Chloe would have been perfectly happy to drive herself to Beca's condo, thank you very much. Lips pursed and nose high she had dressed quickly, not really caring about modesty, and then turned on the Bellas, waiting expectantly for someone to give her the address so she could type it into her phone's GPS. They had all just nervously looked between one another for a moment, not wanting to tell her no but also not wanting to be the one to give it to her. Finally, Aubrey stepped forward as though to meet a firing range and insisted that she would drive her.
"Fine. Let's go," and she marched out the door toward Aubrey's car, waiting with her arms crossed and her toe tapping until Aubrey - and all the other Bellas - showed up.
This was not a spectator sport but fine, if all of the Bellas wanted to come and watch Chloe squish that little hobbit's butt to a pulp then - okay - maybe hobbit wasn't entirely fair, she wasn't that much taller than Beca but that was not the point! She was gonna - she - she was - ugh, OKAY - she didn't know what she was going to do - but something! She was going to do something! Ha! Yeah! With a slightly self-satisfied huff, she got into the passenger seat and let one leg cross over the other as Bellas squished in behind her, making Aubrey's rented SUV feel like a clown car.
The drive wasn't a long one, but it made Chloe twitchy, frustrated that she had to wait. She was a woman on a mission and she was ready to get there! She could feel all the Bellas staring at her, gauging her and every now and then she could hear the crinkle of the paper bag that Stacie brought along - just in case - but she was absolutely refusing to look back at them. So she sat, her foot bouncing, and scowled at the road ahead of her.
This was it. Obviously, this was it!
Beca was in lov - wow, that was so weird to think. Bec had been in love with her. This was why this had all happened. This was it! She didn't know if a specific event in life had sent her running or if she had simply been unable to take it anymore but this was the reason!
There was no relief when she saw that they were pulling into the familiar lot, none at all, just a tightening around the eyes. She was ready and oooooooh, Beca had better pray for mercy!
Getting out of the car she only took a second to straighten the top of one of her tall boots and then she was off, the Bellas watching her stride purposefully past them, a fury of bouncing curls and clicking heels with the same set look on her face, arms swinging rigidly at her side.
Waiting for the elevator only heightened her aggravation, though not as much as being shoved into the small elevator like cattle did.
She made it to the front door before she had to stop, "Who has a key?"
There was a small shuffle behind her before Amy squeezed in front of her with a little apologetic smile and unlocked it.
"Damn, at least let my sexy ass get out of the way first!" She cried as Chloe blew by her, followed by the other Bellas.
For a second she wasn't sure where to go. She stomped into the living room and kitchen, Bellas skittering behind her like mice, but the condo seemed uninhabited. No way. It wasn't even ten in the morning.
Sleeping.
So she turned on her heels and started up the stairs.
"It's kinda fun seeing that all of us being together now is a lot like it was back then." Ashley hissed to the others behind her, "I mean, Chloe is about to kill Beca and we're all here to see. Literally exactly like the old days."
She was fuming as she stomped up the stairs. This was the worst reason to stop talking to someone ever! Why didn't she just talk to her? Why didn't she just come out to her? She was her BEST FRIEND! You come out to your best friend. It's just what you do. Why didn't she - augh, so many things!
It wasn't hard to guess which room was Beca's. She just went to the only closed door and threw it open, ready for the bang and slightly annoyed when the expensive hinge caught itself, letting out an anticlimactic soft hiss. It wasn't until just then that she realized there was a good chance that Hunny would be in bed with her. Thankfully, she wasn't.
Instead, Beca was unconscious, sprawled across the bed, her ass in the air and her mouth open, snoring. Chloe had to purse her lips hard in order to swallow down the thought of 'awe, cute'.
No! Not cute!
She was an - an ass kicking woman! Damn it!
Beca was already wearing sunglasses as though expecting to wake up with a hangover and seeing as how there was a whiskey bottle beside her bed and one on the pillow next to her, Chloe had to assume that yes, that was exactly what she was expecting.
Chloe marched right in, refusing to be distracted. Behind her, the Bellas all gathered around the doorframe like freaking chipmunks, no more than one eye each and a small mop of hair showing as they watched the scene play out. All except for Aubrey, that is, who stood just outside the door, bold as day, examining her nails.
She didn't pause; Chloe just walked right up to the edge of the bed and swat that ass, hard, then threw the little bit of blanket covering Beca off and to the floor. "BECA!"
The comatose woman gave a sharp jump, instantly reaching for her head, groaning. "Chloe? What the fuck? What year is it? What are you yelling about?"
"Get up!" She was trying not to pace and only just succeeding. She wanted to pace and shout and cross her arms and maybe hit her with something.
"What the fuck is haaaappening? You haven't even been back in town for a full weekend and yet you're already waking me up with a freak out. Stop yelling! My head hurts!"
"Imagine that." Aubrey scoffed behind them.
Chloe's eyes narrowed, scowling at the pathetic woman. Finally she huffed and begrudgingly went to the dresser, picking up the bottle of aspirin and staring fixedly at the wall above her as she held it out, her jaw clenching and unclenching, working constantly. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What?" Beca pulled herself up into a sitting position very slowly, looking nauseous but pointedly ignoring the offering. Disdain on her face, she instead grabbed the bottle that had been sleeping beside her, unscrewed the cap and took a huge swig, then lit a cigarette.
Did it get hot in here? Chloe could feel her cheeks flushing as she tried hard not to look at the way the peacock feather, spread across one side of Beca's ribs and stomach, moved every time she did. "It's not even ten in the morning."
Instead of answering Beca just reached for a balled up button up beside her, pulled it on and then looked up at Chloe behind her sunglasses, giving her a wide, toothy, and entirely vacant smile that pointedly said Beca had no fucks to give.
Chloe's eyes narrowed again, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what exactly?"
"You kissed me!"
The blasé air around Beca popped as she squeaked, "What?" and the cigarette, which had been balanced between her lips, fell to her bare thigh. There was a second's pause before Beca yelped, batting at the smoldering stick and swearing.
"You kissed me! I thought it was all best friend-y and maybe a little drunk but you kissed me!" Beca just stared, frozen. "They told me."
She was just about to step forward and, she didn't know, snap in front of Beca's face or something when Beca suddenly threw her head back and yelled at the top of her lungs, "AMY, EMILY, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU NERDS! NOT COOL!" Then she crumbled to the bed, covering her head with a pillow, giving in to her hangover.
Behind them feet were heard pounding down the hallway as though multiple Bellas were running for cover.
"That has to be, like, the worst reason to stop talking to someone! That's what it was, right?" She yelled, her hands flying up in frustration, "I've been thinking I did something wrong, that I offended you! But it was that! Wasn't it?" Beca's blank face made her deflate a little, uncertainty creeping in when the face did not change, "Wasn't it?" She frowned as Beca just stared through her glasses, her eyes hidden until finally Chloe scrunched her lips, uncomfortable and looked away.
Only then did Beca move. She took another long swig from her drink and got up. Without a word she bent over, grabbed her jeans and slowly began to pull them on. "I have a meeting with a client," she said, jumping a little in place to get them on over her hips.
Chloe opened her mouth to argue, but Beca was already halfway out door, her bare feet padding down the stairs.
'****'
FUCK FUCK - FUCK FUCK - FUCK FUCK! Her brain was screaming in time with her feet on her stairs. She barely stopped to grab her shoes, ignoring the Bellas who were pretending not to be hiding but were totally hiding.
It wasn't until she was out by her car that she realized she had forgotten everything but her keys and shoes. "FUCK!"
She was in a panic all day long, her breathing fast no matter what she was doing. She kept trying to laugh her sweating off but people were beginning to look at her with more and more concern. "What?" She finally snapped as EZ pulled out a napkin and dabbed at her forehead, "People sweat! Go...go rap something."
"Here, lil' mama, seems like you need this today." He reached behind him and handed her a flute filled with bubbling champagne.
"Thank you," she breathed, chugging it down and then handed it back to him for more. Her mind finally started to quiet a little after the third refill.
Why did Chloe care so much? Their friendship had been over for a long time now. They didn't need it! Fuck! Beca didn't need it anymore! She didn't need Mrs. Nicholas Cavanaugh with those eyes and those pouty lips! She let out a quick "pssshh" turning a few knobs on the soundboard before EZ got back to work. She was good. She was fiiiiine. Not necessary! "Okay!" She clapped, startling everyone around her, "EZTeez! Lessgo! Into the booth! Get! Iiinto the isolation booth!"
Still.
She kept wondering -
What was up exactly with Chloe's life?
She may or may not have on occasion stalked her Facebook page, which, no big deal, everyone does it. That's kind of what Facebook is for, right...secretly keeping up with the comings and goings of your exes in all forms, whether romantic or of the best friend variety...
Anyway, she had done some stalking and was always frustrated with the results. She was pretty sure there had never been a baby - or if there was Chloe never put any pictures of them up - or had happened to mention them all weekend. But it wouldn't be exactly surprising if Chloe never put any pictures up, Chloe could barely work a computer past it's obvious and simple functions.
And it's not like she had given Chloe a chance to mention a kid - or kids.
Her stomach knotted with guilt for a second, if there were no little-redheaded babies then there was probably a reason. Something had to have happened.
Had it been hard when she lost that pregnancy? Or - whatever had happened?
Her teeth found her lip and she began to chew, Chloe had always wanted to be a mom - hell she mom'ed the hell out of all of the Bellas all through school. It just came naturally to her.
Losing that baby - that must have absolutely killed her.
Crap.
"Yo, House Bex, am I in here just to keep myself pretty or are we gonna do something?"
Beca jumped, "Crap. Right, sorry. Okay, let's take it from the second bridge and see if we can get that - thing - fixed."
"Yo Clay, my man, give her the rest of the bottle."
Beca didn't argue when the glass bottle was passed to her, instead, she just drank straight from the neck, taking a deep breath and nodding for EZ to begin.
Working - didn't - help.
At all.
She was putting EZ through his paces, making him go over and over and over the same parts of the song, trying to iron out the wrinkles and all she was doing was driving them both nuts. The hell was wrong with her? She couldn't seem to...life, right now...
Even when Hunny showed up that evening, Beca still couldn't seem to make herself stop. If she could just get this one part right then she would feel better but what the hell was wrong with it? She couldn't place it. It was driving her fucking nuts! Coffee, she had just had too much coffee this morning - only, wait no, she had left the house before the coffee - any coffee. What the fuck? Maybe she needed coffee. If she could just stop freaking seeing those stupid eyes for a second, that would really help. If she could just fucking stop seeing the look on her face when she had taken that shot this morning, the concern and surprise - fuck, if she could stop seeing those stupid redheaded babies or FUCK, even worse, little brunettes, brunette like their daddy...brunette like their - NOPE! Nope, nope, nope, stop thinking about that, never gonna happen, stop it, stop it, stop it, whhoooaaaaaa, god -
"You okay, Bex?"
Beca felt the soft brush to the back of her neck but shook it off, not really wanting to be touched right now.
"Yo," Clay said from behind her, "I think someone broke House Bex or somethin'."
"Shut up!" Beca barked, tuning another knob and pressing her headphones tighter against her ears, trying to block out the sound of her own inner monologue.
"Well. While you do some of that, I'm gonna do some of this." EZ said, stepping out of the booth. Beca had to work - hard - not to yell at him to get back in there, she wasn't freaking done with him yet.
"Here, Bex, drink this." She glanced over at the refilled champagne flute and scowled.
Fine!
She couldn't fucking do anything anyway, not without EZ. She glared again and reached around the flute, taking the bottle and putting it to her lips. Hunny grinned in that way that reminded her of how hot Hunny found it when she's irresponsible.
"This girl knows how to party, look at that! Everyone having fun?"
Beca let out a small yelp, sloshing some of the drink over her shirt as her rather rotund boss appeared through the door.
"Yes, sir, Mr. P!" Hunny grinned, throwing an arm around EZ.
"Good, good," he grinned around at them.
Beca still wasn't used to this, the open let's all just have a good time thing that P.J. was into. Shouldn't she be in trouble for drinking straight from the bottle - in her studio - in the middle of a workday - in front of a client? Nope. Not with P.J. He was grinning at her like he had just found his heir to the throne.
"Hey, boss man." EZ handed him the joint that he had been working on but P.J. just grinned.
"No, no, none of that."
"That's right, you're a clean and sober man. More power to you, brother. Rock on."
Beca turned back to the soundboard, pressing a few more buttons, fiddling. She wasn't agitated; it was just that everything was bothering her, absolutely everything.
She wanted to get this song right.
She wanted to - you know - work.
"Let's hear it, tiger."
Beca nodded just a bit and hit the play button, "It's not quite right yet."
P.J.'s head started to bounce as the track began, "Umm! Damn. That's what I'm talking about. Though, that right there, that's loose, tighten it up. Ahh, you'll get there, you'll get there. I don't gotta worry about you. Okay! Have fun everyone! Beca, Amanda would like to meet with you. I told her you would be at The Royal in a few hours."
A few hours? The fuck, when did it get so god damn late?
"'Kay boss."
"Do a good job, Beca, we need this one. Her last hit kicked both of our asses. This is the chic who won the Grammy the year before last."
"'Kay boss!" Like she didn't know.
"Beca!"
Stress was beginning to bubble in her stomach as she looked up as politely as she can manage, "What's up?"
"Do good, Bexy."
"Okay boss." She gave him a small smile and dropped her head with a groan, her neck hurt. Everything hurt.
'You kissed me' - god damn it! Okay, so she had run this morning, like, legitimately run...like a kid...but...could anyone blame her? What was she supposed to say? She couldn't tell Chloe that she still remembered exactly how her skin had smelled as her nose had brushed against it on her wedding day. She couldn't tell Chloe that if it had gone any further, if she had done it - kissed her throat, it would have been the lips next and then everything would have been over because her evil gay trolling self was too caught up to fucking stop? She couldn't tell Chloe that she wasn't sure she had any more self-control now than she did then. She couldn't tell her that - this -fuck, this was all she had fucking thought about all fucking day and it was ruining her life! God damn it, make it stop! Her head fell with a thump onto the board, making the room echo with strange pings as her face hit the sequencer.
"Bexy,"
"Yeah?" Her head shot back up, gluing as genuine of a smile as she could find onto her face. "You get her and she's yours. Solo name, baby. Let's see what you can do." P.J. called over his shoulder as he left the room, making Beca jump. Shit. Did he just say that? Did he - fuck, did he just say that?!
"Dude!" She turned to Hunny, "Did he just say that?"
"Say what?"
Did solo name really mean, solo name? She swiveled back around, barely paying attention. Oh my god! Like - holy shit! She pulled her headphones back on, her stomach doing a nervous polka.
The room went silent behind her for a minute before Hunny let out a purr, "Let's get this party going, shall we?"
Beca didn't even need to turn around to know that Hunny had brought out her little glass pipe. God damn it, she was trying to fucking concentrate. "Hallway!"
"What?"
"If you're gonna do that then do it in the hallway."
"You don't want some, lil' mama?"
"I'm tryi - I haveta-" She swung herself back around because yelling at a client wasn't helpful. It wasn't even his fault really; it's those stupid blue eyes.
WHY DID SHE CARE? She didn't get it! Why did Chloe even care? And solo name...what did that even mean?
"Awww, come on, don't be a party pooper, House Bex!" Clay cried, clicking his tongue.
"Yeah, babe!" Hunny purred, pulling on Beca's arm.
"Dude, I have to work. I have to get this right. You heard P.J. I need to be at The Royal soon." She didn't - fucking want to - she wanted -
"Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you here-" Hunny began to croon, grinding her hips on EZ and laughing.
"Guys!" Beca bit the inside of her cheek and after taking a meditative breath, turned directly to EZ; layering on as much charm as she could, "Do you want me to hit that or do you want this to sound good?"
"Alright, alright, no need to yell lil' mama. We're goin'."
"No, what I need, EZ, is for you to be in your head and in there!" How were they supposed to get any work done? It was getting late, she had to, fuck. Her stomach was starting to turn sour. She drained a bit more of the champagne but it didn't help either. She just needed a few minutes alone with EZ - minus his crew – minus Hunny - so they could work, really work. God, she missed that about her internship. They worked. They talked, they discussed and planned, they worked through everything and in the end great music was born.
"Alright, gimmie a second and I'll be there! Shit!" His usual playful demeanor was starting to turn crisp the more aggravated she became.
All day! It had been all day with this! What was the fucking point? God damn it. They hadn't done anything of worth.
"Sorry, I'm just getting frustrated because this needs to get cut soon so we can move on to the next one. The next one is going to be a big one, remember?" Beca's fingers steepled and she did her best to drop back into her charming producer mode, "And I can't do that without you buddy, so let's try it again, yeah? We got this!"
Beca got to the club early that night because it really had been pointless. She didn't know who was a bigger, unfocused mess - EZ and Hunny or herself. The first thing she did was walk straight up to the bar, "Gimmie a shot of Jack with a Jack chaser."
"Huh?" The bartender just stared at her.
"Two shots. Just, ugh, just give me two shots."
"Hard day, House Bex?" Tony asked, coming around the bar and automatically grabbing the bottle of single barrel Jack Daniels and an empty shot glass, both of which he placed in front of her before continuing on to another customer.
"Why does everyone call me that? It's not even a nickname! It's a fucking building!" But Tony wasn't listening. She quickly poured herself out a shot, then another, the burn soothing her ragged nerves. Her hand closed around the bottle ready to pour a third but - FUCK - nooooo, Amanda was going to be here soon.
'Do good, Bexy!' The fuck was that shit? Which was better, 'do good, Bexy' or 'I thought I had offended you'? Both were the golden freaking lines of her day. Awesome, both made her feel super freaking great. Yup. She loved it. 'Just tell me what I did. Please.' Oooooh yeah! Suuuper great. She poured herself a third shot, took it and pushed the bottle away, angrily.
"Yo Bex, your crew is here."
"What?"
"Your crew." He pointed over her shoulder and she turned to see the Bellas walking in, looking high on life. They all seemed so damn excited to be there that for a moment she envied them.
God, what was it with her today?
"Holy shit, where does this day keep going?"
She really would like to just let go, have fun and enjoy her friends - but she couldn't. As it turned out, Amanda - was kind of a bitch, okay, she was a huge bitch. The moment they met in the doorway Amanda scoffed, taking in her makeup and her piercings. "You're Beca Mitchell?"
"Uh yeah," she gave her the best grin she could manage, taking in the indie look of the folk singer; this was going to be interesting. It was true that she was gay but she had never been the folk singer with a guitar and patchouli kind of gay, "I guess that would be me."
"P.J. said you're good."
Not really knowing how else to respond she just scoffed, "I am good."
"If you say so."
Beca took a deep breath, switching modes, "Honey, by the time I'm done with you there will be no one who can deny how good I am, just you wait. Now, how about a drink?"
They started up toward one of the party rooms. "Tell me about your sound," Beca called over her shoulder, starting to climb the stairs, only to realize she was speaking to open air. "Amanda?"
The hell?
Then she spotted the little blonde folk singer at the base, eyelashes batting at none other than Cynthia Rose. Ooookay. "Amanda, this is my friend Cynthia Rose."
"Yeah, already got to that, Bec." Cynthia Rose said, not bothering to look away from Amanda.
Oooookay. "She's part of my college a capella team, actually all of these,"
"A capella?" Amanda scoffed.
"Hey now, don't judge. Uh-uh. You should see the things we can do with only our mouths." Cynthia Rose gave her a flirty wink.
"Yeeaaaaaah, so! Why don't we all take this up to the third floor."
It took a minute to get Amanda moving but finally they were all settling in the small party room on the top floor. Honestly, it was kind of nice; at least the Bellas were there too.
"So, tell me about your sound," Beca tried again.
"My sound," Amanda leaned forward, eyeing Cynthia Rose and ignoring Beca completely, that was until she turned and said, "could use a few drinks."
Ugh, my god, was she kidding? One Grammy. That was it! How was it possible she was this much of a diva?
"Right, yeah, totally, let's get some dranks up in here." Her hand lifted, signaling the server but Amanda stopped her.
"Actually, yeaaaah, I was roofied once so I expect someone from my team to watch all of my drinks being made so…."
Beca just stared. Was she fucking kidding? She was the only 'someone from her team' there tonight. It took her a second to snap out of it, "Yeah. Totally. Okay." She stood, muttering, "I can definitely see why someone would need to roofie you."
"Greaaaat, thanks, Becaaaaa!"
"Name your poison?"
"So I'll have a kombucha, whiskey infusion with a twist of lime."
"Kum, what?" Cynthia Rose cried next to her.
"They put that in a glass now?" Stacie scoffed, studying her nails. "What?"
Crap. Beca realized she was just staring at Amanda again, "Errr, this is a club, pretty sure they don't have kombucha."
"How can they not have kombucha? It's the 21st century and L.A., people are concerned about their health."
"Uuuuhhh,"
"That's like a bar not having acai nectar."
"Yeaaaah, pretty sure they don't have that either."
"Ugh, for the love of Gaia, just get me a whiskey sour."
"Yeah. Right. Okay."
The thing was, this early the upstairs bartender wasn't even freaking on yet.
With a whimpering moan, she started down the stairs, knowing it was going to be a very long night.
It wasn't long before Beca was breathing hard, sweat dripping down the back of her neck.
First it was, "oooooh, Beca, I'm sorry, I thought I told you Jameson isn't vegan." Then it was, "Oh Beca, while you're up can you get a round for the house?" Then it was, "Oooh, Beca, can you call P.J. and ask him' this or 'ooooh, Beca, can you call' insert name here 'and ask them' that. Next it was "soooo, Beca, I hear you have some tracks here, will you ask the bartender to put one on?" And then, "there's a party tomorrow night at The Pantages, can you get me tickets?" It was fucking humiliating. How was it that suddenly she was the burrito grabber again? Where was Jodie so she could make her run the drinks? Her thighs were burning and she was having a permanently hard time catching her breath.
She was just running downstairs - again, a stitch stabbing hard into her side and very ready to yell at the bartender to get someone up there in their room when she ran into Hunny and EZ. "Hey lil' mama,"
"Dude." She gasped, steadying herself on his shoulder, "I would - I would hug you if I could breathe right now. Never let me be snappy with you again. You're my favorite client," she whined.
"Awe," EZ wrapped her tightly in a hug she hadn't actually wanted, "someone is in a better mood."
Beca growled in response and pushed past them, calling back that the Bellas were upstairs if they wanted to join them.
That had been a bad idea though because the moment that EZ and Amanda were together her job doubled - quadrupled. At least it was clear the Bellas were having a great time. Half of them were going nuts over the fact that they were hanging out with EZTeez and Amanda Thorough, the other half were enjoying the Cynthia Rose show in between dancing up a storm.
At least they were having fun.
"Uuuuuum, crap," Beca heard it come out of Amanda's mouth and knew it was going to be something difficult this time, "I can't seem to find my hash oil. Beca-"
Eeeeer…Beca was already looking to Hunny, her connect for all things drug related. Hunny just shook her head, baffled.
"Do you have a guy you can call? I really need it. I kinda wig out without it."
Wig out? Did she even want to know what 'wig out' would look like on this chic? Who the fuck was she going to call for hash oil right now?
"Hash oil?" EZ cried, "Naw, naw, naw, you gotta go with the greens baby, all natural n'shit."
"That shit is just as processed. I dunno, this isn't a problem is it, Beca? Cuz, I really need a producer who can really come through for me."
Beca's stomach rolled. Right. Subtle. And she had no idea. Someone here had to have hash oil. She pulled Hunny aside, "I don't know. Try calling Jeremy. You know I don't sell weed, Beca."
"Um, it's hash oil." Amanda sniffed.
"Alright, weed products, princess."
With a panicked groan, Beca covered Hunny's mouth with her hand and reached for her phone. Fucking Hunny.
"Heeey," Hunny cooed, pushing her hand away, "You look like you could use a little - decompression."
The suggestive way Hunny said it made the corner of her lip twitch up.
"Yeaaah, that's what I thought, babe." Beca took a second to enjoy the sensation of Hunny nibbling on her shoulder. "Why don't you let me-"
"Hey, Beca?" Stacie called, emerging from a long discussion with one of EZ's crew, "Oh, err, sorry."
"It's cool, I've got a phone call I need to make." She said, flashing a wide smile at Amanda, "What's up?"
"Oh, I was just wondering, where's Chloe?"
It took Beca a second to register. She had been so busy all night that she hadn't even noticed...neither Chloe nor Aubrey were here, were they? The hell were they? "I dunno, with you guys?"
"Uuuuhhhh, do you see any red curls around here, Cap?" Amy asked, looking around the group, "Nope. Don't see 'em."
Lilly raised her hand and they all turned to watch her lips move.
"What?" Hunny asked.
"We errr, we never know."
"You guys are so weird."
'You're so weird. - thanks' uuuugh, crap, she hadn't been thinking about it for like the first freaking time today but, craaaaaaap.
"We haven't seen her all day, Becs."
"Did she go home?"
There it was again, that annoying, guilty bubbling in her stomach. Fuck, had she run her off? She should have run off. God damn it, why had she reacted that way? It wasn't that big of a deal, right? I mean, "I dunno guys, I gotta - I gotta get this lady her, umm, oil."
"Someone invited them, right? Cuuuuuuz, if not that would be awwkward." Flo frowned.
She didn't - she just couldn't do this right now. She had shit to do. "Finally!" She cried as one of the familiar bartenders stepped into the room, readying the mini bar. "Jesus!"
For not being a 'late nighter' it was pretty late when Amanda finally pulled herself from the couch and insisted that she had to go.
Beca wanted to do a little goodbye-and-get-the-fuck-out dance. She was exhausted. Her feet hurt, her head hurt, and she was pretty sure that at some point in the night she had gone into some type of cardiac arrest. She really needed to start going to a single floored club.
None of the other clients had ever had her run like Amanda had.
She tried hard to get a read on what was supposed to be happening with Amanda now; was she going to join the label or not? Amanda, instead of answering, just smiled politely and moved past her and a grumpy looking Cynthia Rose. Right. Because a straight answer, well, that would have just been crazy.
Beca fell with a huff across Hunny's legs the moment she was gone, cuddling up into a tiny ball and whining, "That was terrible!"
"Awe, I know but now is the time for fun!"
"But did you hear what P.J. said earlier? He said I would be solo on this one, I think that meant-"
"What I heard was that you need this." Hunny interrupted, handing her a bottle of whiskey.
Beca frowned. Chloe would have cared about what she had been trying to say.
"Come on, lazy bitch, let's dance."
She sighed, brushing the thought off. She was far too tired for it. She was far too...everything for it. A drink, yeah, she needed a fucking drink.
So she got up and she danced. And she drank. And she danced. And she drank - and drank - and drank - feeling better and better as the world began to blur.
Before she knew what was happening, she was pressed between Hunny and some random woman, her hips grinding fast to the beat and it didn't matter that she had been woken up by a slap to the ass from Chloe, it didn't matter that she had barely gotten through work or that Amanda had treated her like a slave girl all evening without so much as giving her the damn job. What mattered was that the bodies against her felt great, her accelerated heartbeat felt great and everything, right now, was just great. Her thoughts were clear. Hell, she didn't have any thoughts left in her, just Jack and music and these bodies.
It wasn't stressful anymore, it was primal or some shit.
"Let's go."
She heard Hunny's throaty whisper and knew it for exactly what it was. Yeeeees. That she could do. That she needed. So badly. Sex made everything better. Manageable.
Stumbling over her feet she grinned up at her, ready for the challenge of whatever Hunny was going to throw her in the sack. "What about my Bells?" She asked, trying to get her tongue to work and not really caring that it didn't.
"They're gonna close the place down. I gave them an Uber code. They're fine. Let's - go."
"Oookay, bye bye random lady," Beca grinned back at the blonde she had been dancing with.
"She's coming with us, House Bex."
"Oooooh."
The cab ride back to her condo was a swirl of sensations. She wasn't sure whose leg was where and what was pressing against her, but it was all fine, she was good, she had this. They had been here before and Beca's body was happily responding to every stroke, every graze. Her eyes were closed, her hands pressed against the roof as she let out a 'Je-Jesus', her mind slipping here and there in and out of lucidity.
The trio was a giggling, groping bundle as they rode the elevator, a little kissing, a lot of touching. They nearly missed her floor, which was impressive because she was at the top. Beca let them into the condo, nearly upending herself as the door swung open.
"Careful, Lex!" The blonde giggled, pulling on Beca's shirt to help her stand and then ripping it over her head.
What? Ugh, whatever; the thought was knocked from her head as both the women pinned her to the door, teasing her in a way that both aggravated and delighted her.
"Do you have anything else to drink?"
"Mmmm, nightcap." Hunny grinned, "I left a bottle in the living room last night."
"Hmmmmm-" Hunny bit Beca hard in the neck. "Ow! FUCK! Jesus, I'm going, I'm going!" The ground almost came up to meet her as she pushed off the door. She had to hold on tight for a moment but then she was able to close it and head toward the living room, tilting and staggering like a sailor.
"Hurry back, Lexie."
"Who the fuck is Lexie?" Beca heard Hunny ask between the sound of lips smacking on skin.
Oh shit. The fuck was the table doing there? Ow! Fuck! Okay. Straight line. Over there. See that shiny thing? That's what you want. One foot in front of the other. You got this. Coooommme on, Beca! You can - she froze as her eyes fully focused on her goal and she noticed, for the first time, the form on the couch behind it. Her first reaction was confusion, why was there a woman asleep on her couch? That was a weird thing for a burglar to do. Then her eyes adjust to the dark and she saw the titian spirals spilling over the arm of the couch, her body curled up into a tight little ball, her face resting on her hands.
Chloe was on her couch...asleep...Chloe ….on her couch….and….uuuuuhhhhh….
The room swayed and she barely caught herself before she went down on one knee.
What was she doing here? How did she get in? Unless...had she been there all day….waiting? Fuck, had she been there all day?
Suddenly it was like a bucket of ice water had been dropped on her libido and her buzz. Her drunken, laughing state transforming as she stared, watching the slight twitch to Chloe's eyebrow, the way her body slowly rose and fell with her breath.
Behind her a loud giggle drifted up from the writhing couple and she scowled; they were going to wake her up! She was fucking sleeping! Shut the fuck up!
She made her way back across the expanse of living room and foyer as quickly as she could, "Dude, shut the hell up!"
"What?" Hunny grinned, reaching for her but Beca pulled away. She wasn't really interested. She kinda wanted, "Actually. On second thought. Get the fuck out."
"What?" The humor fell from Hunny's face.
"Seriously, dude. I don't -I don't want the clap. Out. Get. Out. Go."
"What are you-"
"What the hell is the clap?" The blonde cried.
Hunny's hand slipped over the blonde's mouth cutting off whatever she was going to say next.
"Dude, I said out! Take it to your place." She tossed the shirt at her feet toward Hunny and opened the door, stumbling. What was taking them so long? "I know that you're all about the group sex, Hun, but go. Seriously."
"Bitch." The blonde muttered, sending her a scathing look.
Beca was fine with that. "Yup. Buh-bye."
"The hell, Bex?"
"Duuude, go!" Did that sound whiny?
"Psssh, fine! Whatever. You've been lame all day, anyway."
Beca barely heard her.
She closed the door behind them with relief, thankful for the silence. She could feel the darkness rumbling in her, turning her fun, relaxing drunk sour. She should just go up to bed, just stay out of the living room and go straight up to bed. But what if she got cold? She could at least go put a blanket on her or something, right?
Beca took a minute to take a deep breath, pull her shirt back on and then she was stumbling back toward the living room. She had no idea what to do about the sleeping woman but she did know that she really wanted that bottle. As soon as she was back in the living room, though, she was distracted entirely, staring down at the beautiful sleeping face.
Ravishing. That was a good word for it. Ravishing. That fit perfectly.
She watched Chloe's nose twitch in her sleep and her frown deepened. How was it possible that it still kind of felt like the entire earth was rotating around this stupid awesome sleeping woman? It had been years, this was pathetic! How could she still feel this way? She couldn't. She wouldn't let herself. It was not right. Why was she such a masochist? Absence wasn't really supposed to make the heart grow fonder, that was just for stupid Disney movies and Meg Ryan rom-coms.
She shook her head and picked up the whiskey bottle, ready to down the contents and fall into a nice dreamless coma for the rest of the night.
"You kissed me."
Beca's heart ripped from her chest as she let out a quick high yelp. "Jesus Christ, Chlo!" FAACK!
"You kissed me."
Uuuuuugh, why did she keeeep saaaaying that? In the darkness, she could see that the woman hadn't moved, not at all, but now there were bright blue irises looking up at her, pinning her to the spot. Her mind jumbled as she tried not to stare back and spoke before she thought, "Not on the mouth!" She cried, her arms flapping at her sides.
Ohmygodthatwassostupid! She groaned running her hand through her hair, whhhyy did she have to be so stupid?
"No," the soft voice came from the couch again, "Beca, I'm saying you kissed me...I should have known."
Wha- what was she supposed to say to that, what was anyone supposed to say to that ever? "Pshh, known what? There was nothing to know! That - that - was just a - what they said - a, you know - aaaaa- I,"
"You never came out to me but I should have known. I should have known that you loved me. I knew everything else about you."
Oh god, please stop talking in that whisper voice thing. It was doing funny things to her stomach and her brain. Goooooooddammit. She pressed her hand into her eye, trying to clear that fuzziness away. This was starting to be too much. They were coming too close, too close to the truth. That ache, the ache she had known for years was starting to throb. "What? That's craz-I – pshh, I mean, you were my best friend so – but never – not – no way, ha!"
"I'm sorry."
The words knocked Beca silent. She stared back into the eyes she had always loved, feeling raw and exposed. She couldn't - she can't - what was she supposed to say? Nothing. There was nothing to say. Instead, she lifted the whiskey bottle, ready to hide.
"Don't drink that."
"Uuuhhh, what?"
"Don't. Bec - you don't need it."
Beca scowled. She didn't really like it when people told her what to do. She never had. Call it a - thing. She upended the bottle, finishing it off before she had fully decided to. It was strange not listening to a request from Chloe but - well, that's the way the cookie fucking crumbled.
Chloe's face didn't change, not surprised in the least. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Beca scoffed, her hand squeezing convulsively on the neck of the bottle, trying to keep her mind centered as she looked back, "Tell you what? 'Hi straight best friend, I'm gay and oh by the way, can I have your babies?' Yeah, cuz that would have been super smooth, Chlo."
"No, but it would have been honest and honest would have been awesome."
Something must have shown on Beca's face because Chloe just looked up at her for a long minute and then started to laugh into the arm of the couch, one eye out and sparkling.
Beca felt a smile crack as she watched Chloe's face twinkle, alight, "It's not fucking funny, Chlo!" But she started to laugh too, "It was torture! Six years of pure fucking torture."
Chloe sat bolt upright, her doe eyes huge, "Six years?"
"No!" Beca shot back instantly, taking a guilty step backward. Too much honesty.
Chloe eyed her for a minute and then sank back into her spot, grinning again. "You should have told me."
"Yeah well…" Beca sighed, watching Chloe watch her. That too much feeling started to build again, hurting.
They were staring at one another again, somewhere outside of herself Beca could tell, but she was lost, floating. Chloe was staring at her again in that way, the way that always made the little hairs on her arm stand up on end. She was starting to feel dizzy.
Those lashes were fucking intoxicating, how were they even legal? Oh god, stop staring at me, Chlo. I can't take it. I can't -
"You kissed me."
There was something there, something in Chloe's voice that ripped Beca's defenses away leaving her wounded, naked and exposed. She looked away, humiliated when the tears started to fall. It was stupid, she knew it was stupid. It was the damn booze; it always made her more prone to stupid fucking crying. She could feel that sweet earnest smile on Chloe's face, the one that always made her feel like she was worth a million bucks.
A soft warm hand slipped into hers and without thinking she closed her own around it, tightly.
