Author's Note: I said it was long, didn't I? There was a lot of stuff that went into this, like a lot. There's tons of references, including another two characters who I don't own, but I'm going to see if you guys can tell me who they are. I don't share Zoro's opinions on things, it was just fun to look at how someone who doesn't know about manga and anime would react to it. I bended a few rules of layout too, sorry about that. I did another weirdly formatted story as well. All the warnings exist because I had fun with them. Thanks for the reviews will be found below as well as some songs from the playlist of my own. Let's see if you can name all the references as well. I don't own One Piece or basically anything in here.
Beautiful Disaster
By: Setkia
Full Summary
Sanji is the assistant cook of the world-renowned restaurant, the Baratie, the only restaurant like it in the world. He's a successful chef and flirts with the customers every chance he can get but there's a problem. It's all a facade. The cooks give a new meaning to the word "abusive", both mental and physical. The only thing keeping Sanji alive is his love for cooking and a good ol' pack of cigarettes.
Zoro Roronoa is a swordsman who suddenly has more change in his pocket than he expected and enters the Baratie by recommendation. His waiter happens to be a curly browed man with an adoration for cigarettes. An attempt speak to the head chef goes horribly wrong and he gets sucked into the crumbling world of the chef's, wondering how he can possibly save him and better yet, why does he want to save him in the first place?
WARNINGS for this chapter of Beautiful Disaster:
Mentions of past self-abuse
Fluff over-load
Pedophiles everywhere as well as gay men
Zoro ranting
Getting friendly in a car
Chapter 29: Be My Valentine?
February 14th. Valentine's Day. Guillotine Day. The day St. Valentine was killed for being a martyr. The day girls bought a thousand chocolates, handing them out to their thousands of crushes, bumbling through confessions. The day guys got cavities from being unable to refuse the sweets brought to them. The day that was the utter bane of Zoro Roronoa's existence.
The stupid red hearts had been everywhere recently, no matter where he turned. Honestly, it was one of the biggest pains he had ever experienced. Each year he wished somehow that the second week of February would just vanish into smoke magically because quite frankly, he couldn't stand it. Not at all. The sappiness, the stuffed bears holding hearts that read "je t' heart". It wasn't even grammatically correct, the phrase was "je t'aime", not "je t'heart". True, it was a picture of a heart and not the word, otherwise he'd really call them idiots, but still, it was wrong. The Valentine's Day specials on TV made his stomach churn, the stupid incorrect photograph people called a heart— it wasn't pretty, it was a fucking organ that kept you alive, it wasn't supposed to be pretty! It was supposed to pump blood throughout your entire body, it wasn't supposed to be slapped onto sales signs.
"Hey Sanji?"
The blond cook turned at the sound of his name. He put a splash of soya sauce into the frying pan before responding. "Yeah?"
"Valentine's Day …" Zoro trailed off. He cleared his throat, feeling awkward. "What do you think of it?"
Sanji bit his bottom lip and looked away from him. "What do you think of it?"
"I …" Zoro considered what he was going to say. He didn't like Valentine's Day, that was no secret from his friends. Maybe Sanji didn't know yet. Should he lie? Tell him he liked it? Zoro frowned to himself. If there was no honesty in a relationship, how was it supposed to work? "Hate it," he said finally.
"You do?" asked Sanji, his voice sounding quieter than before.
"Yeah," Zoro said, feeling more at ease with talking to Sanji about it. "Can't stand it. I remember at school, these girls would just walk up to me and shove chocolate in my face and they'd just rush out this weird jumble of words that I think were confessions. They always got so upset when I wouldn't take the chocolate. It's not my fault that I don't like sweets." He shrugged. "I think if they really liked me, they'd have known that."
"But, isn't half of liking someone the process of getting to know them?" asked Sanji. "I mean I had to spend about a month to know you don't like chocolate. If you never gave them the chance to learn … isn't that kind of making them give up before they had a chance to start?"
Zoro gave him a strange look. "Why are you getting all emotional on me, cook?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"No reason," Sanji said, turning his attention towards the stove.
"You never told me what you thought of Valentine's Day," Zoro reminded him.
"It's not important," said Sanji in a soft voice. "It's no big deal."
"Come on, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't hear my boyfriend's opinion?" Boyfriend. Zoro tried not to grin too much. He still loved the sound of that and liked it even more when he said it. "Sanji, I'll tickle you if you don't tell me," Zoro warned, getting out of his chair.
"That's your weakness, ahou," Sanji muttered.
"You know, you're very rude," Zoro muttered in his ear, wrapping his arms around Sanji. Sanji immediately tensed, but just when Zoro was about to let go, Sanji let out his breath again and relaxed a little into his hold. "Calling me ahou and all."
"Would you prefer baka?"
"They mean the same thing," Zoro reminded him.
"Baka's politer," Sanji said. "Zoro …" His voice became soft and quiet. Zoro leaned closer to hear him better. He felt tingles going through his body, waiting anxiously for Sanji's words. He was ready to bet it was something really seductive, the words he was about to tell him. "Get the fuck off of me, I'm cooking." And yet he said the words so softly, Zoro had to count to ten to calm his body down.
"This is what I meant, you have a filthy mouth," Zoro said. "So seriously, what do you think of Valentine's Day?"
Sanji sighed. "I don't … mind it, exactly," he said softly. "I mean I don't hate it like you do, it's just a holiday that's there, right? And yeah, the fact that women are treated with respect on this day is great, but it's kinda stupid that they aren't treated that way all around the year …"
"See, that's my point!" Zoro said with a big grin. "To act differently just cause the date says you need to be more lovey-dovey shouldn't affect how your relationship is, right? You could do that pointless romantic shit any time in the year, to have a whole holiday dedicated to some day a guy died is hardly necessary," Zoro pointed out, glad to see they saw things the same way.
"Well … I wouldn't put it like that really," Sanji said slowly. "I've celebrated Valentine's Day a lot, the Baratie makes special menus for different holidays. I've grown used to it," he said with a shrug. "Besides, I've never had— never mind." Sanji turned away from Zoro and went back to his stir-fry. "So we won't celebrate it, okay. I can do that. Besides, you wouldn't want chocolate anyway, would you?"
Zoro grinned. "Great."
He didn't see the strained look in Sanji's eyes when he smiled.
SMACK!
"YOU DID WHAT?!"
Zoro wasn't sure if he wanted to clean out his ear, or cover his stinging cheek. He opted for his ear, seeing as he didn't want to lose his hearing at such a young age. All of Nami's loud screaming was starting to piss him off. He sighed. "I told you, we aren't celebrating Valentine's Day," he said with a shrug. "I'm not that into it and neither is Sanji."
"Are you a moron?" She shook her head. "Never mind, of course you are. Really, I thought you and Sanji were getting better at understanding each other but you just keep taking two steps back and one step forward!" With a sigh, Nami sent a harsh glare in Zoro's direction. "Zoro, talk to me. Tell me, what kind of person do you think Sanji is?"
Sexy. Strong. Flexible. Very flexible.
"Zoro?"
"Hmm?"
"You were thinking dirty thoughts, weren't you?" Nami accused.
"No I wasn't," Zoro said, rolling his eyes. "Anyway um … you were saying something?"
"Zoro, don't tell me you don't understand the way your own boyfriend's mind works." She shook her head. "He's a total romantic, you realize that, right?"
Zoro looked at her strangely. "But—"
"There's no but about it, Sanji is a complete romantic. Do you know what Valentine's Day means to romantics?" Nami pressed.
Zoro sighed. "Don't tell me I screwed up again. Why can't he screw up our relationship for once?"
"It's just because you're a blunder headed idiot. Honestly, can't you tell when he's lying?" Nami demanded, putting her hands on her hips in an overly-feminine way.
Zoro sighed. "Just cause I'm not a mind-reader—"
"You don't need to read minds," Nami snapped. "You just need to look him in the eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul you know."
"Who believes any of those sayings crap?" Zoro sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I can fix this," he muttered to himself. "I can totally fix this …"
There was only one question looming in his mind.
Sure, he could fix it, but how?
"You have no idea how to fix this, do you?" she asked.
"I do," Zoro protested.
"Oh yeah? How?"
"I just need to …" Zoro made several hand gestures that had no real connection to anything, nor did they hold any meaning to anyone, himself included. Eventually he just threw his hands up in the air pointlessly when Nami raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him. "I don't know, do some romantic shit or something!"
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You're hopeless," she muttered under her breath. "Do you know how to read body language Zoro?"
"Body language?"
"Yes, reading the body and understanding things that aren't spoken, only displayed through movement of the body. I'm not a dictionary, I can't define everything for you."
"Yeah I know body language," Zoro said. "You think I could be a swordsman without it? Just cause I didn't know your fancy terminology doesn't mean I don't know what it is," he snapped.
"No, Zoro, what you know is direct body language. You know how to read people's bodies to determine their next move. Physically. What I'm talking about is something much more subtle." She laughed to herself. "That's why you don't get it. Look, either way, you need to know it. You and I both speak using body language, regardless of whether or not we realize we're doing it."
"Dammit, is this another one of those psychological things about your subconsciousness?" Zoro asked with a sigh. He rubbed his face for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Okay, fine, load your bullshit on me."
"Psychology is an actual course you can take, some people major in it," Nami said. "And it's very complicated, understanding the human mind is not easy."
"Isn't it based on chemistry?"
"It's based on chemical releases of the brain and various other variables," Nami said.
"Did you major in psychology?"
"No, I majored in meteorology."
"Okay, so now that we've got that all sorted out, don't talk to me about the human psyche, Miss Weather Girl."
Nami glared at him and all cockiness he had felt before left him. "Zoro, we're doing this whether you want to or not. Trust me, it'll help you with your relationship and not just your one with Sanji. I'm talking everyone here, including me."
"I'm getting a murderous intent vibe coming from you," Zoro said, backing his chair away from the table slightly.
"Body language," Nami said. "How can you tell I want to kill you?"
"I've got a better question," Zoro said. "How come you're not denying your urge to slaughter?"
"Slaughter is such an ugly word," Nami said. She batted her eyelashes in a rather innocent way, but Zoro wasn't fooled. "I much more prefer … domesticate."
"You domesticate people?" Zoro repeated. "How many skeletons are in your closet?"
"In five seconds there'll be one more in there than there was before," Nami said, glaring at him. "Don't test me. Now, how can you tell I want to kill you?"
Zoro sighed. He thought it was stupid, beyond stupid actually, but he sighed and decided to play along anyway. "Um, because your eyes are staring at me really creepily, kind of like you're imagining stabbing me with a knife—"
"Pitchfork, but close enough."
Zoro frowned. "Does Luffy know he's involved with a murderer?"
"Zoro, focus!"
"Got it." Zoro sighed and examined Nami. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her glare was unsettling. Her mouth was set in a firm line that was probably holding back curse words and wishing he had never been born. "You're just … very hostile right now."
"That's clear. Okay, think about Sanji this morning. How was he acting?"
Zoro tried to remember. Sanji usually cooked with his back to Zoro, which meant that he was rarely ever facing him. This also meant that this morning when he had pressed himself against Sanji and held him, he probably should've actually paid attention to the cook as a whole rather than being caught up in the aroma of the promising meal he was cooking and the sound of his voice.
"Um …" He shook his head. "I don't know, I mean he's usually not facing me."
"How did he sound?" Nami pressed.
"He …" Zoro could remember this quite well, but he didn't want to say something that would end with Nami trying to kill him. "I asked him about Valentine's Day. Since we're in a relationship, I figured I could tell him I wasn't that big of a fan of it." He paused, but Nami was still looking at him expectantly. "He sounded a bit quieter, now that I think about it. Almost … timid." He shook his head. "But Sanji isn't shy. Most of the time. And what reason would he have to be shy around me?"
"Maybe because you voiced your hatred for Valentine's Day?"
"Besides that." Zoro thought back to the conversation. "I told him about those girls in high school confessing to me—"
"Zoro, have you no shame?!"
Zoro blinked. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Did you do something wrong?" Nami repeated. "Of course you did, you inconsiderate imbecile!" She shook her head. "It's like an unwritten rule between two people in a relationship, you don't ever mention old flames."
"But I never dated any of them—"
"Never. Ever," Nami repeated. "What would you think if Sanji spoke to you about other people he had dated?"
Zoro bit his lip. "But he's never been in a relationship before."
Nami huffed. "Not all people are as fortunate as you, you know!" Nami sighed. "Anyway, what did he say?"
"He said that rejecting a girl because she didn't know I didn't have a sweet tooth was like forcing someone to give up before they even started. Then when I pointed out that he hadn't told me his opinion on Valentine's Day, he told me it was nothing important."
"What, did you just leave it at that?" Nami asked.
"No," Zoro said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not that shit with people. I wanted to know his opinion, so I asked him again. Pressed him a bit. He told me that the way women were treated on Valentine's Day should be that way all the time, all year-round and having a date specifically for it was stupid. Then he talked about how he had celebrated Valentine's Day a lot at the Baratie and something about special menus, I don't know. And then he said he didn't mind if we didn't celebrate it."
"Is that all?"
"Yeah," Zoro said with a shrug. "Why?"
"You're an idiot."
"You know, if you keep telling me that every day, it starts to mean less and less to me." He shook his head. "Anyway, what's the big deal? He said it himself that he didn't mind."
"That means he minds!"
"I thought only girls were supposed to be this cryptic." Zoro sighed. "Do I seriously need some kind of dictionary to understand my boyfriend?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "I've got about a week till Valentine's Day, I can figure something out."
February 7th, 7 Days till Valentine's
Zoro could figure something out. What did people like on Valentine's Day? Well, there was the obvious confessions and what not. He knew there were also the hearts and the ribbon and the huggable bears and keychains with their names on it. He looked it up on the Internet too and they had recommended buying edible underwear, but considering this was Sanji and Zoro wasn't even sure how much of his guts it took Sanji to give him his "gift", he decided that was stupid. Plus, it wasn't like he or Sanji were up for wearing panties. They weren't that gay.
The obvious choice was to get chocolate. He heard somewhere that Belgium chocolate, or Switzerland chocolate was the best. Or at least, finer made. Which was why he was standing outside a candy store with yen in his wallet and determination.
He walked into the store and the bells above the door rang out. Almost immediately, he felt nauseous from all the sweetness. It made him cringe as he walked to a display of chocolate. There was too much, too much sugar, too many possible cavities, too many fucking hearts everywhere.
"What are you looking for?"
Zoro swore that the tall giant of a man was following him. Though he hadn't seen him since he had been kicked out of that fancy kitchen store, he could recognize him and his innocent gaze anywhere. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he demanded.
The man gave him a smile.
"How many fucking jobs do you have?"
The man took a moment to pause. "Six, last time I checked."
Last time I checked? Why the fuck are you smiling so much if you're working yourself so hard? Where the fuck are your parents? And if you really are that man that Sanji met while going flower picking, why is a kid your age with so many jobs involved with an older lover? A male lover on top of it all?
Zoro shook his head. "Never mind, I don't need help."
"Do you know anything about chocolate?" asked the man.
"Do you know anything about chocolate?" Zoro shot back.
"I got Employee of the Month a while ago," said the man. He wasn't fucking bragging and perhaps that's what irritated Zoro further. "So I think I do."
Zoro wanted to strangle him, he really did, but the problem was he just looked so innocent and kind that he was that one person in the world who, after you strangled him and his body fell limp in your arms, you felt incredibly bad about it, even if you were a heartless serial killer with no human emotions.
"Fine," Zoro said, crossing his arms over his green windbreaker. "What do you recommend?"
"Is this for the same person who you wanted to get the knives for?" asked the man.
Zoro looked at him. "Did you know you share a lot? I know how tall you are, how many jobs you have, that you're gay, you've got an older partner, and that you work at a flower shop, a kitchen store and apparently, a candy store. But do you know what I don't know?"
"What?" He was genuinely curious. Damn him for being so straightforward and naive.
"Your name."
The man nodded, as though it occurred to him that this was quite true. "You share a lot too, you know," he said. "I know you're in a relationship with the blond man, that you have a short temper, have a bad sense of direction, remind people of thistles, and your lover is a cook."
"W-we're not l-lovers," Zoro said, fearing his stutter would do something to his credibility.
"And the two of you react the same to that statement," the man said with a grin. "I believe the blond's name is Sanji, correct? And yours is Zoro?"
Zoro gritted his teeth. "Now you're really pissing me off, Giant."
The man frowned. "That wasn't my intention," he said. "I'm Nowaki."
Who the fuck names their kid "typhoon"?
Zoro shook his head. "Look, are you going to help me or not?"
"What kind of chocolate do you like?" asked Nowaki. It felt good to put a name to the face. That way he could say that the employee with numerous jobs who was stalking him had a name he could give the police when he reported him for stalking and filed a restraining order. So what if he didn't have a last name? There couldn't be that many typhoons out there.
"I don't like chocolate," Zoro said, staring at the various chocolate brands with a frown on his face. "Hence my dilemma."
Nowaki nodded. "What kind of chocolate does your lover like?"
"Can you stop calling him that?" Zoro asked.
"You're turning a tad pink," said Nowaki with a big grin on his face.
"Am not," Zoro muttered, crossing his arms much like a child. "And I don't know," Zoro admitted. "Since … since I don't like sweet things, there isn't any chocolate in the shit apartment."
Nowaki nodded understandingly. "How about you sample some? Then you can buy whichever one you like best."
"Didn't I just tell you? I don't like chocolate, why the fuck would I have any?" he snapped.
Nowaki nodded once more. He was starting to remind Zoro of a bobble-head. "Belvus is a Belgium chocolate brand, a very good one too. It is a bit expensive though …"
"Aren't you supposed to make me want to buy it anyway, regardless of price?" Zoro asked him curiously.
"Why would I lie to a customer?"
Zoro sighed. "Never mind, I'll take it."
It was once it was ringed up at the register that Zoro realized what Nowaki meant by "a bit expensive".
Holy fuck, that's a lot of zeroes!
He bought it anyway.
His logic was as follows:
I'm already in front of the cashier, I've already waited in line. Plus that really annoying yet really innocent typhoon just spent the past five minutes talking to me.
The second he was out of the store, he realized how stupid it was. He didn't return the chocolate though, nor did he throw it out.
Instead, he just kept it, wondering why the fuck he had bought something that he didn't even like and wasn't a hundred percent sure Sanji would like either.
February 8th, 6 Days till Valentine's
Okay, so chocolate wouldn't work. He wasn't a complete idiot though, he knew he couldn't just do nothing. Because Sanji wasn't expecting anything, that meant that Zoro had a chance to really surprise him. He had gone through hell trying to figure out what to get the blond for Christmas, why the hell did he have to think so hard about thinking of something for Valentine's Day too? Why were they so fucking close to each other on the calendar? Better yet, why couldn't Sanji just be one of those pessimists who saw Valentine's Day as Singles Awareness Day?
He could buy the cook some anime DVDs. Yeah, that could work. But he'd look like an idiot walking into that store. He thought about it. Maybe? Maybe not? Did he dare to?
Fuck it, I've got almost no other ideas.
If he couldn't find something, it was easy, he just needed to go in and go out. No reason to be stuck in a conversation. Surely the tall giant of a man couldn't work at yet another one of the stores he went to, right?
He walked in and checked around, half-expecting to see him there. He didn't see him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he kinda missed him. Just a little.
The store had shelves of manga and racks of anime. God, which one was Sanji's favourite? He was pretty diverse in what he liked, so surely it couldn't matter all that much what Zoro chose, right? Unless it was an anime Sanji had already seen, which meant he'd just be re-watching it for Zoro's sake. Besides, wasn't anime a pretty piss-poor present for Valentine's Day?
Not if you're an otaku like Sanji.
He'd probably object to being called an otaku.
Don't all otakus?
He read some of the titles.
Gravitation. Okay, the art was overly-cutesy in his opinion. A music anime? he thought until he read the description. This was … this was … Is this gay hentai?! Immediately, he slammed the DVD case back onto the shelf. He was pretty sure he was scarred for life now.
Hmm, there wasSpecial A? Zoro frowned, reading the plot. So is this … what they call shōjo? Um, too girly for him.
Sensitive Pornography— holy fuck, they have the word pornography in the title? Fuck no!
Kaichou-wa Maid-Sama? Oh, it's just more shôjo.
Black Butler. There's a demon in here?! Cool! Wait, uh, why does it look like he's trying to fuck that little boy? Oh God, is this that shotacon thing? Fuck, is he a gay pedophile who rapes young boys? He really is a demon!
Love Stage! Why the fuck are there two exclamation marks? I already get it, you're excited. Zoro tilted his head as he stared at the cover. Is that … a boy or a girl? He squinted, not entirely sure of the blond's gender. Why does that dark haired guy remind me a bit of a rapist? Next.
"Ouran High School Host—" Zoro shook his head. Nope, not getting involved with host clubs. In fact, the cover just seemed to scream gay and he didn't like the way the twins seemed to be holding each other. "Does anime encourage incest?" he wondered aloud.
Suddenly, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Instantly, he spun around and immediately, his mouth dropped open.
There was a god standing before him. He was certain of it. He was tall, at least as tall as that typhoon guy, and had hair and eyes that just seemed to sparkle with flowers and all that stupid shit that Zoro was pretty sure came to make up the male protagonist of shōjo. His breath caught in his throat and even if he hadn't been gay or interested in guys in the slightest, he probably would've fallen head first for this guy. Of course, Zoro could never let his gruff exterior fade so almost immediately, he snapped at him. "Who the fuck are you?"
"I'm an employee here," the man said.
Zoro swore employees hated him, didn't they? "Do you want some help? I can recommend some anime, I read a lot of manga."
"You and Sanji," Zoro muttered under his breath.
"Sorry?"
It was strange to hear someone say "sorry" instead of "pardon". By the man's dazzling light hair and eyes, Zoro was willing to forgive him for his lack of using the proper word.
"Never mind," Zoro muttered to himself. "You said you could help me?"
"Have you ever tried Girl's Master?"
Zoro gave him a strange look.
"See, the story's pretty standard and all, but the latest volume just came out and—"
"Um, my friend likes things like Fullmetal Bi— Alchemist," Zoro corrected himself. Were all men's lashes that long?
The man nodded. "I see, I think you have a slight problem then. This is the shōjo section, the shōunen section is over there," he gestured towards a giant display of books and anime stacked high on shelves.
"Um, excuse me, but how many floors does this store have?"
"Eight," the man replied.
"I see …"
RING! RING! RING!
Zoro took his phone out and checked caller ID. "Sanji?" he asked. It was good to know the cook actually bothered with his phone.
"Where the fuck are you?"
"I'm …" Zoro paused. He looked at the god of a man. "Um, excuse me but … this is kind of strange but … where am I?"
"Marimo Books," the sparkly shōjo manga department employee replied with a smile. That smile had to be illegal.
"Marimo Books— hey, wait," Zoro paused but it was too late, Sanji was already laughing.
"Seriously? What are you doing over there? You don't even like manga!" Sanji said with a laugh.
Zoro glanced at the employee, trying his hardest not to blush. "You're talking really loudly," he said, "And the employees are starting to stare at me."
"Look, why aren't you home?" asked Sanji.
"I'm busy right now—"
"In a book store."
"They sell anime," Zoro defended himself.
"You want more Pokémon?"
"Shut up!" The tips of Zoro's ears were turning pink. It was beyond embarrassing.
"Whatever, just get back here when you can, Luffy wants us to go over to their house for dinner."
Zoro sighed. "Yeah yeah, whatever Curly Brow."
There was a soft laugh. "Bye Marimo."
"Bye."
He closed his phone and stared at the man who was looking at him curiously. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing," he replied. "I just didn't know there were so many gay men in Tokyo …"
"WHAT?!"
Zoro was fuming red, his fists curling at his side. He was in a fucking book store with several shelves of anime, speaking to an employee in charge of the shōjo section, who was now accusing him of being gay. Well, he was gay. Sort of. But that didn't mean he was okay with him just saying it so casually!
"Well, I suppose I just never noticed before," the man seemed to be speaking to himself. "Once I've met one though, it seems they're everywhere …"
Zoro gaped. "Are you mocking me?"
"Oh no!" the man said with a bright smile. "It's nothing like that at all. In fact, my lover's a man."
You're seeing gay people everywhere? No, I'm seeing gay people everywhere! And what the fuck is it with everyone calling other "lovers"?
The man looked over Zoro's shoulder and his smile brightened about a thousand times over. He started waving like a maniac. Zoro turned to see who he was gesturing to, only to see a small man who looked to be eighteen at oldest.
Fuck, are pedophiles everywhere too? Is there a name for that? They call women cougars, what about men? Do we just call them creepers or rapists?
Zoro shoved his hands in his pockets, giving up on the idea.
Fuck that, Sanji could get his own anime if he loved it so desperately. Zoro couldn't stand to be in that store for a minute longer.
It wasn't until he had left and stared up at the giant neon green sign that he wondered how come he hadn't thought twice about entering a book store with the name "Marimo".
February 9th, 5 Days till Valentine's
It was okay. It was fine. Zoro could just buy Sanji a card. Yeah, he could do that. There was nothing wrong with doing it.
So why did all the cards seem stupid to him?
Happy Valentine's Day, thinking of you!
Zoro wanted to puke at the pre-written words of the cards. They were so big and red and pink and just so … heart-sy that Zoro couldn't stomach it all. He sighed and opened a new card.
Roses are red, violets are blue
I don't need it to be Valentine's Day
To tell you I love you!
The fucking card was singing. It was singing a really stupid melodious song that made Zoro prepared to bash his head against the wall repeatedly until it stopped.
Make it stop, make it fucking stop!
Zoro sighed. This was impossible. This had to be illegal, who the fuck bought a singing card? But judging by how there was only one left on the rack, a lot of people did. Yeah sure, he'd buy a stinking singing card. If only to give Sanji a heart attack when he opened it unsuspectingly.
"Zoro?"
"WHAT?!"
The moment the swordsman turned around, he saw Sanji staring at him strangely.
Oh, it's just Sanji— wait, why the fuck is Sanji here?
Zoro swore under his breath. "Hey cook," he greeted the blond.
"Why are you here?" asked Sanji confused.
"Why are you here?"
"We need to stop this whole repeating each other thing," Sanji told him. He sighed and rubbed at his arm a bit. Zoro would've thought it was just a habit of his, did he not know what Sanji did to his arms. He wanted to trust him, he did, especially after what he had told him on Christmas— well, the day before Christmas, but he couldn't help worrying.
What if he was hurt? Had he been at it again? Did it sting? Did it burn? Could Zoro do anything to help him?
"Stop looking at me like that," Sanji said. "It's creepy."
"I can look at you however the fuck I want," Zoro snapped back. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Never mind, this isn't going anywhere. If I won't tell you why I'm here and you won't tell me why you're here, we may as well move on from that and focus on something else."
"You said you hate Valentine's Day."
"Yeah? Your point?"
"Why are you in a card shop, in front of the Valentine's Day display?" Sanji asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. It was almost like there was some hopeful light in his eyes. Fuck, how had he not noticed it before? He hated to admit it, but Nami was right. Zoro really did suck at reading body language.
"No reason." He couldn't take back what he said a few days ago, that'd be lying, but he couldn't say he was here to buy Sanji a card. Especially since he thought the cards were the stupidest thing on Earth. Sanji deserved better than pre-written words that came from some cheesy Shakespeare book.
Wait, Sanji liked Shakespeare, didn't he?
"I see …" Sanji shook his head. "You've been acting weird lately. I just wondered if you knew."
"Have I?" Zoro asked.
Of course he had been acting weird! After telling Sanji he hated Valentine's Day and realizing his mistake a few hours late, he couldn't go back on his word now, could he? So in his so far fruitless attempts to figure out what happened, Zoro was bound to act weird. Hell, he had walked into a book store! A fucking book store!
"I didn't notice."
Sanji gave him a strange look. "Never mind. Wanna go to the mall cafeteria? I'll let you hold my hand so you don't get lost," he teased.
"Fuck you," Zoro muttered but he grabbed Sanji's hand anyway and let the blush fill up his cheeks, noticing that Sanji was also matching the big red heart in one of the store's windows.
February 10th, 4 Days till Valentine's
Why was the week going by so quickly? Seven days should never pass this fast. When Zoro thought there had been plenty of time, three days had already passed and he was nowhere near close enough to figuring out what Sanji would want to do for Valentine's.
We should really communicate, shouldn't we? he wondered to himself with a sigh.
He flipped through his contacts. Who could he contact? Hmm, not Nami, she'd scream at him for still not figuring something out. No, he'd have to look somewhere else. Usopp? Nah. Maybe he could try … Luffy? Well, Luffy had helped him figure out the weird feeling he got in his stomach around Sanji, he could try it …
The second he pressed call, he regretted it.
Luffy answered after two rings.
"Hey Zoro, what's up? Got trouble with Valentine's Day?"
"Sorta …" Zoro sighed and fisted his hair. He had developed the habit to yank at his own head when he got frustrated in an attempt to reign in his temper. It didn't work, but now he couldn't really stop since it had become instinctual, now could he? "What are you and Nami doing for Valentine's?"
"Us?" Luffy said in surprise. "We're going out to eat."
"Oh yeah?" Zoro asked. "Where to?"
"This high-class place, I finally have enough money to go to," Luffy said. "It's … dammit, what's it called? Something with an Artie thing in it. I think. There's a B in it too, sounds really elegant and that sort of thing."
Zoro's eyes widened. "Luffy, you wouldn't be taking Nami to the Baratie, would you?"
He heard Luffy snap his fingers. "Yeah! That's it!"
"No Luffy, you can't do that," Zoro said.
"Why?" Luffy asked. "I mean you went there all the time, right?"
"You can't go Luffy," Zoro repeated. "Trust me on that."
"But why?" He could practically see the man's slightly confused frown. "Is it cause of the money? Cause I think I can handle it Zoro."
"Luffy, it's not about the money, it's about the people!"
"Yeah they're really rich and famous," Luffy said. "I think I might have to leave my hat with Ace for the night …"
"No, that's not what I'm talking about Luffy!" Zoro sighed. He really didn't have patience for the straw hat. It was a miracle he hadn't strangled him yet. "Look, I'm your friend right? You have to trust me when I tell you that you shouldn't go to the Baratie. Don't."
"Okay," said Luffy. "But why?"
"Can't you just trust my judgement?" Zoro asked, exasperated.
"'M just curious."
"For … personal reasons," Zoro decided. Sanji could be considered a personal reason, right? He was Zoro's personal boyfriend after all.
"Okay," said Luffy. "But what am I supposed to do with all my money now?"
"Just buy a steak or something. There's a good steak house somewhere in Tokyo, I know it," Zoro said. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "So don't go to the Baratie, there are tons of other places."
"Okay," Luffy said. "But Zoro?"
"Yeah?"
"You really need to think of something for Sanji."
Zoro sighed. "Like I didn't already fucking know. Talk to you later Luffy."
"Bye Zoro."
Zoro closed his phone and sighed. It was true, in the past four months or so, all he had been doing was eating either food from the Baratie, the occasional take-out and of course, Sanji's food. Where was a good place to take the blond?
Zoro's head shot up. He had an idea.
Immediately, he dialled the number and waited.
"Hello, this is the Orbit, would you like to make reservations?"
"Yes," Zoro said. "For two on February 14th."
There was scribbling on the other line, before it paused briefly. "February 14th?" the man on the phone repeated.
"Yes."
"I'm sorry sir, but that day is currently full, it is Valentine's Day, you know."
"Of course I fucking know that," Zoro snapped. "Why else do you think I'm reserving?"
"I do believe most people make their dates a bit earlier than a few days in advance, especially on special occasions like Valentine's Day."
Zoro gritted his teeth. "Are you telling me I'm scatter-brained?"
"A bit, yes, sir," said the man on the phone. "My apologies, but unless there's a more specific reason for you to require a seating in our restaurant, I'm afraid there isn't anything I can do. You're not someone in great authority, are you?"
"No," Zoro said, hating the man on the phone more with every word he spoke.
"Then I'm sorry, but I don't believe we can accommodate you—"
"But," Zoro cut in, closing his eyes tightly. He hated throwing his name around, it didn't work for things that were a great big deal, but on the occasion, for small, trivial things like dinner reservations, it was enough. "I am Zoro Roronoa."
Almost immediately, the man's entire demeanour changed. "Oh! Mr. Roronoa! Look at that, we just got an opening!"
"I thought so."
February 11th, 3 Days till Valentine's
Poetry was stupid.
Shakespeare was also stupid, as was Charles Dickens and anime in Zoro's humble opinion. Why was it that Sanji only liked stupid things?
Staring at the blank piece of paper, Zoro couldn't help but admit that it was hard to write something. To think of all sorts of metaphors and similes, he could admit that Shakespeare was kind of a genius, maybe just a little. But was it so fucking hard to write like a normal person? Why did he have to use all those "thee"s and "thy"s and "thou"s.
Okay, how do you even start a poem?
Zoro raised his pencil slowly. Argh, this was a pain. Um, okay what about the beginning of that damn stupid card?
Roses are red, violets are blue—
Wait, what the fuck? That's wrong.
Zoro shook his head. Well, not that wasn't totally wrong but …. Somehow, Zoro ended up writing his thoughts down as he thought them, his writing messier and even more illegible the more he wrote.
When he was done, he stared down at the piece of paper. It now read:
"Roses are red, violets are blue", that's what they say but it just isn't true, because roses are red and apples are too. But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue. An orange's orange, but Greenland's not green and a pinky's not pink. So what does it mean? To call something blue when it's not is to defile it, but ah heck, it's hard to rhyme "violet".
Zoro was very proud of himself. He had managed to rhyme relatively well without sounding stupid.
The longer he stared at the piece of paper though, the more he found he was a fucking idiot.
He crumpled up the paper and threw it into the waste bin just when the door to the apartment opened. Sanji came walking in, cigarette in hand, putting his lighter into his pocket. His old lighter had been blue, this one was black. Zoro felt pride.
"What are you throwing out?" asked Sanji. "You should recycle you know, it saves trees and that sort of shit. Do you hate breathing?"
"Do you hate breathing?"
"I thought we were going to stop repeating each other," Sanji said, giving him a pointed look.
"But do you hate breathing?"
"What are you talking about?" Sanji asked, pulling the paper out of the waste bin.
"Well I mean you're contaminating your lungs. You're going to die young of cancer."
"Good, then I won't have to complain about my back and I'll look beautiful going into my coffin," Sanji teased.
Though he said it, Zoro knew Sanji didn't believe it. He didn't know what it was going to take, but he was willing to do anything to get Sanji to believe him and see the beauty he saw in the blond.
"What the fuck is this?"
Zoro looked up at the paper Sanji was pointing at.
"Wait, don't read that!" Zoro screamed, jumping out of his seat at the kitchen table trying to grab onto Sanji's arm to get it away from him.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, huh?" Sanji read. "What, a love poem?"
"Not exactly," Zoro replied. "Can't you give it back to me?"
"Not exactly?" Sanji repeated.
"What happened to not copying each other?" Zoro teased.
"I think I'd like to read what kind of poetry a marimo can write." With that, Sanji proceeded to read Zoro's horribly written poem.
He watched as different emotions flickered across his face, from confusion to understanding to amused. "You don't have to be so literal, you know," he told Zoro.
"Yes, wonderful sensei, now will you just let me throw it out?" he asked. "It's useless—"
"I think I'm going to pin it up on the fridge," Sanji decided. Getting up on a chair (not that Sanji wasn't tall already), he put the piece of paper on the highest point on the fridge where neither could reach it, not unless they wanted to fight over a chair to get to it.
"There."
"I'm not in grade school," Zoro said through gritted teeth.
"Of course not, other wise I'd be framing your first D-," Sanji replied with a grin. He ruffled his hair. "Don't be so uptight Marimo, c'mon, I'll make dinner."
Zoro wondered what he had ever done to end up with Sanji.
While perhaps he may have been good for Sanji, he was pretty sure Sanji was even better for him.
With a grin, he proceeded to tease Sanji throughout the process of making his supper.
February 12th, 2 Days till Valentine's
Zoro hated ties.
He hated ties, suits, dress pants, dress shoes, bowties, blazers (unless they were Sanji's) and he really, really hated tailors.
Zoro hadn't worn a tie since his graduation and even then, he had been playing with it so much that it had come undone by the time he had gone to get his diploma. He wondered what Sanji would've thought of him, a green haired kid in the back of the class, unable to pass math class but could pull the best marks in the grade when it came to gym and samurai history.
It didn't help that he was ticklish either.
"Stop moving!" the tailer told him with a firm glare. "You'll get poked with the needle!"
Zoro tried to stand still, but of course, he couldn't. It wasn't his fault that the feeling of the tailor's hands on his sides made him feel like he was being tickled. It was better to think he was being tickled rather than molested. Now a days, whenever someone other than his friends or Sanji touched his body, for some reason, Zoro assumed they were all out to touch him in … inappropriate places …
"Why's the seam green?" he asked the tailer, looking down at him as the man fixed the hemming.
"Because it suits you better."
"But I like blue," Zoro complained, knowing he sounded like a whiny kid, but not really caring at the moment. Blue was his favourite colour. It reminded him of the colour of the sky, of the ocean … and now of Sanji.
"And I like money," the tailor huffed. "You wouldn't look good in blue. We have a green tie for you as well, otherwise you'll be wearing black."
"Why does this shirt feel so weird?"
The man sighed and stood up. "Why are you wearing this?" he asked Zoro.
"Huh?"
"You don't seem like the type to go to formal places, so what is it? A wedding? A graduation ceremony?"
"None of those," Zoro replied. "Just … a date," he said softly. It would be their first official date and Zoro was beyond anxious about it.
"Oh yeah?" asked the tailor. "Well then, stop being so fidgety and you can surprise her with how well you clean up," the man said. "You have the face and the body to be rather attractive, you're not trying."
Zoro gave him a strange look. "Are you coming onto me?"
"Do you want me to?"
The rest of the fitting Zoro was as rigid as a board, trying not to move at all and he yelled whenever the tailor's perv-y hands went anywhere lower than his waist.
Sanji better be damn grateful.
"Hey! Don't touch me there!"
February 13th, 1 Day till Valentine's
Zoro wanted out. He was going to die, he knew it.
February 14th, 0 Days till Valentine's
Zoro felt sick. He wasn't a hundred percent sure he'd be able to go through with this. Not at all.
Still, he gave Sanji a smile and swallowed his pride and just about everything else that could possibly be contained in his body because otherwise, how else was he supposed explain his urge to puke? "So uh, you see … I wanted to um … I uh, got this place that we could er … go for the night and uh, y-yeah cause I … I figured you don't want to cook on Valentine's Day, right?"
Sanji gave him a strange look. "Um, okay," he said slowly. "Where are we going?"
"Orbit," Zoro forced the word out.
Sanji nodded. "When's the reservation for?"
"Um, about … half an hour?" Zoro said, checking his watch. It was also at this moment that he realized that he needed to change. He had not just spent four hours trying to avoid being groped by some perverted tailor to not wear the damn suit. "Get your blazer and wear something nice, it's a fancy place."
With that, he headed towards his room.
"You sure you can afford it?" asked Sanji, yelling down the hallway.
"It's on me!" Zoro said, slamming his door close.
He hated ties. He really did.
Putting on the nice fancy pants was easy, as was the blazer and doing up that annoying button that nearly suffocating him, but he still managed.
Fucking cooperate, damn tie!
He so didn't want to do this, but he knew he'd look stupid without the tie. "Sanji?"
"Yeah?" came his voice.
"Could you … ah, could you help me with something?"
Sanji entered Zoro's room, almost immediately turning his back to the large full-length mirror. Zoro didn't know if he did it unconsciously. "Don't tell me you don't know how to get d—" Sanji cut himself off with a whistle. "What's with the get-up?" he asked.
"Just help me with the fucking stupid tie," Zoro snapped, holding out a his tie.
Sanji sighed and wrapped it around Zoro's neck. "Okay, watch me do this Marimo cause it's not that hard," Sanji told him. Zoro watched, sure. He watched the way Sanji's eyes were completely focused on his hands, the way his brow furrowed in concentration. "And then you just pull it through here." There was a tug and Zoro stumbled forward slightly.
Sanji put his hands on Zoro's chest, pushing him away lightly. "There you go," he said. He was looking at the ceiling. If he looked behind him, the mirror would be there.
"Where'd you learn to do that?" asked Zoro.
"Zeff," Sanji replied. He sent Zoro a glare, a blush on his cheeks. "Now I feel under-dressed."
"It's fine," Zoro insisted. "Come on, we should get going." He smirked. "I'll even use your present to get there."
Sanji rolled his eyes. "If you really wanted to impress me, you'd get there without the help of Siri."
"Tough shit, Siri's coming with us," Zoro said, pulling Sanji by his sleeve. "Now get into the car, Curly Brow."
This place was too fancy. True, the Baratie was sickening and made Zoro's stomach churn but the politeness of this place made him want to gag as well. Sanji fit in so perfectly here. Zoro on the other hand, felt like choking himself with his tie, though it wasn't like it wasn't doing that on its own.
"Any reason why we're here?" asked Sanji. "I thought we were just going to stay in and watch that Valentine's Day special of that stupid soap opera you like watching."
"Why do they call it a soap opera anyway?" Zoro asked curiously. Of course he was delaying Sanji from figuring out why they were in such a posh place, but then again, he actually was wondering about it.
"Because they're so dramatic and over-the-top that you want to scrub your eyes out with soap when the fucking episode that feels like a movie is over," Sanji said. Picking up the menu his eyes widened. "Holy fuck, Zoro this place is expensive!"
"You know the Baratie charged me roughly around this amount, right?" Zoro pointed out.
"We have good food, they might just be poisoning us," Sanji complained. Zoro wondered whether or not he realized that he still considered himself part of the Baratie, despite not stepping foot in there for over two months. "And when did you get a suit?"
"Um …" It'd be weird if I said it was like, two days ago, right?
"Never mind," Sanji said, waving his hand as though he could brush the matter off and let it fly away in the wind. "The service here is terrible," he muttered to himself, calling upon a waiter.
What the fuck was I thinking? Sanji worked in a restaurant, a really high-class one. This is like going wine testing with some snobbish woman who lathers on too much lipstick. Zoro cringed at the thought of Sanji in lipstick. Sanji was male and he was better off that way too. Something tells me he's going to critique everything …
"Hey Zoro?" asked Sanji in a quiet voice, running his finger over the rim of his glass, the faintest sound of humming being able to be heard from the beverage. "Is … do you not like my cooking?"
"WHAT?!"
Everyone stared at him. Zoro didn't bother lowering his head in shame, he had gotten over it at this point. "How the fuck could you think that?" he demanded.
"Well I mean …" Sanji turned his head away from Zoro and seemed to fiddle a little with the buttons of his blazer. "We're at a fancy restaurant. We've never done this before and I mean, if you wanted to eat something nice, you could've just asked me. You didn't have to get yourself all dressed up and …" Sanji shook his head. "Never mind, it's stupid." He took a deep breath as though clearing his head.
Was that … a wheeze?
Zoro was just about to ask him about it when Sanji called over a waiter. He ordered his meal like the gentleman he was and Zoro was tongue-tied, trying to remember how to pronounce common words like, "please" and "thank-you". He was so out of his league here.
"Are you okay?" Sanji asked Zoro when the water left.
"What do you mean am I okay?" Zoro squeaked. "I'm fine."
"You just look … uncomfortable," Sanji said. "We can go if you want."
"No, I'm good," Zoro replied. "I'm fine. Just … a little bit tense." He was freaking out and from the concerned look on Sanji's face, mixed with the confusion in his eyes, he had no idea why they were even where they were.
Sanji complained about the service thoroughly, and when their meals came, he sent his back to be reheated seeing as it had become lukewarm.
Zoro was fidgeting with his collar. Why were there so many buttons and why did the one at the very top have to be done up? He was pretty sure he was choking from the collar, if not the tie. The sweat started to drip down his forehead and he wondered whether or not it would be rude to undo his tie (not that he knew how to do that) and unbutton maybe two or three or all of the buttons on his shirt. He felt like he was suffocating. His fingers quivered as they tried to undo the top button, but every time it seemed close, it would slip out of his grasp. He blamed his meaty swordsman hands.
"Zoro—" Sanji turned in his direction at that moment. He put down his glass and leaned across the table, loosening Zoro's tie and undoing the top button. He could breathe! It was a miracle! Sanji paused for a moment before pulling the tie off entirely and popping the next two buttons as well. "Better?" he asked.
"Yeah," Zoro said, trying to catch his breath.
"Don't force yourself to be here if you really feel uncomfortable," Sanji told him. "I don't mind."
"No, we're staying," Zoro said firmly. "At least until we've both eaten."
Sanji nodded, but his brow was furrowed, probably trying to figure it out.
Zoro waited until Sanji's plate came back before he ate.
"You didn't have to wait," Sanji told him. "Your meal's probably a bit cold now."
"It's fine," Zoro told him with a shrug. "I don't mind. Besides, eating on my own at a table across from you just means you can hear the chewing sounds I make and it's kinda gross." He instantly froze. God he was so strange, wasn't he?
Sanji let out a laugh. It was soft but it wasn't mocking or patronizing. "Oh yeah?" he asked. He took his fork and put it in Zoro's food, stealing some. Taking a bite, he frowned. "This is practically frozen. I'll ask to send it back—"
"No!"
Sanji froze. He had been about to pick up Zoro's plate, probably planning on heading into the kitchen itself and demand they be treated better, but Zoro grabbed his arm and stopped him. "It's fine," he said for what felt like the thousandth time.
"Zoro, do you want to tell me why we're here?" Sanji asked, giving him a strange look. "Because you're really starting to worry me."
Zoro sighed. Okay, how did he put this? He couldn't just babble everything out, could he?
"Well, see, remember when I asked you what you thought about Valentine's Day? And then I told you I hated it and then you said we wouldn't be celebrating so then I was like, okay, cool, and then I told Nami about it and she slapped me and lectured me on body language and how you're such a fucking romantic, which means that you love Valentine's Day and were lying through your teeth, so then she told me I had to fix it. So I went to this chocolate store, right? And do you remember that guy from the flower shop? I think he's a stalker, I swear, cause he was there and he gave me Belgium chocolate cause he said it was good and apparently his name's Typhoon, which is really weird— well no, it's not Typhoon, it's Nowaki, but it's the same thing, right? Anyway, then I thought that was stupid so I didn't give them to you but I have them in the back of the car if you do want them, but I think they're totally melted by now … Then I wanted to get you manga or anime or something and how was I supposed to know I was in the shōjo section? They should really have signs for that! And that stuff's aimed towards girls? What kind of fucked up shit is that, perverted demons and alien stalkers from planet Pheromone? Even the employee who worked there had to be a pedophile, I think he's dating someone like, at least six years younger then him! I'm sure that short guy was a minor!" Zoro took a deep breath and continued before he could stop himself. "And so then I thought hey, why not get you a card? Except those cards are crappy and they fucking sing— Sanji, who the fuck would buy a singing card? And then you were there and I don't know why you were there, but you were and so then I ditched that idea. So then I called Luffy cause I had no fucking clue what to do so I asked him what he was doing with Nami— don't look at me like that, I know you're not a girl! And he said he was taking her to a fancy restaurant so I was like, okay, sure so then I had to call up the Orbit and toss my name around and then it was after that and after I tried poetry cause you like Shakespeare and that shit, but then well it turned out like that and you saw it and it was horrible and I swear in the middle of the night I'm ripping it off the fridge, but anyway, it wasn't till after the shitty poetry that I learnt they had a fancy dress code or something so this perverted tailor ended up feeling me up to get my size and stuff and dear God, I swear, is everyone gay? And I know I'm ranting and this is incredibly weird and all, but I'm paying the bill and you couldn't be grateful that I took you here, you bastard, I mean I'm going to be totally broke when this is over and what do you do? You're like the pickiest eater in the entire fucking world! It's not my fault that I screwed up— okay, it is, but I just wanted to do something for you even if Valentine's Day is bullshit and now we're going to get kicked out of the fucking restaurant because I couldn't fucking breathe!"
Zoro took several deep breaths, trying to catch it back. He gulped, his throat feeling dry. He tossed his head back and drank his glass dry until the only thing left were the small ice cubes at the bottom, which he then tossed into his mouth and began to crush with his teeth. "I fucking swear, if I develop a habit of eating ice every time I need a fucking drink, so help me God, I'd rather take the sake."
It was once the last ice cube made its way down his throat and he shivered that he realized Sanji was dead silent. He felt like crawling in on himself, keeping quiet and not saying a word. This was totally awkward, totally not healthy and he felt totally bad about the whole thing. He bit his bottom lip, gnawing at it. He pushed out his chair and put his jacket back on. "I'll get the car," he muttered, shoving the tie into his back pocket.
Still, Sanji said nothing and the panic in Zoro's chest finally fell to complete and utter embarrassment. What the hell was he doing? He should've just let them leave the whole fucking Valentine's Day thing alone but noooo, he had to press the issue and end up in this situation. He wouldn't be surprised if he was single come morning.
"The car's in the other direction, Marimo."
Zoro stopped and turned around to see Sanji getting up. He was tucking in his chair, as well as the chair Zoro had just left for grabs and took out his wallet. He put at least 100 00 yen on the table. He walked ahead towards the front and Zoro followed him, feeling a bit like a kicked puppy. Oh God, he was going to be a kicked swordsman soon, wasn't he?
Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Sanji thanked the man at the reception for the meal and pardoned them (pardoned, he didn't excuse, he pardoned) for causing a disturbance.
Once they were outside in cold, the snow falling, Zoro found himself wanting to smile. It kind of reminded him of a movie. Then again, with what had just transpired in the restaurant, this was probably a break-up scene. Sanji stood at the driver's seat and gestured towards the car. "Get in," he said.
He sounded so cold, Zoro shivered, which had nothing to do with the snow that slipped underneath his collar. He nodded and got into the passenger seat, not even arguing about how it was his car and how he should drive (it only made sense, right?).
Zoro sighed. "Look, Sanji, I'm s—"
Sanji cut Zoro off by kissing him.
With his arms wrapped around the green-haired swordsman, he pulled him closer, pulling at the collar of his jacket to bring him nearer to him. Sanji was ruthless as he kissed him, pressing his lips harshly against Zoro's, biting at him feverishly. Zoro pulled Sanji closer, the armrest between them only serving as a nuisance. Sanji pulled at Zoro's hair, bringing him even nearer, if possible.
"Ahou," he muttered against Zoro's lips as he practically climbed over the armrest to rest in Zoro's lap.
He pressed the swordsman against the back-rest of the seat, his hands going underneath Zoro's jacket to his dress shirt, Sanji's cold hands running over the exposed skin from Zoro's unbuttoned shirt. He ran his fingers through Zoro's hair, combing through them, his nails digging into his scalp, making a moan escape the younger man's throat.
"Fuck, what are you doing to me?" Zoro asked, kissing him back fiercely, his hands running down Sanji's arms to his waist, then lower to his thigh. He massaged it gently, trying to pull him closer to him.
The blond gasped, breaking away from Zoro, burrowing his head into Zoro's neck. He could feel Sanji's breath on his neck. He seemed to be trying to catch his breath but there was something about the way he drew in his breaths that hinted it was more than just being breathless. He raked his fingers through Sanji's hair, wondering what had just happened.
Am I dreaming? Is this a parallel universe?
The two had shared several kisses, but nothing like this and never initiated by Sanji. Aside from the surprise blowjob, Sanji had never started anything intimate like this. The two had kissed, they had never made-out. It had never been so raw, so desperate as just now and Zoro's head was still spinning as Sanji stayed in his lap, breathing softly onto his neck.
"Do you know," said Sanji in a quiet voice, whispering in Zoro's ear, "what I do on Valentine's?"
Zoro tried not to shiver. God he loved Sanji's voice. "No," he said in a hoarse voice.
"I'm watching couples come into the Baratie, hand in hand," he said. "They sit down and begin to talk, pointless things, really. They order a special and steal kisses, say sweet nothings to each other." Sanji's hands were running up and down Zoro's bare skin. He felt like he'd hold his breath forever if Sanji would just keep doing that, stroking his chest, occasionally slipping even further underneath his shirt. He let out a gasp, but stayed silent otherwise, trying to listen. He knew this was important for Sanji, what he wanted to say. "When they're done, either the man pays, or they split the bill and leave, hand in hand. Do you know what I'm doing while they're doing that?"
"No," Zoro said softly.
"I'm running between the kitchen and the dining hall," said Sanji, a hint of sadness in his voice. "And do you want to know what you just did for me, Zoro?" he asked quietly.
Zoro stayed silent, knowing this wasn't a question he was meant to answer.
"I didn't have to watch," Sanji answered for him. "I didn't have to watch, I was able to be watched."
He puled away from Zoro's ear and looking at him with eyes that held so much emotion, Zoro couldn't tell just what it was that was in his ocean blue eye, just that it was beautiful and he wanted to kiss him again.
"Thank you," Sanji said softly, looking like he was on the verge of tears. "Thank you so much."
Zoro gently put a hand on Sanji's cheek, pulling him closer. Sitting in his lap made Sanji taller, causing Zoro to raise his head, but he didn't care. He gave Sanji a soft kiss, his lips barely skimming his. "My pleasure."
"HEY! BASTARDS, YOU GONNA MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR?!"
Sanji jumped and scurried over back to the driver's seat, Zoro's heart still racing a thousand miles per second. Sanji rolled down the window and screamed several cuss words of his own back at the one who had yelled at them before he backed them out of the parking lot and headed back to the apartment.
Zoro couldn't help letting out a sign of relief. He couldn't believe that had just happened. He was high off it. It was fucking amazing. The fact that he had feared a break-up had probably made the event about a thousand times better.
They drove in silence for a while before Sanji spoke. "Were you really molested by a tailor?"
Zoro let out a laugh. "You have no idea how many times he went for my crotch," he said, shaking his head. "So, you're really not mad?"
"Why would I be mad?" Sanji asked, making a turn.
"Because I practically got us kicked out of a restaurant and the service was horrible and I told you I hated Valentine's Day," Zoro listed.
"You're right, I should totally kick you out," Sanji said. "Get out, walk the rest of the way."
Zoro stared at him, wide eyed.
Sanji rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding. Look, maybe you did kind of go over the top and totally screwed it up—"
"Gee, thanks," Zoro muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Hey, I'm giving you feedback, you should be taking notes for next year."
"I thought I couldn't keep you around to next December, never mind February?" Zoro teased quizzically.
Sanji's eyes didn't leave the road for a second. "I can be persuaded," he said casually, but even in the low lighting, Zoro could see he was blushing. "Anyway just so you know, Belgium chocolate's got alcohol in it, so stay away from it. You should be able to tell the difference between shōjo and shōunen manga and besides, I don't need any anime, I'm taping my shows on your PVR—"
"Wait, are you taking up all my space?!"
"— also, don't talk about good looking people around me, I probably won't be in a good mood for the rest of the day. Give me the name of that tailor, I'll make sure to kick him in the balls. Hard. Don't keep chocolate in your car, it won't do you good and the cleaning bills will be ridiculous, I swear, open your trunk and feel the deep regret of buying expensive Belgium shit. Next time you go to Zoro Books, bring me with you, I have to kick the pedophile in the balls too. Don't look at me like that, it's called Marimo Books, of course I'll call it Zoro Books. I could've called it Idiot-Swordsman Books, so be grateful I didn't. If you want a fancy meal, ask me, don't send me to crappy restaurant like that. If we ever find that Typhoon guy again, we're filing a restraining order, so remember his name cause he's so insignificant to me, I've already forgotten it. And I swear if you ever freak me out as much as you did this past week, I'll be kicking you in the balls so hard, you won't be able to pass on your weird-ass green hair genes." Sanji took a moment to pause, looking at Zoro briefly before putting his eyes back on the road. "Lastly, you look good in a suit, but …" Sanji was blushing, Zoro knew it. "You look even better right now."
Zoro blushed, staring down at his practically half-bare chest. "Thanks."
"Don't say that, that sounds conceited," Sanji snapped at him. They turned another corner. "You're lucky I like you cocky," he said with a smirk.
It was official. Zoro was absolutely head over heels for the man and he might just burst if he didn't tell him.
It was once they got back into the apartment and Zoro lay in bed thinking about how he'd tell Sanji that he may have possibly just realized he was hopelessly in love with him that Zoro realized something.
Sanji's birthday was coming up.
Author's Note #2: The thank-yous!
JustCallMeLucie: The monster under my bed, huh? I thought I had already exorcised them... Oh well. I kinda wanted the fight scene to be one of those where Sanji gets one up on Zoro, but it was a matter of pride in a different sense then you might thing. See, before Sanji kicked him in the head, he gave Zoro this look and though I didn't describe it that much since Sanji's focus was more on finishing the fight, Zoro understood it as a look that meant "I feel very bad for you", when Sanji was actually apologizing for what he was about to do. I didn't want Sanji to win because he was just naturally better than Zoro because I like to think of them as equals, so I had to give Sanji a reason and that reason was his inability to breathe while he was fighting. All of his moves became desperate and quick and he needed a quick ending because he was having a bit of trouble breathing and while he was getting tired out, Zoro had great stamina. Thank you, I honestly don't think my writing's all that good, I'm good at writing characters if I can relate to them so when I did this AU, I made Sanji really self-conscious. Fits me pretty well, but I have Zoro's stubbornness and I do resort to "SHUT UP!" when I can't think of anything else to say in an argument. On days when stuff really doesn't go well, I kinda feel like I'm this AU version of Sanji, course, I'm not suicidal and not that big of a fan of Shakespeare but ... well yeah.
Neo Rulez: Thank you! I realize you wrote this review for chapter 1, so seeing my response to your chapter might take a while, but I'm always happy when I get new readers! And by Neo, do you mean Neo from The Matrix?
Random person: Um... what does that mean?
Shizuka Taiyou: You seriously read my mind. Well, not the thing about Digimon, but I was thinking about writing a chapter where they have an anime marathon, just to have Zoro react to things. I'm having great fun with him!
lilcutieprincess (x3): Okay so I listened to that song and after about twenty seconds I was like, "That's the theme song for Pretty Little Liars, isn't it?" and then I just went totally still and got paranoid. I don't watch the show but damn that song's creepy. I hope you liked this chapter, I worked really hard to get it this way!
fangal4life: Okay, I'm not sure if this is going to make you stop reading because of my inexperience, but confession time: um, the main reason I know of Ace's existence is because my friend was like, "you should watch One Piece!" So I did and after like, 15 episodes I still couldn't get over Luffy's name cause I used to pronounce it like "fluffy" without the f and then I was like, "why does he have no muscle if his punches hurt that much?" and then she was like, "he has a brother! But he dies!" and then I just got pissed at her. I haven't seen One Piece in a while, I have a window open to watch more of it. Now here's the real confession: I'm not far enough in the anime to have even met Ace. Yup, that's sad, I know. I looked him up on the One Piece wikipedia, he turns up around episode 91 or something, right? I'm like in the mid-60s right now. Yup, it's sad, I know. I put him in there because I've read a lot of One Piece stories for Zoro and Sanji and they always have Ace in there, somewhere when it's an AU, so I put him in. He doesn't play that big of a role. I swear when I watch more of the show, this whole story's going to be revised to put more characters in cause I seriously haven't met them yet. God, is that pathetic? To write for a fandom you know close to nothing about? Yeah, probably ... I know I do that too, people tend to get rid of the chemistry once they're together and I'm sure it's not on purpose, but it shows. I hope I didn't do that though, I hope you still think they're goo!
Okay, so I'm going to give you the challenge of naming all the things I referenced in here cause yeah, I used more references. A lot of them. Also, as for the reason why Black Butler and yaoi was with the shōjo ... well let's be honest, it's mostly girls who love yaoi, right? There are 2 characters in this chapter who I do not own, who I want you to figure out who they are as well.
Now I shall proceed to tell you some songs from this story's playlist because I can't write in silence. If you want, listen to them. You can tell me if you agree with my choices.
Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert.
Just Might Change Your Life by Sidewalk Prophets.
By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North
Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North
You Are More by Tenth Avenue North (ignore the fact that it sounds pretty religious)
The Last Night by Skillet, it was a chapter title, it was placed here because ... yeah.
Distance by Chrstina Perri and Jason Marz (is that how you spell it?)
Try by Colbie Caillat (I can't spell her name, forgive me) because I know the song sounds girly and the music video focuses on girls, but the message is clear and I think it would really mean something to Sanji.
Lego House by Ed Sheeran.
Everything is Alright by Motion City Soundtrack
Little Things by One Direction
Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
Brave by Sarah Bareilles (can't spell these people's names ...)
Okay, those are all the songs I'm going to tell you for now. And yes, I do listen to a strange variety of music that comes from just about everywhere. Also, ignore how all these songs mainly speak about heterosexual relationships.
