Dean felt like he had gone ten rounds with Thor, full contact and no holds barred. And he felt like shit. He couldn't even imagine how bad Sam felt...even without the knowledge he had accidentally set Lucifer out of the cage.
That was a nightmare.
So they managed to leave the plane, find the car, and head to the first hotel they could find that didn't ask questions. Dean briefly contemplated the bed, but decided against it. He had a migraine as it was, and he didn't think sleep was going to help much.
Plus, the various aches and pains he was currently experiencing didn't exactly mean he was liable to get any sleep with how crappy he felt at the moment.
Sam was also feeling like shit.
"Dean, is it just mean or do you feel like someone's sticking pins and needles into all your muscles after beating the shit out of you?" asked Sam, who was clearly contemplating the pills in his hand.
Somehow, Dean got the feeling that Tylenol wasn't going to cut it.
As if that wasn't enough, Chuck had to enlist the aid of the rabid super fan girl Becky to deliver a message.
Dean didn't know what the Micheal Sword was, didn't care. All he knew was that he felt like shit at the moment and the Apocalypse could go hang for all he cared.
Topping off his shitty night, Bobby showed up...and almost immediately Dean pinned him to the wall after recognizing a demon inside of him.
"Sammy, the exorcism. Sorry Bobby."
Bobby came out of it pissed, but still more or less whole. He still didn't know how that damn demon made it past his amulet. It was past time for him to get that tattoo.
He took one look at the boys and said flatly "You two look like shit. What happened?"
"Lucifer got out, and we were hit with the power wave before suddenly we got stuck on a plane with no idea how," Sam summed up, then he winced.
"It's times like these I wish those damn feather dusters hadn't been watching us like hawks."
If Loki had been able to shake down some demons for answers, he might have learned early enough to stop Lucifer from coming out of the cage. Instead he had to fumble around in the dark, like a human...it was a very unpleasant situation for him.
"So what exactly did the Prophet say?" said Bobby.
"He said the Micheal Sword was on Earth, and a general area where it was," said Sam.
"I bet you ten gold that the 'Micheal Sword' is just angel slang for the fact I'm Micheal's vessel and you're Lucifer's," stated Loki flatly.
"...I wouldn't know where to get ten gold, and I'm not stupid enough to bet against you. Except in poker," Sam amended.
It was a fact that endlessly amused him that his poker face beat Loki's seven times out of ten. His luck at cards wasn't nearly that good, but his poker face still beat Loki's.
"At this point it's a toss up between trying to sleep and or seeing if Loki can't talk his way into getting some painkillers from a hospital. I feel like I'm being poked and prodded all over, with sharp stabbing pains to go with it," winced Sam.
"...Give me twenty minutes and I'll have them handing over the strongest ones they can legally hand over without a permanent prescription," stated Loki flatly.
It took him thirty, and he wouldn't be ashamed to admit he had used a little mental nudge to get them.
The problem was that even two hours after taking it, either the medicine hadn't kicked in...or something else was going on.
They had it. Not only did they still feel like shit, but there was this strange sense of urgency they felt about at least checking out this tip. If only because they couldn't sleep while they felt so bad.
Dean quickly began to wish he hadn't.
Zachariah was there and he was trying to force them into saying yes...Dean more than Sam.
Bobby, at least, had been spared becoming yet another one of the seraph's victims because he had headed back to the house for a bit.
But it was when Zachariah removed Sam's lungs to force Dean into agreeing that his limited patience snapped.
Angel or not, hiding from Thor and many others... Dean/Loki didn't care. No one threatened Sam's life that casually and got away with it.
Loki/Dean didn't think. They didn't even consider the ramifications of what they were about to do to an angel or even if they would be able to.
Right now all they could agree with was that Zachariah had to pay for using Sam to threaten Dean, among many other things he had done to piss them off.
Zachariah's eyes bulged in shock as Dean casually lifted him off the ground by the throat, his expression that of pure rage and fury.
"No one threatens what is mine, seraphim," snarled Dean/Loki. Sam was beginning to lose consciousness as the lack of air was causing him to pass out. "Heal him of the damage or we'll see exactly what an angel looks like without wings."
Zachariah stared at Dean in shock and suspicion. Loki, and this was Loki now, merely looked at his conspirators and with a mere thought slammed them into the walls and pinned them in place like a bug to a piece of cardboard.
"What are you?!" hissed Zachariah.
Dean felt the shift, didn't even think about the fact he shouldn't be able to take that form again so soon.
Where Dean Winchester had been was a very pissed off, extremely vengeful and possession of his full powers once again, Loki Odinsson.
Seeing the hacked off face of Loki, Zachariah's expression went from confusion to shock and horror.
"No! No this can't be possible! You're not supposed to be in him!"
"You have crossed the limits of my patience, angel. Now heal him of the damage you inflicted or I will see if it's anatomically possible to rip your spine out in a single move," snarled Loki.
Zachariah weakly waved his hand at Sam, who started taking in deep lungfuls of air. Then he started glaring at the angel as well.
"Please tell me we get to deep fry a seraph," he snarled.
"Your magic isn't strong enough, and we lack the holy oil to make sure the damage sticks," replied Loki without hesitation. His expression spoke volumes of how much he would enjoy killing Zachariah, preferably as slowly and methodically as possible. Then he said something that left terror in the depths of Zachariah's soul. "However I'm certain Hel would enjoy having a seraphim to play with along with that bitch Ruby."
Loki looked at the other angels waiting in the wing. Or they were, until Castiel suddenly made an appearance, looking as pissed off as Loki felt.
He dispatched two before he registered Loki as Dean and his eyes widened in shock.
"Sam, you make sure Castiel isn't absconded with again while I deal with this piece of filth," said Loki smoothly.
Sam nodded, and casually lead Cas out of the storage, frowning when he realized the door was jammed. It took some doing but he got the door open enough for him to get outside, with a confused Cas behind him.
It wasn't until he looked back that he realized that Zachariah had locked the door rather securely...and that he had somehow bent the bar holding it in place.
Hel's first reaction to seeing Loki was...
"Why Father, I had no idea you had passed the trials once again."
Loki blinked, stalled for about two seconds before he replied in a long suffering tone "So that's what it was. I had completely forgotten about it. I did bring you a gift of a new toy, daughter."
Hel looked past Loki to the terrified and confused seraph, and clapped her hands in delight. She so rarely got to play with those since they stayed in their afterlife.
"Father, you always bring the best toys for me~!" she said in girlish delight.
Loki's smirk was nothing short of predatory.
"Take as long as you like with his suffering. If his people come for him, make sure they pay through the nose as well as more than a few arms and legs to get him back. He shouldn't have threatened Sam," said Loki flatly.
Hel's eyes narrowed at the freshly terrified seraph. She liked Sam. He was the only one other than Loki himself who dared to give her a kiss on the cheek that many thought of as rotting. And he showed no sign of disgust, only surprise to learn that while she looked half dead she really wasn't. She just had a very unusual and horrifying skin condition.
"I think I'll pay extra special attention to him then."
Loki left, but not before he heard the fresh sounds of screaming from the angel who had dared to harm what was his.
Say what you would about the god of mischief, but he...like his mortal form Dean...was a possessive bastard who did not like it when people harmed what was his. Especially when it was someone they liked well enough to claim as family.
Loki returned and became Dean once more, his mortal sense of vengeance having been more than sated knowing Zachariah was unlikely to bother them again.
"Who are you?" said Castiel, utterly confused.
Dean sighed. This was going to be a long night...they would need booze.
"First we head to Bobby's, then we get shitfaced. I'll explain while we say goodbye to sobriety for a while," said Dean.
"But what about..."
"Again, I'll explain a few things while we get shitfaced," said Dean flatly.
Cas' confused look lasted until they came to Bobby's. Dean sensed the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents take note of their presence, and guessed they'd be dealing with an antsy thunder god within the next few days.
Thor was not good at being patient.
Once in the house, Dean brought out the large number of high-quality liquor he had bought, including some decent whiskey to replace what Bobby had in his cabinet.
"We get shit faced first," said Dean flatly.
Three shots into a long night of drinking, Dean explained to Castiel what was really going on.
"I was born as Dean Winchester...but before that I was known as the Asgardian god of mischief Loki. The real one, not a certain trickster who I will be giving an ass-kicking to for the Mystery Spot. I had no knowledge of who I had been until after I left hell though."
Cas looked at Dean. Finally he said "So that's why there was an unusual amount of damage to your soul. I had wondered why it felt like I was trying to fuse two back into one."
"Sam, you know how we felt like absolute shit when we woke up on that airplane?"
"Does this have anything to do with why I was able to bend that steel bar to the point we could get out of the storehouse?"
"Yes. Coincidentally Hel is giving Zachariah extra special attention until someone either barters for his return or she tires of him. Which isn't likely for a long, long while."
Castiel winced.
"It seems we passed the trials at the same time Lucifer broke out...or Odin decided that we had sufficiently proven ourselves worthy and chose that time to slip in the change. We're going to be feeling like shit for another day or two before I'll have to find a work out so you can build up some proper muscles. Fortunately you have something to work with," said Loki. He then made a face, which didn't look too out of place on Dean's body. "It also means that Thor will be told and will likely come to visit us soon. Very, very soon."
Dean/Loki then turned to Castiel. He straightened up nervously.
"Relax Cas, you have yet to sufficiently piss us off to the point that I'd consider handing you over to Hel or a thousand others who dislike your kind more than demons do. If anything I'm more likely to throw you to the Black Widow...she has quite a bit of experience with brainwashing, and she works with a man I know you'll like."
That seemed to calm him down.
Loki looked at Sam.
"It would seem Odin has either figured out I'll not return to Asgard without you, or you somehow impressed him while you performed the trials with me. Either way, the reason why both of us feel like we're being prodded and stung is because we're converting from 'human' to 'Asgardian'. Or in my case, returning back to what I know as standard. At the very least we'll be expanding your magical powers as well as your muscles, because Asgardians have naturally larger cores."
Sam perked up at that...right before he winced at a stabbing pain.
"You sure about that?"
"The stabbing and stinging sensations are because your cells are converting for the first time. It's been a while since I had to do this, and with all the fuss I forgot about the trials otherwise I would have recognized it for what it was."
"Is there anything to dull the pain?"
"I can put us both into a state of artificial sleep, which means we won't actively feel it but it will come back in a rush when we wake up. However that also means we'll have to hide Baby, otherwise Thor will try to snoop the moment Fury informs him we're here. He's not known for being patient, especially when he's particularly eager about something."
"If any muscle-headed idjit tries to bother you boys while you're feeling sick, you can bet I'll fill them with buckshot...and not one of the salt rounds either," said Bobby.
Castiel looked at his drink, then at Dean/Loki. He downed it in one go, then silently asked for another. He was going to get drunk and not care about the consequences until he sorted this all out.
As it turned out, Castiel needed to make a rather...large...purchase of alcohol before he was properly drunk. Once he was, he went to Dean's room and went straight to sleep while the brothers camped out in the panic room in the basement.
In the Avenger's Tower
Thor was once again pacing, as he really, really wanted to see Loki again to assure himself that his brother was back to the man he once knew. He was driving everyone save Banner up the wall, actually.
"Thor, seriously, chill. If you're that worried about Loki then why don't you go find him? I mean Fury said that he's sure that Loki's with his contact, didn't he?" said Tony.
"I cannot. At least not for a few days," said Thor miserably.
That got a collective blink.
"Why not?" said Banner, honestly curious.
Thor made a face.
"When one is converting...or in this case returning, to what is considered standard from an Asgardian standpoint, it is rather painful. Your very being is changed, down the last strand of hair. It is comparable to being stung repeatedly while prodded. I have fortunately not had to undergo the conversion, as my experience did not last long enough for my body to convert into what is normal for a human. Most, if not all, generally prefer to sleep through it and experience for an hour rather than deal with the full two to three days of conversion."
Tony was the first to blink, before he slowly said "You're telling us that there's a process that involves changing human cells into Asgardian ones that takes up to three days to complete? How does that work?"
Thor, seizing a chance to get his mind off the fact Loki would absolutely not want to talk to him for a few days, did his best to explain. Needless to say he had Stark, Banner and to some extent Romanov and Roger's full attention.
Stark for the science, and the other three because of personal experience.
Natasha, Steve and Bruce had all undergone their own process to gain what they had now, all of which had been very unpleasant and painful in different degrees. Steve and Bruce had undergone a swift, if extremely painful transformation, though only one had been entirely voluntary.
The less said about the training and conditioning Natasha had to undergo before she became the Black Widow, the better.
Thor didn't know much about the process...but what little he did know was enough to sufficiently spark Tony's interest and more importantly distract the thunder god.
