Chapter Thirteen – Bogey


"Although the world is full of suffering,

It is full also of the overcoming of it."

-Helen Keller


Thump. Thump thump. Thump thump thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump thump. Thump. Thump thump.

They were still out there. The patients from the hospital. The dead, or undead. Walkers. Walkers sounded better. Everybody was dead. The army squadron in King County had been overrun, and they were all dead. Everybody, except me.

I was just stuck in an abandoned tank with walkers everywhere and I couldn't decide if this was the better fate. I'd already been in here two days, and I was already starting to lose my mind. The thumping hadn't stopped once. Not once. And it was driving me crazy.

Thump thump.

As soon as I had practically thrown myself into the tank, I had closed all the hatches and did an inventory of what I had in my backpack. A couple of energy bars, a half-empty magazine for my Glock and a half-filled canteen of water. That's all I had to survive on until the walkers decided I wasn't worth their trouble and moved on to find another source of food.

All I had to do was stay quiet and they'd leave, which meant quieting my breathing, stopping my hysterics and halting the nervous breakdown that I was currently on the cusp of. It just didn't make any sense to me.

How were they coming back? These people were dying and then returning to life, after being bitten by anybody infected.

How was that possible?

How were there undead people trying to punch their way through an armored tank to satisfy their unquenchable hunger by ripping into my flesh?

Thump. Thump.

I tried not to panic as the thumps continued. They couldn't break through the tank walls. They were just reanimated humans. A human can't punch through the reinforced metal of a tank, so an undead human certainly couldn't. I just had to wait it out a little bit more. They'd leave eventually. Preferably before I eat the last of my provisions and drink the last of my water.

Thump.

I fell asleep for a while. Had to. I needed to get out of the tank and I needed my strength if I had to battle the walkers to get away.

The thumping had stopped when I woke up. Completely stopped. I waited an hour for it to start up again, but it didn't. When I was sure that it was safe to open a hatch, I did. I peered out of the top hatch, only opening it enough to give me a clear view. I saw nothing, except the littering of permanently dead bodies and abandoned military vehicles.

Cautiously, I pushed the hatch open further and had to blink rapidly at the sudden harsh sunlight.

It was almost blinding.


The light that came from the now open shutters was almost blinding, my eyes having to blink rapidly until they were used to it. For a moment, we all stared at the open door, like we couldn't believe that it was open. That we had been saved.

Until we did. We rushed forward, Rick taking point, Shane and I covering the middle and Daryl protecting our flank with his crossbow.

"Hello?" Rick called out, as we all stepped inside, wary of the fact we couldn't see anybody around. After all, somebody had opened the door. So, where were they? "Hello?"

"Watch the doors. Watch for walkers." I ordered, gesturing for Glenn to turn around and aim his rifle at the door, while I covered Rick and Shane. Dale and T-Dog covered Glenn, but it all fell apart when they heard the cocking of another gun.

One that didn't belong to us.

A figure, clearly male, stepped into the shadows, armed with what looked like a high-powered rifle, and we all tightened our grips on our own guns, tense at the new arrival. I was more ill at ease with the fact I couldn't see him properly, so I couldn't read his body language, see if he was friend or foe.

"Anybody infected?"

"One of our group was. He didn't make it." I informed him, another wave of sadness hitting me as I thought about Jim, and how we left him behind. I know it was what he wanted, but I still feel guilty.

"Why are you here? What do you want?" The man questioned, stepping further out of the shadows, and I was grateful that I could see him better. He was a middle-aged man, possibly in his early forties, with short, light blonde hair, a slight paunch to his stomach and was standing at least at 6 foot 3 inches.

"A chance." Rick answered honestly, and I could almost sense the fear and hope, that was exuding from all of us, mingling together to become desperation. If he made us turn around and leave…I couldn't know what we'd do.

"That's asking an awful lot these days." The man replied, taking another couple steps forward, probably sensing that, despite our numbers, we wouldn't be a threat to him.

"We know." I stated, and we all waited with bated breath to see if he would give us that chance. The chance to live in a secure place without fear of walkers or early deaths. The chance to find a new home that was safe, where we could be happy.

I watched him scan the group, eyeing all of us individually, probably trying to see if we were lying about being infected or not, or if we would turn out to be a threat. Eventually, his eyes returned to Rick and I, and I tried to keep a stoic face, tried not to give him a pleading glance, but he must've remembered how desperate we sounded outside, because he nodded at us.

"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission." He said finally, and we breathed a sigh of relief.

"We can do that." Rick agreed, and the man lowered his rifle, and I felt more at ease, knowing that he was a blue, not a red.

"You got stuff to bring in, do it now. Once the door closes, it stays closed."

We nodded, turning around and Rick, Shane, Daryl, Glenn and I rushed out the door again, silently taking down a couple of walkers who got in our way, running to our separate cars. We grabbed bags for everybody, and I took my weapons bag along with my duffel.

His last statement hadn't hit me right. Once the door closes, it stays closed. What did that mean exactly? That if we wanted to, we couldn't leave once he closed that door? It made me wary enough to want the extra protection.

We raced back to the doors, T-Dog and Dale closing them behind us with the man locking the shutters down and cutting off the power to the entrance.

"Rick Grimes." Rick held out his hand, and I had a flash of déjà vu from when we met Glenn.

"Dr. Edwin Jenner."


Jenner led us to an elevator, explaining that all the habitable areas available where near the labs, and we all piled in. I wasn't comfortable with being underground, which is where these types of labs were located, with a stranger, especially my group being underground with a stranger, but I'd give Jenner the benefit of the doubt until we got more answers.

"Do doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Daryl questioned, and I half-smiled at him. Thank God for Daryl Dixon and his paranoia reminding us to be just a little bit on edge around the stranger.

"Well, there was plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself."

"Smart." I quipped, earning Jenner's attention and gaze. He nodded at me.

"But you all look harmless enough, Sergeant," Jenner cracked a smile, looking down at Carl who stood beside Lori and in front of me and Andrea. "Except you. I'll have to keep my eye on you."

Carl smiled and I nudged his shoulder with my elbow, smirking down at him.

It was only a few moments more, before the elevator came to a stop and Jenner led us down a rather clinical looking hallway. It was almost as white and pristine as a hospital ER, you know, before the apocalypse came and the hospitals were the first things to go.

"Are we underground?" Carol asked Jenner.

"You claustrophobic?" He retorted, and I glanced around Rick's shoulder to look at the mother of one, who looked a little nervous and uncomfortable.

"A little."

"Try not to think about it."

The hallway led into a dark, but quite large room and I squinted around to see what was inside it. From what I could see, there were desks littered in the center, but other than that, there didn't seem to be much in the room. Maybe this was the command post of the CDC, where the doctors would communicate with each other and discuss progress made in designing cures and other medical jargon.

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room," Jenner said aloud, and I gave him a worried look as he seemed to be talking to thin air, until the lights came on and realized that the building was controlled by some sort of computer based intelligence. He paused a moment, turning his head to glance at us. "Welcome to Zone Five."

"Where is everybody?" Rick questioned, we all followed him down towards the desks, which I could now see had small computers on them. "The other doctors? The staff?"

"I'm it," Jenner replied, and I saw the sadness in his eyes, which I'm sure reflected the disappointment in ours. One man wasn't what we came to the CDC to find. "It's just me here."

"What about the person you were speaking with? Vi?" Lori pressed, not wanting to believe that he was alone, that he was the only person we'd found here, like we all did.

"Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them welcome." Jenner instructed, and everybody looked at him skeptically, until an electronic voice spoke via the speakers.

"Hello, guests. Welcome."

"I'm all that's left. I'm sorry."

Everyone was stunned into silence at that news, and I could see that Jenner did feel bad about having to break that news to us, so I cleared my throat and tried to make him feel a little better.

"I think I'll withhold my forgiveness until after you've taken my blood." I joked, making Jenner chuckle and shake his head.

"This way."

Jenner took us to a smaller room, deeper within the underbelly of the CDC, where he began to draw our blood. I volunteered to go first, being used to mandatory bi-monthly drug and blood tests in the army. They had wanted to make sure that their soldiers were clean and healthy. After me, the kids went, and then the mothers and it went on, until we got to Andrea, who had taken to the chair after Amy had blood taken.

"What's the point?" She questioned, as Jenner pulled the blood. "If we were infected, we'd all be running a fever."

"I've already broken every rule in the book by letting you in here. Let me just at least be thorough." Jenner replied, pressing a cotton ball to her arm to stop the tiny bleed.

Andrea climbed out of the seat, Jacqui standing there waiting to have her own blood taken, when the blonde stumbled slightly, dizzy and a little weak. Amy immediately jumped to her sister's aid, both her and Jacqui taking some of Andrea's weight.

"You okay?" The doctor questioned, looking concerned.

"She hasn't eaten in days. None of us have." Jacqui explained, as she and Amy helped Andrea to her seat, before moving back towards Jenner, and sticking out her arm.

Jenner glanced around at us all, clearly tired and hungry, before he shook his head and repeated the same procedure again. The same amount of blood, just one vial, and then he was done and taking the blood to a cupboard for storage.

We all watched as he bustled around before he waved us to our feet, trudging along behind him, the feeling of exhaustion kicking in after our bloodletting, but no one spoke until he took us to what I gathered was the CDC's version of a mess hall, though on a smaller scale.

He began rifling through cupboards, pulling out food containers and gestured for us to sit around the large table, as he cooked. Carol, Lori, Jacqui and Amy immediately offered their assistance and when he waved them off, they only insisted more, moving towards the kitchen and cooking spaghetti and tomato sauce and warming biscuits and soup.

Soon a large variety of foods was crowding around the table, and bottles of wine and soda were brought out to be consumed, and everybody was praising Jenner as their lord and savior as we all sat around to eat. He had given us shelter and food and wine, a sense of security that we hadn't felt in a long time.

People were laughing. They were at ease. They felt safe. That was something that made it a lot easier for me to relax and be a little less guarded. My people were happy. Dale was even trying to convince Lori to let Carl have a glass of wine with his dinner, much to her amusement.

"You know, in Italy," He started, pouring Lori her own glass of wine and handing it to her. "Children have a little bit of wine with dinner. And in France!"

"Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then." Lori replied with a smile, putting her hand over the wine glass in front of him.

"What's it gonna hurt?" Rick questioned, and I shook my head at the dopey grin on his face from where I was sitting across the table from him. I'd purposefully taken this seat so he would have to sit with his family, knowing that with everything that had happened, he should be close to Carl, and maybe reconnect with Lori, or at the very least, learn how to be her friend. Carl will have to deal with a lot growing up in the apocalypse, but he didn't need to deal with divorce tension or whatever. "Come on. Come on!"

Lori grinned at Rick's enthusiasm before conceding to his wishes, taking her hand off the top of Carl's glass and waving at Dale, chuckles erupting around the table at Carl's excited expression. Dale poured a small amount, and handed it to the young boy.

"There you are, young lad."

We all quietened down, watching as Carl took a hesitant sip, before we erupted into laughter as his face screwed up and he let out a half-strangled laugh of disgust. Lori took the wine and poured it into her own glass, murmuring 'that's my boy' as she did so.

"Yuck. That tastes nasty." Carl moaned, shaking his head like a dog, as though it would get the taste out of his mouth.

"Stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane advised, a little smirk gracing his face. He'd been quiet this entire time, something very unlike him. Usually, if there was drinking and food and celebration, you would hear Shane drunkenly bellowing out Super Bowl statistics. I guess he felt the same as I did.

I was glad we had this protection, and that we had food and wine and all the added bonuses that came with the safety the CDC provided, but I was still unsure of this place. Why was he the last man standing? What had happened to everybody else?

"Not you, Glenn." Daryl said, walking around the table towards Shane and me, pouring some wine into our glasses for us. I nodded my thanks to him, and he nodded back, and I saw a real smile grace Daryl Dixon's face and I was glad that he was having a little fun too. Merle's disappearance was still weighing heavily on his mind, but he was loosening up with the alcohol that Jenner had provided.

"What?" Glenn questioned, lowering his own bottle of wine and staring, completely confused, at the redneck across from him.

"Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get." Daryl teased the Korean, and I wondered when they started to get along. Daryl had seemed almost as bad as his brother when it came to his dislike of other races, yet he seemed friendly enough to Glenn now. Maybe Glenn's kidnapping by the Vatos had bonded them or something. It was good that everybody was forming connections.

We all chuckled at their rapport, until a clinking of a fork against a glass caught our attention. I looked over at Rick, who had climbed to his feet, holding his wine in his hand.

"We haven't thanked our host properly." Rick started, before getting interrupted by T-Dog.

"He is more than just our host." T-Dog announced, and titters of agreement circled around the table. I glanced at Jenner, and he didn't seem all that affected by our gratefulness. He looked sad, really. It made me wonder what his story was even more.

"Booyah!" Daryl cheered, people echoing the sentiment around the table, even I repeated it, not tearing my eyes off Jenner.

"So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?" Shane questioned, and I winced at the timing, but was almost grateful that it was now out there on the table. "All the, uh, all the other doctors figuring out what happened. Where are they?"

"We're celebrating, Shane. No need to do this now." Rick chastised, and I shook my head, clearing my throat, my eyes staring at the white table.

"Shane's right, Rick. It's been bugging me too, and I've already ignored my gut once and we lost eleven-" I winced, as I forgot to account for Jim in the total. I swallowed past the lump in my throat, before I continued to talk, ignoring everybody's burning gazes. "Twelve people. I'm not ignoring my instincts again and I'd rather know what the deal is now so I can sleep without fear of being murdered in my sleep. No offense, Doc, but I don't know you or what kind of man you were or are and there's no way you should be the last. I don't know how many people worked here exactly, but it was at least a few hundred. Around a hundred scientists, a hundred or so technicians, and then the admin staff, the janitorial staff…why are you the last?"

"Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just…left. Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted." Jenner explained, a tired expression in his eyes as he held my gaze and I felt guilty for pushing him to answer, but I had already lost people, and I couldn't risk any more.

"Every last one?" Shane pressed, and I tore my eyes away from Jenner to give him a warning look.

"No. Many couldn't face walking out the door. They…opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time."

"You didn't leave. Why?" Andrea questioned, her and Amy sitting opposite me.

"I just kept working. Hoping…to do some good." Jenner replied, and I heard it, felt it, in his words. There was no cure here. He hadn't been able to find the solution. Andrea and I could both see it in his eyes; the defeat. The blonde and I exchanged a glance across the table, silently vowing not to bring it up until he did. If no one else had come to the same conclusion as we had, we didn't need to panic anybody.

"Dude, you are such a buzz-kill, man."

An awkward silence came over the group, and I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, taking a large gulp of wine, before clearing my throat.

"I don't know about you guys, but the one thing that could make this place perfect would be hot water. I'd kill for a hot shower." Chuckles moved around the table and I smiled as I was able to relieve some of the tension.


"Most of the facility is powered down, including housing," Jenner informed us, as he led us down yet another pristine white corridor, but this one looked more lived in with more homey lighting instead of the bright lights that led down to the labs. There were a lot of blue doors that opened into small office-esque rooms with large couches. "Make do here. The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like. There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy."

Jenner stopped, turning around to the two kids who followed closely behind him, with Glenn, T-Dog and I on their heels, and smiled at them, lowering himself down so his head was nearer to their eye level.

"Just don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power," He straightened up and looked back at us. "The same applies, if you shower, go easy on the hot water.

A murmur of excitement rippled through the group. Hot fucking water. I had only been half-joking about the hot water, because I knew that there was a slim chance of there being a pilot to generate the heaters to even make the damn water hot, but fuck there was hot water!

Glenn turned around in front of us, and grinned almost manically.

"Hot water?"

"That's what the man said." T-Dog grinned, before he and Glenn rushed off to claim their own offices/rooms.

I just jumped in to the one closest to me, closing the door behind me, before placing my stuff down by the couch. I was almost giddy as I took my shower stuff out of my duffel bag, my body practically humming out of joy at the certainty of a hot shower.

I rushed over to the small bathroom and closed the door behind me, eagerly shedding my clothes before I moved into the shower. I slowly turned the tap, closing my eyes as warm drops of pure heaven began to rain down on my body. Out of nowhere, I started laughing. It felt so good to be able to clean myself again, the hot water was the bonus.

I tried not to focus on the ground; the water turned a light pink color as all the blood I had missed when cleaning up after the walker attack ran down the drain, along with all the sweat, dirt and grime that had accumulated after cleaning up the camp, digging the graves, disposing of the dead and the journey to the CDC.

Being clean again felt good. Like alternate-reality-where-there's-no-such-thing-as-walkers good. I scrubbed myself with my shower gel, struggling to contain my glee at the smooth feeling of the rose-scented foam on my skin, until I felt all the built-up muck disappear. I tackled my hair next, trying to rid myself of the tangles and matted parts so it would be easier when I brushed it later.

Climbing out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around me, securing it so I had my hands free to dry my hair, and walked out in my room and had to hold in a scream. The euphoria that my shower had brought me had also numbed my senses, as I had not even heard someone enter the room. The thought that all it took for me to let my guard down was some wine and a hot shower was a scary one.

Rick just grinned from his place on the couch as I held one hand to my heart, the other held up my towel, and tried to calm my breathing.

"You didn't hog all the hot water, did you?" Rick questioned, and I threw the spare towel in my hand at him, glaring at the grinning idiot who had almost given me a heart attack as he caught it before it hit him in the face as I had intended.

"No, I didn't. What are you even doing in here?" I retorted, feeling my heart still racing. Although that could be because I was naked and in the same room as the love of my life, but, if anybody asked, I would never admit to that aloud.

"Roommates?"

I stared at him curiously. At the house in King County, it had been necessary for us to all sleep in the same room, for security and protection, and in the camp at the quarry, I'd put it down to awkwardness making Rick unable to share a tent with his estranged wife, but now? Why didn't he pick a room next to Lori's and Carl's and sleep there?

"I'd sleep better knowing you were right there." Rick added, when it became clear to him that I was confused as to his reasons for wanting to bunk together when there were plenty of spare offices for him to crash in.

He would sleep better if he knew I was there? My stomach did a flip that I tried my best to ignore, searching his face for any hidden motive, but couldn't find one. Rick had always been honest with me, so I don't know why I keep trying to find dishonesty in him.

I nodded, accepting his words, and faked a sigh.

"If you must. I mean, it's a complete imposition, but I think I'll survive it," I teased, and he rolled his eyes at me. "Go shower. You're stinking up the room."

"Yes, ma'am."

Rick stood up and saluted me, before heading into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I rushed to get dressed before he came out, pulling on underwear and my pajamas as quickly as possible. It reminded me of my cadet days in the army when I'd been fooling around with another cadet and we'd almost been caught by our drill sergeant. We'd both rushed to pull our clothes back on, and make ourselves look slightly less disheveled before he'd walked in to the barracks. That was a good time.

I yanked on my clean white sleep shirt and the pair of red plaid sleep shorts I loved, before pulling on my boots, slipping a knife into each and tucking one of my Glocks into the waistband of my shorts, hiding it under my shirt. I was going to do a brief walk around, check in on everybody, before heading to bed.

The high I was feeling from my shower was wearing off, and my doubts about this place and Jenner were coming back to me. It felt almost too good to be true that this place was completely secure and safe, which usually meant it wasn't.

Ignoring the fact my hair was still dripping down my back, I left the room, silently closing the door behind me, before knocking on doors to check on everybody. Some of them, namely Shane, T-Dog and Glenn, had rolled their eyes at me, while most of the others just reassured me they were fine. All I received from Daryl was a happy grunt, before he went back to drinking in his room.

When I had checked in with everyone, even Carol and the kids in the rec room, I went back to my room, only to get yanked into Amy and Andrea's room by the two blondes. I laughed as Andrea closed the door behind me, and Amy pulled me further into the room until we were all sitting on the two cots they had pushed together.

"Is there something you guys wanted or did you just feel like kidnapping me?" I questioned with a smile and an arched brow, waiting patiently for an explanation.

"We thought we'd get drunk and share stories. Like pre-outbreak stories. We want to know you better," Amy smiled, and I debated telling them that I was tired so I didn't have to share my somewhat pathetic life story, but I found myself nodding and agreeing. "Great! Well, we have wine, wine or whiskey."

"I'll take the whiskey. My daddy always drank whiskey. Called it the drink of the strong-willed, because only the strong-willed would be able to stand the burn on the way down," I chuckled, taking the bottle from Amy, and whistling appreciatively as I read the bottle. "The Macallan Sherry Oak 25-year. These egg-heads got the good stuff."

I opened it and that smoky, earthy scent hit me instantly, reminding me of my father even more. A bottle of a good scotch and a cigar in his den after a football game had gone sour. My mother had always hated him smoking and drinking. She thought that the only time it was acceptable to drink was at Sunday Mass, something she rarely attended as she was more a New Age hippie than the devout Catholic her parents had raised her to be, and smoking was a filthy habit she could never break my father of.

I slowly lifted the bottle to my lips, already anticipating the burn, before I tipped it back, swallowing the fiery liquid, and letting out a satisfied hiss of approval. Amy had been watching me, probably wondering why I was taking my time with it, and she giggled when I hummed in appreciation.

"Wanna get a private room with that bottle?"

"I think this is the kind of scotch that could show a girl a good time." I joked back, laughing with the two blondes.

I had always wanted a sister, especially after my brother died, and I was a little bit jealous of the relationship that Amy and Andrea had. Jackson and I had been that close once. He was nearly ten years older than me, but he always visited, always, until he decided to join the army and was sent overseas.

And then he died. So, I made do with Shane. He was a good surrogate brother. My feelings for Rick went far beyond brotherly love so I could never have seen him that way, but Shane did his best and I was always grateful for that.

Putting those thoughts aside, the Harrison sisters and I talked about anything and everything. My life as the only female Ranger in the US Army, Andrea's previous job as a civil rights lawyer, Amy's studies at college. She went to the University of Georgia and had been studying English Literature before the outbreak.

We joked about past boyfriends and sexual dalliances, we howled with laughter at funny stories I told about Rick and Shane and me growing up in King County, and it felt almost normal. Like a group of girlfriends meeting up on a Friday night for girl talk and drinks.

Although, I kind of ended up ruining it when I pulled the gun from the waistband of my pajama shorts because it was starting to get uncomfortable. We all kind of sobered up at the symbol of the apocalypse we were currently living through.

"You don't feel safe here, do you?" Andrea questioned, her eyes on the grey gunmetal before turning those piercing blue orbs onto me.

"It's not that…" I sighed, and dragged my hand through my hair before I found the right words to express why I still felt the need to be armed. "Back at the quarry…I let my guard down and because of that Amy almost died and eleven…twelve people did. I don't want to risk that happening again."

"And something about Jenner is setting off your gut feeling." Andrea stated, rather than questioned, and I reluctantly nodded.

"It's not that I don't think he's a good guy. I don't think he's going to murder us in our sleep. I just get the feeling that he's holding something back, and that we might not like it."

"Well, I know that I'm happier knowing that you're still prepared for whatever comes our way, and that you're just opposite us," Amy smiled warmly, and, since we had barely known each other for more than three or four days, I was surprised to see the complete trust she had in me, displayed openly on her face. It felt good. Having someone's utter faith in you was both terrifying and wonderful. "I'll sleep better knowing that you have our best interests at heart."

"I do. And so does Rick…he just has more faith in strangers than I do. Always has. He's the optimist, Shane's the pessimist and I'm the realist. That's how we've always functioned." I smiled tightly. Sometimes it was hard to think about the great friendships we all had as kids, and how messed up things between us all was now. I was in love with Rick, who had married Lori and broke my heart in the process and Shane was in love with Lori, who had slept with him after finding out that her ex-husband, his best friend, had died and she needed comforting and she had fallen in love with him as well, I think. It was a complicated mess.

"So Rick's the heart, Shane's the spine and you're the soul." Amy surmised, and my smile turned a little more genuine.

"You could look at it that way, I guess."

"Speaking of Rick…what is going on with you two?" Andrea questioned, and now I felt like it had turned into a girl's night. The boy talk had officially started.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I feigned innocence, shrugging my shoulders and taking another gulp of whiskey, feeling that tell-tale buzzing feeling in my head that told me I should probably stop drinking if I didn't want a hangover in the morning.

"Yeah, you do. Don't deny it! When you're not giving him that sad, 'I'm madly in love with you' puppy dog look when he's not looking, he's giving you the same." Amy stated, and I blinked at her rapidly. I had not known that I gave Rick a look of that description, nor had I noticed that he gave me the same. He wasn't in love with me…was he? No, he wasn't. Was he, though?

"Yeah, and he said that things between you were 'complicated'," Andrea quoted, even going so far as to use air quotes, and I stared at her, remembering the same thing. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know. What does that mean?" I questioned, my eyebrows furrowing as I thought it through.

"You should ask him!" Amy exclaimed, and I rolled my eyes, taking another swig of whiskey, shaking my head.

"No, that would make things weird. Not just with me and Rick…but with Lori as well. She was my only girlfriend before you guys…I don't wanna ruin that." I was starting to slur, so I put my bottle down, screwing the lid onto it so it wouldn't spill.

"But you need answers, and more importantly, we need answers!" Amy retorted, and I laughed with them.

"She's right though, T. You need answers and when you get them, you have to share them with us." Andrea added, and I nodded, pointing at her, grabbed my gun and climbed off the make-shift double bed, nearly tumbling head-first into the couch until I managed to steady myself.

I glared at the bottle of whiskey, realizing that it was three quarters empty and that I was far drunker than I had originally thought.

"You're right. Thirty something years is too long to be in love with someone without knowing if they feel the same. I've been a coward for far too long, and I will ask him what he meant…after I sleep this alcohol off so I know it's a sober decision," I concluded, nodding my head at my own words before walking to the door. "Goodnight, ladies!"

"Night!" They chorused back to me, as I closed their door behind me, before stumbling across the hall to my own room.

Rick had made a bed up for the both of us on the floor, probably realizing that I wouldn't be able to sleep on a bed after two months of hunkering down on the ground, and I smiled at it. I nudged my boots off, before collapsing onto my knees and tucking my Glock underneath my pillow. I wriggled around until I was cocooned underneath the covers, warm and comfortable.

Just when I had started to drift off to sleep, I heard the door creak open. My hand shifted underneath my pillow and gripped my gun, but I forced my eyes to open and focus before I shot the perpetrator. Luckily, it was just Rick trying to sneak in, just as drunk as I was.

He smiled at me as he tried to quietly close the door behind him, and toe off his own shoes. I giggled when he practically body slammed the floor as he dropped down onto the blanket bed, smiling when he shifted until he was right behind me and pulled me into the circle of his arms.

"We're safe now, T. We don't have to be afraid anymore." He whispered, and I twisted my head to consider his eyes, which were just as bleary as mine from drink.

"Hey, Rick?" Rick hummed into my hair as a reply, pushing his nose into the hectic waves that I could barely keep tamed and breathing in the scent of my shampoo. "Back in the department store, what you said to Andrea, that we're complicated…what does that mean?"

Despite deciding this topic would be best left sober, apparently drunk-Thea liked to contradict herself. I held my breath as I waited for his answer. He seemed to pause for a couple seconds that felt like a couple eternities, before he finally spoke.

"Means that I've been halfway in love with you my whole life, and still am, but you never seemed interested. In high school, Shane kept telling me to just ask you out, but I didn't want to lose you, so I never did."

In my drunken haze, his words having made my whole body feel like it was on fire, I turned in his arms so I was facing him and pressed my lips to his gently before taking them away.

"You should have." I whispered, hugging him close to me, my fingers running up and down his back, our bodies completely flush against each other. Alcohol sure was making me brave.

"Should have what?" Rick said, as he leaned his head closer towards mine, trying to reclaim my lips, but I kept them just out of reach.

"Asked me out."

Something flashed in Rick's eyes, and he nudged me until I laid on my back with him hovering over me. His mouth claimed mine, and I moaned at the contact, especially as his tongue pushed past my lips and dabbed my own. Our tongues fought for dominance, the kiss only getting more and more heated, hands starting to wander. It was hot, and more than I expected our first kiss in about eighteen years to be. It was passionate and heavy and loaded with all sorts of unanswered questions, but it was amazing.

But, probably because we were both drunk and not in the right mind, it didn't feel right.

Rick suddenly pulled back, the both of us panting heavily. He stared into my eyes for a long, drawn out moment then pressed his lips to my forehead, before moving off me and maneuvering us back into our original position; both of us on our sides, with him curled around me, my back to his chest. It was probably for the best. We were both drunk, and going further than just drunkenly making out would make it a lot harder to move past when we were both sober and in the right mind.

Because I knew in the morning that I'd have to pull back from him slightly. I loved Rick, so much that it was ridiculous, but he needed his family. He needed Lori and Carl, and I still wasn't convinced that things between the married couple were completely over. I didn't want to get in between them. I wasn't that kind of woman.

So, when the morning came, I'd pretend that nothing happened.


A/N:

What's this? Two updates in two days? Wha-? Your eyes do not deceive you, my loves! Because of something wonderful that is happening, I decided to give you a second chapter for this week!

Basically guys, I have had enough of working jobs that make me miserable when all I want to do is write, which makes me happy, so I've launched a page. If you haven't heard of , it is basically a site where artists/authors/musicians/people with a business idea can have their fans pledge donations each month and in return they get access to rewards and lots of fun stuff. For example, if you pledge $1/month, you get access to all the exclusive content I'll post for my patrons, but if you pledge $10/month, you get your name credited in my book once it gets published :D If any of you guys want to support a struggling author trying to live her dream, then type www. salstratton (without the spaces) and make a donation! Writing my own stories, not just fan fiction, is all I've ever wanted to do and it would be so perfect if you guys would join in this journey with me.

Oh, and I created a Facebook page! Its under the name of SAL Stratton, so go check it out and give it a like because I will be posting snippets of my novel, and my fan fictions, and random thoughts that pop into my head. You can talk to me there, or click the 'contact us' button, which will take you to my new tumblr sideblog, where you can send me writing prompts, or any things you'd like for me to incorporate into my fan fictions, or what you think of Exit Wounds so far and Thea and Rick (Rhea? Thick?). I would love to talk to you guys more!

Now, to the lovely reviewers from last chapter and the chapter before, you guys are awesome! Thank you for the love;

yggdrasil001, AmethystSiri, Guest (1), Guest (2), PsychoBeachGirl88, Lesly2626, universe without a soul, emberlies and Morrowsong.

Now, I don't know when the next new chapter will be up, because I am taking part in NaNoWriMo and I'm determined to actually finish it this year. So, my main focus is on my novel right now, but I promise I will not make you wait nearly ten months for the next chapter :P

I love you guys so much!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, with all the Thea, Amy and Andrea bonding, and the Thea and Rick action, and let me tell you that the next chapter is just as interesting in terms of the shifting dynamics between our favorite blind idiots :D

Till next time, guys!


S.A.L. Stratton