The third day


-Callum, D1M-

The alliance is stable.

Never thought I'd say it, but the alliance is stable.

Iridesce took the lead, and we've all been following her. She's a strong leader, but not cruel. She's a hunter, offensive, but swift. She's not inhumane, just logical. We do have to kill to survive, as much as the rest of us try to avoid it.

I killed, I took a life.

My hands are bloody, dirty now.

It's a realization, a feeling, a fact that lingers. It never goes away. No matter what, I can't unkill Billie. I can't bring her back. No matter how hard I repent, ask for forgiveness of her loved ones, beg on my knees, wallow in guilt and pain and darkness, I can't do a single thing about it.

Speaking of darkness… Someone died last night. The cannon just about scared the shit out of me. I wonder who it is. Maybe one of the young ones, or the ones that went alone. The voices of the night only make the darkness darker, the guilt a more shocking crimson. Having two tributes awake at all times is definitely the best way to go. I live for the few moments of relief when I can have the night vision goggles and see around me in the pitch blackness.

The nights are full of chilling breezes and the voices of ghosts. It's nice to have someone else there, someone alive and warm, that you can reach out and touch if need be. It's reassuring to be sitting next to someone else who is awake and breathing.

I guess we'll have to wait until tonight to see who died last night, or maybe we'll figure it out some other way. The sky starts to lighten, slowly and ever so slightly, but it lights up. Iridesce wakes the others as I get some food out of my backpack for breakfast. The others talk quietly, all of them rubbing their eyes and yawning, even Iridesce, who was on watch with me.

"So, I was thinking that today, we climb that roller coaster and get a full view of the Arena," Iridesce says, pointing up to the tallest hill. "We found a way in yesterday, but today, we should take the time to go all the way up."

"Sure," I say. In all honesty, I'd like to prevent from taking lives if I can.

If there were stronger Careers, or even just more in number, I would offer to stay behind and watch our supplies at the Cornucopia as opposed to actually going out on the hunt. I prefer to be more defensive in nature, not fighting.

I know that this is the Games and I can't afford to be pacifistic now of all times, though, and since our alliance only has four, one of who is from District 7 and hasn't had the kind of training we have, one of which is 16 and not as serious as many, and one being an Academy dropout, we all have to pull our weight to show we belong and to survive. Which means that, if Iridesce would rather climb a roller coaster than go on the hunt, I'm all for it.

Confrontation freaks me out, though. I don't want to kill, especially not when the only weapon I can use is so violent in nature. I still haven't forgotten about the sight of Billie's head being destroyed by my morningstar, blood and brains spilling out.

No, Callum. I take a deep breath, trying to remove myself from the anxiety and control my thoughts to return my heart rate back to normal.

We hear a beeping noise just then, though, as a parachute floats down towards us. We exchange looks among us, and I know that at least one of us have proven ourselves enough to win gifts, and more importantly, support from the Capitol. I can only hope that lucky tribute is me.

Iridesce takes the parachute, taking the pair of night vision goggles and putting them on, looking into the pot of the parachute, that glows to give us a view of where it is in the dim darkness of the Arena.

"Riella," Iridesce says, taking a knife and a note out of the parachute and handing it to her. "It's yours."

"Oh. Thanks." The girl from District 7 seems surprised as she takes the knife from the parachute and puts it in a belt around her waist. Now she has two weapons. If she has to leave the bulky, heavy axe she carries behind, she'll have a plan B. I wonder what the note says, but I can't see it from where I am.

I sigh, my heart sinking. I've been so focused on trying to prove myself to sponsors, to friends and family, to Gravity. I've been trying to convince them that I do belong here, that I do have a shot. That I'm not just a flunkie, not average. I want them to see me and admire me, not scorn me. I know that volunteering may not have been my smartest decision, but I show everyone that can't change it and now that I'm here I can't die and bring dishonor to my name. To my District. To my family.

I'm desperately trying to prove myself. I want them to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself. And, because of that, there's no way in hell I'm going to give up. If anything, I have to fight harder. I know that I'm going to have to take more lives if I want to earn the favor of the crowds.

And I don't know if I'll ever be able to do anything to make Gravity think that I should be here instead of him. He put in the work, he put in everything. But just because I didn't train in the District doesn't mean that I have no shot. After all, I'm still here. I still have allies, and I'm still going to be at an advantage.

"Up we go," Iridesce says, starting to climb. My District partner is fit and climbs fast, even though the first hill is somewhat steep. I follow second, keeping pace with her so I don't fall behind. Maggie and Riella are behind me, talking quietly amongst themselves. They've done that a lot lately.

I think they might be trying to forge a bond because Iridesce and I are from the same District. The truth is that there's still a lot of tension between us, because I flunked out of the Academy and she's trained so hard for this. Iridesce is offensive and I'm more defensive. If Maggie and Riella leave, I don't think we'd last together very long.

Iridesce thinks of me as the most expendable person of the alliance. She's horribly prejudiced against me, as many District 1 citizens are, because I didn't train. I've been looked down upon when I say that I wasn't training. People assumed it was because I was inept, unable to train, weak. If they knew anything about my life, maybe they'd see why it was never a top priority for me. If only.

Iridesce gives the Arena a quick scan from the first hill, then continues to crawl, up the next hill. This one is taller than the first, and just as steep. I give Iridesce a slight head start so that I don't run into her, then go next. Just as I'm starting to climb, Maggie surfaces over the first hill, Riella appearing soon after.

The second hill is harder to climb as my body starts to react to the effort, heart starting to beat faster, breath coming heavier. We reach the top of the hill without too much effort. Going down this one is harder, because it's tall enough that I have to control my fall so I don't go down too hard. Sometimes, holding myself back is harder than pulling myself up.

Iridesce starts up the third hill, which is the tallest of all, and also the steepest. I start up after her, feeling really claustrophobic and wobbling. I startle as the boards creak as I'm climbing them. I feel like they're going to break any second. I keep on climbing, though, board by board, heaving my weight up. Some sweat starts to form just as we reach the top.

It's so high up my head starts to swim being all the way at the top. The tracks are thick, but not comfortably so. It still feels like if a sudden burst of wind came, I could be sent plummeting to my death.

"Wow," Iridesce says.

I get what she means. The view is really amazing from here.

"Wow indeed."

The other two come up a little while afterward. Iridesce looks out around the Arena, the sky brightening ever so slightly more with each minute. We can't see much, just the dark silhouette of the ferris wheel in the distance, but we see just how expansive the Arena truly is. I look for tributes, and see some figures in the distance.

"I don't see many trees," Iridesce observes, "And I haven't seen many animals to hunt. I wonder how the others are going to get by."

"Hm." She's keen. Then again, she's been told exactly what to look for, so why wouldn't she be?

Maggie and Riella are silent, just like me. We don't talk for a while, just standing up there and drinking in the view. My heart pounds hard at the prospect of being up so high, but soon Iridesce starts to climb down, the rest of us following.

I wonder what Armory and Niss are doing right now. I wonder how my grandparents are feeling. Those four are the only people I really care about nowadays. I think about them, picturing each of their faces as vividly as I can in my head as I'm climbing down, plank by plank. I'm relieved when we can climb off the roller coaster and my feet are on solid ground.

After that, we collect our stuff, and get out some lunch that we can eat as we walk. Iridesce takes the lead, spear at the ready, and the rest of us follow her without a word.

~.~.

-Leo, D12M-

Cory and I have been cooperating. I can't say I understand the girl, why she gave up a gift that she's so lucky to have, why she would choose this life for herself. But that doesn't mean I can't respect her. We can cooperate. After all, I'm injured, and that first-aid kit was for her. It was in my best interest to get the help that I can. I can cooperate.

At the same time, though, Cory and I have been forced to get kind of close. I can't always see her motions, so to let me know she's close she's taken to holding my hand or my arm.

Even though Cory's eyes are dark and his are light green, the looks that she gives me remind me of my little brother Albus. It seems like just yesterday that I was holding him in my arms, trying to calm his fear for his first reaping. I tried my best to reassure him. I'd do anything for him. Yeah, maybe he has Dereck, my other brother at 14, but he needs me. Dereck is too abrasive for him sometimes. They both need me back there to work for food. And if I win, they'll never have to go hungry again.

I have to separate Cory from my brothers. She's helpless, I know she's helpless, but if I Want to get back to where I belong, I have to keep my guard up. She has to die if I want to live.

And yet, I've got a sort of soft spot for her. Even if I was born mute and she chose it, I still understand her. I understand what she's gone through. I understand what it's like to be taunted and bullied because I don't talk. I know what it's like for people to treat me like I'm stupid, like I'm something sub-human. I know what it's like to be driven into a corner, hopeless, helpless, nobody understanding the battles I'm fighting, completely and utterly alone. I know what she's suffering. I've been through exactly what she has.

The way that they laughed at her, at interviews, was something I've lived before. I've burned in that hell before. I've suffered. I've been walked on before because I don't talk. My brother Dereck exploited it every day of my life. And now, I've found someone that understands my pain. Someone that's lived through the very same pain I have. Being with her, with someone that understands what I've been through, someone I understand… I feel like there's another bond there, tying us together.

I find that I like walking with Cory holding onto me. Even when I can see her, it's reassuring to see that she's still around, still here. She's still got my back, and I've got hers. We're officially allies.

Sure, we don't have weapons. We don't have food and water. We're looking for food and water still, but I found a rusty metal plank that we could use as a weapon while we wait for a better one to come. I feel sluggish and slow from not having eating, the ache in my stomach becoming constant, my mouth dry, but I can't say I'm not used to that sensation. After all, times are tough.

Cory, however, isn't taking it nearly as well. She is slow, leaning against me as we go, taking breaks more often. I know that we have to find supplies for her.

We walk, taking breaks frequently. Every once in a while she'll stop and lay her head against my shoulder, her eyes hollow and miserable with hunger. I know it only gets worse as time goes.

That afternoon, just as my stomach begs and pleads me for lunch, we hear voices. Cory freezes and I look up as I see the silhouettes of what has to be the Careers.

"Let's go," I say, taking Cory's hand and squeeze it. She squeezes back, and I start moving faster.

I hear footsteps coming closer, though, and faster. Of course the well fed, well cared-for, fit Careers would easily gain up on us. I realize that we're going to have to fight. I let go of Cory's hand and step in front of her, raising the weapon.

Callum swings at me with his morning star, and I counter it with the metal bar. I know that four of them are going to outmatch us, so I start moving backwards, trying to get an opportunity to run.

"Go," I imagine typing the words and they speak to Cory. "Just go."

She doesn't move, and I shove her the other way with another, "Go!"

Cory's eyes are wide, and sparkle with fear, but she turns around and starts away. Meanwhile, I hit Callum over the head with the bar, sending him reeling to the back of the pack. Then, I turn around to make my getaway. I can't see Cory anymore, I have no idea where she's gone, but that means she got away, so at least I didn't die for nothing.

No. I'm not going to die. I start to follow her, turning and running away as fast as I can. I almost think I got away until I feel a pain explode through my back and through my stomach, causing me to lose my footing and violently hit the ground. I hear the voices coming closer, saying, "He's dead, get the 5 girl."

Iridesce's foot steps on my back and she violently rips the spear out of my stomach, driving a groan of misery out of my throat, vocal chords just barely vibrating naturally. Then, I watch the Careers start forward after Cory.

I stare up at the dark sky, my head swimming, trying to figure out where I am and what's going on. The wound seeps hot, sticky blood that spreads out across my stomach and abdomen. I try to sit up, but the world swims and I can't have the energy to stay that way, my back hitting the ground again. I can feel myself losing consciousness, and realize that I'm just about dead. Just like that.

I focus on breathing, on making my chest go up and down, staying with it. I try to cling to what I have here, Albus and Dereck, and Zack. I focus on my family, my friends, trying to stay with it. Trying to find something to anchor me down to earth.

Suddenly, I feel warmth as Cory takes my hand. She must have hidden, and come back out to find me after Iridesce struck me.

I blink my eyes, and I see her face, feel the tickle of her hair over me. Her dark eyes are full of words that she can never say. Tears roll down her cheeks and she shakes her head slightly, reaching up to her mouth and dropping her hand to sign me that she's sorry.

I close my eyes, trying to bring up the keyboard. It flickers, but I type out, "It's fine." The voice says it, cracking and flickering out. I try to bring the keyboard back to apologize to my family, my friends, I let them down… But it doesn't appear.

Breathing becomes harder. My head swims, nothing stays still. I soon lose sight of Cory, and all I see is darkness all around me. I let them down. I let them all down.

Cory squeezes my hand again.

I didn't die for nothing, though. I gave her a chance. A chance to show that you can do anything, even if you don't talk. A chance to get back to where she belongs, a chance to prove that we are just as capable, intelligent, and human as anyone else. Even if she chose this, she's dedicated to it. She respects it. She doesn't think of it as a joke.

I take a last shuddering breath.

I gave her another chance.

And now, It's up to her to use it.

The world turns into a flash of white.

~.~.


The third night


-Hamilton, D5M-

Cyra and I haven't really moved from where we were situated in the tents of games. Nobody's bothered us, all we've done is sat and recovered.

We've both recovered. Emotionally, and physically.

She bandaged up my injury from the bloodbath, cared for it with a gentle hand, constantly asking permission to slide my shirt up, to wrap it, to dab at it. We have some simple food that we got from a sponsor, and clean bandages that aren't bloody. The wound still hurts like sin, and it doesn't look pretty, but it's clean and bandaged, and it's stopped bleeding. I'm not out of the race yet.

We've needed more time to recover emotionally. Losing Ductor on the first day still haunts me. I wish we could have helped him. I wish we had been smarter, not gone, not risked it. I wish we would've put more trust in the sponsors. This stupid backpack isn't worth the life that was lost. He had family and friends back home. He had people that loved him, and we loved him too. Obviously not even as close to as much as they did, but still. He made me smile. He was a nice guy. He was my age. He didn't deserve it.

I still can't forget the look of shock on his face as he crumpled forward.

Cyra took it harder than me. I've awakened when she was on watch to her sobbing, curled up in a little ball. I know that it must be devastating to her. She lost him, he was from her home.

Cory's still alive, out there somewhere. If I had to watch her die, I'd be devastated too. She's pulled me out of at least two panic attacks since we got her. She knew exactly what to do for me. She understood me. She helped coach me. I owe her, and I never got to repay her at all. I hope that, if she goes, she goes as painlessly as possible.

The Capitol anthem plays to announce the coming of night, another night, another miserable night. We have food, though it's running out, but we haven't found any sources of water yet. My mouth is dry, my eyes are dry, and I know that we need to find some water tomorrow for sure. I know that I'm going to have to get up and walk on my injury. It's going to be direly necessary.

Karima's face is the first to appear in the sky, and after hers, Leo from 12. Then, it fades away. Two more deaths. I'm two steps closer to winning, making it back home, and finally stepping out of my brother Jackson's shadow.

But first, there's a lot more misery to go.

"Do you want to go on guard first?" Cyra's gotten quieter since losing Ductor. She's gotten more watered down. Not smiled at all. Not even tried to be happy. I can't blame her, really, all I feel is miserable too.

"Yeah, sure." I rub my eyes, preparing to stay awake. Cyra gives me a last look, her eyes swimming with pity and sadness and guilt, before she lays down.

The night gets dark, fast. I'm used to it, though. I stroke Cyra's hair gently as she sleeps, just as I had done the night before. It really helps to calm me down.

Just then, I hear a noise. A noise that echoes slightly. I'm not sure if it's real or in my head. It's a bird chirping. Singing.

I look around, trying to find the source of the sound, but in the darkness, I see nothing.

Just then I hear a voice. The voice of a girl. I recognize that voice.

"Pretty bird! Pretty pretty bird!" the bird keeps on singing, and the voice doesn't stop. "What a pretty bird! Pretty pretty bird!" it has almost a sing-song quality to it.

I swallow hard. "C-Cyra?" I ask quietly.

"Pretty bird!" the voice echoes with a giggle.

"Dance with me!" another voice says.

"Pretty bird!"

"Dance with me!"

"Pretty pretty bird!"

The bird sings louder. The girls go into giggles. I clutch my temples, trying to make it stop, make it go away!

"Stop…" I mutter. "Cyra…" I shake her, desperate for my ally to wake up.

"Pretty bird!" the voice trills. "Pretty pretty!"

"Stop…" I mutter, beg. This has to stop before I panic. I shiver as I feel a chill running down my spine, without any wind. I can't panic now. I can't.

Cyra shifts, and she sits up. "Hamilton?" she asks, voice groggy. Hearing her voice, her real voice talking to me, helps immensely.

"I'm sorry for waking you…" I say quietly. We drift into silence. I hear it again, the bird singing quietly, hidden in the back of my mind.

"Wh-What is that?" Cyra asks quietly, sounding more awake.

"I don't know. It sounds like…"

"Dance with me!"

"Pretty pretty!"

The bird sings.

I put my hands over my ears, begging for it to stop. It seems that putting my hands over my ears only muffles it a little bit, though, not as much as it should. It's hard to tell whether the voices are in my head or in reality. If I hear that voice say pretty bird one more time…

The bird keeps singing. I realize it's going to be a sleepless night.

"Let's just… Both stay up. Just for a while, until it stops," Cyra says. That sounds like a fine idea to me.

"I hope it stops," I say quietly.

"It will. Give it time to fizzle out."

"Dance with me! Dance with us!"

"Pretty bird! Pretty!"

"Talk to me!" I beg Cyra. "Please. Don't let me panic. Please."

I can't see her at all, but I know she's there. She has to be there.

"Alright," she says. "I'll tell you some stories that we told to my little nephew. It'll pass the time."

"Can I lay in your lap?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah, sure." I shift, laying down. I feel her hand gently touch the top of my head, and when I don't bat it away, start stroking my hair.

"Here, let's start with the Three Little Pigs."

I close my eyes, trying to focus on the calm, reality of her voice instead of the giggles and that stupid damn bird.

~.~.

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, I was out of the country for a week. Luckily, though, I came back with a lot of inspiration and I don't go up to school until the 25th! So I'm gonna go as far as possible on this story before then. I started making a skeleton for death order and causes of death based on preferred deaths, but the sponsoring could easily change that so keep it coming!

I posted some stuff on the Silhouettes blog about Arena mapping via Roller Coaster Tycoon and such. And I'm about to post a video there because I'm making someone say "I've got dibs on Raoul" some time or another! So that'll be explained later.

I REMEMBER WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY FOR THE PAST TWO CHAPTERS: I have a question for you: would you guys like to see an 84 Afterlife!AU on the blog? Basically it's just a mini story about all the tributes waking up as angels in heaven and getting used to the afterlife. I did it for my 36th Games story so I was wondering if read it for this one.

Thanks a bunch to W.R. Winters for Leo! I hope you liked how I played him!

I think that's all for now! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always reviews telling me what you think are highly appreciated!

Chapter Question: Were you surprised by Leo's death? Who do you hope will be next, and who do you predict will be next?

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