A/N: As per usual thanks to those who read this, follow it, and add it to their favorites. Your reviews are faemazing! I know its killer writing Lauren so emotionless hence the angst. Evony will get hers but Lauren is clever so we won't see how that happens just yet. But it will! To reviewer JoonyMoon, glad that you felt the emotion I poured into the characters. It was hard to write a robotic Lauren. To reviewer Magineli, I know it was heart breaking writing when Lauren just listened to the message then erased it not feeling anything. But I guess I did my job as a writer since you felt the angst in that. To reviewer Rocio190889, you caught the picture detail. It showed Lauren how much Bo clearly meant to her despite her feeling nothing now. What she wrote in the note was honest because she could see how she felt even if she couldn't feel it. What can I say I write Dyson how I think he should be written lol, but thank you for the compliment. Apologies for not updating faster (created a collabo with the totally kick ass writer LostGirlz – Don't You Remember check it out) now on to the story. Enjoy and review, love you guys.
3 MONTHS SINCE THE BREAK-UP
The book hit the ground causing Kenzi to jump off the stool thinking someone kicked the door in. The petite goth realized she fell asleep again trying to read what had to be the 200th book on pothien's. A new routine started since the day she took part in ripping her best friend's heart out. Bo broke down for a few hours barely pulling herself together. The next week she moped around the house. It was killing Kenzi and she hardly left her side put her own relationship on hold. Dyson was being understandable with the whole situation. He would stop by to check on Kenzi making sure her mental state was okay with everything she was witnessing. He also would drop off food knowing neither one were cooks.
When Bo finally did leave the house she became careless taking on any investigation no matter the risk. She even entered some fae underground fight club. The succubus healed the way a human would no matter her injuries and some were pretty bad. Kenzi had to call ahead to the light fae medical facility several times in a month and a half making sure Lauren wasn't there. Bo needed stitches on a few occasions. Kenzi damn nearly tore her head off when she found out she had fractures but it didn't change. Bo still wouldn't heal any way other than the old fashioned way. To top off the impending heart attack Kenzi was feeling the succubus would go on a case the next day. The goth drank twice as much as she used to and was awaiting liver failure in the near future.
Then a month and a half later Bo changed again. There was an impending danger that they all were aware of. They worked separately with Lauren on trying to figure out what to do about the Garuda. No one wanting to put them in the same room. That wasn't what changed the succubus. It was when she ran into Lauren at the Light Fae compound after a talk with Lochlan. When she saw the doctor and Lauren was so passive with Bo it made her do a 180 and not in a good way.
As Kenzi was thinking of all that happened the past three months she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Followed by the fae that were making the noise, two guys and a girl nodded acknowledgment towards the human before heading out the door. The goth scrunched her nose in disgust. Bo had become promiscuous, actually that word would be an understatement. She watched as the succubus finally emerged from the stairs. Before she got to the kitchen Kenzi grabbed the book sliding it on a shelf. "Done filming sexubus does Toronto," she wasn't sure which Bo was worse. The one who was a complete train wreck not caring for her own safety or super slutty Bo.
Bo shrugged her shoulders as she picked up an apple tossing it casually in the air catching it one handed. Smirking she answered, "Guess I needed to heal," she took a bite from the apple.
Kenzi wanted to slap it out of her hand. She knew Bo was trying to turn off her emotions the way Lauren did but it was different. The brunette had a hard time with that concept and this was how she dealt with it. By trying to be like the pothien, emotionless. It didn't suit her. "Heal huh, funny you didn't seem hurt at all Lara Croft."
The brunette didn't even bother acknowledging the statement. She made her way back to the stair case calling to Kenzi as she was going up, "I have to go meet Ryan."
The goth rolled her eyes. Ryan was the other problem lately. A dark fae that Bo slept with on occasion. To be more accurate many occasions. Then she almost married him because of being the Blood King's granddaughter. Her blood got into Ryan making him Bo's number one stalker. Thankfully Kenzi and Trick stopped it but it didn't stop Bo from sleeping with him. When she heard the bath water start she took the book and left the house. Once she was a good distance away she pulled out her cell phone.
LAUREN
The pothien was sitting at her desk researching all the other fae types like her. Hearing her phone ring she felt around for it not taking her eyes from the book. "Hello," Lauren didn't bother checking the caller id she was wrapped up with reading.
"Care to pick up a human hitch hiker," Kenzi asked when she heard Lauren's voice. They became closer through all this madness around them. The goth would spend Friday nights there for a few hours at least. When Bo was in her wreckless days Kenzi would tuck her in then head to Lauren's before Dyson's. When the succubus hit her porno days Kenzi would go there to get out of the X rated industry. They didn't always discuss what happened since that night. Here and there they would go over things they came across which was a big fat zero. Since the Garuda that was a big part of their conversation.
Lauren broke out of her trance. "Where are you," she worried about Kenzi. A human in the fae world was dangerous enough it was worse with the doom of the Garuda. She hung up when the goth told her where she was. The pothien got her stuff together as she left the facility to get Kenzi. Not paying attention she slammed into Lochlan. "Shit, sorry Lochlan," she went to move around him but he grabbed her arm stopping her.
"Clearly I don't know what is going on with you and the succubus but I need it to stop. If we are to defeat the Garuda I need a champion and that champion needs you to be at her side doctor. Without you she is unraveling so whatever it is fix it now before we all die and that will be on you," he released her arm as he moved forward. Lochlan never looked back, he never even looked at her when he spoke only leaning down whispering in her ear. The annoyance and anger came from his voice in waves.
The doctor shook her head just what she needed more pressure. She went to her car and picked up Kenzi as she kept going forward. "Um Lauren you hit your head. Body swap? Amnesia?" Kenzi couldn't figure out why the pothien was heading towards the crack shack. The fae doctor didn't answer as she reached the house getting out of the car. The goth sat there stunned not sure if she should follow, sit in the car, call Dyson. With the hope that Lauren got her memory back and didn't tell her yet she ran after her. By the time Kenzi got in the house she heard Lauren going up the stairs. Knowing Bo was naked she decided to listen at the end of the stair case instead of following.
Lauren marched right into the bathroom not even phased by the naked succubus. "We need to talk," she didn't care if Bo wanted to or not. How could she Lauren still have felt nothing whenever she saw the succubus. When she heard of the many times she went to the medical facility she never even asked if Bo was okay. The only comment she made was to Kenzi that she was going to have to stop working completely if Bo kept this up. When Kenzi mentioned that Bo was being a slutubus Lauren didn't give a shit as long as she stopped entering her medical facility.
As cold and harsh as Bo was being when she saw Lauren her heart stopped. The last time she was in her house was that night three months ago. The aloof behavior that she was displaying lately was quickly melting out of her seeing Lauren standing right next to the tub. Trying to put on a brave face she responded, "I think you made it clear that we don't." It was hard for her to talk considering she was fighting the inner battle of the tears that wanted to spill freely.
"Bo what happened is not my fault. I am trying to do everything I can to show you to move on. I am sorry that I compelled myself but I must have loved you a hell of a lot to do that. I am sorry you still feel all those things that I can only imagine while I return none of those. And I am sorry that I did it all to save your life and if I had to do it over again I would imagine I would do it the exact same way." She wanted to try and be sympathetic but her emotionless heart towards the succubus wouldn't allow it. Lauren couldn't even begin to try and understand what it felt like on Bo. She wasn't even sure who this was worse on. Bo at least knew what they had she could only imagine. Wasn't the saying it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all? To the pothien she never loved at all she only came close to it with Nadia. Realizing this was not going to get them anywhere she paused trying to collect herself. Being a bit nicer she sat on the edge of the tub, "Sorry if that was harsh. We need to find a way to be in a room together if we are going to beat the Garuda." This was why she stormed into the house. Lochlan was right and Lauren needed to pull Bo out of the funk.
Her last bit of resolve melted away as the tears welled up in the brunette's eyes. She wouldn't allow them to escape though. Trying not to even blink so a single tear wouldn't roll down her cheek. Knowing she was fighting a losing battle she splashed some water on her face to mask the tears. Everything Lauren said was the problem it wasn't her fault. It was apparent she loved Bo a lot to do what she did and it must be hard to not know what they had. However none of that made it easier for the brunette. "How are we supposed to do that? When I am in a room with you I see the future I was supposed to have and lost. When I am in a room with you I see my life next to you where it was meant to be. Whenever you are even near me I feel my heart breaking all over again knowing I can never have you again." Since Lauren decided to not filter Bo returned the fire.
Lauren brought her hand up to her head as she rubbed over her eyes with her forehead wrinkling. The pothien was quiet for a few minutes before she dropped her hand down to Bo's face. She held the side of Bo's face staring deeply into her eyes. The blonde was hoping that it would just trigger something. A memory or a moment even though she knew it was impossible. But wasn't true love supposed to be non-existent as well. Nothing. Not a memory, a moment or a feeling. Not even at Bo closing her eyes tilting her face into the pothien's hand. It didn't pull at her heart at all. It didn't light a spark that was dimming. Bringing her hand slowly back she continued, "I can compel you. If you want I can take away the pain that you feel." It was all the pothien had left to offer.
Bo didn't try to mask the tears this time. "I wouldn't want you to. I would never want to look at you and feel nothing. As painful as it is I would never want to forget having a love like we did. A love that is so powerful it takes my breath away."
The blonde understood that. She wished she could remember something to feel something towards Bo. She did think the succubus was sexy and gorgeous but that was it. Oh and incredible in bed. Since she saw that picture three months ago she did spend free time researching. Lauren was speechless when she first gazed at that picture. The way she was looking at the succubus she couldn't even put into words. What she wrote in the letter was true. Never in 1100 years did she ever look at someone like that. "We need you to be our champion Bo. Will you do that for me? For the love we lost or I lost," she was trying to get the importance through to the succubus.
Against everything that told Bo this was a terrible idea she didn't care. She got up from the bath pulling the doctor to her in a kiss. Bo needed to feel the doctor again. Knowing she couldn't have her was torture but at least having her physically she could pretend even for an hour. Bo missed this even the taste of her lips. Lauren went to pull away but stopped when she heard Bo plead out, "Don't," before reclaiming her lips.
When Bo broke away kissing down Lauren's neck she closed her eyes at the feel of the succubus touch. It didn't spark any emotion but again their fae types fit so well together. A pothien and a succubus. Lauren didn't need to love Bo or remember any of the feelings she had for her to know that she fully enjoyed this. Then again it could be from the only memory she allowed herself which was of the times she healed the succubus. "This isn't a good idea," Lauren barely got the words out.
Bo heard her but didn't stop. Instead she grabbed the pothien's leather jacket pulling it down her arms. "Then stop me," Bo dared the pothien.
Kenzi was downstairs and she heard the edge in Lauren's voice when she first went up there. Then the conversation seemed to turn gentler. It gave Kenzi false hope that maybe true love could undo even compulsion. Then she heard nothing and got scared that the pothien got so annoyed with Bo she might have drowned her but the second she started up the stairs she turned back around hearing the moans. "Shit balls I feel like John McClane in the first Die Hard," Kenzi was talking to herself as she started pacing. Knowing this was the worst thing to happen. For Lauren it would be good sex for Bo it would be deeper. She wanted to strangle the pothien after all she dealt with in the past three months. Kenzi suddenly saw it replaying over again. Deciding she didn't want to go through it again she closed her eyes as she went to go up the steps. "I'm coming up," she yelled as loud as her voice allowed.
Lauren pulled away from Bo, "We need to stop Kenzi is on her way." This was not how the pothien saw this going down but she couldn't deny the sex between them was mind blowing. That was not easy for a pothien to say or feel. The perfect match in bed and she knew what Bo was trying to do. If she couldn't have her emotional she was going to have her physically. Almost trying to stake some kind of claim on her. The fae doctor knew she should have stopped it. Should have pushed Bo away but the lover's she has had in the past three months paled in comparison to Bo in bed. That was about the only time the succubus ever crossed her mind. She knew it was different for Bo. Bo was doing the opposite trying to use lovers to not think of the pothien.
The goth stepped into the bedroom her hand tight over her eyes. "You two better be watching Jillian Michaels and trying to copy the workout and that's what all the groaning is from." Kenzi knew they weren't working out, well in the exercising kind of way. The last place she wanted to be was in this bedroom in this particular moment in time but she had no choice.
The pothien was currently on top of Bo in between her very sexy toned legs. She couldn't stop the smile from Kenzi's statement. She went to pull her hand away but Bo put her hand on top of Lauren's not allowing it. "Kenz…a few…more…mi..minutes," the succubus was going to kill her best friend if she didn't leave the room.
"I am going to voice that this is a VERY bad idea. Like throwing a cigarette at a gas station Elvira style. Hear that Lauren. BOOM," Kenzi turned still covering her eyes as she left.
An hour later Lauren was standing next to the human who was half way through a bottle of scotch. Lauren arched an eyebrow, "Scotch?"
Kenzi ripped the bottle from her hands, "I moved up Miss Bourbon," she stuck her tongue out at the thought of the alcohol the pothien preferred. "Now when did you think that was a good move because from where I am sitting that was Kim K's wedding bad," the goth was tapping her fingers on the counter as she questioned the pothien.
Lauren glanced back over her shoulder before facing Kenzi again, "We should talk at my place."
The goth put her hand over her heart, "Oh I'm sorry imagine my fake shock at that thought considering that's where we were supposed to be going before you ran in here." Kenzi followed Lauren to her car before she said anything else. "Thought that through about as much as Kanye taking the mic from Taylor Swift."
She turned her car on peeling away from the house. "Alright I admit that didn't go as planned. Lochlan pointed out that Bo needs to be at her best to fight the Garuda she is supposed to be our champion. He told me whatever I was doing to undo so Bo would be whole. How the hell was I supposed to explain our delicate situation to that obnoxious smug Ash?" She glanced at Kenzi since the goth was quiet Lauren thought she might have fainted. Seeing that Kenzi was starting to understand she finished explaining, "He is right so I went there to talk to Bo. It's a step. We need to be able to be in the same room together. I may feel nothing for her but I do for you guys for my friends. I would like the fae world not to go to hell so I have a chance at maybe finding a way to break the compulsion." That part was true. Lauren had an emptiness when it came to the emotions towards Bo but she knew there was something very powerful there. The evidence was piling up all around her and she was determined to find a way to fix it even though she was extremely doubtful. Plus she didn't want the fae world to fall apart till she got her revenge on Evony that she was very carefully planning. She wanted this to be perfect.
"I get that and it makes sense. So then what you slipped on the water and fell into bed together where your head landed between her thighs. And please feel free to skim on the dets," Kenzi wasn't an idiot. Lochlan was right and so was Lauren trying to be in the same room as Bo since it has been months. The part that she still wasn't grasping and Lauren had yet to mention was the part where they had sex.
"Bo needed me. She can't have me emotionally and she probably never will again. So I gave her the only thing I can. Me, physically, she can be as intimate as she wants with me. It will trigger all her emotions and I will allow it because I need her to be who she was meant to be. If being in her bed so she has me in some way helps then so be it. Not like I don't get anything out of it," Lauren explained the reasoning behind it.
Kenzi ran her tongue over her top teeth. "And does Bo know that you have been sleeping with that Victoria Secret model from that time when she went and had her Fury three way. Which in case you forgot ended badly, very badly." The goth knew that Lauren stopped sleeping with Evony because she wanted to rip her throat out and things that happened in the past three months gave her a reason. Kenzi also knew that Lauren had a few other lovers but only one was recurring.
Lauren kept her eyes fixed on the road, "There are things she doesn't need to know Kenzi." She wanted Bo to be as strong as she could be. Letting her know that she was sort of dating someone might not be the best way to strengthen the succubus.
"Good thank you. Thank you Lauren for not putting me in the worst possible shituation." Kenzi slumped down in the seat. This made things so much worse for her. Here she knew that Lauren was starting to get closer to someone else feeling nothing for Bo. In the meantime Bo was thinking at least Lauren was physically hers. The goth put her arm around her stomach since she suddenly became queasy.
NEXT NIGHT
Lauren walked Kimber to her car kissing her good bye leaning through the driver side window. When the car finally pulled away is when the doctor saw Bo. "Fuck," she mumbled to herself as she went over to the succubus. It was too late as Bo got in the car and was already driving away. Lauren ran into her loft, picked up her phone and called Bo getting her voicemail. "Bo, this is childish, call me," she slammed down the cordless as she let out a scream of aggravation.
She picked the phone back up calling Kenzi. She knew the goth was probably at Dyson's when she glanced at her clock. "Shit, shit and double shit," she hung up without leaving a voicemail. Lauren picked up her car keys as she went to the wolf's apartment.
Dyson didn't live far from her. Lauren got there in ten minutes. She was knocking on his door hearing the two move around behind the door. Dyson opened it shocked to see the pothien on the other end. In all the years he knew her he could count on one hand how many times she was at his place. Kenzi was sitting on the edge of his bed clear as day that she got dressed in a hurry.
The wolf sensed the uneasiness in the pothien. "Lauren what's wrong?"
With that Lauren just started laughing. Those two words she could now write a book about. She saw the confusion on her two friends faces. "Dyson you need to sit down because I have to tell you something."
Kenzi's eyes almost popped out of her head, "Hotpants you drinking again? Experimenting with drugs on yourself?" She was frantically trying to stop this conversation before it started knowing how her boyfriend was a stickler for the rules. And she was close to the pothien.
Lauren knew she was taking a huge risk but with the Garuda lurking over them it didn't matter to her anymore. "Kenzi its fine. I should have done this a long time ago. I need to tell you something and you aren't going to like it. I need you to not judge me till after this Garuda business is behind us." Laughing once more she added in, "Considering we live as I think I just lost our champion."
Now Kenzi stopped trying to get Lauren to explain. She sat down next to Dyson silently sliding her hand into his knowing he wasn't going to like what was coming. Kenzi was also curious as to what Lauren meant in her last statement.
Dyson kept his stoic look firmly in place deciding he wasn't going to judge till the end of whatever it was she needed to tell him this badly. "You have my attention," he motioned for her to proceed.
"Fifty years ago I was dating a human Nadia, do you remember her?" When Dyson nodded she continued, "Nadia fell ill and I was searching endlessly for why. It didn't make sense. I racked my brain over it a million times and couldn't find an answer. One night Vex approached me he told me Evony knew what was wrong with her and would talk to just me. He told me to think about it." Noticing Dyson's disapproving look she put her hand up letting him know to wait till she was done before he commented. "I didn't go to her right away Dyson. But eventually I did. Eventually I was so frigging desperate that I was willing to hear what I assumed would be bullshit. What I wasn't expecting to hear was my own people, the light fae did it to Nadia. My boss, the leader of the light cursed my human girlfriend. He had a shaman do it afraid of how it would look the head light fae doctor with a human lover. We both know that most fae aren't like us Dyson, the way we view humans, and can you say you were different before Kenzi? How would you feel if they did that to her after all your years of loyalty? There was a price for the information if she could prove it was true. She wanted me to be her spy. I had such a high clearance level with the light fae she wanted to know things. I never betrayed you, Hale or Trick please know that."
"How did she prove it," he kept all emotion from his voice as he questioned the pothien.
"Vex and I went to the Shaman that performed the curse. We had to go on a mission for him. Long story short she wasn't lying when the nail was removed Nadia woke up. I let her go to save her life. The only person I ever truly cared for until apparently Bo. Since then I was Evony's slave. I just was too stupid to notice because I trusted her more than my own people till recent events. I would use my underground garage, a different car, contact lenses, and a wig to go see them. By them I mean Vex and Evony. Then she used me again. I compelled myself to forget my feelings for Bo. She had me record a message that she played while I looked in a fucking mirror. I erased my own mind for her Dyson. That is how much I love her but I don't even know it because there is an empty space where she used to be. Imagine looking at Kenzi and feeling nothing. Nothing at all." She laughed as a tear slid down. The tear wasn't for Bo it was for her. The fact that both sides used her and she was blinded both times. "I did it to save Bo from her mother. In exchange for where Aifie lived. Vex told Kenzi and Bo when they helped him. Since then I have been trying to find a way to undo my compulsion but it seems that there is no way to do that. Three months ago I gave Bo a great memory, a perfect unforgettable memory and now the Garuda is happening. Bo is our champion she needs to be whole. I went there to talk to her and gave myself to her again physically. If it was all she could have she was going to take what she could get. The problem is she saw me walking out Kimber and took off."
Dyson remained completely quiet other than the one and only question he asked. He brought his hand up rubbing his chin. "Kenzi told me you lost your feelings and just that, nothing more. I have done research as well. I think I might have found something Lauren." He made no comment about her betrayal. He was loyal to Trick more than the Ash. But that wasn't why he stayed silent. It was because he knew the Garuda was coming and they needed to stay together not tear each other apart. That and he chose Kenzi to be his mate and knew he would do anything to save her life including killing the Ash if he had to.
Before Lauren or Kenzi had a chance to react the pothien's cell phone rang. Trick's number came up. As soon as she picked up the Blood King wasted no time, "No more games Lauren, what did you do to my granddaughter?"
