I step inside and everything looks different. Maya must have done some real redecorating because everything screams her. I see art hanging everywhere, but it doesn't look crowded everything fits together perfectly. Is she living here by herself?
I follow her into a living room. She takes a seat on the teal couch and I follow suit taking one directly across from her on the matching single seat. I watch as she shifts uncomfortably and I do the same. My eyes keep wandering around the apartment.
"It's my apartment for now," I pull my eyes from the art hanging on the walls and focus on her.
"It looks nice. I just thought you and Zay would be living together."
"We're working on it. He wants me to move in with him, but I can't seem to let this place go."
"Of course, it's your home. It's the place you've always known."
She looks around the apartment, "I guess."
"Change is okay. Sometimes it's what you need.
She shrugs her shoulders, and doesn't say anything. We don't say anything for a while, but I can feel her eyes on me when I turn my gaze away from her. I'm waiting for her to say something, however, the more I wait the more the nerves build up.
She coughs to fill the silence, "I need to explain what happened." I nod. She takes a deep breath, "Did Lucas tell you about how I found out?" again I nod.
"He told me that day that he was going to stop. I believed him. I really thought he was going to stop, Riley."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask not once looking up from my hands.
"I wanted to! Lucas begged me not to. He was worried that if you found out, you would leave him. But I knew you wouldn't. You loved him way too much to ever do that. But he wasn't convinced. He cried, Riley. He cried for me not to tell you, so I promised him I wouldn't say anything as long as he stopped."
She lets out a small sigh, "As far as I knew he had, so I kept my promise. That was until prom night. I watched the whole night as people walked up to him, and when I saw him leave you I followed him." She takes a deep breath, "I watched him as he handed little baggies filled with god knows what to people for money."
She looks at me trying to find my gaze, but I keep my eyes on my hands as I fiddle with my thumbs. "I was furious, Riles! It's like something in me just snapped. You had just told me you were pregnant a few days before and here he was doing something that could potentially put anyone he cares about in danger. Especially you!"
"I waited until he was alone in the hallway before I approached him. I was-"
I stopped her, "Why didn't you just find me and tell me right then?"
"I wasn't thinking. I was scared you weren't going to believe me. He was replacing me." I shake my head. "He was, Riley. I was okay with it though. I knew you found the person that was meant to be by your side your whole life. You found your person. So I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't believe me."
She clears her throat and I look up at her. I see her eyes shine from the wetness of tears she is holding back. "I yelled at him for lying to me. He told me he didn't have a choice that he couldn't stop until he was allowed to. So I told him to leave you because you didn't need the stress of him possibly being in trouble. You were pregnant!" I watch as she tried to blink back the tears that already started to fall, "I didn't want to hurt you Riley, but I was scared something was going to happen to you and to the baby."
I slowly get up and walk over to the couch and take a seat next to her, "I never meant to hurt you, but when he told me he couldn't." She stares off into the corner, "All that played in my head was the day I went home with him and walking into his house. Him shoving me into the closet because we heard someone," more tears start to fall from her blue eyes. "I heard him being slammed against the closet door. I had to muffle my cry with my hands. Riley, I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening, and then," she gulps, "then it was quiet and I hear a gun cock back. It was so quiet I could hear everything. I heard the fear in Lucas' voice." She lets the tears fall freely and I shift closer to her and grab her hand. She's shocked. She looks down and then locks eyes with me.
"He was scared Riley, so I didn't understand why he was still doing it. It was his choice and I didn't care anymore. I just cared about you, so I told him to leave you because it was the best thing but he refused to. I saw you there. I wasn't thinking clearly. The only thing that was on my mind was that night and instead of me in the closet I imagined you there, you and the baby you were pregnant with," more tears fall and I reach over wipe her tears as I try to hold mine back. "If he kept dealing, it would eventually be you there in the closet. Living the nightmare, I have had because of that night. But in my nightmares I get found, and I feel the cold gun pressed against me. I was scared of it coming true for you." She's almost incoherent through her tears.
"I never wanted to hurt you, all I ever wanted to do was protect you. I thought-" she can't finish because of her sobs. I don't think twice about pulling her into a hug. "I just wanted to protect you." I barely hear her through her tears and the fact that she buried her face into my shoulder.
I understand now why she did what she did because if I was put in the same situation I think I would have done the same thing. Then I would have done anything to protect Maya from getting hurt. I hate what she did, but I understand. If they would have told me all those years ago, I don't think I would have listened.
I would have been too hurt to see everything clearly and acted like everything was okay when it really wouldn't have been. It's a good thing I left.
After Maya pulls herself together, she pulls away from me. "I should have talked to you about everything, instead of taking everything in my own hands and trying to solve a problem with the worst possible solution."
I shake my head, "I want to forgive, maybe I can now that I know what really happened. I really missed you Maya." I feel a burning a sensation in my nose.
"I missed you, too, Riles." She engulfs me into another hug.
"Everything isn't going to go back to the way it was before, but I'm willing to try."
A small smile plays on her lips, "That's all I could ask for."
I can tell she wants to say something, but she fights herself. "What is it?"
She hesitates, "Zay told me something that you said yesterday that didn't make sense."
I look at the clock, it's almost time for me to leave back to the apartment. "I don't know what you are talking about." I stand up, "I should get going. I have to get back befo-"
"You had the baby didn't you?" she cuts me off.
I let out an uncomfortable and nervous laugh, "You are still Maya. Always talking before you can think." I look towards the front door, "I really have to go."
"To go back to-" she waits for me to feels in the blank.
I start to walk towards the exit, "If you want this to work, you really just have to give me time to tell you certain things. At this point Maya, I still don't trust you very much. Maybe one day I can."
"I understand. One day hopefully," she says following behind me.
I open the door and step outside. I take a deep breath and let it out before I turn around, "Goodbye Maya."
"When is the next time I'm going to see you?"
"Soon maybe," I turn around and walk away back to the subway.
When I'm outside my apartment my apartment, my phone starts to ring. It's probably one of my parents wondering where I am. I look and see Auggie's picturing staring back at me.
Hey Aug. I'm outside. I'll be up right now.
Don't come up! He whispers shouts.
What why?!
He's here.
Who is? I ask confused.
Lucas!
I really don't want to see him right now, especially this close to my flight. All he has to do it beg me to stay, and I just might. I hear rustling on Auggie's end of the phone.
Can you bring me my luggage down, but through my window?
I'm already on it.
Thank you! You're the best! I hang up the phone and make my way to the back.
When I make my around the back, I see Auggie reaching the bottom. He really is the best brother anyone could ask for. He always looked out for me, and did his best to protect me even though I'm the older sibling.
"Thank you so much!" I say embracing him into a constricting hug.
"I just didn't think you could handle anything else happening today." I tilt my head to the side. "I heard this morning. It was kind of hard not to wake up with you and mom shouting at each other."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Realization hits me, "That means you heard?" He nods. "What exactly did you hear?"
"Enough. I just want you to know I'm always here to talk to. I may be your younger brother, but all I ever want is for you to be happy."
"I know." My phone goes off. I look at it, it's a reminder of my flight time. "I have to go. You think they'll be mad that I didn't say bye?"
He shrugs his shoulder, "Probably, but they'll get over it. I'm going to miss you."
"I'm going to miss you too!" I pull him for yet another breath constricting hug. I pull away, "How about instead of waiting for Christmas, you, mom, and dad come spend Thanksgiving with me. You can even come early if you want and spend the week with me."
His eyes go wide, "Really?" I nod. "I'd really like that and I'm sure mom and dad will too."
"Well than it's settled." I look at my phone for the time, "Okay I really have to go now. I love you."
"I love you too. Call one of us as soon as you land."
"Always." We give each other one last quick hug.
It takes me about five minutes to get a cab to pull over. I put my luggage in the back and get in the car and tell him the airport. He starts to drive away and I'm staring mindless out the window. It'll be easy to come back, won't it?
But I can't.
My phone starts ringing, but this time it's my dad's picture who is flashing at me. He must have figured out that I wasn't coming back to say hi and wanted to give me a piece of his mind.
Hey dad. I'm sorry I didn't come in and say bye.
It isn't your dad.
Lucas? What are you doing calling me from my dad's phone?
Well I don't seem to have your number and your dad has grown to like me. I was here waiting for you. I wanted to surprise you, but to my surprise you never came up.
Yeah Auggie brought me my luggage through my window.
I should have figured he rushed out of the room as soon as his eyes landed on me. To warn you right?
Yeah. Are my parents mad I didn't say bye? I can hear voices mumble in the background.
Maybe a little, but I think they understand. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to say bye and maybe try to convince you to stay one last time. He whispers the last part.
And that's exactly why I couldn't see you because I think you might have been able to.
Really?! I hear the hope in his voice.
Yes, but you aren't going to get the chance I'm already on my way to the airport.
Not if I can stop you.
Good luck Lucas. There is more than one airport, and don't bother asking my parents. They won't tell you. Goodbye Lucas.
Before he can say anything else, I hang up the phone before I tell him which airport it is.
When the taxi driver pulls up front of the airport, I pay him and hurry out. If he does guess the right one, it's not like he'll be able to guess which gate. He doesn't know where I live. Disappoint hits me.
I make it through security a lot faster than I usually do. I go take a seat near my gate and wait. I find myself looking around the airport hoping that he'll show up, but he doesn't. Maybe I should have told him, and then we would have had a romantic airport scenes like in the movies.
My eyes don't stop scanning the airport until my gate is called. Real life is not like the movies. I make my way over to the gate, but before I walk through I look back one last time. Nothing.
Yeah not like the movies at all, if it was he would be standing there and I would run into his arms. Instead, I'm getting on the plane. Alone.
