Author's Note: Okay so I was really lenient on how hospitals worked. And yes, there's quite a bit of French in here in comparison to other chapters. I also think that Sanji's above the whole rating thing, but it was really fun to do anyway. I don't own One Piece or Fifty Shades of Grey (thankfully. That's about the Shades, not the treasure). What else? I did look up different shades of grey for this, "Fifty Shades of Pornography" is what my friends call it and I do think Sanji's just a bit out of character here, but I really liked this chapter.
Beautiful Disaster
By: Setkia
Full Summary
Sanji is the assistant cook of the world-renowned restaurant, the Baratie, the only restaurant like it in the world. He's a successful chef and flirts with the customers every chance he can get but there's a problem. It's all a facade. The cooks give a new meaning to the word "abusive", both mental and physical. The only thing keeping Sanji alive is his love for cooking and a good ol' pack of cigarettes.
Zoro Roronoa is a swordsman who suddenly has more change in his pocket than he expected and enters the Baratie by recommendation. His waiter happens to be a curly browed man with an adoration for cigarettes. An attempt speak to the head chef goes horribly wrong and he gets sucked into the crumbling world of the chef's, wondering how he can possibly save him and better yet, why does he want to save him in the first place?
Chapter 19: A Birthday In The Hospital
There was something special about today.
Zoro couldn't quite place his finger on it, but it was something he was probably supposed to remember, but couldn't for some reason.
As he was contemplating what he had forgotten, he heard the door open and sat up in bed.
"Morning, Marimo," greeted Sanji. He entered the room and stuck his hands in his pockets, leaning against a wall, the cigarette as usual, resting in the corner of his mouth. Zoro had to tear his eyes away from Sanji's to remind himself it was weird to stare at another man's lips.
"Didn't think you'd be coming," Zoro told him in a teasing voice. To be honest though, after Sanji had forgotten about him yesterday, he wasn't the most believing in the cook's punctuality.
"What and stand you up?" Sanji asked with a smirk. "Wouldn't dream of it, darling," he teased.
Zoro decided not to mention that's exactly what Sanji had done the day before. Instead, he tried to fight down a blush and gripped his sheets tighter. "Don't make it sound like its a date."
"You're the one who said it last night," Sanji reminded him. "I think." He shook his head. "I don't know, the last few minutes I was awake are pretty fuzzy." He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, why don't we take a walk?"
"A walk?" Zoro repeated disbelievingly.
"What? You haven't broken your legs since the last time I saw you, did you?" Sanji asked.
"No, but—"
"Then we're walking," Sanji said. "What, do I need to sign you out or something to leave this room like you're some member of an asylum or something?" He rolled his eyes. "Get up Marimo, we're going to go exploring."
"I'm not a child," Zoro told him, but he complied. He pulled his blankets off of himself and used his hand as leverage to push off the bed. All of this was done unsteadily by his right hand. "Fuck, I hate being injured," he muttered.
"Yes, I suppose it isn't all sunshine and roses, is it?" Sanji asked him and Zoro suddenly felt incredibly bad.
Sanji had probably been through hell— no, he had gone through hell, with countless bruises, scars and burns to prove it and here was Zoro being all insensitive thinking that just cause he had a slightly damaged arm, he had the rottenest luck in the world. "Sanji, I—"
"It's fine," Sanji told him, waving him off. "Anyway, let's get going," he insisted.
Zoro grumbled as he walked over to Sanji and glared at his cigarette. "Do you care about people's health at all?"
"Besides my own?" Sanji asked with a smirk. "No, not really. Well, on the occasion I'll worry about nimrod marimos, but you don't meet them every day you know." He winked at him and Zoro felt his cheeks light up. The room was hot. It was very hot. And he was not blushing because Zoro Roronoa does not blush. Nope. Never.
"Where's my surprise?" Zoro asked.
"Surprise?" Sanji repeated.
"I believe you mentioned one last night," Zoro reminded him. "Where is it?"
"Oh, that," Sanji said. "Um, you'll have to wait for it."
Zoro did not pout because Zoro Roronoa was above pouting. Pouting was for babies and puppies and whiny people who were desperate for something. It didn't even look all that attractive to pout. And yet Sanji laughed at him and claimed he was pouting. Honestly, what the fuck was the delusional cook thinking?
"Come on, I want to see this place," Sanji said. "I didn't get to look around much last time I was here."
Zoro rubbed his neck with his good arm. It still felt weird doing it. "Yeah well, there's isn't much to see around here,
"I'll be the judge of that," Sanji told him. "Now get your lazy ass moving."
Zoro grumbled the entire time as they entered the hallway and a nurse gave him a small smile. "You going to leave your room today, Mr. Roronoa?"
Zoro gritted his teeth. He knew the nurse meant well but he was sick and tired of being treated like a wounded animal around the hospital. Sure, he was injured, he could admit to that, but that didn't mean he couldn't eat on his own (with some difficulty). He could still walk, could still talk and he was breathing, wasn't he? He gave her a curt nod and grasped Sanji's shoulder with his good arm. "Come on, let's go," he said. "Where are we headed?"
"You're the one steering me," Sanji said, eyeing Zoro's hand on his shoulder.
Zoro let go of him almost instantly. "Yeah well … you don't know where you're going."
"It's a hospital with signs everywhere, even you couldn't get lost," Sanji told him, rolling his eyes. "Come on, let's go to the cafeteria. It's nine, you aren't hungry?"
Zoro wanted to cross his arms, but he couldn't with the annoying cast on his arm. "They have shit food here too," he said. "It's not just the coffee."
"I'll be the judge of that," Sanji said.
They entered the elevator and Sanji hit a button. The doors closed.
"If you don't know where you're going, how do you know that's where the cafeteria is?" asked Zoro.
"I don't," Sanji said. "But we have time, so I figure it isn't the worst thing if we get a little lost." He eyed Zoro's cast and smirked. "Making a fashion statement?"
"Shut up," Zoro snapped through gritted teeth but he couldn't hold back the urge to smile. He made an attempt to twist it into a scowl, but instead he ended up looking like he was having a seizure or something.
"Aren't people supposed to sign a cast?" asked Sanji.
"I don't fucking know," Zoro said, "does it really matter?"
"You're breaking tradition if you don't have at least someone sign it, besides if that room has anyone white in it, it'll be a marshmallow," Sanji added.
"If it's such a big deal to you, then sign it yourself," Zoro told him in a gruff voice.
"Maybe I will."
"Whatever."
Ding.
The doors opened and a couple rolled in. The girl was in a wheelchair, her foot propped up in front of her. Zoro knew they were a couple just from the aura they seemed to leak as they took a position near the corner of the elevator. Zoro felt incredibly uncomfortable in their presence, perhaps because they were giving each other stupid kiss-y faces. He kind of wanted to puke. PDA wasn't the worst thing he had ever experienced, but he still didn't feel comfortable in a confined area where it seemed likely those two were going to stick their tongues into each others throat without any way to escape.
And of course, that's exactly what they proceeded to do. Zoro turned his gaze toward the ceiling, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Luffy and Nami were fine, they just gave each other quick pecks before they left the house or every now and then they did make-out, but that only lasted five seconds until Zoro cleared his throat, feeling awkward and they'd stop. This couple … how did you tell strangers that they're desire to pull each others' clothes off was a bit disturbing? Well, he supposed anyone would find it disturbing, but then again, people didn't have a problem with watching strangers fuck, that's what porn was after all.
He counted down from ten in his head, tapped his foot against the floor, hummed a ridiculously loud rock song underneath his breath to avoid hearing the slobbering sounds the couple seemed to have amplified the more Zoro tried to drown them out.
He let his eyes wander elsewhere in the elevator to Sanji and realized something.
Sanji was watching them.
It wasn't even in the subtle way, it was plain staring and it almost looked like he was analyzing it, like he was watching it and committing it to memory, like this was one of those things they taught you in school that was going to be useful later on in life, and you actually realized and took your head off the desk and stopped sleeping to listen.
Ding.
The doors opened again and the couple got out. It felt like it had been forever, but really, it had been maybe ten seconds? They had three more floors to go.
Zoro cleared his throat awkwardly and fought down the blush on his cheeks. "You should've taken a picture," he told Sanji. "Would've lasted longer."
Sanji turned to him. "Jealous?"
"Of what?" Zoro demanded. He eyed Sanji's cigarette and frowned. "Smoking in a confined space like this—"
"You're red, Marimo," Sanji told him with a smirk.
"I am not!"
"And you're in denial," Sanji added, looking even more amused then before.
"Perverted voyeur," Zoro snapped.
"Better than a prude blusher."
"Is that even a word?"
"I said it, so it must be."
Zoro stared at him, as though by analyzing the cook, he could find out whether or not his statement held any truth.
That's when the doors opened again.
"Our stop, Marimo," Sanji told him. Guiding him by his shoulder, he pulled Zoro out of the elevator.
The doors closed behind them and Sanji looked around. He checked his watch as though this were going to tell him the truth of the universe and frowned. "It's only been fifteen minutes?" he muttered under his breath.
"Tired of me already?" Zoro teased, but holding his breath for Sanji's answer.
Sanji didn't answer him and instead, walked past him down a hall. He stopped when he was half-way down the hall. Not turning to face him, Zoro could see the wisp of smoke that came from Sanji's cigarette, even from the distance he was at. "You coming?" he asked him in a bored tone.
Zoro cursed the blond under his breath until the cook stopped abruptly, causing Zoro to bump into his back.
"Fuck, give me a warning, would you?" Zoro demanded. "Do you want me to be hospitalized any longer?"
"It's your fault in the first place," Sanji snapped.
No, it's your fault, you damn cook. You and your stupid self getting stuck in my head. Apparently, the only way you to shake you out of my thoughts is to nearly die. Course, you don't feel guilty, do you? But he didn't speak and instead, rolled his eyes and stayed silent.
It was then that the smell of food reached his nose. Actually, it didn't really seem like food. Zoro had to eat the hospital's food the night before and it had been less than satisfactory. It reminded him of the play food that others played with. It looked real and edible but the second you bit into it, you discovered it was made of plastic and left a horrible taste in your mouth, sending you to the hospital for choking on a fake grape. Funny, the food here was no better.
"Don't make me go in there," Zoro said in a voice that was not a plea because Zoro Roronoa didn't plea. Not even if you begged him to.
"Come on Marimo, you need to eat," Sanji told him, grabbing his good arm and pulling him.
Zoro dug his feet into the ground, hoping they'd keep him routed in the spot, but it was all in vain. As his feet skid across the floor, he wondered who he'd leave his stuff to. He had nearly died drinking their coffee and he highly doubted he'd make it through a full meal. "I don't have to eat," Zoro said, "I'm not hungry."
And then his stomach growled. Loudly.
Sanji gave him a knowing look. "Of course you're fine." He then continued to drag Zoro with him.
Damn stomach, fucking traitor!
As the cafeteria came even closer, Zoro got desperate. "Please, don't take me in there!" Zoro Roronoa did not— fuck it, fine, he begged but that cafeteria was fucking scary as hell!
"Honestly, how did you get through high school?" Sanji asked with a sigh. "If you can't enter the cafeteria—"
"When I was in high school, I had never tried your cooking," Zoro pointed out.
Sanji's grip on his arm loosened slightly. He looked at Zoro strangely. "What's that supposed to mean?" It wasn't an insult, it sounded … curious.
I am not inflating his ego, Zoro decided.
"It means your cooking's heavenly and anything else tastes like fucking garbage."
Fuck.
And then Zoro's brain came up with an ingenious plan.
He ran.
When he had made the third left turn, he realized he was completely and utterly lost.
Well fuck.
This wasn't possible. Sanji had said it himself. There were tons of signs everywhere, it wasn't that hard to find a sign and read it. He'd figure out where he was.
Okay, think. You got on an elevator, which went from the first floor to the … fifth? Am I on the fifth floor? Why the fuck does this hospital have so many floors?
Oh! He knew what he had to do! He just had to find the nearest elevator and the number of the floor would surely be written on the wall somewhere near there. Right, okay. Now where was the nearest elevator?
The problem with being lost, is that in order to get un-lost, you needed to find your starting point, or at least, have some other place you wanted to get to in order to fix yourself and get your bearings. In order to do that, you had to have a reasonably good sense of direction. In order to do that, you had to not be Zoro Roronoa.
It was at that moment a girl and a boy rolled by. The girl was in a wheelchair, her foot propped up— Oh great, just fucking, it's the tonsil hockey players.
Zoro glared at them as they passed, talking to each other. It was at that moment that he realized something. He didn't need to have a good sense of direction, he just needed someone else to have it.
"Hey," Zoro said, raising his voice to the couple. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
The girl and boy looked at him strangely, obviously having no idea why he was talking to them. "I don't bite," he added, just for good measure. "I'm just a bit uh …" He rubbed his neck with his good hand. Fuck this was embarrassing. "Just a bit lost," he admitted.
The girl looked at him blankly for a moment before looking up and whispering to her boyfriend. He nodded and laughed a little.
"On ne parle pas japonais," he said.
Oh thank God, they spoke a language he knew!
"Je m'excuse, je ne veux pas vous-déranger, sauf c'est seulement que je suis in peu perdu. Es-ce que vous purriez m'aidé?"
The man stared at him and blinked. He seemed a bit shocked that Zoro spoke French. "Où est l'autre homme qui était avec vous?"
"Je sais pas," Zoro replied. "Savez-vous comment aller au l'aire de restauration?"
The two of them helped give him directions. He thanked them gratefully and headed on his way, but not before he heard the girl giggle something to her boyfriend.
"Son copain et lui sont vraiment mignon, n'est ce pas?"
Zoro tried not to act as though that affected him at all. Nope, it did nothing. But how the fuck did they come up with that conclusion?
Using their directions, he was almost at the cafeteria when he heard something over the loud speaker.
"We have received a recent complaint from someone who shall remain anonymous, complaining about a tall blond man screaming about some type of green algae. The witness says the man is alternating between strong cuss words and the name 'Zoro'. If Zoro would please make his way to the cafeteria and if the man could please stop disturbing the others, it'd be much appreciated. Also, could the man please stop smoking? This is a hospital after all. Thank you."
Zoro was going to fucking kill him.
When he got into the cafeteria he found Sanji sitting at a table with a tray full of food and a cup of coffee in the corner of his tray.
Zoro slammed his good hand down on the table and glared at him. "Was the loud speaker really necessary?" he demanded.
Sanji looked up as though he only just realized he had gotten there. "Hello Zoro, how are you? I'm fine Sanji, how are you? Well, hard to say considering I just caused the beauties of the hospital to complain due to you. Do you need a map of the hospital?"
"No, you are not allowed to get into a one-sided conversation with yourself. What, did you think screaming my name would make me come?"
Sanji stared at him. He turned his head to the side and the beginning of a blush.
Zoro blinked. Then—
"Pervert!"
The entire cafeteria seemed to turn to him and hush him. It seemed no matter where Zoro went, he gathered unwanted attention. He took a seat and tried to fold his arms for the thousandth time that day, only to find his arms wouldn't cross. Fuck, he hated being handicapped.
There was silence while Zoro silently fumed until Sanji spoke.
"This coffee really is shit."
Zoro rolled his eyes. "I told you it was awful, why'd you drink it?"
"I figured you were just being bitchy," Sanji said with a shrug. He stirred the coffee with a spoon and Zoro noticed it was completely black. "So …" Sanji seemed to be considering what he was going to say, before he spoke again. "Did you mean it?"
"What, that you're a pervert?" Zoro asked.
"No, the thing about my cooking," Sanji said.
Zoro stared at him. There was no way Sanji didn't know how amazing his food was. Every time Luffy visited, he insisted on eating everything Sanji made, whether or not it was prepared for him and then there was the fact that Zoro had been in pure heavenly bliss the first time he had tried Sanji's food, which resulted in a rather embarrassing moan in the middle of a crowded restaurant. He kind of felt like it was one of those things that only happened in movies, orgasmic cries of pleasure, that was.
Zoro wanted to stuff his mouth with food to avoid telling him, but he knew trying anything on Sanji's tray would be like trying to eat rubber. "Just a little," Zoro mumbled under his breath.
Sanji seemed to mull this over in his head for a while before he smirked. "Let's play a game."
"Oi, you and your games, it's ridiculous," Zoro said, shaking his head. "Haven't you taught me them all?"
"I've got a few more up my sleeve," Sanji told him.
"Shouldn't I be getting back to my room?" Zoro pointed out.
"You just found me again," Sanji said, "let's stay a while. Besides, we can hardly play this game in your room."
"Oh yeah?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow. "Dare I ask?"
"Have you ever rated anyone?"
Zoro had no idea what Sanji meant but from the evil grin on his face, he got the feeling this was something that Sanji found great joy in doing. "What?"
Sanji pointed towards the woman behind the cash register. She was tall, a bit chubby and wore a hairnet that seemed just a little too tight. Her uniform seemed to barely fit her. "One's the lowest, ten's the highest. I give her a six."
"What, not a ten?" Zoro teased. "The great lady's man is being picky, isn't he?"
"Look, I've got my reasons. At the current moment, she seems to be a six. I mean, she has really nice hair, probably if it wasn't up in that hairnet and she's wearing a bit too much make-up for my taste. Her nails are well done though and she has really pretty eyes. Her shoes are nice and if her uniform actually fit her, she wouldn't look all that bad. Her potential's there, she just isn't trying."
Zoro peered at him strangely. "You don't consider this degrading towards women?"
Sanji shrugged. "Not really, I'm appreciating beauty and stating my opinion. If you were to play with the other cooks though …" Sanji shivered for a reason that Zoro was sure was more than just how crude they'd be. "Besides, I can appreciate a man's attractiveness as much as a woman's."
Oh yeah? Zoro wondered. Does that mean— no, he's straight.
Zoro found it weird that when a girl stated how nice another girl looked, it was fine, but when it came to a guy thinking another guy looked great in a shirt that brought out his eyes, they were considered gay. It was kind of strange to him.
"Fine," Zoro conceded. "What about … her?"
He pointed towards a girl who was getting coffee from the shit coffee machine. She was wearing jeans that hugged her legs perfectly, stilettos and a crop top. Her nails looked well-manicured from what Zoro could see and she had a belly-button piercing to top it all off. Her hair was nice and long, falling past her elbows in a wave down her back. She was probably some patient's daughter, getting him a drink or something.
Sanji looked at her for a moment. "Five."
"Five?" Zoro echoed.
"Yeah," Sanji replied. "First of all, look at how much skin she's showing."
"I thought you'd appreciate it."
Sanji shook his head. "No, best to leave it up to the imagination. She's not steady in those shoes, see how she's walking with the cup in both hands? You don't normally do that, do you? She's probably trying to even the weight on either side of her. She looks anorexic Zoro," Sanji said. "She looks fake."
"Fake?" Zoro repeated.
Sanji rolled his eyes. "Can you look at her cleavage and tell me honestly that it's real?"
"Her c-cleavage?" Zoro repeated. He shook his head. "I'm not looking there!"
"So innocent," Sanji muttered with a smirk. "Anyway, I'm sure she's beautiful, but she's trying too hard. Imagine her without her without the make-up and pretend her breast size is maybe, half the size it is now. And cover her stomach."
Zoro tried to do it. He frowned. "She … looks entirely different in my mind."
"Is she pretty?" Sanji asked him.
"Yes," Zoro admitted.
"Okay, your turn," Sanji said. He pointed towards a man sitting a few tables away.
The man was average height with a small goatee and dark hair slicked back. He wore sunglasses (he was one of those people, the ones who wore glasses inside) and a simple polo shirt with a pair of black pants.
"A man?"
"Why not?"
Zoro bit his lip and stared at the man. He had never spent much time looking at others, he was too busy focusing on training and the like. Whenever he met someone, normally his first thought was about tier personality, which he based off of their look. Sanji's actual personality was partially surprising while at the same time predictable to him. It was a pleasant surprise. "He's …" He thought about it. He wondered if Sanji ever put this much thought into the number he gave others. "Four."
"Tough crowd," Sanji said. "Why so low?"
"He's a douche," Zoro said. "Wearing glasses inside, his hair slicked back looks greasy, plus his goatee looks stupid."
"What if he's blind?" Sanji asked.
"Huh?"
"This is a hospital, you know sometimes blind people wear sunglasses indoors," Sanji pointed out.
"Yeah well …" Zoro felt bad, but he wasn't going to tell Sanji that.
"I'd give him a seven," Sanji said. "His polo's well-pressed and he looks like a business man. He's sophisticated. He's a tad mysterious with the glasses. I bet he's a lawyer—"
"Have you ever seen a lawyer who wasn't wearing a suit?"
Sanji thought about it. "I did once. One of the customers was one." He shrugged. "Either way, from the angle I'm looking at him from, his hair looks really cool. Besides, that goatee's kinda hot."
Zoro stared at him. Did Sanji realize what he had just said?
"Okay, next person," the blond said, pointing towards their next victim.
It went on like this for quite some time until after almost two hours of playing Sanji decided to change games.
"I'm going to give you a category," Sanji declared. "And then, we have to name things under that category. We can't repeat anything and we have … say five seconds to answer."
"What?" Zoro demanded. He thought they were going to rate the pregnant woman who was yelling at her husband, but apparently his six would have to wait for another time.
"Okay, then. The category's colours. Black."
"Blue— wait!" Zoro stopped himself and glared at Sanji. "Black's not a colour!"
"It is to me. Red."
"Yellow. It isn't one, it's a fucking shade."
"Green. Not according to me."
"Orange. Well according to practically the whole universe, it is!"
"Purple. Well the whole universe can go fuck itself, I still think it's a colour."
"White. The whole universe doesn't give a fuck what you think."
"Brown. White's not a colour, Marimo."
"Pink. If black's a colour, so is white."
"Violet. White is what you end up with when there's a complete absence of colour, isn't it?"
"Grey. Isn't that what black is?"
"Magenta. Fine, whatever, white's a colour, but only if black's a colour."
"Turquoise. What the fuck is magenta? And black will never be a colour."
"Lilac. Of course black's a colour, it's my favourite one, remember? And you've heard of turquoise but not magenta?"
"Gainsboro. I think you're just pulling things out of your ass right now."
"Emerald. What the fuck is gainsboro? You're the one pulling things out of their ass!"
"Light grey. It's a shade of grey."
"Scarlet. Fuck, don't tell me we're going through forty-seven more shades, are we?"
"Spanish gray. And why the fuck not?"
"Aquamarine and seriously? Is that even a real shade?"
"Gunmetal and yes, it is a real shade."
"Vermillion. Great, next you're going to bring in the handcuffs and a riding crop."
"WHAT?!"
Sanji smirked. "I win."
Zoro blinked. He was still stuck on the handcuffs and riding crop. "What the fuck is that about?" he demanded.
"Fifty Shades of Pornography, better known as Fifty Shades of Grey," Sanji said, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, moving on. I won, you choose the next category."
"The only reason you won is because you started talking about perverted things!" Zoro shivered. "God, have you no shame?"
"Not really. Pick a category Marimo," Sanji told him.
Zoro tried to stop his head from spinning. He decided to push Sanji's inner-pervert to the back of his mind since now didn't seem like the time to worry about it. "Swords," he said.
Sanji's face drained of colour. The cook was naturally pale but now he looked even paler. Zoro smirked. "I start?"
"Um, yeah," Sanji said, gulping.
It was fun to watch Sanji squirm. "Wado."
One. Two. Three. Fo—
"Katana."
Zoro decided to let it pass. "Sandai."
One. Two. Three. Four. Fi—
"Fuck!"
Zoro smirked. "I win."
Sanji glared at him and Zoro met him, their category game being a stare-down.
The more Zoro stared at the blond's eye, the more he realized it wasn't just blue, there was the lightest hint of grey in his iris as well. It was … very interesting. Seeing the ocean blue mixed with the lightest trace of a storm cloud. He leaned a bit closer, wanting to put his hands on the table to get a better look, see what other colours Sanji was hiding in those eyes of his, when he heard the sound of the loud speaker.
"Um, we've received another complaint from a patient about a redheaded woman who's in his room, currently, screaming at him for hiding someone. She's accompanied by a few other people, there's a limited number of people allowed in a hospital bedroom at a time, remember that. Would the— pardon my language— 'shitty swordsman' come back to the room so that the patient may sleep?"
Sanji's eyes widened suddenly. "Fuck, I totally forgot!" He checked his phone and groaned. "She's going to kill me. Get up Marimo, we're going back to your room," he told him.
Dragging him into the elevator, he pressed the first floor button and the doors closed.
They stood in silence for a while, the awful elevator music making Zoro sick until he spoke. "What'd you forget?"
"None of your business, Marimo," Sanji snapped at him.
That was all they said before the doors opened again and Sanji dragged him to his room.
There was a nurse standing outside the door, frowning. "The room's reached its maximum number of people allowed in at at time—"
"He's a patient," Sanji said, gesturing towards Zoro. "See? His arm's broken."
"That may be so, but—"
"Look, I'm sorry Miss, but we kind of need to get inside there," Sanji told her. He gave her an innocent smile. "You understand, don't you? This man needs his rest and he's unable to get it in this noisy hallway."
Zoro decided not to mention that there was no one else in the hallway but them.
"Well uh …"
"Thank you, sweetheart," Sanji said, moving behind her and opening the door.
"It's against regulations to smoke inside this building," said the nurse, spluttering a little. Zoro tried to glance into the room, but it looked fairly dark. He wondered how the man in the bed next to his managed to phone anyone to complain considering the darkness. "It's prohibited."
Sanji turned to her. "You can make an exception, can't you?" he asked her, his voice sounding silky and soft.
The woman seemed to shiver and nod profusely. "Of course sir!"
Sanji flashed her a smile before roughly pulling Zoro into the room.
"SURPRISE!"
The light switch turned up and Nami, Usopp, Ace and Luffy all surrounded Zoro's empty bed, a cake on the bedside table.
"What's going on?" asked Zoro, completely confused.
"Don't tell me he actually forgot," said Nami.
Sanji smirked. "Happy birthday, Marimo."
Birthday? It was … oh fuck, that was what he was supposed to remember, wasn't it?
"Oh …"
Luffy frowned. "Can we eat the cake now?"
Zoro stared at the cake with the blue icing on it, written in fancy script was: Happy Birthday Zoro! He frowned. "This isn't from the cafeteria, is it?"
"Sanji made it," Luffy said. "Can I eat it now?"
"You made it?" Zoro asked, turning to the blond.
Sanji turned his head away, his hands shoved in his pockets. "Yeah well …" He shrugged. "Are you gonna eat it before it gets cold?"
"It's a cake," Zoro pointed out.
"We've been waiting forever," Nami said. "Sanji had to keep you out of the room for like, I dunno, two hours and instead he kept you for like, four! He didn't answer any of his messages either!"
"I'm in a hospital," Sanji said. "It'd be rude to have my phone on. And I didn't hold him up for four hours, it was more like three and a half. The idiot got lost."
Usopp sighed and shook his head. "Seriously?"
Zoro turned to Sanji. "So, wait, is this the surprise you were talking about?"
Sanji shook his head.
"But it's a party and you made a cake— what's this?"
Sanji had thrust a package into Zoro's hands, a wrapped gift with a small note on it, saying:
To: Marimo
From: Curly Brow
Obviously great care had been gone through to wrap it. And of course Zoro just ripped it open without a single care in the world.
The entire room held its breath.
"That's what you got him?" asked Usopp in shock.
"That's …" Nami didn't seem to be able to finish her sentence. "That's …"
Luffy just kept eating while Ace grinned.
In Zoro's hands was a red and black sheath, and from the weight of it, there was a sword in there. Slowly, using his right hand, he unsteadily pulled the blade out of its cover and stared at it. The blade was a pure black, shiny and it looked sharp. It was … God, this was amazing! He couldn't even find words to describe it.
Zoro couldn't speak, his voice wouldn't work.
"I wasn't sure if you'd like it," Sanji said slowly, taking Zoro's speechlessness as a potentially bad sign. "See, I don't know, I saw it there and it looked pretty and it sounded like it had an awesome name, Shusui and all, and I thought maybe you could use another sword?" He chewed on his cigarette. "Never mind, it was stupid—"
Sanji was cut off by Zoro wrapping his arms around him tightly, hugging him tightly.
Zoro wasn't sure if he was crying, but he wouldn't be surprised if he was and at that moment, he didn't care if he was.
"Thank you," he said, "thank you so much!"
Sanji rolled his eyes but returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Zoro as well. "Your welcome."
Ace whistled and the two broke apart, Zoro suddenly feeling embarrassed, Sanji turning his head away.
"How are we supposed to top that?" demanded Luffy.
Zoro smirked. "I'd like to see you try." He looked over at Sanji again.
The party continued and though Luffy had already started to eat the cake, they lit up the candles and Zoro stared at the candles. He didn't know what to wish for. He had a new sword that Sanji had gotten him, he had amazing friends and the only thing he could want was for his arm to heal, and that probably wouldn't take too long, therefore not being worth wasting his wish on.
As he stared at the flickering flames of the candles, he glanced at the cook out of the corner of his eye.
"Son copain et lui sont vraiment mignon, n'est ce pas?"
He knew exactly what to wish for.
Everyone clapped and cheered when he blew them out.
"So, what'd you wish for?" asked Nami.
"If I say it, it won't come true," Zoro told her teasingly, but he knew even if he told her, it still wouldn't come true.
Zoro's wish had been this: I wish Sanji was "mon copain".
But that was impossible, wasn't it?
Author's Note #2: Okay the thank-yous!
Eager Reader: Okay, you're totally right! I don't know what else to say about that. I suppose that makes sense there are communication problems but I do like writing these kinds of relationships, they're just fun for me and hopefully amusing for others.
Raigon: The thing was I didn't want them doing that stupid "You hang up first" thing, cause I just find that annoying, but anyway, yeah, I liked it and when I read it over I ended up yawning myself, especially when I read it before bed and then I was reading it aloud to test that it made sense and I ended up yawning just when Sanji was yawning.
JustCallMeLucie: A compass? Would it work? I'm just thinking of the compass in Deadman's Chest, that doesn't point north, but at what you desire most. Oh, Disney pirates and One Piece pirates, the fun!
lilcutieprincess: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it and I hope you liked this chapter! Make him something? What do you think he'd like to eat?
Dyloa: So right after reading your review I was like, "I should really read Bridget Jones' Diary, shouldn't I?" and I love it. Quirky characters, they are like my God! And the first sentence of Bridget Jones' Diary is: I WILL NOT, for her resolutions, isn't it?
Sam: I felt this chapter was nothing but fluff, and I enjoyed it immensely! I hope you did too!
S.P. Tripathi: Nice gift, I bet he'd be really confused though.
VictoriaLovesSmut: I thought marimo was a food, turns out its algae, or I didn't read the article enough, I just skimmed it, either way, I just think of "marimo" and "curly brow" as the One Piece version of "teme" and "dobe". I really do love Zoro and Sanji!
Okay, now for the answer: Apparently, the author already answered that question, Sanji's older, which is good cause when I changed the age Zoro was becoming, I put it down a year! Yay! Now Zoro's just turned 23, while Sanji's already 23! Yay! I already said that, but anyway, moving on ...
Question: What did Zoro speak to those people about? The ones who were speaking French. (I'm sorry about verbs, I suck at them), if you can, try to translate them all. Try not to use Google Translate. Also, another thing: Zoro uses the term "vous" when he addresses the couple. You'll get bonus points if you can tell me why it's good that he said "vous" instead of "tu".
ACTUAL QUESTION: (cause I wasn't planning on Zoro speaking French) In this chapter, there is an allusion (reference) to a wonderful romantic comedy which I adore with everything I have and have basically memorized. What is the name of the film and tell me what scene I'm referencing.
Oh yeah, I lied, one more question. Did you think Sanji did good with choosing Zoro's present?
1st Edit: August 6th 2015
