Chapter Eleven-
Beca was shockingly nervous about her date with Chloe. While she had gone out with Chloe before, many times, she always felt nervous before dates with Chloe. In Beca's mind, Chloe was beautiful and perfect, Beca worried how long it would take before she realized what a mess she was with.
Beca sorted through her closet, settling on a black Coke shirt, dark skinny jeans, and a red flannel shirt to go over it. Her scars were barely covered by the flannel and she was worried what she was going to do when it got too hot to wear long sleeves. Beca tossed on some make-up before checking her watch. 6:20, she still had about forty minutes before Chloe picked her up. Beca ran over to her laptop and pulled up Facebook. She scrolled through about five selfies before a status caught her eye.
Ashely Michaels is now engaged to Logan Andrews
Beca stared at the status for a second before clicking on Ashely's page. She immediately regretted this decision. Covering Ashely's page was picture of her and her longtime boyfriend Logan Andrews. This wasn't new; they had been dating since sophomore year, and Beca really had no reason to be upset, she hadn't talked to Ashely since the last day of her senior year when she finally told Ashely how she felt…when Ashely was disgusted by her…
Beca shut her laptop and looked in the mirror. It was no surprise Ashely didn't love her. Would anyone love her? Chloe seemed to now, but how long would that last? Everyone who had ever loved her left her.
"No, I'm not fucking doing this." Beca reassured herself. "I quit. I'm not doing this." Beca, out of habit, started searching for the box cutter, only to remember that Chloe had taken it.
"I'm fine…I'm fine…" Beca muttered to herself. Beca could feel herself sweating and started hugging herself. She didn't understand why she was getting so upset over this, she had gotten over Ashely a long time ago, she was with Chloe.
Instinctively, Beca started scratching at some of her scars. Beca started bleeding, fascinating Beca. She felt a familiar calming sense, blood flowing down her wrists. Beca continued to scratch at her wrists until her hands were covered in blood.
Beca stared down at her hands, pissed. Was she really so fucked up that she couldn't be left alone for five fucking minutes without scraping herself like a little child?
Chloe didn't deserve this…Chloe didn't deserve her.
Beca pulled out her phone without thinking and sent a text to Chloe: Hey, I'm feeling kind of sick tonight, I can't do the date tonight.
Hitting send, Beca threw her phone to the floor and cleaned the blood off her hands. Once the blood was all off, Beca headed straight for the campus book store.
