Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. JK Rowling and company own them. I merely play with them for my own amusement. Please don't sue. I have nothing of value anyway.

Summary: Harry is caught in a love triangle to rival all else. He's found himself questioning his sexuality and is owning up to his attraction to Draco Malfoy. Meanwhile Draco is cozying up to Hermione, who won't give him the time of day. And Hermione keeps thinking there's hope for her and Harry to have a future together. It's a tangled web of emotions and will anyone get what they want? Set a couple of years after Hogwarts ended. Told from Harry's POV. Drarry. With talk of Harmony and Dramione.

Three is a Crowd

The next couple of days were boring for me. Draco didn't come around because it was the weekend. I suppose he had better things to do than to hang out with the girl he worked with and her lame sidekick with no social life (which would be me). Hermione didn't miss Draco at all and spent her time cleaning the house and making me play wizard board games and watching the telly with her. It was kind of like we were married, except no sex. So it was exactly like we were an old married couple who had graduated beyond the sex and now everything was chess and the telly. I think both of us kind of envisioned this living arrangement lasting forever, except I knew she did eventually want to get married to a real guy. Not me. Or rather maybe me, but that wasn't going to happen. I'd never do that to her when I knew deep down my longings lie elsewhere and I couldn't give her what she deserved. And that was a good dicking. At least that's what Draco told me when I saw him again next. He said that's what she needed and that I should just man up and do it because maybe then I'd see I wasn't really gay. Like sex with Hermione would someone cure me. He doesn't get it. But he also told me if I didn't do it, he was gonna find a way to do it himself. He said Hermione's dull housewife life was sad beyond measure and he wanted to fix it. I didn't much like the things he was saying but I was relieved to have him at our house again. He was sitting in the kitchen right now while Hermione organized papers in the living room.

"I'm telling you Potter, just bend her over a table and give it to her good. Then you'll both feel better," Draco instructed me.

"Will you shut up? I'm not doing that. Our friendship is more complex than that. I can't just give her a good 'dicking'. Is that even a word?" I wondered idly.

"Sure it is. And sure you can. If I were you, I would," he told me.

"There's actually someone else I'm sort of interested in," I stammered out nervously, not wanting to tell him the truth, but feeling the need to get him off the subject of Hermione.

"Really? Who? A girl? Or a dude?" he prodded me.

"It's a guy. And when I'm with him, I get all tongue tied and my stomach does flip flops," I explained the way he made me feel.

"Well then go for it!" he encouraged me.

"I can't. I-I don't think he's that way. I'm pretty sure his door only swings one way towards women," I admitted.

"Then that's no good. But are you sure? Sometimes it's tricky to tell. A lot of guys hide it well. Sometimes the truest test is the guy talking all kinds of game about girls. He over compensates because of his lack of heteronormativity," Draco explained.

"Heteronormativity? That's a big word. Is it on your word of the day calendar?" I joked with him.

He stuck his tongue out at me.

"It's a real word. And I just mean, some guys who are ultra-stuck on traditional roles are actually the ones who are gay. It's a fact."

"So then how would I ever know? I don't think I was born with this Gaydar thing everyone talks about."

"Tell me who the guy is and I'll give you my opinion," Draco offered.

I stood up and began pacing.

"No. No way. He remains nameless. Besides I think he's just straight and not over compensating."

"Does he talk about his cock a lot?"

"What? No!"

"I was gonna say that's another sign he's closeted. If he boasts how amazing it is to other men he's trying to get them interested."

"Where are you even getting this information from? I think you're full of shit," I challenged him.

"I'm not full of shit! I've seen this on the telly," he announced.

"The telly? That's where your information comes from? It's all bullshit. You're sort of useless as a wingman, Malfoy," I said with defeat at realizing Draco was just talking out his ass and didn't really know anything.

"Suit yourself. Now where is that Hermione? God I wanna fuck her. I bet she'd be all over me if she knew how big I was and how many satisfied customers I've had…" he said dreamily.

I just sat there and stared at him. He was basically doing the exact thing he told me to look out for. Was this a sign? Was this his way of telling me the truth? I was even more confused than ever before. But I didn't have time to ponder it more when Hermione interrupted us.

"Harry, you gotta stop feeding this guy's delusions that you're friends. We're never going to get any work done if he's always in here talking to you," she announced.

"He is my friend," I told her softly.

"Yeah, we're right mates. Water under the bridge and all that. Harry's the best," Draco said with a laugh, laying it on thick.

"Shut up. You know you like me," I stuck out my tongue at him.

"Be careful who you stick your tongue out at because someone might bite it off," Draco teased as he tried to poke me in the side again, but I moved away.

Hermione sighed loudly.

"Hello? Still in the room. And we have a deadline Draco. At least let's finish up the current case file and then you and Harry can make out or whatever it is you're planning to do," she joked and shoved Draco over.

"Fine, fine. Work, work, work. I'm bored of this job. Wanna drink again later?" Draco asked me as he stood up and went to the door to the living room.

"It's only Monday," I pointed out.

"So? Any nights good for getting shit faced."

"Sure. Okay."

And then I watched him walk out of the room making faces at the back of Hermione's head like he was gonna grab her and kiss her or give her that 'dicking' he talked about. Good thing she didn't see him or else he probably wouldn't have left the house with said dick. But I had to wonder if his misogynistic tendencies and comments were a signal of something deeper, just like he said. Did men really do that to hide their true feelings? I bet some of them really did. Not all of them, of course. I hadn't done that. But maybe someone like Draco would?

Once they were done working, Hermione was going to leave us alone, but Draco convinced her to at least try a shot of whiskey. She never usually drank that, but he got her to agree. So we sat on the couch together and I gave her a proper glass and we urged her to drink up. She made the worst face when it was over and slammed the glass down.

"Oh God, that's disgusting! How can you drink that?" she wondered.

"I like it," I shrugged.

"Me too. It makes you all warm inside."

"I can't believe you're going to get drunk on a work night. You'll regret it in the morning," she chided both of us.

"Maybe we'll just call in sick?" Draco offered taking a swig.

"I'll know you're lying and just really hungover," she told us.

"So? Are you gonna tell on us?" Draco wondered.

"No."

"So then be quiet. You really do need to get laid. You're so uptight," Draco said, shaking his head.

He got smacked across the shoulder really hard for that comment.

"You presume to tell me that I need to get laid? It's none of your business if I do that or not!" she said angrily.

"Oh come on. Admit it. It's been too long hasn't it?" Draco wasn't giving up.

Hermione looked disgusted with him but then she just laughed and sat back into the cushions and covered her face.

"It really has been too long," she admitted.

"Knew it!"

"How long has it been for you?" she wondered curiously, and I wondered the same thing myself.

"Saturday night. Some chippie I met at a bar. Don't think I'm seeing her again any time soon. I don't even remember her name," Draco mused.

"You're a pig," Hermione informed him, and I had to agree.

But he was a pig I wanted to be with. Like I felt like I somehow could know the real him and not this façade he put on for everyone else. But maybe it wasn't really a façade? Maybe the pig was the real him? I wasn't sure.

"I am a pig, but I bet you'd enjoy rolling around in it once in a while," Draco teased Hermione playfully.

"Stop! I would not! You're gross," she made a face at him.

"You just don't want me because I'm not Potter. You fancy him?" Draco asked and Hermione and I both looked at each other with a look of horror on our faces. I don't think she wanted to answer the question and I didn't want her to. But eventually she did.

"I like Harry a lot. But he thinks we're suited as just friends, and I respect that about him."

"Have you two ever kissed each other? Like a real kiss?" Draco asked, no holds barred.

"No!" we both said quickly.

"So try it. It's just a kiss. It doesn't have to change anything."

"No, I don't want to," I told him quickly. But off Hermione's hurt expression I changed my mind. "I mean, I will if she wants me to."

"No, it's fine. It's obvious the idea makes you panic and want to vomit," she pouted.

"It's not that! It's just you're like a sister to me. You know that."

"I don't want to be a sister anymore, Harry."

"I know. But I think….I just think…." I stammered out without knowing what to really say.

"Just kiss me," she told me and she closed her eyes and leaned over Draco towards me and waited expectantly. So I did it. I kissed her. And it wasn't awful. It just wasn't that exciting. The most exciting part was that my hand was resting on Draco's thigh the entire time, and when the kiss ended, I didn't move my hand right away. But Hermione had a dreamy look in her eyes.

"That was a pretty good kiss. Don't you think?" she asked happily.

How could I disappoint her? I didn't know how. But I didn't want to lie and get her hopes up either.

"Hermione, I think I'm kinda gay." I blurted this out so unceremoniously and without warning that she didn't even know what hit her. She just sat there staring at me and giving me a look of confusion.

"Did you hear me?" I asked her again.

"I heard you. But since when? Did my kiss make you gay?" She asked with tears forming in her eyes. "Oh god, you're not really gay, you're just saying that because the kiss was so awful!"

"No, I really am. I think. I'm pretty sure. The answer isn't definitive yet," I tried to explain as best as I could.

"Since when though? You never answered me. You weren't gay before!" she said with tears in her eyes.

"I think I always have been. I just wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. I'm confused," I told her as gently as I could.

"And Draco? He knows? You're just saying this in front of him like it's no big deal. You told Draco Malfoy before you told me?" her tears were really falling now and I couldn't stop them.

"I'm sorry. It just sorta slipped out with him. I didn't mean to tell him first!"

"Does Ronald know?"

"No."

"So just Draco knew?"

"Yes."

"Why?" she shook her head and wiped her eyes, not understanding this at all.

"I don't know why," I shrugged.

"I know why. It's because I'm an outsider. I'm no one. It's easier to tell the person who you don't care what their reaction will be. That's why I was the privileged one. Don't feel bad. It just means he actually cares what you think," Draco explained for me, and he wasn't entirely wrong.

"God this explains so much. Like why you never go out and why your closet is always color coordinated and why you think of me as one of the guys even though I've got a nice set of tits I keep throwing at you and you keep ignoring them. I finally get it!" she started laughing and rubbing my arm affectionately.

"That's me. I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how," I told her.

She leaned over Draco again and hugged me tightly.

"You could have just told me outright you were confused. I would have listened. And not kept tossing out hints that we should get together. God, I feel so stupid now! You must think I'm really stupid," she lamented sadly.

"No, not at all. If things were differently I would want to be with you. I really would. It's just they're not different. And I sort of have a different type I'm looking for," I explained softly.

"Whole other type is right. Someone with a cock. And you'll just never be that person, despite the fact that I once told everyone in school you were a hermaphrodite," Draco chimed in with a sly grin.

"You what?" Hermione was livid.

"I told some people you were a hermaphrodite. It was extra funny because they didn't know what that word meant and I had to explain it to them. It was even better that way."

"You are a fuckwad. How could you tell people that? Ugh!"

"Relax, it was years ago. I don't think they remember. Or else they just don't care if you're packing heat in your knickers or not."

"I hate you. I really do. You are so annoying," Hermione told him.

"I know, but if not for me you'd still be pining away for Harry. I did you both a favor," he said.

I had to wonder if that was his real motivation. To do us a favor or was it to humiliate us both? I don't really know, and part of me doesn't care because it did feel good to get things out in the open with Hermione. But what was I supposed to do with these wayward feelings of lust I had for Draco? I still didn't really know where he stood in the midst of things. Except to be an antagonist.

Hermione wanted to talk endlessly about this new development in my life, but I'd already told her all I could tell her. I just wanted to be left alone with Draco to drink, but I didn't know how to tell her that. I'd already hurt her feelings once this night, I didn't want to do it again. But finally I had to put a stop to all the questions.

"Hermione, I love you. You know that. But for all that is good in this world, can you please stop talking? I've said all I want to say on the subject of my personal life. Can't we just drink and be merry?" I asked her.

She was taken aback momentarily and held her hands to her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. Am I being annoying by asking so many questions? It's just I have them all in my head and don't know what to do," she admitted sheepishly.

"Love, it's not rocket science. Your best friend is a raging homo and he's not going to marry you one day. End of discussion," Draco chimed in helpfully.

"Can we stop calling me a raging homo? I'm more like a smoldering pile of confused boners," I said raising my hand.

They both looked at me and erupted into laughter. Like the real kind of laughter where your belly aches and tears form in your eyes and you can't breathe. And I don't know that what I said was that funny, but it helped drain the tension out of the room. And it didn't hurt that they'd both been drinking whiskey shots the entire time. Even Hermione who hated the taste but somehow felt traumatized enough now to drink it. But she was laughing in this instance. And the next thing I knew she'd wrapped her arms around me in a hug and Draco grabbed us both and smooshed us together. It was a nice group hug experience and it wasn't lost on me that Draco felt the need to be a part of it. Except I couldn't tell who he was trying to cop a feel of. His hand was on my low back near my ass, but a quick glance over Hermione's shoulder showed his hand in the same position there. Maybe he wanted us both? Or neither of us? Or maybe I'd already drank too much? Soon enough, the experience was over and we were all sitting on the couch.

Hermione stood up and said she'd had enough to drink, and I expected Draco to leave. But when questioned by me if he was going, he patted me on the back and said no. He was there to drink with me and call in sick tomorrow. So I just sat back into the cushions next to him and we passed the bottle back and forth in silence for a while. Then I looked at him.

"Have you ever been confused?" I very boldly asked him, because I'd been dying to know.

He just shook his head slightly.

"Nah, I always know what I want."

"Have you ever wanted a guy?"

"Are you asking me on a date, Potter?" he snickered slightly and shoved my arm playfully.

"No! Just curious," I tried to save the situation without turning red.

"I'll be honest with you okay? No, I've never wanted a guy. However, if I found myself in a situation where that felt like the thing to do? Well, I'd do it. I'm secure enough in my manhood to say that because I don't think it'll ever happen. But I'm not gonna say never. I'm a very sexual person and if a guy wants to blow me or something? Maybe I'd let him," Draco shrugged and chugged the whiskey.

"So if some guy was just giving out blow jobs, you'd unzip?" I asked in confused awe.

"Maybe? A blowie is a blowie, am I right?" he laughed to himself.

"I guess. Except Ginny tried to give me one and I couldn't stay hard," I admitted with a small sigh.

Draco laughed again and I wondered if he'd ever heard of tact, but I don't think he has. I felt stupid yet again, but he just waved it away.

"You think too much, Potter. I'd just close my eyes and think of whatever I wanted to think about. Sod all else. It could be anyone sucking me off," he explained.

"But that sucks, pardon the pun. I mean, I would want the person I was doing that to, to be thinking of me. Not someone else," I protested.

"Well then don't give me a blowie then. Because I'll probably be thinking of Hermione. God, she's wound so tight I bet she'd really let loose in bed. Think she gives blowies or is she too prudish?" Draco wondered.

"Malfoy I have no idea. And she's my best friend. Can you stop talking so crudely about what you wanna do to her? I'd never let you near her now," I told him.

"I never said I wouldn't like her while it was going on. I have a deep interest in her as a person, not just a sex object," he said with something that almost sounded sincere, if I didn't know better.

"Liar. You just want in her pants."

"True. But I do like the girl. She's charming. And sometimes she's funny. I like her when she's not working, let's put it that way. Otherwise she's a drill sergeant."

"She is wound very tight. And when it comes to working, forget it. She's all business."

"Yeah, you could say that. Which is why I find her so fascinating when she does let loose. Like drinking whiskey and that dress she put on the other night? Hello sex kitten. I think she just needs a man like me to show her a good time."

I wish Draco would show me a good time. I couldn't help but be jealous of my own best friend. She had the one guy I wanted lusting after her and to him I was sort of a running joke. But he also said that he'd let me blow him, basically. If I got on my knees and unzipped I could have him. But then I'd know he was envisioning me as Hermione. I was trying to figure out if that bothered me as much as it should. But before I could get enough nerve to offer to give him a blowie, he stood up and said he needed the loo. I just sat back in defeat and wondered what Draco would do if I kissed him. He never said what he'd do if someone was giving out free kisses instead of free blow jobs. But I realized he'd probably just laugh at me some more, so I fiddled with a loose button on my shirt and waited for him to come back.

"So Potter, who is this guy you said you fancied? I know you didn't want to tell me, but I'm curious," Draco asked as he walked back in the room and plopping down practically on top of me on the couch.

"What? Oh. The guy. I'm still not telling you. I'm not even sure I actually like him. He's kind of a prat," I admitted.

"A prat eh? Where'd you meet him?"

"Work."

"Name?"

"Nameless."

"Nameless? Come on, just tell me!" he pleaded.

"No! Never. So don't ask again."

"You gonna blow him?"

"Maybe?"

"God really? I was just kidding," Draco laughed.

"Well you basically said men don't give up free blowies, so I might try that tactic," I shrugged.

"Yeah? I wish women were so easy. I'd get on my knees and service Hermione if I thought she wouldn't behead me for trying," Draco lamented.

I started laughing at the insane imagery, but I knew she probably wouldn't be that receptive to Draco climbing under her skirt uninvited.

"See, this is why men are better. They are easy. If I unzipped your pants right now, what would you do?" I asked drunkenly.

"I'd laugh for starters," he chuckled at me.

"Yeah, but then you said you'd go for it right?" I offered hopefully.

"Maybe," he shrugged.

"See, that's why I like men. Simplicity."

"Men are all whores is what you're saying," he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I didn't say that! You did!"

"You're right, I did. Oops. I'm starting to forget stuff. Which is the best part of being drunk," he smiled at me.

"Are we friends, Draco?" I blurted out without thinking how pathetic it sounded.

He shoved me slightly and ruffled my already messy hair.

"Course we are. Except I'm not sure you like me," he laughed slightly.

"I'm not sure I do either, but I can tell you stuff. Secret stuff. I've never had someone I felt like that with," I admitted.

"Bollocks. What about Weasley?" Draco reminded me of my other best friend, whom I hadn't spoken to much lately.

"Ron is great. But some things are hard to tell him. Like all this stuff. But you make it easier."

"Well you're welcome. I didn't know you'd blurt out your biggest secrets to me, but it means something that you trust me. Even if I've never given you a reason to," he explained with some awkwardness.

"You have never given me a real reason to trust you, which is why it's so surprising that I do. But you're easy to talk to. Fun. I kind of sort of like you. As a friend! I feel the need to clarify that!" I tossed in to avoid this sounding like the love declaration it really was.

"Likewise, Potter. I like you too. God if my father heard me say that he'd kill me. But truth is, I always wanted to be your friend. You just blew me off and hated me, so I hated you right back. But I tried to be your friend. Remember the day we first met at the robe shop? I thought we were going to be best buds. Two Slytherin peas in a pod. But obviously that never happened," Draco said with the utmost sincerity and for once he wasn't goofing around.

"You really thought we'd be best buds?" I asked with surprise.

"Sure did."

"You didn't even know me."

"Didn't have to. You seemed nice and had good taste in robes, so I assumed you had money. And we were both new to Hogwarts. I just assumed we'd be fast friends. I didn't know you were the great Harry Potter until later."

"Well you shouldn't be too surprised we didn't end up friends when you basically introduced yourself to me by saying you hated everything about me and my friends and then offering a handshake," I laughed slightly.

Draco shoved me over playfully.

"Shut up. I was eleven. My delivery was a bit off."

"Yeah, well you kept getting worse. You were a real asshole. Like I truly hated you."

"And now?"

"Now, not so much. Sometimes I still hate you though."

"Sometimes I still hate you too, so we're even."

I just smiled at him. I didn't know what else to do. Except I wanted to kiss him. Really badly. But I had to hold myself back. I knew he'd probably freak and bolt if I did that. But it meant a lot to me that he could have a real conversation with me. Not just always joking or making fun of me Draco Malfoy admitted he wanted to be my friend. That was a shocking and amazing new development in my life. Now I knew it wasn't just that he was talking to me because I was there. He actually liked me. I felt like I could walk on clouds because of this.

"I think I've drank my fair share tonight. The room is spinning," Draco admitted after we had sat in silence for a while.

"Me too. It's definitely spinning. You gonna go home?" I asked.

"No. I mean, I will if you really want me to, but I sort of fancy crashing on your couch. Apparating doesn't sound fun right now. I might puke."

"Okay. You can stay here. Are you really playing hooky from work tomorrow?"

"Yes. Bloody hell, I'd never make it in like this," he chuckled.

"Me neither."

"We can hang out tomorrow. Just us guys. It'll be fun. I'll even let you paint my toenails," Draco laughed.

"You want your toenails painted? And you say I'm the gay one," I laughed right back.

"I was kidding obviously," he made a face at me.

"I know. Which is good since I don't know how to paint nails."

"Me neither."

"We could have a burping contest or something else manlier," I offered.

"Sounds good," he smiled at me.

And then we just sat there together and said nothing. His arm was around the back of the couch, semi around me, even if I knew that wasn't his intent. And our bodies were touching as we sat so close together. Draco was really warm and I wish I could have run my hands over that hot body, but that would be stretching the boundaries a little too much. But the next thing I realized, we had fallen asleep. When I woke, I was laying on his shoulder and my hands were in his lap. His head was tipped back and his mouth was open and he looked rather silly, but I thought he looked great still. That was always the sign of brain damaged love. I did notice that his hand was on my knee and his other hand was resting on top of my hand in his lap. It was quite a lovely scene actually. Until it got interrupted when Hermione came down the stairs and announced it was time for work.

"Rise and shine!" she said in a very loud overly cheerful voice.

"Oh fuck off," Draco mumbled as he stretched and tried to roll over and hide in the couch cushions.

"I think we're both staying home sick today," I told Hermione as I nestled down closer to Draco and tried to pretend it wasn't on purpose we were still snuggled together.

"You two are terrible. And Draco is on my last nerve because now I have to do all the work on our project alone. I wish I had an air horn to blow in his ear right now," she said huffily.

"No, please no air horn. I beg of you," I said imploringly.

"Fine. Enjoy snuggling with your new boyfriend; I'll see you later," she said as she came over and kissed my forehead and straightened my glasses on my face.

Draco was pretending to be asleep when she left, but he was really awake. Albeit, begrudgingly. But he looked up at me as I lay on top of him slightly and had my hands on his hip.

"Is she gone?" he asked me. I nodded and he let out a sigh of relief. " Good. I hope she doesn't turn me in. She wouldn't do that would she? I don't want to lose my job."

"Nah, she wouldn't turn you in. Even if she hates you."

"You better be right."

"I am. I know her really well. She likes to get mad at irresponsibility but she'd never tell on a friend."

"I'm not her friend though," Draco pointed out Hermione's obvious distaste for Draco on most days.

"I wouldn't worry. Trust me. She's just not like that."

"Good because I'm knackered. Did we really sleep sitting up all night? Fuck, my neck is killing me," he said, rubbing it with one hand.

"We did and yes my neck is sore too."

"I feel like I got run over," he admitted.

"Want me to rub your neck?" I offered boldly. Or at least it felt pretty bold considering my feelings.

He stared at me a minute then he just shrugged.

"Sure. A neck rub is like a blowie. You don't say no if someone is offering one for free," he laughed and winked at me.

The wink confused me. What did that mean? Maybe he just had something in his eye? I wasn't sure but I got to work rubbing his neck all nice and proper and I realized just how badly I wanted to run my hands through his hair. So I did. I ran a hand through his hair and laughed slightly.

"Your hair is messy," I told him casually.

He leaned over and ran his hand through my hair and it almost didn't make it out alive.

"Your hair is a disaster too, Potter."

Were we really running our hands through each other's hair? This felt like a dream, but it was really happening. I'd never wanted to kiss him more. But I refrained.

"Your hair is soft," I whispered playing with it.

"Yours is tangled," he chuckled, his hand getting caught in the mess.

Then it was as if he realized what we were doing and he yanked his hand away and sat up straighter.

"My neck feels better now, so it's cool. You can stop. But thanks," he stammered slightly.

"Oh. Okay. You're welcome."

"It's all good. I need to use the toilet," he announced and stood up to leave.

I just laid down on the couch, face first into the cushions, and cursed myself for running my hands through his hair. That was so awkward. Even he felt awkward. We both probably did. And it was my stupid fault. But it was getting harder to control myself around him. When he came back and I was still hiding in the cushions and didn't look up when he sat back down.

"You hiding from me?" he asked ruffling my hair playfully.

"No. I'm just hiding from myself. I'm really hungover," I explained to him.

"God, me too. I think we made a bad choice last night."

"I think I'm always making bad choices. No wonder they don't let me catch dark wizards by myself," I lamented. "I'd probably play with their hair or offer them a neck massage."

Draco laughed and patted my shoulder.

"It's alright, Potter. I didn't mind. And I played with your hair too. Couldn't resist seeing as how messy it is. I wanted to know if it felt all crunchy or if it was soft," he said trying to cheer me up.

"And? Which is it?" I wondered with a small grin plastered on my face.

"It's soft. But you could use a comb now and again. How are you gonna get anyone to fuck you if they have to look at that hair?" Draco teased.

"Check. Comb my hair better. Anything else?"

"Nah. Can't think of anything. You've got the adorable smile going for you. And some people dig the glasses. Or you could take them off?"

"But if I take them off, I can't see anything. Like at all. I'm blind as a bat."

"What about contacts?"

"I'm allergic."

"Damn. Well that's fine. Glasses can be hot. Maybe. Sort of. On the right person anyway," he told me, scrutinizing my face.

"Am I the right person?" I wondered as I gulped audibly and waited for a kiss I knew was never happening.

"Let's just say you pull it off," Draco smiled and then he shook his head and took a deep breath. "Alright, so got any food? I'm nauseous but hungry, so I need toast. Toast me up. Unless you'd rather go out to breakfast?" He changed the subject, which I was both grateful for and annoyed by. But it was what it was.

"I've got bread here, but it might be moldy. We'd be better off at a coffee shop."

"Alright. Let's go."

I wanted to change my clothes or brush my teeth or run a comb through my hair, but Draco was adamant about leaving as soon as possible. He gets cranky when he's hungry. Which I added to a mental list of things I was learning about him lately. But the next thing I knew, we were at a coffee shop in the city, sipping coffee and eating toast and eggs together.

"Who would have thunk this huh?" he asked as he spread jam on his toast.

"Thunk what?" I wondered.

"This. Us two. Buddies. Like for real. Life is so weird."

"Oh, yeah. Totally weird. I never would have imagined this either." Or that I'd be falling in love with him. Or at least that's what I thought was happening. Much to my chagrin.

"I think I'm gonna make it my life's mission to get you laid, right and proper. It's what a friend would do, right? I mean, you cannot be a 21 year old virgin. Not in my presence," Draco announced.

"It's not that old. Or pathetic. Lots of people wait these days," I said defensively.

"No they don't wait. Only the really ugly or really religious people are virgins at 21."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is. And even ugly people find other ugly people to shag. So really it's just you and the holy rollers."

"How are you gonna find me someone to shag?" I asked with amusement at how easy he tried to make it sound.

"I don't know. But I will. We could find a gay bar! That's a perfect place," he said triumphantly.

"I don't know any gay bars. Do you?"

"No, but I could find out. It's not that hard. We'll find a bar and then you'll meet some bloke and just go for it. You don't even need to like him really. That's what I do. I just take a person home for a few hours and then bang it out and be done with it."

"That's kind of on the empty side. I'm looking for something meaningful," I explained as I sipped my coffee.

"Fuck meaningful. At least right now. You're in a crisis situation. You just need to get boned. There's plenty of time for lovey dovey magical shit. Now you just need a good dicking even more than Hermione does."

"Will you stop saying that word? It's gross and stupid," I laughed, with my face turning red.

"Well what do you want me to call it?" he wondered with a raised eyebrow.

"Anything but that!"

"Okay, you need your ass pounded like a prison movie. And I'm gonna help you do it," he smiled broadly.

"Oh yeah, that's a much better way of putting it. Thanks. God, why do you care so much or not if I get laid?" I asked curiously.

"Because I'm your mate. And I don't want you to be pathetic. Or lonely. Or hard up. I want you to be happy. And trust me, nothing makes a bloke happier than getting laid," Draco explained sincerely.

"Well thanks. It's nice of you to care," I said, trying not to give away how touched I really was that Draco cared so much.

"It's not a problem. It's what friends are for. And I've never played matchmaker for two blokes before. It's new territory. But I think it's gonna be easier than finding you a bird. With females you usually gotta at least pretend you want more than a fuck. But men are cretins."

"I'm not a cretin."

"Well most men are. Trust me. I'm one," he laughed and raised his coffee cup to me.

I raised mine back and clinked cups with him.

"To cretins! May they help me get laid," I said with a big grin.

"Exactly." Draco smiled at me too.

"So what about your other mates? Do they know you're friends with me? I'd imagine they'd give you shit for it," I asked curiously.

"Them? Oh who cares. But yeah, they'd give me shit for sure. But I don't care. It's my life. And I can be friends with whomever I choose," he said dismissively. "What about Weasley? God he fucking detests me. What would he say?"

"He'd probably have me committed to St. Mungo's. Which is why I'm not telling him."

"We're secret friends. I kinda like that. Clandestine meetings, gay bars, sleeping on your couch together. It's all very hush hush and exciting," he said with a chuckle.

"Weird things make you happy, you know that?" I told him.

"I know."

"I like that about you."

"I like that you like it."

And with that I just stared at him and couldn't take my eyes off him. He was so fucking cute. I mean, cute sounds so trite and juvenile but I didn't know a better word. He was sexy as hell and I just wanted to rip off all his clothes. I claimed to be confused about my sexuality, and it was true most of the time. But not when I looked at Draco. When I looked at him, I knew damn well which way my door swung. And I wanted to shout to the world that I was gay and in lust with Draco Malfoy. Except I don't know how well that would have gone over with him. Or anyone else. But that's how I felt. And I still wasn't convinced Draco was 100% straight. He kept making comments or doing things or touching me. You name it. He was doing it. And it was confusing. But it was the only thing confusing about him. When it came to my feelings, I was clear as a bell about what and who I wanted. And that was Draco Malfoy. God help me.

To be continued….