Once you have decided to change things, that is when the difficulties arrive. When you realize that you are simply not enough, and yet proceed anyways, that is when true character begins to be built. But that is also only the beginning.
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Chapter 15: An Unwelcome Farewell {Frisk}
Of course, Frisk didn't have the slightest clue how she was supposed to be doing that. She was just an ordinary human in the Underworld now, nothing more. During her runs, she had been special. Her power had come from her ability to try anything and everything, and if something went wrong, she could always go back. It was how she had come so close to freeing everyone before. Ironically, it was also how she'd managed to kill everyone.
She clutched at her chest, remembering the pain. Sans had killed her so many times she'd lost count, again and again. Bones shattering her heart, her chest, her head. Crushing her ribs. Any kind of bodily pain a bone could inflict upon a person she had endured. Time and time again. She'd brought it on herself though, and the memory of the pain was nothing more than one of the payments for her crimes.
Frisk didn't have that ability anymore, the ability to reset. Somebody had taken it from her, making her feel fragile, easily crushed, like a tiny dollhouse that could be blown away by a tornado so easily nobody would even notice. Without her powers, and with none of the eXecution Points that had once stained and strengthened her body, but most certainly strengthened the murderer's, what could she possibly do?
She glanced at Papyrus, who was continuing to dash around throwing stuff into his bag. That was a question for another time, though. With Papyrus giving his all like this, willing to sacrifice everything without a moment's hesitation, just to protect her, how could she do any less than give everything that she had?
Actually, she paused for a second. He had saved one small thing, hadn't he? He'd thrown every treasure that she knew existed into his bag without showing any sign of indecision. But he'd saved something. What kind of keepsake would be so much more important to him than any of that? Momento… would probably have been a better word. Toriel had taught it to her, back when Papyrus had first given her the pocket watch.
Toriel… Frisk felt the deep emptiness begin to claw at her again, and she pushed it off hurriedly. Now was not the time to get drawn back into that emotional void. "Papyrus," she called out to him. "What are you doing?! And why exactly are doing it!?"
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Papyrus paused for a second, glancing down at the bag. What kind of a question was that? Surely his actions and the paper made it clear what they were doing. "WE ARE ERASING THE HOUSE," he said simply. "ERASING ALL PROOF THAT WE EVER LIVED HERE." The look of bewilderment on Frisk's face caused him to pause. He understood it all too well.
For a brief moment, his grief made it through the shell he had become so great at maintaining. The house had always felt alive to him. What he was doing felt like losing a close friend. "GOODBYE, HOUSE," he thought silently. "THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES. IF SANS' WERE HERE… I'M SURE HE'D SAY THE SAME THING."
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A few days earlier, life had been simple, ordinary. He'd been in his room, working on one of his many songs, and Sans' room had been making far more noise than normal. He'd gotten skilled at removing the normal level of annoyance from his recordings, but this was so loud that he was having a problem hearing himself. And as he was rather loud, this was both impressive… and annoying.
Storming out of his room, Papyrus marched over to Sans' and pounded on it rather violently. "STOP MAKING SO MUCH NOISE, SANS! I AM TRYING TO RECORD SOME NEW MUSIC FOR THE NEXT ROYAL GUARD MEETING, WHICH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT, BY THE WAY!" He turned to head back to his room. He didn't expect a response, to be honest.
He was pretty sure there were times when the door blocked any sound from getting in, and even if now wasn't one of those times, whatever bizarre thing was going on in there was blasting out so much noise that it could easily drown out his voice. Besides, his annoying little brother never listened. Which was why it was such a surprise to not only have the noise actually stop, but also hear the door open behind him.
Papyrus spun around to see Sans' peering out at him, sweat dripping from his face. He looked deeply troubled, which was never a good sign. Papyrus had only ever seen him this way a couple of times, and it had always led to rather complicated problems.
"We need to talk, Pap," Sans nodded his head toward Papyrus' room.
Papyrus immediately opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. His brother was acting peculiar, even for him, and he really didn't really want to know what was going on. As the older brother, he had a responsibility though. "MAKE IT QUICK," was what he decided to go with. "UNLIKE YOU, THE GREAT PAPUYRS ISN'T A FAN OF WASTING TIME." The two brothers stepped into Papyrus' bedroom and closed the door.
As soon as the door was closed, Sans leaned close to Papyrus. "I am going to tell you something Papyrus, and I need you to listen closely. Do not blow off what I am about to say to you. Do not write it off as 'your younger brother being annoying.' Treat what I am about to tell you as the gravest thing you have ever heard. The fate of monsterkind, and possibly the world itself, depends upon you doing so."
Papyrus swallowed. Just as he had predicted, Sans had a new problem that they were going to have to fix. Wouldn't be the first time, but it had been quite a while since the last one. He wanted to ask why they were in his room, behind a closed door, whispering when nobody else was even in the house, but figured he'd save that question for some less unsettling time. "I'M LISTENING."
"Frisk is in danger, a lot of danger, and if we are unable to tip the scales, she will die. Unfortunately, that will be a lot harder than one might hope for." Sans glanced around. "It's a very complicated situation. I pray I'm mistaken, but if I'm not, we are going to need to be prepared. I've already spoken to Grillby, Toriel, and Megan. They know what they are going to have to do. Your job is going to be simple. I want you to erase everything in this house, top to bottom. I'll take care of my room and the lab."
"WHY DON'T YOU TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE IF YOU ARE GOING TO KNOW WHEN IT NEEDS TO BE DONE?" Papyrus asked with a raised eyebrow.
"There are other things that I have to do, that only I can do," Sans replied, shaking his head. He didn't go into what those things were, and Papyrus didn't ask. He knew what Sans' was capable of, but even knowing all he did, sometimes Sans' actions were beyond his level of comprehension. "No more questions. This is for Frisk, Papyrus. No matter what happens, no matter what it looks like, everything that we do from here on out is for Frisk. The Chess Master has spoken, and we must obey. PROMISE!""
This time, Papyrus didn't argue. He simply nodded his head. "I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR FRISK. I PROMISE."
Sans reached down and slid off one of his gloves. Papyrus stared, wide-eyed as he did so. Never once, in the several hundred years they'd been together, had Papyrus seen Sans without his gloves on. Even when he slept, in a heated room, only wearing his boxers, the gloves never left his hands. Papyrus had always felt that something secret had to be hidden underneath. And he was right. On Sans' hands, pointer fingers, were two aqua colored rings. "Give these to Frisk for me, if the worst should happen."
Papyrus did not reach for them. He didn't like what Sans' was implying. "WHY NOT GIVE THEM TO HER YOURSELF? I'M SURE SHE'D BE OK WITH THAT," he protested.
"If the worst should happen, I probably won't be seeing her again," Sans shook his head sadly, and Papyrus took the rings. It felt like he was signing his brother's death certificate as he did so. "Frisk only needs to wear one, but the other is not for you. I suggested that, but apparently The Chess Master has another pawn somewhere. For the time being, he will be her guardian. After you erase everything, tell Frisk goodbye and head to the lab. Once you get there, you'll know what to do."
Papyrus wanted to argue, to say that this was utter nonsense, to say that Sans' was going to be fine, that he wasn't going to let Frisk do... whatever it was she was supposed to do, with some stranger that even Sans's didn't know anything about. He wanted to say a lot, but didn't say any of it. Instead, he swallowed the argument. This was for Frisk. Sans had said so, and whatever his opinion was of his brother, Papyrus trusted him completely. If Sans said this was how it had to be done, then so be it.
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"THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOESN'T KNOW," Papyrus replied honestly. He'd steeled himself now, knew what had to be done, and as such, his old demeanor had returned. This was all for Frisk. As such, it was time to say goodbye. "BUT HE KNOWS THAT IT HAS TO BE DONE."
He took the bag from Frisk's hands, quite to her surprise, and motioned for the door. Frisk's eyes darted towards it. "TIME FOR YOU TO RUN HOME, FRISK. THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN HANDLE EVERYTHING ELSE ON HIS OWN." Papyrus reached into his pocket, pulled out whatever it was that he had been hiding and dropped it into Frisk's pocket.
Before Frisk had time to react, she found herself being ushered quickly out of the house, the door being locked behind her. Her first reaction was to turn back to the door and start screaming for Papyrus to open it, as Megan had done to Sans earlier that day. But… she hadn't. Megan hadn't done that, ever. Was everything that was going on a result of Megan not going to Sans? Would everything have been avoided if she had?
"You really should have gone to Chara's room, Red. We suspected you wouldn't, but life would have been so much simpler if you had. So much could have been avoided." Yellow's words reverberated through her mind. Even if she had done exactly the same things this time around, that option would apparently not have been available. And yes, she was to blame for everything that was going on… again.
She didn't know why Papyrus was doing what he was doing, and perhaps it was better that way. She really didn't need her hand in everything going on around her, especially if she didn't have the power to control it the way she used to. If Papyrus thought this needed to be done, and was taking it that seriously, she'd just have to trust him.
Her eyes then darted down to her pocket, and she pulled out the items that Papyrus had dropped there. Two shimmering aqua rings. They looked like they had been made by a master craftsman, and as if no expense had been spared. But… what did they mean? What were they for? Why… when he was willing to throw away everything else, had Papyrus chosen to keep these. And why the heck had he then given them to her?
She was tempted to put one on, find out if it had any special properties… But she found herself hesitating. For some reason, wearing a gemstone ring given to her by Papyrus seemed like a pretty momentous thing. Then there was the question of the number. Why in the world had he given her two of them? Maybe things would make more sense when she got home. That is where Papyrus told her to go. Her sanctum… But without Toriel there…
Frisk punched the door and sighed. She didn't want to go home, but what other choice did she have? Where else would she go? She didn't want to have to deal with any of this. She had made a pretty decent life for herself, hadn't she? Why was this always happening to her? Was she cursed, as Chara had told her so many times before?
The answer was simple. She was a human attempting to live some semblance of a life in the Underworld. That simply wasn't possible. People would always come after her. The world itself would reject her. It knew she didn't belong here. It was always going to happen. As this realization sunk in, Frisk felt the breath get knocked out of her.
She had been doomed from the start. She… it didn't matter what she did. It didn't matter how hard she tried. It had never mattered. How could she have been so stupid? Why hadn't she grasped it after twenty… fifty… a hundred runs? She'd always thought that she must have been making some sort of mistake. But no… She would never find peace, and neither would the Underworld.
So what was the point in going forward? She'd chosen to do so, hadn't she? From day one, it had always been one foot in front of the other. But the point… the point was to do whatever Papyrus wanted her to. She had no idea why, and she was pretty sure that he didn't either, but she trusted his judgment. He had promised to keep her safe, after all.
There wasn't a lot she trusted in the world, she didn't even trust the world itself, but she trusted Papyrus. Fiddling the rings, she slipped them back into her pocket, and started running through the blizzard towards her house. As she ran, she felt the weight of the toy dagger in one pocket, and the ring and pocket watch in the other. She had no idea what was ahead, but that wasn't going to stop her from diving head first into it.
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Home… To an empty house. To a place that used to feel safe. To a place that belongs to another world, another time, another Frisk. What could she possibly hope to find there? As the mysteries around our hero begin to tighten their grip, Frisk finds herself doing what she does best. Taking one step at a time. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. As always, your fanship means a lot to me. Hope to hear from you.
~ Xanatos Stones
