Chapter 15: Choices

"We both knew it would end like this, Shepard."

The air smells acrid, burning his nose. There are no fires smoldering as he looks around, not anymore - just an endless plain of ruin and ash. Irregular forms, the shattered remnants of buildings, occasionally break up the bleak tableau. Gravestones, not for individuals, but for entire worlds.

"You could have stopped all of this. If you hadn't hated us so much, you could have seen the signs," he counters.

Saren laughs. His face is still the same ruin Shepard remembers, the shattered plates and dried blood, the same gaping hole. But, for once, the turian's voice doesn't carry the weight of malice and scorn that he always identified with the fallen Spectre. It's a far more bitter sound.

"Don't be stupid. I would have joyfully put you apes in your place, but not at the cost of my own people. We were both soldiers... I took the path that would save the turian people. And by the time I realized where it led I was too far gone to change."

"But you did. At the end you made a choice. To die free."

"That's always the choice isn't it, Shepard? I wonder which one you'll make?" the turian muses.

He shakes his head. "I know where my loyalties lie. I won't betray them. Not now, not ever."

The malice returns and Saren's broken mandible flexes oddly as he tries to smile.

"Ever?"

A sudden gust of wind sends ashes whirling in the air before they abruptly cease, the fog of fine dust settling to reveal Tali's form laying in the dirt. Her hand clutches her side, life fluids leaking between her fingers while her mask is a few feet away. A spiderweb of cracks mar its surface and there is terror in the young quarian's eyes.

"Why, John?" she rasps. "I l-loved you..."

He blinks, trying to reach for her but it feels as if he's moving through a wall of viscous fluid.

"Tali... no, I wouldn't... I wouldn't hurt you. I swear!"

But she doesn't hear. Somewhere else another scene is playing out and her eyes look through him. Tears streak down her smooth gray skin as her voice cracks with pain.

"Please... please don't! I don't understand! We're your friends... why would you hurt us..."

The quarian's form jerks and she screams, another splash of blood blossoming across the front of her environment suit. Shepard cries out and pushes himself forward with every ounce of his strength only to have the resistance abruptly disappear. He falls forward, trying to gather up the dying quarian in his arms only to have her dissolve into ash the moment he touches her, leaving the man on his hands and knees in the dust.

"No... that - It didn't happen!" Shepard yells. "I sent her away!"

"Are you sure?" Saren asks. "She's still on your ship. You felt the rage, the pain, the urges... that part in the back of your mind that just screams for you to end it now. To take the bliss that's offered."

"That's not bliss! It's servitude!"

"Is there a difference? Give in and there is no more pain. No more fear... just certainty. Absolute freedom from the fragile existence of organic kind. Is it not preferable to annihilation and torment?"

He growls, slamming his fist into the dirt. "The price is too high."

"You won't think so when the time comes," the fallen Spectre says. "Eventually you'll welcome it. The more you fight, the worse it becomes."

"S-Shepard..." a voice utters behind him, a bizarre synthetic stutter in its voice. "You h-have to-"

Pushing himself to his feet, Shepard turns, only to stagger backwards as clawed hands reach for him. The thing used to be turian, but it had long since changed almost beyond recognition. Thick cables ran in and out of the flesh between plates, while large portions of its face was made up of raw metal. There were no eyes, not anymore. Just a uneven collection of balefully glowing optics. The optics spark and flicker, flashing between red and blue as the Marauder's entire body convulses.

"I don't understand what... what do you want?" he pleads, still backing away.

"Please... B-Boss... K-kill... me..."

His mouth hangs open in horror, eyes wide. "Garrus?"

"P-p-p-please... k-" the abomination tries to beg.

Another convulsion wracks its tortured frame. The optics that dot his face cease to flicker, glowing a steady red and the suddenly the thing that used to be his friend lunges for him with talons outstretched. Just as the tips rake against his skin the apparition collapses into another collection of formless ash to dissipate in the wind.

"Enough!"

The tortured Spectre staggers backwards, waving away the dust and ash.

"It's never enough, Shepard. I warned you. The Reapers are machines, but they are ancient, twisted... cruel. Cruel in a way only a machine can be. You can't keep running from them."

There is a sudden moment of clarity, one where the world around him stops shifting and spinning. Saren snaps into focus, standing there just Shepard remembers him, a gray statue with icy blue eyes. For the first time he's able to stop the flood of visions and torments.

"This is a dream... this isn't real," he says, as if testing the statement. "I don't have to play this game."

Saren's one good mandible quirks upward.

"You still think you're the one playing the game? Or are you just one of the pieces?"

"I won't be used. I won't let them turn me against the people I love."

"Then it sounds like to me you've made a choice," the turian replies. "Serve. Or die. Those are the only choices the Reapers offer."

His head feels fuzzy once more but he struggles to hold onto his focus. "You keep saying the Reapers... 'they'... 'them'... you're just a figment. A dream, a piece of my subconscious... the face my brain puts on their words!"

Once more Saren's laughter rings in his ears.

"Maybe I am. Or maybe you finally pumped enough of those drugs into your system to make you see clearly..."

Around him the mercurial wind picks up again. He can taste the dirt in his mouth, the plains of ash turning into a storm around him and obscuring everything from view. As the howling intensifies and his hearing fades, Saren's voice cuts through the din.

"Make the choice, Shepard..."

"He's awake!"

For the first time in recent memory Shepard's body didn't awaken from one of his nightmares like he'd just had an electric current run through him. Instead he slowly opened his eyes and sat up, rubbing at his face. He looked around the room, trying to place where he was. Bright, clean. Multiple beds. He was in the med lab. The now ever present throbbing behind his eyes made the light seem unpleasantly harsh.

"Easy, Shepard," Chakwas ordered, appearing at his elbow.

"How did I-"

"Medical overrides. We found you passed out on the floor of your cabin after Tali commed me in a panic," the doctor informed him quietly, gesturing towards the quarian that was barely restraining herself a few feet away.

Memory flashed back to him. The conversation in his cabin. Her concern, the intoxicating feel of her closeness. That dull ache in his chest that never seemed to go away and then the visions overtaking him. He remembered practically dragging her to the door, throwing her out. Just looking at her he couldn't help but wince.

"I remember falling asleep."

"Yes, I suspect this can likely be blamed for that."

An injector fell into his lap, empty now. Chakwas' voice was taut and disapproving.

"The amount of etomidate in that injector was enough to kill any levo-based lifeform on this ship even considering the nano-regulated release. That is not a sleep aid, Commander. It's a damned anaesthetic!"

"I'm aware of that," he replied evenly.

"Yet you used to for that purpose?"

It wasn't really a question, Chakwas had already known the answer before he'd even awakened. But he nodded anyway.

"How often?"

"Once or twice a week. I'll use one quarter of the dosage, I usually manage to get four hours or so," Shepard explained, doing his best not to sound like a child that had been caught stealing from the liquor cabinet. "Originally I was using twenty percent of the injector but I guess I built up a tolerance and had to increase the amount."

"Insanity," the doctor muttered in frustration.

"Shepard," Tali interjected. "What happened last night?"

Chakwas nodded and fixed him with a stare. "Another excellent question. I checked you out aboard Legion's ship, your vitals were normal. But your quarters were a disaster when I arrived."

Shepard looked between the two women and sighed internally. It would be so simple to tell them, to explain what he had seen to two healers. One that had patched up his broken body time and again, the other that given his soul something to cling to like a drowning man in a storm. But it would mean explaining the visions. Describing Tali lying broken on the ground, Saren's urgings, the ruined landscapes and haunting whispers. He could just imagine the look in their eyes. After all this time they would still only see a man slipping into madness.

"I... don't know. It must have been a residual effect from my encounter in the geth server," he lied.

"You were babbling, Shepard. Like there was someone else there," the quarian urged. "You kept saying things. And then you threw your gun-"

He frowned. "It's all a little... blurry, Tali. I remember you putting the gun in my hands, though."

It was the quarian's turn to bear Chakwas' silent scrutiny, the doctor looked to her and arched a brow.

"I was just trying to make a point," Tali said crossly.

Chakwas' brow remained raised. "It must have been quite the point."

"It was. Doctor, could you give us a moment, please?"

"Of course. He seems to be conscious with no ill effects, though I'll be keeping a close eye on him for the near future," the doctor said. "Stay off your feet until I clear you."

Then she was gone. Silence hung in the room, Tali's shimmering eyes watching him thoughtfully behind her visor. Finally she sighed and stepped closer to his side. One of her three fingered digits found his larger one, squeezing tightly.

"Tell me what happened..."

"I already told you both. It must have been a side effect of the mission with Legion."

It was technically true. Whatever had happened within the indefinable realm that had his mind had inhabited it had given rise to something in him. But the voice that had been whispering in the back of his mind had been with him far longer. To his surprise a tired laugh come from the quarian next to him.

"You always knew when something was wrong with me. When I couldn't sleep on the original Normandy, when I was feeling homesick."

Tali cocked her head squeezed his hand once more.

"You're not the only one that learned, though. Even Garrus might have went along with that lie, but he was never there to hear you cry out in your sleep. Or when you woke up reaching for a gun."

Just hearing the word, picturing the weapon in his hand, made pain shoot through his skull but he pushed it aside. Unlike most Shepard could claim to have felt the pain of death. After that everything else seemed far less significant. These days every joint ached, old scars felt inflamed, all it seemed to compliment the pain in his head. Instead he simply looked away. The medical bay windows had been darkened for his privacy it appeared.

"Maybe... someday soon," he replied noncommittally.

"Soon? I'm sorry for what happened, whatever it was. Putting the gun in your hands was a stupid gesture but you can't keep this up, Shepard. You have to see that."

A faint smile tugged at his lips. That was the Tali he knew. He had acted insane, practically threatened her and thrown her from his quarters and she ignored all it to worry about him. Shepard pulled his hand away from hers and reached up to touch the side of her mask.

"It's not that easy, Tali."

"Kal'tass!"

The Spectre looked at the her curiously. "That... didn't translate at all."

"Because it's even less polite than bosh'tet," Tali replied sternly. "I won't watch you keep doing this. Driving yourself to exhaustion? Taking drugs to sleep? You're punishing yourself out of some kind of misguided guilt for no reason!"

His expression tightened. "There's always a reason. I've tried to be a good man all my life, Tali. A good soldier. A good Spectre. Sometimes I succeeded, or at least I hope I did. But this isn't about my my life. It's about stopping the Reapers. That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"And everyone else on this ship doesn't have the same goal? What makes it your sole responsibility?"

"It became my sole responsibility when I touched that bloody beacon. When centuries of watching the galaxy burn got shoved into my head in a matter of seconds!" he snapped, the vehemence in his voice actually causing Tali to physically recoil.

"I know what you saw-"

He ground his teeth, voice a hiss. "No, you don't. You don't seen the half of it. Everything we've witnessed, every vid feed and news report? Every horror story that you've heard? They all pale in comparison to what comes next. The only person on this ship, in this galaxy even, that understands that is the prothean brooding in the cargo hold. Right now the Reapers are destroying us by inches. Conquering our homeworlds. Destroying fleets."

Sometime while he slept the cybernetics in his body had done their work. There was no weakness when the Spectre pushed himself up off the bed and placed his feet on the floor. In the reflection in the polarized glass of the medbay he could see the lines on his face, the bitter expression as he finally gave voice to the torrent of atrocities that had lived in his mind for three long years. Shepard had always told her that he dreamed of the prothean visions. Not of what they contained.

To her credit Tali didn't avoid his gaze when his eyes locked with hers.

"They haven't turned their attention to the galaxy as a whole. You haven't seen what happens when everything breaks down. Entire races turning on one another in desperation like cannibals. Some of them try to submit. They betray everything and welcome the Reapers hoping to save themselves with subservience only to be harvested just like everyone else. Others go completely mad. They make sacrifices on altars like the machines are some kind of dark gods. They kill their children, their friends, their lovers... all to save themselves. And every year it marches on. Worlds die and the Reapers warp people in new horrors to inflict upon the ones that are left."

He turned away and leaned on the nearby bed, head bowed. In every small movement and intake of breath Shepard had seen the slow dawning of understand in the quarian's body language. It wasn't something he wanted to watch sink in. But even then he didn't think she could really comprehend.

"The protheans held on for centuries. They left entire star systems to die screaming to save others. And it didn't matter. The sacrifice of billions of lives didn't do more than buy them a few more years. Javik's people were ruthless on a scale that even the batarians would be appalled by. So when you ask why it's my responsibility... because it has to be until I can't take it anymore. Because someday someone might have to stand at a cusp and make a choice that will condemn not just a world but an entire species to extinction."

A hand hesitantly rested on his shoulder as he tried to conceal the way his body shuddered at the memories.

"I'm sorry, John, I didn't know. You never told me."

"Because telling you wouldn't change the truth. It would just give you the same pain."

"Did you never think that maybe I wanted it? To be a part of all of your life, even the parts that hurt?" she whispered behind him.

Shepard could feel her movement behind him. Another hand touched his waist as the quarian drew herself closer. He could hear the sound of her veil rustling with each shift of her body and finally felt the warmth as she embraced him from behind. Visions swam in his head but he remained still. If he didn't turn and look at her maybe he could find a few, fleeting moments of comfort.

"Shepard. I apologize for the interruption but there is an emergency message from Urdnot Wrex," EDI's voice said over the intercom. Both of them jumped slightly, the AI's voice jarring after the near silence.

"Tell him... tell him I'll be right there."

Tali pulled away and she was looking at him with concern from the way she held her hands.

"Chakwas doesn't even want you to leave the medbay."

He shook his head.

"I'll be fine. Anything Wrex considers an emergency can't wait for a doctor's note. I just hope Tuchanka isn't under attack, this war doesn't need yet another front. We can... talk later."

"You can't keep running away, John," the quarian stated firmly.

Shepard stopped in his tracks, the echo of his dreams sending a fresh shiver down his spine. With what will he had left he mustered a soft smile for the woman that was trying her best to save him from an enemy she couldn't understand.

"I wouldn't even know what direction to run in."


Tali had never quite understood Shepard's obsession with hitting inanimate objects when he was angry. Until now that was. Now she suddenly found herself with a much clearer grasp on the concept after a frustrating and frightening evening, following by an only somewhat better morning. Unlike the object of both her affection and frustration, however, she lacked regenerative cybernetic implants that would let her heal up rapidly from punching the nearest bulkhead.

So instead she stood outside the medbay and watched the Spectre disappear into the elevator. There had been a brief moment when she felt like she had finally gotten past whatever wall the man had put up. At the very least the quarian had finally gotten him to admit something, even if it was just the severity of the visions that clearly plagued him, but for every bit of progress it felt like she was forced two steps back.

"You just want to hit him, don't you?"

Tali looked to her left in surprise to see Liara leaning against the bulkhead just outside her office.

Her relationship with the asari was an odd one. Aboard the original Normandy they'd been friendly, if only out of necessity. The only two of their species, both female and young by the standards of their cultures. She had been jealous of Liara's relationship with Shepard, followed by anger at the asari's sudden change in personality following Shepard's resurrection. And under it all was the current of uneasiness, the threat that Liara would always pose in her mind. She had been with Shepard before. Young, beautiful, and most importantly not trapped in a suit. It had only been after the events aboard the Shadow Broker's vessel that some of their old friendship had rekindled.

"Yes, stubborn the bosh'tet," she agreed, then cocked her head, frowning beneath her mask. "If you're thinking it too why haven't you said anything?"

The asari looked sadly in the direction Shepard had gone. "We'll always be friends, Tali. But I don't think I'll ever be as close to Shepard again as you and Garrus are. We've both changed too much."

"You'll always been part of the original crew, Liara. I think... for us that's as good as family. But right now it doesn't matter how close to him we are. He keeps pushing me away and I don't understand why. It's almost like he's... angry that I'm trying to to help him."

"Knowing Shepard, I doubt it's out of any kind of anger at you," Liara assured her, moving closer and resting a hand on the quarian's suited arm.

"Then what?" she complained. "You didn't see him last night, Liara. It was like he was arguing with himself. And then drugs. Chakwas said it was some kind of..."

"Etomidate. It's a general anesthetic. The more... chemically dependent have taken to using nano-infused time release dosages to put themselves under when their own biological systems have become unbalanced due to extreme drug abuse."

"You... you knew?"

"Shepard bought the drugs from one of my agents. He's normally resourceful but buying regulated substances was beyond his usual skill set. Rather than let him wander around and possible obtain something more dangerous I... arranged for him to meet a 'legitimate' supplier."

"How could you?" she hissed. "Not only knowing, but actually... encouraging it?"

"I didn't encourage anything," the scientist turned Shadow Broker countered immediately. "But if there is one thing I've learned since you two found me on Therum, it's that there are few perfect solutions."

Tali's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Then what would you call it, then? 'Medical assistance'?"

"You've been back aboard for a matter days, Tali. You haven't seen him sitting in the mess hall with a datapad, staring at it for minutes at a time without changing the page. Drinking energy drinks because his body processes coffee to quickly. Trying to do anything but sleep. I don't know what he sees when he sleeps but... the etomidate seemed the lesser evil."

Her anger faded immediately as the engineer was reminded of the conversation she'd just had, the things that Shepard had described seeing in his dreams. After the Normandy's destruction and Shepard's death she had woken with nightmares for weeks. The idea that Liara would arrange for Shepard to get his hands on something so dangerous still bothered her, but it was hard to argue in light of what she'd heard in Shepard's voice.

"The protheans..."

"What?"

She shakes her head. "I think that's what he sees. The visions the beacon gave him."

"I only saw flashes when I touched his mind aboard the old Normandy. Even those were... horrific. Full of fire and screams of the dying."

The two women stood in silence for a moment, deep in thought. It might explain the why, but it didn't offer a solution to fix the problem. No matter what she did Tali couldn't change what Shepard dreamt. Especially when it was difficult just to keep him alone in the same room. She looked to Liara and sighed.

"So what now then?"

"I don't know, Tali," Liara said with a shrug. "I've spent so much time watching, studying, and observing. First the protheans, now as the Broker. But it hasn't made the actual decision to act any easier. You'd think as the most powerful information broker in the galaxy I would have better advice. Instead I find myself as helpless as everyone else."

Tali was unable to suppress a giggle at the absurdity of their situation, earning herself a confused look from her asari companion. Holding up a hand she collected herself.

"I wasn't laughing at you. It's just ridiculous. Three years ago I was on my Pilgrimage and you were a young archaeologist," she explained. "Now you're the Shadow Broker and, Keelah, I'm an Admiral! But we still don't know what we're doing."

"When you say it like that... it is rather absurd isn't it?" Liara laughed and shook her head.

"It is. And it was either laugh at it or cry."

The asari squeezed her arm once more and looked to be about say more when EDI's voice interrupted their conversation.

"Doctor T'Soni, Tali. Shepard has requested all members of the ground team to report to the war room immediately."

"What's wrong, EDI?" she asked.

"Commander Shepard has requested that I allow him to explain the current situation."

The two looked at each other and moved for the elevator immediately. EDI had become the first place most of the crew went to for information about everything from the location of different crew members to the status of the current mission. Her ability to be everywhere at once aboard, being the ship itself, meant she heard everything first. It also meant that whatever was going on was serious enough that Shepard had given her specific orders not to disseminate that information. A dozen scenarios ran through Tali's head. It couldn't be the Fleet. She would have been alerted immediately. Another homeworld? The Citadel?

Unlike previously, the checkpoint between the war room and the rest of the ship was unmanned and the scanner remained inert. The pair entered the war room to find many of the crew already there. EDI's physical body was standing with perfect posture to one side while Javik leaned over the large display at the center of the room. Legion was watching everything from its place on the outer ring, the synthetic feeling no need for the close contact that organics gravitated towards. Shepard himself didn't seem to be present until she noticed the glowing red indicator on the door to the comm room.

A minute or so later the doors behind her opened to reveal Garrus and Kasumi. As always Garrus was in his armor, but Kasumi was wearing what could only be described as pajamas. Some kind of top and loose, flowing pants made of a very smooth looking material that the suit-bound quarian suspected would have felt amazing to touch. In some effort to maintain her image Kasumi had appropriated a jacket and pulled the hood up. For a moment Tali's worry abated, replaced by amusment as she moved closer to the thief.

"I did not realize humans were so... casual."

Kasumi stuck her tongue out in her direction. "EDI made it sound like an emergency so I didn't bother changing."

"Which doesn't really answer the question why you're wearing that at zero nine hundred hours in the morning," Garrus interjected, earning him a sour look from the thief.

"Some of us don't sleep in thirty pounds of armor and wake up to calibrate their damn gun at some inhumane hour of the morning."

"Zero nine hundred isn't 'inhumane'. It's called normal."

"Just be quiet or I'll put itching powder in that armor then you'll have to get out of it," the smaller woman shot back.

Garrus shook his head. "Let's be honest, you really just want to get me out of my armor. You can admit it. I'm used to the attention by now."

"You can only dream, Scars. Fornax wouldn't give you a job if you worked for free."

"Ouch. My pride. And really, back to Vega's nickname?"

"The others wouldn't stick. So that's the one you get."

"Maybe I should start calling you 'Sleepy'?"

She watched the the thief and former C-Sec officer with no small amusement. Apparently the pair had been working together a great deal more since rejoining the Normandy if the back and forth was any indication. It was made only more entertaining by the fact that the armored turian had a foot on the human, making the contrast all the more noticeable.

At last Kasumi turned away from the turian and addressed Tali.

"I'm ignoring him now. Do you know what's going on?"

The quarian shook her head. "No. EDI said that Shepard wanted to tell us himself and apparently he wanted to tell the entire team at once."

Vega entered last, making some comment in that very fluid language that wasn't loaded into her translator when he saw Kasumi's state of dress. She replied in kind and the soldier laughed. A few more minutes of silence passed and the room began to feel restless when the door to the comm room finally opened. Shepard exited and moved to the railing around the war room, looking at the assembled group.

"I asked you all to come because there is information that you need to hear from me directly. A few people in this room know what I'm about to tell you already. Outside that circle of trust only a few select members of the Alliance and the Council itself knows this information."

She glanced to her side and got a confused look from Garrus who could only shrug. At the railing Shepard looked down for a moment before pushing himself away and standing with his hands clasped behind him.

"During the original hunt for Saren we encountered a number of unique and dangerous situations. I made decisions that would have far reaching consequences," the Spectre explained. "One of those decisions took place on Noveria. In his madness Saren Arterius discovered a dormant rachni egg and tried to engineer an army from the resulting queen."

Tali's eyes widened and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Of all the things that had run through her memory that particular one had been missed. It felt like a lifetime ago that they had faced the scuttling creatures in the frozen halls of Noveria's Peak 15.

"The rachni?" Javik asked suddenly. "I have seen your records, they survived into this cycle, but were wiped out. We burned countless worlds in an attempt to exterminate them in my cycle."

"Everyone thought the same thing. The egg that Saren found was the last viable egg in existence, the very last rachni. The public was made aware, in a limited fashion, that a rogue agent had attempted to clone rachni warriors," Shepard said.

"The smaller creatures are feral without a queen to control them."

"So they learned. What the public was not made aware of was that the rachni were not clones. The scientists on Noveria hatched the egg that Saren found and raised a queen. When we defeated Saren's... agent at the facility the queen spoke to me. She asked that she be given a chance for her people to live again. I wasn't willing to condemn an entire species to extinction a second time and released her."

"Wait, you mean the bugs that the krogan got uplifted to fight in the first place are still around?" Vega asked.

Javik's voice almost drowned out the marine's question before he could finish asking it.

"You let the creatures live? Madness. The rachni were a threat even to my people at the height of our power. Among your own kind it took the most advanced species in your galaxy raising up a new warrior race to defeat them."

"The queen told me that the rachni of the past had been driven mad by something. A compulsion to lash out," the Spectre explained levelly. "Now I suspect it was the Reapers or one of their agents at work. Either way, it's irrelevant now. Sixteen hours ago this transmission was received from a krogan recon team."

The main display blinked on and for a moment there was only static. Then an image sprang to life, a krogan face staring into the imaging device while the sound of weapons fire echoed in the room.

This is Urdnot Charr, Recon Squad! We've found something here... it looks like something from the old stories! Tunnels and webs... we made something angry. Under heavy attack. The Reapers' creatures are here. We cannot hold. The rest of the company will hide the weapons and then face the enemy. I am uploading the transponder for the weapons cache... do not underestimate the creatures.

A grim smirk appeared on the krogan's lips and he looked over his shoulder for a moment. The warrior thumped his chest once.

"I will never see Tuchanka's dusty soil again, but I will defend it. I can only hope the seeds that I have planted flourish in its harsh sun. Glory to Clan Urdnot and glory to the krogan!"

The image continued to run, the sound of gunfire intensifying. Tali could hear krogan yelling orders, roars of pain and piercing screeches. Krogan warriors ran past the camera carrying heavy cases and the entire room took a breath as something with multiple legs scuttled into view. Its form was bloated and twisted, but the shape was unmistakable; a rachni warrior. Fire erupted from the barrels that were grafted where the long feelers should have been and the image froze.

"Aralakh company will be meeting us on the ground," Shepard said after a moment of silence. "These aren't just the rachni. That was Reaper technology. I don't think I need to explain what would happen if the Reapers had an entire rachni army twisted into more of these things."

"How do we know they don't already have one?" Garrus asked.

"Because if they did we'd likely have already seen it. Before their arrival Sovereign and Harbinger schemed and plotted. But now that they're here the Reapers as a whole have been anything but subtle. If they had a rachni horde to unleash, they would have done so already, even if only to counter the krogan on Palaven."

"In other words we're assuming they don't because if they do we're already screwed," Kasumi added dryly.

"I'm afraid so. This isn't going to be a quick in and out mission. When we encountered the rachni before they were feral and dangerous, now it looks as if at least some of them have been turned into some kind of husk creature," the Spectre said. "EDI, you wanted the chance to test out the combat capabilities of that platform? Here it is. We'll be in orbit of Utukku in eighteen hours."

"Time to squash some bugs," Vega said cheerfully.

From beside her Garrus rumbled in amusement.

"Bring a big boot, Vega. A really, really big boot."


"What's with the armor, Shepard?"

The Spectre pulled down his helm and snapped the seals into place. He shifted his arms experimentally, adjusting to the heavier weight before turning towards Garrus. Rather than the sleek prototype armor that he'd been gifted by Kasumi and Liara he was wearing a suit of heavy, layered Defender assault armor that was a completely uniform matte black. The design was often issued to N7 soldiers expected to encounter the heaviest resistance on the front lines.

"The other suit is..." he spared a look towards the other armor with its dented and patched appearance. "It's on its last legs. Once we return to the Citadel it'll need to spend some time at a proper armorer's."

"Does look like it's seen better days," the turian agreed.

"Haven't we all."

He lifted one of the pair of M-76 light machine guns off the wall and checked the thermal capacity. Somewhere between setting foot on Eden Prime and the first Reaper touching down on Earth, Shepard had stopped being just a sniper, which in this situation wasn't a terrible thing. Heading underground wasn't likely to present many opportunities for precision strikes. No, this was a far more messy situation; one that could have been prevented if he'd simply destroyed the rachni queen when he'd had the chance.

Garrus gestured at the heavy weapon. "That bad, huh?"

"You were at Peak 15. You know how dangerous the rachni were when they were just feral killers. Now they've been tampered with by the Reapers. Turned into weapons," Shepard said bitterly.

"I stood by your decision when you decided the save the queen, Shepard. I'm not changing my opinion now."

Apparently Garrus was thinking the same thing he was. He gave his turian friend a nod of thanks and tossed a Vindicator to him.

"Here, I seem to recall you being fond of these before."

"It's like telling an artist to use a spray can instead of a brush, but it'll do," the vigilante replied with a smirk.

Shepard grabbed the next weapon that was hanging on the wall just above the Revenants. One of the new designs that Hackett had been able to send their weapon before their supply lines had become too fragmented, the M-79 Typhoon was as large as a support machine gun could get and still be considered man portable. When they reached the rest of the waiting team he dropped the large gun into Vega's surprised hands.

"Stow your M-8 and grab an extra bandolier of thermals," he ordered.

The younger marine grinned as if he'd been told Christmas was coming twice this year. "Yes, sir."

"Load up."

The shuttles slipped from the Normandy's hangar a few minutes later. A nondescript brown planet spun below the orbiting frigates. Shepard had been surprised to find a turian frigate in system when they had arrived, only to learn that it had been assigned to transport the krogan's Aralakh company on orders from Primarch Victus. It seemed it took sentient, malevolent starships and the return of the rachni to make ancient enemies into allies.

As they made their way into the atmosphere, strong winds buffeted the shuttle. Their sensors had shown that the planet was technically a garden world, but only by the most generous definition. Ever present winds and temperatures that would fluctuate between scorchingly hot to far below freezing made it an unpleasant place. He could hear the winds howling even through the thick hull of the shuttle as they touched down.

"You always take us to the nicest places," Kasumi muttered, hopping down onto the coarse dirt.

"Battlemaster! Ha ha!"

Shepard looked up to see Grunt jogged towards them, nearly two dozen krogan in full armor standing behind him. He greeted the massive krogan with a firm hand clasp.

"Grunt. Didn't expect to find you here."

The tank-bred krogan shrugged. "Someone had to run Aralakh company. These lot think they're invincible. Tough, but reckless."

"Sounds familiar," Tali added.

"Ah! The small quarian with the big attitude, come to fight again," Grunt laughed. "Good, this is starting to feel like old times already."

"Old times didn't include the rachni, Grunt. If they're under Reaper control... we have to make sure that this ends on this planet."

Grunt gestured at the krogan soldiers.

"I understand, Battlemaster. The rest of Aralakh company is already on the move. Teams Two and Three are locating the heavy weapon caches left behind by the recon team. I decided to wait until you arrived to head into the main entrance. But the rachni... a chance to face the old enemy? Impossible to resist."

"You should not be so eager to face the rachni, young krogan," Javik said. "They were formidable opponents. Even to my people."

"Who in the hell are you?"

"The one who took your place aboard the Normandy. You are the one that occupied my quarters... full of energy and rage."

"What in the hell is he talking about, Shepard?" Grunt asked, looking at the prothean carefully. "That's the... prothean Wrex was talking about?"

"Long story, Grunt, and we don't have the time. What about these scouts? Any survivors?"

"None. Come on, you can see for yourself."

The assembled krogan made a few grunts and growls at the mismatched band that joined them, but any dissension was silenced by a single look from Grunt. The Spectre suspected that the younger krogan had been forced to crack more than a few skulls before they'd accepted his command, but it looked like they had learned that lesson already. It didn't take long for them to reach what remained of the recon team's camp.

Camp might have been a strong word. A single prefab building was all that remained, marred by scorch marks and dried blood. Random pieces of debris were scattered everywhere but there were no bodies to be found. The edge of the area where the recon team had established their base of operations terminated in a steep drop, one that obviously hadn't been there when the team had arrived judging from the collection of wreckage at the bottom of the hole.

"Burrowers. The rachni were quite adept at laying traps in my time," Javik observed. "Swarms of the workers were capable of undermining the foundations of a road or building within minutes."

"But where are the krogan?" Kasumi asked.

"Hypothesis: rachni data would indicate that the creatures are omnivorous. It is possible the fallen were taken as a possible food source," Legion suggested.

The thief made a disgusted sound.

"EDI, can you get anything from the computers in the prefab?" Shepard asked.

"If there are active terminals I might be able to search for any relevant data."

"Let's see what we can find. I'd rather find out more about these things before we go charging into them."

While the others searched the area for anything of use, Shepard and EDI entered the remaining building. The inside was in no better shape. More dried blood coated numerous surfaces and there were noticeable places where the polymer and metal walls had been melted. EDI's visor glowed as she scanned for any active power sources.

"Shepard, there's nothing giving off so much as a single watt of power outside. Every single piece of equipment has been melted, bashed, or blasted," Liara said from behind him.

Tali's voice followed after. "Definitely intentional. Even vorcha couldn't wreck some of these electronics this badly by accident."

The pair were looking forlornly down at the edge of the prefab where the rest of the camp had fallen. He sighed internally. So much for trying to find out exactly what they were up against. Still, it had been worth the chance.

"Tali and Dr. T'soni's assessment holds true here as well. I am detecting no active power sources within the building," EDI agreed, moving to the edge and looking down into the sinkhole. "I am not registering any active power sources below either. There is a ninety eight per-"

The synthetic's calculation was cut off suddenly as the metal floor moved beneath their feet and cries of alarm were heard from outside. He could already feel the entire building beginning to list, the shaking floor causing them all to stumble and grab onto the walls.

"Jump, EDI!" Shepard barked as the building pitched to the side.

With a surge that made even his enhanced muscles burn Shepard threw himself against gravity and the bucking pre-fab to tackle both Tali and Liara out of the building. All three hit the dirt walls of the sink hole hard, various grunts and hissed curses of pain mixing together with the rumbling of the ground. He tumbled and slid down the embankment even as the building finally fell crashing down after them, narrowly missing them as it slammed into the ground below.

"Everyone-" he paused, coughing up a throat full of dust before continuing. "Is everyone okay?"

"Did you really need to throw us out of the building into the hole we were already falling into?" Tali groaned.

EDI emerged from the dust with perfect poise. A small collapse and jump into a hole in the ground weren't enough to interfere with the AI's calm it seemed. Now that they were down here, Shepard could see holes in the walls that looked to lead underground.

"Shepard was attempting to prevent the possibility of injury due to the forces within the building, should it have collapsed completely. The chance of significant internal damage was far less simply rolling down the side of the hole, if... less dignified."

"I'll trade a little dignity for fewer broken bones," Liara said, dusting herself off. "What about the others? We're not being attacked by anything down here and I don't hear weapons fire."

Overhead Grunt's familiar voice bellowed.

"Shepard! In one piece?"

He tapped his omni-tool and opened his comm.

"We're fine, just some bruises and dirt. But from looking at these walls we're not going to be climbing back up. I've got tunnels down here. It looks like we're splitting up."

"Scans showed that the tunnels led to a central chamber underground. We'll meet you there!"

"Copy that," Shepard said, tabbing over to the squad channel. "Garrus, back up Grunt's team. We'll all meet in the middle. Until otherwise Garrus is in charge up there, got it people?"

A chorus of agreement answered him. Satisfied, he pulled the rifle from his back and activated it, the faint whir as it extended somewhat comforting in their present circumstances. Going into the tunnels with only a four-person team wasn't exactly what he had planned. He frowned and nodded toward the nearest opening.

"Okay, I'll take point. EDI, you're bringing up the rear. Try to keep us headed in the right direction as best you can. If we encounter resistance, watch your flanks and stay mobile. We don't know what the Reapers might have done to them, but the rachni on Noveria were dangerous enough."

The three nodded, drawing their own weapons. Both Liara and EDI carried submachine guns which would help provide a good volume of fire. Tali's usual shotgun would provide a heavy blow if a warrior got in close. The memory of the sharp talons on the tips of the rachni's tentacles made his entire body tense whenever he thought of the considerably lighter armor worn by his team. He could only hope that EDI's metallic skin was more durable than its appearance would suggest.

After the first few hundred yards the tunnel was almost pitch black, forcing them to activate various light sources before continuing forward. Once they moved deeper, it became apparent that the tunnels were interlaced with natural caverns, some filled with small pools of water and faintly glowing lichen. The patches of fungus were the first living things seen since setting foot on the planet, excepting the krogan and his team.

"Shepard, here," Liara said quietly, pointing her light at a slumped over form.

EDI crouched next to the motionless body. "Krogan, dead approximately one day. Suffering from numerous acid burns and puncture wounds."

"But his gear hasn't been destroyed like everything above. He must have run down here after he was wounded and his regeneration just wasn't enough," Tali noted sadly.

"Maybe it wasn't in vain, though..." he muttered, rolling the dead krogan aside to reveal the weapon that the warrior had collapsed on. "Knew I recognized that."

"What in the goddess' name is that?"

Shepard collapsed his rifle and stowed it once more, lifting the krogan's weapon and checking the fuel cells. A full canister. It made him wonder if the scout had intentionally brought the weapon with him in the hopes that someone would find it. Whether it was intention or circumstance, though, the Spectre wasn't going to complain.

"M-451. Mercenaries call it the 'Firestorm'."

"A flamethrower? Those have been illegal in Council space for centuries," the asari said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the krogan have them."

"We should be glad they did. Something tells me we're going to need it."

As they moved deeper Shepard activated the flamethrower, the tiny ignition light wavering at the front of the gun. The tunnels continued to lead them deeper underground but revealed no new clues or even hostile rachni. After nearly ten minutes of walking he saw the first sign of something strange.

"Is that... webbing?" Tali asked hesitantly.

EDI reached out and touched one of the thick strands that blocked their way forward.

"Correct, though it is non-adhesive. It is likely used as a method of defining the borders of the rachni's nest and restricting traffic."

"Stand back," he said.

A brief caress of the weapon's trigger caused a three meter long gout of flame to shoot from its barrel, quickly engulfing the network of webbing. The substance caught easily and turned to mere ash in seconds. He stepped through the opening and scanned the area ahead. Seeing no movement he motioned the others forward. As the Spectre panned the light around the room, however, he did notice dozens of small pods.

"Eggs?" Liara suggested.

"They're definitely eggs... but look."

Shepard knelt on the stone and played the light across the nearest foot-high orb. It was sickly gray in color and under the damp looking outer shell tiny blue lines could be seen that trailed down into the ground the egg rested on. He shook his head sadly.

"The Reapers have grafted technology directly into the egg... possibly to control the offspring directly and avoid the failures of the scientists on Noveria," EDI concluded.

"It looks like it..."

He lifted his foot, causing Tali's head to whip around in his direction.

"Shepard, what are you-"

With a vicious kick he cracked the egg open. The outer shell burst more like a ripened fruit than anything and sticky fluid covered his boot. From within forms immediately began to writhe and seconds later half a dozen small, many-legged things burst from the goo. The first he simply stepped on, already seeing soulless blue glow of husk-like modifications grafted into the small things body. The others scattered, one headed Tali's direction.

"S-Spiders! Spiders spiders spiders!" the quarian yelped, actually turning her shotgun on the racing creature and obliterating it in a single blast.

The frightened quarian danced across the stone floor of the cave until her back was pressed against his. He could hear her heavy breathing, feel it even through the thick armor he wore. For their parts, EDI and Liara simply stared in bewilderment.

"You're... afraid of spiders?" he asked.

"I didn't even know what spiders were until I booked passage on a human ship!" Tali growled angrily, but didn't move from her position.

For a second they weren't at war with an unbeatable enemy. Saren's voice didn't echo in his head and the headache didn't pound behind his eyelids. Shepard actually laughed.

"D-Don't laugh at me! They're small and... and they scuttle!"

"Oh Tali," Liara giggled, earning herself a sharp look from the silver eyed woman.

EDI cocked her head. "I do not understand the humor in Tali's repulsion to arachnids. Though, should we encounter larger rachni, such a reaction could be detrimental."

"The big ones don't bother me. Just the small ones, with their little feet... just scuttling... getting everywhere," the quarian said with a shiver.

Once his shoulders stopped shaking, Shepard turned and patted the engineer's arm reassuringly.

"I'll protect you from the evil spiders, Tali."

He could hear the smile in Tali's voice when she responded. A teasing note now that her nerves were under control and undertones of something more.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

To punctuate his statement the Spectre turned back toward the clutch of remaining eggs. In one smooth motion, he depressed the flamethrower's trigger and swept the resulting stream of fire across them all. There was a faint screeching sound and then simply silence. These were rachni the Reapers wouldn't be using against anyone.

"Come on. If we find more I'll torch them too."


"That is not a spider. Its is just disgusting," Tali stated calmly.

The quarian's shotgun barked once more and the wobbling creature in front of her collapsed lifelessly. To someone that had seen a rachni warrior before, it was identifiable as such, but only just. Its form was bloated with fleshy sacks and lined with cybernetic implants. Instead of two long tentacles, a pair of hard-hitting long range guns had been mounted directly into the rachni's body much like the Cannibals they had encountered previously.

Liara nodded. "I think anyone would agree. The rachni are different, as different from the rest of the Council races as the hanar are, but I can't help but feel some sympathy. To be twisted so horribly..."

The flamethrower finally sputtered out as he burned the last of the eggs in the large cavern and Shepard tossed the now useless weapon aside. He pulled the rifle from his back once more and looked at the dead abomination sadly.

"This is what the Reapers do. They corrupt and destroy... I'm starting to wonder if killing the queen back on Noveria wouldn't have been kinder after seeing what they've done to these things."

Cruel the way only a machine can be.

The thought hit him like an icepick to the temple. Garrus' face warped in the same way, an unholy amalgam of flesh and steel. He gritted his teeth and shook his head fiercely, pushing the image down and trying to ignore the pain. He couldn't spend time thinking about what might happen, not while they were in the bowels of a rachni hive. Tali looked at him with concern evident in her stance.

"Shepard? Are you-"

Static burst over the comms and cut the quarian off.

"Shepard, do - copy?"

He tapped the side of his helmet. "I hear you, Garrus, but you're cutting in and out. Lots of static."

"Almost to - central nest. Lots of - and smaller rachni, few - husks."

"We're on our way. Meet us in the middle!"

The moved quickly now, keeping a careful eye on the tunnels as they passed; but the bulk of their opposition had already been eliminated. Multiple teams entering the network of tunnels at different points were likely taxing the hive's ability to defend itself. Ahead Shepard saw the first wholly artificial item since entering the tunnels: a massive door. Standing next to it were a pair of familiar forms.

"Garrus, Grunt. Where's the rest of the team?" he demanded.

"One level up, they've got a choke point to keep the damn things from coming in behind us," the turian responded immediately.

Grunt nodded his large head. "And the rest of Aralakh company is holding the tunnel just below us."

"Alright... Garrus, head back up and keep that tunnel secure. I'll take Grunt with me. Something tells me we found what we're looking for," the Spectre said, gesturing towards the door.

"On it, Boss. Good luck."

EDI and Tali were already hard at work on the door controls. Without needing to issue orders, Grunt took up a position opposite his own at the side of the door. The krogan still carried the same massive shotgun that he'd acquired for him when the tank-bred had been part of his crew. He looked between the four members of his team.

"You've all seen what the Reapers have done to the rachni. Whatever we find behind that door... we can't let it continue. That's our mission objective. Because if we don't stop this here then these monsters will be crawling across every world."

"Nothing will stop us, Battlemaster," Grunt assured him.

"We have accessed the door controls," EDI interrupted. "Odd. The primary locking mechanisms are located on this side of the door. Only minimal security firewalls are maintained to prevent entry from this side."

"Then let's end this. Hit it."

With an ominous thunk, the massive door dropped into the ground and they were immediately assaulted by a dozen husks. The gun in his hands beat out a staccato rhythm, followed by the heavier bass roar of Grunt's shotgun. Only a few of the shambling creatures survived the initial barrage and those were dispatched by Liara's biotics in short order.

The chamber within was enormous, the ceiling above extending into darkness in the dim illumination of the lichen that covered large portions of the walls. More of the Reaper's creations awaited them, a volley of fire from one of the altered rachni blasting chunks out of the wall over their heads. Shepard dropped to one knee and braced the machine gun against his shoulder before letting loose a long burst of fire. The bullets burst the fleshy sack that distorted the rachni's chest and dug into its body, the creature giving off a pained screech before collapsing.

"Watch for the small ones!" he barked.

Tali extended her hand and the bright light of her drone appeared a few feet away, instantly sending an arc of electricity through a dozen of the smaller workers.

"On it."

Precision fire from EDI certainly proved that her new platform was more than combat capable. Each burst from her submachine gun was carefully placed, taking out the nearest husks first before firing into the legs of more distant ones to slow their advance. Combined with Liara's powerful biotic fields, the husks never had a chance of closing the gap.

Grunt charged straight into another of the mutated rachni, knocking it upwards and unloading his shotgun into its underbelly. The creature practically disintegrated before their eyes and then the brief storm of violence was over. He had been expecting stronger resistance. The Spectre moved deeper into the cavern before he stopped abruptly.

Sings-of-Endings.

The words were in his head. But it didn't have the nails on a chalkboard feeling that had accompanied the guttural urges that had driven him to throw Tali out of his quarters nor the booming command of the Reaper intelligence he'd encountered within the geth collective. No, it echoed through his head like a dozen voices sung in perfect harmony. Powerful, yet different. Shepard looked up, the gasps of his companions echoing his own surprise.

On Noveria he had seen the rachni queen in her confined cell, trapped behind smoky glass and pleading for not just her own life, but for the life of her species. Now he saw a rachni queen fully grown, though still confined. Her massive body was shackled to smooth gray machines but it didn't entirely hamper her majesty. The rachni's chitinous plates shimmered with blues and greens and an inner glow seemed to come from within her body. Eyes that glimmered with keen intelligence were fixated on him.

Many white-hope songs we have sung in hope for your return.

Words in his mind once more, tinged with emotions far more layered than just what one would her in someone's voice when they spoke. Elation. Fear. Relief.

"You're speaking to me... directly? I can hear you in my head..." he asked hesitantly.

We sing our songs without needing another to make our melodies heard. This is the way of a true queen. When you found us singing black songs of fear and isolation we were young. The gift of life has allowed us to grow. We sing to you now as Hope-Singer, the one to whom you gave the gift of freedom and life.

He looked to his left and right, seeing an expression of amazement even on Grunt's face. The only exception was EDI. She looked between each of the squad in turn and back to the rachni that towered over head. Her voice was as calm as ever but with a clear note of concern.

"Shepard, is there a problem?"

Tali looked over at the synthetic, voice quietly awed. "Can't you hear her?"

The metal worker has no song of her own, she cannot embrace our melody. We are sorry, Sings-of-Endings.

"I don't understand. What do you mean... Sings-of-Endings?"

The rachni's large head focused on him, eyes like sapphires the size of his fist seemed to stare into his soul.

You are Sings-of-Endings. You are the one who ends all things.


Okay, so I wasn't able to kick this out before I left since I wasn't sure if I was happy with it.

My thanks to Myetel and her amazingly detailed story Spirit of Redemption from whom I am borrowing (with her permission) many bits of rachni history, physiology, psychology, and culture from. I had always intended for the rachni to become involved with Razor's Edge and had some ideas of my own only to find that she had done an amazing job of fleshing them out as a true sentient species. Check out her work at s/6735812/1/The_Spirit_of_Redemption