Thong Song
So, at this point all the rules have been broken. Everyone figured Lyla was in the lead because no one could figure out how she got Oliver into her prison. (Truth was he basically walked right in but neither Oliver nor John was talking.)
Lisa got points for longevity. It was a collaborative prank but most of the credit was going to her and the other girls did not mind. Each person was definitely getting praise for their own ingenuity. Leonard got an honorable mention due to the fact that he didn't even have to prank Barry; he just rolled with Lisa's prank. And rolled and rolled and rolled.
Barry even brought the prank war to Metropolis by way of Kara. She pranked Superman. How many people could say that? James and Win were certainly impressed. Clark was not.
Poor Ray had been pranked every person on Team Legends, including Rip. Ray just made it too enjoyable. Kendra went with a tame but funny shaving cream gag. Mick shaved Ray's eyebrows off. It was all in good fun, right?
Super Hero Monthly had a page dedicated to each of the pranks. There was also a section dedicated to Barry and Iris on their pending first date. Snart was quoted congratulating them and offered to take Barry off of Iris' hands if she ever got tired of him. Sara added that she wouldn't mind Barry joining them if what Thea and Felicity were telling her was true.
The only person that had yet to join the fun was Roy. He enjoyed hearing about all of their exploits while he was away. He was usually too stuck in his own head to join the fun, though. He tried thinking of ways to throw his coin into the pot. He wasn't even sure who to prank. He felt bad for Oliver because that picture in SHM (Super Hero Monthly) was just awfully embarrassing. He just couldn't hold the smirks in when he saw Oliver. He realized that every time Oliver caught him smirking, he got his ass whooped even harder in the training ring than usual. It was worth it.
Thea was a complication no matter how he looked at it. He wasn't going there. Diggle was cool people and didn't want to go there either, especially because of Lyla. So that left him with Felicity. No one had thought to prank her yet, it looked like, and really, how would they? She's Felicity. If he was going to get noticed in this war though, he'd have to think out of the box and go big but not too big because a lot of people would kill him for hurting or embarrassing her. So, it would have to speak to her humor too.
He knew he had a good one. Not only would Oliver not kill him over it but he would probably stop kicking his ass when Roy laughed about The Photo.
He wasn't sure how Felicity was going to feel about it though. 'There's no point in worrying about it now.' He thought. It was time to get to work.
He picked the lock of Felicity's' apartment. She was over Oliver's place again tonight, so he could take his time. He was able to disable the alarm system Oliver put in place easily enough. He had no idea when he learned to be so good at that. If one good thing came from joining Team Arrow, he had way more skills than he did before. He appreciated that more than anyone would ever know.
He brought several empty and a few full boxes into her apartment. It took some time but no one stopped him or questioned what he was doing. He closed her door, went into her room and began taking her clothes out of her dresser. After he loaded them all into the empty boxes, he opened the other boxes.
He had had to ask for a little help for this so he decided to go to Raymond. He knew Ray had been having a difficult month and also knew that Ray, creepily enough, knew Felicity's size in everything. Ray was elated someone wanted his help with a prank. (Roy almost walked out when Ray mentioned Prank Team RoyRay. Roy's facial expression had Ray taking the words back immediately and handing over his credit card.) With Ray footing the bill, Roy was able to buy out quite a bit of Victoria's secret.
He filled every drawer and hung a few things up in the closet, after storing her clothing boxes in there too.
He left as soon as he was finished. No need to linger. Ray had the next part of the prank all set to go.
He decided to haul ass out of town as soon as he left the building. Oliver could be upset or happy about it. He really didn't care. He wouldn't mind a small mention in the next edition of SHM though.
"She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
All night long
Let me see that thong…"
"Gah!" Felicity fumbled with her phone to get it to shut off in a hurry. "That is so not my ringtone! I swear! I have no idea why it won't stop!"
The people around her at the fancy restaurant gave her dirty looks. Oliver, however, was trying not to laugh at her frustration.
Her phone had gone off a total of 3 times so far at the restaurant and nothing was getting it to stop. She had even shut it off. It somehow turned itself back on and rang out the Thong Song at its loudest level.
"Oliver, don't think I can't see you laughing there." She frowned at him while slamming her phone back into her purse. She pushed her chair out and stood, ready to flee. "I will meet you outside!"
As she quickly walked to the door, her phone rang out again. "Stop! Stopstopstopstop!"
The doors swung open and closed in her haste to escape.
"I like it when the beat goes Duh dun duh…" rang out through the hall.
Oliver finally laughed and as he paid, he thought, 'Who ever had the balls to pull off a prank on her is going to get eaten alive by her when she finds out who they are.'
As he joined her outside she lightly hit him with her bag. "I realize that you have mellowed out slightly since 15 year old you graced SHM, but this is not cool! I hate that song!"
He took her hand and they walked out to the curb to get a cab. "I thought we decided never to mention 15 year old me again?"
"No, you decided. I agreed up until I saw the 16 year old you photo. Then I agreed that we should not stop mentioning them ever. Teenage you was precious."
He laughed. "Uh huh. Ok, how about over 30 year old Oliver takes you home, hmm?"
"Ooh, I think over 30 years old Oliver is my favorite."
"Considering all the salmon ladder photos you sent to SHM, I'm going to agree with you on that."
"Hey, don't mock my photos. And I don't need to take salmon ladder photos anymore because now I can take you home with me." She smiled like a cat with a canary and climbed into the cab that just pulled up alongside them.
Oliver gave her that smile that said, 'I love the hell out of you, you exasperating woman.'
The dawn broke over the window sill of Felicity's apartment, shedding light on the clothes strewn across the floor.
Felicity's alarm went off again, and ended with her slamming her finger on the DISMISS button. "I really don't want to get up," she moaned.
Oliver's voiced, muffled from the pillow he had his face smooshed into, jokingly said, "It's a good thing you don't have a meeting today. Sleepy you would sabotage your career really quick without me or Ray as the boss, letting you slide all the time."
"Oh my god, the meeting!" She yelled as she flew out from under the bed covers.
She ran to her closet and came to an abrupt stop. "What the hell is this?! I don't have time for this crap Oliver!"
She ran to the dresser as Oliver popped his head up in confusion.
"What the hell?!" She yelled even louder as she yanked each drawer open, furiously searching for an actual wearable stitch of clothing. "Oliver, damn it, where are my clothes?!"
She ran all over the room, grabbing up the remains of last night's outfit and put in on, smoothing out wrinkles as best she could.
Hand on the doorway, hair in disarray and panting as she struggled to put on her shoe, she told him," If it wasn't for this stupid meeting, I would kill you right now! Or better yet, get Cold to do it! Cuz he would if I asked Iris to ask him to! So think of that as you put my CLOTHES BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM! No amount of thong or lacy ANYTHING is getting me back in bed with you, mister!"
Oliver, still confused glanced around the room at all the lacy anythings on the floor. Ordinarily, finding such things in her room made him happy but right now, not so much.
A lacy something smacked him in the face as Felicity threw it off her couch.
"Remember what I said about liking 30 year old Oliver more? Well, I lied. I prefer 15 year old sweetie pie Oliver over 30 year old horndog you!" With that, she slammed the door.
Suddenly, the fact that someone finally pranked Felicity was no longer a source of amusement.
And he was pretty sure he was going to kill them. And Barry, because really, Barry started this whole thing, didn't he?
To be continued…
I began so many sentences with the word And and it makes me cringe. I can't help it though. It just fits. And I write how I talk and think. Because that's what I was taught to do. And did you see that? I started a sentence with because. And it really does make me cringe!
I originally had a different person pranking her and a reader mentioned Roy and I thought this was the perfect person to prank her and nab Oliver at the same time unintentionally.
Poll question:
Who is your favorite CW character and why? Not for any real reason. I'm just curious.
