Today is Maya's big day. She's getting married to someone she loves. I'm in a hotel room right now with her and Smackle. Katie and my mom had left to make sure everything in the ballroom where the ceremony is going to be held was ready as well as the room for the reception. How Maya manage to pull this all together such last minute is beyond me.
I stand behind Maya as she stares at herself in the mirror. I've never seen her look so happy; her eyes twinkle. Her dress is a simple white flowy strapless dress. She has her hair half up and in wavy curls that cascade down her back.
"You look absolutely stunning! The most beautiful bride," I say and she spins to face me. I can see her eyes glossed over.
"Riles, I don't think I've ever felt this happy," her smile is worth a thousand words.
I take one of her hands in mine "You've never looked happier," we both laugh. "I still can't believe you pulled this all together. You didn't have to move the wedding here."
Smackle makes her way to us, "Yes she did. It was the only way we could get her to calm down. After she found out Lucas was coming to visit you, she wouldn't stop with all the scenarios that would keep you from her wedding. None of us wanted her to stress too much because she's pregnant, so we came up with this plan." Smackle turns to me, "So bubbles, you and Lucas? What happened? I heard about the proposal, but no one know what you said."
"You know about the proposal? Zay?" I laugh.
Smackle shakes her head, "No, Farkle knew Lucas wouldn't be able to resist asking you. Lucas loves you and you love him, so what happened?"
Maya scoffs, "Yeah I don't even know and I was there when he proposed but you guys just left. You didn't even tell me after you came to visit me last night." Maya smiles, "Which I'm glad you did. It's what we need."
"Yes, it is," I return the smile.
"That's nice and everything that you two patched everything up, but the important question was what happened between you and Lucas?" Smackle asks very eagerly, and I can't help the smile that exudes from my lips.
As we get closer to my house, my heart start to speed up. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I see my house, the same one that is almost identical to his. The little blue house that was supposed to be ours. It comes into view, and I take a quick glance at him and he is already looking at me. I don't think he noticed it considering I feel his eyes on me.
"You know it impolite to stare," I try to hide my smile as I look back to the road.
"So, you remember how to talk," he laughs. "I wasn't sure since you haven't said a word in," he looks at his watch and I roll my eyes, "thirty-three minutes."
"You know you haven't said a word either."
"What am I supposed to say? I put my heart on the line and propose to you, and instead of giving me an answer you pulled me into the car. We've been driving longer than half an hour and you still have yet to give me an answer," I pull into the driveway and still he hasn't noticed.
I put the car in park and turn it off. I unhook my seatbelt and slowly reach for the door, "Riley, are you going to give me answer?" his voice almost sounds defeated.
"Just get out of the car, please."
He starts to shake his head as he undoes his seat belt. I reach his side of the car just as he was stepping out. This is the only way I can show him that I want us just as much as he does. My hand finds its way to his, and I see a smile play on his lips which makes one grow on mine.
He's manages to remain oblivious to the house behind him. His eyes are glued on me. I slowly start to walk out to the sidewalk, so he can clearly see my home.
"Why are you walking to street," he laughs, "shouldn't we be walking inside to what's going to be our home?" Our home? It makes my heart flutter.
"You haven't even seen it. You might not like it," I tease him.
"As long as you are living in it with me, I'll love it." He kisses my forehead and I can't help the blush that washes over my cheeks. He slowly turns to finally face the house and his eye widen and I let out a little laugh. "It's-it's our home, but how," he looks at me.
I laugh, "I searched high and low for this house. I wasn't going to settle for anything that didn't feel right. When the realtor showed me the picture of this house, my heart stopped. I knew this was going to be it. If I'm being honest, I wasn't ready to let go of the future I had imagined with you," he takes my hands in his and I stare at our interlocked fingers. "It's lonely living in a house that you pictured living in with the love of your life," I still don't look up. "I love you, Lucas." My gaze slowly starts to rise and lands on his eyes. His eyes are glossed over as are mine.
"Do you want to see the inside?" He nods.
I lead the way to the front door holding his hand right behind me. I reach for my keys, but I hear laughter coming inside. I make my way in and I see my parents and Auggie on the couches watching a movie.
Auggie is the first to see us, "Hey guys."
"Hey Auggie," my parents pull their attention away from the TV, "Hey Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews."
"Hello Lucas," my mom says rising from the couch and making her towards us with my dad on her heels.
"Hey Lucas. It's good to see you," my dad says as they shake hands.
I clear my throat, "I didn't think you guys were going to be here."
Lucas starts to laugh, "Neither did I, with stories I heard, I assumed you'd be with Shawn," he turns towards my dad.
"SHAWN! He's here?!" my dad shouts.
I shrug my shoulders, "Maya is getting married tomorrow here in Seattle, so yeah I guess he's here. Probably at the hotel."
My dad looks at my mom, "We have to go to the hotel!" I can't help the laugh that escapes. "Riley, may I please borrow your-" a car horn from outside interrupts him. I move to look at the window, and I see Shawn in a car with Katie.
I laugh, "Dad I think it's for you." I move away from the window and my dad rushes over.
"Shawnie!" He runs outs of the house, "Are you coming Topanga?" He shouts from outside.
"Coming," she shouts back. She looks at me, "I told Katie where we were. She needed some help with last minute details and didn't want to stress Maya out. It's okay if we go, right?" she shifts her gaze between Lucas and I.
I smile, "Of course mom." She grabs her purse and jacket and slips on her shoes.
"C'mon Auggie. You're coming with us."
"But I-"
I cut him off, "Please."
"Fine," he pulls himself off the couch and stomps off the couch. "Don't think too much, listen to your heart. He's your Ava," he tries to whisper so I just hear as he walks by me, but Lucas starts to laugh.
Lucas and I watch the door close, and turn our gazes back to each other. Lucas is the one to break the gaze, "So, this is where you've been living?" He looks at me and I nod. "Riley, why did you bring me here?"
I take a deep breath and start into the living room, "It's the only way I was able to show you that I want us. Me buying this house was kind of solidifying that." I sit down on the couch and he follows suit.
"Riley," I don't look up, but he lifts my chin with his fingers, "will you marry me?"
I shake my head and fill tears in my eyes, "I want to say yes Lucas. You have no idea how bad I want to, but-but," my voice starts to crack, "I can't." I swallow the sobs that want to surface, "I don't deserve you."
"Ye-"
I stop him, "I DON'T!" I shout. I rise from the couch, "How can I be with you and have a happy life when I can't forgive myself for doing what I did, and-and" I stutter, "prom night. I'd be lying if I didn't say it still didn't hurt. I know it happened a long time ago, but it's the last memory I had of you for years." Lucas stands up and takes me into his arms, "That night was the worst night of my life." He looks into my eyes, "I lost the one person I've ever loved. I didn't want that kiss to happen. That night was supposed to be a night to remember, and it was but for all the wrong reasons." He grabs my face, "Riley, believe me when I tell you I will never do anything to intentionally hurt you. That's the last thing I ever want to do. I love you with everything inside me."
I feel tears well up in my eyes, "I believe you," I mumble out. He starts to lean in and his lips barely brush against mine. It's just enough to make me crave more.
"I'm going to ask you again," he takes a deep breath, "Will you marry me?"
Again I start to shake my head, and his hands drop from my face, "I can't," tears start to fall, "I want to but I can't." I sniffle, "I need to forgive myself. I need to stop hating myself before I can say yes to that. If I don't, it'll destroy us," Lucas is the one shaking his head now. "Yes, it will. I'll start to push you away. I'll do something stupid to sabotages our relationship." I feel his hands against my cheek as he brushes away my tears.
"We deserve better than that. We deserve to have the happy ending." I say interlocking his hands in mine. "I just need time. I know it's selfis-"
"No," he interrupts me, "it's not selfish of you. I understand." He looks at my neck. "May I?" he says gesturing to the gold chain around my neck. I nod and he steps behind me to unhook it. I turn around to face him. "I still can't believe you still wear this. You started wearing in junior year because you thought it looked elegant."
I laugh through my tears, "Because it does!" I touch my neck, "I almost feel naked without it."
I watch as Lucas slides the ring onto the chain, and I slightly turn so he can put it around my neck. When he has it clamped, I turn back to him. I lift the ring, so I can see it. I look up at Lucas and he is smiling at me, "You said before you can say yes, meaning you are going to say yes one day. I want that ring to stay close to you until it finds its rightful place," he takes my left hand and brings it to his lips.
"I can't promise you that it'll be soon."
"But you'll marry me one day?"
I smile and start to nod and the corners of his mouth start to lift. "Yes," he doesn't hesitate to grab my face and press his lips against mine. I deepen the kiss. This is all I ever wanted. This is what I spent years dreaming of. I don't know when I'll be ready, but knowing he is here is what I need.
The rest of the evening we talk about everything. I tell him about my website. He wants to know everything, so I tell him. I tell him that I never finished college, and it surprises him. He couldn't believe that I didn't graduate. He asked if I ever plan on going back, and I tell him no. It isn't something I want.
We talk about my website more, and I finally tell him about Evan and I see concern wash over his face, but it disappears when I tell him Evan was the one who pushed me to chance happiness with him. He tells me about his plan to open his own practice eventually, but for now he is going to look for a clinic to practice in.
Throughout the evening we made our way to my bedroom. We are laying on the bed when he tells me he wants to know more about Hope, so I tell him more. We look through all the pictures I have of her on my phone, and the videos. It's an ongoing struggle to allow myself to be happy with Lucas as his eyes light up when he looks at the pictures and videos of our daughter.
Around seven, I notice he starts to doze off and I try to wiggle out of his hold. "We are you going?" he says groggy.
"I have to talk to Maya. I won't feel right standing next to her if everything isn't fixed between us," I sit up.
"This isn't just an excuse so you can disappear again for another five years."
I let out a little laugh, "No, I'm never going anywhere again."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"Well I'll be here when you get back. We have to talk about where I'm going to be living." I lean over to kiss his cheek.
I start to walk out the bedroom and turn around, "Lucas?"
"Mhmm,"he mumbles tiredly.
"I love you."
He smiles with his eyes closed, "I love you, too."
"So you guys are engaged?" Maya tone matches Smackle confused look.
"Not exactly. Someday, just not right now." I run my fingers across my neck until I touch the ring and smile.
A knock on the door startles all of us, and Smackle moves to answer it.
"Hello beloved,"Smackle says as Farkle emerges from the hallway.
"Hello my love," he leans down a bit as Smackle tippy toes a little to kiss him.
I smile, "You two are really going to wait another two years to get married?"
Smackle and Farkle look at each other and then back at me and Maya, "It's the plan, but I don't know maybe a sooner date will be more reasonable. I don't know if I can wait two year to become Mrs. Minkus. I love him too much."
"Awww!" Maya and I say in unisons.
"And I love you," Farkle kiss her forehead. He turns his attention to me, "So you and freak face?"
"One day. For now, we are just Riley and Lucas. He is going to move in with me." I smile.
"But yet you guys aren't engaged." Maya says.
"It's Riley and Lucas they've always done things their own way," Farkle laughs.
Smackle scoffs, "You two can be a real headache sometimes."
"Agreed," Maya and Farkle say at the same time and the four of us erupt in laughter.
We all turn our focus to the door when we all hear a knock. Farkle is the one to answer it. Shawn walks it and his eyes move to Maya.
"You look beautiful," he says with a smile.
"Thank you dad," Maya moves to him and Shawn embraces her into a tight hug.
"I'll never get tired of hearing that." Shawn lets go of her and turns towards me, "It's good to finally see you! You didn't say hi when you came down for your parents' anniversary party."
"I'm sorry," I move to hug him and he squeezes me tight.
"I missed you, kiddo."
"I missed you too Uncle Shawn."
"Now that everything is okay, does this mean that you'll be around more?" I nod. "Good because it was sometimes too gloomy without our ray of sunshine."
"Agreed!" Maya, Smackle and Farkle all say simultaneously.
I pull myself away from Uncle Shawn and blink back the tears that want to make an appearance. I brush my hand down my sleeveless short baby blue dress.
"Now, let's go get this beautiful bride married, shall we?" Shawn holds out his hand to Maya, and she takes it with a smile that consumes her whole face. We all start to file out the door to the ballroom where Maya is going to become Mrs. Babineaux.
The ceremony was beautiful. Zay's face as he watched Maya walking down the aisle is the way every girl wants to be looked at on her wedding day. I've never seen either one of them happier. They really do bring out the best in each other.
After the ceremony, we all move to the room directly across the hall where the reception is being held. White and different shades of blues are seen throughout the room.
I start to walk when I feel someone's arms wrapped around me from behind, and I instantly recognize the touch. "You look beautiful," Lucas' voice sends chills up my spine.
I laugh, "Of course you would think so. I'm wearing the only color that you ever wore through high school," I joke.
He shakes his head with a smile, "You always look beautiful." I softly peck his lips.
"For the first-time Mr. and Mrs. Babineaux," the DJ announces as Maya and Zay enter the room. They move to the dance floor and Falling Into You by Celine Dion starts to play, their song. Maya wasn't the biggest fan of her, but with a little help from Zay that changed.
Zay and Maya move in sync with the music as a whole. I watch as they stare into each other's eyes and their lips move. Pure joy radiates off them and happy tears start to form in my eyes.
"Please joy the bride and groom in their first dance."
Lucas takes a hold of my hand and leads me out to the dance floor. He wraps his arms around my waist and I wrap my arms around his neck. "I love you," he whispers in my ear and it makes me laugh.
"I love you." I turn my head towards Maya and Zay and smile. I feel his hand brush across my neck to the ring.
"That'll be us one day." I return my attention to him and lay my head on his shoulder, "You'll be Riley Friar."
I lift my head and look at him, "I wouldn't have it any other way." He leans in and kisses me. Every kiss feels like the first kiss, but better. I pull away slightly, "It's good to be back where I belong, here in your arms," I whisper and close the little gap between our lips. I feel him smile into our kiss and I do the same.
"Thank you for welcoming me back into your life."
"It's was a stupid thing to ever kick you out."
I look around the room and see the faces of people that I have avoided for years, and now that I let them all back in my life I don't feel emptiness that I've felt since Hope passed away. I look at Lucas and my eyes lock onto his and I know that this is exactly what I've been missing.
