Chapter 41
"Larrin, a word." Wolf said as he caught up with his sister on the steps of Tex's place. Kat had asked to stay behind with Andrea to see what she felt needed to be done and Larrin had a feeling that Kat really liked learning work that used physical activity than sit down type jobs as Kat was seemingly always on the move.
"Sure, what?" Larrin asked him as she stopped at the front door and turned to him.
"About tomorrow." Wolf started but stopped as Larrin looked uncomfortable.
"You're not going to get weird are you? I don't want to talk about it." She told thim.
"I don't know why?" Wolf argued.
"Because I see the way you look at me." Larrin told him.
"How do I look at you?" Wolf asked.
"Like you're disappointed, angry and I don't know pitying me. I didn't do this on purpose and he seemed like a normal guy in a unreal situation. Haven't you ever trusted the wrong person and have it blow up in your face?"
"Yes, I have. What I'm feeling isn't about you or change how I think of you. You're my little sister and yeah I'm worried about you. In fact I'm petrified because all of this is out of my hands."
"Do you think I want to go tomorrow?" Larrin asked blinking back tears, "Because I don't, I want to forget it all. I want to be here with you and everyone else. I want date Eric and finish my PhD. I want to fix that home and be there when Lt Green proposes to Kara but it's not going happen." Larrin told him in a hushed and hurt tone as part of her felt it was unfair she didn't get to have that but another part accepted that she had to go as it was punishment for her choices and actions in trying to survive.
"You can back out." Wolf told her.
"No, I can't. He didn't forget me and I can't have it on my conscience that he'll continued to pick girls to replace me. I can't have Dr Scott's death on me. Michener's right. I deserve this." Larrin told him.
"He didn't say that-" Wolf started to argue.
"Not in so many words, but him and Milowsky, the people who run this world to them I'm nothing but chattel. So what's the use in fighting it. At least I can make a tiny bit of difference." Larrin argued with him, she was trying to make this easier on both of them.
"You act like you're never coming back." Wolf said as he felt the finality in her words. It made him feel like she was going to disappear for good.
"You don't know Julian and even if I survive do you know how messed up I'll be? The only reason I'm so chill was that I'm pretending to be the person I want to be. I hide all the mess because no one wants to know or see it. I lived out there for months on my own before I heard the radio call about the cure. You know what I finally got why Dad walked off into the scrub and never came back. He just saw way too much and knew-
"Dad had his own issues and that's not on you or me. It's on him, instead of asking for help and seeing the support he had; he disappeared which makes him a crappy dad." Wolf told her.
"Or maybe he was just sparing us." Larrin argued.
"Larrin, I don't want you to disappear. I don't care what state of mind you come back with. I'm not abandoning you, I'll help you deal with whatever happens. But don't think for one second you're not important or vital. A lot of people will dismiss you sure but to me you're damn important and I need you to come back." Wolf told her.
"The boss said to keep you happy." The man said looking down at Rachel with pity as he injected her IV line. Rachel had been laying in her bed listlessly for what felt like hours as pain of her injury, the deep emotional ache in her chest from her inability to save herself and being abandoned drained what little energy she had and kept her unable to move. It was just completely defeating to have her body betray her. She was unrestrained under the blanket but her body refused to get into action and get off the bed to escape.
"You don't have to do this." Rachel told him, even if it was too late given the drugs were running down the IV line into her vein as she didn't even have the energy to remove it and part of her craved the oblivion. Something that was intensely upsetting as she was not someone to take into vices to escape her problems.
"I do and frankly you'll thank me. I'm the chemist around here." He told her as he ready another syringe. "This is my art and frankly I know what Julian does to his victims. So this is my way of helping them and you." He told her.
"I don't want to forget." Rachel slurred as the drugs zipped through her body slowly warming all her little molecules that made up her body. They started to sing in a happy way that was unsettling but also a relief as she felt her pain start to ebb away.
"You won't but you'll be going for a nice ride into oblivion where all your dreams and happiest memories are yours. It's a shot of Joy." He told her with a smile as he injected the second syringe. "So enjoy, I'll be back in a couple hours to make sure you're still in the good zone." he told, Rachel could see his lips moving but missed the rest of what he said as her eyes decided to close and her brain swam in the waves of pleasure as she felt at peace and completely relaxed.
"I wish I smoked." Larrin said as Tom stood in the front yard of tex's house. They'd finished dinner over an hour ago when the Captain showed up. He'd just finished going over the run down for tomorrow. It just reminded her that she had about 9 hours until she'd be back in Julian's presence. She still wasn't ready and somehow she didn't think she ever would be. Tom gave her an odd look. "Now would be a great moment to curse and lit up." Larrin added like it would magically make sense to the man.
"I don't recommend starting now. It'll only make you sick." Tom advised her, he hated his plan. He looked at Larrin's resignation and hated himself for making the young woman feel so obsolete that she only had one purpose left. It wasn't him, this plan was not how he wanted to play things but it was the only one he could think that would work. He'd get Rachel back, they'd put a good dent in the scavengers and get the information they needed to resolve the problem. The only problem was Larrin in that she had no good outcome either way. She'd survive but in being put back into the hands of her attacker would further traumatise her. To what extent Tom wouldn't know as he found it hard to read Larrin as he didn't know her well enough.
"Why are you following Julian's demands? I mean I get why you have to hand me over but the rest could get you and the others killed. It could be a trap." Larrin said, she appreciated the Captain coming out to talk to her about what was happening personally even if Tex had already gone over it with her.
"Sometimes you have to have your enemy underestimate you. I'm sure you understand that." Tom told her.
"Yeah." Larrin said with a humourless laugh.
"Larrin, we all appreciate you doing this even though you don't feel like you have a choice in it." Tom told her.
Rachel stirred awake at her name and opened her eyes up to see her mother's face peering down at her with an excited smile. "Rachel darling, you have to get up and see this."
"What Mummy?" Rachel asked, it was like a dream as she was 7 years old and back in Africa in their family tent. She cold smell the earth and the ozone as if it had been raining.
"Elephants, there's a whole heard with babies. You need to see it. It's amazing. Come." her mother said as she helped pull her upright and pulled on her pinafore over her nightshirt and helped get her boots for her to save time. Before Rachel knew it she was dressed and her mother took her by the hand and joyfully pulled her out of the tent.
Rachel smiled with joy as she loved how her mother never stopped finding wondrous things to see during Daddy's pilgrimages to bring the word of God to the people and help them develop more sustainable farming techniques to the villages so they could sustain their people's lives in service to God. It was all too complex for Rachel to understand and she didn't want to dwell as she wanted to see the Elephants.
Her mother always made a game of it. Like they were trying to escape the village on a secret mission. Her mother pressed a finger to her lips telling Rachel to be very quiet as she smiled and pointed to father who was talking to a village elder. She ducked down low and sneakily ran behind one of the village huts. She waited a few moments and then gestured for Rachel to follow her. Rachel bit her bottom lip in excitement as she looked to her Father and made sure he wasn't looking.
He was very strict about her studies and seeing elephants walk across the plains to him was a frivolas exercise while to Mother it was amazing. Rachel thought it was amazing too as they always snuck off to watch the animals and explore the areas that surrounded their camp.
Her mother waved at her to come to her , her smile brilliant as she wanted Rachel to hurry up.
"Farhad, think we should check on the good Doctor?" Terrence said as the two were kicking their feet up watching a movie called 'Keeping Mum' it was about a murdering Grandmother who came home to reunite with her daughter. It was a Maggie Smith movie that was turning out to be quite entertaining. But then Terrence wished he had a grandmother as cool as the one in the movie.
"No, I gave her another dose like ten minutes ago. She's rolling." Farhad told him with a smile before he took a sip of his beer. If there was one thing he knew about drugs and women. It was that he knew a happy high when he saw one. Dr Scott wasn't going anywhere except in her mind.
"Lucky, I wish I could have some fun but Julian would kick our asses if he found us high." Terrence said blowing out a sigh of annoyance but they would be rewarded.
Or so they thought, but they had their backs to door thus they completely missed Rachel as she walked past their room in slow and staggered gait. The TV turned up so loud that it covered the sound of her foot steps and her IV bag dragging along the floor. The men laughed as the dog met a fatal end.
"Come Darling, just over this ridge." her mother said.
"I'm very tired Mummy." Rachel told her.
"I know but look." Her mother said and in an instant they were at the top of the valley looking down. Rachel laid down on her belly and smiled at the herd of elephants slowly walking in a line a couple kilometers away from them. It was truly majestic. "See the baby elephants?" Her mother said as she laid on the ground next to her. "They are born completely blind. So she'll follow her Mummy wherever she goes until she's big enough to find her way."
"Like I do with you." Rachel said with a smile as she liked following her mother. She got to have all the fun adventures and see beautiful creatures like butterflies, birds and Elephants.
"Uhuh but you're lucky because you get to see the beautiful world around you as you grow up. How about we take a walk?" Her mother said.
"Ok." Rachel pushed off the dirt and her world shifted when she turned around she older and her mother was gone. She was about to feel sad about what she figured was a memory passing through her mind when she heard a snap of a camera and gave a frustrated sigh. She turned to the camera and gave the man behind it a mocking look of censure.
"Really Michael. You're wasting film." She told him even though she felt warmth wash through her as he gave her a smile and lowered his camera. Michael was possibly the best man she'd ever been in a relationship with.
He came into her world and made her feel alive and appreciated. He never got angry about the time and distance that lapsed between them. He always was ready with a smile when he showed up on her doorstep or vice versa. They both had a deep appreciation of Nature and wanting to preserve what they could. He understood her drive to study viruses and bring medical care to remote communities where it was needed. He never asked her to make sacrifices or compromise who she was so they could be together. She didn't want to say it out loud given they only known one another for about 3 months but she loved him. She could see them continuing their travelling lifestyle together and living much like her parents had on the road. But she kept it to herself as she didn't want to scare him off.
"No, I'm capturing beauty." He told her, pointing the camera at her once again.
"If you want beauty, I'll take you to my favourite place. We just need wheels." Rachel told him with a smile as she wanted to take him to where she and her mother had seen the elephants. She doubt there would be any today but she liked sharing her past with him as he had a nomadic life as a child as well. So he understood.
"Take your pick." Michael told her as he gestured to the cars behind him.
"I will and I'm driving." Rachel told him as she walked over to the closest and smiled at finding the door unlocked and the keys in the ignition ready to go.
"Perfect, it means I can take more pictures." Michael told her as he snapped a picture of her yet again.
"I wish you'd take photos of something other than me." Rachel said as she hopped into the jeep.
"Our future children will want to know our story. Picture tells a thousand words." Michael said through the open passenger window. Rachel felt a thrill of excitement at the mention of them having a future together.
"Get in the car." Rachel told him as she loved Michael but the man talked non stop if she let him and she really didn't need him giving her a lecture on the subject as she wanted to show him one of the villages she had grown up in as a child.
