Author's Note: So okay, this chapter is longer than the last one. I think all chapters will now be around 6000 to 7000 words, so yay! Anyway, this was a chapter I really wanted to writer sooner on in the story, but I like where it is, when I think about it. The thing is, I know nothing about kenjutsu, and this attacks are created purely so that I can see them in my mind as a film. The way that Sanji attacks Zoro when disarming him of his sword is attacked from the front because of the way I picture it in my mind, if Sanji had attacked from the back, the sword would've gone flying forward and potentially slashed at Zoro's face, potentially giving him that scar he gets after the time-skip. I personally like Zoro's left eye, so I kinda wanted him to keep it. I don't own One Piece. I know nothing about fighting so the fight scenes are weird, in my opinion. Think of them what you will. This chapter was updated the same day cause I REALLY wanted to know people's reaction to this! And I worked really hard to get it ready for today as well, so sorry if there are mistakes, but don't forget, I will be studying this thing thoroughly once I've reached a point in which I deem this story good and revise everything!


Beautiful Disaster
By: Setkia


Full Summary

Sanji is the assistant cook of the world-renowned restaurant, the Baratie, the only restaurant like it in the world. He's a successful chef and flirts with the customers every chance he can get but there's a problem. It's all a facade. The cooks give a new meaning to the word "abusive", both mental and physical. The only thing keeping Sanji alive is his love for cooking and a good ol' pack of cigarettes.

Zoro Roronoa is a swordsman who suddenly has more change in his pocket than he expected and enters the Baratie by recommendation. His waiter happens to be a curly browed man with an adoration for cigarettes. An attempt speak to the head chef goes horribly wrong and he gets sucked into the crumbling world of the chef's, wondering how he can possibly save him and better yet, why does he want to save him in the first place?


WARNINGS: the following things are present in this chapter of Beautiful Disaster:

Mentions of rape


Chapter 13: Come Spar With Me


The blond dusted off an invisible speck on his pants before standing up right again. Ace lifted Sanji's arm, declaring him the winner of yet another drunk bar fight.

"You're staring."

Zoro jumped at Nami's voice. He turned to her and frowned. "So what?" he asked. "I need to make sure the bastard doesn't injure himself," he told her. "It's a free country, isn't it?"

Nami shook her head with a sigh. "You're so clueless."

Zoro decided it'd be best not to ask her and instead, continued to watch as Sanji smiled up at Ace, proud of what he had done. Remembering what Nami had said the first night of Sanji's appearance, he turned to her, alarmed. "How much did you steal?"

"It's not stealing if they're offering," Nami pointed out. Zoro's eyes narrowed. "Sanji made a lot."

Zoro shook his head. "You're getting my friend involved in gambling and he doesn't even know it!" He sighed. "Honestly, what are we going to do with you?"

"Love me anyway?" Nami winked at him. She leaned closer onto the table and took a glass from a passing by waiter. "But seriously, you know your boy's making tons of money. It's about time he actually got it," she said. "I mean I keep the money after they hand it in and I give about 75 percent back to the bidders, but the other 25, I dunno, I could give Sanji say … 2?"

"2?" Zoro repeated. "If you're going to make money off of him, at least give him some serious cash!"

"Oh please! 2 percent of what Sanji makes is like, over 12 and you know it. He's good," she added, glancing at the cook out of the corner of her eye. "Hard to believe he's never actually gotten into real fights before. Shame he's wasted on the poor old drunks in this joint. In a good fight, like the one against Luffy, he'd make twice as much, if not three times."

Zoro blinked. "You think so?"

"I know so." She smirked and leaned closer. "You wanna know how much you'd make?"

"What do you mean how much I'd make? I haven't fought since you started this weird betting pool, how are you supposed to know how much I'd make?"

"I can guess. Based on their liking for your fights beforehand, how many people were screaming your name and your popularity with the women …" she trailed off. "Plus, factor in your good-looks, your charm, your fighting style, your body—"

"What does my body have to do with this?" Zoro demanded.

"Honey, the only reason Sanji doesn't get triple of what most people bet, besides the fact that his opponents can't stand upright to begin with, is because he doesn't show any skin. He's probably got thousands of muscles underneath that jacket—"

"Blazer," Zoro corrected instinctively.

"Whatever, but you on the other hand, are not afraid to show a little skin." Nami let the ice circle in her glass before taking a shot. "So anyway, as I was saying, considering those past features you have, add in your actual fighting ability and then make the assumption you're fighting someone of … say Luffy's caliber, like what Sanji did, and I'd say you'd make at least 50."

"Is that from the 2 percent or overall?"

Nami smirked. "Interested?" She shook her head. "The 50 would probably be from the 25 that I take."

"Are we taking hundreds?"

"Hundreds?" Nami raised an eyebrow. "Baby, we're taking thousands!"

Zoro sunk down in his seat, letting this settle in. He looked at Nami carefully. He did need money to pay the rent. Two months with Sanji and paying wasn't getting any easier, what with the large supply of food that Sanji insisted they have to make cooking easier for him and then the television bills Sanji gave him … Plus, the man liked long showers. "How much would someone pay to see a fight between Sanji and I?"

Nami stared at him. "You're serious?"

Zoro nodded. "I need to pay rent, somehow."

Nami looked at him with a strange expression, as though she were trying to figure out whether or not he was telling the truth. She seemed to decide he was and nodded promptly. Zoro could see the gears in her brain working as she tried to consider all the variables and other factors that Zoro might not have thought of. "Depends what kind of fight," she said finally. "Would you be fighting the way you usually do, or would you be fighting taking it seriously?"

"Say it's a serious fight," Zoro said. "What would it be?"

Nami scrunched up her nose in thought. "Provided Sanji makes you shed your top while fighting and the fight lasts about half an hour at least, I'd say you'd get about 45 and Sanji'd get about 39. That's at the current skill level he's at. I mean, he's good this way, but if he were to fight you, you'd need to train him a bit. A little blood spilt in a match isn't that big of a deal, but with the way you fight, Sanji would be bleeding out. If you were able to get him to about your skill level while you fought seriously, I'd say … 15 for you and 12 for Sanji."

"But that's less than at Sanji's current level—"

"I'm not talking thousands," Nami said. "I'm talking millions."

"M-millions?"

Nami nodded. "If you train the guy right, you'd be able to pay rent for your entire life and then some." She smirked. "You interested?"

"Curious," Zoro replied. He turned back to the latest fight that Sanji was in. The guy was clearly drunk from the way he staggered. With a kick that barely packed a punch, he was keeling over screaming "mercy!".

A real fight against Sanji, huh? That might be fun.


"You want to what?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. Honestly, this random exclamations on Sanji's part were beginning to get tiresome. It was kind of cute at the beginning, but now— no, it was still cute. But in a totally platonic way with no hints of homosexuality towards that thought, like the way girls seemed to call everything cute, including science test tubes. That kind of cute. Sort of. Did I just think of Sanji as a test tube? Zoro shook his head. "I'm only going to say this one more time, alright?" He took a deep breath and began. "You're a good fighter. You beat up a ton of people at Partys and Nami's gotten into putting money on every fight that happens. She gets a lot of money off of Luffy and you. She gives back 75 percent of the pool to the ones who bid, and keeps 25 percent for herself. I spoke to her and it took some time, but she's decided she's willing to give us 10 percent of the money from her 25 percent. I wanted 15, but she told me 10 was more than enough. Anyway, you make about 27 to 33 thousand per fight in total. She assumes that I would make about 42 to 50 thousand in total. Now she says if we fought against each other, provided you worked on your kicks, we'd make at least 10 million per fight."

Sanji simply stared at him.

"In short, I want to train you."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Train me? Am I a dog now?"

"No," Zoro replied, "you know what I mean. While you're good, in a serious fight against me you'd last maybe thirty minutes, if you're lucky. I can teach you endurance and how to defend yourself—"

"I thought you said savate was a form of self-defence anyway," Sanji pointed out.

"That's true, but what you do isn't savate. It's … some kind of screwed up version of savate and your own personal style that I can't really describe," Zoro said. "Anyway, will you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Let me train you."

Sanji seemed deep in thought as he looked at Zoro. Zoro could feel his palms sweating under Sanji's intense gaze. He wasn't sure how to take the blond staring at him with that blue eye of his. He was tempted to ask Sanji about his other eye, the one that was hidden underneath a curtain of golden hair, but thought better of it considering how deeply Sanji was thinking.

Finally, Sanji spoke.

"Does this mean I can pay rent?"

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly."

Zoro shook his head. "I ask if I can train you in order to help us gain large copious amounts of money and your only response is 'can I pay rent?'?!" He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "You're unbelievable."

"Is that a no?"

"No," Zoro admitted.

"No that's not a no, or no that's a no?"

"Tu es ennuyant, savais-tu? Vraiment, je ne sache pas comment je n'ai pas tu tuer déjà!"

Sanji frowned. "You're speaking French again."

"Je sais!"

Sanji shook his head. "Honestly, you know I can't understand a single thing you're saying right now," he told him. "If you want me to cooperate, saying mean things behind my back won't do you any good, it'll just make me more inclined to ignore your request. And we could be making millions right now if you weren't wasting time talking about croissants and shit."

"Croissants and shit?" Zoro repeated. "What the fuck do you think the French are?"

"Gay," Sanji replied with a shrug. "What? You don't find?"

Zoro shook his head. "That's not the point! The point is I'm trying to be polite by asking you to train with me. We could be like, sparring partners or something. If you're up for it and all, but if you don't want to, fine. I'll just fight Luffy and make my millions another way." Zoro turned to leave when he felt Sanji's hand on his shoulders.

Zoro's whole body shivered.

All physical contact between the two men had been started by Zoro. It was mainly because sometimes, he forgot about what Sanji had gone through. Sanji never initiated contact because it probably brought back bad memories. He still had the occasional tendency to flinch when Zoro tapped his shoulder to get his attention. It was … different, having Sanji touch him rather than him touching Sanji. He felt as though he had made progress of some sort.

Sanji let go of him instantly and tried to pass off how shaken he was by smirking. "Are your fights really worth 50?"

"Yeah, so?"

Sanji crossed his arms triumphantly. "Prove it, Marimo."

Oh, he was going to regret that.


"This," Zoro said, pulling out a sword from its sheath, "is Sandai Kitetsu."

Sanji stared at the blade. Zoro could admit he found the blade to be pretty, if that was an acceptable word to describe weapons that could murder someone in the blink of an eye. He took pride in owning it and enjoyed the impressed expression on Sanji's face as he looked at it. He expected Sanji to say something about how cool it looked, or how creepy, but instead Sanji merely frowned, once the wonder wore off.

"Where's Wado?"

Zoro snorted. "You think you deserve to be fought with her?" Zoro shook his head. "We start small and then work our way up," he told him. "You're going to start off with Sandai here."

"How many swords do you own?" Sanji asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Three," Zoro replied.

"Three?" Sanji repeated. "Who needs three swords? Do they go on a rotation or something? Like, one day you use the white one and the other day you use this one and then on Wednesdays you decide to use the third?"

"There's no rotation schedule," Zoro told him as though he were crazy. "I fight with all three. I told you, I practice Santoryu, three-sword-style."

Sanji stared at him. Apparently, the cook had forgotten Zoro's little monologue of random facts about himself. "Seriously?" he demanded. Then he frowned. "Then why aren't you fighting me with three swords?"

"Do you think you could handle three swords right now?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow at Sanji.

Sanji bit his lip, honestly thinking about it.

The guy couldn't be cocky enough to believe that he could honestly handle three sharp blades, all attacking him with full force. "Well I mean, realistically, no," Sanji admitted. "But I think I could maybe. Someday."

Zoro nodded. "Until then, you'll be fighting with me and I'll be using one sword. When I think you're ready, I'll fight with two and finally, three," Zoro explained. "Now, are we going to start?"

Showing Sanji the large empty area in his apartment had shocked the cook. Somehow, during the two months in Zoro's apartment he had never stumbled across the alcove which was where Zoro practiced his skills and kept his swords. It had taken a while for Sanji to get over it, but once he had, Zoro told him the way it would work.

"We're going to spar. There are no limits. This isn't like the bar fight, in this fight, we keep going until we can't get up. There will be no judges, other than ourselves. I hope you don't like that shirt you're wearing," he added, nodding towards the light blue shirt with the fancy-looking cuffs. "Cause there's a pretty high chance it'll rip."

"You just try it," Sanji challenged.

And then they begun.

Zoro took the first strike. He lunged forwards with his sword, swiping down. Sanji jumped away in surprise, the blade barely missing him. The others at the bar were good, some might actually be good opponents, Zoro could admit, but even Luffy didn't have the speed Zoro did. Sanji stared at Zoro in shock, as though he couldn't believe his eyes.

"You're seriously trying to kill me, aren't you?"

Zoro shook his head. "Stay focused," he told him, pivoting and striking at Sanji's side.

Sanji dodged, stepping aside. His speed could use some work, but Sanji was a fast learner. When Zoro went to lunge at him again, Sanji quickly moved behind him. For a second, Zoro was surprised at the cook's sudden speed. That second was long enough to be struck in the back of the head by Sanji's foot.

"Fuck, take off your shoes!" Zoro told him, rubbing his head. He raised his sword again in front of him, eyeing Sanji. What were his weak points? When Zoro watched Sanji fight, he rarely ever payed attention to where the opponents attacked, not that if he did it'd do any good since Sanji had them on their knees in a mater of seconds. Where was he weak?

Analyze Zoro, analyze. His hips are his centre of balance, that's where his power comes from. He won't use his hands so you don't need to waste time dodging attacks from his arms. His legs are long, so they can probably hit a large radius. Any part of his body is precious to him. Slash at his arm, he has trouble in the kitchen. Attack his legs, he has no defence. But if you attack his legs, he might just kick you in the face. If you attack his arms, that's it for food. Fuck, where do you strike? Where, where, where?!

"Too slow!"

WHAM!

Sanji's foot collided with Zoro's chest and he slammed into the wall. He slipped down to the floor and stood back up. He was over thinking things, if he didn't think and just let his instincts take over, Sanji wouldn't be beating him. Don't think, he told himself. Don't think, just do it.

Zoro pushed himself forward off the wall to see Sanji trying to light up a cigarette. He thought Zoro was beaten. Idiot.

Zoro quickly raised his sword and slashed at Sanji's arm. Sanji stepped back and made a move to kick him, but Zoro's blade stopped him. He pushed forcefully forward and Sanji staggered back, trying to balance on one foot. He regained his balance and smirked at Zoro.

"Getting serious now, are we?" he teased.

Zoro went for Sanji's arm again, but the cook dodged and instead, his foot wrapped around Zoro's ankle the way Zoro remembered he did to Luffy. The problem with this position was that while it seemed Sanji had control, with his leg wrapped around Zoro's ankle, the opposite was also true. Zoro kicked his foot outward and Sanji had to let go, lest he fall over.

Zoro gripped the hilt a little tighter. Taking the sheath, he used it to block Sanji's attack to his head. He pushed forward again and Sanji jumped back.

Sanji gritted his teeth. Running towards the wall, Sanji kicked his way up and came down in an circle, using the momentum to kick Zoro in the back. Zoro was pushed forward towards the wall, but he quickly spun around and raised his sword to Sanji's falling figure. Sanji then twisted his body and grabbed Zoro's shoulders to flip himself over the green-haired man, landing on his feet behind the swordsman.

"Not bad," Zoro admitted.

He struck harshly at Sanji's feet and the cook stepped back, but he was now pressed up against the wall. Using his sheath, Zoro struck Sanji in the head, the blond recoiling instinctively, exposing his neck to Zoro. With his back pressed up against the wall and his head back, he looked remarkably vulnerable. Zoro took too long to admire the view (for what reason he considered this a "view" or something worth admiring, he'd never admit, not that he even knew) because when he finally made his next move, Sanji had too.

Using the hilt of his sword, Zoro thrust it into Sanji's stomach the same moment Sanji kicked upwards, successfully kicking Zoro in the balls.

Zoro staggered back and tried not to fall to the floor. Fuck, that hurt. Sanji just smirked at him, but he looked slightly winded.

Zoro took a second to regain his composure before launching himself forward, striking Sanji's chest with the sheath and then following up with a strike to the forehead using the butt of his sword. Sanji ducked quickly, but the sword still hit the crown of his head. He slipped to the floor, underneath Zoro. He wrapped his foot around Zoro's ankle and pulled him down to his level before Sanji stood back up and dusted off his hands.

"Easy," he said, staring at the slightly dazed Zoro.

What the fuck just happened?

"You're panting," Zoro told him. "It wasn't that easy."

Sanji took a deep breath, trying to stop his erratic breathing, but it was useless since Zoro had already noticed it and was smirking. "So what? So are you."

Zoro sat up and felt his brow, feeling sweat pour down. "So I am," he muttered.


Water break time meant lying on the couch with the TV running some mindless show while Zoro and Sanji dosed themselves in cold water.

With his head tossed back, Zoro poured half of his water bottle over his head. He opened his mouth, catching small drips of it.

"Your couch is getting wet," Sanji told him.

"So?"

Sanji sat forward a bit and glanced at Zoro. "So, what's the story with that sword?" he asked, pointing toward Sandai.

Zoro looked at him. "You want to know the story behind my swords?"

"I dunno, know thy enemy?" Sanji shrugged. "I mean Wado had an interesting story so I figure this one must have one, right?"

Zoro shook his head. "Sorry, but in my opinion, no sword's story matches Wado's." He put his water bottle down and stared at the strange drama that was on TV. He turned it off and turned to Sanji. "I'll tell you, if you really want to know though."

"Okay, so what's the story?" asked Sanji.

"Well, the blade's said to be cursed," Zoro began.

"Cursed?" Sanji repeated. "What, like haunted or something?"

"No, the shop owner just told me it was cursed, no specifics, not that I believe in them anyway." Zoro shrugged. "Anyway, it's said that those who owned this sword in the past were vicious murders who always came to horrible ends. The thing they had in common was this sword," he gestured towards it. "Personally, I don't believe in that bullshit, but not everyone's a skeptic."

"So how much was it?"

"The sword?" Zoro took a deep gulp of water. "Free."

"What do you mean it was free?" Sanji gave him a look that clearly said he thought Zoro was lying. "Nothing's for free."

"Oxygen is," Zoro said.

"No it isn't. In order to breathe oxygen, you have to keep breathing, in order to keep breathing, you have to keep living, in order to live, well, it costs a heck of a lot," Sanji said. "Oxygen isn't free."

Zoro shrugged. "Either way the sword was free. The shop owner was terrified of it, said it was totally cursed and going to kill me in my sleep or something. Sounded like Chucky went samurai to me to be honest." He shook his head. "He gave it to me cause I told him I wanted it. He just wanted to get it off his hands. It's a good thing too, cause I was short on cash anyway so I probably couldn't have afforded it anyway."

Sanji nodded slowly. "Hmm … what about your other sword? The third one?"

"We'll get to it when it comes," Zoro said with a shrug.

Sanji nodded before shaking his head and ruffling Zoro's hair once more. "You look like a drowned cat," he said with a laugh. Zoro tried to avoid Sanji's hands, but he failed immensely and the cook merely grinned while Zoro crossed his arms and bared with it. "A screwed up, green cat, but still, a drowned cat all the same."

Zoro stayed silent, though he didn't like it. People messing with his hair annoyed him and if the cook's nickname was any indication, he enjoyed making fun of his hair above all other features. Zoro picked his feet up from the floor and crossed them, frowning.

"Scratch that, you look like Garfield," Sanji decided. "All grumpy and shit, if Garfield fell into a tub of green paint. You sure this is your natural hair colour?"

A comeback was on the tip of his tongue, but Zoro held it back. He wasn't even going to mention that Sanji had just called him fat, by associating him with that fur-ball. There was silence as Sanji's hands continued to run through Zoro's hair softly and slowly. Zoro wouldn't let himself think about it too much, but it kind of felt … good to have Sanji playing with his hair like that. Okay, fine, he'd admit it felt nice. But that didn't mean anything and he wasn't ever going to repeat it.

"You know," Sanji said, his voice sounding far off, "you wouldn't think it'd be soft, but it's really fluffy."

Immediately, Zoro jumped from the couch. "You did not just call my hair fluffy," he snapped.

"And what if I did?"

"Then … Then …" Zoro's face turned red, with anger or embarrassment, he didn't know, but he did know that Sanji was annoying him. "Shut up!"

"Run out of good insults, Marimo?" asked Sanji teasingly.

"Say that again, I dare you!"

"Ma-ri-mo," Sanji repeated, elongating each syllable.

"That's it, break time's over!"


When Sanji came into the alcove and folded his blazer, putting it aside, he stopped short when he noticed that instead of one sheath by Zoro's side, there were two sheaths. It had been about two weeks since they had begun and Zoro was certain Sanji was tired of one sword. He had been begging Zoro to let him fight against more than one since sparring with Zoro had become a joke now that Sanji could read Zoro's movements.

"Seriously?" he asked when he saw the two sheaths.

"Sanji, meet Yubashiri."

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Still no Wado?"

"You'll get to fight against Wado when you're ready for her," Zoro snapped. "Do you have a problem with that?" he demanded.

Sanji shook his head and stared at the blade. "This one … I think it competes against Wado for beauty," he said.

So Zoro wasn't the only one who appreciated the aesthetics of swords. "Intimidated?" Zoro asked with a smirk.

"It just … looks royal," Sanji admitted. "How'd you get your hands on it?"

"That's a story for another day," Zoro told him. "Now are you ready to fight?"

Sanji took a deep breath, sizing up the sword as though by looking at it hard enough, he'd figure out how it worked. "Okay."

They began.

Zoro struck once with Sandai, aiming at Sanji's chest while Yubashiri was aimed at the junction between his knees. It snaked around Sanji's body and wedged itself between his knees. Almost immediately, Zoro pulled and Sanji forced himself to bend over backwards and stand up a bit away from Zoro.

"That thing's sharp," said Sanji.

"All the better to slice you with, my dear," Zoro teased before lunging forward and using both swords to attack at Sanji's arms. Sanji backed away and lifted his foot to fight, but Zoro held it in place with his two swords. Sanji's leg was now caught between both blades. If Sanji moved, he'd probably cut himself somewhere and then there'd be blood.

Unlike Sanji, when Zoro fought, he didn't need to protect any part of his body and so this gave him free-range. He kicked at Sanji's abdomen but the blond leaned back. Then, somehow that Zoro couldn't describe, Sanji's hands came out and planted on the floor. He used them to lift himself up, while his foot was still stuck between Zoro's swords, forcing Zoro's arms to move with his foot as it lifted over Sanji's head and finally, slammed down onto the floor behind him.

The swords wedged themselves into the floorboards and Sanji aimed a kick at Zoro's chin, causing the man to stagger back. He took a blow to the stomach before one of his hands wrapped tightly around Sandai. With a forceful tug, he pulled the sword out and attacked Sanji with it. Sanji, more familiar with Zoro fighting single-sword style, easily dodged.

Zoro then kicked at Sanji's feet, but it did nothing to waver the man. Zoro made an attempt at a slicing through Sanji's shirt, but Sanji dodged. Dodging it though caused Sanji to hit the floor and with those few seconds it took Sanji to get up, Zoro took Yubashiri out from the floor.

Once Sanji was standing, Zoro used the hilt of the sword to hit Sanji forcefully in the ribs, causing him to lose his breath and stagger slightly. Zoro then took the other sword and made a quick cut across Sanji's waist area. A belt loop in his pants broke off.

Zoro smirked, satisfied but Sanji then launched himself at Zoro, kicking at Zoro's chest. Zoro fell backwards, winded. Sanji took aim and kicked squarely where Zoro's neck was. It stung like a bitch. Hoarse and having slight difficultly breathing, Sanji was sure that Zoro couldn't make another move, but Zoro drove his sword into the ground next to Sanji's feet. The cook backed up and Zoro regained his balance, breathing heavily.

DING, DONG! DING, DONG!

The two paused in their fight and Zoro took the sword out of the floor. Brushing his brow, he sent Sanji a glare. "This isn't over yet."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sanji replied with a smirk.

Zoro opened the apartment door to see Luffy and Nami standing before them.

Luffy looked at Zoro strangely, then turned to Nami. "They aren't having sex, Nami. I told you they were fighting."

Zoro blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then—

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Luffy grinned at him. "Nami told me you two were having sex," he said. "Because she came by yesterday and heard lots of yelling and grunting, but I told her that wasn't likely since you're like a virgin and probably wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of an experienced person like Sanji," Luffy told him.

"I reiterate, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Sanji walked over at that moment and grinned, seeing Nami. "Hello, sweetheart," he said with a smile.

Zoro had learnt pretty early on Sanji had a weakness for good looking women. It annoyed him to no end. He was training Sanji so he'd get better, not so he could flirt with girls! Logically speaking, Zoro knew his thought process made no sense, but he wasn't willing to admit it. Sanji's flirting and his process in training had nothing to do with each other.

Nami frowned. "I was hoping I'd see something good," she said with a sigh. "You're disappointing, Zoro."

"What? How the fuck am I disappointing? And what the fuck made you think we were having sex?" he demanded.

Sanji froze at the word, his entire body stilling.

Zoro wasn't sure why it was. There were tons of reasons why Sanji could've frozen up. It could've been because of the cooks, or it could've been because of the way Zoro had said it. It could've been because of the way Sanji seemed to be doing so well, only to fall back down. Was sex just a touchy subject for the blond? Zoro didn't really care, he didn't plan on talking to Sanji about it any time soon, or ever really, anyway.

"Look, why are you here?"

"To confirm what Nami said," Luffy said with a shrug. "But now that we're here, can you make me some pork chops?" he asked Sanji.

Sanji stared at him. "Do I look like your personal chef to you?"

"No," Luffy said, "but you're Zoro's. Can't I steal him for one meal?" Luffy begged.

Sanji was Zoro's personal chef? He hadn't thought of it that way. In fact, that thought had never crossed his mind. But if he thought a bit more about it, it did make sense. Using possessive pronouns when it came to the blond … no one owned him, that was the whole point of his being away the Baratie. No one was in control of him and no one had any say in what he did. The whole leaving the Baratie thing was like an act of rebellion. An act of rebellion that Zoro had to force Sanji into doing, but an act of rebellion nonetheless. Which meant that there should be no possessive pronouns when it came to Sanji. But why did hearing Sanji was his personal chef make him this happy?

Sanji sighed. "What kind of pork chops, Luffy?" asked Sanji.

The bastard was going to make Luffy pork chops? That wasn't fair! Sanji had never made Zoro pork chops! But then again, Sanji had never made Luffy a whole feast either. For some reason, that made the swordsman feel triumphant over the captain.

"Good ones," Luffy said with a big grin.

Nami welcomed herself in, collapsing on Zoro's couch while Luffy followed Sanji into the kitchen. She was silent for a while before she turned to him. "So, you took my advice?"

If Zoro ever admitted Nami was right, he would surely die. Instead, he turned away and started looking for the TV remote.

It's for the sake of rent, he told himself. We just need to pay rent. But paying rent probably wouldn't be a problem if he just let Sanji pay in the first place. But just because Zoro was providing hospitality and shelter didn't mean Sanji had to provide payment for rent. At least, not alone. Heck, if Zoro met anyone who cooked like Sanji, then he'd take them under his wing in a second if it meant eating their food daily.

That's a lie and you know it.

The reason why Zoro let Sanji in … Zoro wasn't even sure why. Sometimes he'd wonder why he had decided to abduct the cook in the first place. He told himself it was because the cook was going to die there otherwise, but back then the cook had been like a stranger. If Zoro were to see a guy being mugged on the street, sure, he'd try to help him, but he wouldn't let him into his house and give him a bed and crappy soup.

Does that make Sanji special?

The cook himself was special in his own right. Kicking ass and not even knowing he could do it. The way he cooked, the way he spoke, the way he fucking moved, was special in some way or another and when he fought … Zoro nearly shivered at the thought. When Sanji fought he put everything he had into it, like his cooking. It was passionate, it was fiery and it was just like pure dynamite.

"Thinking about Sanji?"

Zoro was pulled out of his thoughts by Nami. He sent her a glare. "Come on, tell me the real reason you're here," he snapped.

Nami shook her head. "It's just like Luffy says, we wanted to check if you were getting laid or not."

"Liar."

Nami sighed. "Fine. I had another reason, I'll admit, but my main reason was to see if you were getting it on," she added. Shoving her hand deep into her pocket, she pulled out a wad of cash. "It's Sanji's share. For his past fights."

Zoro stared at it. "How much is this?"

"Collectively? About 5 million," Nami said with a shrug.

Zoro stared at the bills and then at Sanji. Did he really bring in that much money?


Luffy, Zoro decided, had to have worse table manners than Zoro.

He watched, amused, as Sanji tried his hardest not to show any sign of repulsion for the way Luffy ate. It was clearly beyond messy and he just seemed to stick his face into his plate and eat it all up, without a single thought.

"Good?" Sanji asked.

Zoro had heard Sanji ask him that question over a million times before.

Luffy nodded, swallowing thickly before giving him a thumbs up sign. "Awesome!"

Sanji turned to Zoro. "We might not have enough meat for tonight though," he admitted. "I wanted to make steak, but it seems as though Luffy's cleared out most of our meat storage."

Luffy had the decency to look at least a little apologetic. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Sanji told him. "I can just have Zoro here pick me up some more tomorrow." He patted Zoro on the shoulder and smirked. "Isn't that right, Zoro?"

"Since when am I your maid?" Zoro demanded.

"I never said you were my maid. Think of it more as … a dog who fetches me food."

Luffy burst out laughing just then, pointing at Zoro. "You … as a dog!" he managed to say through his fit of laughter.

Nami couldn't help but giggle a bit too. "I can picture it now. Zoro's a green dog with large canine ears and sharp teeth but he wags his tail whenever Sanji feeds him left overs."

Zoro frowned. "It's not that funny," Zoro snapped.

"It kind of is," Sanji told him. "Don't pout, I think you'd make an adorable dog."

Adorable? Adorable how? Adorable like you want to pinch my cheeks and cuddle? Or adorable like that little girl who's throwing rocks at that boy she likes is adorable, isn't young love grand adorable? Is it a good kind of adorable or a bad kind? Fuck, what am I thinking?

Zoro ate the rest of his meal in silence.


"Oh my, three sheaths today? Does that mean I get to fight the amazing Wado?"

"Shut up, asshole," Zoro snapped.

"How do you plan on fighting with three swords if you only have two hands?" Sanji asked.

"That," Zoro replied, placing Wado in her usual spot, "is what a mouth is for."

Sanji stared at him.

Zoro took Sandai and Yubashiri out of their sheaths and readied himself while Sanji continued to stare at him. "What?" he asked through the sword.

"You know, most people would look stupid like that," Sanji said. "But for some reason, you don't."

"Glad to know, can we get started?" Zoro muttered through the sword.

And then they started.

Like they had been doing for the past month, Zoro attacked first. Sanji seemed more aware of all the blades than usual. He dodged, being careful to avoid being struck by any of them. Zoro ran towards the confident cook and caught his leg mid-kick in between two of his swords. Using his third one, he cut down Sanji's leg, tearing the hem of his pants.

Sanji backed away from Zoro.

With a fierce kick, he aimed for Zoro's head, but Zoro quickly repositioned himself so that if Sanji went through with his kick, he'd end up being struck by one, or more of Zoro's blades. Sanji had to stop himself and this resulted in an imbalance. He gritted his teeth and took another kick at Zoro, who dodged and countered by using two of his swords to press Sanji up against the wall and the third was dangerously close to Sanji's throat.

Sanji kicked at Zoro's chest, causing the swordsman to stumble back and then, using a handspring, he rested himself on Zoro's shoulders, wrapping his legs around Zoro's head. Zoro raised his swords and threw one up into the air, Sandai, right above his head. Sanji jumped off of him and Zoro dodged the blade as it fell. He caught it once more and then readied himself to attack again.

Sanji stepped on Zoro's toe harshly, then brought one of his legs around and kicked Zoro's knee joint. Zoro's knees buckled and he was left to be resting on one knee. Sanji then kicked at Zoro's back, trying to send the swordsman forward, but Zoro countered by quickly turning his body and pressing against Sanji's foot with his swords.

"Tired?" asked Zoro.

"You wish!"

Sanji bounced off of Zoro's sword and put himself into a corner, considering his strategies. This just meant that he was already backed up.

Zoro made a thrusting motion towards Sanji, but then Sanji did something that surprised him.

Sanji pushed off the wall and flipped. One of his feet came out and struck Wado, kicking so harshly that Zoro's mouth opened in shock and the sword fell out of his mouth. Sanji then stood with his hands in his pockets behind Zoro.

Zoro turned around slowly and glared at him.

Never in all his years had Wado ever suffered such damage. He had never dropped her, never mistreated her. The white katana didn't have a scratch on her that Zoro didn't know exactly how it go there and he polished it himself, not trusting others to look after her. Wado was never thrown aside, no matter what the fight. He had been reluctant to bring her to the bar when the fights had first started, but over time, he grew confident and Wado had yet to be taken from him. Instead though, now Sanji had just thrown Wado away, as though she were trash or just another obstacle in his way.

As Zoro slowly stepped closer to Sanji, he gently put down his swords as he went. Crossing the large distance of the make-shift dojo, Zoro disarmed himself of his swords one by one. When he was finally in front of Sanji, he watched the blond's Adam's apple bob as he gulped.

"Zoro …"

There was something about the way Sanji's lips said his name, the way the word came out sounding breathless. With shaking hands, Zoro reached out to Sanji. He placed a hand on Sanji's cheek and looked into those blue eyes. He wasn't sure what to do, his heart was beating so fast. He let his fingers trace over a small bruise before his hand went lower, tracing the outline of Sanji's lips. Sanji's eyes held so much conflict in them, like he wasn't sure what to do. He bit his bottom lip, biting Zoro's finger softly in the process. Zoro held in a groan. He could see the confusion in Sanji's eyes, the fear. The blond looked like he wanted to step away while at the same time, he couldn't move. Zoro didn't let himself think, thinking was overrated anyway. Instead, he just let himself feel.

His eyes closed, as did the gap.

Soft.

Sanji's lips felt soft. He didn't want to see the terror or confusion on Sanji's face, so he kept his eyes firmly shut as his lips gently slid over Sanji's. There was barely any contact, like the ghost of a breath touching his lips. Sanji stayed frozen and Zoro's lips stayed still for a moment. He waited. His hand that had been tracing Sanji's lips gently rose to cup his cheek, pulling him closer slightly, but Zoro didn't press, he didn't push. He waited for a response.

When he felt the slightest twitch under his lips, Zoro pressed just a little harder. One of his callused hands snaked their way around Sanji's body, wrapping around his waist—

RING! RING!

The phone rang. The fucking phone rang.

Zoro was tempted to ignore it and tried to pull Sanji a little bit closer, but the ringing wouldn't stop. Finally, he let go of Sanji's lips and stared down at his phone at the cursed caller ID.

Ace fucking Portgas was going to fucking die.

Flipping his phone open, he heard the sound of struggling and then Sanji was out of his grasp and away from him. Zoro felt cold, as though he had taken an icy shower and it sent shivers down his spine.

"What?!" he demanded.

"Zoro, is now a bad time?" At least the bastard had the sense to sound apologetic.

Zoro turned to see Sanji walking into the kitchen. His back was to him and Zoro felt an overwhelming sensation of loss. "No," he said through gritted teeth. The blond was just going to get himself a knife and began to cut up vegetables like nothing had fucking happened. Like Zoro's heart wasn't racing a million miles per hour.

"You sure?"

Zoro sighed and shut his eyes, turning away from Sanji. "Yeah, I'm sure. It was nothing. What's up?"

Had he turned around, he would've seen the way Sanji's hand shook as he cut the peppers.


Author's Note #2: The thanks for the reviews!

lilcutieprincess: I've written a bit more, like maybe, 300 words more, but it's not really moving since I'm not used to the style I wanted to try. Though I will admit I know Naruto more than One Piece, the thing is that I still feel the only anime/manga I know like the back of my hand is Bleach and I'm a little nervous about anything I write concerning anime that isn't Bleach.

JustCallMeLucie: The reason for the phone incident is simple: I realized that Sanji had no cell phone because, as he explained, why would he need one? But then I thought a bit more and once I was writing him inside that phone booth, I was like, "does Sanji know the apartment's number?" And then it was just like, since he's never left the apartment all that much, then maybe Zoro just thought he didn't need it and maybe Sanji just sort of forgot to ask for it. I don't think he expected to be caught in the rain.

VictoriaLovesSmut: Zoro has always been a character with anger management problems in my opinion. This makes him amusing my standards and so, he has random outbursts.

Dyloa: That makes sense. It'd be weird if Baratie just totally and completely changed it's name in French, considering its the name of a place. I feel kinda stupid for not realizing that. I will be reading your story, or at least, reading it and trying to understand it, I hope I do understand it though because I do love a healthy dose of angst! Nah, Sanji's got money cause he doesn't spend the money he gets all that often. For example, if Zeff pays him like, a thousand a month, Sanji goes grocery shopping like, twice a month. He doesn't spend all that money on food, therefore, Sanji has a lot of money. I'm sorry that this chapter probably didn't answer questions you wanted it to, but I'm pretty satisfied with it. I hope you liked it anyway!

Okay, just about everyone thinks Sanji is the uke. I'll tell you this: while yes, I do like Sanji as an uke, I also like the idea of big, strong Zoro on his back, pleading to cum because of Sanji. As a result, in terms of Sanji and Zoro's relationship (much like the way I viewed Naruto and Sasuke's) I'm fine with either of them being the seme. Here's the thing: I personally like it when a guy can do both things. I remember reading a Fairy Tail story about Natsu and Gray and it said something along the lines of, "Anyone can stick a cock into a hole and fuck them, it takes a real man to take it up the ass" and I think that's true. The story I believe, was called Fight Dancing or something like that, it was awesome, if you like Fairy Tail, you should read it, if you like Natsu and Gray cause that story is just adorable with the perfect amount of smut in it. So is the story Dangerous Drugs. But anyway, moving on: about this story. In this story, there will be BOTH Sanji and Zoro topping, so that means that between Zoro and Sanji, you will be getting at LEAST two different sex scenes. But anyway ...

Now for my question: first: What did Zoro say? By the way, no Google Translate, if that wasn't obvious.

Second question: If it were the Zombie Apocalypse and you had to have either Luffy, Zoro or Sanji by your side at all times as your survival partner, and you could ONLY PICK ONE, who would you have?


1st Edit: August 6th 2015