SK characters because I love those type of stories, but then I realized Personas doesn't exactly work there, because I'd have to make new Personas for every character who would get one. And that wouldn't work, especially since I'm in love with the idea that there are 9 different Specter Knights. So now it's this weird... thing that I can't really place, but I'm really starting to like. Maybe I'll give more details in the next chapter if I can come up with anything.
4
"Up, you lazy French idiot!" King Knight yelled to the still sleeping Propeller Knight, lightly kicking him in the side and pulling off the blanket he had somehow managed to acquire.
Propeller Knight grumbled and curled into a small ball, hugging his pillow like it could somehow save him from the abuse.
"Do not make me get the guards," King Knight threatened.
"Alright, alright, I'm up," Propeller Knight muttered unhappily, lazily dragging himself to his feet.
"Yeesh, I never took you as the type to sleep in."
"I'm not. I blame you."
King Knight rolled his eyes. "You're going to blame me when the sun dies out; I'm not really all that wounded by such an insult."
"That wasn't meant to harm you. This, however, is." Propeller Knight proceeded to then kick King Knight's shin, causing him to yelp in a rather undignified manner and drop to the ground, holding onto the affected area.
"I hate you," King Knight snarled.
"I love you too," Propeller Knight muttered sarcastically.
King Knight growled and pushed himself to his feet. "Come, in the dress," he commanded, pointing to the attire that had suddenly appeared in the corner of the room.
"Was that always there?" Propeller Knight asked, not remembering what had happened to the dress after he had finally been freed of it.
"No, I had a servant deliver it here after having it washed because you managed to get it incredibly dirty."
"You're the one who went running for the guards the instant I got mad."
"You are a scary Frenchman when you want to be."
"And you're an easily frightened Englishman. You don't see me complaining."
"You have no reason to complain until I abandon you in the middle of a big fight."
"Of which you would most likely do."
"Shut up."
"Oh, that's true and you know it."
"In the dress!"
"No!"
"So what are you going to do, wander about in your underwear all day?"
"It's less humiliating."
"Gods, aren't you annoying. Come on!"
King Knight forcefully dragged Propeller Knight over to the dress and attempted to force him into the dress. Propeller Knight did not particularly like this, however, and attempted to do the exact opposite. The end result of five minutes or so of this was, rather unsurprisingly, a shouting contest.
"Fuck you!"
"Fuck you with a stick!"
"Fuck you with my scepter!"
"Fuck you with my rapier!"
The guards standing within hearing range looked to each other in confusion.
One approached the other and asked, "Do you know what this is about?"
The man shook his head. "Best not to question it."
"But-"
"Do you want to go in there to find out?"
"No. Ugh, fine."
"Now you're learning."
Shovel Knight hungrily tore into the chicken that had been set in front of him by the local cook.
"You're going to choke," the guard who had helped him out said. "Slow down."
Shovel Knight did so as a question was asked from the cook.
"So, clearly you're in a right pickle. What're you going to do?"
"Get my shovel back," Shovel Knight answered.
"You might want to fix that armor of yours first," the guard suggested.
Shovel Knight glanced at the state of it and said, "It'll hold up. I'm just sad about the horn."
"I feel like your priorities are a little skewed there."
"They're not, trust me."
"Not like I can do much more than that."
"So you're just going to jump into the Lich Yard with no protection?" The cook asked, staring at the adventurer like he was crazy.
Shovel Knight thought for a couple seconds. "Well, no. I'll figure something out."
"I hope you do so quickly if you're really the one who can liberate us of the Enchantress' minions. We're surrounded on all sides by the order. We can't really do anything right now," the guard pointed out.
"Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll just…" Shovel Knight wondered if it was worth it to try. He concluded that it probably was and continued, "I'll use a shield. I mean, my partner managed it, why can't I?"
"But she was a specialized warrior, wasn't she?" The cook questioned.
"That is true, but I can manage it until I get my weapon back."
The cook laughed nervously while the guard muttered, "If you say so," with a roll of the eyes that gave the impression he was immediately giving up hope that Shovel Knight could be victorious against the order.
Enchantress' log: Entry 713178247192375483294isdhaknclkaenrgnaeri:
I shouldn't. But I want to. But I really shouldn't. Why did I seriously write that?
His luck might change with my interference. And I do so want to see it. But I also want to see him and the Hoverhaft duke it out without the assistant there to interrupt. Wait, why don't I just watch the other universe with my magic? And why am I recording my thoughts so thoroughly onto this stupid piece of paper? I keep accidently burning the pages anyway!
Whatever, now I just need to decide which path this universe will take. Hm… why did I seriously just write that a noise? I'm going crazy, I just know it. Seriously, why would I write down an ellipsis?
I need to get away from this journal, fuck.
Whatever, decision made! Not so pleasant dreams upon you, assistant!
"Shouldn't we be moving at a slightly faster pace?" Mona questioned as they strolled down the path.
Plague Knight shrugged uncaringly. "Everything important is in the Potionarium."
"We're still going to have to clean up… and buy new flasks and beakers, and so many other things, though. And it's just going to keep getting worse the longer we're out here."
Plague Knight thought for a second. "That is very much true. But keep in mind you're the one who wanted to walk. Feel the sun and whathaveyou."
"Yes, but I'm over it now. I remember now that the sun is bright and annoying and the wind negates any warmth it gives off."
Plague Knight chuckled. "Hehe, that is true. Fine then, we'll teleport." He reached into his bag and pulled out a teleportation potion set to send the user to the Explodatorium.
Mona stepped forward to be within the blast's radius before suddenly fainting. Plague Knight dropped his potion immediately and jumped forward, successfully catching her before she hit the ground. The potion exploded at their feet, and they appeared at the Explodatorium's entrance not a moment later. Plague Knight completely ignored this in favor of paying attention to his partner.
He stared at her for a moment before asking, "Mona?"
Dammit, where was he?
Specter Knight growled in annoyance. He was attempting to do the mundane task of wandering about who knows where trying to find a Hoverhaft that shouldn't be as difficult to locate as he was being. And he was failing.
"The idiot is loud and obnoxious, how can I not just find him through the mere unfortunate act of having him in my thoughts?!"
Briefly he wondered if it would be worth it to send out some of his ghost minions to help him search before laughing at the thought.
"Then they'd have to track me down," he muttered when he realized the flaw in such a plan.
He sighed. This was going to be a long day.
Shovel Knight stared at the slime in front of him, and then turned his gaze down to the shield he held. He frowned.
"How?" He questioned.
"How should I know?" The guard replied unhelpfully, who by this point had returned to his post, but was still well within earshot of the adventurer.
"You're not helping," Shovel Knight informed him.
"I'm aware."
Shovel Knight rolled his eyes and approached the enemy, staring into its rather innocent looking eyes for a moment before bashing it. It promptly exploded.
Shovel Knight looked at the shield incredulously. "Wow! That usually takes a lot more effort."
The guard was thoroughly unimpressed. "Are you done now?"
"Quite," was Shovel Knight's reply as he wandered his way to the forest.
"The Lich Yard is the other way!" The guard shouted, exasperated. "I just told you that!"
Shovel Knight turned on his heel, marching in the correct direction this time. "Right, I knew that!"
"No you didn't," the guard muttered.
Plague Knight let out a low, pitiful whine as he tried to figure out what to do. Almost as soon as he arrived, everyone and their dog mutation decided it was high-time for him to die, thinking him and the body he tightly held onto were just more intruders.
He had taken care of them quickly enough, but now he was left with the worry of how to move his partner across a lair full of minions that were out to murder them. He wasn't prepared to just leave her, but he also couldn't move her. She was simply too heavy for his scrawny ass arms to handle, as much as he hated the thought.
He let out an annoyed groan and paced about for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Let's give it a go," he muttered, approaching Mona's unconscious form.
Specter Knight paused. Was that screaming he heard?
He glanced over to the Explodatorium, still a solid mile away.
'No, Plague Knight's out, at least, if what Mitzi said is any indication,' Specter Knight thought. 'But nothing else over there could possibly make anyone scream loud enough that I could hear it literally a mile away.' After a moment of thought, he decided, 'Ah, fuck it, might as well.'
With a shrug, the ghost man started floating over to the building in the distance.
'Oh crap,' Plague Knight thought, his eyes growing wide. 'I thought he was further in than this!'
Across from him, the Explodatorium's assailant, that being Propeller Knight's bodyguard, was cutting open any idiot who dared to approach.
'Crap, sneak around, sneak around! This is so much more difficult than it should be!'
Plague Knight wished he could have taken advantage of the fact that the Hoverhaft had his back turned. All of the Plague Minions were running head on with a complete disregard for their lives and it seemed that Albrecht simply was no longer expecting a long ranged back attack. He couldn't use this opportunity, though. It would enrage and slightly wound the man, but not a whole lot else, and just lead to him counterattacking. It was not something he could risk. Not now.
He glanced at Mona. Still not showing any signs of stirring. She was currently slung upon his shoulders in what he imagined was the most uncomfortable way possible. He was able to move her this way, but he got the distinct impression that he was going to get slapped if she woke up to find herself in such a position.
He looked back to the Hoverhaft. Still not looking at him. Time to move.
"Where is he?" Albrecht questioned.
A frightened minion slowly raised a finger. Confused, as he didn't expect his boss to be in plain sight, the German looked behind him to find Plague Knight was attempting to sneak away, having at some point arrived and apparently decided it wasn't worth it. He stopped when he noticed he was being watched.
"Uh…" the alchemist said in response to being caught.
'Not what I meant, but it'll work,' Albrecht thought before demanding as he approached the scientist, "Where is he?"
Plague Knight twitched, as though looking for an escape route. It made sense he would, he was hardly one for direct confrontation, which certainly wasn't helped by the fact that he was attempting, and surprisingly not utterly failing, at carrying a fully grown woman. He was struggling, though, that much seemed obvious, or maybe the shaking and deep breathing was as a result of fear. Albrecht didn't really care either way; he just wanted to find his boss so he could get out.
"W-who are you talking about?" Plague Knight asked in return.
"You know who I'm talking about; I wouldn't burst in here looking for anyone else."
Plague Knight laughed. "Haha, sure. For all I know, you're looking for a pink carnivorous rabbit with the legs of a deer and ears made of porcelain that you've named Billy. I happen to know where one is if you do actually need one, though. Won't be named, of course, but that's a minor detail."
"I have no reason to be looking for such a creature."
"Well, maybe Propeller Knight would want one."
"Maybe he does. I wouldn't know, because he's missing, and I have a sneaking suspicion you are the one to have taken him."
"I'm busy, I don't have any need for Propeller Knight anymore; I've gotten what I needed from him." Plague Knight turned and started to make his way out of the room before pausing mid-step and realizing his mistake.
"What did you take from him?" Albrecht demanded dangerously.
Plague Knight slowly turned his head to stare at his foe. Albrecht could almost smell the sweat running down his face as he tried to get himself out of the situation he had gotten himself into. "T-that's none of your business."
"I think it is." Plague Knight sucked in air to reply, but was cut off. "You are in no condition to fight, alchemist. Your dear passenger will get hurt if you put her down to attack, but you cannot hope to win against me carrying her. Even if you do put her down somewhere safe, you are still in far worse condition than me. It would only take one second of being within range of my weapon, and it will all be over."
Albrecht smirked when he heard the sound of Plague Knight grinding his teeth in frustration.
Shovel Knight carefully stepped into Specter Knight's domain. The border was blatantly obvious, as the lush green grass suddenly became wilted and dead with no real in-between.
A skeleton who had been watching him carefully before suddenly charged head first at the warrior.
Shovel Knight yelped and panicked immediately, rushing to meet the enemy halfway and bashing it over the head. The skeleton fell to the ground and Shovel Knight started repeatedly smashing its skull in to ensure it didn't come back. He let out a sigh of relief and felt quite glad no one had been around to witness that particular display of complete and utter lack of tact.
'Okay, this is not off to a good start,' he thought as he stepped over the remains of the undead creature.
Plague Knight weighed his options carefully. Both were degrading: give up or get beaten up. He'd have to admit his failure to Mona one way or another. He briefly wondered if she would get insulted if he told her he had fought, but got bested because he was trying to juggle a fight and keeping her out of the way.
"Well?" Albrecht questioned after a minute had past.
Growling, Plague Knight asked, "Fine, what do you want to know?" He imagined the Hoverhaft was smirking under that helmet of his.
"First, what did you take from him?"
Plague Knight let out a low sigh as he answered, "His essence."
There was a brief pause before Albrecht responded. "I should kill you for that."
"You don't even know what that is! He should be perfectly fine, maybe with some extra sleep, it'll be fine, don't try to kill me!"
Albrecht cocked his head to the side, either debating on a punishment or wondering how Plague Knight could plead for his life while also sounding incredibly offended.
"Fine. Where is he?"
"I don't know. I doubt he's still there."
Albrecht brought the tip up his halberd up to Plague Knight's throat. "Do you want to die?" Plague Knight begrudgingly shook his head. "Then where was he?"
"Pridemoor Keep."
Both parties stared at each other for a moment before glancing around in confusion. Neither one of them had said that, Mona was still unconscious, and all present minions had been killed.
"Great, another intruder?" Plague Knight questioned. "Just what I need."
"I'm just here for the Hoverhaft," Specter Knight replied as he appeared out of the shadows in an overdramatic fashion. Neither Plague Knight nor Albrecht were particularly impressed by this trick.
"He's in Pridemoor Keep?" Albrecht asked.
Specter Knight nodded. "Yes, he is. I figured it was best to just end the insanity now. Be glad I did."
Albrecht sighed. "Great, that place will far more difficult to bust in than here."
"Are you insulting me?" Plague Knight snarled.
"No, I'm insulting your guards," Albrecht informed him.
Plague Knight shrugged. "Okay, you have every right to make fun of them."
"Why don't you just rush in?" Specter Knight suggested. "Aren't you Germans great at invading places and destroying things?"
"I'm the only German on the crew. The rest are French."
"Well, then teach them how to be a German for the day."
Plague Knight snickered. "Be sure to teach them the accent!"
Albrecht rolled his eyes. "Yes, you people are hilarious." He looked to Specter Knight. "Gather my troops."
"Why should I?" The undead man questioned, crossing his arms.
"Because I am also going to be looking and I would prefer to do this today."
"And you can't wait because what now?"
"Because I said I want to do it today, so we're doing it today! Now go!"
Specter Knight stared at the Hoverhaft for a brief moment before saying "No." He turned and floated away.
Plague Knight snorted, greatly amused by the display.
"I hate you all," Albrecht growled as he took his leave through way of busting down a nearby wall and flying out.
"Well now, fuck you too," Plague Knight said casually as he stared at the wreckage. "Oh fuck me; this is going to be so hard to clean up."
"Shovel! Shovel! Where art thou shovel?" Shovel Knight called out fruitlessly, fully aware his shovel could not answer him.
Didn't stop him from shouting, though.
"I'm sorry, shovel. Please come back!"
A skeleton got annoyed with his yelling and rushed him. Without even giving it a glance, he swung the shield he held at its face. It crumpled immediately, and he continued his calling without missing a beat.
"What are you looking for?"
Shovel Knight jumped, for some reason not expecting to find a sentient being in the Yard.
"My shovel."
There was silence for a moment before, "It's at your feet, dumbass."
Shovel Knight looked down and realized that yes, his bright blue, impossible to miss shovel was indeed at his feet.
Shovel Knight screeched and threw the shield to the side, bonking the skeleton that was attempting to reform on the head and making it collapse again, scooping up his shovel as though it were a lover Specter Knight had captured and held hostage.
"I'm so sorry, shovel; I'll never lose you again!"
"Would you get out of here?"
"Yes." Shovel Knight stood and calmed made his way out the way that he had come.
"Huh, that worked," Mitzi commented as she stared at the back of her master's foe as he happily skipped away, swinging at a seemingly random arc and cutting though a passing skeleton's spine with sufficient ease.
And there we go! While you're here, wanna hear some interesting news? A college student, a motherfucking college student, wanted to buy one of my LoZ stories. Holy shit on a stick! I've decided to just give it to him for free because otherwise that would involve informing my mother I write this type of stuff, and while I love it, I do not want to tell her, as that would be the weirdest conversation. 'Hey mother, some guy wants to pay me for a story I posted on a site I've been writing on for nearly three years not!'
Funny thing is, that was one of those stories that I didn't flesh out at all when I made it, I was just like 'I want to make a thing!' and so I made a thing. Haha. Whatever, if he thinks it's good, I'm not going to dispute it.