Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. JK Rowling and company own them. I merely play with them for my own amusement. Please don't sue. I have nothing of value anyway.
Summary: Harry is caught in a love triangle to rival all else. He's found himself questioning his sexuality and is owning up to his attraction to Draco Malfoy. Meanwhile Draco is cozying up to Hermione, who won't give him the time of day. And Hermione keeps thinking there's hope for her and Harry to have a future together. It's a tangled web of emotions and will anyone get what they want? Set a couple of years after Hogwarts ended. Told from Harry's POV. Drarry, with undertones of Dramione.
Three is a Crowd
Once I apparated away, I didn't know where to go. I went back home at first, but I didn't want to stay there alone. It seemed pathetic. So I decided to apparate to the gay bar Draco introduced me to. I figured if he and Hermione were going to have a fun evening together, maybe I should be in my own atmosphere where I belonged. It was good this time to go and not feel like such an outsider the way I did tonight. Of course I didn't actually know anyone at this gay bar. But at least I could call them my people. So I walked inside and a lot of people were dressed up in costumes there too, to celebrate Halloween. There was a sign that offered 'Spooktacular' drink specials and I decided to order a whiskey sour they featured just to be a little different. It came with a cherry in it and seemed like something a gay man might drink. Which of course, two men next to me ordered whiskey neat and another ordered a tequila shot, so there really was no stereotyping drinks. But let's just say it made me feel like I was waving a rainbow flag with my little cherry bobbing along in my drink. And it didn't take all that long before a guy dressed as a cowboy sat next to me. He was cute, granted. But he was no Draco Malfoy. But he said his name was Rob and he offered to buy me another drink, but I'd barely finished the one I had. So I downed it quickly and slammed it on the bar and let him order me a new one. Why not? Only I didn't really fancy him. I noticed as he talked that he had a missing tooth and it turned me straight off. I excused myself and thanked him for the drink and then I disappeared into the crowd.
I hoped he would take the hint, and he seemed to. He didn't follow me. But another guy sidled up to me and asked me to dance. I held up my hands at first in protest to say no, but he was dressed as a fireman and even cuter than the Rob guy. I figured I might as well dance since I was there. So we went to the floor and he said his name was Chad. He asked me what I was dressed as and I told him I was a Quidditch star without thinking and he looked very confused. I had to tell him it was a pretend sport I just made up for the costume, and he seemed happy with that. Sometimes I forget to hold my tongue around Muggles. Chad said he always wanted to be a firefighter except he was really a tax accountant. That was more boring that my fake Muggle job of insurance sales. But we got along okay. We danced innocently at first and then Chad started grinding on me and telling me how cute I was. Honestly it was hot, but I kept thinking of Draco. And Draco he was not. I wanted to know what the hell Draco and Hermione were doing right now and if it was as lust filled as this dance I was having with Chad. But I tried to get them out of my memory and just concentrate on the hot guy I was with, who had all his teeth. But the song ended and he said he was going to the loo, and I just decided to leave. I know I probably could have had him easily, but I couldn't do it. My maiden voyage at sucking dick happened only hours before and I couldn't fathom doing it again with some random in a bar. Not that I didn't want to do it again. I did. Just with Draco and not Chad. So I slipped out the back into the alley and went home.
I noted when I got there that the place was still dark and I'd only been at the bar for an hour or so. Obviously Hermione didn't rush right home after me, so that meant she stayed at the party and did what I told her to do. And that was to have fun with Draco. I moped my way upstairs and took off my Quidditch robes and put my pajama bottoms on and a t-shirt. I crawled into bed and turned on my telly. I flipped through the channels until I found a good horror movie to watch and I sat up in bed and watched as people got hacked to death with a machete. It kind of felt like my heart right now, so it seemed apropos. But after about fifteen minutes of good slasher action I heard the unmistakable sound of someone apparating into the downstairs living room. It was too loud to be outside. So I figured it was Hermione, which made me glad. At least she bothered to come home. But after another moment or so I heard voices on the stairs and I realized she wasn't alone. My door was open and I got up to shut it, but I wanted to peek out and see if she was with Draco. Who else would she be with? Was she taking him to her bed? Ugh. Just fucking kill me now. But when I peeked my head out, I saw Draco and Hermione standing on the landing coming towards my room. I couldn't fathom why they'd be doing that, but they started running and almost tripped and fell as they both tackled me into a hug.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, being squished by both of them.
"Harry, you're here!" Hermione cried as she kissed my cheek.
"Of course I'm here. Is that so strange?"
"We came here straight off and you weren't here. We didn't know where you'd run off to. Hermione here was worried for you," Draco said as he let me go and stood there somewhat awkwardly at the display of affection they'd both given me.
"Oh. I went someplace else. But now I'm here. Why are you two here? I told you to have fun!" I chided them, even if I was rather grateful that they came after me after all. I didn't think they would. Or rather, I didn't think Draco would.
"I was so worried we'd pissed you off. You seemed so sad. I didn't want you to leave like that," Hermione said with her words slightly slurred. She'd drank a lot more than I remembered or noticed. And I was surprised Draco hadn't taken advantage of that.
"I said it was fine to let you go, but she wasn't having any of that. Wouldn't even let me stay and drink more!" Draco said giving her a playful glare.
"Oh stop, you were concerned too. You said you'd gone too far. You felt like a shithead," Hermione told him, which pleased me.
"Hermione, that's one of those things I told you in secret. Not to be shared with Harry," he sighed.
"He deserves to know you care. He actually did care a little," Hermione drunkenly told me.
"Well I'm fine you guys. No worries. I was just watching a horror flick on the telly," I said trying to put them at ease.
"Oh yay! Can I watch with you?" Hermione asked excitedly, jumping up and down.
"Oi, she's had a lot to drink, Potter. You deal with her," Draco said as Hermione looked around at both of us with glassy eyes.
"You can watch the movie with me, but only if you get undressed from your costume. Can you do that?" I asked her gently.
She nodded and smiled at me.
"I'll be right back!"
"You need any help with that zipper or anything else on your person?" Draco called after her.
"Nope! Go away Draco!"
"See? That's why I said you could deal with her. Birds are supposed to get all sexy and freaky when they're drunk. But Hermione just laughs too much at nothing. And she stole an entire bowl of candy from Blaise's party! Who does that? Did she grow up poor?" Draco asked with annoyance.
"No she didn't grow up poor! And if she did, so what? She likes chocolates. She gave all our candy away," I said with a sigh.
"I didn't mean to make you miss the party," Draco said finally in a small voice. "I'm sorry I pissed you off."
"I'm sorry I got in the way of you and Hermione," I admitted in just as small a voice.
"You didn't. Not really. I mean, it's my bloody fault. I keep after both of you. Actually you keep after me and I let you. I'm the one chasing her. And it's all just a big fucking mess. I don't know what to say or do," he held up his hands in defeat.
"I don't either. Maybe if none of us can decide, maybe we really should just be friends. Like for real. Not friends who suck each other's dicks and make out. But real friends."
"We could try. But I kinda like the part where you suck my dick and I get to make out with Hermione after. It's like a dream come true," he grinned at me.
"Fuck you. I'm being serious here! We can't keep doing it like that," I said adamantly.
"Alright, alright. I know. We can try to be friends. It's not going to be easy for any of us though. Trust me."
Just then, Hermione came out of her room dressed in her pajamas that had little owls all over them and they were bright pink. Draco took one look at her and couldn't help but laugh. But it was an affectionate sort of laugh. He held her face in his hands and grinned at her.
"My God, you're adorable," he told her sincerely. Then off my coughing fit, he looked at me then sighed. "But Harry thinks I'm not supposed to say shit like that anymore. So never mind."
"I don't look adorable?" she asked with a pouty lip.
Draco looked at me and implored me with his eyes. I just sighed and shrugged and he happily looked back at her.
"You're the most adorable woman in the world. Look at you in your fuzzy pink owl pajamas? Irresistible," he leaned down and kissed her cheeks. "Sorry Potter, it had to be done," he said to me afterwards.
"I give up," I muttered and grabbed Hermione's hand to lead her to my room to watch movies and Draco followed behind.
"Um, where are you going?" I asked him curiously, not remembering having invited him.
"I don't get to stay and watch horror movies with you guys?" he asked, genuinely hurt and put out by the snub.
"I didn't think you'd wanna stay. Hermione's drunk and I'm not sucking your dick during it. I figured you'd be bored."
"Pfft. I'll decide when I'm bored. And I'd like to hop in that big bed of yours and watch people get murdered," he said breezing past me and taking off his cape and shoes and throwing his suit jacket on my chair. Then he jumped right in the middle of the bed and held out his arms.
"I'm in the middle!" he exclaimed and I just rolled my eyes. This man would in fact be the death of me.
But Hermione happily climbed in the bed and I climbed in after her and Draco draped his arms around both of us.
"Now this is the life," he said smugly.
"You imagine yourself as some sort of quasi gay Hugh Hefner don't you? Like we're your playmates just huddled around you," I noted with a scathing glare in his direction, but it should have been directed at myself because I was the one snuggling under his arm along with Hermione. We were both letting him act out this fantasy, so it was our fault. But he was loving it.
"I am rather like Hugh Hefner, minus all the Viagra he needs. But I can keep more than one bird, or bloke, happy. That's why monogamy doesn't suit me. Why tie yourself down to one person when you can have more?" he asked.
"You're a pig," I informed him.
"Yeah, you're a pig," Hermione backed me up. But then she started giggling and reaching into her bag she'd brought that was filled with candy. "I'm kind of a pig too because I'm totally going to eat all this chocolate myself," she said to no one in particular. I don't even think she was paying attention to what Draco said.
"How much did she drink after I left? She wasn't this far gone before," I asked Draco curiously.
"Well we did leave almost straight off. But when we couldn't find you, we went back to the party and she had some Jagerbombs. I begged her not to, but then again I thought I might get lucky, so I let her go. She was so mad at herself for supposedly hurting your feelings, that she wanted to drown her sorrows. But I stopped her after three of those and made her come home," He explained.
"I see. And I bet you were kinda pissed I was here, weren't you?"
"No, you ninny. I was glad. Did you not enjoy the group hug experience we gave you?" he asked giving me a look.
"Well I rather thought I messed up your plans to get Hermione in the sack, since she might be drunk enough," I explained.
"Nah, I have a limit. A girl can be drunk, but she can't be stupid drunk. Hermione is stupid drunk. She'd probably hate herself or kill me tomorrow or both. I want the girl to know what the fuck she's doing when she's fucking me."
"How very noble of you," I mocked him with a smirk.
"Fuck you. At least I have some standards. Not all men can say the same," he scoffed.
"True. I do have to say I'm surprised you wouldn't take advantage of her."
"Never. I use things to my advantage sometimes, but I never take advantage. There's a difference. Get her drunk enough to kiss me, and that's okay. But get her so drunk she doesn't know her own name, then I leave her alone. I'm not a rapist."
"I never said you were!"
"I know but you fucking implied I might be!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes, you kind of did."
"Well sorry. I didn't mean to."
"Can you both shut the fuck up? I'm trying to watch the movie!" Hermione interjected, not even listening to what we were saying or that I was defending her honor. She was just very focused on her chocolates and the movie. It was kind of cute. Even if I'm gay I can notice that. No wonder Draco couldn't resist her.
"What movie is this anyway?" Draco asked, leaning over closer to my ear.
"It's Friday the Thirteenth part five hundred or something. I don't know which one."
"I was never that much for slasher flicks. I enjoy a good suspense thriller though. The kind that really fucks with your mind," Draco told me quietly, so as not to interrupt Hermione's viewing pleasure.
"Me too. I like those the best," I agreed. "But on Halloween, I'll watch a slasher film just for fun."
"We never celebrated Halloween when I was a kid. My parents said it made fun of witches like we had warts and big noses. But now that I'm an adult it's just fun to dress up in costumes and drink a lot."
"I never celebrated Halloween either. My cousin Dudley got to trick or treat and I had to stay at home and hand out candy. But I wasn't even allowed to eat any except one piece of it. I used to horde it in my cupboard and pray my aunt and uncle never found my stash," I laughed slightly.
"That sucks, Potter."
"Yeah, it did. But oh well. Now I can eat as much candy as I want to," I announced as I grabbed Hermione's candy bag and took it for myself.
"Hey! That's mine!" she protested.
"Sharing is caring, my dear. Plus you can't eat all this. You'll puke. And you're not puking in my bed!" I warned her.
"Oh alright. Have some. I stole the whole bowl! Did Draco tell you that? The entire bowl!" she giggled her little head off and I couldn't help but join in.
"I know. I heard what a sneaky thief you were. Naughty Hermione!"
"Yes, naughty, naughty Hermione. I should spank you," Draco said giving her a sexy look.
"Stop it you dork! You're not spanking me." She shoved him playfully away from her.
"She must still have some of her wits left."
I laughed at the two of them playing. And it didn't bother me. They could joke and I was fine. It was the thought of them actually wanting to be together that got to me. But either way it turned out, they were both with me now. And they had not run off into the sunset together. And I had to be thankful for that. Even if I still didn't really know where I stood.
"Oh! Oh! This is the best part! This girl is going to get her head chopped off, and it's only because she's naked. Rule number one of horror movies—if you're a girl, don't get naked! And don't be a cheerleader. Or a naked cheerleader. Or else you'll die," Hermione told us both.
"This is the best part? The naked bint gets her head chopped off and you call that the best part? You're one warped little chickadee," Draco laughed shoving her away from him playfully.
"I just meant it's scary! Not that I like seeing it. God, you don't get me, Draco," she lamented.
"No, I really don't. But that's okay. I love you anyways," he smiled at her.
"You don't love me. You wanna jump my bones, but you don't love me," she said seriously, suddenly not seeming as drunk.
"You got me there, love. I don't know what I feel. But you're pretty fucking special. You have a piece of my heart," he said holding his hand over his chest.
"And what about me huh?" I chimed in, feeling ill watching the two of them together.
"You have a piece too, Potter. But that's all I have to give. Pieces. It's not good enough for either one of you really," he said solemnly for once and then just looked back at the telly and didn't say anything more.
I thought of trying to make him talk more, but it seemed like he'd said enough. He felt like he didn't have a whole heart to offer anyone. Not even Hermione. Which meant I wasn't standing in the way of their love. But it also meant he could never love me either. Why was he so fucking broken and confused? I didn't know why, but I wanted to fix him. And when I looked at Hermione I could see her wheels turning and she snuggled down under his arm and closed her eyes and I was seeing that she probably wished she could fix him too. But neither of us probably could. So I just laid my head down on my pillow and tried to keep my distance. Draco's arm was still draped across the back of my pillow, but he wasn't touching me. But he did put his arm around Hermione and she did not stop him. Probably because she fell asleep. She was out cold. And it was just Draco and I lying there together with her tucked safely under his arm and I had no idea what to say to him. Nothing seemed appropriate. But if ever there was someone I wanted to save, it was him.
In the morning when I woke up, it was an interesting sight to see. We were a tangle of arms and legs and bodies pressed up against each other. Hermione and I both had our heads resting on Draco's chest and there was a bag of candy on his stomach. His arm was still locked around Hermione and the other arm was draped over the top of my head. I wiggled my way out from under his hand on my face and he didn't wake up. He just rolled over, smooshing the candy bag between him and Hermione and he wrapped his other arm around her. It was a peaceful scene, I had to say. Even if I was jealous. But I was the one who got up and out of the bed. If Hermione got up, then maybe it'd be me all cuddled up with him? But it wasn't. So I just decided to get something to eat and let them sleep longer. I knew they'd both had more to drink than I did. Especially Hermione. So I disappeared out of the bedroom and just left them alone. I figured it was safe. And I got a bowl of cereal to eat in the kitchen. It had been a strange night, that's for sure. But I suppose if we were going to try and really just be friends with Draco, things would simple up a lot. That was my hope anyway. But I still wanted him more. I wanted him more than ever because I did want to fix what was broken inside him that made him the way he was.
After a while of eating and drinking some coffee I'd made, I heard rustling upstairs. I knew it might have been Hermione's cat, but it sounded more like someone moving about the bedroom, so I figured I'd go upstairs and check on the coma twins. I'd left the door cracked when I walked out and when I approached I could hear muffled voices talking on the other side of the door. I stopped and eavesdropped because I was dying to know what Draco and Hermione talked about when I wasn't around.
"Did we actually, you know?" I heard Hermione ask Draco.
He laughed.
"In Harry's bed with him in it? I don't think so, love."
"Good. Oh god, my head hurts. You didn't tell him about the other thing did you? Or did I? I didn't did I?" she asked somewhat frantically and I wondered what the hell 'the other thing' was. But I had no idea. I hoped Draco would clue me in.
"I didn't tell him the other thing. I promised I wouldn't. And you kept your lips zipped. Which I thought for sure you'd told him the whole thing when you two lot were playing with me," he chuckled.
"No. He doesn't need to know what a terrible friend I am. I hate myself for it. God, and I hate you," she muttered. This was getting interesting. Did they shag before and not tell me? That's what it sounded like to me. And I seethed with anger as I listened intently.
"Why do you hate me? You seemed to like me okay when I was—"
"Don't even say the words!"
"Not saying the words doesn't make it not true."
"I know but I can't face it. Harry will kill me. Utterly murder me. And I can't have that. That's why I felt so badly and drank those stupid drinks. The bombs or whatever they were called? I wanted to die."
"Oh come on. It's not that bad. And if you want to die, then just tell Harry and let him murder you," he told her and I could already see the smirk on his face, even if I was just listening in.
I think at this point she hit him with the pillow because I heard a thumping sound and Draco saying ow. And for her to stop. But I couldn't get a visual. I thought about just bursting in there and asking why I'd murder her, but I was kind of afraid to know. And it seemed like Hermione was better at keeping secrets from me than I was at keeping them from her. I told that girl everything. And now she had some huge piece of the puzzle she was keeping secret. How could she do this to me?
"We should probably get up," I then heard Hermione say behind the door.
"Or we could stay and snuggle." Barf. Double barf. I didn't want to hear that.
But apparently Hermione must have agreed to the snuggling because the next thing I heard was muffled moans. That's when I decided it had to end. I opened the door and walked in just in time to watch the two of them kissing each other while Hermione lay on top of Draco. They weren't really counting on an audience but I cleared my voice loudly and they jumped apart.
"Harry! What are you doing in here?" Hermione asked as she scrambled to get herself off of Draco.
"It's my room, remember. And my bed. And I'd sort of appreciate it if you wouldn't make out with my boyfriend while you're in it," I shot back at her snidely.
"Your boyfriend?" she asked sadly.
"Your boyfriend? Are you mad?" Draco interjected. "I'm not your bloody boyfriend. I told you a thousand times, I'm your friend!"
"You weren't acting like my friend when I had your dick in my mouth last night!" I reminded him.
"Just shut up about that! That was a mistake."
"Yes, people make mistakes sometimes, Harry," Hermione interjected.
"And you? What exactly are you hiding from me? I overheard you! I know there's something I don't know!"
"No Harry. It's not like that." She held up her hands in protest.
"Yeah, it was really nothing," Draco chimed in.
"I'll be the judge of that," I told them both.
"I'm not telling you! It's something that happened before I knew all the facts. It's not happening again!" Hermione said shrilly.
I hated it when she got like that and my ears hated it too. Even Draco moved away from her. But I could tell she was panicked and that's how she reacts when she panics. I just sighed.
"Draco, then you tell me what happened," I looked at him.
"No way, mate. Hermione already wants me dead most of the time. No thanks," he held up his hands in defeat.
"Well I'm not leaving here until I know the truth. You guys fucked didn't you?" I asked pointedly.
"NO!" they both shouted in unison. Then Draco added, "We'll not really."
What the hell was that supposed to mean? And I asked them as much.
"It means she didn't touch me at all. And no important parts of mine touched hers. It was just like kissing," Draco said simply.
"Like kissing? So it wasn't kissing?" I was getting confused.
"It was slightly more than that," Hermione admitted with her face hidden behind her hands.
"I went down on her," Draco blurted out the truth.
"You did what? When?" I cried in disbelief, as Draco got a smack across the arm from Hermione for spilling their dirty little secret.
"It happened when we went for lipstick! I just told you we'd kissed because I didn't know how to admit what we really did. I knew you'd be hurt. And when you told me what you did to Draco, I just wanted to crawl into a hole even more."
"So you're saying that I went down on Draco and like ten minutes later he went down on you? Am I hearing this correctly?" I asked with utter confusion.
"Yes. Only I didn't know what happened until later or I wouldn't have let him!" Hermione cried.
"Alright. Okay. Fine. But why were you kissing him not five minutes ago in my bed?" I challenged her. If she was so damn guilty then why was she kissing him.
"I have no good answer for that except that Draco does something to me," she said in a small voice.
"I do have that charm," Draco smiled smugly and Hermione hit him with a pillow and I launched a slipper at his face. He was enjoying playing with both of our emotions way too much.
"You have zero charm working for you right now. Is this a game with you? I mean, honestly. Is it just a game?" I asked angrily wanting to know if we were all being played.
"It's not a game. I'm confused! You have no idea what it's like to fancy two completely different people. I mean one of them isn't even a girl. I don't know how to handle that! After I was with you Harry, I felt the need to manly myself up a little, so I sort of seduced Hermione's knickers off. It felt better. And I felt better. And I didn't really think about what it was going to do to you or your friendship with Hermione. I'm a jerk. Plain and simple. A confused really fucked up jerk with no heart. You were right to hate me all those years. I deserved it."
I thought on what he said for a moment and it seemed like Hermione was also thinking about what to say. She spoke before I did though. I couldn't seem to form words.
"Draco, what you did was deplorable. Not telling me what happened between you and Harry was terrible. But you're not an awful person with no heart. You just need to stop trying to prove you're something you're not," she told him.
"What do you mean, prove I'm something I'm not? Do you think I'm actually gay? Because I'm not. I like women! A lot, as it happens. I've never acted on an attraction to a man before Harry. And it's just a passing fancy. It's like extreme male bonding. It's not love. I'm not a fag," he protested angrily.
"Excuse me? Fag? Is that what you think I am? Because you didn't have a problem with this fag when your cock was in my mouth," I shot back at him just as angrily.
"That's not what I meant. I didn't mean it as an insult to you, but I'm still not one of them!"
"Stop it! Both of you! Draco, do not use that word again. And Harry, please just try and calm down a little," Hermione interjected.
"Oh stop acting like a mediator here. You're not innocent. You're supposed to be my best friend and even if you didn't know what Draco and I did together, you knew I fancied him. You said he was all mine! And you lied to me, Hermione. I don't know how to forgive you right now."
Tears pricked her eyes and ran down her cheeks and I instantly felt badly for making her cry. But in all fairness, she kind of had it coming. But the actuality of it was, Draco was pulling everyone's strings. Making everyone feel special. When it turns out, maybe neither one of us was special. But then it just brought me back to the broken man aspect of this. He was broken. That's for certain. But did I want to repair him? Could he be repaired? I didn't know. Right now, I was too mad at both of them to really care. That was the honest truth. I was trying to be level headed and logical and a problem solver. But the truth was, I didn't care why anyone did anything. I just cared they did it. And behind my back. And therefore, I was pissed. So I just threw up my hands.
"I'm done here. You two can show yourselves out. I'm leaving." I said as I stormed out in my pajamas and didn't think it through.
But I remembered there were clothes in the laundry room so I went there to change. And then I just apparated to a coffee shop and sat there for a really long time pretending to read a paper when in fact I was trying to plan my life. God only knew what they did together when I was gone. And I realized I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know any of it. Knowing meant losing all hope for my own future. And I couldn't stand that. I wanted Draco to want me. But I didn't think he ever really would. It all went back to the same place. I was the dirty secret and Hermione was the one he wanted to take home. Except I wondered how welcoming his parents would be of her if he did take her home. She wasn't a pureblood. They hated her kind. But at least she was female. A lot better to bring her home than me, I suspect. I should just step back like I said I would and let them have their time together. It was clear they wanted it, no matter how much Hermione claimed to want to spare my feelings. She was still only human and Draco had some kind of superhuman magnetic pull that everyone was helpless against. I didn't know what it was, but I knew he had it. I just cursed the day I ever let that magnetic charm get to me. I wish I could go back in time to before I met up with him again. Life was simpler then. And right now, I just wanted simple.
To be continued….Please leave some feedback for this story! I'm hoping you all are enjoying this twisted love story.