A/N: Probably took a bit longer to update that expected, but the chapter's longer than usual(ish). Anyways it probably should be broken up into two chapter's, but who doesn't appreciate a long chapter every once in a while. :) Anyways this one's a little bit more light-hearted than the others, but goes back to its serious premise by the end. And warning it's gets a little fluffy with Bella and Jacob, so if that's not your thing beware. Enjoy :)

I get up early the next day for Bella to come pick me up. Apparently what they had planned for today was an all-day event. My sleep patterns hadn't improved at all since last week and getting up early for a day full of plans I didn't even know what were was almost not worth it. But then I remember that after today I would know how to get in touch with Paul and I forced myself out of my bed. On the bright side, I'd be gone before either of the twins woke up so I would have to deal with their antics.

I encounter my mother in the kitchen when I go to grab a quick piece of toast. She looks surprised to see me up so early as I usually sleep in until we have to go to my dad's 11:00 sermon. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Remember I said I was going to La Push to meet Bella's friend Jacob."

"Yes I remember, but I don't remember you telling me you'd be missing church." Her tone is a little vexing and it hit that nerve that told me I was a teenager.

"Well I am." I said a little annoyed, but the look on my mother's face told me I wouldn't be going anywhere for a while if I kept my tone, so I calmed myself down a little bit. "It's just one Sunday out of like million more that I'll be there for. Why can't I miss just this once?" I pleaded.

Mother looked at me as though she were weighing all the options. "Fine, but just don't make this a common occurrence."

I squealed in delight. "Thank you mom, I promise." Just then a honk was heard from outside. "That's her." I say and then I grab my jacket and leave.

When I get to the truck Bella looks just about as sleep deprived as I do. "Not a morning person either." I say with a chuckle.

Bella lets out a grumble and says, "definitely not, the only reason I'm up this early is because Jake wanted to get an early start."

I let out a grumble as well. "What could he possibly have planned in Port Angeles that involves being up this early?"

"I don't know, but whatever it is it better be worth it." I nod my head in agreement.

The drive is pretty quiet for a little while until Bella decides to break the silence. "So have you decided what you're gonna do?" She speaks timidly knowing how loaded that question is.

In all honesty I still didn't know. While the prospect of staying pregnant still didn't appeal to me neither did terminating it. Adoption seemed like my best bet, but I'm not sure I would be strong enough to go through with it. Keeping it seemed to be the default option, but I don't like the idea of that. Keeping a child because it's only thing you know to do. My baby deserves better than that which leaves me at a standstill. "I still need more time to decide."

Bella nodded in acknowledgement. After a pregnant pause she spoke. "You know time's gonna run soon right?" she bit her lip.

"I know, but it's not yet so, I'm going to use as much of it as I can afford." I said stoically.

"Just…just don't do anything you'll regret." She said this solemnly probably thinking of her own mother.

"I promise."

"Good."

The rest of the journey was short and quiet and before I knew it we were pulling up to an unfamiliar red house at the end of a dirt road. There was a tall Native American boy with long hair waiting by the shed with a smile so contagious you couldn't help, but grin back. The moment Bella put the truck in park he sprang from the shed door and ran over to the driver side. Bella had barely gotten her seatbelt off when he threw the door open and pulled her into a hug that lifted her off the ground. Never have I seen so much enthusiasm especially at seven o'clock in the morning.

"It's about time you got here." He said as he gently put her down.

"Well I to pick up Angela." She gestured her hand towards me who was still sitting in the car.

He walked over to the driver's side again to peer in at me. "Hey, I'm Jacob." With a smile on his face; he held out his hand for me to shake.

I took it and chuckled. "I guessed that. I'm Angela."

He shook my hand heartily and said, "Guessed that too." He then pulled himself back and turned to Bella and said, "shall we" and gestured toward the shed. I got out of the truck and followed them to the entrance. He pulled open the barn door that opened the entire shed and in was revealed a red 1986 VW Rabbit. It didn't look like anything special, but the fact that he restored this all by himself was impressive. "Ta Da…"

Bella broke out the biggest grin I'd ever seen on her face and looked over at him. "I can't believe it's finished. I'm mean just a month ago it was just a pile scrap metal." She walked over to the car and ran her hand across the exterior.

"I know, I'm awesome." He said in a playful tone and chucked.

"No you are awesome. I can't even hang a picture on a wall without something going majorly wrong, you built an entire car." She said this with so much conviction that Jacob's cheeks reddened.

"Yeah well two months of working on nothing, but this was bound to pay off." He was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and he seemed really uncomfortable with her praise.

"This is really impressive Jacob I can't imagine how much work went into this. I can't believe it only took you two months." I chimed in because I was truly amazed.

He laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah well my entire social life kind of got put on hold for it, so that gave me a lot of free time."

"Not your entire social life." Bella said a little haughtily.

"Well a good portion of it did."

Just then a tall lanky boy with hair slightly shorter than Jacob's appeared from the woods. He ran over to the shed and fist bumped Jacob before taking in the sight of the finished car. "Awesome dude." He walked over to the car appraising it in more detail than Bella or I would have even thought to. "It seems being dateless for two months paid off."

Jacob rolled his eyes and didn't even give the unknown boy the satisfaction of a response. "Where's Quil?"

The newcomer gave Jacob a mischievous smirk. "Grounded. Got caught sneaking out again. This time to spy on her at Second Beach."

Jacob burst into laughter. "He really needs to stop stalking Leah before she calls the cops or worse, Sam." Both of them were laughing.

My ears perked up at the names Leah and Sam. I remembered them from the bon fire almost two months ago. Lauren spent the entire time trying to break them up. I wanted to ask about them in hopes to bring up Paul, but I didn't have a nonchalant way of doing it especially since I had yet to be introduced to this new boy.

"I just can just imagine him getting his ass beat." The new guy said still laughing.

"And that still wouldn't stop him." Jake said holding his ribs.

I could see a faint smile on Bella's face observing their antics. I too was compelled to smile despite not knowing who Quil was or the boy in front of me. They reminded me of Mike and Eric, always joking around and always able to get people to smile.

Their laughter died down and that's when the lanky boy noticed me. "Who's she?" he said eying me up and down with a smile on his face.

"That's my friend Angela and don't hit on her." Bella answered in a stern tone.

He held his hand up in surrender. "Hey I wasn't going to hit on her." Bella give him a really look while Jacob just snorts in laughter. "Yet." His mischievous smile comes back and now it's directed at me. "I'm Embry by the way. Have I seen you around? You look familiar." I could hear in his tone of voice that he was turning the charm all the way up. Luckily for me my condition gave me immunity to it, so I was safe as far as he was concerned.

"Well Embry we do live two very small towns close to each other it's possible we've met before. It obviously wasn't memorable, but I'm willing to overlook that." Sarcasm is dripping in my voice, but he seems to not be catching that.

"Wait no, you actually look really familiar." He says with an air of recognition. He seems to be searching his mind intently as he tries to place me. I have no idea where or when he would have seen me because I have no recollection of him. "Have you been to any bonfires at First Beach?"

"Yes…like a couple of months ago." I speak slowly curious where he's going with this.

"Yeah you were with those Fork kids. Man that was a crazy weekend. I don't even remember how I got home." He chuckled at his thought.

"I guess it was crazy. I mostly spent it with my friend sulking because the guy she liked was hitting on someone else." It's technically the truth and hopefully he won't remember me talking with Paul.

"The blond right?" I nodded my head in confirmation. "I think I talked to her for like three seconds before I realized she wasn't paying attention to a word I was saying. She just kept staring at this dude talking to Emily."

"Yep, sounds like Jess. I mean at least you got three seconds in." I tell him sarcastically.

"Yeah I'll cherish them forever." He says while overdramatically clutching his chest in fake heartbreak.

Jake then cuts in by clearing his throat loudly. "Alright, as much fun as it is watching Embry strike out, we need to get a move on it if we want to make it to Portland by noon."

"Portland?" Bella and I both say simultaneously.

"I thought we were going to Port Angeles." Bella says voicing my confusion.

"Damn it" he whispered to himself and then smiled guiltily at Bella. "Yeah I wasn't actually going to tell you until we were in the car, but surprise, we're going to Portland."

Bella was taken aback. "What, you were just going to take me to another state and not tell me? Why on earth would you do that?" Her voice was raised, though not quite yelling, but louder than I'd ever heard he speak before.

"Well I have a surprise for you down there and I knew you wouldn't just come with me without telling you where we were going first."

"Well why didn't you just tell me we were going to Portland?"

"Because you would have said no."

"Well of course I would, it's four and a half hours away."

"Exactly, which is why I said Port Angeles."

Bella let out a menacing growl and glared at Jacob as she opened the passenger side door. "Shotgun." Was all she said before she got in.

The rest of us filed to the tiny car both Embry and I getting in through driver side door. When Jake turned the ignition it started with a resounding roar and Jake's face lit up with large smile. He then turned that smile towards Bella who was defenseless against it. His happiness was contagious and it spread all around the car until all of the tension dissipated.

The ride there was pretty uneventful. Bella and Jake talked idly while Embry chimed in his opinions a few times. I mostly stayed quiet observing them together. I don't know what she brought out in him, but he definitely brought out her personality. I had never seen her more lively. The more they spoke together, the more I realized why she spent all her time with him. All was going well until my condition decided to make itself known via morning sickness. I hadn't had to many experiences with it before, it was mostly just an aversion to certain smells, but the moment felt bile start to rise in my stomach I immediately made them stop the car. I threw up on the side of the road and everybody but Bella looked at me in horror. Luckily I was able to pass it off as car sickness, Jake kept the windows rolled down and eyed me intently for the rest of the ride, probably to save his car. We also made two reluctant rest stops on account of my bladder. I was not a popular passenger.

When we finally arrived in Portland Jacob took us to Oaks Amusement Park. It was a pretty small and was mostly filled with children, but it had its charm.

"Welcome to the place where all fun begins."

Jake looked so excited when he presented it to us we couldn't help but join in on the excitement. The only one who wasn't enthused was Embry, who I'm guessing knew this entire time that this is where were going.

"Dude, this place is for little kids."

"Exactly. It's time to embrace our inner child Embry and what better place to do than here."

I couldn't help but agree with him since this could be one of the last times I get to have fun with the wonderment of a child. Bella looked skeptical at first too, but one look at Jake's goofy smile had her convinced. Embry seemed impassive, but what could he do? He had been outnumbered.

When we entered the park Looping Thunder was the first ride the boys headed to. It was a roller coaster that was pretty small, but still got the job done. I, of course, opted out of going on the ride paying attention to the warning signs given by the park. I used the excuse that I was still a little sick, which wasn't completely untrue, to get out of it. They accepted my excuse gladly remembering my performance on the interstate.

They tried to get me on other rides such as the Tilt-a-Whirl, Tree-Top Drop and Screaming Eagle, but they jerked around too much for my liking in my condition. I didn't know why was being so protective, I mean I hadn't made any concrete decisions. I should be opting to go on the rides because wrong twirl or jerk and all my problems would go away free of cost, but not free of my conscience.

The boys were in line for Looping Thunder for the third time when Bella and I decided to ride the Carousal together. It was the first time since her car that we really got to talk alone. She was sitting on the zebra backwards facing me when she put her feet up and leaned against the pole to relax. "So how are you doing? I mean you haven't ridden many rides."

"You I'm sorry I must be a bit of a downer, but I just can't bring myself to risk it. I mean nothing will probably hurt the baby at this stage, but every time I think about getting on a ride I keep imagining losing it and me not being as happy as I should be about that. What do you think that means?" I ask uncertainly.

Bella let out a thoughtful sigh. "I think it means…you've made your decision." She said with insight that I didn't quite understand.

"Trust me; I haven't made any decisions yet." I said brushing off her statement.

"If think about it more you'll realize you have." Is the last thing she says before she turns back on the zebra correctly for the rest of the ride. The boys meet us at the exit with their hair severely wind-blown.

"Did you ladies have fun?" Embry says with mockery in his voice.

"Lots." Bell answers back obstinately.

"Yes Bella we had lots of fun on the Carousal. Why do you ask Embry?" I join in.

Realizing he's outnumbered once again, he gives up. "No reason, just curious. Weren't we Jake?"

"I'm staying out of this."

"Smart boy." Bella praises.

"Well mama didn't raise no fool." He retorts back making us all laugh. "So between us we've got enough tickets for three last rides, what do we wanna ride?"

"Chelsea Littlesea from third period." Embry answers unceremoniously and Jake hits him on the back of the head while he just simply laughs at his own joke.

"Anybody have real suggestions that don't involve going back to La Push."

"Let's go on the Rock-o-Plane. Angela can even ride that." Bella chimes in.

I look over at the caged Ferris wheel skeptically. "I don't know Bella, It's spins, a lot."

"Come on Angela it's just a Ferris wheel. It shouldn't be that upsetting to your stomach." Bella eyes me. "I'll even ride with Embry, so you won't get unnecessarily spun in the cage." Embry's about to deny her last statement, but one look from Bella told him she was probably right.

"So it's settled, you ride with Embry while I ride with Angela." Jake claps his hands together and we head towards the ride.

I didn't understand why Bella just didn't ride with me and it wasn't until we were almost at the end of the line that I got my answer. "So you and Jake will be alone." She whispers to me.

"And?" I whisper back confused by her statement.

"And, you can talk to him about anything. Ask anything..." she trails off on her last statement and I'm about to ask her what she's talking about when I realize what she means. The entire reason I'm here today.

I feel like face palming, but I know that'll be too conspicuous. I perk up a bit at the prospect, but I'm still extremely nervous on how to bring up Paul without telling him everything.

We get on the ride Jacob and I getting on first. When the operator closes the bar across our waists and shuts the cage door I get second thoughts about the ride. Though I'm grateful for the opportunity to ask my questions, the bar is a little too tight. I mean it's not right up against me, but one wrong move and it will be. I'm about to voice my concerns when the ride starts moving. Too late now I guess.

I look over at Jacob and he has nothing but a goofy smile on his face. "You like Ferris wheels?" His attention shifts from the looking out of the cage to me.

He actually gives this a little thought. "I guess. I mean they're exactly the same no matter where you go. I like these ones a bit more because you can hang upside down in them." He proceeds to demonstrate when I grab his arm tightly.

"Please don't!" I yell.

"I won't. I wouldn't do that to you, or me. I don't really feel like having chunks all over me." He adds with a chuckle.

"Thank you. If all goes well we both won't have chunks all over us by the end."

"Here, here."

The wheel starts to make its second rotation when I finally, with no tact, ask him. "So, do you know Paul Lahote?"

Jacob is clearly taken aback by my question and looks at me like I have an extra head sprouting out. "Umm…know is a generous way to describe it, but yeah I know him. Kinda hard not to, bein' on the rez and all. Why do you ask?"

"I kinda need to find him." I stumble with my words, but Jacob understands me.

"Why would you need to find Paul Lahote?" He asks skeptically.

I let out a frustrated sigh. "I just do."

"Well you're not the type of girl that usually comes looking for him."

"Well what type of girl is that?" I don't know why I'm getting defensive. I know what kind of girls come look for him and I know I definitely don't fit the profile. But I didn't like that he was make assumptions about me or Paul for that matter.

"The kind that are definitely not you." He says with a degree of arrogance.

I'm about to tell just what kind of girl I am when the ride suddenly stops jerking us both forward and pushing the metal bar into my abdomen harshly. My attention immediately shifts from our conversation to the well-being of my baby. I cradle my stomach rubbing it gently as though that would actually do something. Tears are starting to form in my eyes as I try to assess the damage. I lift up my shirt and see that there are no marks or bruising and my underwear feels dry which means there's no bleeding. As I start to calm myself I realize that I'm not alone and that Jacob has just seen my little freak out.

He's looking at me with pity in his eyes as he pieces everything together. "The bar hit a little hard." I try to explain it as concern for myself, but it's already too late. We ride the rest of the way down in silence. When we get out I immediately cling on to Bella citing the bathroom as an excuse, not wanting to see the perceptive look on Jacob's face.

"How did it go?" Bella asks when we're a safe distance from the boys.

"Not well, I think he knows." I tell her slightly panicked.

"What? How?"

I then relay to her my little freak out on Ferris wheel. "Do you think he told Embry?" I ask panicking even more.

"No, Jake's not like that. I can guarantee you that he won't tell anyone, even after you've told everyone."

"Are you sure?"

"Very. His inherent ability to not gossip is one of the many reasons I keep him around."

I had to laugh at that because that was a rare quality amongst our group of friends. "And here I thought he was just something pretty for you look at."

"Well there's that too, but don't tell him. It'll go to his head." We laugh together at her joke just before heading back to the boys. Though I've calmed down considerably, I'm still a little jittery when I see Jake. He's the first person outside of Bella and a doctor to know about my condition and that's nerve racking. At least with them I have control over the situation, with him it's a complete leap of faith. Though Bella has assured me that he's trustworthy, I barely know him, so I can't judge that for myself completely which is what's disconcerting. You barely knew Paul and you let him inside your body. My evil side points out and I couldn't dispute it, but there was just something easier about having sex with somebody than trusting them.

When we get back Jake seems just as eager as me to move on from our Ferris wheel moment. He claps his hands together and says, "What's next?"

"Let's get on the roller coaster again. I mean Angela has yet to experience the awesomeness that is that ride." Embry chimes in with his boyish charm.

"And Angela will continue to miss out on that awesomeness because no way." I tell him pointedly.

"Come on, what are you, scared? It's not even that fast."

"If it's not that fast, why do you want to go on it so bad?"

"Because it's the fastest thing here. Come on, just go on it once."

"No and that's my final answer."

"I'm gonna keep bugging you until you do, so you might as well just save yourself the trouble and give in."

"Is that your pick up line for girls because I think it needs work. It's a little rapey."

"Ha ha, no. Just get on the ride with us."

"NO."

"Come on." He stretched his voice out in a childish whine.

"Embry, just drop it. Let her do what she wants." Jacob chimed in my defense.

"Where would the fun be in that? Come on, we have to get the scaredy cat on the roller coaster at least once."

"No we don't. Just let it go." Embry was about retort again, but Jake grabbed his arm forcefully causing him to call out in pain. "Let it go."

"Fine, I will, no need to get violent." He said rubbing his arm.

"How about you guys go on the roller coaster, we'll go on the train and we'll meet at the bumper cars for the grand finale and then leave. Sound great to everyone." We all nodded our heads as Bella looked around at us.

And we did just that, for the most part. Before leaving we played a few of the games. Only Jake actually won something though which he immediately passed onto Bella. We ate a Denny's passing easy conversation. Bella so far seemed right, Jake let what had happened in the Ferris Wheel pass and he went back to his good natured self. We left for home at about five o'clock and the ride back was just as uneventful as the way there. We were mostly tired so the majority of us, except Jacob of course, slept and when I need us to use the restroom no one but Embry protested. Of course that was until the five cokes he drank before we left decided to make a reappearance.

When we made it back to Jake's old garage at almost ten o'clock we were all exhausted. Embry immediately walked home when he exited the car and Jake and Bella seemed to be having a long goodbye. It wasn't until Bella went to her truck without me that I realized what it was about. "Hey Angela, can talk to you for a moment?" Jake asked as I was about to follow Bella out. She just gave me smile as she left.

"Sure?"

"So…we didn't really get to finish our conversation earlier." He laughed nervously.

"Yeah, sorry I freaked out there for a moment." I felt so small.

"It's fine, understandable even. Well anyway… I can help you find Paul."

My head picked up a little at that. "You can?"

"Yes." He says confidently before searching through his glove box for something. When he comes up out of the car he's holding a notepad and pen and is writing something down. He tears off the paper on the notepad and hands it to me. "He lives at this address off of Hermison Road. It's farther down the street and kinda the only cabin for miles, but if you can't find him there you should be able to find him at Sam Uley's. He's his best friend. That's the second address on the paper. Look…don't expect much from him. He's not known for his reliability." He adds with a somber tone.

"I know, I was there, but I have to at least tell him." I look up at him with a grateful smile on my face. "Thank you, Jake, seriously you have no idea how much you've just helped me."

"Don't mention it, really." I wave goodbye to him before getting into Bella's truck.

"Get all you need?" She turns the key in the ignition.

"Yes. I got everything I need."

It's takes two weeks before I do anything about it. I've been kind of biding my time before really doing anything. It's not until my morning sickness starts to take over my life and thus my parents are starting to notice that everything's not alright with me that I realized that I needed to do something. I hadn't even made an appointment with the OBGYN and I was less than a month away from exiting my first trimester.

Bella was right, I had made my decision. I just needed to think about it more. I was way too protective of the baby to abort it and I know for a fact I couldn't just give my baby away. It wasn't completely out of my plans, but I knew I'd be unlikely. That's why I started looking things up about pregnancy. If I wasn't going to the doctor's I could at least educate myself in what not to do before I could get to one. So far, not much has changed, but my need to drink decaf and weird cravings. The other day I was helping my mom make dinner and I wanted to eat the steak raw. I obviously didn't, but I was so close to stealing the entire thing and taking it to my room to devour. This was something that didn't escape the notice of my parents and thus why I' here at an unfamiliar cabin in unfamiliar woods.

I've been standing here for about ten minutes trying to muster up the courage to knock. I heard noises inside, so I know at least one person is home, but if my ears are correct there are two people in there, one of them female. Maybe his mother's home which would make this even more awkward than it already is, but I'm here and this can't wait any longer.

I knock on the door haphazardly with no particular pattern. Just enough so that someone will notice before my nerve runs out. A tan young woman with long dark hair wearing only an oversized flannel shirt and too much make-up smeared across her face answers the door. This was definitely not his mother. When she's sees me, there's contempt in her eyes. "Can we help you?" she says in a harsh tone that tells me I am not welcome, but unfortunate for her I'm not deterred by bitchiness.

My face is turning red in embarrassment, but I swallow my nervousness down and speak. "Yeah, is Paul home?"

"Who's asking?" her tone is vexing. It doesn't escape my notice that she's wearing too much perfume, cheap perfume at that. It's overwhelming, so I have to take a step back from her just so I won't blow chunks on this nameless woman. She takes this as a sign of intimidation.

I'm slightly fed up with this woman already; she not only is making me want to throw up, but also is preventing me from my goal. I want to tell him before I told my parents because when I finally tell them I want all the facts and so far he's my only undecided wild card. "Are you his gate keeper or something? It doesn't matter who I am, what matters is I'm here for Paul, so why don't you I asked you to do and answer my question."

She was taken aback and for a moment I thought I'd gone too far, but she recovered quickly. "Excuse me rich little white girl, who the fuck do you think you are demanding things?! You better get off my porch before I make you!"

I let out a deep breath. "No." I stood my ground.

"What'd you say?!"

"NO!" I stomped my foot this time as though I were a child. "I'm not leaving until I talk to Paul."

Suddenly she grabs my arm and starts to drag me across the porch. Nausea almost overtakes me, but before she can pull met far Paul comes out of the house and stops her. "What have I told you about answering my door Kate!?" His tone was stern and held no affection.

"Well you were indisposed at the moment, so I thought I'd do you a favor." She looked like a child caught doing something they shouldn't, but her voice still stayed strong. I just stood in the corner watching their interaction.

"I think it's time for you to leave." He says lowly.

"In this?" She points down to her state of undress.

"Well that's definitely more than what you came in, so why not?" He then pushes her off the porch and onto the dirt.

She quickly gains balance and glares at him. "You're an asshole, Paul!" is all she says before walks angrily down the road barefoot.

"And yet you'll still come back!" He yells at her.

"Fuck you!" she yells flipping him off before continuing on her path.

When she turns off into an opening into the woods he turns to me and his face softens a little. "Sorry about her. Sometimes I think she was raised by wolves." He laughs at his own joke, but quickly stops when he realizes I'm not joining in. "So what are you doing here? Actually, how did you even find me?"

"Ah…a friend of a friend, it really doesn't matter." I stumble on my words a bit, thinking about how I found him. It was boarder line stalking, but necessary. "Can we go inside? I have something I really need to tell you?" I pull my hair behind my ear to distract myself, but it only unnerves me more as my face becomes more exposed."

He just nods his head and ushers me in. He smells like her and I have to walk in quickly to get away from it. When I'm all the way in I see his house is a mess, trash all around, unwashed dishes in the kitchen and clothes all over the place. I see some clothing items that most indefinitely didn't belong to him. They must be Kate's which pretty much confirms what I already knew the moment she answered the door. The scent of her perfume lingers faintly reacting badly with my oversensitive senses. It's not strong enough to make me throw up, but it gives me a headache.

Paul clears his throat bringing my attention back to him. "Sorry, maid didn't come this month." Despite myself I smile at his lame attempt at a joke. I look at him, really look at him this time and realize he's really attractive. My memories did not do him justice. I find myself lusting after him again slightly, but then he moves closer to me bring her scent along with it. "So…you wanted to tell me something?"

He brings me back to my goal. Now I had practiced this in the mirror before I got here, but none of that prepared me for anything. I start to pace once again, not knowing how to start. "Okay, so…well you remember two months ago. At least I hope you do…that's not a good way start, let me start over…Uh…two months ago we…had sex which you already know." I start to hyperventilate, but make myself stop because now is not the time. I stop dead in my tracks and stare at him. A look of confusion has taken over his features as he tries to figure out what I' going on about. "I'm pregnant." I whisper so low that I almost think he missed it, but then the confusion disappears and is replaced with surprise.

After a long silence, "Is it mine?" are the first words out of his mouth and I can't help the irritation that bubbles up in me.

"No, I tracked you down, came all the way from Forks to this middle of the woods cabin just so I could tell you I'm pregnant with another man's child. Sound logical to you?" I say in a clipped tone.

His dumbfounded look quickly shifts to anger. "Hey! Don't get snippy with me! Given the circumstance of how we met it's a logical question. Besides, how are you even sure it's mine? I wrap my shit every time."

"Well I hate to ruin whatever image you had of me, but I was a virgin that night. So how am I sure? Well there was only the one to choose from, so it was either you or God. I went with the more plausible one. And you know condoms aren't a hundred percent effective, i.e" I motion down to my abdomen.

"How do I know you're not lying!?" He accuses.

"Because you have so much to offer!" I yell back sarcastically. If I didn't have to I would never choose to talk with him again.

"Don't talk to me like that!" he shouts as charges toward me. He pins me between his arms with the counter that separates the kitchen from the living room behind me. "Apologize." He commands, but I can't listen. The only thing my mind can register is that bile is starting to rise in my stomach. "I said apologize." He commands once more, but I'm trying to move my nose as far away from the smell as possible.

"I suggest you move." My voice is faltering from the nausea, but I'm dead serious. I try to push him away from me, but his hold is solid. "Unless you want me to throw up on you I suggest you move." I try once more, hoping he sees reason this time.

He looks down at me curiously which I don't have time for. I push against him again and shout "MOVE!" This time he lets me go seeing the placement of my hand on my mouth. I go to the closest thing near me which is the sink full of dishes and vomit all over them and it splatters everywhere. I wished it'd ended there, but my stomach suddenly decided to empty everything in it once it got a good whiff of the smell emitting from sink. By the time I was done I was completely exhausted.

Paul is standing in the living room as far away from me as possible. I could see his disgusted expression even through my tear blurred eyes. I know I probably should be irritated that he didn't come to help me, but I was thankful. The farther he stayed away from with his perfume stench the better.

"What was that?" He sounds a little astonished, but I can hear the underlying rage beneath. I can't blame him, I just made a mess I can't clean up unless he wants me to make it worse.

Taking a necessary breath I answer him. "Your perfume or Kate's perfume...I don't really care who's perfume just that it stays far far away from me." My voice is raspy from the acid in my throat. All I really want to do is curl up in my bed and sleep, but I know we're far from done here. "Look I'm sorry for the mess, but somethings are out of my control." I almost cry, but I hold my tears in. Paul does not look like some equipped to handle crying women.

"Yeah well somethings are, why don't you just get rid of it?" It's not an unreasonable question, but the way he says it strikes a nerve. Why don't I get rid of it? As though that's the answer to all our problems. It probably is the answer to his, he has the luxury of not living with it twenty four, seven.

"Because I don't want to." I say with conviction.

"Everything can't be about what you want. Trust me; there are far worse things for that kid than never being born." He says arrogantly.

I know he's right, but this baby's not going to experience any of those things if I have any say in it. "The opposite argument is true too. There are better things for this kid than never being born and I'm gonna make sure of that." I tell him not faltering one bit. "Look, I came here just to tell you that I' pregnant and keeping it and you're free to do whatever the hell you want." I say that last part with a bite and walk out of the cabin to my car.

He's right on my heels shouting. "You can't just leave!"

"Oh yeah? Watch me." I open the driver's side door.

"Don't expect me come lookin' for ya! And don't come lookin' for me either because I'm not gonna pay child support or nothing!" He's right in front of me with his nostrils flared.

"Well no one asked you. I just thought you should know that you had a child in the world, probably not your first." I add that last part as an unnecessary insult before getting in the car and driving away.

I can't help the tears the come out of my eyes on my way home. My baby has no father and it's my fault for picking him. My first job as a mother and I already failed. I had sex with the wrong person and now my child is paying for it. But it's better this way. At least it won't know him, get attached and then severely hurt. There will still be pain, but at least it won't as much.

When I get home I rush to my room not even acknowledging my family. I lock my bedroom door, put on my pajamas and cry myself to sleep. I didn't really imagine telling him going well ever, but I definitely didn't image this. That was all I could think of as I drifted off.

A/N: If you're surprised that Paul's an asshole then you don't know the character all that well. I don't know when my next update will be, but I can tell you that it'll be from Paul's perspective. Until next time...