She had to get away from the overpowering feeling of violence that threatened to consume her if she stayed another minute in Jean's presence. She waited until she was within the safe confines of her greenhouse to fully let go of her emotions. She had immediately made a beeline for the exotic plants section, where she sank to the floor and gave her emotions free reign. The thunderclouds that loomed over Westchester finally broke and gave way to torrential rain, bright streaks of lightning and frightening peels of thunder. She wrapped her arms around herself as she cried for the sisterhood that was now permanently destroyed. She cried for the hurt and pain so callously inflicted on those she loved. She cried for her family, knowing that its fracture would never be fully healed. She cried for the years of support and love she had readily and devotedly gave to Jean, only to be rewarded with her malice and scorn.
The raging storm outside pounded the glass structure relentlessly, but Ororo didn't care. She didn't care that she had seemed heartless in finally venting her true feelings and thoughts to Jean. She was just so damned fed up with the pain and anguish she was feeling and the constant need to put a lid on that pain and anguish. Her heart was heavy and the need to unburden herself finally manifested into the furor currently causing havoc outside. The level of emotional release was very atypical of her. Rarely did she erupt with the magnitude and ferocity as she had, but she had known it would have only been a matter of time. Like everything in life, once reached the boiling point, there had to be a release of the pressure and tension someway and somehow.
Ororo cried harder as the history of the friendship and sisterhood she shared with Jean moved through her mind with ease. And that was the hardest part for Ororo to accept, knowing that this woman whom she had shared everything with had betrayed and hurt her with such enormity. Jean was someone whom Ororo thought would never in a lifetime be capable of such dastardly actions, but she was so wrong on that account. Over the past few weeks, she had continuously berated herself for being fooled by Jean's façade of friendship and love, refusing to accept that she, Ororo Munroe, the prideful, collected, intelligent woman, had fallen for the redhead's tricks hook, line and sinker.
Well, the confrontation had proven to her that admitting Jean had hoodwinked her all these years was unavoidable. The more Jean had spoke, the more she had realized that she had no choice in accepting the inevitable. Additionally, learning of Jean's long standing vendetta against her for things out of her control and the awareness that Jean may not be as remorseful as she so eloquently waxed was the straw the broke the camel's back.
Could she forgive herself for grossly underestimating Jean? Could she forgive herself for putting herself in another position where she had ended up hurt? These were the pertinent questions she asked herself as she stood with shaky legs and walked over to the window. She slumped against the window, lightly resting her forehead on the cold pane of glass. She crammed a tight fist against her lips, in a useless attempt to stop crying, but it didn't stop her azure eyes from overflowing with tears that flooded over her lower lids, coursing down her mahogany cheeks. They further dampened the strands of cloud-colored hair that tumbled around her head in heedless disarray.
She had been optimistic that the team would eventually get back on track. That optimism had all but vanished after Jean's revelations, especially the revelations about her. The depth of Jean's deception was like a stunning knockout blow and for the first time, Ororo felt doubts about her prospect for the team's recovery creep up on her.
She knew it would only be a matter of time before the Wolverine tracked her down, but still she released herself from the negativity and agony that had shrouded her heart and the mansion and its residents for the past few months. The war that Jean had declared on her was finally over, if this afternoon's events were any indication, but Ororo didn't feel any satisfaction from the victory she had scored. In fact, she felt hollow and battered.
She didn't turn from the window when she heard her mate busting through her sanctuary and roaring her name. "Storm! What the hell is…?" The words died on his lips when he took in her disheveled state. Dejection, pain, confusion and exhaustion immediately lashed his enhanced sense of smell when he saw her. Logan was at a loss as to who or what could have reduced his 'Ro to this state.
His beast roared inwardly, immediately wanting to seek out the guilty party and sink his metal friends into him or her. Instead, he squelched the urge and the man stepped forward to do one of the many jobs as dictated by the rules of being in a relationship. Opening his arms wide, Ororo unsteadily walked into them. They automatically closed around her, rendering the comfort and love she so desperately needed. He was soaking wet, but she didn't care and in fact tightened her hold on him. He ghosted kisses across the crown of her head, while telling her that everything was going to be alright.
"Come on baby, don't cry. Ya know how much I hate ta see ya upset," he rasped.
After a few minutes of quietly sobbing into his wet flannel shirt, she lifted vulnerable, sad eyes to him. "I shall be fine, my love."
"Yeah, but in the meantime, I wanna know whose ass I gotta kick," he replied, smiling crookedly.
'Ro heaved a sigh and step away from his embrace. Despite being wet, she immediately missed the warmness of him. She collected herself as best as she could in her current state. The torrential rain and thunder ceased and was replaced with light sprinkling showers.
"I was in the Danger Room, when Chuck told me ta get ta ya, babe. I was worried when I saw the damage outside," Logan said, a bushy brow cocked. "So?"
'Ro grimaced. Now that she had her emotions under control, the consequences of her letting go were about to come to the forefront. And with the holidays so close. "I guess that I will have to see Charles about the damage." Groaning, she lowered her head and softly said, "Jean and I finally had our confrontation."
Enough said. The severe weather and her appearance made sense. They had talked at length the evening he had informed her of his and Jean's exchange. Ororo in turn, had given him a glimpse into the agony she was in at the loss of the woman who was once her best friend and what she had done. He knew she was exhausted with suppressing that pain and he knew it was only a matter of time before she blew her lid.
He deftly worked the buttons of his shirt free, peeling the wet fabric off his body and tossed it aside. He toed off his boots and worked himself out of his wet jeans, leaving them in a puddle on the floor as he stepped out of them. Gloriously naked, he slowly walked over to her and enveloped her from behind so that her back was plastered to his naked front.
"Feels good," she murmured, his heat soothing her and beckoning her to him.
He kissed the side of her neck. "It'll feel better if ya get out yer clothes too, darlin'."
She turned in his arms, looping her slender arms around his thick neck. They clung to each other, enjoying the feel of each other. Neither spoke, nor moved. His body was strong and warm and offered her its usual security.
"I pretty much said goodbye to Jean today, Logan," she sighed pitiably, leaning her head against his hairy, warm naked chest. "I had to unburden my heart in order for us to move on and properly heal."
"I'm sorry, darlin'."
Ororo moaned. "It does not help that I still feel that she has bamboozled me all these years."
Logan frowned. "Come on, 'Ro. Ya can't beat yerself up over that. Ya were a true friend ta her. It ain't yer fault that she turned out ta be the person she is."
"I should have known better, Logan. After Forge, I promised myself that I would not put myself in a position where I would be liable to get hurt." She exhaled loudly. "So much for that promise."
"First of all darlin', the Jean situation and the Forge situation are different. Ya had no reason to believe that Jean would stoop so low and hurt ya the way she did. Forge, is another story all tagether." He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "Ya can't compare the two in that regard."
"I should have sensed her animosity towards me," Ororo mumbled. "I trusted her and she repaid me with hatred and disdain."
"Not yer fault, baby. From where I'm standin', Jean had everybody conned, even good ole Chuck."
Logan ran his hand down the length of her back, spreading heat through her in his wake. "Look, darlin', Jean is her own woman just as ya are. Ya're not responsible fer her anymore than she's responsible fer ya."
She knew he spoke the truth. She was in no way responsible for Jean's chosen path. But still…she felt like a fool.
Logan's next words made her wonder if they were bonded to each other psychically as well. "Ya're not a fool fer believin' and trustin' her. Yer a wonderful woman and it's a damn shame she couldn't see that in ya she had support, love and a lifelong friend. If ya ask me, Jean is the fool in all this."
"She told me that she was jealous of me and wanted to knock me down off of my pedestal." She looked up at Logan with confused eyes. "Did I do something wrong? Was I not supposed to have the respect and love of my family?"
Logan closed his eyes as her depressing words pierced him. Damn that redhead bitch for doing this to all of them. He looked down in her eyes, so full of confusion and hurt. He had to erase that look, knowing that if that look took hold, then they would be in for a world of lingering doubts and pain. "Babe, ya are who ya are and nothin' ain't gonna change that. People naturally flock ta ya 'cause ya care 'bout their wellbeing. Ya give yerself ta people freely, with no pretense and ya don't look fer anythin' in return. Ya're one of a kind and ya don't have ta try hard ta get anybody's respect or love. One look at ya and people can't help but give them ta ya."
His words went straight to her heart and his arms tightened around her, reassuring her and dispelling any and all remaining doubts she had.
She eased herself away from him and stepped out of her ballet flats. Next she unsnapped her dark blue skinny jeans, peeling them off along with the blue merino wool sweater and tossed them on the floor to join his clothing. She stood before her mate in her light blue lace bra and matching thongs. She looked into his eyes and immediately shivered at the heated gaze he was leveling on her.
"How much damage did I cause?" She asked distractedly, closing the distance between them.
"Don't worry 'bout it," he answered, tracing his thumb along the soft fullness of her lips. "I'll take care of it."
She smiled softly at him. The first genuine smile she had graced him with since he joined her. "Thank you. You are so good to me."
"My job, darlin'," he rasped. "Ya good now?"
She knew exactly what he was asking. He wanted to know if she harbored any more doubts about her relationship with Jean. "Oh, I am good, bub," she answered, causing him to chuckle. "As a matter of fact, I was hoping you would make me feel even better."
"Is that so?" He asked as he divested her of her underclothes.
"Oh yes, my warrior."
He pulled her flushed against him before he bent down and his lips caressed hers softly and gently. Ororo felt the constrained desire behind it and wanted it all at that very moment. She wanted feral and primal. She wanted the Wolverine. "Do not hold back from me, Wolverine," she purposefully goaded, calling out to his beast. "Give it all to me."
His deep gray eyes slowly morphed into the black fathomless pools of the beast. His low rumble told her that he had heard her call and he was not going to deny his Goddess what she wanted.
Loneliness, hopelessness, dispiritedness would adequately sum up the feelings currently coursing through her body. She had played Russian roulette with her life and as luck would have it, she had dealt herself the deathblow. Yes, the other shoe she had been waiting for had indeed drop and she had been the one to drop it with a solid thud that left its mark. There were decisions and consequences and she was finally paying the cost of the calamitous consequences for her very bad decisions.
The satisfaction she was so sure that was forthcoming in her crusade against Ororo, never materialized and she was now soundly defeated. That immense pleasure she was hoping to feel in destroying Ororo and bringing her down a couple of notches and taking what she wanted from Logan, only came to be in the form of immense grief. Karma was indeed a bitch and a merciless one at that.
They had all asked her if it was worth it to lose everything and she can now unequivocally admit to her lonely soul and shattered heart that there was not one ounce of worth in it. Her friends hated her and her husband wanted a divorce. But, what else did she expect after following through on her ill-fated plans and damning the consequences. She had no choice now but to deal with the penalties and face them head on. The Professor had told her that she was in for a long and difficult road back to redemption and she had more or less refused to take it to heart. After the experiences she'd had with Scott, Logan and Ororo lately, she was now taking it to heart, finally realizing how true the Professor's words were.
Jean stood from the chair she had occupied throughout and after Ororo's tongue lashing and slowly made her way to the windows in the back of the classroom. The torrential rain, deafening thunder and lightning dancing in the sky let her know that Mother Nature's heart was heavy and she was grieving alongside her daughter. A look at some uprooted trees, fallen branches and objects scattered across the torn up lawn indicated to her that Ororo's anguish was profound.
Suddenly, a bright bolt of lightning struck the ground just outside to windows where she was standing. At that very moment, Jean felt an incredible sense of awareness overtake her. It was as if Mother Nature herself was reaching out to her, beckoning her to shed the weight and stench of all her misdeeds. She had no choice but to submit to Mother Nature's demand and she lowered her head into her trembling arms and cried with her former best friend, everything she had done and loss finally hitting her full force. The burden became so much for her to bear that she had no choice but to succumb to the weight of it all and fall to her knees, clutching her head, willing the pain and hopelessness to go away.
For how long she stayed there in that position she didn't know, but numb knees told her that it was obviously a while. Dropping on her behind and curling her legs under her, Jean rubbed at her swollen burning eyes. She heaved a shuddering sigh, suddenly feeling light and unburdened. Her spontaneous release had gifted to her the clarity she had desperately sought in order to come to terms with the current state of her life. It had also given her insight as to the actions she needed to take in order to rectify the situation and finally grant her family the peace it needed to heal. With the Christmas holidays less than two weeks away, it would be the perfect opportunity and time to give them that gift. And the upcoming New Year will definitely be a new start for them and for her.
She maintained that position as she contemplated everything that she would need to get done if she was going to redeem herself and finish what she had started. There was only one way for her to mend the chasm she had created and for the first time in her life, she was going to be selfless and do what was right for others.
Sighing, she stood, her legs trembling, knowing that her decision was the right one and her actions from here on out were going to be difficult and challenging. As Charles had told her, she and she alone must complete it.
Returning to her desk, she reached down to where her attaché case was lying on the floor and pulled out the document Scott had dropped on her desk a week ago. She had purposefully put off looking at it, unreasonably hanging on to a shard of hope that this was all a horrible nightmare and none of it was real. Common sense, however, dictated to her that this was very much real and was indeed happening.
Her eyes glossed over with tears as she read the caption. Scott Summers - Plaintiff vs. Jean Grey-Summers - Defendant. The standard language of the divorce papers continued, residence, date and place of marriage, whether or not the marriage was performed by a clergyman. When her eyes scanned the clause that asked whether or not there were any children of the marriage, the big fat NO sent a pang through her chest. Her failure to have children with Scott was another casualty of her selfish desires. She had no doubts that Scott would have made a wonderful father.
Continuing to read through the document, she finally reached the section that asked about the grounds for divorce. He had chosen the simplest one of them all in New York State, the irretrievable breakdown in their relationship. She was grateful for that, as he could have used one of the others and set out to embarrass her, revealing all she had done to impair their marriage. Finally, in the end, he requested that the marriage be dissolve and that whatever marital property they had acquired be equally distributed. He had also indicated that he wasn't seeking any form of support from her and wanted nothing from her. In short, he wanted a clean, uncomplicated, uncontested divorce. She smiled wobbly, realizing that that was so much like Scott, always wanting things done in an efficient organized manner.
The final two pages of the document was the Affidavit of Defendant. It was what she was suppose to sign, in which she agreed to all the terms of the divorce Scott's attorney had outlined. She pushed air out through puckered lips. This was it. Reading every single word of the document finally hit home that this was the endgame. Again, she marveled that this was really happening and she had brought all of this upon herself. One truly did reap what they sowed.
She needed to set her plan in motion as soon as possible and in order to get started, she had to leave the mansion's grounds. With Charles' FOH ban still in effect, she was going to need the help of someone whom she could trust and who didn't despise her. Settling the document on the desk with trembling hands, she reached across to pick up the telephone and dialed Hank McCoy's extension. After gaining Hank's consent to help her, she stood and gathered her things. As she walked out of the classroom, her mind was set on enlisting the help of another to finalize her plans. With a final glance out of the window, she noticed that the rain, lightning and rain had ceased and was replaced with light sprinkling showers. Hopefully, a good sign, she thought. Smiling to herself, she silently thanked Ororo for giving her the push she needed to accept the consequences of her actions and finally helping her to see what she needed to do to begin the healing process. Inadvertently, Ororo had given her the light in the darkness she was seeking.
