Author's Note: Okay, so I wrote this chapter in advance and here's the thing about it: this chapter and the next one, chapter 16, are chapters that happen at the exact same time as the other one. So basically, the beginning and ending of this chapter are present in chapter 16, but from Sanji's point of view. This was actually a really fun chapter to write, in my opinion. I hope I got Luffy in character cause you know, on the occasion he has those really deep moments and then resumes being ... well, Luffy, and Nami's just kind of pushy, I know, but I like the way it turned out. Anyway, you might think what Zoro's thinking is going a bit fast, but I like the pace my story's going at because quite frankly, I don't think it's very quick, but it's also not so slow that people are crying, wondering where relationship development and stuff will happen. At least, I hope not. Also, I don't usually write scenes like the one at the end of this chapter, so I hope it turned out okay. I know it's Sanji speaking, which is weird, but it's Zoro's dream so that makes it okay! I think. Anyway, I don't own One Piece, I changed this story's name, which I will explain why in the thank-yous below because I don't feel like explaining it up here.
Beautiful Disaster
By: Setkia
Full Summary
Sanji is the assistant cook of the world-renowned restaurant, the Baratie, the only restaurant like it in the world. He's a successful chef and flirts with the customers every chance he can get but there's a problem. It's all a facade. The cooks give a new meaning to the word "abusive", both mental and physical. The only thing keeping Sanji alive is his love for cooking and a good ol' pack of cigarettes.
Zoro Roronoa is a swordsman who suddenly has more change in his pocket than he expected and enters the Baratie by recommendation. His waiter happens to be a curly browed man with an adoration for cigarettes. An attempt speak to the head chef goes horribly wrong and he gets sucked into the crumbling world of the chef's, wondering how he can possibly save him and better yet, why does he want to save him in the first place?
Chapter 15: Epiphany
Hangovers sucked ass.
It was safe to say Zoro couldn't even remember the real reason why he started drinking in the first place. He hadn't gotten a hangover in so long, he had forgotten what they felt like and the pounding in his head were not welcome. Nor was the cold breeze on his chest. Opening an eye, the entire room spun before it slowly came into focus. He felt around his chest and realized he was shirtless. Why was he shirtless? He couldn't remember. Sanji wouldn't let him make a fool of himself, would he? This wasn't going to be like that one time when Zoro was getting used to alcohol that he woke up in some stranger's backyard with lipstick on his cheek, soaked from head to toe with the fire slowly dying in the in-ground pool, would it? Then again, he was still in his apartment, so that was a good sign.
"Sanji?" Zoro groaned, turning over. He felt the cool of the wood against his back and sighed, this was uncomfortable and his back was starting to hurt. He was a month away from twenty-three, he wasn't allowed to complain about back pain until he was at least in his late forties, earliest.
Using a chair to hoist himself up, Zoro stood upright and saw the world spin once more.
Listening closely, though every sound seemed like a giant megaphone was placed directly in front of his ear, he could hear the sound of … retching?
Wait, what had happened last night?
Sanji had told him to get the beer, they had sat at the table … He got upset when Sanji asked about Kuina and then Sanji had drank a bit and then Zoro had drunk a bit and then … Fuck and then what? Zoro ran his fingers through his hair and a memory hit him. Sanji had played with his hair, Zoro had said something about Nami … Shit, this was why he hated getting drunk. The hangovers, the memory-blanks …
If Sanji had drunk that first glass in place of Zoro and obviously the cook hadn't wanted to tell him everything either, then they had been both been drinking a lot, which meant—
"Fuck!"
Zoro dashed from where he stood, trying to ignore the unsteadiness of his feet and rushed into the bathroom to see Sanji leaning over the toilet, emptying his stomach. The blond had sweat dripping down his forehead, his eyes shut tightly as his knuckles turned white, gripping the toilet bowl tightly. He was obviously sick to his stomach and couldn't handle his alcohol. It had been his game in the first place!
"Sanji?"
"I hate you," the cook muttered and Zoro felt cold.
Hate? He hates me?
Zoro knew that Sanji had personal space issues, that was obvious. It was in everything he did, from the way he flinched when Zoro touched him to the way he froze up whenever there was the slightest brush of skin when they fought but Zoro thought Sanji had been getting better. At least, he hadn't freaked out too much when Zoro had kissed him … wait, was that what this was about? Zoro told himself to calm down, he was over-thinking things and that Sanji had a few days since the incident to tell Zoro he hated him, which meant the reason Sanji hated Zoro now was something else.
And that's when the stench reached him.
"You know, this is your fault," Zoro told him.
"Don't remind me," Sanji said, taking a few deep breaths as he stared down at the toilet bowl.
"How's your stomach?" Zoro asked. "Do your sides hurt?"
"What, are you a doctor now?" Sanji lurched forward, but nothing came out as one of his hands snaked around his stomach to hold it tightly. He let out a short laugh, clearly not amused. He kept his mouth slightly open, as though he were expecting himself to puke again.
Zoro wondered how long Sanji had been like this. Did he get alcohol poisoning by accident? The beer had been a bit old … Zoro shook his head. "I'll get you some Tylenol," Zoro told him. He went into the kitchen and scrambled through the cupboards. He knew somewhere in the back he kept some medicine for headaches, but he couldn't remember. He hadn't needed one in so long … Got it!
He came back to Sanji and handed them to him, along with a glass of water. "Before you take them, do you think you're going to puke again?"
"Why does that matter?" asked the blond, grabbing them out of Zoro's hands.
"It takes a few minutes for them to kick in, but if you hurl them out before they take affect, they're pointless," Zoro reminded him. "It's counter-productive."
"Just let me take them, bastard," Sanji muttered. He put the pills in his hand and tossed his head back, swallowing them. He drank the water afterwards. It was very … backwards, to Zoro who usually took the pills down with water. Then again, he should've never expected the cook to be normal.
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
Sanji didn't seem to care and instead stood up, shakily onto his feet.
Seeing the cook with a hangover was entirely different from seeing him any other day of the year.
The blond's usually well-kept hair was untidy and a mess. In fact, if he squinted, he could see the beginning of his other eye. His eyes, on that note, looked dead. They were tired with slight bags underneath them, the curly eyebrow looked menacing and his jaw was set, his mouth in a thin line. He was paler than usual and his breath reeked, gone was the gentleman-like cook who served him at the Baratie, instead replaced by a stranger with a rather amusing facial expression. Zoro wasn't going to lie, Sanji did not look attractive like this. But if he imagined Sanji's cheeks just a little redder, took away his horrible breath, positioned his head just a little back and turned Sanji's groans of complaint turn into soft moans, he was sure he knew what the cook looked like in the middle of the throes of passion.
Zoro blushed and looked away. "Anyway, what do you remember?"
Sanji blinked. "Um … well, green is your natural colour," Sanji said. "Course, you don't explain why at all or anything." He frowned. "What kind of screwed up genes do you have?"
"What kind of screwed up genes do you have, Curly Brow?" Zoro shot back.
Sanji didn't dignify him with a response. Instead he strode out of the bathroom as though he had retained all of his dignity. "Hungry, Marimo?"
"You wish, cook."
Of course, at that moment Zoro's stomach decided to growl rather loudly.
"How's bacon and eggs?"
"Fine with me."
Zoro went into his room and took the extra pills himself. With a look in the large mirror, he thought about his appearance. He didn't look much better than Sanji. His eyes were bloodshot, his usually tanned complexion slightly whiter. He didn't look pasty or sickly, but Zoro could admit he had seen better days. What did he remember from the night before? The question about Kuina, a question about whether or not he was gay, he remembered that one vaguely, but he had already been pretty gone at that point and he couldn't remember what his reply had been.
"Why did you do it?"
Okay, that question he remembered. He remembered Sanji had asked him twice. And each time, Zoro had no idea what to say. He really thought he should know himself better than this. He didn't go around kissing random people, in fact, he could probably count on one hand the number of people he had kissed in his life, and that included family members. So what had he been thinking? The kiss was so vivid in his mind but the moments leading up to it were foggy. He wasn't sure what had happened. One minute Wado was on the ground, the next his lips were on Sanji's. He needed answers.
Zoro knew he'd regret it, but the only people he trusted to know him at least as well as himself, if not more, were those idiots he called friends.
The perfect reason to leave the apartment came a few hours later when Sanji walked into the kitchen and frowned. "Hey Zoro, I'm out of cigarettes. Could you buy me a pack?"
Zoro wanted to question Sanji about this, seeing as Sanji knew first hand how horrible Zoro's sense of direction was, but he nodded all the same. "King Ground, right?"
"Yeah," Sanji replied.
"Alright then, I guess I'm going out."
Sanji gave him a strange look. Maybe Zoro should've argued with him more about it, since he didn't usually go out to get the cook anything except for the occasional ingredients, but he really wanted to get out of the house. He needed an excuse to leave so he could talk to —Zoro shuddered— Luffy and the gang.
Zoro left the apartment and got into a taxi, deciding it was going to be easier than trying to find his way on his own. He found that what he wanted to discuss with his friends was too important for him to waste precious time getting lost for. He gave the taxi driver Luffy's address and in fifteen minutes, he was outside the straw hat's house.
Zoro gave the man his money before ringing the doorbell, rocking on the soles of his feet. Why did he feel so awkward? It was just Luffy. Maybe it was the topic of conversation that was driving him insane, making him look over his shoulder like he expected someone to turn up and assassinate him or something. Oh God, he was starting to think like Usopp.
The door opened and Luffy grinned at him. "Hey, Zoro! How've you been? What's up?"
Zoro gave Luffy a polite nod. "Um, can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure," Luffy told him. "Nami! Guess who's here?"
There was a chuckle and then Zoro could hear Nami's undeniable footsteps approaching. "Well I'm going to say it's a sexually confused, scatter-brained marimo, who fights with three swords." She turned the corner and grinned at Zoro. "And I was right. Imagine that."
Luffy gave Zoro a strange look. "Sexually confused? What, did you actually have sex with Sanji?"
"What? No!" Zoro shook his head profusely. "I just … I kind of need advice."
Nami's eyes widened and her grin split so large, Zoro was sure her face was going to crack. "Really?" She smirked. "In that case, don't listen to anything Luffy says and trust me. Usopp's also not to be bothered with, he couldn't possibly understand what's going on in your head."
"And you know?" Zoro asked skeptically.
"Of course I do," Nami said. "I went through the same thing! Well, in my case it wasn't towards someone of the same sex, but still, it's still the same, isn't it?"
"Isn't what?" Zoro shook his head. "You're getting ahead of yourself, you haven't even heard what I need to talk about!"
"I can guess," Nami said. "I'm very good at it."
"Can't I just talk first?" Zoro asked. "I'm the one who's going through a mid-life crisis while not actually being in the middle of my life—"
"You never know that Zoro," said Luffy cheerfully. "Maybe forty-six is as old as you get."
Zoro sent him a glare. "Not funny."
"Look, why don't you just come in and sit down first? Then you can tell us all about it." Nami seemed as though she could read Zoro's mind, which was racing a thousand miles per second, trying to figure out what Nami had said and put a response to it while it was still wondering at the same time where he stood with Sanji. She reminded him of those annoying girls in high school who always had to know the latest gossip.
Zoro took a seat and tried to calm down his breathing. He made a mental note to remember to actually get Sanji that pack of cigarettes.
"So, Zoro, what have you been up to?" Luffy asked. "I mean you come to the bar every now and then, but you still haven't fought Sanji yet and Nami says he's still probably going through training. You don't talk to us as much as you used to." Luffy looked slightly saddened at this. "I mean I know you get a bit preoccupied with your new boyfriend and all—"
"Sanji isn't my boyfriend!"
"—but that isn't a reason to ignore us all. I balance having Nami as a girlfriend just fine with my social life." Luffy frowned. "I dunno, is it like, Sanji's leaking pheromones that are making you guys go at it like rabbits?" He frowned. "I never understood why rabbits had to have such a big family in the first place—"
"Thank you Luffy, but I'm not getting laid," Zoro said and he had to admit that in all his years, he had never had a conversation this strange.
"Of course you aren't," said Nami, putting a cup of coffee on the table, "otherwise you'd be like, ten times happier and glowing. When was the last time you got any?"
"Can we not talk about my sex life?"
"You mean your lack of a sex life?"
"Nami!"
Nami laughed. "You're too innocent Zoro," she said. "You're blushing you know," she added. "But seriously, why don't you talk? What's been up? What happened?"
Zoro frowned. "I would get to that, if you'd stop asking me questions every second."
Nami gave him an apologetic smile that didn't feel all that apologetic. Something told him Nami liked watching him squirm. "Sorry Zoro, you can start talking."
Zoro knew that Nami wouldn't interrupt now, she was too anxious to learn more, but now that Zoro had the chance to talk, he couldn't find words. He bit the inside of his cheek in thought. What should he say? What words should he use? What could he say without Nami acting like some slash-loving-fangirl? Probably nothing. "I … I just …" Zoro sighed and leaned his head back, fisting his hair in his hands. "This is so confusing!" he managed to say. To their credit, Nami and Luffy stayed silent as he tried to collect his thoughts. "Something happened," he began a little unsteadily. "A few nights ago. You know how I'm training Sanji and all that, right? Well a few nights ago was the first night I fought him with three swords." He bit his lip, waiting for Luffy to interject or say something completely random. He didn't. "It was good. He's getting really good, you know. He's got his kicks and aim on target. Anyway, after a few minutes of sparring, he did this … thing, I don't even know how to describe it. Just one second I had Wado in my mouth and the next, she was on the floor a few feet away from me." Zoro shook his head. It was crazy to think that a swordsman of his caliber had been disarmed so easily … "And …" His voice grew unsteady. He leaned his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. "And then there were a few seconds where something happened, like my body moved on autopilot and then I was standing in front of him and …" He took a deep breath. "There was this small space between us and then … and then there just wasn't anymore …" Zoro shook his head. "I don't … I don't even know what came over me, or if it was even me doing it, it was like I was in a trance or something and I couldn't break free. I was just … I just let myself move and—" Zoro couldn't find words to describe what had happened. He honestly didn't know what to say. "I don't even know what to do now," he said. "I'm just so … I'm so confused," he finished.
There was silence that cut through like a knife and then—
"Hey everybody, Usopp's here to party and— why's everyone so quiet?"
Everyone immediately snapped their heads to the front door's entrance to see Usopp standing there looking completely and utterly confused. His eyes landed on Nami and Luffy first and then Zoro before they widened. "Zoro's here? Since when?"
Both Nami and Luffy sent Usopp a glare.
"Is now a bad time?"
Zoro shook his head and stood up. "No," he said at the same time Nami said, "Yes!".
Usopp slowly backed away, heading outside once more. "Okay, I'm going to listen to the lady and—"
"No Usopp," Zoro said. "You don't have to go. I was just leaving—"
"But you just got here," Luffy reminded him.
"And you just started talking," Nami added. "Usopp can leave—"
"He doesn't have to," Zoro said. ""Anyway, Sanji needs some new cigarettes so—"
"Zoro, sit," Nami commanded. "Usopp, take a seat in the kitchen. If you really feel like you have to jump into our conversation with Zoro, do so, but don't say anything stupid." She turned her attention towards the swordsman. "You're not leaving here until we've sorted this out."
Zoro stared at her, unable to speak. Finally, he managed a, "Waa?"
"Sit," she repeated. "Usopp, in the kitchen."
"But—"
"Now."
Usopp scurried off into the kitchen and took his seat. Zoro watched him fiddle his thumbs absent-mindedly. This woman was scary. Zoro sat obediently.
"Good, now," Nami said, leaning closer to him. "So you kissed him. Then what?"
"Wait, Zoro kissed who?" Usopp asked, jumping out of his seat. "How come I never heard about this?"
Nami rolled her eyes. "Sanji, he kissed Sanji, okay? Now, you were saying?"
"Since when is Zoro gay?" asked Usopp, utterly confused.
"Since a few nights ago," Nami snapped. "Zoro, speak before he manages to open his stupid mouth again, alright?"
Zoro wasn't even sure what to say. It felt like he was at an intervention or something of the sort. He deeply regretted deciding to go to his friends, but he was already here and from the determined look in Nami's eyes, she wouldn't let him leave until he was perfectly at ease again. To be fair, Zoro knew that if Nami ever turned up on his doorstep and looked so shaken she was trembling and then she stuttered out an explanation being that she had kissed Robin or something, Zoro would've done the same thing. Not that it's likely Nami's going to start kissing the archeologist or anything …
"I just … I don't even know how to react," Zoro managed to say. "Am I thinking too much about this? Cause he sort of seems to have forgotten about it."
"Hold up," Usopp said once more. "Zoro kissed Sanji? As in Sanji the cook who's male? Who had Makino blushing for a week? That Sanji?" Usopp shook his head and entered the living room, taking a seat on the couch. "Did you get drunk or something? I thought you were quitting."
"I am quitting," Zoro told him. "And I wasn't drunk," he added.
"You look a bit like you do after a bad hangover though," Nami pointed out.
"Okay, yes, I did drink, but that was last night and Sanji started it!"
Nami rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you sound like you're in grade school or something."
"It was his idea," Zoro said. "Some stupid game with 'Twenty Questions' and that shit." He shook his head. "Either way, I'm not too eager to start drinking again,—"
"You always say that after a hangover and then you're back to the booze again," Nami told him.
"Yes, but this time I've been sober for nearly four months," Zoro pointed out. "Anyway, you're not helping my problem!"
Nami nodded. "Right, I know," she said. "Look, I swear, no more getting off topic. Just … we'll take this slowly, okay? First, how did he react?"
Zoro bit his lip. "He …" Fuck, what was he supposed to say? He barely even knew how he reacted! He just knew that he had kissed him and felt slightly disappointed by the fact that Sanji was able to cut up his fucking vegetables with ease. "He didn't really … do anything," he said slowly. "Just kind of like, stood there, frozen."
"That's not a rejection," Nami pointed out.
"But that wasn't exactly a go-ahead either," Usopp added.
Nami hit him with a couch pillow. "No one asked for your input!" She turned back to Zoro. "How about you? How did you feel after?"
"Confused," Zoro admitted. "I'm still confused." He bit his lip, sure it was going to start bleeding if he chewed it anymore. "I don't know, it was short, brief and all. It wasn't like one of those things you see in movies, it wasn't a hot make-out session, but it definitely wasn't a peck on the lips either. It was just … I dunno, it was just a kiss. Plain and simple."
"But how did it make you feel?"
"What are you, a therapist?" Zoro shook his head. "I don't know, I'm telling you, I don't know!" He sighed. "I wish I did though. He asked a few times last night why I did it. And I've got no fucking clue what to tell him."
"Hey Nami," said Luffy, "can I talk to Zoro for a second? Alone?"
Nami looked at him strangely. "You?"
"Yeah," the straw hat said with a nod. "You know, like bro-talk."
"What about me, Luffy?" asked Usopp.
Luffy looked at him. "It's more of a … Zoro and Luffy bro-talk," he corrected himself. "Please Nami? Just give me like, ten minutes with him."
Usopp frowned. "He's in a vulnerable state of mind right now, Luffy. If you take advantage of him—"
"Take advantage of me?" Zoro cut him off. He snorted. "As if he could and even if he tried, he'd be flying out the window screaming in pain before he got the chance."
Nami looked at Zoro, then Luffy for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Ten minutes, no more, no less."
"Okay," Luffy told her with a big smile.
Nami and Usopp left the room, Nami dragging Usopp by the ear as he complained about how he should be included in the "bro-talk", Nami telling him to get over it and stop being such a baby.
Once they were alone, they sat in silence for a while.
Zoro turned to Luffy. "Look, you don't need to—"
"I love Nami," Luffy said cutting him off.
Zoro gave him a strange look. "How is that relevant?"
"You want to know why?" Luffy asked.
Zoro sighed. "I'm guessing you're going to tell me, whether I want to know or not, right?"
"Right," Luffy said with a laugh. "You're smart. Nami's smart too," he added. "And she has a really great smile. I like it when she laughs too. And she's really dedicated to what she likes. I like how she's got this obsession with tangerines and her tattoo's pretty cool too. I like the look in her eyes when she gets really excited and the way she seems to find a way to bet on everything—"
"You know, that's not necessarily a good thing," Zoro pointed out but Luffy was in a different world.
"—and the way she fights for what she wants. I like how she takes charge and doesn't let others boss her around and the way she reads those really big books to me to help me sleep sometimes. I like how she knows exactly what I'm thinking sometimes and how she lets me do what I want, well, most of the time. I like how she knows to keep the fridge stocked with meat and how I'm on her speed dial and I also really like this thing she does with her tongue,—"
"Okay Luffy, I think I understand," Zoro cut him off. "You love Nami, and you know why. So what's the point of telling me all of this? Do you want me to clap my hands and say 'bravo'? Just cause you're completely fine with your sexuality and understand everything that's going on inside your head, doesn't mean I do which is why I'm kinda in this whole crisis in the first place and—"
"What do you like about Sanji?"
Zoro stared at him. "I … what?"
"What do you like about Sanji?" Luffy repeated. He gave Zoro that look that so clearly said he just wanted a list of the qualities that Sanji possessed that he liked, plain and simple. It was the look of an idiot, but a serious idiot.
"I … I don't know," Zoro said. What was he supposed to say? Was there a right way to answer this? Was he ever going to stop over-thinking everything? He sighed. "I don't know," he repeated, sounding helpless to his own ears.
Luffy thought for a moment. "So there isn't anything about him you like?" he asked. "I mean, you took him in and put a roof over his head. It can't be because you hate him, right?"
"Well, I mean no," Zoro said. "I wouldn't do it if I hated him …"
"Exactly, which means you have to like something about him," Luffy told him. Since when did he start sounding so logical? "So what do you like about him?"
"Well, I don't know. I … I like his cooking," Zoro said slowly.
"Okay, what else?" Luffy pressed gently.
"And … I like it when he fights. Watching him fight is … it's really amazing. I like the look he gets on his face when he finishes a cigarette, like he's just had a really good meal. I like the way he laughs, but not the kind of laughter when he's just trying to be polite," he added quickly. "It's when he laughs like he means it, his eyes just … they start shining. I like that he's really polite and the way he says everything with confidence. Watching him when he smirks, it makes me really happy. And the rare times when he gets shy, they're really adorable. Oh and the way he always fights back. He won't lie down, not for anyone. He's strong, both mentally and physically. I like that I don't have to hold back when we fight, that we can just fight and I can be myself when we do it …" He laughed softly to himself to see Luffy grinning at him widely. "What?"
"You're in love with Sanji."
"WHAT?!"
Zoro's voice did not just crack. It didn't because Zoro Roronoa's voice never cracked. Ever. Event through puberty, it never happened. Nope. Not once.
"Haha, your voice just cracked!" Luffy said with a laugh, that same dumb expression on his face that Zoro knew so well.
"It did not!"
"It did it again!"
Zoro gritted his teeth and tried to breathe calmly. In love with Sanji? What the fuck was Luffy talking about? That made no sense, none at all! "What the fuck do you mean 'you're in love with Sanji'?"
"Oh, I'm not," Luffy said. "You are, but not me."
"That's what I meant!" Zoro snapped.
"But you just said 'you're', as in me."
"No, I said 'you're' as in I was quoting you, which meant me!"
Luffy gave him a confused look. "What were we talking about?"
"How did you come up with that insane conclusion? Love? What the fuck do you know about love?"
"I'm in love with my girlfriend, remember?" Luffy told him. He shook his head. "Okay, fine, maybe I exaggerated,—"
"Damn right you exaggerated, I'm not in love with Sanji!"
"—it's not that you're in love with Sanji, it's that you're falling in love with him," Luffy corrected himself. "That better?" he asked.
"That better?" Zoro repeated. "No, it's not fucking better! Who the fuck do you think you are, saying I'm falling in love with that curly brow cook?"
"I'm Luffy and you're Zoro. You're really bad at remembering things, aren't you?"
Zoro didn't understand how he hadn't strangled Luffy already. "I …" Zoro couldn't find words. He was too busy clenching his teeth and trying not to knock that full row of sparkling choppers out of his fucking mouth. "ARGH!"
"Nami, the ten minutes are up!" Luffy called with a gleam in his eye.
Nami came back into the room, dragging Usopp with her. She took one look at Zoro, then at Luffy and sighed. "Luffy, what did you do?"
"I just talked to him," Luffy said with a shrug. "I don't know why he threw a fit."
"What did you tell him then?" Nami corrected herself.
Luffy rubbed his head and seemed to be thinking, as though he didn't remember the giant bomb of lies he had dumped on Zoro a few seconds previous. "Um, that I loved you?" He paused. "Oh yeah! And that he loved Sanji."
"You do?"
Whether Nami's question was directed at Luffy's weird confession, or Luffy's claim that Zoro loved Sanji, Zoro didn't know. That was a lie. Zoro knew since he was sure Luffy had told Nami over at thousand times that he loved her. Especially since, knowing Luffy, he wouldn't be able to keep something like that secret.
"No, the liar's coming up with lies!" he declared. "Usopp, watch out, his lies are becoming more outrageous than yours!"
"What are you talking about?" Usopp asked. "I don't tell lies, I just tell slightly altered stories that people assume are lies," he said. "I really do have a friend from France who's claiming to be your long lost brother Zoro," he added.
"Yeah, fucking right," Zoro mumbled. Grabbing his jacket from the couch, he threw it on. "I'm leaving, I need to buy Sanji his cigarettes."
"You hate the smell of nicotine," Usopp reminded him. "Why are you buying him more?"
Zoro sighed. "I've gotten used to it."
Luffy gave him a knowing look, as did Nami.
"You can shut it," he told them. "I don't care if you didn't technically open your fucking mouths, I'm still fucking pissed at you! This means absolutely nothing, there's no deeper meaning in it, whatsoever!"
"Denial's a horrible thing Zoro," said Nami with a sigh. "I hear it leads to stress and you know large amounts of stress causes a shorter life-span," she added.
"Yeah well …" Zoro huffed. He had no idea what to say in response, so instead, he slammed the door shut and called a taxi to take him to the closest dug store.
"They're un-fucking-believable," Zoro muttered to himself as he entered the twenty-four hour store. He looked down the aisles, looking for the cigarettes labeled King Ground.
As he wandered, he thought about what Luffy had said.
"You're in love with Sanji."
Was it true? Zoro shook his head. It couldn't be true. Sanji was … well Sanji was Sanji! He was a man and he was a cook and he was … he was beautiful when he fought. He owned the kitchen like it was his battlefield, he walked with grace. You had to earn the right to hear his real laugh, you had to try hard to get him to smile genuinely. But God was it worth it when he rewarded you for your efforts.
He was … he was a beautiful disaster.
Those were the only words Zoro could think of that could possibly describe Sanji. Short, simple and yet so complicated at the same time. Thinking about the blond had put a smile on the swordsman face that he didn't notice until man behind the counter gave him back his change and told him he must be a rather happy person to be smiling so widely.
Did that mean … did that mean Zoro really did love Sanji? Rarely did the swordsman find himself smiling for an unknown reason, though it was now quite clear that he had been thinking about Sanji but … what did Sanji make him feel? Fuck, thinking about it made his head hurt but he needed answers before he turned up at the apartment or else he'd never get any sleep.
Well Zoro already knew he liked Sanji's smile. It was lopsided and just a little shy, but Zoro found himself a very big fan of it. It was adorable really, when Sanji actually smiled. He liked it when Sanji laughed and he liked it when Sanji fought. To see the determination in his eyes was like watching fire burn. He liked how Sanji still looked just a bit sheepish whenever he won a bar fight, he liked when Sanji made his favourite meal and didn't even know it. He liked it when Sanji came to him in the night on the rare occasion that a nightmare came back, he liked the way Sanji would occasionally play with his hair. He liked the way Sanji was brimming with confidence while at the same time incredibly insecure. He liked when he could force Sanji out of his shell, he had liked the feel of Sanji's lips on his—
Okay, this wasn't working.
What about what he didn't like about Sanji?
Zoro thought and thought while the taxi made its way over to him and realized that he couldn't think of a damn thing. Sure, there were things about Sanji that irritated him, he didn't like that Sanji smoked and he found it kind of weird the way that Sanji always said "pardon" and never "excuse me", but he didn't dislike those thing about him.
Holy fuck, I might just be falling in love with Sanji!
How was he supposed to deal with this? Better yet, how did he come up with such a ridiculous conclusion that he liked Sanji in the first place? Of course he liked Sanji, he wouldn't let a complete nuisance stay at his apartment, but that didn't change anything. It still left him wondering. Was he over thinking this? Maybe he was just over-exaggerating, maybe Luffy's words were making him think weird things.
Zoro remembered the dumb look Luffy got on his face when he was listing all the things he liked about Nami. Did Zoro look like that when he was thinking about Sanji? And how was his expression supposed to say anything about his feelings towards the blond cook?
Oh wait, now there's actual feelings attached to this?
He was supposed to talk to his friends, figure out what he thought about the kiss and move on with his life, not come up with the conclusion that he was falling head over boot for the cook! No, maybe he didn't love Sanji like Luffy claimed, but Luffy was right in a certain sense. Zoro felt something towards the cook, and it might be something a bit more than the strange friendship they had developed over the past few months. Maybe, just possibly, he liked Sanji. Just a little bit, in a slightly less than platonic way. Maybe.
But that wasn't the way life worked! You didn't just do that! It didn't make sense! Better yet, picking up random people who you met at a restaurant was also not the way life worked, but Zoro had done it anyway. Fuck, what was he supposed to do now?
The longer he thought about it though, as he sat in the back of the taxi, the more he realized something.
Sanji wasn't a harsh, cruel person. Even if Zoro was falling in love with him, or felt something towards him in general, Sanji wouldn't hold it over him, would he? Besides, when Zoro had kissed him, the blond hadn't pulled away. He hadn't really done anything, to be honest, but Zoro decided not to concentrate on that fact. He wasn't cold, right? But Zoro knew Sanji could be cold, he could be harsh. But that was all a facade, wasn't it? Zoro had gotten Sanji to open up to him, it couldn't be that hard to plant a possible seed of a relationship into Sanji's mind, could it? Sanji trusted him after all, didn't he?
The rest of the taxi ride was spent with Zoro wondering about Sanji and how he would react towards Zoro's confession. It wouldn't be full-blown, it would be more like the kind that school girls said. "I kinda sort of like you. A little bit. Could we maybe ... possibly try something?" Oh God, was he starting to relate himself to a school girl? Fuck, what was Sanji doing to him?
When he turned up at the apartment, he entered to see Sanji standing in front of the giant window, his back to him. He seemed to be shaking as he leaned against the pane. He flinched when he heard Zoro close the door.
"I'm back," Zoro said. "Got the cigarettes."
Sanji didn't give any indication that he had heard him and Zoro realized something.
Sanji was a victim of abuse, amongst many other things. What the cooks had done to him was horrible, it was unimaginable the pain he went through. Surely, after an encounter with the cooks, there was no way Sanji could possibly like a man, never mind Zoro. He felt as though ice had been poured down on him at that moment. They were so far apart and yet so close. Sanji was so different from him, Zoro didn't even know why he thought it could work for even a moment, even if it had been something minor and small. He was being delusional, making up ridiculous dreams that wouldn't come true.
"Leave them there," Sanji said and Zoro complied, letting the packet fall on the couch, feeling like lead.
Going to his room, Zoro laid down in bed and put his arms behind his head, falling into an uneasy sleep.
Zoro pushed himself against him harder, feeling his lean body underneath his own. He gasped as he felt those skilled hands ran down his chest, leaving him breathless. His hands went out grasping for something, anything to hold onto, running themselves through his silky looking hair. He didn't dare open his eyes, scared everything would disappear.
Sanji pulled him closer, grasping at his hips, making their bare chests touch and the feeling of skin on skin had never felt so good. Zoro let Sanji push him up against the wall and moaned as Sanji left a trail of kisses down his neck before rising back up to his mouth, claiming it with his own. He teased, swiping his tongue across Zoro's lips but pulling back when Zoro tried to get him closer. Zoro grasped Sanji's hair and pulled him onto him, his growing arousal poking Sanji in the thigh. He opened his mouth underneath Sanji, felt the cook's tongue explore.
"Sanji," Zoro said breathlessly. "Fuck, Sanji, I love you."
Sanji pulled away from him and looked at him straight in the eye. Those weren't Sanji's eyes, they were cold, they were icy. He let out a sly smile, as though he had been waiting for Zoro to say that.
Zoro froze. Had he said the wrong thing? Should he have kept it to himself?
"Do you now?" asked Sanji in a slick voice that was nothing like his usual baritone.
Zoro gulped.
Sanji licked Zoro's Adam's apple, sucking on it and the swordsman gasped, fisting Sanji's hair. "Do you really love me, Marimo?" The tone of voice Zoro had come to believe was affection disappeared and was instead distant and glassy. He rose up to Zoro's ear and hissed, "Tu m'énerve."
And then the heat was gone, the warmth was gone and Zoro was alone.
When Zoro woke up, he fought back tears. He thought he could hear the faint sound of whimpering, but didn't dare think about it too much for fear it was his own voice. He put his fist in his mouth, trying to hold back any sobs.
Sanji was right.
Love did hurt. A lot.
Author's Note #2: Okay, the thank-yous!
Sekai Roronoa: Is my French really that bad? I'm going to admit to something here: I live in Quebec, in Canada, which means a) I'm Canadian, and b) I have to know French. I had to live in the province that's determined to become independent. If that happens, I swear I'm moving, but anyway, I like to think I'm good at French. I'm a high school student, which means in Quebec (cause Quebec's schooling is different from everywhere in the world), that's grade 7 to 11, putting my age from 12 to 18. I'm not telling you my age. Anyway, in that case, we have 3 French classes, français base, français enrichi and français avancé, which is for the people who are so good at French, it's like their mother-tongue. I'm in français enrichi, right in the middle, so I like to think I'm good at French. To be fair, I suck at verbs and I recognize this fact, as well as that I'm better at talking verbally in French, listening to a French conversation, and reading in French rather than writing it. You're the second person helping me in French, but I didn't tell you all that to get a sob story or anything, I'm just glad I can improve. Maybe when I return from break, I can be better in French class. I don't usually do anything in French during the break.
Guest: Okay, now to explain why I changed the title. First of all, I wrote the title before I came up with the story. I was just like, "No one talks about Sanji as a cook at the Baratie, most of the stories are about how Sanji's just a cook, not a cook who works at the Baratie" and I think the Baratie is a big part of Sanji's life, it shaped who he is today, but anyway, there's that and I just thought Zoro walking into the Baratie (pirate hunter Zoro in my mind, not this somewhat civilized AU version of him) was amusing, if he actually sat down and ordered, he'd look weird, sticking out like a sore thumb. But anyway, I came up with the title and then rewatched the Baratie arc and watched until the cooks pretended to be mean to Sanji and was like, "What if that was real?" And then this story came and then I actually bothered to finish the episode after a while and was like, "I feel awful for doing that to the cooks. Sanji was crying when he was leaving!" For me, Sanji had the most heart-felt departure. That's my opinion, of course. But anyway, then came the fact that the title was too long in my opinion but I couldn't find a nice, short, title. Then while writing this chapter, I came up with one and changed it accordingly. It just so happened you made a joke about it before I changed it. But seriously, I was thinking my summary could've been like: Title: A Swordsman Walks Into the Baratie, Summary: and shit goes down. But that was too vague. Anyway, I like awkward, I'm like, the queen of awkward, so I don't mind awkward comments at all.
JustCallMeLucie: Nah, it's no big deal. I was just kidding anyway. I thought that the best way to make them kiss was in a moment when they were both just really, really hyped up and totally couldn't understand what was happening and this story was also partially inspired by Memories by StarkBlack, well, it has certain elements, like the bar that they fight at gets them money (even if they haven't fought at it yet) and fighting is a turn on for both Zoro and Sanji, and the aspect that in the prequel/random oneshots that related to Memories before it happened, Sanji and Zoro first kissed while at a dojo while fighting each other and then Sanji just punched him and ended up kissing him. I'm very inspired by StarkBlack, I like what they write.
So just about everyone likes Zoro drunk, now this time, since it was Zoro's dream, Sanji was speaking French. What did he say?
And next question: Say you needed love advice, who would you go to? Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Luffy, or Usopp?
1st Edit: August 6th 2015
