"Okay, explain again why we're heading to New York. And don't say for a hunt because I seriously doubt anything would be stupid enough to stick it's head out where the supers could find them," said Sam.

Dean snorted. Sam was as perceptive as ever. He seemed to take the news his brother was a 'demi-god' currently stuck in human form in stride...after all, even though Dean had clearly reconciled with who he really was and knew how to go back without permission, he had stayed by Sam's side rather than go home. He chose to keep his mortal form rather than return.

And for that, Sam trusted him. Dean was still Dean, no matter who he was or what he had done.

"Long story short there's going to be a battle soon. So I figured we could have a few days off before it started, get involved...and possibly steal a shiny stick that's really unsafe in human hands, much less the one who's currently being controlled by a mad titan," said Dean finally.

Sam put two and two together.

"The battle is the reason you were banished, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And you were being controlled?"

"Mostly as a way to flip off Odin, since the one being controlled was...is...close to him, yes. But no one even took the time to freaking notice that something was wrong in the first place," said Dean bitterly.

If they had bothered to look, and he meant really look at him, then Thor would have seen his eyes were the wrong color. The same color as Barton's were after Loki took control of him.

It didn't help that the last time Thor saw Loki, he had been working through some anger issues and the revelation that Odin wasn't his biological dad. That coupled with always being ignored in favor of Thor had made Loki bitter.

Dean had come to realize that while he might have been a total man-whore the likes to rival Stark, just without the cash or fame, at least he hadn't been a total child.

No, Loki hadn't been forced to grow up at an early age in order to protect his brother. He hadn't been forced to handle the responsibility of raising not only himself, but his younger brother since John was always too busy or drunk.

Dean might be many things, but he would never regret the decision to remain as Dean Winchester, rather than return to Asgard as Loki Odinsson and deal with the bullshit he had left.

At least Dean earned his accomplishments, rather than be overshadowed by his brother. And frankly he thought Loki needed the break.

"If I asked you anything, you're just going to avoid the question, aren't you?" said Sam.

"Probably."

Sam's only request after learning Dean was really a Norse god currently on Odin's shit list? That if he didn't want to answer a question, tell him outright and not lie.

Lies had nearly torn them apart to begin with, and frankly Sam was sick of them. So was Dean, for all that he was known as Loki Silvertongue. So they decided to be truthful for once, just to test it out.

Seemed to be working so far.

"How bad a battle?"

"There's a reason Odin was pissed. The city might not be leveled, but a lot of people were hurt and an alien army invaded. Coincidentally I may or may not have gotten sticky fingers while getting us some weapons to fight them," said Dean.

"Is..."

"They're hidden really well and you have no idea where I got them. As far as they need to know, I stumbled across a cache they missed," said Dean without missing a beat.

"Should I watch out for anyone?"

"I'll give you a list," said Dean.

He had taken over Barton and learned a lot about the group. And Earth's technology was way behind Asgard. Besides...he still had all the codes Barton had given him. They hadn't thought to change the smaller, more remote bases as a precaution.

Like the base where they had left the Phase Two weapons.

Dean's lips quirked up in an expression Sam had come to realize he was up to no good again. He had a sneaking suspicion who Dean had been before.

Fury was going to be so pissed when this was over and those people in charge of the weapons remembered they existed.

"Do I want to know?"

"Just imagining the expression on the face of the people who previously owned the weapons I 'borrowed'."

Sam rolled his eyes. He didn't want to know. Though he had to admit...Dean as he was now was more fun to be around, so long as you weren't the target of his mischief.

"So since we're going to be in New York for an undetermined amount of time... Can I drag you to a musical or something equally boring?" asked Sam hopefully.

"Sammy, this is a vacation. Of course you can, so long as you agree to hide the booze so I can get drunk if it bored me to tears."

Sam grinned.

"Deal."


"Never again. What the hell do people see in Wicked anyway?"

"Remember that South Park episode?" said Sam, amused.

Dean snorted.

"Oh yeah. The one with the not so subtle subtext. At least it wasn't Cats or worse, The Lion King," said Dean.

"I'm eager, but I'm not cruel enough to drag you to those," deadpanned Sam. "How about Stark Tower?"

"No way in hell. They have cameras, and it's going to be hard enough to hide what I'm about to do without giving them previous video evidence we were here," said Dean immediately.

"...It takes an important role, doesn't it?"

"If by important you mean it's the staging ground used to let the alien army out, then yeah, I'd say it's important. Again, not going near a tower run by a damn AI that won't keep his mouth shut and has cameras everywhere," said Dean.

"Fine. How about a baseball game? Or maybe we can go clubbing..." said Sam dubiously.

"Or we could visit the Statue of Liberty," said Dean.

The more they did to act as regular tourists on a vacation, the less likely it would seem that they had come to New York specifically to interfere. If he could play things off as being in the wrong place at the right time, then maybe he could hide the fact he had essentially stolen an alien artifact from under the Avenger's noses.

Loki enjoyed causing havoc, it was in his nature. And Dean...well, Dean was just an ass who loved to prank people.

Sam was heading to Staten Island without a second thought the second Dean said that. Dean snickered.

For the next two days, the two wandered around New York acting like regular tourists. Dean parked his 'baby' somewhere it would be safe during the fight, but still close enough to run to. Even if he had to pay the parking manager with one of his credit cards and supply a fake ID for the next week.

It wasn't like they could trace it back to him, since it definitely didn't say the name Dean Winchester, and he honestly could care less about the illegality of what he did.

So long as no one was stupid enough to steal his car...and he did make sure to put on a fake plate and hide it under a spell so no one would notice it, after wrecking the cameras where it was parked... he could live with walking.

New York was simply too damn crowded for him to even remotely consider driving, and he wasn't going to risk his car when some idiot cop realized his plates were out of date.

He just hoped whoever owned the car that he stole the 'current' plates from didn't notice anytime soon. Not that Dean cared.


Sam looked wide eyed at the hole in the sky, then turned to Dean.

Dean, who suddenly had a gun that didn't look entirely normal and was handing another to Sam.

"If you see a guy with horns flying around and not getting shot at by aliens, remember that I'm not that person anymore," he said flatly.

Sam nodded, realizing he was about to get a first hand look at who Dean was before he became Dean.


Sam took careful aim and started shooting down the Chitauri, and they looked pissed.

It was nothing to coming face to face with the Hulk though.

The not-so-jolly green giant looked at Sam, then at the gun in his hand. Sam was not an idiot. He promptly lay down the gun and looked the Hulk right in the eye.

The Hulk chuffed, before slamming a Chitauri that had been coming up from behind Sam and heading off.

It took a few seconds for his heart rate to go down. Sam promptly picked up his gun and went back to shooting things.


Dean was helping, even if it was a royal pain in the ass to make it look like his presence at the exact moment the staff would be pushed off the tower and sent plummeting to the ground shortly after Stark fell appear to be a coincidence and particularly fortuitous timing. The fact he could be seen looting weapons by various Avengers, notably Stark who had flown past him twice while he was in the middle of doing so, would help his case when they found out the staff was missing.

And really, delaying the inevitable realization by Thor was a big reason to make it look like he had only taken the staff for a convenient weapon was another big seller.

The cell towers were down, and Sam knew where he had hidden the Impala, so when he was ready he could go and wait in the car for Dean to show up and for them to drive off like they always did...once Dean disabled the cameras and made it look like a particularly unfortunately bad hit from the Chitauri.

The building he chose was just inside the blast zone, but not so far away that the aliens never reached the area. A few stragglers would hit the buildings close to the car, but not destroy it. Making it look like they had used the parking structure as a launch pad to them would be cake walk.

Besides, he had stolen one of their staffs and if he hit them from behind no one would be able to tell who destroyed the cameras. Especially if he made it look like collateral damage in the first place.

Seeing Loki fly around acting like an incredibly spoiled child who was pissed at his dad and eager to take it out on the one person who loved him the most, Dean had to shake his head.

Though he would honestly claim he almost had a heart attack the second Castiel appeared without warning when he was looting.

"Son of... Don't do that!"

"Dean, why are you in New York?" said Castiel, emitting his natural puppy dog vibes and radiating a clear hint of disapproval.

"What, the idiots upstairs took offense that Sam and I needed a vacation, and our bad luck happened to kick in?" said Dean offended.

"More along the lines of they are wondering why you are actively fighting against the Asgardians."

"First off, the horned guy is the one leading the alien army. Second the hammer happy moron with the lightning is fighting them too," said Dean irritably.

"My superiors have demanded that I remove you from the area at once."

"Not a chance in hell. Maybe once the fighting dies down and I'm certain the civilian casualties will be kept to a minimum, you can take me and Sam out of here with the Impala, but I'm staying."

Castiel tilted his head for a moment, before sighing.

"My superiors are displeased, but agree to wait until after the fighting has died down enough for you to escape," said Castiel. Then he vanished.

Dean wondered how they'd react if they knew the entire reason they had chosen to take their vacation was so that Dean could steal an alien artifact.

Then he decided it would probably go hand in hand with their anger when they found out who he had been before. He grinned.

He almost wished he could see their faces when that revelation hit.

It was bound to be absolutely hilarious.


With the Avengers...

"So, anyone have an idea who our two mystery good Samaritans with fancy weapons are?" asked Tony. The smaller one with the short hair always made a point to avoid allowing Tony to get a clear view his face, while the other one usually had his back turned when he flew over.

"Good Samaritans?" repeated Natasha incredulous.

"Tall guy with wavy hair and some fancy gun, and a slightly shorter one with a hair cut to match Barton's," clarified Tony. "Couldn't really get a decent look at their faces."

"No idea. Did you get a look at the weapons?" said Steve.

"If I didn't know any better I'd swear it was the same one you dropped on the table in the helicarrier," said Tony.

"That's impossible. All Phase Two weapons were moved..." started Natasha, before she remembered something.

"Yes?"

"These good Samaritans...are they only aiming at the Chitauri or are they targeting civilians?" asked Natasha seriously.

"Well the big guy ran into one of them, and then knocked off one of the aliens before moving on," offered Tony.

"Stark, see if you can't get a picture of the two men you saw," said Natasha seriously. If they were only killing Chitauri, then they weren't with Loki...which really begged the question where they got the guns, if they really were the other Phase Two prototypes. Not all the weapons had been taken to the helicarrier, and they should have been told if one of the bases holding them had been compromised or robbed.

Tony didn't get what the deal was, but figured they'd say something later.

So he attempted to get a picture of the two men.

He managed to get a partial of the tall one, but the slightly shorter one somehow knew to avoid being seen by cameras.

Which really begged the question why he felt the need to hide from them.

Of course the picture he took was damaged beyond recovery when he crash landed.


Dean was grinning evilly as the staff fell into his hand. Or almost did.

He had failed to take into account that the damn thing would be falling at terminal velocity from a tall height, and that his body was still human.

He cursed when he felt his arm break, but managed to smuggle the staff under his shirt and past his waist band. So long as he didn't need to run or make any funny movements, no one would notice he had the thing.

It took him an hour and fifteen minutes to reach the car, nursing his broken arm. Sam was already waiting, looking tired.

"I've had enough of New York for a while," he said.

"Same here," said Dean, wincing.

Both of them jumped when Castiel suddenly appeared, and took them far from the parking structure without even a warning.

They were dumped in Bobby's yard, and their surrogate father cursed when he heard the thump.

"What the... Why am I not surprised."

"Bobby, you got any painkillers?" asked Dean.

"Only thing I got is Ibuprofen, why?"

"Broken arm," replied Dean succinctly.

"...I'll drive you to the hospital. Sam, you go ahead and get some sleep in the safe room while I take the idjit to get fixed. Unless your angel is willing to heal you up."

"Currently pissed we were in the middle of a fight with someone they avoid," said Dean.

"This have anything to do with the battle in New York?" said Bobby suspiciously.

"I will neither confirm nor deny any accusations of idiocy," replied Sam.

"Damn idjits. Move yer ass Winchester, unless you want to sleep with a broken arm tonight!" said Bobby gruffly.

Sam was quick to head inside, grab a glass of water, and then crash in the basement with the door closed. He actually felt good about what they had done, even if the angels were pissed at them for being there. He had saved more people today than he had in the past several years as a hunter.

He didn't want to be a superhero though. Not a chance in hell.