(A/N As usual, much thanks to Grae for being an awesome beta. This chapter sparked off a lot of discussion behind the scenes, about where to take the characters and romance plot (when it turns up, anyway); I hope it all pays off and I do Kanji and Naoto justice! But until then, enjoy and leave a review :) )

Chapter 6

16th June 2011

Kanji was excited about the upcoming camping trip, despite his attendance being mandatory and being downright threatened with being held back a year if he didn't turn up. That pissed him off; he'd been making more of an effort to go to classes recently. His mother was delighted with his apparent new-found appreciation of school; he didn't have the heart to tell her it was for the sole reason of being in regular contact with Yu-senpai and the others. In fact, he was trying to stay clear of her, especially after how he reacted when he thought she had been rushed to hospital. It was silly to look back on now, but it had shaken him something horrible. It brought back a lot of bad memories about his dad, how suddenly he had passed away.

Kanji often debated whether forcing himself to go to school was worth it; whilst hanging out with his new friends was freakin' awesome, the shit he had to put up with every day was starting to wear him down. There was no indication of anyone else about to appear on the midnight channel, so everyone was still fixated on him and what they thought they saw.

The rumours around school were oddly inconsistent; a weird mix of him being a delinquent thug in a biker gang, and being effeminately gay and having a boyfriend. The former was what he was used to; it got him shit with the teachers but also caused Yu-senpai to come and have a quiet word about him allegedly bullying people. The latter meant that every day he heard stupid comments and people staring at him like he was some sort of freak.

It had gotten to the point where they were pushin' their luck, too. Ando and his cronies were the worst, apparently having singled him out as a target. The pricks were often waiting for him between classes in order to try and humiliate him, or make him lose his temper. They seemed to know that they could provoke him and he couldn't do nothin' about it without getting his ass hauled to detention. He thought about mentioning it to Yu-senpai, but it was too much hassle. This was his problem; as bad as it was, he could take care of it himself.

Maybe it was because the guy was from the city, but there was something different about Yu-senpai. He wasn't like anyone Kanji had met before. He was hella smart, and he just seemed to get him. He didn't mock him when he panicked at his Ma going to hospital, or when he agreed to help that kid out.

Hanging out with the team was kinda fun, and almost made up for all of that crap at school. Kanji's kidnap had ruined their current theory as to who was targeted next. To make up for it he'd shown them the book he'd confiscated from that kid in the canteen, and they came to the same conclusion he did; the numbers next to their names were dates, specifically the dates of their TV appearances. Everyone who had been thrown into the TV world had appeared on TV before their kidnap. Yu had also pointed out that people first appeared on the midnight channel before they were kidnapped; the blurry image could be enough to rescue someone before they got thrown in.

He'd kept an eye out for his senpai after school, as usual, but he didn't see them. It was a bit awkward catching them sometimes as he was in the year below; they were probably getting some last minute shopping done for the trip tomorrow. They were expected to cook their own meals, after all, and if his previous conversations with Yosuke were anything to go by, they were likely unprepared. Seriously, how could the guy not have packed yet? He was all sorted; he'd made sure that he had enough supplies of animal crackers too.

He'd tried to keep an eye out for Naoto as he made his way home, but the kid just wasn't around. He didn't attend his school, and despite Kanji living in the middle of the shopping district, he had never seen him in town. It was disappointing. He didn't know what he'd say to him if he did run into him again, and even just thinking about it made his heart beat a little faster, but he still wanted to see him and talk to him. Just, hang out and stuff.

Kanji felt that he had been denying something important. It had been bothering him ever since he'd been rescued from the bathhouse and he'd been trying to ignore it. Ever since he had met Naoto he had not been able to get him out of his head. His idle thoughts had been nagging him a lot lately. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure that his conclusion was painfully correct. This is what the guys at school said felt like when they were lovesick with a girl, wasn't it? He didnt expect the realisation to hit him as hard as it did. His shadow had been right. He liked guys, didn't he?

All of the questioning he had done, all of the thoughts he had pushed aside to deal with later. He had a feeling he had known all along. He was just admitting it to himself. No, no there had to be something else. Like, ok, he had a crush. He had a crush on Naoto. He would admit that. He had admitted that. He'd thought about it a lot when he was in that bathhouse. He had never been into girls. Even when the boys around him were starting to get interested in them, he just… didn't. Yukiko-senpai was beautiful, anyone with fucking eyes could see that, but unlike half the school he wasn't interested in her. Not like some of the guys who fawned after her and daydreamed about passing the "Amagi challenge."

Kanji thought to what had happened in the bathhouse. The other him was him; he knew that, and had begrudgingly accepted it even though the way that guy had spoken and acted had irritated the hell out of him. His shadow had been exaggerated as hell. But a lot of what that guy had said, well, these were things that he had thought about. Things he had tried to hide by looking and acting tough. Everything that guy had said and stood for; that was him too. But, he was him.

There was still something not quite sitting right. It was all a mess. How he felt, what he did, how other people saw him. Everything was mixed together in a tangled web and it was getting harder and harder to separate everything in his head.

His hobbies weren't "boy's hobbies." He liked cooking and sewing and that hadn't exactly made him popular at school, even as a kid, because "boys don't do that." That is why he changed himself after dad died, right? His father told him to be a man, so he had to become manly to mask what he truly enjoyed. Men didn't sew. Men didn't cook.

So he changed himself to be manly. It would be a lie to say that he didn't like some of his facade. He liked his look. He liked bleaching his hair, skulls were really cool, and he had enjoyed adapting his clothes to make them look as badass as they did. It was a costume, a front, but hell, he enjoyed it sometimes. Looking that way made people scared of him, and if they were scared of him that meant that they weren't makin' fun of him. It wasn't ideal; until Yu and his friends came along he'd been pretty lonely, but it was better than the alternative.

Being into men wasn't manly; being gay meant that you were effeminate and lisping, right? Everything his shadow had been. Having feminine hobbies like cooking and sewing meant that he was unmanly as a result. But his entire manner, his dress and attitude; they were manly. He was still a man. Even though he was into guys, he was still manly.

Right?


17th June 2011

The day hadn't gone as badly as he'd anticipated. Despite being largely without teacher supervision, Ando and his friends didn't seem to want to try their luck whilst they were on the side of the mountain. Plus, he'd enjoyed being out in the open air; it was so much cooler up there than down in the town, and the summer was fast approaching. The views were awesome.

Kanji sat down inside Yu and Yosuke's tent. They were in mid conversation, so he waited patiently for them to finish. They apparently hadn't had any dinner; who knew that Chie and Yukiko-senpai were such terrible cooks? If they'd have asked, he'd have cooked something for them. Kanji knew his way around the kitchen, and even camping he had managed to put together a half decent kare-raisu.

"And how the hell did you end up here?" Yosuke asked him, sounding annoyed. So he was the type to get irritated when he hadn't eaten, huh. Kanji shrugged.

"My teach threatened to hold me back a year if I didn't show. And my tent is all quiet, like someone died." Well, it hadn't been initially. There were some snide comments from the two guys he'd been made to pitch with, but it turns out those dickheads aren't as macho when in such a confined space.

"Well, if you were in there with 'em, I'm not surprised…" Yosuke said. He was joking, but Kanji couldn't help thinking: asshole. Like he knew what it was like. He decided not to comment. There was supposed to be another guy in here, but he had apparently called in sick.

"Is it okay if I hang out here?" Yosuke opened his mouth to comment but Kanji quickly cut him off. "Don't worry; I won't make any trouble for you. They won't catch me unless we raise a ruckus." It was preferable, being with people he knew and trusted, to being in a tent with a coupla guys who looked terrified all the time. Heh, I showed them. They'll not call me a fag again any time soon. Yosuke sighed and gestured to a suspiciously bumpy section of the tent.

"Alright, alright. You can sleep over there." Kanji shot Yosuke an unimpressed look.

"Dude, there's a huge rock under there. How'm I supposed to sleep? It's gonna hurt like hell."

"Pipe down… Didn't you say you weren't going to make any noise?" Kanji scowled and reluctantly shuffled over to the area. His groundsheet did little to mask the hard edges of the rocks; he couldn't lie on them and sitting there was painful. He shifted away from the worst of the bumps, tossing and turning, trying to find a section of the ground which was rock free. There wasn't much of it, and Kanji was a tall guy. He was already practically lying on Yu's groundsheet rather than his own as it was. He sat up, exasperated, and looked over to Yosuke.

"Yo, Senpai, can't you go just a little further back?" Yosuke shook his head.

"Nope. There's a slope just past here. I'd roll down the hill in my sleep. If you don't like it here, go back to the first-year tent." There was an uncomfortable silence. Who the hell had pitched this thing? He tried again for a few moments, shuffling to get comfortable, lying on his side briefly before sitting up again. This wasn't working.

"Hey… wasn't your teacher some guy called King Moron? That guy stopped me outside earlier, and he pissed me off so bad I was about to lose it." It wasn't his fault either. That prick could make anyone lose their temper. "He was going on and on about when I was in middle school, when he doesn't know shit about any of that. Not only that, he was bullshitting about how I'll be expelled immediately if I cause trouble. That ain't funny, man." It has been bothering him ever since he'd run into the asshole. He'd already said that he wouldn't fight at school any more, hell, he was even putting up with Ando and those dickheads rather than showing them who they were messing with. And in any case, most of what was happening wasn't his fault. He just wanted people to stop giving him shit.

"Yeah, that guy's set a speed record for jumping to conclusions." Yosuke said, sitting up to face him. Yu did the same. Kanji scowled. It was probably a good thing he hadn't heard the most recent rumours about him, then. He'd probably be worse than Ando.

Mr Morooka. Everyone seemed to hate that son of a bitch. Kanji had him constantly breathing down his neck, threatening him with exclusion; Yosuke said that he'd been exactly the same with him when he first moved to Inaba last year. There were also rumours that he had been bad mouthing the two women who had died, saying that 'It's no surprise that people who are unfaithful or run away from home meet a bad end'. Yosuke was visibly upset when he heard that, though consoled himself by eating Kanji's animal crackers. Kanji was annoyed; he was looking forward to those.

Eventually the conversation died down and they tried again to go to sleep. Kanji got as close to Yu as he dared, trying in vain to find an area comfortable enough to sleep. Yosuke was having a similar problem to Kanji in that his space was no more suitable for lying on; he was practically lying on Yu's groundsheet from the other side in an attempt not to roll down the was an awkward silence; Yosuke seemed to have something on his mind.

" Kanji…Why'd you come to this tent?" Kanji blinked slowly, confused. Hadn't he already said why?

"Huh? I already told you. Geez." He had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Something was wrong. He sat up. "What's wrong with you?" Yosuke was hesitating.

"This is as good a time as any, so… I-I want you to be honest with us."

"Uh… okay?" he had been honest; why did Yosuke think he hadn't? Hell, these guys had seen some pretty private stuff about him, he didn't really have anything to hide anyway.

"Are you really… you know…?"

"Am I really what." It wasn't a question; he was daring Yosuke to continue with that line of thought. He couldn't help his voice hardening, lowering in anger. Yosuke didn't seem to heed the warning, and continued.

"What I mean is, uh… are we going to be safe with you?"

"What-!? Wh-Wh-What the hell's that supposed to mean!?" He felt a familiar surge of anger begin to swell in his chest and his cheeks go red. The actual fuck? What, he heard the rumours that I'm gay and his first thought is that I'm gonna fucking rape him? Kanji felt betrayed; Yosuke was supposed to be his friend. "I already told you guys; I'm not like that!" he snapped, sitting up sharply, his shoulders tense.

"W-Well then why are you all hot and bothered about it!? That's just more suspicious!" Yosuke sat up too, facing him in the dark. He was raising his voice as well, indignant and defensive. Kanji shook his head, feel himself tremble with pent up rage.

"Hell no! We settled this already, dammit! Right now, I'm…" He faltered, tripping over his words. "Well… How do I put it…?" He tried desperately to find an explanation, to try and put into words just what he had been tryin' to work out for himself over the past however many days, weeks. He couldn't think straight. He was too angry.

His mind was racing. He wanted to say that he wasn't sure, that he didn't think he was gay because of what being gay kinda entailed, but he might be because he liked one particular person who happened to be a guy. But he didn't think he was because he sure as hell wasn't effeminate like the other him was. But the other him was him. He knew that. He decided against it; that wasn't the sort of thing Yosuke would want to hear right now, right? If he made any sort of admission that he might like men, he would freak the fuck out.

"Oh God, don't train off like that! You're freaking me out!"

"I'm trying to tell you that I have no problem being around girls now!" Yeah, that was a good angle to go from. Plus it was kind of true. Though the ones giving him shit at school were fucking awful.

"Can you prove it!? 'Cause if you can't, we're gonna be stuck here all night, half scared to death." Kanji felt hurt. It was painful to hear. These guys were supposed to be his friends; every since they rescued him from the sauna he had always expressed his gratitude, he trusted them. For the first time, felt part of something. Fucking Hanamura was ruining that. Kanji stood up and grabbed his tracksuit jacket.

"To hell with this. If that's what you really think of me, then I'm gonna go hit the girls' tent right now!" Yosuke's expression changed; even in the dark Kanji saw that it had shifted to surprise. He didn't care. He was already at the tent entrance.

"Huh? Wait, well that's a little extreme! You don't have to go that far! They'll expel you if they find you!"

"Yeah? Like that'd stop a man like me!" Kanji wasn't afraid of jerks like Morooka. Or Yosuke. If this is what he had to do to prove himself then he would. He was just so pissed off. Yosuke muttered to himself, turning to Yu, his eyes wide and panicked.

"Hey man, you gotta stop him!" Yu sat up, and tried to placate him.

"Y'think I'm gonna put up with this crap!? I'll show you guys! To hell with King Moron! No one's stopping Kanji Tatsumi, dammit!" Kanji pulled the tent door open with a flourish and stormed out, letting out an angry growl.

"Uh, hey! Wait!" Yosuke shouted after him but it was too late; he was already out of the tent. He stormed over to where he knew the girls were camped. He didn't know what he was going to do when he got there, but Chie and Yukiko-senpai; they would understand, right?


18th June 2011

Stupid fucking Hanamura. He'd been looking forward to the camping trip, and that prick had gone and ruined it. First that entire bullshit in the tents, then being an asshole by the river. This is why he didn't like dudes like him.

The entire thing had been a mess. He didn't remember the latter end of yesterday's evening very well; after storming out of the tent in a fit of rage everything got a little blurry. He'd awoken in Yu's tent the next morning with a splitting headache, a stiff back and in a foul mood. It turns out he did end up sleeping on the lumpy bits after all.

The day hadn't improved after Hanamura suggested going to the river. They had stood on the edge of an outcrop over a spring pool for ages, debating whether to swim or not. The girls obviously didn't want to go into the water, and kanji was way too stiff to swim after such a terrible night's sleep. He didn't even bother changing into his swim shorts when Yu and Hanamura did. Hanamura was pretty insistent with Yukiko-senpai and Chie though, and had coerced them into changing. Kanji had no idea why they "owed" Hanamura anything, and the girls were very tight lipped on the subject.

As much as the guy was pissing him off, he had to admit that Yukiko-senpai had looked… cute… in her swimsuit. Seeing her like that had made him pause for thought. She was going to be very beautiful when she got older. She didn't make him feel the way Naoto did, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't appreciate what he saw. Hell knows what that meant. Was he getting interested in girls...? But if he was, would that change how he felt about Naoto? Huh.

There was a certain satisfaction in watching Hanamura getting shoved into the icy water for being a dick, but even that was short lived when he was also pushed in. He still didn't know why Chie-senpai had blamed him as well. He didn't do nothing. It was all Hanamura's fault.

Still, it was all over with and they were finally back in Inaba. Chie and Yukiko-senpai hadn't been in a conversational mood on the journey back, though they were quite happy to talk amongst themselves, and Hanamura had been sulking. Kanji noticed that Mr Morooka was looking worse for wear, his face pale; he looked about to be ill every time the train jolted over the tracks.

Once back in town, Kanji parted ways with them pretty quickly and headed home. He kept an eye out for Naoto, but as usual he didn't spot him.