Chapter 21: Unbowed
Garrus' pulse thudded in his ears as he burst from the elevator, Tali and Miranda at his side. His eyes flicked from detail to detail: overturned furniture, a shattered window. People cowered to his left behind a console, obviously the Council. A familiar woman in blue armor. Dark blood in a trail along the floor and a man standing over a drell's fallen form on the open area outside. The man that could only have been Kai Leng pulled his sword free of Thane's body.
"This wasn't a fight. This was an execution," the Cerberus assassin said, voice dripping with malice.
Leng's back was turned to him and Garrus surged forward, trying to bring up his rifle and get a clear shot before the stroke could fall. Peripherally he could see the blue armored woman doing the same and suddenly realized the reason for the familiarity. It was Ashley Williams. The turian silently implored whatever spirit of the old Normandy was left to guide their aim... but as his finger touched the trigger everything seemed to stop at once when something moved to his right.
It was a pulse of biotic energy that drew his attention a heartbeat before a black-clad form shot up over the lip of the balcony and dropped back down to land with a heavy thud. Garrus' breath caught in his throat as the figure stood from his crouch. Jet black armor, gleaming in the Presidium's artificial light, a splash of crimson from left shoulder to breast. A pistol appeared so quickly in the man's hand that the motion was almost a blur and a shot echoed loudly in the open air. The assassin's blade clattered to the ground.
"You want a fight?"
Garrus felt his mandibles twitch, muscles absolutely frozen. The voice he heard should have been lost to history, only to be conjured up in bittersweet memories of better times, but he knew in that moment that it couldn't be anyone else. He recognized the tone, the inflection. The rage. It was the same rage that had tumbled from his own lips when his squad had fallen. The same as when he had lost his friend for the first time in the depths of space.
"W-Who..."
Everything had changed in an instant for Leng. His words moments before had been cold, confident, even arrogant. When Leng's attacker ripped the helmet away to reveal his face, the assassin's voice rose to even more frantic heights, even as Garrus felt his blood surge in triumph.
"You're dead, Shepard!" the assassin yelled. "I saw the reports! From your own crew... You were dead!"
The smile that curled across Shepard's face could have frozen the lakes of Palaven. He tossed aside the pistol.
"Death and I have established an equitable working relationship... Why don't I introduce you?"
Leng lunged for his fallen blade as Shepard surged forward like a wild animal released from its bonds. The azure glow returned, this time wrapped around the Spectre's left hand like a curved blade. In three long strides he'd closed the distance between them, lashing out with a fast kick to the assassin's midsection that sent him sprawling. To the Cerberus agent's credit he reacted quickly, kipping up and holding his sword awkwardly in front of him with his opposite hand while the other remained curled useless at his side.
"Why won't you stay dead? You're a traitor to your entire species!" Leng demanded in a strained hiss.
The Spectre's response was to simply charge forward, knocking Leng's defenses aside. A vicious right cross snapped the assassin's head to the left and when the man tried to counter by bringing his blade down in an overhand slice, Shepard simply caught the blade in a grip that crackled with biotic power.
"Sorry to disappoint," Shepard snarled.
And tightened his grip. With a bright flash the blade shattered and he stabbed forward with his right hand. Even with his keen eyesight Garrus was barely able to track the movement. A crackling azure blade appeared around Shepard's right first and with a single brutal thrust he slammed it into the other man's chest. Leng's mouth opened in a silent cry of surprise, a faint gasp escaping his lips. The Spectre yanked his hand back and the blade faded in mid-air as Leng fell to his knees.
"Not... possible," the assassin choked out, blood running down his lips even as he tried to stand, only to collapse forward.
Shepard ignored him, turning to kneel next to Thane. The turian could see Thane's eyes flutter when the Spectre cradled his head. It was a wonder that could only be attributed to the drell's faith and strength of will that he was conscious after such a wound.
"S-Shepard..." Thane whispered weakly. "I... expected to see you... but not... here..."
"Too much left to do, Thane."
"Of course, you-"
The drell coughed heavily, blood staining his lips and more pooling beneath him. His training told him to call for a medic, to try despite the evidence he saw, but Garrus' instincts told him that it would be a pointless gesture. In the Citadel's current state it would be difficult to even find an emergency response unit.
"You would... refuse death. Never have I... seen such a driven soul," Thane continued, lips curling into a strained smile.
Shepard laughed quietly. "Then you've never looked into a mirror."
Behind them the elevator opened once more and a quartet of C-Sec agents in full armor along with Bailey and Kolyat emerged. The sound of their movement seemed loud in the sudden silence that had followed Shepard and Leng's brief but violent confrontation. The moment the younger drell saw his father, he burst into a run while the remaining agents quickly headed towards the Council.
"Father!"
"Kolyat?" Thane asked, barely a whisper now.
"I'm here."
The older drell blindly reached out a hand and his son grasped it tightly.
"I am... sorry... to leave you... with this burden. To face a... great darkness... alone..."
"He'll never be alone," Shepard promised. "As long as the Normandy still flies he'll always have a family to call on."
"Thank you... my friend."
The injured drell coughed again, every word seemingly forced passed his lips. Kolyat smiled down at his father with damp eyes.
"It's alright, father... I understand. And I'll make you proud. I promise."
"You have already... made me... proud."
Thane drew another shuddering breath and exhaled. And then there was silence. With great care Shepard lowered his head to the ground and brushed a hand across his face, closing the former assassin's eyes the final time. Garrus bowed his own head for a moment in respect. When he looked up Shepard had stood, fists clenched at his side, jaw tight.
Movement once again caught the turian's eye to the right and despite his earlier warnings to C-Sec, he had to fight the instinct to raise his weapon as a pair of rachni climbed over the edge of the balcony where Shepard had come from. They were far larger than the rachni soldiers they had encountered on Noveria, standing almost chest height and with unique colorations instead of the generic gray-brown he had seen before.
Sings-of-Endings. Our queen sings that the treachery-singers are being cleansed from the hive-station. The queen-ships have driven their vessels away or destroyed them. The station will be yours in a brief measurement of your time.
Garrus wasn't sure how, but he knew it was the almost black colored rachni that was singing in his head just like the queen had on Utukku. It was only confirmed when the large creature actually seemed to incline itself in the direction of the fallen drell and Shepard.
We heard the final notes of Sings-Penance. We mourn the loss of a member of your brood.
"Thank you, Twilight. He was a good man. A man that shouldn't have needed to die at the hands of... something like this," Shepard said and looked back at the fallen Leng.
His song is twisted and filled with discordant notes. We cannot give it a name-song, it is a foul thing and should be destroyed. Just as all of those who have attacked the hive-station are being destroyed.
The reddish rachni visibly bristled as it 'spoke' and shuffled angrily towards the fallen Cerberus agent, movement that seemed to snap everyone out of the trance that they'd been in since Shepard had appeared in their midst.
"This is madness! Commander Bailey, Spectre Williams. I require that you secure the Cerberus prisoner and take Commander Shepard into custody," Udina ordered suddenly.
Virtually everyone present stared at the human Councilor nonplussed.
"What?" Bailey finally asked.
"Councilor, I-" Ashley began.
"This man was reported as dead by the same Spectre that we just promoted to replace him!" Udina snapped and turned to the other three Councilors. "The last time he returned he was working with Cerberus, the ones responsible for his resurrection! Now he returns with an army of creatures that fought a war with this Council centuries ago. He could seize control of the station in guise of saving us from Cerberus!"
A minor storm of chaotic questions and confused statements erupted from the Councilors as each tried to talk at once.
"Why would he kill so many Cerberus personnel?"
"The Illusive Man would sacrifice expendable troops without second thought!"
"But for what purpose?"
"How are we supposed to explain that Shepard is alive only a day after we announced his death?
"Look at the facts! He returned with an army of rachni! Clearly he intends to seize control!"
Valern sighed and nodded. "Maybe it would be best if Shepard were to stand down until..."
A crack like a lightning strike silenced them all. Shepard stood facing the Council with one fist against his palm where he'd slammed them together, both hands glowing with biotic energy. There was no humor or warmth on his face now. Just anger.
"Enough! You're forgetting one important question, Councilor," the Spectre addressed Udina, the title laced with disdain.
"And what is that?"
"What if I did?"
It was Tevos' turn to blink in surprise, the asari turning to stare at the man in shock.
"What?"
She wasn't the only one knocked off balance. Garrus flicked his gaze back and forth between the C-Sec guards that were shuffling nervously and the rachni that now stood placidly behind Shepard. He wasn't sure what play his newly risen friend was making but it was a dangerous one.
"How exactly would you stop me if I did try to seize control?" Shepard asked ominously, taking a single step forward, every word coming out in a bass growl. "I came here with the entire rachni fleet behind me. The Citadel Defense fleet is out of position and rachni soldiers are swarming over every part of this station. If I wanted power I would already have it!"
The human Councilor wasn't so easily dissuaded. His face appeared dangerously red and his words were almost spit out of his mouth.
"You're only proving my point. Spectre Vakarian! You will assist Spectre Williams and restrain Shepard immediately! He has made a clear and specific threat to the sovereignty of this Council!"
Tension hung in the air, everyone afraid to make a move. Garrus saw the other human close her eyes briefly and tightened her grip on her rifle. Ashley didn't sound happy when she spoke but her words were firm.
"Dammit, Shepard. What the hell game are you playing? Just stand down!"
"This is insane, even for you!" Sparatus said from behind the woman.
"I just clawed my way out of hell, Councilor," he retorted. "You don't know the half of it. A good friend, a member of my crew, just died to save you all. I've cleaned up your mistakes ever since the first day I was appointed as a Spectre by this Council. I've reported, screamed, argued, and everything in between to make you understand the gravity of the threat that we face."
Shepard shook his head and continued. "But here we are, even as the Reapers rip this galaxy apart. The same situation all over again, one of you doesn't trust me and everyone scrambles to cover their own asses! Why don't you ask Councilor Udina why it is that he's so eager to have me arrested?"
"This confrontation is unnecessary. If we could all just lower our weapons..." Tevos said, ever the peacemaker.
"Spectres, officers! I am ordering you to take Shepard down!" Udina demand.
The C-Sec agents, a pair of turians and pair of humans, looked downright terrified but dutifully raised their weapons to form a wall in front of the Council. Garrus could see Ashley's weapon waver and the grimace that contorted her features as she held her ground.
Garrus gripped his rifle and flicked off the safety. The look on Shepard's face wasn't one of judgment or anger when he turned his head towards the turian, just a simple nod of acceptance. A look that said the man understood whatever his choice. Follow the Council's orders... or take it on faith that Shepard had a plan. That he was still in the right after everything Garrus knew.
It hadn't been a choice a year ago when Shepard had walked into his life, a ghost given new life. There wasn't a choice now. The only difference was that Garrus was now a Spectre himself, that achievement he'd once promised Shepard that he would strive for before everything went to hell. The spirits could take Udina. Garrus shifted his stance and took his place at Shepard's left, raising his rifle into the ready position.
"The Council made me a Spectre yesterday, Udina," the turian growled. "But the Normandy made me the man I am today. You want to test my loyalty? You just got your answer."
Behind him the sound of two more weapons being engaged pierced the silence that followed his declaration. Garrus didn't have to look to know that Miranda and Tali had just taken up their positions to either side. The sound of a third didn't catch his attention enough to cause him to turn his head, brow plates raising as Kolyat stood from where his father's body lay to stand beside them.
"I'm not playing games anymore, Udina. At zero five hundred hours yesterday morning the Citadel Defense Fleet received orders to move to a point above the Serpent Nebula to engage a possible Reaper threat," Shepard said icily. "Those orders came directly from the office of the Council."
Udina threw up his hands. "Now you're accusing us with colluding with Cerberus? Your audacity knows no bounds, Shepard!"
The Spectre raised one armored fist, first to gesture at the rachni and then to point at the other man.
"Not 'us'. You. My new friends aren't just soldiers. They're telepaths, every rachni hears what they call the song of the people near them. And now that I've got you all off balance, tense, afraid... do you know what they're telling me about your song, Councilor?"
Previously unheard aside from their initial outburst the rachni's music flooded into their minds once more, both of the warriors at Shepard's side seeming to speak at once.
Discordant notes!
Treachery-singer.
Blacks and yellows, twisted and dark!
The other Councilors were looking even more confused now, casting worried glances at the human among them. Udina was a career politician. He had worked his way to one of most influential positions among humanity by knowing how to dissemble, say the right thing, and smile even when he couldn't stand the people that he met.
Garrus felt his mandibles twitch in dark amusement. It seemed you couldn't just put on a smile with the rachni around. Such an obvious breach of privacy should rankle his turian sensibilities. But all he could feel at the moment was grim satisfaction.
"You... you can't be serious," the man stammered now.
"I am. The worst part is I didn't want it to be true," Shepard replied. "I wanted to think that despite everything that you really had humanity's best interests at heart. That in our darkest hour everyone of us would be our best."
Something changed in Udina's demeanor. His shoulders slumped faintly and his words no longer had the force they had previously carried.
"This has always been about what's best for humani-"
Sings-of-Endings!
The cry of warning came too late as a shot took Udina in the chest. Kai Leng had forced himself into a sitting position and the blast had come from the palm of his undamaged hand. Blood still ran down his chest but the assassin somehow managed to get to his feet.
"Leng!" Shepard roared.
Kai Leng sneered at the Spectre and threw himself backwards off the balcony, yelling as he fell.
"This isn't over, Shepard!"
There was a scramble of movement towards the edge. Garrus made it just in time to see the Cerberus agent land heavily on the roof of a Cerberus shuttle. Armored hands pulled Leng inside even as a barrage of fire began to rain down on them, but to little avail. Without heavy weapons they couldn't hope to bring down the shuttle that was already speeding away.
"Dammit!" Shepard cursed.
"I don't understand... we all watched you stab him, no one should have been moving after that kind of blow," Bailey muttered from his position a few feet away.
Miranda spoke up for the first time since they had entered the upper floor. "The Illusive Man has been experimenting with cybernetics for years. I hadn't realized just how far he had gone until now... I should have warned you, Shepard. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," the human Spectre responded immediately. "I shouldn't have given that bastard even a chance to survive. To escape justice."
Garrus reached out and gripped his friend's armored shoulder. He didn't disappear like an apparition, the hard plates beneath his hand were solid and real.
"He didn't escape, Shepard. He just delayed the inevitable. Next time..."
Shepard turned his head and gave the turian a grim smile as he trailed off.
"Next time we kill him."
There were plenty of questions that needed to be asked. Important ones. Garrus knew things would never be quite 'normal' again, but for next few minutes they didn't matter. He flashed the human a tight smile.
"It's good to have you back."
It didn't take long for more C-Sec agents to arrive but by then any crisis had long since passed. The Council was quickly escorted away to a safer location. Bailey instructed the medical teams that followed soon after to remove Thane's body with great care and Kolyat accompanied them after a brief conversation with Shepard.
"I never expected to see you come back from the dead again, Shepard, even if I was involved in making it happen the first time around," Miranda said. "If I didn't know better I would think that this was some sort of elaborate plan between you and Vakarian."
There was only a small group of them left now, seven in all if Garrus counted the two rachni that were shuffling around the room. The creatures had gotten wary looks from the C-Sec agents and the Council but Shepard seemed to barely notice their presence.
"There wasn't a plan that I was made aware of," he interjected, a slight edge in his voice.
Shepard grimaced. "There wasn't one. I wasn't planning on coming back from the dead this time either."
The operative arched one dark eyebrow. "Yet here you stand."
"I'm wondering about that myself, Shepard," Ashley added. "I know we've had our problems but... what the hell?"
"It's a... long story. A complicated one that is going to need a lot of explanation since the Council apparently announced my death even. The Citadel is going to be in chaos for the near future and the Normandy should be docking soon. You're both welcome aboard."
The soldier spoke first, her tone wry. "I'm surprised at the offer considering that we were on opposite sides of a gun a few minutes ago."
"You're always welcome on the Normandy... whether you trust me or not is on you. I can't spend time trying to prove what I am anymore."
"No more second guessing, Skipper... not by me at least."
He gave a tired smile.
"If we're being honest I... don't have anywhere else to go," Miranda said, the look on her face speaking volumes. "Getting to the Citadel as quickly as I did burned through plenty of resources and if the Illusive Man didn't want me dead before he certainly does now."
Miranda had likely been one of his least favorite people aboard the Normandy when Garrus had first come aboard. The superiority, the cold disregard for the lives of others... but now he couldn't help but feel sympathy for the woman. She had proven that when the time to make a decision was at hand, her loyalty was in the right place. As proud as the former Cerberus operative was it couldn't have been easy to admit that she was vulnerable.
"The offer is the same, Miranda. Things might have changed but there will always be a place on the Normandy if you want it."
The woman nodded.
"Would you two mind escorting my new friends to the Normandy on the way? Between the four of you, I doubt you'd have any trouble getting to the docking ring."
"Great. Giant bugs. Couldn't be krogan... I got used to krogan," Ashley muttered.
Rachni song in his mind was apparently heard by everyone as Tali jolted. It was the one that he'd heard Shepard call 'Twilight'.
Our songs are far more peaceful than those of the survival-singers, Iron-Singer, unless we are threatened. Sings-Memories notes were quite loud and fierce, as were the memory-songs of his ancestors.
"I'm not going to pretend to understand all of that," Williams replied and glanced to her right, frowning. "I don't think you guys are both going to fit in the elevator even as big as it is, though..."
We will sing climbing-songs and follow you to the area of the hive station below! The other rachni said.
"We should get moving. The longer we wait the more likely it is that C-Sec will get organized and start asking awkward questions," Miranda suggested.
Garrus chuckled. "You're in a room full of Spectres. Red tape and awkward questions suddenly became a lot less of a problem for you."
"True, but she has a point. I'd rather avoid it entirely," Ashley said and gestured to the two rachni. "Come on, uh, guys?"
We are of the male gender, the calmer sounding of the rachni confirmed and moved towards the ledge.
The turian rubbed his fringe and sighed as the elevator doors closed behind the two women. Each time he thought that his life had finally reached its strangest point the universe had seen fit to mock him and up the ante. The only real benefit was that sometimes those strange occurrences worked out for the greater good.
With the rachni and the other two women gone it left just the three of them now, standing in awkward silence. Tali hadn't spoken a word since Shepard had removed his mask and for the first time since his dramatic entrance the human looked less than in complete control of the situation. Garrus shook his head. Leave it to Shepard to have a plan to stop a Cerberus coup but not how to say hello to his two oldest friends after yet another miraculous resurrection.
It didn't help that there was a question that hung in the air that needed to be asked, but none of them wanted to voice it. Finally Garrus sighed and broke the silence.
"There's only one question that matters to me, Shepard... you said you wouldn't go down the same path as Saren. We both knew what you meant. So tell me, are you really back? Not just in body, but in spirit?"
Shepard's face twisted into an expression of distaste.
"You can say the word, Garrus. Indoctrinated."
"I was... being tactful," he said lamely.
"You haven't been tactful since the day we met. No reason to start now, old friend," the human Spectre said with a tired smile.
He shrugged and looked over the railing. "Then let's have it. People don't just get over being Indoctrinated, Shepard."
"You're right, they don't."
Garrus' head snapped back towards the man and he could see Tali visibly stiffen. The human Spectre had turned and leaned against the same rail, not looking at either of them. His voice was tight as he continued.
"You can't cure it. There's no secret rachni technique to undo what's already been done. All of this hardware that Cerberus used to bring me back... they barely understood it. It might not be pure Reaper technology but it's close," Shepard said. "As long as Harbinger or whatever controls the Reapers is out there, they'll always have a line to me."
Before he could voice his concern Tali had interrupted, speaking for the first time with an odd combination of anger and trepidation.
"Dammit, John, what are you saying?"
The sigh that left the human's lips spoke of a sort of bone weariness that Garrus could identify with all too well, but when he turned to face them the Spectre was clearly doing his best not to show it.
"Hope-Singer couldn't protect me like she could another rachni without the possibility of damaging my mind. Instead she helped me confront what had been living in my head for... too long. All ghosts, old pains that the Reapers used to manipulate me. I can't completely block them, but I can see them for what they are now."
"You're telling me that you're just supposed to out-stubborn the Reapers?" Garrus asked.
Shepard's smile was rueful.
"It's all I've got. What I saw... it's hard to explain, but I was able to deny them. I won't let them win. I've made too many promises to give up now."
The turian saw the look in his friend's eyes as he spoke, the way his gaze drifted to Tali. From anyone else the answer would have seemed ludicrous... but this was Shepard. They'd come this far believing that he could do anything. Garrus wasn't about to stop now. He was certain there would be another long talk in their future, but for now he suspected there were things that needed to be said without him present.
"It's good enough for me, Boss."
"I'm not the boss anymore, Garrus. You're a Spectre now. And as much as you don't need one more burden... you're the one that has to make the hard decision if you ever think I've slipped."
He nodded once and turned towards the elevator, pausing just before he stepped inside to look over his shoulder with a turian smirk.
"I had a good teacher when it came to hard decisions... Shepard."
Tali fidgeted in the heavy silence that followed Garrus' departure. She understood that the turian had known that there were things that neither would be comfortable saying in his presence, no matter how close the three of them were. The problem was she couldn't seem to find the words to express the feelings that roiled inside her, whenever she was about to speak they slipped away like an oil slicked tool she couldn't get a grip on.
The fact that Shepard seemed no better off didn't assuage her confusion. Just his presence was making the sound of her own heartbeat loud in her ears. This was the man that she had been mourning the day before, plagued by memories of the first time she'd felt that same pain. Only to quickly realize that it was worse the second time when she understood the full extent of what she had lost. That part wanted to scream at him, hit him even, and demand to know if the man understood the pain he'd put her through.
It was Shepard that finally broke the silence, turning towards her but not coming any closer.
"After I told Garrus to leave on Utukku... I was ready to die. I'd accepted it. Not because I wanted to, but because it felt like I had no other choice."
"No other choice?" she snapped, suddenly able to speak as one emotion won out over the others. Tali took a step towards him, fists balled angrily at her sides. "You could have said something! Anything!"
"No, I couldn't. Everything was falling apart for me, Tali. I know you probably can't believe me after what's happened between us but I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted nothing more than to tell you everything. To... to reach out for you like we were back on Illium and none of this had ever happened."
Shepard's voice was laced with regret and pain, the lines on his face showing all of it through the facade that he usually kept carefully in place. As much as she wanted to cling to the righteous anger that was in her chest, so simple and easy to understand, her voice was softer when she spoke.
"Did you think I would pull away?"
There was a moment of silence.
"I was too afraid to find out if you would or not," he answered slowly, as if each word was exacting a physical toll on him. "And even if I had the courage to try... I couldn't risk it. When I looked at you all I could see were... were visions. Pain and death, all by my hand."
She shook her head vehemently. Kasumi had told her of Garrus' revelation. Of any of the crew she was one of the most aware of what indoctrination could do after experiencing the barest taste of it after their time aboard the derelict Reaper. The idea of Shepard hurting her, though, even under the influence of an outside force? It didn't even begin to make sense.
"No. I know you..."
"They showed me your death every night, Tali! And then even when I was awake," he said, cutting her off sharply. "It wasn't just an image. I could hear you begging me 'Why... why?' and I could smell the blood. Every day that passed I felt like I was sinking a little deeper into an abyss that I couldn't climb out of, but I just kept going."
Shepard looked away, voice thick as he continued.
"I wanted to call you in those last moments just to hear your voice. But I couldn't do that to you. All I could hope is that you'd forgive me someday and understand why I did it. Everything I did, misguided or not, was to try and protect you. Maybe it can never be the same between us again. I... I understand that..."
The quarian crossed the short distance between them in a rush, colliding with him with enough force to make the much larger man shift his stance to take the impact. Tali felt the sharp edges of his armor digging into her but ignored them, wrapping her arms around his waist. The crack in the normally unshakeable human's voice finally drew a small sob from her own lips.
"You stupid... stupid bosh'tet," the quarian stammered through the visor that was pressed against the his chest. "It doesn't m-matter how angry I am, don't you get it? You're alive. You're alive..."
At last she felt some of the tension leave Shepard's body. His arms wrapped around her a moment later and Tali felt his head come to rest atop her veil, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.
"It was the image of you that finally brought me back. I saw all the people I left behind, the things left undone," he said, barely a whisper. "I remembered the first time I saw your face. The promise I made. The thought of breaking that promise was the last push I needed to finally drag myself out of hell."
Tali couldn't formulate a response at first, just holding on as he squeezed her tightly. Mentally she kicked herself for crying, but for once at least they were tears of relief instead of sorrow. As the minutes passed she noted that Shepard's grip was almost as tight as hers, as if he was afraid that if he let go she would disappear.
"I wanted to hate you for leaving me behind," the quarian finally replied.
Pain flashed across his face, but Shepard nodded.
"I would have understood. When we defeated the Collectors and the Shadow Broker I felt like everything was finally going right. But after Bahak... everything just started to fall apart."
"You didn't let me finish," she said, reaching up to touch the side of his face with one hand.
A brief moment of anger at her suit surged through her. It was a familiar emotion. She wanted to feel the skin beneath her fingertips, the stubble that lined Shepard's face and even the faded scars that crossed it. That old pain was overshadowed by the simple fact that he was there to touch at all, alive and strong. Her suit might have denied her the full sensation, but she would happily accept it over nothing at all.
"I said I wanted to hate you. And I was so angry at you when I returned to the fleet. After all the things you said, the promises you made, the idea that you would just leave me behind was infuriating," Tali explained. "Then you finally come back into my life after six long months. Just like always you didn't even hesitate to try and fix every problem you could find."
At this he finally smiled. "You did call me, what was it... a baelen'sor?"
"Of course you would remember that too. I think I meant it more affectionately than when Miranda said you had a 'white knight' complex, though," she agreed, tapping his chest lightly with the same hand. "You're distracting me!"
"It always worked before. You don't have to explain yourself to me, Tali. If I had come back and you told me that it was over, that you never wanted to see my face again..." he trailed off and she felt a faint shiver run through him before he continued. "I would have deserved it."
Her voice was suddenly firm when she spoke and Tali rapped her fingers hard on his armored chest.
"No. You don't deserve the blame for all the things that have happened in your life, John. That's what we've always tried to make you see, but you just kept going. You take responsibility for everything until the weight is crushing you... you can't do it anymore, you can't take responsibility for an entire war. I won't let you!"
Shepard looked more than a little surprised by her sudden assertiveness, but she continued on before he could object.
"What I was trying to tell you was that despite how angry and confused I was by how you pushed me away... sitting in your cabin after we left you on that damned planet all I could think of was how I would give anything, anything in the universe to look up and see you walk through those doors. I realized that no matter how mad I was it didn't matter. I need my... my hesh'la. I've spent so long feeling alone in a crowd... I never want to feel that way again."
Her voice had become far less assured by the end, but it apparently didn't matter. The human had taken the hand that rested on his chest and brought it to his lips, holding it there for a moment as he met her eyes. Tali was just able to feel the heat of his breath through the surface of her suit and it sent a shiver down her spine.
"I don't know what will happen by the time this war is over, Tali, but you need to know that I will never stop fighting to keep my promises. We've lost too many good people... too many friends for me to do anything less."
"You won't," she said, giving him a faint smile even though she knew he couldn't see it. "You've always tried to do too much. Just make me a new promise... promise me that you won't push me away again. You can't do everything alone. Whatever happens, even if we lose... I want to be there too."
Shepard smiled and he kissed her fingers once more.
"Your hesh'la promises. All that and more."
No one got in Garrus Vakarian's way as he moved through the crowded elevators and hallways of the Citadel. As people had a tendency to do once the immediate crisis had passed most of the civilians had begun to emerge from their homes and offices. After an entire day huddled in fear he couldn't exactly blame them.
Maybe it was the look in his eyes, the way he moved. The rifle on his back and pistol at his hip likely didn't hurt either. But either way he definitely didn't have any problems getting from place to place. On pure reflex he scanned faces and checked entrances and exits, but his thoughts were otherwise occupied.
Shepard was alive. As revelations for the day went, that was the best one since the last time it had happened. He hadn't been surrounded by angry mercenaries this time, but the sense of relief was the same. Far less comforting was the other mirror to the situation on Omega. A dozen C-Sec officers dead during their day long defense of the Presidium Commons. And Kasumi slowly drifting away. Which led him to his current half run through the Citadel's streets.
"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" Garrus snarled.
"I didn't say that," Bailey stressed on the other end of the line. "We got her to Huerta Memorial, but every hospital on the Citadel is a confused mess right now. They were already strained by the casualties from the war."
"That does help me, I'm almost there. Did you get a physician's name, anything? Dammit, Bailey, how do we know she's even still there?"
"With the chance of Cerberus holdouts still around the station they wouldn't take the risk to move anyone. She's there."
The turian ground his sharp teeth. "Now I just have to find her. I hate hospitals. They make C-Sec look like a fast and loose organization. Are you family? What's your relation? A million little rules and regulations."
There was a short laugh on the other end of the line.
"Vakarian, I know it's only been a day but did you forget that you're a Spectre now?"
His mandibles perked up as the thought registered in his tired mind.
"You have a point. Thanks, Bailey."
As predicted Huerta Memorial was organized chaos. Nurses and attendants were even dealing with some patients on gurneys in the lobby but it didn't look quite as bad as he had feared. With renewed purpose Garrus approached the front desk and rapped his talons against the hard surface. The asari woman manning the terminal looked up.
"Can I help you? If your condition is non-emergency I'd recommend La Croix five levels down. We are currently at capacity."
The turian blinked and glanced down, noticing that there were streaks of blood on his armor, most dark and dried by now. Most of it wasn't his own.
"I'm not a patient, I'm looking for one. She was brought in by Commander Armando Bailey... maybe over an hour ago. Kasumi Goto."
"Records do not show anyone admitted under that name. Maybe if-"
"Female, human. Japanese-Asian ancestry. Approximately fifty five kilograms. One hundred fifty eight centimeters in height. Black hair, facial tattoo on her lower lip. Suffered a wound to her lower abdomen, right side, six point one centimeters in length along with secondary bruising and minor lacerations due to an explosive blast."
It was the asari's turn to look surprised, but seeing his unwavering stare she quickly began to type. A second later she looked back to him.
"I... do have someone matching that description that was registered in the system. What is your relation to the patient? She's in the surgery ward it looks like but I can't give any more information-"
"Spectre."
"Excuse me?"
His omni-tool sprang to life and he tapped it once, sending a burst of data to the asari's terminal.
"My relationship is 'I'm a Spectre'. Now where the hell is she?" Garrus demanded flatly.
A few more stammered sentences of confusion had given way to compliance and he was on the move again. All around him he saw the results of Cerberus' assault, compounding the already poor situation brought on by the staggering casualties as a result of the war. Doctors were scrambling frantically from place to place. He should have felt bad about using his authority to bypass regulations. He didn't.
He arrived at the designated floor quickly, scanning for anyone that looked familiar. Unfortunately in a place as large as Huerta Memorial the surgery ward took up an entire floor of its own between operating rooms, recovery areas, and numerous other necessary facilities. Garrus could feel his talon flexing in frustration when he caught a familiar scent and spun on his heel. A turian doctor passed by, tiny flecks of red blood on his scrubs. Beneath the blood and medical antiseptics he could smell the barest hint of cherry and various other unique scents that would escape a human's notice.
"You. Doctor!"
The other turian turned to look at him, an older male in yellow face paint.
"Yes?"
"Did you operate on a human patient recently? Female, dark hair. Abdominal wound?"
"I can't discuss patients with just anyone that finds their way to the surgery ward. This is a restricted part of the hospital."
"Just answer the damn question. I need to find her."
The doctor bristled but jerked his head for Garrus to follow, glancing down at the pistol on his hip.
"Fine. I don't know who you are, but this way. What is your relationship to the human?"
"Same as I told the girl at the front, I'm a Spectre. My relationship is that I don't care about your regulations," he snapped back. "How is she?"
"A turian Spectre asking after a human?" the doctor commented. "Is she a criminal? I can alert hospital security."
"She's not a criminal, she's a friend."
The other turian frowned. "I didn't realize Spectres used their powers for such petty abuses. A turian asking after a human as a friend is even odder. How did you know I had operated on her? She's only been here for an hour."
Garrus wasn't in the mood for pleasant conversation, but did his best to keep his temper under control as they walked. His answers were clipped, but at least another turian wouldn't find it as rude as one of the other species.
"She wears a perfume. It's very light, supposed to be a flowering tree from Earth called a cherry. I recognized her scent on you along with the perfume. Now tell me about her condition. Is she alright?"
"I see. I didn't realize you were... one of those," the turian doctor said darkly. "Spectre or not I resent patching up bedroom accidents in the middle of a crisis. Whatever perver-"
Any offensive diatribe the doctor had been going to continue with was cut off when Garrus whirled on him with amazing speed, wrapped a hand around the older turian's cowl, and slammed him into the nearest wall with a deep throated snarl.
"I do not give a damn about your opinions on anything, you backwater colonial fuck, other than on the current medical status of the woman you operated on!" he roared, tightening his grip. "Do I make myself clear? If not, I have plenty more petty abuses of power I can get into starting with removed your face-plates with my talons!"
"Y-Yes," the older man stammered. "She had internal bleeding from a puncture wound. I was able t-to repair the damage but she had significant blood loss. We gave her a transfusion of what little we had! Her vitals were weak but the p-p-prognosis is good. She's resting just down the hall! Room T-Twelve B!"
He released the man's cowl and let him slump to the ground.
"Much better," Garrus ordered. "That woman is part of the reason the people on this station are still alive. If you have a problem, take it up with the Council but I'd recommend keeping your opinion to yourself. I'm not the only Spectre that calls her a friend."
Leaving the frightened doctor behind he stalked down the hall, finally locating the room that had been indicated. With a shaky hand Garrus hit the door controls and stepped inside. The room was fairly dim but he could easily see the slim human form resting in the bed. Her eyes fluttered open at his entrance.
"Garrus?" she whispered. "Is that you? I thought... I heard something outside."
He grinned broadly, relief immediately replacing the anger that had been flooding through his veins. He hadn't regained one friend only to lose another. Especially one that the turian was just coming to realize had wormed her way into his life far more deeply than he'd ever expected.
"It was nothing, Kasumi. Nothing at all."
Kai Leng's head was buzzing but he didn't know if it was feedback from the cybernetics or the drugs that he'd taken. Slumped in the seat of the shuttle he held his ruined hand against his side to keep the pressure bandage in place. The only reason he hadn't bled out was due to the experimental synthetic weaves that Cerberus had grafted into his skin and muscles. Normally they should have been strong enough to withstand a blade but whatever Shepard had used at torn into him like it was nothing. The cybernetics had simply been able to stop the bleeding.
None of it made any sense. Every shred of evidence had said that Shepard was dead. Then out of nowhere the man had appeared, ambushing him and completely derailing his mission. The failure would have been bad enough, but it was only compounded by his quick and brutal defeat at the Spectre's hands.
"Get... the Illusive Man... on the line," Leng ordered through gritted teeth.
The trooper answered with an affirmative in the monotone voice he had come to expect out of them when they weren't in combat. Leng was in one of the few shuttles that had escaped, thankfully enough planning had taken place to have a few of the stealth equipped Kodiak shuttles available. None of the largest warships had escaped the rachni's wrath but some of the shuttles, like the one he was one, had evaded pursuit.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity a small holographic image of the Illusive Man appeared on the screen in front of Leng. The detail was low but he could still man out the scowl on the man's face.
"Leng, what the hell happened? My last reports showed our ships under attack before they were cut off!"
"Commander Shepard," the assassin grunted. "He's... still alive. He was the one leading the rachni."
"Shepard managed to harness the rachni? Surprising but not entirely unexpected with his track record so far... and your secondary mission?"
Leng grimaced.
"I was delayed by the drell assassin Krios. Before I could kill him and the Council I was attacked by Commander Shepard. My... left hand his crippled. He was armed with some kind of energy... energy blade I have never encountered. Cybernetics have stopped the bleeding into my chest cavity."
"In other words he beat you," the Illusive Man stated harshly.
"No!" he snarled before dissolving into a wet cough that left his hand stained red. "No... he ambushed me. I wasn't prepared. Next time I'll show him what a real human can do. I'll need the rest of the cybernetic upgrades. I don't want him to have any advantage next time."
His employer blew out a long puff of smoke from one of his ever-present cigarettes.
"We've discussed the risks involved with full scale cybernetic enhancement. Shepard's upgrades were necessary because we had to rebuild him from the ground up. Invasive surgery to do the same to you could take a dramatic toll."
"I don't care. I can handle it."
"We'll see. This is a significant setback, but it doesn't change our goal. It does make it harder to accomplish in the future, but we'll have to deal with that when the time comes. You'll get your upgrades, Leng, and when you've recovered I have a new mission waiting for you. I trust you won't fail me again?"
His one good hand balled into a tight fist. The fact that his ability to complete his mission was being called into question by the Illusive Man only made his anger roar louder. Shepard and his band of alien pets would pay in due time even if he had to kill everyone one of them himself. The man was a blight on the human race. One that needed to be removed.
"I won't. When we meet again I'll make sure that Shepard dies... permanently."
Everyone had heard, of course, but not everyone had seen it for themselves. Rumors spread fast aboard a ship, aboard a station, even across a galaxy thanks to the wonders of modern communications. Commander Shepard had returned from the dead once again to strike down Cerberus with an army of rachni at his back. He'd already seen a news feed from Westerlund News, of all sources, calling him by a new title: the Spectre of Vengeance.
The Council had predictably wanted him to give an address from the main audience hall. They'd said it would grant an appearance of stability in the aftermath of Cerberus' devastating attack and help quell any continuing rumors of his death. Despite his better judgment Shepard had agreed. The situation in the galaxy had been continuing to deteriorate as the war continued, mounting losses creating a palpable aura of fear and despair. If saying a few words in front of the cameras could help stem that tide then it would be worth it.
What he hadn't done was follow the Council's carefully orchestrated plan. Instead of standing on the lower audience platform with the Council behind and above him Shepard had stepped out onto the Councilor's dais. They might not have liked the change but there wasn't much they could do about it considering he was the only reason they were still alive... and he was flanked by the same pair of large rachni warriors that had been with him before.
"Commander... most irregular," Velarn said quietly as the human Spectre approached, stepping away from his traditional spot in the Council line up.
"These are irregular times. I'm aware of the impression you're trying to give, Councilors. That you're still in control. That the status quo has been maintained."
"Stability is important," Sparatus agreed. "We can't afford a panic."
Shepard let his gaze drift across the three of them.
"Cerberus attacked this station. Many of our homeworlds are under direct assault by the Reapers. The status quo is over. The sooner each of you realize that, the better our chances will be. We're not playing by the rules anymore. Stand behind me or stand beside me. But I'm not following anyone's orders anymore."
Without another word the Spectre moved past them and stepped into the sudden brilliance that bathed the front of the dais. Below he could see dozens of reporters and their hovering holocams, many looking worse for the wear but diligently on the job. Near the front he saw a familiar face from the past in the crowd when Emily Wong flashed him a smile and a wave. There was a bandage wrapped around one of her hands but otherwise the reporter looked downright gleeful. Many of the others didn't look nearly so enthusiastic as they took him in.
Shepard knew what they saw. In the bright lights of the Council chamber his black armor gleamed as he stood there, once more back from the dead. Behind him he heard the shuffling of feet and glanced back to see the Council had clearly made their decision, taking a place just to the side and behind him, while the pair of rachni occupied the other side. He smiled and turned his attention to the gathered crowd, beginning to speak.
"I'm sure that you all have questions. Unfortunately, I don't have time to answer them all. I will state it clearly once for the record: I am Commander John Shepard, Human Spectre, Commanding Officer of the SSV Normandy. This is no trick. There are no games being played. Two years ago I was pronounced killed in action over Alchera. Less than twenty four hours ago you were all listening to a report of my death on Utukku."
He widened his stance and placed his hands on the railing.
"I'm here to tell you that I am very much alive. I'm alive because my mission is not complete. When I became a Spectre I swore to protect this galaxy from those that would threaten it. The greatest of those threats that will ever face the people that populate this galaxy is already here. The Reapers."
A murmur went up throughout the crowd, frightened whispers and angry muttering. Shepard held up a hand.
"When I look into the eyes of the people standing out there I see fear. Fear that we can't win this fight. The same fear, the same dread that I felt when I saw my homeworld engulfed in flames," the Spectre stated calmly. "We look at the Reapers and we see something larger and more powerful than we ever imagined. Some say that they can't be defeated."
There was a momentary lull in the chatter before it picked up again. Alone a person was usually reasonable. But in a group they were prone to panic, letting themselves be caught up in the emotion of the mob. He had been seeing the frayed edges for weeks even among his own crew. The Citadel itself had been so far unscathed, but now with Cerberus' assault he could sense the growing feeling of panic. Before the buzz could become a roar he slammed his fist down on the metal railing.
"Those people are wrong! Three years ago Sovereign was destroyed here by the combined might of the Citadel fleet and the Systems Alliance! On Tuchanka I watched a Reaper being torn to pieces by nothing less than a thresher maw! For thousands of years the Reapers have repeated their cycle, but they have never once faced a galaxy united against them," he declared in a voice that was almost a yell.
"The Reapers will try to break our will. They will create monsters and destroy cities. They will turn others against us, manipulate the weak-willed and the corrupt to carry out their plans. But we cannot let them rule us with fear! Cerberus has struck at our heart, but we showed them that there is still fight left in us all. We will not bow down and accept our fate!"
He didn't try to hide his vicious smile as the murmurs turned to sounds of protest. Not of discontent, but of anger. The human Spectre rested both hands on the railing now and looked out at the crowd.
"My name is Jonathan Shepard. Twice the galaxy has declared me dead, but I still endure. I fight for the future of not just the Council or the Alliance, but for all sapient life in this galaxy. The Reapers think of themselves as gods. They would have us submit to slaughter because they demand it. But I stand before you now to deliver a single message."
Shepard looked directly into Wong's hovering camera.
"I have seen gods die."
See, I told you we'd get here eventually ;)
So I am still alive, I apologize for the very long wait. Hopefully you lot haven't been too hard hit by the cliffhanger. This is a busy time of the year and I'm going to be out of commission again next weekend but I promise it'll get finished. If this thing stops updating forever then it means I got hit by a bus (but hopefully something cooler).
Maybe this will help sooth the long wait... after my impromptu poll last time our resident artist got an idea since the 'original' RE Tali won by such a handy margin. So now she's been immortalized in art: (as always, delete the spaces and it'll work)
animemagix . deviantart # / d5kf2me
Go take a look at the awesome job AMX did and drop him a line too!
Until next time, thanks for reading!
EDIT TIME: Apparently is possibly the most needlessly obtuse website ever made. The link above will NOT display correctly no matter what I do. So you know what? Here. Goto AMX's main page (you can also find a link on my profile to the images!):
animemagix . deviantart . com
