"Is it a bad thing I want to shake the hand of whoever pranked the Capsickle and Romanov?" asked Stark.
"Even if it was the same person who left the staff, missing a glowing part, looking like that?" asked Bruce.
"Hey, I got good blackmail for that prank. I'm not complaining... much," Tony shot back. Seeing Rogers faint when he realized what the staff looked like had been hilarious. No way was Tony letting him live that down.
"Even if it was from Loki?" said Clint. He still hadn't forgiven the jerk for what he did.
"Depends on whether he was Loki or not. Didn't Thor say their dad banished him here to live as a human without his memories?" said Tony.
Clint growled.
"If I find him, I'm punching him in the face. And none of you try to stop me," he said flatly.
"Considering what he pulled, we'll be nice. You can punch him twice," said Tony, not actually joking for once.
"Or we'll let you shoot him in the ass with an arrow," said Natasha. Clint perked up.
"I just want to know how the hell they keep getting past Jarvis."
"I believe I can answer that, Man of Iron."
"Thor! What are you doing back so soon?"
"Heimdall has noticed an unusual amount of activity from Helhiem. Unfortunately with Loki currently banished until his memories return or Odin allows him to come home, we had no one able to visit Hel. So my mother went, if only for a visit."
"Wait...Hell is real?" said Steve.
"I think he means the Norse Goddess of the Dead," clarified Bruce.
Thor pulled out...an ornate hand mirror.
"This is a scrying mirror, enchanted to speak across realms. Hel has one in her domain, though she only speaks to Loki. Here's the interesting thing... according to Hel, Loki's memories were broken by accident already."
"Wait... you're telling us Loki is the one who's been pranking us?" said Tony incredulous.
Thor nodded.
"Loki has visited his daughter three times already, and my mother Frigga saw weapons in Hel's realm. From what she was told, Loki left them there to avoid being 'busted' for having something he 'borrowed'."
Natasha narrowed her eyes.
"You're telling us Loki is the thief who left that pink paint trap? And that he stole the staff only to return it a month later? Fury's going to be pissed."
"Wait, if Loki remembers who he is, why hasn't..." started Steve.
"Hel refused to say, stating there is a reason his memories were broken early. Frigga had to leave quickly because whatever that reason was, it angered her greatly. Anything that angers Hel is not something one would wish to trifle with."
"Thor, do you think you could ask this...Hel...if she could explain why Loki robbed a minor base for guns?" asked Natasha.
"She made it clear she wasn't in the mood to deal with any more Asgardians, save her father. Though she did seem amused initially. I think he's been sharing his pranks with her again," said Thor.
"Well at least it solves part of the mystery as to where the good Samaritans got those guns. Either they're in contact with Loki's mortal self, or one of them is Loki," said Steve.
Because they avoided the cameras, or just shot the ones they could find, there were no definitive pictures of the two men. It was driving Fury up the wall, because the council refused to stop bitching about the missing prototypes.
"Well, it's official. Thor knows I'm active and he's going to be on the lookout for us," said Dean tiredly.
"Do they know you're behind the pranks?" asked Sam.
"They will with my next one. Now how am I going to get the green Kool-Aid into Banner's shower?"
"Why green?"
"Banner is the Hulk, or the not-so-jolly green giant."
Sam made a face.
"Oh, him. I remember him alright."
"What."
"I ran into him while I was fighting on the outskirts. I took one look at him, put down the gun and looked him in the eye. He took out a Chituari and kept moving since I wasn't stupid enough to attack him, and he wasn't actually going after me at the time."
Dean winced.
"I remember him too...just as Loki. He came up to the penthouse and delivered the mother of all beat downs and left me in a lot of pain while I waited for my advanced healing to kick in."
"Well we always knew I was the smarter of the two of us," said Sam smugly.
"Bitch," said Dean annoyed.
"Jerk. So can I help with a prank?"
"Absolutely. I knew I'd end up corrupting you sooner or later!" said Dean, pleased.
"Keep telling yourself that Dean," said Sam amused.
Dean allowed Loki out to play. Mostly because it was Oktoberfest, and there was really very little for them to do until they actually found the monster. Considering what they were after, it was likely a shapeshifter.
Sam could tell immediately when Dean shifted into Loki.
Dean had this cocky, but confident aura about him that just screamed "Bad Boy" to women. That confidence was backed up with being competent in dangerous situations, a fact women found highly attractive. The fact he had perfected a style of flirting that suited him meant he was rarely wanting for a bed partner.
Loki, however, had a sophisticated aura combined with a subtle arrogance that would spring up at unusual times. His speech was slightly antiquated, but at the same time eloquent in a way Dean simply couldn't copy...not that he would want to. There was also this hum of power that was hidden in Dean.
Loki was the guy who was invited to the fancy parties where the food was in tiny portions and where everything was beyond civilized.
Dean was the one who knew where the fun parties were and could hold his own in a drinking contest, all while somehow coaxing women into his bed.
They were practically polar opposites in almost every way, and yet they meshed so seamlessly that it was only long exposure to his brother that allowed Sam to know when they switched places.
"Dean letting you out to play?"
Loki smirked.
"He said my expertise on what might be a shapeshifter would come in handy...and that he wants me to loosen up. I do believe he's trying to get me to emulate Volstagg. Actually..."
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"
"How drunk do people get on these events?"
"The beer is cheaper and drinking is encouraged. So very."
"Well, Hel could use a vacation..." said Loki musing.
Sam turned to look at Loki.
"Hel as in Hel the Norse Goddess of the Underworld and supposedly one that is half-corpse and half living?" he repeated.
"Actually thanks to spells one side of her body just looks lighter than the other. It was the best I could find on short notice," replied Loki.
"In that case she has a decent chance of a few one-night stands due to beer goggles and the availability of alcohol," said Sam.
"My daughter is going to love me if this works out."
"Wait. Hel actually is your daughter? What about Fenrir?" said Sam.
Loki blinked, before he remembered something about Sam.
"I honestly forgot that you're a dog lover. After I make sure the winged headaches aren't watching, I'll introduce you to Fenrir and his brother."
Sam perked up at that. He absolutely loved dogs, the bigger the better.
Hel not only took Loki up on his suggestion, but to his amusement she ended up dancing with a sober Sam Winchester for hours. He hadn't seen his daughter look so pleased in a long time. Sam definitely fit into Loki's oddball family, and he hadn't even met the Asgardian side properly yet.
And Loki... well, Loki could honestly say he had been accepted by the two hunters, who were more family to him than Odin had ever been. He'd rather stay a hunter than go back, unless he absolutely had to.
And that wasn't getting into the fact that while he was literally in hell, Loki and Dean had been confronted with the results of their actions, past, present...and future.
Loki had seen things while he was in hell, for when he fell, the seal on his memories had been forcibly broken. Under normal circumstances, Loki wouldn't have been SENT to the mortal's hell. He would have gone straight to Helhiem and never had a chance to leave. His actions alone would have barred him from Valhalla.
And during the long nights while Dean and Loki both slept, his mortal self helped him to put things into perspective.
Dean was no saint, far from it...but he could understand redemption. He could understand making mistakes and being guided into a role he didn't want, but accepted anyway.
Just like Loki helped Dean realize that while his relationship with Sam was stronger than even Thor's feelings for Loki...it wasn't exactly healthy. Dean had put himself in the role of a father, in order to compensate for the lack John had left. He had believed he had to protect Sam from everything, even himself.
Loki viewed Sam as a little brother he was fond of, but not as close as what Dean was to his brother. In that, they found a sense of balance of allowing Sam to make his own mistakes and not taking the burden of them unless Sam wanted him to. And, in a paradoxical way, it had brought the Winchesters closer. As had the mutual agreement to never lie to each other again.
They would lie to others, even to Bobby. But they would never lie to one another, even if the subject was something they would prefer never be brought up again.
Like Dean/Loki's stint in hell, or Sam's short-lived relationship with Ruby.
Loki would never be like Thor, always eager for a fight. But he also wouldn't tolerate any of the small insults he had once let slide in Asgard that he knew were spoken behind his back.
The next time he went "home" (and it was easier for Loki to think of Bobby's house as his true home than his rather lavish room in Asgard) he was going to let Dean do most of the talking and hang the rest of them. Odin could banish him from Asgard permanently for all he cared. So long as Sam, Bobby, Thor and Frigga were safe, his interest was negligible.
Hel walked up to her father, amusement clear in her eyes.
"I must admit, I needed this. And Sam is adorable."
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Go, drink some mortals under the table and have fun for once."
Sam had not only SEEN what Hel truly looked like under her disguise, but the fact he hadn't recoiled in disgust was a big point in his favor. Even more so that he had danced with Hel without having to be drunk for it.
Fury was at his wit's end trying to find the thief. Mostly because the Council wouldn't shut up about it.
The thing was that while he had finally managed to narrow down who had stolen it, tracking the thief was almost impossible.
Hunters, those who chose to hunt down threats Fury's own men would be loath to take seriously, much less know how to handle, preferred to live off the grid.
And the only reason he had been able to figure out that much about the thief was because of a single picture of the taller "Good Samaritan" as Stark had flippantly called the two from where a blast managed to uncover a partial tattoo that was caught on camera.
From all appearances it looked like a pentagram inside a sun, and from there it had taken him months to narrow down why it looked so familiar. When he did, he cursed.
Only a Hunter would be able to steal something and manage to stay off the grid enough that S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't immediately pick them up for it. And he could think of a few creatures that having such a weapon would be highly beneficial. He wouldn't let them keep the weapons though...and they'd be lucky if he didn't have them arrested or forced to work off the crime as agents.
If it hadn't been for the partial picture of the anti-possession tattoo, he wouldn't have figured out that much.
Armed with a general idea of what he was looking for, Fury picked up a phone that wasn't connected with his work with S.H.I.E.L.D., and dialed a number he thought he'd never have to use again.
"What do you want Nick?" said a gruff voice on the other end. They had agreed never to speak to another after THAT, but he wanted to get to the bottom of this now.
"Singer. I need information on a pair of hunters that were in New York during the invasion."
There was a far too long pause, before Robert Singer said something that told Fury the matter was more complicated than he'd realized.
"I ain't selling out the idjits, even if you arrest me. Besides, once you do find them it'll open up a can of worms you'd pay to avoid."
"Who are they?"
"The weapons that were stolen are no longer ON Earth, and the one who did it said he's not returning them. They're dangerous enough in human hands and he mostly did it to piss you off. He also stole the staff because it was more powerful than you were aware of and made sure the power source was hidden."
"I can't have those weapons in civilian hands, Singer."
"They only used them in New York. The weapons were removed shortly after, and you don't have to worry about any of your enemies getting their paws on them. I doubt anyone could get past that guard dog, much less his master."
Fury barely avoided a groan.
"What did you mean it would open up a can of worms I'd pay to avoid?"
"Ask the hammer happy moron," was Singer's only response.
Asgardians. Of course.
Fury hung up, but at least now he had a general idea of what was going on. The only question was, which Asgardian and why did they stay in the shadows?
He reached for his official phone and dialed the "Avenger's Tower". He needed to narrow down who he was dealing with before he started tracking down the thief.
