A month and a half ago….
We had had this trip to La Push planned for weeks and now the weather was finally reasonable enough for us to go, not that I really planned on going anywhere near the water. I was completely content taking pictures of my friends and the beautiful scenery. It was Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Eric and me in the group; Bella was invited to come, but it wasn't surprising she passed; she was a little anti-social and didn't really like crowds.
It was getting dark and we had compiled enough driftwood to start the fire when a group of locals approached us. I didn't know any of them by name, but some seemed slightly familiar, which didn't mean much considering how close La Push was to Forks. There were nine of them, six boys and three girls. Well I should say men and women, only three of them looked to be in their teens.
Mike went up to them first, he was kind of our unofficial ambassador, mainly because he was so friendly he was hard not to like. He had this charisma to him that made people flock to him, even me in sense, but I actually know how immature he can be so it kind of ruins all romantic prospects I ever had. Jessica is totally obsessed with him and her obviousness was only missed by Mike, the immature idiot.
"Hey, you guy got here just in time. We're about to start the fire" The group had unreadable faces at Mike's overfriendly demeanor.
The largest of the group responded. "You guys are trespassing on our land." He had a very stern look on his face and we all were about to freak out when a smile broke out his face and he started to laugh. His group joined in, and they were all smiling.
His laughter died down enough to speak. "I'm sorry, I couldn't keep that up. I'm Sam." He held out his hand for Mike to shake, which he happily accepted.
"Mike. That's Jessica, Lauren, Eric and Angela. I'd ask for the rest of you guys names, but I'm not sure we'd remember them all."
Sam snorted at this. "Yeah well I'm not sure we'll remember all of yours so I think we're even." Everyone joined in on the laughter after that. Mike then lit the driftwood and everyone watched the colors in awe. It never ceased to amaze me how it was beautiful to see every time. No amount of frequency seemed to dull its beauty. I took a picture for my own personal collection.
After that everything got a whole lot friendlier. The La Push residents invited more people from the area and everyone was enjoying the party that had formed. Someone had brought quite a lot of liquor, so everybody was in an even greater mood. I was uncharacteristically taking part in the drinking, but I was limiting myself. I wanted to be able to get sober by the end of the night.
I saw one of the guys from the group, I think he said his name was Paul, try to hit on Jessica. Under normal circumstances, it should have worked, but Jess was so desperate for Mike's attention that she kind of blocked out any guy who wasn't him.
He stood near me perplexed as to why Jess was paying no mind to him, obviously taking a hit to his ego. "You're not going to get very far with her."
He jumped and looked at me wide eyed for a moment and then a smirk formed on his face. I'm pretty sure that smirk got him in many place, but here wasn't one of them. "Why do you say that?"
"Well, A: I've known her since kindergarten and I know her type and you're not it. And B: She's completely hung up on Mike; the oblivious idiot over there talking to the girl who isn't her. So I know she'll probably spend the rest of night trying to get his focus on her. I imagine you won't get more than an arm squeeze in hopes it'll make him jealous." I didn't know why I was speaking to him; I usually kept quiet around strangers until I could get enough of a read on them and I definitely hadn't had a read on him yet. I guess it was the alcohol.
He looked at me with a perplexed expression that mixed a little with appreciation. "Alright, so she's a bust, what about your blond friend?"
"Lauren? Well if you hadn't already been paying attention, you'd notice she had her eye on your friend over there with the short hair." I pointed to the one in the group who was a little shorter than the rest of them, I think his name was Jared, but I couldn't be sure.
Paul's eyes widened as he realized who I was pointing to. "Jared? He's very obviously taken." He was referring to the girl who was attached at his hip all night, Kim I think.
"Exactly. She has daddy issues of some kind that only allow her to be attracted to taken men. I think she would have gone for your friend Sam, but his girlfriend, Leah?..." He nodded his head slightly to indicate I got her name right. "….seems like she could beat the crap out of her without blinking. So I think she chose to be wise in that front and leave them alone."
Paul looked amused at my complete honesty about my friends. "So I guess that leaves you, what are my chances."
My eyes widened a bit. No one had ever asked about me, curse of being the minister's daughter. Most people assume that my father won't let me out of the house and that I follow all the rules, so no one bothers. They're true to an extent, but it'd be nice for someone to look at with a blank slate. Also in comparison to Jessica and Lauren, I seemed to look ultra conservative, which most guys don't look for. So, yeah, I wasn't really used to male attention, but I went with it anyways, what harm could it do. "Well haven't you heard who I am? Your chances of scoring with me are slimmer than Mike finally noticing Jessica." I taunted.
He smirked at my taunt. "No I haven't heard who you are, should I have?"
"Only if you want to." I smiled at him.
"I do, but I'd like it to come from the source." He gave me a sexy smile that could make any girl melt.
"Well, it's not much of anything, my dad just has job that seems to define anyone associated with him." I heard the resentment in my voice which surprised me. Never before had I had an issue with my dad's job or even what people assumed about me. I really never cared because I knew I was my own person and I didn't need anyone but myself to know that. I needed to get off of that subject so I asked him, "So, what do they say about you? I imagine it's about as accurate as what they say about me."
That made him laugh a little. "Well considering I don't know what they say about you, I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult."
"Well I guess you're going to have to take for what it is or form you own opinion." I'm usually not this flirtatious, but today was an exception for many things. I noticed myself getting subconsciously closer to him. It made me nervous, so I took a discrete sip from my cup to distract myself.
"I think I choose option number two. Take a walk with me?" He gave me the sexiest look and I couldn't help, but go wherever we went.
We ended up in a secluded area far from everyone else. The only thing that could be heard was our voices and the ocean. We were sitting on a piece of driftwood on the sand near where the beach met the forest. I had had a little more to drink at this point and I was talking a little more and faster than normal.
"….I sometimes worry about her, like I'm not being a good friend, but I can't force her to want to do things outside of her of self. You know what I mean." I had started delving into my concerns about Bella and could tell that he was bored. "Sorry, I'm boring you. What would you like to talk about?"
He gave a chuckle before responding. "It's fine. I can tell you care very much about friends, but I'd like to get to know you a little more. You've just spent the last ten minutes talking about your friends. I'd like to know something about you. Tell me something I don't know."
"My dad's a minister and-" He cut me off.
"I said you, not your father. Tell me something about you and you only." He had mischievous look in his eye as he spoke, but I felt I could talk to him nonetheless.
"I want to become a professional photographer someday. I know it's not practical, but who said dreams had to be." I started with something easy, something anybody could discern from looking at me.
"Well that's a start, but I could have guessed that from the camera you had with you earlier ad the thousands of pictures you took." He sounded amused.
"I did not take thousands of pictures, it was more like hundreds." He gave me a look. "Hey, I have to make sure the shots perfect." I shoved his arm lightly and chuckled.
"Alright, I hope you got the perfect shot." He was leaning in close to me making it harder to think.
"So tell me something about you." I tried to distance myself from him, but he leaned in closer in response.
"Not much to tell. I love food, beer and women. Not necessarily in that order." He tone got huskier and his eyes were completely focused on me. Well parts of me.
"I'm sure there has to be more to you. Like what do you want to do when you grow up?"
He looked up from my chest and to my eyes and laughed. "I honestly don't know. Survive, I guess." We were staring into each other's eyes and it was distracting. I wanted to know what could possibly make him feel like his only goal in life should be survival. But that's not what I asked. I could feel his gaze move from my eyes to my lips.
"Well if you could guarantee you'll survive, what would you do then?" His proximity made it so hard to speak that I was whispering.
An uncertain look flickered on his face for a moment and then he went back to giving me this intense look before he kissed me. It was slow and gentle and not anything I would have guessed a guy like him would be like. Then his ministrations started to increase and he grabbed the back of my head and put his fingers through my ponytail. I felt his other hand move along my ribcage underneath my shirt and I let out a sigh of approval. His touch felt nice and I wanted more, so I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer to me. That was all the prompting he need before he removed his hand from my hair and pulled me into his lap so that I was straddling him. I let out a gasp of surprise at our position change. I had never been this intimate with someone, Eric and I had made out a lot while we were going out but never got to the on top of each other phase.
His tongue was delving into my mouth doing things that should be illegal, but it felt so good. I didn't want him to stop, but then he did, only to reattach his mouth to neck. I let out a moan and then grinded down on him which made him let out a tiny noise of appreciation. His hands were creeping up my back underneath my shirt until the met the clasp of my bra. It wasn't until he unhooked it that the reality of the situation hit me. I was about to have sex with a virtual stranger and the good girl inside me was screaming at me to stop, but the other, the one that only gets let out on really special occasions was egging me on. She was telling me to go with what I feel rather than what I think, to not overanalyze every little detail and just enjoy the moment. And so I did. I let him undress me and lay me over his jacket in the sand and take my body.
It hurt at first and it almost made me stop, but along with the pain was this pressure inside me that I really wanted to release and release I did. I think he knew it was my first time even though I didn't offer up that information. He seemed to be struggling not to go faster, not to go harder until I encouraged him and he really got in to action. He spurred on giving me relentless pleasure that I had never felt before and for a moment I thought I loved him, but once we'd both reached our climatic highs and had had time to catch our breathing, I realized I just loved what he did to my body and it scared me.
The sound of him taking off the condom broke me out of my sated bliss and the gross realities of what we just did hit me. I just had sex with a guy I met two hours ago. I dated Eric for three months before we broke up and he didn't even make it past second base. What the hell is wrong with me?
I started redressing myself quickly, but stopped when I realized I was freaking him out. I gave him a small reassuring (as reassuring as I could) smile and continued to put my clothes on at a slower pace. Once we were both readjusted and righted he spoke. "So, do you want to go back to your friends?"
I kind of didn't, despite my mini-freak out earlier I kind of wanted to spend more time with him. Get to know him better so I didn't feel so bad about myself, but I could tell he was itching to get away from me and it hurt. So I just bottled up my feelings and nodded my head and went with him back to the party.
No one really notice that we were gone except maybe his friends. They all had knowing looks on their face, but didn't say or do anything about it, which I appreciated. I spent the rest of the evening with a sulking Jessica. Mike had still yet to notice her and was still chatting up one of the Native girls known as Emily. I didn't mind her complaining as much as usual because it kept my mind off the fact that since we got back Paul hadn't looked at me once. In fact he was trying to speak to Lauren who just kept ignoring him.
When I was home lying in my bed I vowed to myself to forget the events of this evening. It obviously didn't mean much to him, so it shouldn't much to me. I was just going to make sure that the next time I have sex it was going to be with someone I loved and not this debauchery of a night.