CHAPTER NINETEEN


(Note: This chapter will really make you laugh.)

Tucompso said Has anything exciting happened? I'm a slow learner, Flattooth talk still sounds primitive and incomprehensive.

Mimus and Sapphire, meanwhile, just keep their distance from most of the herd. They pick a spot that seems not so crowded and begin building a new nest for their young.

Yes, the story we heard about Chomper turned out not to be exactly what Guido thought happened but something else that we didn't think had happened. Chomper was just protecting a girlfriend of his. He wasn't being a bad Sharptooth. I'm not sure why Shredder though was talking to him as though he was an ally. said Ruby.

Chomper is probably just pretending to be an ally. I think Shredder thought, when Chomper killed the Clubtails, that he was one of them. I just hope that Chomper can keep up his guard and not let anything slip that will give him away. said Tucompso.

I'm sure he'll manage. said Ruby.

Tucompso said So anyway, about what we talked about earlier, this, death from being old thing, do you happen to know how soon and or long until it decides its time to get me too? Ruby, are you just not answering because you know I won't live long and you don't want me to be afraid?

Ruby replied I do not know when death, even by old age, will come for anyone. As for myself, if I knew when it would come for me, I would not be there when it was supposed to come but would be someplace else.

Good answer. Tucompso remarked. I do not want to die, but I suppose if I have to, I would like it to be for something bigger then my self, no pun intended.

Meanwhile, Chomper and the others left the Mountains that Burn. The pack has many dead Domeheads. The group rests that night. Several Sharpteeth call over Chomper. They are near a magma heat vent.

Hey Chomper, we're going to have a little bet. said Rusty.

What kind of bet? Chomper asks.

We're going to see who can eat the most green food without food loss (barfing). I bet you all my Domeheads that I can beat you. said Rusty.

Nah, I can beat both of you. said a brown Two Claw.

No way, I'm going to win this wager. said a third.

Tiny, we're going to get lots of Domeheads for dinner tonight. Chomper whispered to Tiny. He still wasn't fond of of green food. However, he'd eaten some of it in the Great Valley and at least worked up enough of a tolerance to it that he didn't spit it out when he chewed it and could down some of it.

Phyco removes a plant from the collection. Trust me, you do not want to eat that! When I was close to starvation I once tried eating that plant, and I was on my back for eight hours with a racing heart mucus coming out my mouth and a really bad pain in the lower tummy. Then when I recovered I had red water in my bladder water. I can't remember what happened after the hallucinations started and I found my self in a rising creek with colony crawlers. The rest are safe, for being you know, plants, but don't eat that one, ever! he said.

I'll take note of that. said Chomper. Chomper picked up some Tree Stars. How about these? Chomper asks.

I am not fond of those. The only good I think they are for would be to wipe my tush after taking a dump. I cannot imagine anyone eating them. said Rusty.

Well, I think I can take down one. said a grey Sharptooth named Geirr. He puts one in his mouth, chews on it, and swallows. He grimaces. Time for a second one. he remarks. He tries it but cannot down it and spits it out. The group laughs.

Phyco, meanwhile, has just been looking around for a good stick this whole time, but he has had no success because he can't manage examining them while holding them with his mouth and his arms are too short.

Rusty ate three Tree Stars. As he tried the fifth, he coughed as he put it near his mouth. None of the others, minus Chomper, who hadn't tried yet, could top that. Well Chomper, you will need five or me to beat me, or else I get your Domeheads. he said.

The guy can't do it. said Gerrir.

Chomper eats nine Tree Stars. One at a time. He then eats a tenth. After that, he grimaces and coughs. No more. he said. The group, gasping in astonishment, all hands him the Domeheads that they had bet. He hands them all to Tiny. Here you go dear. Lots of Domeheads for your supper. he says.

Bet she'll like that Chomper. Ok, next, we do Tree Sweets. said Rusty.

Phyco having found the perfect stick sits with it watching the group, waiting.

Phyco, what are you doing? Chomper asks him.

Phyco replies Nothing yet, and nothing I would ever want to do. When I was a orphan all alone in the wild, starving and bad at hunting, I ate many bad idea items such as, my own waste, ground puffers (mushrooms) and of corse, green stuff such as what you are eating. I figured if flatteeth can eat that green crap maby I can too. I ate four times as much as you have eaten now. It took 45 days before I could poop after that and it came out looking the same as when it went in. I am going to hate having to do this, you would probably be in a lot of pain, but trust me, you're going to be glad you have someone to help it come out.

The group stares at Phyco, their eyebrows raised. You'll have to tell me about your adventures in your childhood sometime Phyco. I know a lot of kids and others who would love to hear them, as would I. said Chomper. He wondered though, if he could ever tell the Great Valley them. They, as far as he knew, hated him now.

Rusty eats 10 Sweet Bubbles. No more. he says.

How about you Phyco. How many can you take? Genrirr asks.

Chomper, meanwhile, eats 20 Tree Sweets. He again wins. He Phyco, want some Domeheads? Chomper asks.

Absolutely, I love domeheads. maby when their herd has repopulated we can hunt them again. Phyco replied, grabbing some of them and munching on them, starting with their heads.

Ok, round three. Sweet Bubbles. says Rusty.

Good idea, tell them my childhood story while they are young. After all the world has far to many sane people already." He says in complete seriousness and without sarcasm or passive aggression. "I don't really want to relive that moment, but if your sure you would be honored if I join your game, some one volunteer to deconstapate me when it is my turn and I'm in. said Phyco.

We won't have bowel stoppage. Don't worry. Besides, if you do, I am NOT sticking my claws near your tush. says Rusty. The others nod.

The group again tries. Phyco decides not to play after all. Chomper wins round three. Ha. Domeheads for me. he says. The group monas. They have lost all of their Domeheads. The group grows to bed. Chomper, meanwhile, picks up the pants Phyco said not to eat. He grabs them, thinking they might be useful if ever has to has use them agianst one of the pack.

The next morning, Shredder tells them Ok, we are going to attack a Yellow Belly herd next. The group all heads toward Berry Valley. Though Chomper has heard of the place, he has never been there. Around evening, the pack rests outside of Berry Valley. Chomper is alone with Tiny and Phyco. He feels funny in his insides.

Er, Phyco, I have a problem. says Chomper. I have stuff inside of me that wants to come out but can't, if you know what I mean.

Don't worry, you won't have boweld stoppage. Phyco says mockingly.

Well I do. You were right. So now what? asks Chomper, grunting in pain.

Do you need the stick treatment? Phyco asks hoping that isn't the case. Phyco holds the stick and waits for his answer.

I think I do! Just help me already! Chomper grunts.

Phyco sticks the stick up Chomper's tush, wiggling it around and then yanking it out, digested domehead comes out along with green tree stars and other plants in their proper color.

A yellowbelly happens to witness this. She is standing next to water. What she has just seen shocks her so much that she faints. She falls into the water and drowns.

Tiny laughs hard. Shut it Tiny or you won't get the Domeheads I have still left over from last night. Chomper shouts. Tiny quiets.

Sometime later, Chomper remarks. Rusty was right. These Tree Stars are good for wiping your tush. He and the others go off to bed.

I'll always remember this day. Tiny laughs.

Well, just remember, one day something will happen to you and I'll be there to laugh about it. her mate grumbles. The two soon fall asleep, hugigng each ohter