A/N: Let's see where to start….oh yeah that is right by thanking everyone who reads this story, follows it, adds it to their favorites or takes time to review. A super huge thanks to those who review. The insight is very helpful to me. I am happy that everyone seems to be enjoying this story as much as I love to write it. I know the angst is killer in this one, it is one thing to separate our favorite couple but to erase feelings completely that is just a whole new level. But it's Doccubus they always find a way! To reviewer Magineli, I know seethe Lauren would fix this problem in a nano second. She should take time from those pesky fae wars to come and save her other self lol. Unfortunately it isn't a reboot being compelled is like a whole new motherboard with no back up from the old one. To reviewer AnnaPaige79, sucks having others in between, painful to write but till they find a solution angst road lies ahead. To reviewer Rocio190889, seeing is believing especially when you know what your ability does and the blank look that glazes over the eyes. Kenzi made Lauren believe it which needed to be done. The phone conversation was supposed to be both and I am glad you felt the emotion behind it. To fall in love with her again is something that will be addressed in this chapter and glad you mentioned it. It is a very good point. For those who didn't know Lola is a character from the Broadway Play Damn Yankees, and the song she sang was Whatever Lola Wants Lola Gets, had to give a little homage to the state I once lived so close to. A warning this is where the real angst of the story begins. Now on to the story, enjoy and review they do matter trust me.
Lauren roared down the streets of Toronto with a motive to talk to one dark fae Mesmer. The car practically handled itself so whipping into the parking spot was no problem. The two got out of the car headed into the club each step with purpose. These ladies were on a mission and it showed. The bouncer knew Lola and sent her and Kenzi right to the VIP room. Kenzi sat on the plush red velvet seats as a cocktail waitress came in taking their drink order. "I think I like Lola she is after hour's doctor. Regular hour's doc can be a little uptight," Kenzi handed Lauren the shots she ordered. "How do we get Vex?"
The pothien sat back in the seat crossing her one leg over the other stretching her arms out across the plush chair. "Trust me he is on his way. When I come in the guards let him know a VIP entered and he always greets his VIP customers. Then he will be lucky that I don't kill him."
Kenzi was nodding as she was throwing back another shot and took a sip out of Lauren's drink literally spraying it out of her mouth with disgust, "Eww hurl what the fae is that?"
Lauren was watching the entrance to the VIP area, "Bourbon neat," she never diverted her attention from where she knew Vex would enter. Seeing black pants in the distance she sprung up from the seat flying across the room smashing her back against the wall so he wouldn't see her till he came in. Patience wasn't usually a problem for the blonde fae but today it was. It would be over her dead body that someone used her own powers against her. Vex came into the room and didn't have a chance to speak as the pothien stepped in front of him her pupils dilated, "Vex you little shit I want to know what that bitch Evony did to me so start talking now." She grabbed him by the shirt pulling him close as the words dripped with venom. She was so close to his face their noses were touching. Knowing he was under her compulsion she stepped back throwing him into the seat. "Talk now."
The human goth sat still she never saw Lauren so aggressive. Plus she was feeling all the liquor she consumed and it was still hard taking in Lauren with the outfit she was wearing. Added with her current buzz she kept forgetting it was the fae doctor that was in the room with her.
Vex straightened himself up a little in the seat. "I would like to start by saying this was Evony's idea and she is the one who should be truly buggered not me."
The fae doctor placed her heel right smack on his chest. She leaned into the leg that was against him making the heel dig deeper in. He winced in pain. "TALK," she put more pressure before dropping her leg back down. Kenzi got wide eyed but said nothing instead trying the bourbon again.
"Just peachy take my heart out while you are at it love. You wanted Bo's mother's name and address knowing Evony had to know it. After all nothing goes on in her city without her knowing about it. She found out about your human all those years ago nothing has changed there crumpet. She told you that she would give it to you but at a price. You whined about being her informant for the past fifty years. She reminded you that was for Nada, Nala, what's her name." Vex was waving his hand trying to remember the name.
"Nadia," Lauren practically growled out.
"Nadia, that's it. Evony said what you have been doing was the price for finding out the truth to Nadia and I helped you free her. Which you should take into consideration before you do something not so nice because I find my current situation worrisome. You asked her new price for the information and she said she wanted you to compel yourself. You told her it was impossible you needed to see yourself to put on the compulsion trance and it had to be your voice and if you were in the trance you wouldn't be able to whine about what to do. Evony made you record your voice writing down what you should say. You read it and agreed to it. Before she gave the name and information she made you sign some sheet about betraying the light fae in case you decided not to return. But you did after you took on Bo's mother. You came back looked in the mirror, your pupils got all big, you went all wacky, and Evony played the tape. You said you had no feelings for Bo, felt nothing when you saw her, no emotions, and it was just for healing." Vex rubbed the part of his chest where Lauren's heel was digging just a few moments prior. He was wearing a black button down shirt with a popped collar and a black choke chain with black leather pants. She ended the compulsion, "Oh just peachy use your ability on me." He stood up slightly offended, "Just for giggles let's not tell Evony about this. Love those very very tight tight pants Lola." He went towards the door turning back bowing down to the two of them, "Enjoy the night and I'm very impressed with your ability darlin' didn't disappoint me half as much as I thought it would." He vanished behind the door before Lauren had the chance to attack him again.
She was sitting there not making a sound since Vex's confession. Kenzi was watching her intently. "Well, what now you reverse this thing. Fix it like Gone in 60 Seconds fast?"
Lauren was back in the chair since the Mesmer left. She had her elbows on her thighs with her head in her hands. She was listening to Kenzi speak but didn't want to lift her head up yet. It was true she must have loved Bo and Evony took that from her. That was worse then what the previous Ash had done. She didn't love Nadia it was close but there relationship was cut short of it happening. But this time it was there, she loved Bo and now she couldn't remember even liking Bo. All she thought about Bo was that she was attractive and very sexy. Nothing else. Not one ounce of feeling. How can she look into the eyes of the person she loved and tell her it will never come back. First thing was to let Kenzi know the harsh truth. Slowly dragging her head up she ran her hands over her thighs of the soft leather pants. "Kenzi I told you I can't do that. If I compelled you to stop drinking you would never touch a drop of liquor again. If I then compelled you to go back to your normal self you still would never drink again because that is your new normal self. The only way I would get you to drink alcohol again is if I compelled you to drink it. And as I told you I cannot compel myself to have feelings for Bo. It is catastrophic."
"Okay well let's go with the whole Disney thing. True love's kiss like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. Come to think of that Disney used that quite a bit they need new material," she still had Lauren's bourbon but was trying to think through the very strong buzz that she now had.
"This isn't a Disney movie. I have had sex with her since I compelled myself still nothing. And believe me there was kissing and a hell of a lot more." She smirked at the thought of healing the succubus. Now that she enjoyed immensely but that was it. She knew that wasn't fair to Bo or to her. To have just a purely sexual relationship where Bo loves her still remembering what they had and she didn't. More accurately she would never remember again.
"Then we do it the hard way. You fall in love with her all over again. It can be like The Vow without the horrible car accident. Oh my own romantic movie," the goth felt proud that she was coming up with so many answers. She was getting frustrated that the pothien was not making any suggestions but chalked it up to her not feeling shit towards her bestie.
Lauren glanced over at Kenzi with a sadness in her eyes. "You still aren't getting it Kenzi. I can't just re-fall in love with her. I compelled myself to have no emotion or feelings towards her. I will never be able to fall in love with Bo. I will never be able to feel what I felt. My compulsion is permanent it is for good. Why do you think I am wanted by the dark and light? I am one of the most powerful fae types it doesn't matter how far away I am from someone to compel them as long as I make eye contact. Once you are in that trance I can take my sweet ass time approaching you and when I do I tell you whatever I want to. Then it is done your brain is rewritten by me. That is what I do that is what the Ash was afraid to lose and apparently so was Evony. I am used by many this is why I don't let much of myself be known." There was a sudden sadness within the pothien. This is why she kept everyone at arm's length. Who wanted her for her abilities? Who wanted her for the fae of sexual desire? To get honest answers she would have to compel everyone that came into her life and that was no way to live. Instead she kept most of herself a mystery not allowing many in but she did. Lauren allowed the succubus in and now she will never have that back. That was the pain she was feeling not the pain of Bo but the pain of knowing she had something beyond special that was permanently lost.
This sobered up the tiny human as the true seriousness finally hit her. "That can't be it. There is always another way. You can't just give up." Kenzi wasn't sure if she was feeling sick from this realization or the liquor she consumed throughout the night. It could be a combination of both. How was she supposed to tell Bo that it was done and over. "Don't you want to remember what you felt? This is so not The Vow she at least tried."
"I do more than anything but it's literally emotionally impossible for me." Lauren took the bourbon from the human and tossed it back in one shot. She placed the glass top down, "What were we like together? How was I with her?" Lauren knew it was futile she wouldn't feel anything but she wanted no needed to hear it.
Kenzi saw the pain in her eyes. She knew it had to be hard on the pothien as well. To know that you had the love of your life and would never be able to remember that. Serious wasn't usually her best asset but for the two of them she would try. "Like a fairy tale. As if you were literally made for each other. It was nauseating how cute you both were together. When you looked at her your eyes would light up just like hers did when she looked at you. The smile that you would have when you saw her was blinding. The smallest touch you guys had was electrifying. Everyone around you could feel the heat, sparks and intensity. It seemed more painful for you both to be away from each other. You tried pushing her away in the beginning but you couldn't. The next night you were there against our house waiting for Bo. It was supposed to be just sexual but it led to more no matter how you tried to fight it. I understand now why you did. When she got hurt the fear in your eyes would scare me and I am usually the one who doesn't freak out. This is coming from a human who was introduced to the fae world by watching a stranger chi suck a man's life in an elevator while I was ruffied. You were happy Lau…Lola," she made the quick correction to the name.
The pothien never took her eyes off of the goth as she summarized their relationship. She had tears in her eyes but they wouldn't spill over. She had the smallest smile on. "I am glad then that I did find Bo. I haven't been happy in a long time Kenzi. Even if I don't remember that I was I am happy it happened. Bo is going to have to let me go. She is going to have to move on and you as her best friend are going to have to help her through that," Lauren had to be honest with Kenzi and let her know the next step in the succubus's life because she was no longer a part of it.
"Bo will not give you up," the goth didn't even know where to begin with this.
"You will help her. There is no other way. Kenzi if I see her with ten other people it will not bother me. If she is hanging on them, kissing them, or falling in love with them it means nothing to me. I do adore you Kenzi and I believe what you are telling me and out of the love I am sure I had for Bo I am asking you to do this for the both of us. I will go to the Dal tonight because I know she went through a shock. I will spend another night with her letting her know that even without me she will be okay. It will be like I died to her. After tonight I cannot even help her heal." Lauren got up even though she couldn't remember her feelings this was still devastating to her. "I promise you I will research my fae type and I will do what I can finding out more about compulsion but Kenzi don't get your hopes up." She might not have the memories but she believed in it. If you love someone you want to see them happy. It wasn't fair to make Bo wait on something she knew was impossible to break. She would get her revenge on Evony for this. "Will you do this for her Kenzi?"
It was the goth who let a tear slide down her cheek. She used the back of her sleeve to wipe it away. "Got something in my eye. Eyelash or something." Seeing the serious expression on the fae doctor she nodded, "I will."
"Try to keep her away from where I work so she can move on easier. You need to treat it like I died. Text me if you are going to the Dal and I will leave if I am there. I want to make it easier on Bo. Obviously she will know I am not dead but I will disappear like I was. It will be hard at first but then acceptance will set in. She will move on. After all she is a succubus," she forced a smile for Kenzi. She knew the human was looking towards her for strength. "Now I need to have one more chat with my favorite Mesmer and we can get back to my place so I can change."
The two got up as they exited the VIP area. The pothien narrowed her eyes as she scanned the scene below her trying to spot the dark fae in the crowd of people. She had her hands on the railing of the balcony when she saw him from the corner of her eye. She saw he was about to lift his hand and followed where he was looking to the human standing beside her she pushed Kenzi behind her getting them out of his path. "I am going to kill him. Stay here."
In a stealth like move the doctor was down on the floor below them as Kenzi was blinking trying to figure out how the hell she got down there so fast. She spotted the two of them pushing and squeezing her way to where they were. "Sorry about that it was all just good fun," Vex said to the human as she approached the pothien tightened her hands around his neck. "If I die Evony will be suspicious."
The blonde loosened her grip when she felt Kenzi's hand on her arm. "Vex you like being the puppet?"
"I wouldn't say that we have our tiffs."
Lauren went to compel him again but he shut his eyes. "Ugh fine, I will find a way to compel you again and make you walk right into the light fae compound stabbing yourself as your last and final act. And I will make it seem like you did it for your love of Evony. I got you today so don't under estimate me." She wasn't playing around anymore. First she had to ensure the Mesmer would keep his mouth shut. "I know you are intrigued by Bo because you didn't kill her and you could have when she came to you about Lou Ann. You didn't think it went past me. So don't tell Evony about the information you gave me tonight that is between us and when I take her down you can take that lush position of Morrigan."
Vex pondered this for a minute. "I am still hurt over you placing that very sexy heel deep into my chest but what's a little tap between friends. You got yourself a deal pothien," he stuck his hand out to shake it meeting her eye.
Lauren took the opportunity. Her pupils dilated as she compelled him not to tell Evony about their conversation. Observing the questioning look she was getting from the human next to her Lauren explained, "After what happened to me I wasn't in the most trusting moods. Not where the fae are concerned." Making sure to comfort Kenzi she added in, "I do trust Dyson, Hale and Trick. They made mistakes I know they aren't perfect but they are the better ones."
The drive back to Lauren's loft was quiet. The pothien was thinking how hard this was going to be for Bo and that Kenzi was going to have her work cut out for her. She was also trying to calm the rage she was feeling at the dark fae leader. It was taking all of her control not to turn the car around and slit Evony's throat. She was going to get her revenge that was for sure but she wanted it to be as painful as what the Morrigan did to her. It didn't matter if she couldn't feel the love she lost just knowing it was there that she had it was all the motivation the fae doctor needed.
The goth was deep in thought herself. The drive back she was thinking of how much more research she was going to do in between taking care of Bo and balancing her relationship with Dyson. She was going to need to start drinking spiked coffee or maybe get an IV drip of it. There was a lot going through her mind on how she could try to fix this. What was worse was thinking of how she was going to get the succubus through this. This was not how she was thinking tonight would end. Now for the sake of Bo's mental catatonic state the fae doctor was going to get Bo home and tuck her into bed for the last time. In the morning she would be gone and Kenzi would have to tell the conscious brunette all that happened. She wiped away another one of those rogue tears.
When they pulled into the underground garage and got back to the loft Kenzi decided to head to the Dal first meeting Lauren there. Since she had Bo's car and Dyson was waiting there watching over her best friend. The pothien said she wouldn't be far behind she just needed to get out of the Lola outfit and back into something more Lauren like.
DAL
Kenzi tried to pep herself up instead of looking like someone just ran over her dog. She went into the Dal and noticed Trick wasn't behind the bar. It didn't take a genius to know that he was in the back room with his granddaughter. She knocked on the door instead of barging in. Dyson opened it showing his shock at her knocking, "You know how to knock?"
She forced a smile, "I just learned it. That damn pothien and her manners." It was a relief to see Bo sitting up on the couch. Trick was next to her and Hale was sitting in a chair. "Hey Bo bo nice to see you alive again. SHE'S ALIVE, ALIVE," she grabbed onto Dyson's shirt showing some of her flare that she normally does. It was an act but needed to be done. She went over to her best friend slapping her thigh hard, "I thought you were going through the change. You know we are all infected Walking Dead style."
Bo rubbed her thigh, "Oww nice to see you too. I don't even know what happened. Dyson, Hale and Trick told me I had some kind of mental break down." She knew not to say anything in front of the light fae in the room but she remembered what happened. How could Bo forget the Mesmer telling her that Lauren compelled herself to forget her feelings for Bo thanks to Evony. Judging by the way her best friend was acting and the call from Lauren she figured they did something to reverse it. Hearing Lauren's voice pulled her out of the shock state she fell into. It sounded far and distant but just the sound of the pothien was enough. Bo heard it and felt like she was trying to find her in a dark empty room and just followed the sound. It snapped her back out of it and since then the light fae she was in the room with jumped her with questions. She played it off not knowing what else to do. At first she felt guilty but it quickly dissolved when she remembered how they all kept secrets. With the exception of Hale.
The door pushed open and Lauren rested herself in the threshold. She grinned at the succubus, "How is my number one patient feeling?" The pothien wanted to feel bad about this but she felt nothing. She had to keep reminding herself what Kenzi told her. Plus all that she learned tonight.
The brunette had an instant wide smile on. She tried to get up but her knees where weak. Kenzi helped her as she made her way over to Lauren standing right in front of her. "Hey," she weakly said as she locked onto her eyes.
Lauren put her one arm around Bo's waist pulling the succubus to her. She pressed her lips against Bo's this felt familiar but that was from the memories of healing the only ones she allowed herself. The healing minus the emotions. The kiss deepened and the pothien forgot they weren't alone in one of their houses. Bo broke the kiss when the need for air became too much of a necessity. Lauren placed her forehead against the succubus's, "Can I take you home. I think you need to be under medical watch." She peeled herself off of Bo glancing over the brunette's shoulder, "What do you say grandpa can I take home your granddaughter?"
"How can I resist my two favorite ladies? Take care of her for me she was in quite a state of shock before. Hopefully you can get her to recall what might have happened," the Blood King was no dummy. He knew there was more to this then what was being told to him. Something happened to make his granddaughter fall into such a state of shock that she was unresponsive. The past three weeks Lauren was very distant towards just Bo and now suddenly she returned like nothing happened. For now he wasn't going to say anything but he wasn't going to just sweep this under the rug like it never happened.
Kenzi called after the two, "Well I will give you two some privacy and spend the night with my favorite canine. After all I did promise him if he was a good dog he would get a treat." She kissed the shifter's cheek since she was currently sitting on his lap. Tonight she figured sex would be a good distraction because she had no idea what she could tell Dyson. Certainly not the truth. How do you explain it, well Lauren has been giving Light fae secrets to the Morrigan since the old now dead Ash put her ex human lover into a coma. Evony was the one to give Lauren the news and helped her break the curse so she could release Nadia and let her go live a life away from the fae. Then to help Bo save her mom she made another deal with Evony compelling herself to forget her memories and when we helped Vex he decided to tell us the truth of what happened. Kenzi thought that was definitely not the smartest way to go.
Lauren opened up the passenger car door for Bo. The succubus stopped before getting in lightly kissing the pothien, "I knew we would find each other again. You are going to have to tell me how you guys did it." Bo had happy tears in her eyes. It was one of the worst feelings she ever felt. To find a love that you never even thought existed. It was the kind of love that only exists in TV, movies and books. But she found that kind of rare powerful love in the pothien. When Vex told her that she compelled herself to lose those feelings to help save Bo it felt like her world came crashing down. The words kept replaying in her head like a broken record. And with that the wrecking ball crashed through her heart and mind in one swoop. That was when the brunette's legs went weak and the rest she couldn't even remember. The thought of losing what she never thought was possible was so extraordinarily painful on her heart she almost couldn't breathe. Her mind shut down and her body went into survival mood. It kept her alive but she didn't feel alive.
The pothien didn't respond when Bo said that to her she just kissed her back and returned the weak smile. This should break her heart but the emptiness she felt when it came to Bo was overpowering. How can you feel anything at all when it is just empty space? The fae doctor had to constantly remind herself that she was doing this for Kenzi and for the love she couldn't recall. A love that had to be that powerful she was willing to use her own ability on herself. Now that ranked in the phenomenal category. No fae uses their own power on themselves. The love she had to have for Bo must have been astonishing. The kind of love fairy tales are made of. This was no fairy tale and there would be no happy ending. She felt the brunette's eyes on her as she was driving to Bo's house. Lauren took her eyes off the road for a second to meet Bo's hoping for a fraction of a second she was wrong and that true love could trigger something. Seeing those sad doe like warm brown eyes should pull at the pothien's heart but it didn't. It did nothing so she gave a half grin and put her eyes back on the road. Lauren felt Bo put her hand on top of her hand that was on the stick shift. This wasn't a love story, no instead it was the start of a gut wrenching heart break.
