~Chapter 6~
Jealousy's POV
After Milieu left, I took the glasses to the kitchen to wash them. While my hands were busy scrubbing, I kept thinking back to Milieu asking me out. I hadn't even asked what movies were out this week; I would have to ask him which one we were going to watch when he picked me up tomorrow. It wasn't after I saw my reflection on the water that I noticed my goofy smile.
Hmmm, that was interesting.
I finished drying and storing the glasses and went up to my room. I immediately stood in front of the mirror and sure enough there was that smile still in my face. I was also blushing profusely. It shocked me to realized that I had never really smiled as sincerely as this, even if it was a bit goofy. I had always been insecure about myself and even while I was happy hanging out with Lune, it wasn't such a carefree happiness. With Milieu, all my insecurities seemed to banish, and I felt like I was floating. That sudden realization that I had never been truly happy was kind of depressing. I mean, I knew I was miserable, it's part of my nature being the embodiment of Envy after all, but I never noticed just how miserable I really was.
I started getting a sharp pain in my chest and all of the feelings of self-doubt that by being with Milieu had been kept at bay came back full force.
A hostile voice in my head yelling at me, telling me that I was stupid to think that Milieu, or anybody else for that matter, really cared about me, that it was just a trick, that he was just playing around, that he would leave once he grew bored with me, that I was just a fun toy to him like I was to Iruma….
No. That's not true, he isn't like that.
He had been so sincere in his apology, and he had been very nice to me. I remembered that when he asked me out he promised me that we would have a great time. 'People break promises all the time', the venomous voice in my head said. Even with my effort to keep that voice away, Lune arrived minutes later only to find me lying in the middle of the floor.
Lune's POV
I had just arrived home and I couldn't find Jealousy anywhere. It was strange because he was rarely out for so long, I hadn't seen him since this morning and he had said he was going to go to the park. I went into the kitchen and the sink had leftover water at the bottom, he must have washed something.
I figured he had to have gone to his room by now, probably sleeping. I always wondered why he had dark circles under his eyes. I knew that he had insomnia, something he developed when he was Iruma's douji. He was never given a break to rest before, but he slept most of the day now.
As I made my way to the upstairs rooms, I heard muffled sobbing. I hurried towards Jealousy's room and threw open the door. I was startled when I found him curled up in a tight ball on the floor crying. I rushed over to him worried he was hurt.
"Jealousy! What's wrong, are you hurt?"
I took him into my arms in an embrace to calm him down. Even though he's taller than me, he's very thin and that helped him manage to curl up against my chest without problem. He clung to my jacket, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I rubbed his back to soothe him and he stopped sobbing after a while. He refused to let me go though, so I had to stay there holding him awkwardly.
I sighed and decided to ask: "What happened?"
He stiffened and finally pulled away from me. He brought his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, looking away from me.
"Don't worry, it was nothing..."
"What do you mean 'Don't worry'? I come home from school to find my Douji a sobbing mess on the floor, and you expect me not to worry that something might have happened to you?!"
He was being cold and distant, he had no expressions on his face, a perfect poker face...
Something definitely happened.
Seeing as he wasn't going to answer any time now, I sighed again and got up from the floor. I had homework to do, if he wanted to talk, then we will talk. Until then, it's best I give him his space.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I said as I walked out the door.
If I had looked back, I would have seen the fresh tears I had brought forth with my parting words.
Jealousy's POV
I can't tell him, I just can't. It's not that I distrust Lune, I know he's trustworthy, he has proven that many times. It's just that I can't get my hopes up with Milieu. I don't want to be hurt like my master.
He thinks I don't hear him crying at night over Yamato. He pretends he's happy in front of his family and peers, but one look at his heart and you can see the storm raging inside.
Besides, he won't approve. Milieu is Dunstan's Douji, he's an enemy and don't they say 'Do not fraternize with the enemy'? We've only spoken for a day and even though Milieu seems sincere, he still blocks his heart around me. It could be a force of habit, but because of it I'm not sure if this is all a ploy or not. I have to be careful.
I've better keep my guard up tomorrow, I noticed that he used a lot of flattery to distract me today, don't want a repeat of that lest he catches me off guard. I'll be all polite and business about all of this, and if it turns out to be a trick, I'll just move on. I won't be hurt by it if I'm detached emotionally.
Or at least I hope...
_
Extremely late, extremely short and uneventful, I don't deserve your forgiveness. College is killing me. I promise, I will not abandon these stories, mainly because I hate leaving things unfinished. I'll try to update as soon as I can.
Anyway, leave a review, hope you enjoy, until next time! :)
PS: I have no idea what type of movie they should watch. A friend told me a horror movie so that, and I quote, 'Jealousy holds on to Milieu for protection during the movie', but I'm not convinced because
1) I'm pretty sure they've both seen worse things so I don't think a decapitation scene with fake blood will faze them.
2) As a horror junkie myself, and lets be honest here, recent 'horror movies' are more funny than scary.
So, any ideas?
