Chapter 32

No Good Deed… (Part II)

"Mommy, come LOOK!" Kaylin squealed as she banged on the powder room door before running back to the living room while Eddie was trying to talk herself out of the regularly scheduled afternoon nausea since she had no water pressure to deal with it before Danny returned from his father's house with the plumbing repair box. "Daddy's on the TV chasing big birdies with a blankie!" she revealed with great excitement. "Is he gonna catch 'em and bring me one home?"

"He's what?!" Eddie called out as she opened the door and hurried to see while pressing a cold washcloth with ice up against the back of her neck. Jamie had called briefly just a few minutes ago to inform her of his little side trip to Staten Island while on the way home but this was the first she was hearing about the details of his adventurous afternoon. She missed the segment on the news by the time she joined Kaylin in front of the television and had just successfully located the remote to backtrack when Danny let himself in the front door.

"Oh you've got to be freaking kidding me," she murmured in disbelief as she watched the great turkey roundup take place under his direction with the redheaded Officer Annabel Anderson leading the charge. "That's what was so important he hung up on me?!" she turned to her brother-in-law who had just set his tools down on the counter and wandered over with a sly grin on his face.

"Daddy saved the birdies!" Kaylin clapped excitedly again with delight as she watched, her actions no doubt mirrored by multitudes of other children across the city in what could only be considered as a PR victory for the NYPD during this particular holiday week.

"Yes, he sure did, you cute little pumpkin," Danny acknowledged as he picked his tiny niece up and twirled her around like she was an airplane. "Your daddy is a bona fide superhero; just like Batman… he saved the day again. The streets of Gotham City are safe once more from the threat of rampaging extra crispy drumsticks and wings," he chortled.

"Danny," Eddie warned in her best version of Pig Latin. "O-Nay ore-may alk-tay about-way urkeys-tay and-way eir-thay arts-pay or-way we'll e-bay aving-hay ofu-tay or-fay inner-day on-way ursday-Thay."

"Say what?!"

"Keep it up," she explained with a nod to the little girl. "And it will be tofu for dinner on Thursday."

"Oh, right," he acknowledged as he cleared his throat and set Kaylin back down. "Well, I'd better take a look at the leak. Under the sink, right?" he asked as he walked to the kitchen while removing his tie, unbuttoning his dress shirt and preparing to crawl under there with just his favorite wife beater tee on. "Go ahead and turn the water back on so I can see where the problem is," he advised as he waited while she followed his direction. "It's not that bad," he continued when she returned from downstairs. "Just this little section of copper pipe has a pin hole. They make quick connect fittings for this now so you don't have to call a plumber in to solder it. Pretty sure Dad has those in the box," he added as he sat up and rummaged through the kit, already dripping though from the spray which seemed to increase in intensity from earlier, so he removed the undershirt too. "Go turn the water back off and we'll get this done in no time. I'll need an extra pair of hands underneath here though. You sure you're feeling alright? Want me to wait for Harvard? You might get a little dirty," he asked as he eyed her clean white tee and loose running shorts.

"No, I'll help," Eddie sighed after she returned from the basement once more. "I'm okay now, it's past. Besides it will be late until he gets back and I just want this done so I can clean up before my mom gets here tomorrow morning. What do you need me to do?"

"Just lay here next to me and hold this wrench on the fitting while I cut through the pipe," he advised as the two sprawled out aside of one another on the kitchen floor to commence the repair.

Meanwhile, Jamie was trying to make small talk with Sister Agnes as they sat at a dead stop in a traffic jam on the FDR as he fumbled with the unfamiliar controls in Eddie's recently purchased crossover, a sad concession to family life as her souped up little silver Porsche had been traded in for a more car seat-friendly model, something that Jamie was loath to do to his precious Mustang, but with another baby on the way it looked like he would lose that battle soon… still none of these mom-friendly models came in stick shift and he would sadly miss the feeling of that more than anything else.

"So what church do you serve at in Staten Island," he asked the older woman.

"St. Anne's Parish," she confirmed. "I am also the vice principal at the school there."

"Oh, small world," Jamie exclaimed, grateful finally to have something to fill what had been a very awkward void of silence so far. "My brother and his wife are members and their two sons attend the school there… Jack and Sean Reagan."

"You are Daniel Reagan's brother?" she asked as she eyed him up and down with a renewed sense of interest. "Also the son of the current Police Commissioner?"

"His youngest, yes ma'am," Jamie replied back with a smile.

"Well, I never would have guessed," Sister Agnes interjected with a little huff. "We see so little of Daniel at the school functions, but Linda is a very devoted mother and a fine example of a good Catholic woman. The two of them were going through quite a concerning spell there a few months ago though," she added self-righteously. "The boys were very upset in class. I had to call the home several times to inquire what was wrong."

"Oh yes, well… it was a little bump, but they've worked things out," Jamie replied, suddenly very uncomfortable discussing his brother's recent marriage woes in front of anyone, let alone a nun that did not seem to be a member of the DFR personal fan club… still he could not help but try to defend him out of a sense of Reagan honor. "Danny's very dedicated to family. In fact he picked up my little daughter after work today when I was running late and he's helping my pregnant wife with a minor repair at our home right now."

"Interesting," she returned with a frown and a raised eyebrow. "Considering we are having parent-teacher conferences at the school tonight and he indicated he could not attend due to work-related issues. I take it he will be marked absent once more."

Jamie was still trying to formulate a response to that while back in Bay Ridge, events were set to unfold that would have him wishing he was anywhere but stuck in a traffic standstill with a seemingly tech-possessed car and an already irate judgemental nun at his side.

"Mommy! Is Daddy still playing with the birdies?" Kaylin asked hopefully as she circled back into the kitchen. "I see more? P'ease!"

"No, baby… ouch!" Eddie replied in a muffled voice from under the sink after bumping her head on the drainpipe and knocking over a bottle of dish soap that had remained forgotten in the back of the cabinet when she cleared everything else out. Danny was still having issues finding room to get the right angle to cut the damaged pipe amid the other plumbing fixtures down there.

"Can I see Daddy 'gain, p'ease!" the little girl tried again, unrelenting now as the newscast had sadly ended and she wanted more of the action.

"May I," Danny and Eddie corrected in unison before she continued. "Sweetie, he's driving a lady home in Mommy's car right now. Go get my phone and call him; he'll tell you all about it," she advised in an effort to appease her daughter while they focused on getting this damn aggravating section of pipe out.

"Fat chance," Danny muttered before swearing when he pricked his thumb on the hacksaw blade since he could not get the tube cutter to turn in the tight space. "The kid never picks up the phone if he's behind the wheel since he writes tickets for that everyday. Goody two-shoes…"

"Oh, everything in my new car is hands-free," Eddie advised. "He hates all the tech, but I set his phone up to Bluetooth with the system automatically. The GPS even knows if you are moving or not so you can only FaceTime and text when the vehicle's stopped," she explained. "I love it but he hasn't used it very often yet so he might not know what to do. Go ahead, Kaylin, try calling Daddy and surprise him."

Jamie's fingers were drumming a nervous rhythm on the wheel and he checked his watch for the tenth time as he noted the line of cars they were sitting in hadn't budged so much as an inch in the last ten minutes so he put it in park and turned off the engine to conserve fuel, leaving only the secondary power on. He was just about to pull out his phone to call Eddie and let her know he'd be even later than expected when the screen on the center console of the car lit up with an incoming call and a smiling picture of her face in the corner.

"My wife," he offered to Sister Agnes as he studied the unfamiliar options and reached for the big green accept call button, all at once entirely happy that this had occurred after the wedding and he didn't feel the need to explain their living in sin with a three-year-old and a baby on the way to the fractious apparently strict-minded religious woman aside of him.

"Daddy!" Kaylin squealed with delight as she had somehow activated the video button and her face suddenly appeared almost pressed up against the screen as she held the phone close enough to count the freckles on her nose. "I see you!" she said as everything behind her bounced up and down while she jumped with excitement.

"I see you too, sweetness," Jamie smiled as he eyeballed around the dash for the hidden cam. Damn this car with its fancy-shmancy tech crap, he sighed. Give me an old big block engine, four on the floor and roll down windows anytime. "Honey, put your mommy on the phone, please," he asked hoping to speak to Eddie to give her an ETA, see where they were at with the sink repair, and judge her current hormonal state of mind with regard to her mother's arrival.

"'Kay! Uncle Danny and Mommy are playing on the floor," Kaylin agreed obediently as she turned the phone around and pointed it towards Eddie, unfortunately bumping the incoming volume button down to its lowest setting at the same time and really only giving Jamie and his passenger a bird's-eye unfettered look of two pairs of legs sidled up next to one another on wet and now soapy kitchen surface as they were forced to listen to the running commentary since he was too shocked at the circumstances at first to consider the opposite little red button meant he could hang up the call, instead they continued to watch the beautiful state-of-the-art high definition console display as the one in suit pants was writhing back and forth a little and the other feminine-looking one wearing comfy short shorts was curled up next to them. "Daddy says to talk!" the little girl ordered.

"Not now, baby, we need to get this done," Eddie replied back, only hearing part of that as Danny was busy trying to saw away at the pipe with his hacksaw blade but not getting any purchase on the smooth material with just fingertip pressure.

"Here, Eddie... I want you... to… ahh… sit up instead and kinda straddle me while you hold onto this and pull hard so I can get a better angle," Danny ordered as he tried to move one of the interfering hoses out of the way of his efforts. "Yeah, push it just like that… don't let go! I need you to hold it just right or it won't work!"

"I'm trying, Danny, but it's tight under here and the soap's not helping… God, Jamie would have a fit right now if he knew… he's such a freak about stuff like this… it would keep him up all night; sorry, my hands are slippery and it's really, really hard!"

"You sure you're okay doing this with the baby coming? He's gonna kill me if he finds out."

"No, it's alright. I'm fine. I know I should go easy but I just really want this to work," she admitted.

"Ah… just screw it!" he cursed as his hand slipped. "I'm losing it again, but c'mon, Ed, hang in there for a few more minutes… we can do it… what he doesn't know won't hurt him right?"

"Let's not wait any longer, Danny. I need this to happen tonight, and by the time he gets here it'll be too late!"

"Damn, those brass nipples up there might have to come off too; they're getting in my way. They seem really oversized now that I'm down here looking at them. Maybe that's part of the problem. Wait! Yeah, that's it… right there… it's coming, I can feel it," he assured as the saw blade finally bit into the surface of the pipe and he rocked back and forth faster in his efforts.

"We're almost through," she called out in agreement as he was finally through and a residual spray of water pressure was released as he moved the section, soaking them both.

"Oh, Danny, I'm all wet!"

"Hold on… me too… wait... OH YESSS!... That's it. We got there. Well we'll have a big mess to clean up here, but it was worth it, wasn't it? You did a great job, Eddie. The kid's lucky to have someone who's not afraid to get their hands dirty. Linda would never do that for me."

"I know! I'm so excited! I can't wait to show Jamie when he gets home! He thinks I'm afraid to do anything like this. It's gonna really surprise him!"

Mercifully at that moment in time on the FDR, traffic started moving again and the console in the car went back to the generic home screen as Jamie pursed his lips and put the car into gear to drive forward in complete silence with his appalled passenger while Kaylin grew tired of the fact that her Daddy wasn't talking back to her anymore as Eddie and Danny continued with the repair of the pipe, and she put the phone down on the counter before going off to play. Not another word was uttered between the pair in the car until it pulled up in front of the St. Anne's School and stopped to let Sister Agnes out so she could attend the scheduled conferences where she would no doubt run into an unsuspecting Linda Reagan at some point. Jamie offered one final parting comment as he considered his brother's earlier faulty assertion that he was smart enough to keep himself out of trouble like this… that was definitely one dare to the universe that had gone bad six ways from Sunday in an incredibly short order.

"Good night, Sister Agnes," he offered humbly. "Again, ahem, my apologies for… well, you know just about everything that happened today. That, ah last part... well that wasn't at all exactly what it sounded like… but I'll um… well, I'll tell Danny you'll be expecting him at early Mass and confession first thing tomorrow morning," he managed to choke out finally, hoping she would show some kind of mercy in her heart before he had to go back and explain this to his brother and Eddie.

"Thank you for the ride, Sergeant Reagan. You seem like a very nice young man and good, concerned parent just as Linda is. I must counsel you though that your brother and wife have a rather unholy relationship… I will say the prayer of lost souls for both of them tonight," she tutted with a frown and shake of the head. "I suggest you do the same."

It was more than an hour later when a completely emotionally spent Jamison Reagan arrived home and let himself into the house, only to find his older brother wearing one of his faded Harvard tees and a pair of sweats with a dozing pajama-clad Kaylin on his lap, his socked feet comfortably up and crossed in an irritating fashion on the coffee table while sitting next to Eddie on his couch, drinking a beer and watching the favored Mets and Phillies play while that wet clothing sat tumbled dry in the laundry. A quick glance at kitchen showed it to be all back in order with what smelled like supper warming for him in the oven.

"Jamie!" Eddie smirked as she sat up and greeted her husband. "Baby, it took you forever to get home tonight! Traffic must have been a nightmare on the bridge," she surmised as she glanced at the items in his hand. "You didn't have to stop and buy anything. C'mere and sit down with us... sweetness is all ready for you to put her in bed and Danny and I already fixed the sink," she added proudly as she patted the cushion next to her. "There's even some frozen turkey noodle casserole warming up in case you're hungry," she snickered as his brother joined in the laughter at his expense, not expecting the tables would be turned so soon.

"What's the bottle for?" Danny asked as he took inventory of the items Jamie had returned home with. "I told you I work for beer, and the big bouquet of flowers for your momma-in-law… that's a nice touch to get back in her good graces when you admit that you've knocked up her daughter already," he added smugly, knowing Eva's impending arrival must be gnawing at the kid's insides. "Jamison Reagan, always the gentleman…"

"Oh, the scotch isn't for you; it's for me," Jamie admitted as he broke his silence finally. "And the flowers are for Linda. I have a feeling you're gonna need them to get into your house tonight and you're certainly not moving back in here," he emphasized with a contentious flash of scorn.

"What are you talking about, Harvard?" Danny asked as his eyes narrowed and the smile slowly slipped down off his face.

"Where exactly does Linda think you are tonight, huh?" Jamie prodded as he was about to drop the evangelical hammer on his unsuspecting brother.

"Oh, the kids had something at school… you know how I am with those nuns," Danny admitted wryly. "I told her I had to work late and go talk to dad about a theft ring," he admitted. "Captain America's already stolen two bases for the Met's tonight and we're only in the sixth inning," he laughed as he pointed to the screen with his beer. "I know, I know… I'm a bad man and I'm gonna burn in hell if I don't add that to my tally when I get around to going to confession. Why?"

"Oh, no reason…" Jamie trailed off. "Except maybe the fact that I had Sister Agnes from St. Anne's along for the ride tonight when we were at a standstill on the FDR and got to witness that little hedonistic display between the two of you under the sink in live HD technicolor on that fancy-shmancy screen in your 'tech-friendly' car when you had Kaylin call me on a video chat, Eddie!" he revealed as his voice went up an octave. "Straddle me!... I'm trying, Danny, but it's tight under here and the soap's not helping… God, Jamie would have a fit right now if he knew… he's such a freak about stuff like this…" he mocked in their voices as his eidetic memory provided a word-for-word accounting of the conversation he had absorbed and now needed help to forget. "It would keep him up all night; my hands are slippery and it's really, really hard!"

"JAMIE!" Eddie gasped as she thanked heaven Kaylin was still soundly sleeping while she turned bright red with embarrassment as she envisioned her normally mild-mannered husband sitting in her car next to a nun of all people and listening to this as the completely innocent but implied connotations slapped her notion of reality.

"You sure you're okay doing this with the baby coming? He's gonna kill me if he finds out… and for the love of all that's holy, you had to throw in that comment about brass nipples?!" he finished as the two guilty cohorts stared back at him in shock.

"They're common plumbing fixtures, you numbskull!" Danny insisted as a heavy blush crept into his face while he imagined the conversation he was going to have with his own wife shortly.

"Yeah, I got that. So did Sister Agnes," his little brother returned with a huff. "And last I saw her she was headed into the school in search of your Linda, the 'good Reagan wife,' and by the way you'll be happy to know she's praying for you two tonight and expecting you for Mass first thing tomorrow morning, Daniel. Wait until she gets ahold of the Bishop and this lands on the Commissioner's lap during their lunch," he continued to mutter as he set the unopened bottle of scotch down on the table, plucked up his sleeping daughter off Danny's lap with a frown and made his towards the steps in defeat to put her to bed. "Take that too, you'll probably need it for Dad once he hears about this. And I thought I was saving him from the great NYPD turkey catastrophe today…" his voice trailed off as he ascended the steps and continued to talk to himself while mocking in Eddie's voice once more. "Oh, and Jamie… surprise! My mother is coming to stay with us for a visit tomorrow. Thank you, universe… I didn't have enough angry territorial creatures with sharp talons ready to peck or grasp my head off today… looking forward to it…"

"Jamie, wait!" Eddie called out as she tried one last appeasement before he disappeared. "What about supper?"

"I'm not hungry anymore!"


Well, that was silly and fun and this could have really been a triple-shot to include the arrival of Eva Janko as she wings her way back down from Rochester once more on a surprise visit with news of her own that might just keep all the Reagans up at night, but I had a great name for that one so decided to keep it separate. Have no fear though "Grandmommazilla" is coming up tomorrow with a special **BONUS DAY** posting of the first chapter of "Resurgence" later in the afternoon!