(A/N: The chapter is finally done! Because of the length, and also tone, I have split it in two. The second half will come in a few days. As usual, thanks to Grae for being a great Beta!)

Chapter 11

4th October 2011

Kanji was slumped in his living room, glaring bleary eyed at a switched off TV. It was late, long past midnight, and his mother had given up pestering him to get to bed. It wouldn't have helped anyway; if he went to bed he knew he would spend the entire night staring at the ceiling, feeling increasingly angry and helpless. He ran his hands through his hair, raking his scalp with his fingernails. He didn't care how late it was. He didn't care how tired he was. It had been over two weeks, and Naoto was still in there.

Time moved weirdly inside the TV, Kanji knew that, but a Shadow could really get to a person in that amount of time. Get inside their heads. Fuck them up. Naoto was no pushover, no doubt about it but neither was Kanji. He thought back to his own Shadow, the way he had flaunted every aspect of Kanji he had wanted to be kept hidden, to deny. The others, well, apart from Yukiko and Rise, didn't understand. They hadn't been stuck in those places. They hadn't have to listen for days to nothing but the worst, most forbidden, parts of you being exposed, laid bare for everyone to laugh at. It was freakin' painful.

And now Naoto was going through all that shit. The dude must be suffering. Kanji shivered. Two freakin' weeks and they were still no closer to saving him. Why was it taking them so long to find him? It felt like that they had talked to every person in Inaba, spending every moment after school and on weekends asking anyone they came across about Naoto. Hell, Kanji even went to the local police station to ask someone there if they knew anything. No one was interested in talking to him though; all he got was suspicious looks and curt replies.

It had already begun raining; it has started earlier, as he was coming home from school. Time was running out.

His phone vibrated in his pocket as he received yet another message. He sighed and fished out his phone, flipping it open with an audible click. He adjusted his glasses to bring into focus who was messaging him this late at night.

There were a lot of missed call notifications and unread messages, mainly from Rise. He felt like shit for ignoring her but he didn't want to deal with any of them right now. He was too freaking exhausted. This past few weeks had been hell; he wasn't sleeping well, he was picking at his food and he hardly met up with Yu and the others any more. It was mainly his fault - unless they were doing something like interrogating people in Inaba about Naoto, or going into the TV world actively trying to look for him, he wasn't interested. They were wasting time and it was pissing him off.

His phone displayed a message from Chie. Kanji frowned. It wasn't like her to message him, especially as they hadn't spoken much recently. He opened the message:

"hey not seen u in ages. u ok?" Kanji sighed. Another one of those messages. What the hell did people expect me to say? That everything was just peachy? Screw that. His phone vibrated again as he received another message.

"just want to let u know i know what its like. I was scared too with Yukiko. we didn't know how to rescue her. we didnt even know if we could. we'll save him, Kanji-kun. trust us"

Kanji snorted. What the hell did Chie know about anything. She didn't know what it was like in there. She wasn't the one who lied to Naoto and made him use himself as bait. This was all his fault, dammit, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Trust us.

The hell did she mean by that? Did she really think that he was gonna just sit by and do nothing whilst they did the rescuing? That he needed them to fix this mess? How the hell could he rely on them when he didn't even rely on himself to rescue someone who was this damn important to him.

Kanji closed his phone and unceremoniously tossed it down on the sofa.


5th October 2011

It was still raining. Kanji walked to school slowly, his collar turned up and his umbrella pulled down low. He felt sick to his stomach and utterly exhausted. He didn't even try to sleep last night; he'd spent the long hours with his head in his hands, listening to the rain patter against the windows, until his mother appeared the next morning with a cup of tea and a sympathetic expression. At least Ma understood, though he hadn't told her everything.

He passed Marukyu Tofu as he made his way towards school, but didn't stop to wait for Rise. He couldn't face her this morning; she would probably be pissed off at him for ignoring her calls and texts, and besides, she was seriously annoying him with her persistence. She was perceptive, he knew that, but she was also stubborn, and would not leave him alone when she thought she could help. It was just that her style of helping was bugging him until he talked to her.

He'd started screening her for the last few days because they didn't help. If he didn't, he ended up listening to her jump from various topics, apologising about being unable to find Naoto yet, or trying to get him to talk about how worried he was. It could go on for hours. He knew she was just worried about him, but he always came off the phone feeling worse, feeling helpless and guilty. He knew that time was running out. He didn't need more proof of his failure. It was all his own damn fault.

"Kanji? Kanji!" he heard Rise's voice call out to him. He stopped walking, not turning to look at her. His shoulders slumped as he waited in the middle of the street. He heard her close the door to the shop behind her, the wood sliding in its frame. She splashed through the puddles are she ran to catch up with him. "Hey, Kanji!"

"Hey," he said gruffly, as he began walking again. He briefly glanced over to her; from what little he could see of her under her umbrella she looked concerned, not annoyed. She caught him looking at her.

"Oh! You don't look too good! Did you sleep at all last night?" She asked, worry tinging her voice.

"Not really," he grunted, clenching his jaw. He wasn't in the mood for another lecture. He knew he looked like shit; that he was sickly pale with bags under his eyes, that he needed to shave, his hair dishevelled. He increased his stride, feeling self-conscious. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rise jog to keep up with him.

"You're gonna make yourself sick." She said, slightly out of breath. He didn't respond. He heard her sigh. "Kanji, wait." She grabbed his arm and he stopped, facing away. "Kanji, look at me? I'm really worried about you-"

"Stop it Rise," he warned, his voice low. He really didn't want to hear it. Why was she so worried about him? He wasn't the one inside the TV. He balled his free hand into a fist, his fingernails digging into his palm. He felt his recently healed knuckles cracking under the pressure, threatening to reopen.

"No, I mean it. Listen to me, okay?" He grunted, but made no effort to face her. "You can't keep this up! You've gotta look after yourself, for Naoto-." The mention of Naoto's name made his heart skip a beat. His skin flushed with anger.

"The hell do you know?" He snapped, raising his voice. He quickly turned to face her, wild eyed, his expression pulled into a snarl as he drew himself to his full height. She flinched, but didn't let go of his arm, meeting his harsh gaze. She looked tiny, and terrified as she held her umbrella close to her, but she stood her ground.

"I know this is hard for you, I really do. I know you are worried sick." Her voice began to falter. "But look at yourself - look at what you are doing! You look terrible, you are pushing everyone away, making yourself ill - you're angry all the time and… Kanji…. I'm your friend…. and... I'm trying-" tears sprung to her eyes, but she didn't brush them away.

"Why is it taking so long Rise!" He said, his voice raw. "The forecast says that this rain is not gonna last… it's gonna be foggy tomorrow and-" he stopped, catching himself. "We gotta go in today, or-"

"I know," she pleaded, "I know I haven't been able to find him yet! I know that this is the last chance I have to find him and we have to go in today or... or…" she began to cry, tears falling freely.

"Fuck," Kanji swore. He pulled his arm out of Rise's grasp and walked a few steps away. He swore again and punched at a nearby low wall, reopening an old wound on his knuckles. He heard Rise gasp. He came back to face her, standing close, towering above her. "To hell with this. We have to go right now!"

"K-kanji- your hand-" She took his hand in hers, inspecting his bloody knuckles, seeing the old scars and wounds.

"Like fuck it matters! We don't have time for this." He pulled his hand away, wiping the blood on his trousers.

"Kanji? Rise?" Kanji recognised Yosuke's voice. He spun around and saw him and Yu approaching. "You guys ok?" Kanji was about to snap at them, ask them if he freaking looked ok, but Rise stood forward, speaking before he could.

"Y-yeah," Rise said, sniffing slightly, manufacturing a small smile. "Just, worried, you know. About Naoto." Kanji let out an exasperated sigh. Screw this. This is bullshit.

"Yeah, us too. We need to get together after school and go into the TV," Yosuke said, rubbing the back of his head. Kanji looked away. He didn't trust himself to speak without shouting. His hand was throbbing.

"Do you think you have enough information to try again?" Yu asked, addressing Rise, putting a careful hand on her shoulder and looking her in the eye. She relaxed into his touch. Kanji saw her look past Yu and directly at him before answering.

"I will try - I really will," she said. There was an awkward silence. Yosuke looked between Kanji and Rise, before casting Yu a look.

"Ok, well, we had better get to school. We will meet at the usual place later," he said.

Kanji didn't meet with Rise for lunch; she didn't come into his classroom and he didn't go out to look for her. He didn't feel like eating anyway. The cool autumn rain hammered on the window and was a constant reminder of the deadline, of his failure. Around him students chatted; laughing, gossiping, completely oblivious to the danger the rain posed. That tomorrow the fog would come and the police would… no, he didn't want to continue that thought. He felt his heartbeat quicken, and his expression shift into a scowl. To hell with this. Kanji stood up abruptly and stalked out of the classroom, purposely ignoring any odd looks he was getting.

The roof was probably not an option; he didn't want to go outside whilst it was raining so heavily. He could hide out near the sewing room; it was very unlikely anyone would even think go there. He kept an eye out on the corridor as he headed towards the practice building; he was not in the mood to run into anyone.

"There you are!" Kanji snapped his head towards the source of the noise and saw Chie standing by the lockers, her hands on her hips, looking directly at him. Her green sports jacket was zipped up to her neck, her cheeks flushed and her hair wet, as if she had run through the rain. She toed off her wet outdoor shoes and shoved them into her locker before bounding over to him. He frowned as she approached. What the hell was she doing? And why was she alone; he didn't think he had ever seen her without Yukiko in tow.

"What?" He said, gruffly, as he made to move past her, towards the practice building. She blocked his path. Chie studied his face, her eyes narrowing.

"Geez, Yosuke was right, you don't look good. When was the last time you ate something?"

"I dunno. It don't matter," Kanji shrugged. He made to go past her again but she moved in front of him, effectively blocking his path. Scowling, he drew himself up to his full height, squaring his shoulders. Chie raised one eyebrow, but refused to move, her face we set into an expression of determination. Kanji gave up and sighed. "Whadda ya want, senpai?"

"How about I treat you to lunch? I wanna talk to you, anyway."

"I ain't in the mood," Kanji said, scowling.

"Hey don't be like that. Come on. They have a beef special on today!"

They ended up in one corner of the canteen, largely ignored by the rest of the students. It was busier than normal because of the bad weather preventing people from eating outside, but it was better than being in one of the classrooms. Kanji sat sullenly in his seat as Chie put a bowl of gyuudon in front of him. His stomach growled at the smell of food, but he made no move to pick up the chopsticks. Chie had no such restraint and immediately dug into her meal. Kanji watched her in silence, his gyuudon untouched.

"So, um, how are you holding up?" She asked between mouthfuls. "I messaged you last night but I'm not sure if you got it."

"Yeah, I got it." Kanji said, not looking at her. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, but he didn't look to see who was messaging him. It was probably Rise.

"Well... um... I… how do I put this?" She hesitated for a second, stopping her assault on her steak to look at him. "I… um… I meant what I said. I know what it is like to go through something like this, and... and we're your friends, Kanji-kun. You need to trust us more. Talk to us." Kanji folded his arms.

"Like hell sayin' that will help. This ain't about trust. We're runnin' outta time and I don't know if we're gonna make it!" Chie nodded, and put down her knife. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before she spoke again.

"I am not sure if you remember, 'cause this was before we met you but... last Spring it was all over the news about Ms Yamano, and then Saki-senpai went missing, right?" Chie said, looking him in the eye. Kanji nodded. He remembered the news bits anyway. "She appeared on the Midnight Channel, and was was found hanging- um, sorry, she was, you know, killed. Everyone was talking about it. And Yu discovered that he could go into the TV, that people were being thrown in there." Chie paused and took another mouthful of food, slowly chewing it over as she stared down at the table. Kanji waited patiently for her to finish chewing.

"So, after that, I saw my best friend appear on the midnight channel... and then not come to school. I was… so... scared. I thought, 'what if this means Yukiko is going to be next?' and I thought of how I couldn't let that happen no matter what. I called her home, I called to the inn, and tried so hard to make sure she was okay but... then it happened anyway- she went missing and I blamed myself. What if I had been with her? What if I had warned her?"

Kanji stared at her, not saying anything. He absent mindedly ran his thumb over the torn skin of his knuckle, brushing against the newly formed scab.

"When we went into the TV world that time, I ran into her castle without even thinking that I could get hurt. All I could think about was saving Yuki and, well, we did save her, Kanji-kun. Even though we didn't know if we could. We saved her and started rescuing people. We rescued you, too. And then Rise and went after Mitsuo. So, that's why you gotta trust us."

"That's why you brought me here?"

"Uh huh," Chie smiled, taking another bite of her lunch. "I figured you needed someone to tell you that everything was gonna be okay. I mean, we are all worried, and we know we gotta go into the TV today, but, I just wanted to say that I understand." Kanji felt his phone go off again, vibrating against his leg from inside of his trousers.

"Uh, thanks…." he took his phone out of his pocket, frowning at it.

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot to tell you!" Chie exclaimed. Kanji looked up, his phone momentarily forgotten. "I had an idea the other day, on how to get the cops to talk to us! And, well, basically; Yu has been pretending that he's Naoto-kun's friend. He's been asking after him as if we were worried about him, and saying things like "Naoto hasn't been to school recently as we're getting worried. Is he busy with police work?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, I think it has been working. People have been telling him stuff. I think he said that he was going to talk to Rise over lunch. He's could even be talking to her right now, seeing if they know enough to go into the TV."

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" Kanji said, louder than expected. There was a sudden hush in the cafeteria as those nearest paused to see what was going on. Kanji glared at anyone who dared look their way. "The hell are you lookin' at?" Suddenly, Chie's phone started ringing. She fished it out of her jacket pocket. Kanji could see Rise's name on the caller ID. Chie flicked it open, answering it.

"Hello?" She said, frowning slightly. "Kanji-kun? Uh, yeah, he's here. You want me to put him on?" Chie handed her phone to Kanji. "It's for you. It's Rise-chan." He snatched it out of her hand, his eyes wide.

"Uh, hey Rise-"

"Kanji! Thank goodness. I… I think I've found him."