Alec inhaled a deep breath before raising his fist to the door again… and then quickly yanking his hand away. Frustrated he grabbed his head with both hands. "If I can't even knock on his door then how the hell am I supposed to talk to him?", Alec thought helplessly to himself. He was nervous, of course! But what was he more nervous about? Thanking Magnus for saving his life? Or finding out the reason why? "Definitely the latter", Alec thought.
Glancing down at his watch Alec sighed when he saw the time. He'd been standing outside the door for six minutes, his heart was beating like mad. Slowly readying himself again Alec fluffed his hair and took another breath. "Okay… this is gonna go fine", he muttered to himself. But before he had the chance to raise his hand to knock on the door it quickly opened and he felt a hand reach out forcefully and grab his shirt, pulling him inside. Just as quickly as he'd been pulled inside, the door was shut again and his back was pressed against it. Alec gasped. The whole scenario had literally happened in a split second.
Magnus was staring intently at him, his fist still gripping his shirt. He looked frustrated. Alec's heart was beating so rapidly that he felt as though it would burst from his chest. The drumming rang so loudly in his ears that it blocked out all the other sounds around him. It was just him, Magnus and his heart. Slowly Magnus loosened the grip on Alec's shirt and rest his hand against his chest. Almost immediately Alec felt his heart relax, the beating returned to a normal pace and the pounding in his ears slipped away. In that moment they both looked up at each other. Blue onto gold. And for a second there was nothing else. Just the two of them.
Magnus was the one to step away. Alec watched as he walked slowly back into the loft and then awkwardly followed after him. "Are you not gonna say anything?!", Alec shouted after him.
Magnus spun around. "What do you want me to say?"
"Jeez! I dunno! Maybe Alec! I didn't actually die when I saved you and im sorry I didn't contact you making you worried sick!", Alec shouted.
"I was unconscious for four days."
"The attack was over a week ago! You've had three days to contact me! Do you know how worried I was?! I woke up and the first thing I saw was your dead body! Oh! And now everyone's wondering why you! Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn! Would save me! Me. Some… Shadowhunter."
"I'd save you any day.", Magnus stated, as it was no big deal.
Alec's eyes widened. "Saving someone and dying for someone are two very different things."
"Not when it's someone important. Are you saying that you wouldn't save me? If I needed your help?"
"Of course I would!"
"Well that's all there is to it! I wasn't dying for you. In case you haven't noticed already. I can't die! Trust me, I've tried."
"I remember the demon that attacked me.", Alec said slowly. "He came directly for me, he wasn't going for anyone else."
Magnus looked sick.
"He said something…"
"What?"
"Sorry, your just collateral damage. I'll send Magnus my regards. And then he did it."
Magnus gasped before falling back onto the couch behind him. He held his head in his hands. Before shouting out in frustration. Alec slowly walked over and sit down beside him.
"I'm sorry", Magnus whispered.
"He was your father. Wasn't he?"
Magnus's silence answered his question. They sat there quietly for a few minutes before Magnus finally spoke.
"He knows how I feel about you. He can't get to me… so he has to go through everyone I care about."
Alec looked over at him. "Why do you like me? I mean, really? what is there to like?"
For the first time that evening Magnus smiled. "Trust me when I say that there's loads of things. You've just been living in Jace's shadow. Jace is gold and your silver." Alec frowned. "I think silver's much nicer", Magnus finished, putting a smile back on Alec's face. "And much rarer to find. Trust me there's blonde bimbos everywhere. Sure he's good looking. But your beautiful. You just don't realise it."
Alec's eyes widened. Magnus thought he was beautiful? And there he felt it again. All the suppressed feelings resurfacing. The part of himself that Alec hid away. They were both leaning back onto the coach cushions, looking up at the ceiling. Gradually, Alec started to move his hand closer to Magnus's. Inching it closer, and closer until their fingers touched. Magnus looked down when they did. Together they both moved their fingers slowly until they were intertwined. Alec let a breath escape him. How could this feel so right? So magical.
Magnus turned his head sideways to look at him. Mimicking his movements, Alec did the same. They stayed like that for a while before Magnus sighed and turned to look at the clock. "You should probably go, I heard your parents are back in town. They'll be wondering where you are."
Alec sighed knowing that Magnus was right. "Yeah, I've been away too long."
They both rose reluctantly to their feet and walked slowly over to the door. Magnus looked down and realised that they were still holding hands. He grinned before raising his arm up and showing Alec, who too in turn smiled. The moment they untangled their fingers they both felt the loss and looked up at each other and held the gaze. Magnus was staring at Alec with a longing, and Alec was doing the exact same.
In a split second they had both closed the space between them, Magnus catching Alec's mouth with his own. There was so much want and desperation in the kiss, from both of them. It was nothing like before. Alec gasped into Magnus's mouth as he felt his back being pushed roughly against the door. His hands reached up and tugged on Magnus's spikes causing a moan to escape from him. Magnus had his hands gripping the sides of Alec's shirt, he quickly started to snake his hands underneath it. Alec broke away from the kiss gasping at Magnus's touch, before he quickly attacked his lips again.
Alec was surprised with himself. His first kiss with Magnus had been brief and yet it had been everything he had hoped for. It felt natural with him. Like he knew what to do even though this was all new.
Magnus felt himself slowly sinking into the kiss. He had been with so many people in his life, men and women. And yet this kiss left all of them behind. He felt as though he'd been running for miles and he'd finally found water. It was everything he needed. He finally accepted the fact that he couldn't push Alec away. He'd been avoiding love for years and now it had finally found him.
Maybe that wasn't so bad after all.
