Chapter Seventeen-

Beca was pretty used to how the hospital worked by her second day. She knew the meal times and had thrown herself into all the various activities that they had her and the other patients do. She had seen her doctor that morning and he had told her that if she continued to be stable on the new medications she was on and fill out a proper safety plan for her release, she could leave the next day. Beca was ecstatic.

While she was working on a collage of coping skills (which she weirdly was incredibly into) she was told she had a visitor.

"Lesbian ex- lover being visited by former fling in a mental hospital." Jesse greeted her. "Madame, I know you hate movies, but your life has officially become one."

"Hello to you too, Jesse." Beca laughed while giving him a friendly hug. "I wanted to show you all the joy I could have given you if I was straight."

"I do like them brunette and insane." Jesses agreed. "I gotta tell you though, you are not the number one women in my life anymore."

"Oh God, what will I ever do?" Beca teased, motioning for him to sit down next to her. All the other patients had returned to the TV when the group was over, but for some reason Beca was quite determined to finish the collage.

"You're not even going to ask about her?" Jesse whined.

"Does that man I get to talk about my girlfriend?" Beca asked.

"Fiiiine." Jesse sighed. "Okay, so I met her at the record shop, okay? Which, by the way, you are missed. You are one of the few employees that actually gives a shit. Anyway, she was checking out vinyl version of the soundtrack to West Side Story which, I mean, it's not in my top twenty favorite movies, but I appreciate lovers of a movie soundtrack. So I start chatting her up and, BAM, she actually thinks I'm funny and clever and all of that and I get the number, get some dates, and things are just moving along beautifully."

"Jesse! Moving up with the ladies. I'm so proud of my weirdo." Beca laughed.

"Thank you, I try. The only problem is I have not let her see my room yet and I don't know when it will be not weird to be in such a…Jedi paradise."

"You still have a way better roommate than me. I don't think she has even noticed I haven't been in the room the past two days."

"You are probably going to walk in on the most epic party." Jesse told her than glanced at the table. "Anyway, what is this?"

"Nope, I get to talk about my girlfriend now!" Beca reminded him.

"Fine, fine, fine. So how is the sexy red-head these days?" Jesse asked.

"Hopefully things will be like 1000% better now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well…she was always so worried about me because she knew about my cutting and everything-"

"About that." Jesse said, looking a little uncomfortable. "I hope like…me not being your friend and being mad at you for a while didn't, like, well I mean I hope I didn't-"

"Jesse." Beca cut him off. "This is my problem. I didn't know how to cope and I wanted to feel pain. I wanted to feel pain because I thought I deserved it and because, well, it reminded me I was still…like living. I don't know. It's hard to explain. But it has nothing to do with anybody but me. Don't blame yourself."

"So, you know how to…cope now?"

"Well, I don't like to brag," Beca motioned towards the table. "But I do happen to have a collage right here of coping skills perfect for any situation."

"So, is that what you do all day then? Make collages?" Jesse asked.

"How dare you. I have also made a bird house and watched a lot of MTV all in one morning. What have you done that is productive today?"

"Um…decent point." Jesse laughed.

"We do more, I promise. Just being with people who are struggling with similar things and hearing their stories helps so much. It shows I'm not alone. And while some of the activities are cheesy and a bit childish, and we do watch tv a bit, I do feel myself getting better. I needed this."

"If it's helping you, I'm glad you're here. I just hope you can get out soon so you can live the life you deserve." Jesse told her.

"'Thanks Jesse." Beca smiled. "So, do you know what else I've learned since I've been here?"

"What?"

"I'm a badass at Scrabble. Want to play?"

"I'd hate to crush someone in a mental hospital." Jesse said.

"Tough words." Beca teased, running over to the game closet.

"Beca!" One of the patients named Grace stood outside her room. "You have another visitor." She said. Beca smiled.

"Thanks, Grace." She said and quickly ran over to the mirror in the bathroom and struggled to smooth out her hair a bit. She had a feeling she knew who her visitor was.

"Honey, you are in pajamas. I don't think fixing your hair is going to do much." A familiar voice teased her from the door. Beca ran out and hugged Chloe.

"Everyone here wears pajamas, it's the style here!" Beca insisted.

"Baby, you could wear a freaking garbage bag and you would look beautiful." Chloe told her. Beca smiled and motioned for her to sit down on her bed.

"How are you doing?" Beca asked.

"I feel like I should be asking you that."

"Besides the whole mental hospital thing I'm doing great. I'm wondering about you!" Beca said.

"Busy day. I had my early class today but I managed to get a nap in before I came here which is good because I have Bella rehearsals tonight."

Beca sighed. "I'm so sorry. I feel like I'm ruining things again because I'm not there."

"You're sick, baby. It'd be the same if you had the flu or something. You're sick and need to get better."

"I feel a lot better."

"Really?" Chloe asked, excited. "Tell me more."

"I don't know, like, I've been so worried about things and while I'm still worried in here, I know that whatever I'm worried about won't last forever. I'm not perfect though. Actually, I'm kind of worried about what will happened when I have the option to cut again."

"Okay. I get that. I'm a bit worried too, to be honest."

"See, in here they don't even let you use pencils if you aren't right in front of the nurse's station. I don't really have anything to cut with. So I'm worried I'll see them and be triggered." Beca confessed.

"Well, you are learning the tools in here, and hopefully you will be able to use them. And trust me, I'll be there for you through all of this."

"Please just…don't feel like you have to be."

"Do you still not get that I'm here because I love you, silly." Chloe grabbed her hand and squeezed. "I'm not here because I feel like I have to be. I love you. I love the brave, funny, strong, creative, intelligent girl that has always been there, even when you were sick. You were still you. But now we can see more of you because your disease isn't getting in the way. I love you and that's not going to change."

Beca quickly glanced at the door before leaning in and kissing Chloe. "I love you, Chloe."

Chloe kissed her back. "I love you too."