The second their lips touched Tony jerked in surprise, then gasped, eyes drifting closed as the fight completely drained from him. His mouth parted easily under Bucky's, making Bucky groan and press his advantage, deepening the kiss with a light swipe of his tongue, and eliciting a soft little sound of surprise from Tony.

Tony tasted almost exactly as Bucky had envisioned - sweet and heady, with an undertone of something unique that could only be Tony. It was intoxicating, and it made the thought of stopping - even for the air his lungs were starting to remind him he needed - a struggle.

Eventually, Tony's hand came up to bat weakly at Bucky's chest; Bucky took the hint and backed off, but didn't go far, his face hovering less than an inch from Tony's.

"It's not real," Tony whispered, breath ghosting across Bucky's lips.

Bucky blinked slowly, thoughts sluggish. "What?"

Tony opened his eyes. "You're drunk," he said, voice strained and eyes flashing with something like hurt. "I can smell the mead on your breath."

Bucky blinked again, confused, and opened his mouth to protest - then realized, with a dawning sense of horror, what he'd just done.

Bucky pushed himself off the wall and took several hasty steps backwards, stomach roiling. "Oh God," he gasped, covering his mouth. "Oh God, Tony, I'm sorry-"

"Don't," Tony said, but he was hugging himself and shaking, and, oh, oh fuck fuck fuck, Bucky had done that, Bucky had -

"I'm sorry," Bucky gasped, making an aborted move to step forward, then thinking better of it. "I shouldn't have, I didn't mean -"

Tony flinched, making Bucky's heart sink. "You've had a lot to drink," he said, still hugging himself and refusing to meet Bucky's eyes.

"Tony, that's not an excuse," Bucky choked, reaching towards Tony and then stopping and pressing his arms to his middle instead. "I - I would never -"

"No, you wouldn't," Tony said, with a harsh, mirthless little laugh. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand and shot Bucky a quick glance before turning away completely. "I think I'm going to get some air," he said, in a tone that was almost normal.

Almost, but not quite.

"Tony," Bucky started, only to stop himself when Tony's shoulders hunched.

Tony paused a second, as though waiting for Bucky to say something else, then sighed and yanked the door open.

And while he didn't slam it on his way out, the sound of it shutting still echoed in Bucky's head.


The Soldier stares at the man that is his mission, sword drawn and ready.

"Bucky, please," the man begs, lifting neither his sword or his shield.

The Soldier does not know who or what a Bucky is, even if the word does tug at something in his head.

"Nothing of concern, child," whispers the soothing, melodious voice of the hydra in his head.

The Soldier relaxes and brushes his uncertainty aside, and calmly watches as the man steps closer.

"Bucky, it's me," he says, sliding his sword into its scabbard and then lifting his hand to show its emptiness. "I'm your friend."

"You're my mission," the Soldier replies, and then swings his sword at the man's head.

The man lifts his shield in time to block the blow, but it still makes him stagger, and gives the Soldier an opening to kick him in the stomach.

"Bucky!" the man cries as he crumples to the ground, but the Soldier ignores him, and slashes down with his sword.

The man is faster than the Soldier has anticipated, and dodges with only a graze on his side. He deflects the Soldier's next slash with his shield again and rises to his feet.

"Bucky," the man pleads, and still doesn't reach for his sword, which, for some reason, makes the Soldier irrationally angry.

He swings his sword again, and punches the man in the face when he uses his shield to block the slash. The man makes a halfhearted attempt to fight back, landing a weak blow to the Soldier's stomach and slamming his shield into the Soldier's shoulder.

They both go down in the ensuing tussle, kicking and punching, the shield and the Soldier's sword falling to the wayside. An unnatural rage overcomes the Soldier, and he finds himself driving his fist into the man's face repeatedly, while the screaming in his head gets louder and louder.

"Bucky," Steve chokes, face bruised and bloody, when the Soldier finally slows down, breathing hard.

The Soldier growls and wraps his hands around Steve's neck.

"Bucky, wait -"

The Soldier squeezes the man - Steve - his mission's - neck.

"B-Bucky -"

The screaming in the Soldier's head won't stop, and neither will the voice of the hydra.

"Bucky?"

He just wants it to be quiet.

"Bucky, wake up -"

"Shut up!" the Soldier screams, and slams Steve's head against the ground.

There's a sickening crack, and Steve goes still, only now, when the Soldier pulls his hands away, he realizes it isn't Steve. The man is too small, hair too dark, and no, no, no no no no no-

"Tony?" Bucky chokes in horror.

Tony doesn't respond, doesn't move, doesn't breath, because he's dead, dead dead dead, just like Steve, and Bucky killed him, killed them both -

"Bucky,"

The Soldier - Bucky - monster covers his ears and screams, loud and long and anguished, while the hydra hums softly, lulling him back into sleep….

"It's okay, Bucky. I've got you."

Bucky didn't startle awake, but it was a near thing. He sucked in a great lungful of air, heart thundering in his chest, and didn't open his eyes, scared that if he did, he would find Tony's still, dead face in front of him again.

Bucky shivered and turned his head, surprised when his face became pressed up against something solid and warm. A familiar, comforting scent engulfed him, which Bucky sank into gratefully, inhaling deeply and then muffling the whine he could feel building in the back of his throat.

Someone shushed him softly, soothingly, and Bucky belatedly realized that there was a hand stroking his hair, feather-light and gentle. Bucky choked down a sob, because he didn't deserve the comfort after what he'd done, but he couldn't pull away from it, either.

"Bucky? Are you awake now?" Tony whispered softly.

Bucky nodded without lifting his head from what he now realized was Tony's stomach, too ashamed to let Tony see his face.

Tony sighed lightly, and then his other hand came up to rest between Bucky's shoulder blades, pressing down and gently rubbing the tension away. "You were having a nightmare. I'm sorry, I tried to wake you, but…"

Bucky shook his head and sucked in a shaky breath. "I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely, and started pushing himself up by his elbows.

Tony frowned down at him, then brushed some of the hair away from Bucky's face. "It was a nightmare. You have nothing to be sorry about," he said, tucking Bucky's hair behind his ear.

"No, not about that," Bucky said, sitting up and turning his head so he wouldn't lean into Tony's hand. "About earlier. I-I'm, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"Forget about it," Tony said, giving him a small, strained smile. "You were drunk, we were both angry… we said and did things we didn't mean. It's okay."

Bucky shook his head, because he hadn't been drunk and hadn't said or done anything he didn't mean, but then Tony surprised him by reaching up and insistently tugging Bucky back down, until his head was lying on Tony's stomach again.

"It's okay," Tony repeated firmly, an odd note to his voice.

Bucky swallowed and nodded, then turned around so he was facing up. Tony immediately moved to brush the hair out of his eyes again, then kept combing his fingers through it.

"Are you okay?" Tony asked after a few minutes of silence.

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He thought about lying, but then the image of Tony's dead body came to him unbidden, and made his chest constrict.

"No," he admitted hoarsely, before swallowing around his dry throat and sitting up. He moved to the end of the bed, keeping his back to Tony. "I need to tell you something."

A hand settled between Bucky's shoulder blades, and when Bucky chanced a glance at Tony, his brow was crinkled in worry.

"Your nightmare…?"

Bucky shuddered. "No. Yes." He shook his head, then shuddered again. "Don't wanna talk about it," he mumbled, leaning forward and covering his face in his hands.

The bed shifted as Tony moved to sit beside him, a line of warmth all along Bucky's left side. The hand on Bucky's back moved up to his neck, then slid into his hair again.

"What, then?"

Bucky sucked in a deep breath, then another. Then he slowly lowered his hands.

"Do you remember before, when I told you that HYDRA did things to me?" he asked carefully.

Tony blinked, then nodded cautiously. "I… yes. But you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Bucky."

"No, no you need to hear this," Bucky said, shaking his head.

Tony cocked his head in confusion, but Bucky shook his head and plowed on, before he could lose his nerve.

"You see, I - God, I don't even know how to say it," he mumbled, running a hand over his face. "Zola, the man who… enthralled me. Us. All of his soldiers. The thing he - they - did, that made me strong and fast and and and - theirs . It was, they -" Bucky stopped and swallowed, and pulled his legs up so he could hug his knees.

Tony moved his free hand down and wrapped it around Bucky's ankle, both an encouragement and a comfort, which Bucky accepted gratefully.

"There was a cup," Bucky whispered. He'd never told anyone - Steve, Fury, the dozens of doctors and healers Shield and Steve had insisted upon - this particular bit; he'd always claim a fuzzy memory, or that he simply didn't know how. "They'd make us drink from it, right before and after they sent us out."

Bucky had almost looked forward to that cup, with its ability to take away the pain and the confusion and the doubt.

"What was in it?" Tony asked, voice hushed. The hand he had had in Bucky's hair had moved down to Bucky's neck again, and was squeezing lightly, and soft, grounding pressure Bucky could focus on.

Bucky closed his eyes. "The stuff that made me the way I am now," he said. "The stuff that made it so Zola could enthrall me, and forget my own name." He opened his eyes and looked sideways at Tony, his own haunted expression reflected in Tony's wide eyes.

"Blood of the hydra."


Once it was out in the open, Bucky felt as if a dam had been broken.

He told Tony everything. How he could still remember the faces of the people he'd killed, and often woke with their screams echoing in his ears. How, after Steve had finally tracked him down, he'd tried to kill the man, and would have succeeded had the Black Widow and Sam Wilson not stopped him from strangling him to death.

What it had felt like to taste the hydra's blood on his tongue, and the feeling of peace that had come with it.

"You could hear the hydra's voice, loud and clear as a bell," Bucky said, voice hoarse from all the talking. Tony was sitting up against the headboard, and Bucky was lying down on Tony's stomach again, though he couldn't remember when they had moved. "I don't know if Zola had it under some kind of spell, or if it had him under, or if the whole thing was some kinda deal between the monster and HYDRA's forces. But whatever it was, the thing seemed happy enough with the situation."

Tony made a sound of dissent, curling and uncurling a lock of Bucky's hair around his finger. "I suppose it does answer the question of where they came up with the name," he sighed, startling a sharp bark of laughter from Bucky.

"I'm sorry," he gasped at the look of alarm Tony gave him. "It's just - no one else has ever gotten it, and I've literally been waitin' years for someone else to be in on the joke. It isn't really funny, but I…"

Tony's gave him a strained smile, and lightly pulled at another lock of hair. "If you can't cry about it, might as well laugh," he said, sliding his free hand down to Bucky's bicep and giving it a squeeze.

Bucky let out a shuddery breath, and covered his face with his forearm. "I'd rather laugh," he agreed, moving his arm so he could sneak a peek at Tony, who caught him looking and smiled dolefully.

"You know, there was a rumor…" Tony started, then bit his lip. "There was a rumor that whatever elixir Erskine used on Steve was made with dragon blood. It was only a rumor, since nobody in the kingdom has actually seen a dragon in centuries, but…"

Bucky chuckled weakly. "'Had', he corrected, and lifted his left arm - which still had several dents from the dragon's teeth.

Tony huffed. "Had," he agreed, the hand in Bucky's hair tightening a fraction. "But my point is, if Erskine really did use dragon's blood, than you and Steve -"

"Are still nothing alike," Bucky said bitterly, clenching his fists.

"- are more alike than you think," Tony finished firmly.

Bucky scowled and sat up. "No, we're really not," he snapped, shaking his head. "Don't you see? I'm a monster, Tony. They put monster blood in me." He hugged his arms to his middle, feeling an embarrassing burn in his eyes that he was determined to blink away. "I could hear the dragon, before - could feel its blood-lust - and sometimes, like just now, or in my sleep.. I can still hear and feel… it, rattling around in my head."

He looked over and glared at Tony, whose face was pinched in what looked like pain. Trembling, Bucky swallowed and looked down at his lap, then continued.

"There's a big difference from what Erskine did to Steve and what HYDRA did to me. Erskine made Steve into a hero, but HYDRA -"

"Took you against your will, and tried to shape you into something you're not," Tony said sharply, before taking a deep breath and shaking his head. "I'm not saying what Steve chose to do and what happened to you is the same thing. God, that's not… it's not even remotely the same, and just thinking about it makes me want to stick one of your knives through Zola's eye."

He shook his head again, nearly vibrating in anger that wasn't directed at Bucky. Then he let out a long breath and reached out, wrapping his hand around Bucky's wrist.

"I'm just saying... no matter what it was that made you the way you are now, you… who you are, and what you choose to do, now? That's all you." He turned Bucky's wrist over, then set his hand in Bucky's, palm to palm. "HYDRA didn't make you into a monster, Bucky, anymore than Erskine made Steve into a hero," he said, bright eyes pinning Bucky's. "Steve is what made Steve who he is, same as you - not HYDRA - have made you who you are: A guy willing to risk his life to help someone else, and who takes on dragons to keep a friend safe."

He gave Bucky a wry half-smile, then, and added, "Which, speaking of, blows your hydra-blood-makes-a-monster theory straight out of the water, because apparently dragons are very mean and nasty, so I doubt having their blood is any more noble than a hydra's."

Feeling like his throat was going to close up, Bucky blinked rapidly, then let out a wet chuckle. "Yeah, but the hydra was bigger," he said weakly, feeling like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Tony's face shifted through several emotions, before he settled on one of faux-irritation. "Seriously? 'Mine's bigger than his'? You're really going to go there?" He shook his head indignantly. "I'm trying to encourage you, you ass. Stop ruining it," he said, even as his hand tightened around Bucky's.

I've got you.

Bucky laughed, the corners of his eyes stinging. Then he wrapped his arm around Tony's shoulders and dragged him against him in a one-armed hug.

"Thank you," he said, burying his nose in Tony's hair.

Tony sighed, his breath warm against Bucky's neck, then nodded minutely.

Bucky closed his eyes, reveling in the closeness. He'd been afraid, after earlier, that he'd lost this, but now...

"I really am sorry, about before," Bucky said quietly, after a few seconds of silence. "With, with Loki, and…"

"S'okay," Tony mumbled, face hidden. "You might have… touched a nerve, reminding me about Steve, and I… overreacted. A bit." He pulled away from Bucky and gave him a quick smile, but didn't make eye contact.

Bucky's heart sank. "So you - you really… with Loki…?"

Tony jerked his head up in surprise. "What? No, of course not! I mean, I like the guy alright, but not…" He stopped and shook his head, a light blush dusting his cheeks. "It's just - look, you reminded me that, even if I, theoretically, did find myself falling for someone else, I'm still engaged to Steve." He gave Bucky an odd, sideways glance, then turned away, flush deepening.

Bucky's heart pounded. "What if..." he began, then stopped and cleared his throat. "What if you were in love with someone else?" he asked, feeling brave. "Would you still marry Steve then?"

Tony's hand - which had been drumming against his leg - stilled. "That… seems like a rather pointed question," he said, after a minute of silence. "You heard me when I said there wasn't anything with Loki, right? I like talking to the guy, but..."

"I'm not talking about Loki," Bucky said, biting his lip. "I just mean… in general. If you…" He stopped, fidgeting nervously, before blurting, "Steve would understand, if you told him. If you told him you loved someone else, and you didn't want…"

He trailed off as Tony shook his head, looking wary. "It wouldn't just be Steve I'd be disappointing," he sighed, tapping his foot against the ground and chewing the inside of his cheek.

Bucky scoffed. "Who? Shield, or your family?" he asked. "Tony, it's not their decision to make."

Tony chuckled. "Well, yes, but I was actually thinking about the kingdom as a whole."

"I highly doubt the entire kingdom really cares if you two get married."

"Then you've underestimated the will of our people," Tony said wryly. "Haven't you heard any of the gossip? We've been the talk of high society from the start."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Bucky snorted. "I'm serious. It's your life, your decision… I know Fury always made it out like there would have been some horrible fall out if you and Steve hadn't decided to do what you did, but really, what's the worst that could happen? Steve becomes king, and then passes the torch to your father in a few years, just like how things have always gone before."

Tony wrinkled his nose, then shook his head. "Completely ignoring the court's reluctance to put Steve on the throne by himself," he sighed. "Rightful or not, people really don't want my father on the throne. It's not a huge secret that Peggy has been running the house more than my father actually does, anymore, and, well." He shrugged. "If he can't even run his own house, how's he going to run a kingdom?"

Bucky frowned. "Then give it to you," he said. "I mean - if it's all going to be rightfully yours in a few years anyway, and everyone is fine with you running things alongside Steve, I don't see how you doing it by yourself is any different."

"We're a family of blacksmiths and engineers," Tony snorted. "Which, sadly, in this day and age, doesn't endear us as competent rulers. Plus at least half of my own house thinks I'm off my rocker - do you really think I'm fit to rule by myself?"

"Yes," Bucky said without hesitation.

Tony startled, then blinked slowly at him, surprise, disbelief, and then something Bucky couldn't identify flashing across his face.

"I… thank you. That, that means a lot," he said softly, mouth trembling. "But, but I…"

He sighed and looked down. "It's just… the kingdom needs to know they're going to be taken care of. And if it takes Steve and I marrying to do that, then, well… who am I to be selfish, and say no?"

Bucky opened his mouth to protest, then shut it. Because really, what could he even say to that?

"Tony," he started softly, but before he could think of anything else to say, the ship gave a great lurch, nearly knocking them both off the end of the bed. "What the hell?!"

Tony grunted and wiggled out from under Bucky, who'd fallen half-over on him, then let out a stream of expletives with the ship lurched again.

"Is it storming?" he demanded, pushing himself to his feet and steadying himself with a hand on the nearest wall. "Heimdall said the weather looked clear, but -"

Another lurch, this one stronger than the last, followed by a loud, wall-vibrating roar that Bucky could feel in his bones.

Tony stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Please tell me that is a normal ship sound, and not another dragon," he pleaded, grabbing onto Bucky's arm when yet another lurch made him stumble closer.

Someone banged on their door, then threw it open.

"The sea monster is attacking!" Fandral shouted.

As if to punctuate his statement, there another great roar.

Bucky and Tony exchanged looks.

"It's not a dragon," Bucky told him, before letting go and dashing after Fandral.