Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. JK Rowling and company own them. I merely play with them for my own amusement. Please don't sue. I have nothing of value anyway.
Summary: Harry is caught in a love triangle to rival all else. He's found himself questioning his sexuality and is owning up to his attraction to Draco Malfoy. Meanwhile Draco is cozying up to Hermione, who won't give him the time of day. And Hermione keeps thinking there's hope for her and Harry to have a future together. It's a tangled web of emotions and will anyone get what they want? Set a couple of years after Hogwarts ended. Told from Harry's POV. Drarry, with undertones of Harmony and Dramione.
Three is a Crowd
Once Hermione got home from the cinema, I frantically and excitedly told her all about my day. She was jumping up and down for me and thrilled that it seemed like I had gotten what I wanted after all. But then after that day, nothing happened. I saw Draco briefly at work, and Hermione saw him more, but he didn't excitedly talk about me. He didn't bring me up at all, according to her. And he was still flirting up a storm with her instead. I was more confused than ever. Did our kisses mean nothing? Did he not really want me as much as he said he wanted me? I didn't know what to think, but I was pretty depressed and also a little angry about it. I mean, you don't just do those things with a person then flirt with their best girlfriend and act like you don't exist! It's not polite or fair. Which always brought me back to Draco telling me he'd break my heart. Maybe he was just trying to break it now instead of later on down the road when it'd be worse? But that was a stupid plan, in my opinion. Draco was being stupid. And Hermione agreed with me and she said she gave him a good talking to and asked him what the hell was going on. But being the aloof bastard that he was, he just told her to stay out of it and then went back to his desk. Apparently he couldn't handle Hermione's shrill opinions. Which in his defense, can be a little hard to handle. But he deserved it!
Finally after an entire week went by without him so much as saying hi to me when he saw me, everything changed. He showed up at my house and I answered the door. He was just standing there with his hands wringing together and he looked nervous.
"Potter," he said when I opened the door.
"Malfoy," I said back, rather coolly.
"Look, I know I've been a bastard and I'm sorry. It's just I can't deal with this right now. Or at all really," he admitted as he made no move to come in.
"You can't just do what we did and then say that. It's not okay. At least come in and explain yourself better," I said trying to hide how much sadness and disappointment that was in my voice.
"Why do you need me to come in?" he asked somewhat awkwardly.
"Why'd you come all the way here if you're not going to at least come in?" I shot back.
"You got me there," he sighed. "I don't know why I came over. I probably shouldn't have."
"I don't understand, Draco. I thought we had a good time. Why are you being this way?" I wondered with confusion.
He sighed and ran his hands through his sexy bed hair.
"Look, I told you I'd break your heart and I wasn't good at monogamy. All that shit is true. So I thought I'd simply spare you the details and just let it go," he told me finally.
"Why do you have to break my heart? And what's so bad about monogamy? You can't commit to one person at all?" I asked, not understanding.
"It's hard for me. Especially because like I told you, I'm attracted to people for who they are. And to be quite honest, I'm still attracted to Hermione. I can't get the girl out of my head. But now there's you. And what am I supposed to do?" he asked, shaking his head.
"You've got to be joking. Hermione? She doesn't want you, Draco. Because unlike you, she's a friend and wouldn't do that to me when she knows I like you," I said angrily.
"What can I say? I'm a fuckwad. I never pretended I wasn't. I shouldn't have kissed you or said all those things," he admitted covering his face with his hands.
"Yeah, well you did do all that stuff and said those things. Why can't you just be a man and own up to it all?" I challenged him.
"Look, can I come in? It's kind of chilly out here and if you're really hell bent on this conversation, then I should come in."
"It's probably a lot chillier inside here, but be my guest," I said, motioning for him to come in. It was downright cold in the house in terms of my attitude towards him.
He walked inside and went to sit on the couch. Before I could say anything, Hermione walked in and saw him sitting there.
"Oh! Sorry! I didn't know Harry had company. I'll just go back to the kitchen," she said quickly and turned around.
But Draco stood up.
"Wait! Don't go Hermione. I actually wanted to see you," he admitted softly, realizing how awkward the entire situation was.
"Me? Why would you want to see me?" she asked totally perplexed.
"He still likes you," I chimed in with bitterness in my voice.
"Still likes me? But we only went out once and then you and Harry…"
"I know. But I've been trying to explain to Harry that what we did was a mistake. He's a little cross with me," Draco said in a small voice.
"A little cross? Try flaming mad. I can't even believe you came to my house to see Hermione after we made out naked and you said you'd wanted me for ages!" I said with more anger than I realized I had.
"I know that happened, but I wish it didn't. It was a mistake, Harry. I really just want to be friends with you. I should have never crossed that line," he said imploringly.
But I was having none of it.
"So you think you still have a chance with Hermione after that? Think again. She's a better friend than you'll ever be," I said huffily, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Harry's right. I'm not going out with you Draco. Not again. Not after you made out with Harry. He really likes you, you know? And you're playing games. I will not abide that or forgive it in any way. I don't like players," Hermione came to my defense nicely.
"Fine then. So you both hate me. I get it. I fucked up. But I'm confused, okay? I don't know what I want. If I'm honest, I want both of you," Draco said holding his hands in the air.
"Both of us?" Hermione and I said in disbelief at the same time.
"Yes, both of you. Is that so weird?" Draco wondered.
"Uh, yeah. It's not typical anyway. Do you mean at the same time or alternating weekends or what?" I asked with utter confusion.
"I don't know! Maybe not at the same time. But I can't make up my mind!"
"Well let me simple it up for you, Malfoy. I don't want to date you. End of story," Hermione said, giving him a look.
"But you did want to date me. We went out!" he protested.
"So? Harry means more to me than you do. So forget it. I'd rather see Harry happy."
"But I don't know that I really want a relationship with him," Draco said uncomfortably, looking away from me.
"Don't do me any favors. I never said I wanted a relationship with you either!" I lied to him. I had to somehow save face. He was ruining all my fantasies.
"I thought you did." Draco said shaking his head.
"I just wanted to have fun. And we had fun. I just don't get why it had to stop, is all," I said sitting on the couch and sighing.
"I'm terrible at this shit. Plus I'm not a hundred percent comfortable with my own sexuality, okay? Does that make you happy? I know that I'm attracted to you and Hermione both and it confuses the fuck out of me. I don't know what to do with the feelings. I-I've never acted on my attractions to men before! You were the first, Harry. And I freaked out," Draco admitted sitting down next to me on the couch, but far enough away so that we weren't touching.
"There's nothing to be uncomfortable about, Draco," I said, trying to comfort him when I wasn't entirely comfortable in my own skin either. He was my first too. I just assumed he'd kissed other guys before since he was so nonchalant about the whole matter.
"Are you comfortable being gay? You can barely even say the word without stuttering," Draco pointed out to me.
"I-I'm not uncomfortable. I'm confused. Or rather, I was. But you sort of made me see the light. I know what I want now," I said with confidence, and it wasn't a lie. I was owning up to my true feelings, even if they were slightly awkward for me.
"Well I'm not as sure about what I want. Or who I want. I mean, I enjoyed our time. A lot. Don't get me wrong. But Hermione…look at her. She's beautiful. I-I can't stop thinking about her," Draco said giving Hermione a sideways glance, seemingly afraid to look at her head on.
"Draco, I don't feel that for you okay? I-I mean, I might. If Harry wasn't in the picture. But he is. And I refuse to hurt him like that," Hermione said truthfully.
"You know what? Forget it. I won't be hurt. If he really wants to be with you, then you guys should just be together," I said, not really meaning that, but unsure what else to really say. Hermione was being a good friend, but if Draco really fancied her, what was the point in me stopping them? I didn't stand a chance.
"See, Harry doesn't care," Draco said quickly to Hermione.
"Well I care! I'm not going out with you. So forget it," she threw up her hands and shook her head.
"I'm just going to leave I think. I shouldn't have come," Draco said, standing up and heading for the door.
I stood up after him.
"Why did you come? To tell me you didn't want me? To ask Hermione on a date? Why?" I asked angrily.
"I came because I felt bad for ignoring you. I just wanted to explain myself. But I didn't really do a very good job of it."
"No, you really didn't. You just fucked up everything really. Now we're not even friends," I said sadly, unable to hide my disappointment.
"We could be though. I'd like to be. With both of you. If you'll have me," he said hopefully.
I looked at Hermione and she looked back at me. We tried to silently communicate with our eyes and we were pretty good at reading each other's signals. She was saying hell no, but I was saying, it's better than nothing. She gave me a look that said I deserved better, and I knew she was right, but I just didn't care. She saw me wavering and she grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the kitchen.
"We'll be right back," she told Draco, dragging me along.
She got me into the kitchen and whirled me around to face her.
"No Harry. He's trouble. He's going to break your heart even worse than he already has. He said so himself! We don't need him as our friend," she protested.
"But it was fun when we hung out together and stuff. I like his company. I can live without the romance," I shot back.
"But you like him much more than just a friend. You were so freaking excited when he kissed you. I can't watch you make a mistake like handing him your heart to mangle up," she said with concern.
"I'm a big boy. I can handle myself, you realize."
"I know. I just love you Harry. I don't want things to get weird or complicated or painful."
"They won't. We'll all just be friends. No one will expect more or want more," I said with hope in my voice. I was just not eager to let Draco go.
"But people already want more. He wants to bed me and you want to bed him. And frankly no one's asked me what I really want," she lamented with a sigh.
"I know what you want," I chimed in softly.
"Yeah?"
"You wanted me," I said in a small voice. "And we're still friends right? So why can't we be friends with Draco?"
She didn't have a comeback for that right away because she knew it was true. She finally sighed and rubbed her eyes.
"I don't like him as much as I like you so it's less important to me," she finally said.
"Well I do like him as much as I like you, so it's important to me to be his friend. You don't have to, but I think he's hoping for a package deal," I told her truthfully.
"Fine, fine. But I'm not going out with him. I still respect your feelings too much to do that," she held up her hands.
"I wouldn't expect you to go out with him. Just be his friend. That's it. Like it was before."
"Okay. I still hate the idea, but okay."
"Okay. I love you Hermione," I smiled at her and kissed her cheek.
"Yeah, yeah. Ditto. The things I do for you, Harry!" she said giving me an exasperated smile.
"Come on, let's go back in the other room."
I took her hand and pulled her with me this time and we exited the kitchen and found Draco standing there examining the upholstery on the couch cushions. He looked up when we entered the room.
"So what's the verdict? Am I allowed to be friends with you two or am I banished back to my own corner of the universe?" he asked curiously.
"We can be friends," I announced.
"But you can be better friends with Harry than me. I don't really like you much," Hermione chimed in.
"Fair enough. Okay. May I ask why you don't like me much?" he asked her quietly.
"Do you really have to ask? You play with people's emotions. Among other things. I barely could stand you before and I only went out with you because you wore me down. But if you hurt Harry, I will punch you in the face again. And don't think I won't. Plus I'm stronger now than I was when I was thirteen so it might hurt just a little bit more," she said making a fist and showing it to Draco.
"Point taken. I'll be good and no one gets punched in the face," he said holding up his hands in surrender.
"Okay, friends then. Do you want to have dinner with us? We were going to order a pizza," I offered him, hoping he'd say yes.
"Sure. Pizza sounds good."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"I'll make the call," Hermione said with a small sigh. I could tell she wasn't really on board with this, but I know she loved me enough to suffer through this just so I'd be happy. I'd have to find some way to properly thank her for that.
Draco and I sat on the couch together and at first it felt awkward but soon enough he relaxed and wasn't acting like he was afraid to touch me. And I was holding back my emotions really well this time and pretended that his presence didn't affect me at all, even though it really did. I still wanted him. And I knew deep down he still wanted me. He'd said he wanted both of us. So I knew it wasn't crazy of me to think that. He just wasn't comfortable yet with who he was. And I personally felt like he was using his crush on Hermione to somehow 'normalize' himself and reject the parts that were actually gay and not just ambiguous like he tried to say they were. But I knew how it felt to want to lie to yourself about how you felt. I didn't want to be gay either, but I was fighting a losing battle. I am who I am, and Draco is Draco. No matter how hard he tries not to be. I know the real him. But then again, people were bisexual or pansexual or whatever-sexual, these days. I didn't know all the terms and wasn't about to make a fool of myself trying to use them. I just knew that sexuality wasn't so cut and dried anymore and it never really was. I was learning that. Because if I was straight, I'd probably be marrying Hermione someday. I loved her enough and she was a perfect match for me. Except I didn't want to sleep with her. I used to think it was just because we were such good friends and that I thought of her as a sister, but the reality of it was, that I wasn't really attracted sexually to any women. It wasn't just her. But I sure tried hard to hide that. And that's what Draco was doing. Maybe one day he'd get tired of hiding? I wanted to make sure I was there if that day ever came.
We waited for the pizza to come and it was rather awkward at first. Hermione wasn't really talking to either of us, and I was attempting small talk with Draco.
"So how have you been this last week?" I asked finally, just to break the silence.
"Fine. Feeling like a shithead mostly, but that's to be expected," he admitted. "You?"
"I've been confused and upset mostly. So yeah, it's kind of sucked," I answered truthfully.
"I'm really sorry. I should have just said something sooner."
"Anyone wonder how I've been?" Hermione chimed in.
"How have you been?" Draco asked curiously.
"Pissed at you. And I know you said you're sorry, but Harry deserved better," she told him as she gave him a glare.
"I thought we were going to be friends and not hate me?" Draco said with a sigh.
"I'm trying, but it's so weird. Just last week Harry was on cloud nine because of you," she told him, and I wished she hadn't. I gave her a look.
"Please shut up, Hermione. I mean, can we not talk about my lameness in front of Draco?" I asked.
"Don't tell me to shut up, mister. You know I hate that," she said turning her nose up at me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I just…it's just…you're embarrassing me, Hermione," I stammered.
"Look, I don't want you two to fight because of me. I know you were happy Harry, and I was too. I ruined it. And Hermione, you have every reason to be mad at me. I just wish we could all say it was water under the bridge and start anew," he pleaded with her.
"I'm trying. I really am. I just don't know what to say to you," she admitted.
"How about we change the subject from how we are, to what we did. Did you do anything fun this week?" I interjected, trying to save this situation.
"I worked."
"Yeah, me too."
"I had dinner with my folks Wednesday night," Draco tossed out.
"How was that?" I wondered.
"It was terrible mostly. My father harped on me for not getting a promotion at work yet. And my mother drank too much wine. Same old, same old."
"Is there a promotion you were up for at work?" I asked looking at him and Hermione.
"There is one, but so far they haven't said who's getting it. I'm hoping it'll be me," Hermione said with a proud smile.
"It probably will be you," Draco agreed, even if he seemed slightly disappointed.
"You did a lot of work on that project too, but let's be real here. You spent half your time hanging out with Harry instead of working with me," she said truthfully.
"I did my fair share!" he protested.
"No you didn't. I mean, you did some, but I did more. And then you called in sick that day. I've never once called in ill to work. They look at that stuff!"
"Fine. Right. I suck. I get it."
"I never said you sucked," she shook her head. "I said you did some of the work. I just did more."
"I hope you get it then. I don't really even want it. More responsibility? Nah. Not for me."
"More money? I rather think you'd like that part," she smiled at him.
"Pfft. Who needs more money? I have plenty of money already," he laughed slightly.
"Oh shut up. Not all of us are independently wealthy," she stuck out her tongue at him.
"It's not just me. Isn't Harry rich too?" he asked.
"I wouldn't say rich, but I'm set for a while," I admitted, not wanting to rub it in Hermione's face.
"Well fuck you both then," she laughed as stuck up her nose at us.
I was relieved to hear her laugh and I think so was Draco. We both started laughing too and finally the atmosphere didn't feel so tense. I wanted it to feel more relaxed like it used to be. But that almost seemed impossible at first. There was just too much weirdness between us all. But the tension was broken. And I wondered what was really going on in Draco's mind. Did he imagine this night turning into a hot threesome starring me, him, and Hermione? Or was he really just there to be our friend? He was very hard to read. But once we were done eating, it looked like he was going to leave. He stood up and thanked us for letting him crash the meal.
"It's not a problem. Are you leaving?" I asked curiously.
"Only if you want me to leave. I wasn't sure how long the invitation stretched out."
"I'm going to go upstairs and read," Hermione announced, effectively getting herself out of an awkward situation.
"Really? You wouldn't rather have a drink with us?" I asked willing her to not scare Draco away so fast.
But she was having none of it. She shook her head.
"No drinks for me. I'll see you two later,"
And she headed up the stairs, leaving me and Draco alone. I looked at him.
"Do you want to have a drink? Or is being alone with me too much for you?" I wondered.
"I can be alone with you, you ninny. I just want to keep it friendly, is all," he said uncomfortably.
"I promise I won't try to jump your bones," I said snidely, shaking my head. "Even if there was a time when I thought you wanted me to."
"Harry, don't start okay? I know what happened and what I said, but I can't live up to it. Do you even know what my father would do if he found out what little I already did?" he said seriously.
"I thought you didn't give two shits less about your parents? Your father especially."
"I don't. But I do care about the money. He'll cut me off. He won't understand. He's not a 'cool' dad."
"I know he's not a 'cool' dad, but surely it's none of his business what you do. You're a grown man," I pointed out.
"I know I am, but I still have to live somewhat by his rules. And honestly he wants me to get married to a girl he knows the family of. I've protested that for a long time, but if he gets his wish, I'll be married off," Draco explained somewhat sadly.
"That's not what you want, I take it," I said quietly.
"No. Are you mad? Of course not," he scoffed. "If I had my way I'd…well, I'm not going to say what I want because it's a fantasy and not real."
"No tell me. What do you actually want?" I asked intently, needing to know the answer.
"Potter, I like you a lot. I have feelings for you. But I also fancy your friend, even if she hates me. In a perfect world, it'd just be the three of us together happily. Like one of those hippie love ins or some such shit. But if my father knew I was with a man and a mudblood? Shit will hit the fan and fly everywhere and no one will escape," he explained.
"So being with either one of us is shameful to you, but yet you still want us," I clarified.
"Yes, it's shameful. But you have to understand how I was brought up. You just didn't go against my father's wishes. Ever. Not unless you wanted an ass whooping."
"I'm sorry it's like that. And that it was always like that. But I think you're a grownup who doesn't need his father's money if everything else makes you miserable. What good are riches if you're alone or with a girl you don't even fancy? That sounds horrible."
He sighed.
"It is horrible. It's downright fucked up. I took a huge risk going to that gay bar with you, only I knew my father's spies would never in a million years be there. But if I get caught with you in a compromising position, it's all over for me. I can't risk it."
"Why didn't you just tell me all this before? I had no idea you were living under your father's thumb like this."
"I felt stupid, to be honest. You and Hermione don't cower in terror at your parents judgements."
"That's because we don't have parents," I said softly, knowing full well he was aware of my situation, but I didn't know if he knew about Hermione's.
"Hermione has folks doesn't she?" he looked confused.
"Uh, not anymore. She erased their memories and sent them to Australia. We tried to fix them and get them back, but it was useless. They were too damaged. And the healers said to let them go. So they don't know Hermione is their daughter. They blissfully live around the world and don't even know she exists," I explained.
"What? Why? How did that happen?" he was confused.
"Well, it's really not my story to tell I suppose. But since I already did, long story short, she was trying to protect them during the war. She thought we could fix them when it was over, if any of us survived. But it couldn't be done."
"Shit. That's fucking horrible. She must be devastated," he said shaking his head.
"She is. Or rather was. I don't know. She doesn't talk about it much anymore. She tells people they're dead just because it's easier than explaining the truth," I told him.
"Well I feel bad for her, but it doesn't change my situation. I wish someone would erase my parents memories or at least give them brain transplants. You don't know what it's like to live in fear of your own father. My mum is pretty great, but my dad is not very open minded."
"He never struck me as open minded, that's for sure. But I still say you should secretly do whatever you want to do," I said, hoping it might sway him back into my arms. It was a stupid, shitty reason to be apart just because he was afraid of losing his inheritance and his father's approval.
"I do live my life in secret. As much as I can. But he still finds things out. Like he found out I was spending most of my time here for a while and he wanted to know why. So I said it was for work, which wasn't a lie. And he said that it better be for work because Malfoy's didn't court mudbloods. He was worried I was dating Hermione. You weren't even on his radar because he would never fathom his son being queer," Draco sighed and had a hard time saying the last part. It came out almost as a whisper.
"You know, as long as we weren't affectionate in public places, we could still be together. Your father would just think we were friends. If you say he'd never fathom you being gay, he'd never even suspect," I pointed out hopefully, trying so hard to get him back.
"I thought of that. I really did. But he doesn't understand too much why you'd be my friend."
"Did he say that? Did you tell him we were friends?"
"I had to say we were friends because we were spotted at The Three Broomsticks by a friend of my father's. He wasn't mad, per say. He was just confused as to why you'd befriend me. I told him we agreed that the past was the past. He was actually a little happy because he said a friendship with you was good PR for us," Draco laughed somewhat bitterly.
"Well see, there you go. It's perfect then. We can be together and no one has to know what we do in private. Just us," I said, reaching over to touch his arm.
He let me touch it and closed his eyes, and I swear he was relishing my touch. But then he opened his eyes again and moved his arm away and said to stop.
"Harry, just don't go there. I-I'm not ready to be with you," he said trying to be gentle, but my feelings still got hurt.
"I don't know why. We like each other. A lot. And that day at the swimming hole? We were electric together. It was amazing. And don't try to tell me it wasn't," I said defensively, trying to get him to see the light.
"I know it was. God, I remember it. I was there. It was the best moment of my life. Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you?" he said rubbing his temples, like the entire thing was giving him a headache.
"I don't know how long, but you could do it again. I'd let you. And no one can see us. We're totally alone. No spies. Just us," I said softly, moving closer to him.
"Harry, doesn't it bother you that I want Hermione too?" he tossed out to try and get me to back down. But it didn't work.
"No, because I think if you had to choose, you'd pick me. And also, she doesn't want you, but I do. So I kind of win out. So no, it doesn't bother me that you want Hermione. Maybe you're bisexual and not gay, but so what? As long as you want me, I don't care who else you might want," I said boldly and sincerely.
He laughed slightly.
"If she ever gives me an opening, I'm taking it," he told me.
"Fine. She won't."
"But if she does…"
"Then take it. But I'm giving you an opening now. You know you want me," I said confidently, which was not something I usually was when it came to Draco or my feelings for him. But someone had to be bold and not afraid. And this time, it had to be me.
"You're terrible. You're trying to talk me into dastardly things. Soon you'll be introducing me to crack and hookers," he chuckled softly.
"Shut up. There's nothing dastardly about being with me. It's just a little unconventional to old stuffy types like your father. But what he doesn't know, won't hurt him. Or you," I said, moving even closer so that our knees were touching as we sat on the floor facing each other. I took his hands and held them and he didn't stop me. I picked up his hand and kissed it gently. "I really, really like you Draco. Don't you get it? We could be happy."
It took him a minute to respond to me, but he finally did. And he responded by grabbing my hands tighter and pulling me over to him and planting a kiss on my lips. This kiss started out gentle and then soon grew passionate and rough. God, he was an amazing kisser. I've never kissed anyone that was so zealous and uninhibited. He claimed confusion, but his kisses said he knew what he wanted and that was me. I returned the fervor and we wrapped our arms around each other and kept kissing. We fell over into the stack of pillows lying on the floor from the couch and Draco pulled me on top of him. Then he removed my glasses and set them aside, as he smoothed my hair out of my face and just stared me deep in the eyes.
"You're such a good looking bloke. Did you know that? How hot you are?" he murmured to me as he kissed my forehead and then both of my cheeks before kissing my lips again.
"Not many people have told me that," I admitted softly and honestly. "But I think it's you who's the hot one. You're so sexy I get excited just seeing you walk into a room."
"You're excited now. I can tell." He said, biting my neck softly and smothering it with kisses.
"Hmm… you're pretty excited right now too," I murmured back at him. I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh, and we were both rock hard for each other.
"God what am I doing? I said I wouldn't do this anymore," he chided himself as he ran his hand down my arms.
"You're not very good at self-control. And we haven't even drank anything yet. We never got that far. Imagine what you'd do if you had a few," I said, as I kissed the side of his neck and ran my tongue over the sensitive flesh.
He made an audible gasping sound and then he moaned, which honestly nearly made me lose it in my pants. Just hearing his moans was enough to set me off. But thankfully I had a little more control than a horny thirteen year old, but not much.
"I want to fuck you, Draco. Don't you want to fuck me?" I asked boldly, whispering in his ear.
"Harry…damn it. Why are you saying this to me?" he asked closing his eyes tightly.
"Because it's true. And I can tell you want me too. It's pretty obvious. I want to get you drunk and fuck you senseless," I told him, giving him a deep kiss so he couldn't say anything just yet to protest me.
"God, I do wanna fuck you. I've wanted nothing else since the day at the watering hole. But I can't. I just fucking can't," he said, stopping our love in momentarily and sitting up, but I was still in his lap basically.
"Why not? Like I said, no one will see us," I told him as I tried to kiss him again.
"I'm afraid if we fuck, I'll fall in love. I can't fall in love with you, Potter. I just can't," he said, moving away from my kisses and trying to scoot me off his lap.
"I'm already in love with you, Malfoy. I can't fucking help it. You did something to me and now you're all I think of. I need you," I said truthfully. Suddenly I wasn't shy anymore and I just knew I needed to tell him everything. I needed him to know how fucking serious I was about him because I wasn't sure I could live without him anymore already, and we had only kissed a few times. What would it be like if we did shag? I'd never be able to leave his side. But I didn't want to.
"This isn't part of the friendship agreement," he laughed slightly as he leaned over and nibbled my earlobe.
I closed my eyes in ecstasy and took a sharp breath in.
"I'm changing the terms. We can be friends with benefits. And I like the benefits part a lot," I admitted as I ran my hands over his chest and I could feel his heart beating quickly underneath my fingertips.
"Friends with benefits eh? I've never had one of those, surprisingly enough. Mostly I just shag and run. What makes you so sure I won't do the same to you?" he asked breathlessly.
"Because you already said you could fall in love with me. And I know you will. If you just give us a shot, I know I could make you happy," I told him sincerely as I grabbed his hair and pulled him in for another wild kiss.
Just then I heard a noise and a little giggle and we both broke apart and looked up to see Hermione creeping slowly through the living room. She was actually tiptoeing.
"Hermione? What are you doing?" I asked with some slight annoyance because I didn't want this make out session to end before I got somewhere good with it.
"I'm trying to get a Coke. I didn't know you guys would be making out. I'm sorry! I'll hurry and leave," she said apologetically, still stifling a giggle.
"What's so funny?" I asked her with confusion.
"Nothing. It's just I've never seen two blokes kiss in real life. It's kind of hot," she giggled and covered her face.
"Hot eh? You wanna come join us?" Draco drawled as he gave her his best sexy look.
Part of me was angry he'd ask her that, but another part of me just thought it was funny because I knew she'd never do it. But I knew Draco wanted her too, so this would be like his dream come true if she did say yes.
"What would you do if I said yes?" she teased him and batted her eyes.
"I'd say, get your cute ass over here and join the fun," he smiled at her widely.
"She's not joining us!" I chimed in and pleaded with Hermione to just hurry up and go with my eyes.
"But what if she really wants to? I don't want to deprive a sweet girl what she wants," Draco said undressing Hermione with his eyes.
I'll admit it. I was fucking jealous. Like overly so. I said I wouldn't be, but I was. I had just declared my love for him and how much I wanted him, and now he was trying to get Hermione in bed with us. I was feeling bold tonight, but not that bold.
"Dream on, Malfoy. Never gonna happen. I don't do three ways," Hermione said with a laugh. "In fact, these days, I don't do two ways either just because I can't find anyone suitable," she added with a sigh.
"I'm suitable," he said with a grin.
"Yeah, okay. You're making out with my best friend on my living room floor and you think that makes you appealing to me?" she scoffed.
"I think you're highly curious about what it'd be like to just jump in the middle of this. Your wheels are turning," he told her.
"No they aren't!"
I didn't like this conversation and really just wanted Hermione to get her drink and leave. So I voiced that opinion.
"Um, Hermione just wants to get a drink and go back upstairs. Leave her alone, okay? Then we can go back to what we were doing,"
"Is that what you want, Hermione? To just go back upstairs and leave us down here making out without you?" he asked giving her a good seductive look.
"Yes, that's what I want. You're awful, Draco. You're trying to get me interested while you've got Harry sitting on your lap. How do you think that makes him feel?" she asked, and I was relieved she understood my plight.
"Harry doesn't mind. We have an arrangement. I already told him you were fair game. It's cool," Draco said casually.
But it really wasn't cool with me. I was upset. And I never really ever said I didn't care he liked Hermione. It was more of a case that I knew the feeling wasn't mutual so it didn't seem very threatening. But right at this moment, it did feel threatening. And Draco was being sort of a pig again.
"Even if Harry doesn't mind, I do. So just forget it," she scoffed and walked through the room and went to the kitchen.
Draco sighed and shook his head.
"Do you know how hot it'd be to have a threesome with her? My god. I think I'd die."
"You really want a threesome? For real?" I asked with some deflation of my good mood.
"I'd do it, that's for sure," he said simply.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"But what about fucking just me? Would you do that? You never answered me."
"I don't know. Maybe. I don't know, Harry."
"Why are you being all weird now? We were having a hot time and now that Hermione walked in the room, you're all strange now. I don't get you," I said with exasperation.
Just then, Hermione came back out with a Coke in her hands. She tried to breeze past without interrupting us, but Draco just ignored me and focused on her.
"Last chance to jump on in here," he called out to her.
She just flipped him off but he was having none of that. He laughed and shoved me off his lap and got up to grab her playfully. But she screamed and tried to run away from him and he just grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him.
"I'm going to corrupt you! You know you want me and Harry both. It'll be hot. You'll see," he said trying not to laugh.
"Let me go! God you're horrible!" she cried, but her laughter tipped us off that she was having fun. And I just seethed with anger. This was NOT how I envisioned this night when Draco and I were making out. But Hermione's presence was running it all. I loved my best friend, and it wasn't her fault, but right now I wish a big bird would fly in the window and just carry her away or something. Anything to get rid of her and get her away from Draco. But they playfully kept wrestling around and he picked her up and threw her on the couch and then jumped on her himself. He was straddling her and threatening to kiss her, but she kept saying no and then he asked me to help him.
"Harry, you kiss her! She wants you anyways!" he laughed to me.
"I'm not in the mood to play games, Draco. Stop it and just let her go," I said flatly trying to hide my annoyance.
"Oh Harry, it's just a spot of fun. Draco is being silly. I'm sure he doesn't really want a threesome. He's being a pain in the ass," Hermione said, trying to make me feel better.
"I bet he really does want one. And I'm not sure where that leaves me," I said somewhat dejectedly.
"It leaves you being part of the best sex fest of the year," Draco informed me.
"I was thinking of a smaller sex fest with less people," I admitted.
"You can go wank off if you want to, but Hermione and I are having fun," he said, diving into Hermione's neck and kissing it roughly and playfully.
I was sick to my stomach. I hated this. I hated both of them right now. She was playing into it and he was the one who started it. But she did finally shove him back and she threatened to dump her Coke on his head if he didn't keep his lips off her. He just found it funny, but off my hurt expression he decided to kiss me quickly, but passionately. And then he smiled and kissed Hermione before either of us really knew what he was doing.
"Draco, what are you doing?" Hermione asked, pushing him back.
"Sorry, I was just acting on my lustful feelings. I wanted to see what it'd be like to kiss you both."
"Well I don't want to kiss you, so stop," Hermione told him giving me an apologetic look.
"Right now, I don't want to kiss you either. You're being annoying," I told him. "We were having a nice time and then you ruined it."
"Who ruined it? Me? Or Hermione?" Draco asked me.
"Hermione didn't do anything but walk in the room! Don't lay this on her."
"Yeah, don't lay this on me. In fact, stop laying on me altogether. Get off me, Draco," she said, suddenly realizing he was still straddling her and she could now see how upset it was making me.
"I don't wanna get off you," he said with a devious grin.
"Fine. Want some of my Coke?" she asked as she opened it up and it exploded in Draco's face. She knew it had been jostled and shaken up from all the playful attacking each other and she drenched him. It was rather hilarious to see his Coke covered face.
"You little bitch!" he laughed and grabbed the can out of her hands and poured it on her face. She screamed again and shoved him back and off of her until he landed almost on top of me on the floor.
"You totally had that coming, Malfoy!" I laughed right along with Hermione who was trying to wipe her face off.
"Attack him Harry!" Hermione said as she jumped off the couch and jumped on Draco's back.
"Attack him how? I don't have my wand with me!" I said frantically.
"I didn't mean attack him with your wand, I just meant tickle him or something! He deserves to pay for dumping a Coke on me!"
"Oh, tickle him. I'll do that!" I said deviously as Draco looked panicked. Apparently he was quite ticklish.
And I really went to town on his sides and his ribs and he was laughing and flailing around with Hermione still on his back and he was trying to run away from me, but Hermione was weighing him down. She was assaulting him with tickles under his arms and I had his sides, and it looked like he was going to freak out at any second. He finally got away from me and flung Hermione off his back and onto the couch, but we both just chased after him around the living room. But he had his wand and he pulled it out and aimed it at us.
"Okay no more tickling! Draco does not like to be tickled! I will end both of you!" he threatened us.
"Now he's talking about himself in the third person," I laughed slightly and Hermione giggled. "He must really mean business."
"Draco doesn't like to be tickled," Hermione mocked him and tried to stifle her giggles.
"I'm dead serious. I will turn you both into frogs if you don't stop tickling me!" he shouted, but his devious smile gave away the fact that he was in fact enjoying himself. Even if he probably didn't wish to be tickled anymore.
"We'll stop if you'll stop this nonsense about a threesome," I told him seriously.
"Yeah, I'm not shagging anyone, much less both of you at the same time. This isn't a porno," Hermione scoffed as she crossed her arms and stared him down.
"Alright, alright. I get it. I was really just playing," he held up his hands.
"No you weren't. You were serious. Don't try to backpedal now," I said giving him a dirty look.
"Well okay, so I was serious. But I can see no one else is on board so I'll shut up. But I have to admit, I'm not sure which one of you is the better kisser," he added, probably just to piss me off.
"My kissing skills are quite good. But you stole that kiss from me! I didn't want to kiss you," Hermione told him and gave me an apologetic look.
"Then imagine how good you'd be if you wanted to kiss me," Draco grinned.
"What about me? I'm still standing here. Aren't I a good kisser too?" I piped up.
"You're very good, Harry," Hermione smiled at me, and I'd almost forgotten we'd kissed before.
"Yes, you are good, Harry," Draco agreed.
"My god, we've all kissed each other. This is so weird," Hermione said shaking her head in disbelief.
"It is kind of weird," I agreed.
"I think it's hot. Don't you all think it's hot?" Draco wondered.
"Ugh. I'm going to clean myself up and get rid of this Coke all over me. You and Harry go back to what you were doing and just forget me. Please. I beg of you. I just want to take a hot bath and get back to my book," Hermione said giving me a nudge and a smile, trying really hard to be a good friend to me. I knew she felt badly that her presence sort of fucked up my game, but it was her house too. She had every right to go get a drink when she wanted one. I should have taken Draco to my room instead.
"Fine, leave. But you'll be missing out. And the offer still stands if you change your mind," Draco told her, refusing to give up.
"Goodnight you two."
"Goodnight Hermione."
"Goodnight. Don't say I didn't warn you that you missed out on something amazing!" Draco called after her.
But she just disappeared up the stairs and I was thankful to have her out of the room. I looked at Draco who still had Coke in his hair and his face appeared all sticky.
"Do you want to wash up in the bathroom? It's down the hall and to the left," I instructed him.
"Yeah, I better. I can't believe she doused me with Coke. Little vixen," he chuckled to himself and took off down the hallway.
I just sat on the floor and held my face in my hands. I didn't know what was happening or what would happen, if anything. The moment was kind of lost. I wasn't sure if we could get it back again, or if Draco even wanted to get it back. He was so difficult to understand and he was driving me batty already and we'd barely made a go of things. He was a puzzle I wanted to solve though. I just didn't know if he wanted me to solve him or not.
When he got out of the bathroom his hair was all wet and slicked back and his face no longer seemed a sticky mess. But I noted the hair looked like early Draco circa twelve years old and I made a joke about it.
"I don't know if I can stand you with that slicked back hair. It's like you're back at Hogwarts teasing me again," I noted with a small smile.
"My hair always starts out looking like this but then it dries and falls into my face. I don't use gel anymore," He chuckled back.
"Well I like what it usually looks like. It's pretty hot," I admitted.
"Thanks Potter."
"So now that Hermione's gone, should we go back to discussing what's happening between us?" I blurted out, not willing to wait any longer.
"I rather thought you would have had enough of my antics by now. Does nothing scare you off?" he wondered curiously.
"You did all that to scare me off?"
"Not entirely, but I kind of figured it would have that effect on you, yeah."
"Did you want it to scare me away?"
"Kind of."
"I don't understand you. One minute things are great and the next minute you want them stopped? Make up your mind," I told him somewhat angrily.
"I can't make up my mind! Don't you see?"
"You're almost bi-polar or something. Hot one minute, cold the next. It doesn't make any real sense!" I said with exasperation.
"I never claimed to make sense. Look, I enjoyed our little make out sesh a lot, but I think I'm over it now," he shrugged.
"Like hell," I said without thinking and I just grabbed him into another kiss and shove him against the wall.
He didn't even try to protest, which made me think this is what he wanted all along. He just probably didn't think I had the balls to do it. And a week ago, I wouldn't have. But I'd found my confidence again when it came to him. And he couldn't drag me down. I refused to let him just shrug away our time together. I was growing ever more bold as the days passed and it was a side of me I hadn't quite seen before. Confidence when it came to relationships. That was a new thing Harry-wise and I'd have to get used to it. I just felt confident because of the things he'd already said to me, even if I questioned at times if he really meant them or not.
But he played into this kiss and grabbed me up tighter and my hands roamed his body, as my lips broke free of his and traveled down the side of his neck. He kept his eyes closed and murmured my name softly. It was music to my ears to know I had this power over the great Draco Malfoy. He was helpless against my kisses, and when I finally broke free to look at him, he had a dreamy look in his eyes.
"You really over the make out session now?" I asked breathlessly into his ear.
"Hmm, I wasn't quite as over it as I thought," he smiled almost shyly and grabbed me this time and we flew back onto the couch. I landed roughly on top of him and he kissed me feverishly.
It was so good, that I swore if anyone came walking through the living room this time, I'd just curse them instantly without even asking who it was. Of course I didn't have my wand with me still. But I'd borrow Draco's. Anything to stop someone else from intruding. And I wondered how far he was prepared to take this. His hands were roaming, just like mine were, but they never went near the promised land. I think we were both too nervous and shy to do that. But someone was going to have to eventually, right? So I decided it should be me. I reached down and stuck my hand on top of Draco's erection, even though it was over his clothes. I wasn't quite ready to go inside his pants yet. But I touched him over his trousers and it felt like heaven. So hard and so big in my hand. I wanted to put it in my mouth. But before I could form a coherent fantasy, Draco pulled back and away from me.
"Whoa. Slow down a little," he said somewhat awkwardly.
"Slow down? I wasn't doing anything much," I explained softly.
"Yeah, well it was a little too much for me. I need you to stop," he said more firmly, and I could tell he was on the verge of a freak out. He was panicking. I'd gone too far and now he was having a panic attack. I didn't even know Draco Malfoy could have one of those. But he could. And he was.
He was breathing heavy and not from excitement and he was clutching at his chest like he was having a heart attack.
"Oi, I think I'm dying," he said with terror in his eyes.
"It's just a panic attack. I've had one before. It's gonna be okay," I told him soothingly.
"A bloody panic attack? I don't get panic attacks," he scoffed, rubbing his neck and breathing too rapidly. "I think I'm going to pass out."
"You'd rather believe you were dying that believe it was a panic attack," I asked with a small smile as I rubbed his back gently.
"It'd be manlier to be dying than having an anxiety attack. But to die in your arms, I think my father would reach into the afterlife and kill me again. Promise you won't let me die while sucking your dick or something. Dress me back up and pretend I was just having dinner or something okay" he told me frantically, clutching at my shirt.
"Okay, okay. But I wouldn't worry about that. You're not gonna die. And your dad is not going to find anything out. You're safe here."
"You must think I'm such a prat huh? I'm all talk. I talk a good game, like I'd do anything or fuck anyone and here I am having a panic attack over the idea of us together. You can't tell anyone, Potter! My whole life is built on the premise of me being a prick who sleeps around and does anything and anyone. I can't ruin my reputation," he pleaded with me.
"I knew it was all just an act. On the inside you're more scared than me. You just tried to pretend you weren't," I said, giving him a small kiss on the forehead.
"It mostly is an act. Some of it's real. But a lot of stuff I just say it or do it to be shocking," he admitted softly.
"Well it works. Most of the time anyway. Sometimes I just know you're full of shit," I grinned slightly.
"Like when?"
"Like the whole threesome thing. I know you'd never do it. You'd freak the fuck out if Hermione and I got naked and said, 'come at us, big boy!'" I laughed.
"Shut up. I wouldn't freak the fuck out if that happened. In fact, that would be less confusing. Because I could be very focused on Hermione and you'd just be a bonus naked person in the mix."
"A bonus naked person? Thanks a lot!" I scoffed, feeling hurt by his reaction even if he was slightly playing with me. But the truth was, he'd feel better if there was a girl in the mix and not just me to focus on, because he didn't want to accept the gay part of himself. And that hurt me, even if it was less about me and more about his own hang ups.
"I'd be happy you were there and naked! Don't get me wrong. It's just it'd be easier with Hermione. I know what to do with her," he admitted.
"And you don't know what to do with me, is that it?" I asked curiously.
"Not exactly. I mean, I'm not daft. I know what we're supposed to do. I just don't know if I'm ready for the entirety of that," he admitted.
"I thought you said a blowie was a blowie? You'd let someone do that no matter who they were," I pointed out.
"I did say that. And I meant that. But wouldn't you expect one back?" he wondered quietly.
"I'd like one back, sure. But you don't have to. I'm perfectly willing to give and not receive if that makes you more comfortable," I said sincerely. I would love nothing more than to receive love from him, but if he was too nervous or scared, it was okay. I could understand it and look past it.
"Let's just not go there, okay. I-I can't go there right now. In fact, I should just go home," he said standing up from the couch and smoothing down his clothes.
"Wait! If you go now, am I going to see you again?" I wondered.
"Of course. You see me at work," he smiled slightly.
"That's not what I meant. I meant, actually see you. We're supposed to be friends, remember?"
"I remember, although it's you who seemed to have forgotten that. Attacking me with your lips like that," he scolded me playfully.
"I seem to remember you attacking right back," I reminded him.
"Well I've had enough for one night. I really should go," he said solemnly.
"We never even had a drink," I recalled trying to keep him here longer.
"Raincheck."
"Okay."
"It was a fun evening," he said coming over to me and brushing the hair out of my eyes.
"It was fun," I agreed.
And with that he just stepped back and apparated out of the house and left me wanting on the couch. Yep, he was a puzzle. He lived to drive me insane, I suspect. And he certainly knew how to be a tease. I just laid my head on the side of the couch and sighed. Hermione peeked her head down the stairs just then and asked if I was alone.
"Afraid so," I called up after her.
She came walking down slowly and saw me moping.
"I heard the cracking sound when Draco left. I wasn't sure what happened. I expected him to stay longer," she said as she came and sat down next to me and played with my hair.
"I thought he'd stay longer too, but I think I freaked him out. I touched him in a personal area and he literally had a panic attack and started talking about his father finding him dead with my dick in his mouth. It was a disaster. He's really scared of his dad," I lamented.
"Well one day he won't be. He'll learn to stand up for himself and what he wants," she said soothingly.
"Eh, I don't know. He's afraid to lose the money. He told me he's really afraid of his father," I explained to her.
"I'd be afraid of him too. But Draco's a grown man," she protested.
"That's what I said! But apparently he's a grown man who still needs his daddy's money really bad."
"I think he's just making excuses. He's scared. He's a scared little prat. And I'm sorry he's playing with your emotions. I warned you though. That's why I didn't want him to be our friend. I knew you'd want more and I was right," she said.
"I know, you were right. I do want more. And I thought I'd gotten to the root of his problem with his dad, but it didn't really help for very long."
"I'm sorry. Maybe he's just not the right one? He's so strange, really. All that talk about a threesome? Please," Hermione scoffed.
"It was kind of funny though, when I think back on it," I admitted halfheartedly.
"You were so mad, Harry. I could tell. That's why I tried to put an end to it all."
"I know. You tried. But you seemed to be having fun for a while," I admitted with some annoyance.
She sighed.
"Okay, so it was kind of fun for me for a while. But not when I realized you were getting angry. I thought it was just Draco screwing around. I certainly never took his offer seriously!" she assured me.
"I know that. It's just he likes you. And I know why. If I weren't this way, I'd feel the same for you," I told her with a small smile.
"I'm flattered. But you don't have to say that. We're friends. And I know we'll only just be friends. But I love you, Harry. I hate seeing you sad," she ruffled my hair slightly.
"I hate being sad."
"Just forget about Draco."
"I'll try."
But I knew I wasn't going to be able to do that. It was impossible. He was inside me now. Worming his way into my heart. And I couldn't ever let him go without a fight.
To be continued….