One reason, for everything. That's what he had. He knew, logically, he needed more reasons. But he didn't have any. He wanted so badly, to give up. To let it end. Anymore, at best, it hurt to continue. He was tired of continuing. It was really a never-ending struggle.
He continued though. For his one reason. He reminded himself of her love. Of what it was like in her arms.
He clung to those thoughts when the darkness descended. Remembering the good times they had. If he kept trying, they could have more good times. Lots more. He just had to keep trying.
It was hard. Giving up was very tempting. Years ago, when he still held beliefs, he never would have dreamed of giving up. What the hell had changed? He still isn't sure why he lost everything. He used to believe strongly in the philosophy of never giving up.
Now though, hardly a day passes when the thought doesn't cross his mind.
A quote from a movie comes back to him, "Some people just aren't as well equipped to deal with life."
The man in the movie was commenting on depression, his wife had killed herself in the film and had been diagnosed as clinically depressed. By that man's logic..., those with depression, weren't well-equipped for life.
He used to believe in fighting hard for life. So..., what changed?
He doesn't know. He clings tightly to the one reason he has left. He has to change to keep his reason. Will he recognize himself after that? But then, does he even recognize himself now?
Maybe changing will be for the best. Maybe then he'll actually have lots of good days. Maybe then he won't think about Death so much. He doesn't know, but he's going to try. For his reason.
Some things..., will be.
