Chapter 5: Sneaking Mission

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"Dude, let me see 'em!" Kyu whined as she tried to get a better view of Jaune's Scroll, which he was doing his best to prevent. He'd returned from his "date" with Nora to Kyu pestering him how it went (she also mumbled something about "nerds mating", but he chose to ignore that bit) like she usually did, plus her insistence on see the photos he'd received.

How had she even learned about them anyway?

"No fair you get to jog all the sexy pictures to yourself!"

"Why do you even care?" he asked, swiping the device out of her reach for the umpteenth time that minute, "They're just pictures."

Kyu let out an exasperated sigh. "Because, depending on what's in the picture, it can tell you how into you the girl is," she explained. "It's like when- Look! It's that famous actor you like!" she suddenly exclaimed, pointing in a random direction.

Jaune's face immediately lit up. "You mean Spruce Willis?" he wondered, looking around for the celebrity in question.

While he was distracted, Kyu reached over and plucked the Scroll ("Yoink!") from his hand, quickly opening up the photo gallery. "Now let's see what you've been hiding~!

"G-give that back!" he cried. When he didn't see the usual crowd of people that normally accompanied the arrival of such a celebrity, he realized that Kyu just pulled a fast one him, and the feeling of his Scroll disappearing only served as confirmation he'd been duped. He tried to snatch it back, and for a brief moment he thought he would succeed when she didn't make a move to dodge, but unfortunately his hand phased through her, which threw him for a loop.

"Whuh…?"

"Fairies can go intangible at will," she said without looking up from the "borrowed" device, scrolling through Jaune's collection of photos, "it's good for keeping our pretty faces unpunched, and for keeping up with our clients if head to...secluded places."

Jaune would have thought it was a cool ability if he weren't still mad that his "love coach" stole his Scroll.

"Ooh!" she exclaimed, "You got a good shot of Miss Cereal Box; noice!"

Jaune hung his head, wishing he could just shrivel up into himself and escape the embarrassment.

"And a totes adorbs one of Red Riding Hood trying to look all heroic, too!"

He wondered if it wasn't too late to go find Yang so she could bash his skull in for him?

"Oh! And it looks like you just got another one! Aaaaaaaand...open!"

Really, his only solace was that she hadn't found the folder his sisters sent of him dressed in-

"Wait, another one?" He swiped for his Scroll again, this time catching Kyu off guard before she could go intangible. ("Hey!").

Unfortunately she managed to open the attachment that came with the text message before he got to it, but judging by how hard she was pouting she hadn't gotten a very good look at it yet; it was a selfie of Yang looking extremely proud of herself, holding two fingers in the "victory" sign. In the background there was what looked like trashed room with a lot of bodies with purple dragon tattoos lying around on the floor.

"Too bad it only shows her face," the Love Fairy commented, her head now hovering over Jaune's shoulder, "cuz she got some noice ta-tas!"

Jaune started and fumbled with his Scroll before it fell.

"You gonna see what the text says?" she asked, gesturing to the device, "I'd spare you the trouble, but somebody took the phone away before I had a chance to read it!"

For a second Jaune almost felt bad about grabbing his Scroll back, but then he remembered that Kyu wasn't supposed to have it in the first place and the feeling passed.

With that over, he closed the image and actually read the message it came with.

#Sorry for running off like I did,# it read, #I saw these punks I've been looking for and I needed to ask them some questions.# This was where the attachment link was placed. #Don't worry, the fight didn't...DRAG ON! XD XD XD XD#

Jaune visibly winced at the terrible pun and how far Yang had to stretch for it.

"Wow," Kyu said, completely deadpan, "that pun sucked; if it weren't for her boobs, I'd say drop her."

Her double standard on wordplay, or the shallow attitude? Jaune wasn't sure which he was more disappointed in Kyu for.

"Anyway," she continued, "like I was saying before, the kind of pictures Hunies send you can give you an idea of a girl's interest level; it can range from 'Just Friends' all the way up to 'My parents are out, come on over~!', and right now all these pics say you're still in the Friend Zone."

"And that's...bad?" he asked.

Kyu rolled her eyes. "Dude," she scoffed, "I thought you wanted to get a girlfriend? When guys get stuffed into the 'Friend Zone', it means they have zero chance at anything more than that! You're gonna need to step up your game if you don't want to die alone."

Jaune gulped, imagining himself laying on his deathbed in some cottage out in Rural Mistral, lamenting the fact that he didn't have any loved ones to be with in his final moments because he hadn't been able to get a girlfriend when he was at Beacon when he had the chance…

Had he been allowed to continue with the fantasy he probably would have brought himself to tears, but the fact that he suddenly found himself on the floor amongst a sea of books snapped him out of it before that could happen.

"Watch where you're going!" the second half of the collision snapped at him.

As more of his awareness returned to him, Jaune saw that the person he'd accidentally bumped into was none other than Blake Belladonna, another member of Team RWBY. She always seemed kind of aloof to him, even a little standoffish, not flustered like she was now as she hurriedly gathered her books back up.

"You really should pay more attention to where you're going," she scolded him, "What was even so distracting, anyway?"

Jaune rubbed the back of his head sheepishly; he couldn't really tell her that he was talking to the invisible Love Fairy that followed him around and only he could hear, not unless he wanted her to think he was certifiable.

Although, maybe he could play it off as a joke?

"Oh, you know, the annoying fairy that hovers over my shoulder," he said, to which Kyu huffed indignantly.

"Wow," she said, "rude much?"

"Yeah," he continued, "she was being all 'Hey, listen!' nonstop for, like, the last hour."

Kyu just pouted and turned her nose up at him.

Ha! Serves you right for stealing my Scroll from me!

Blake stared at him impassively, her eyes not really giving a hint of what she was thinking.

After a few awkward seconds she said, glaring slightly, "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, but that doesn't mean you need to outright lie to me." She then hefted her stack of books to a more stable position and brushed passed him, not even sparing a second glance as she walked off.

"Welp," Kyu said, "that could've gone better."

Jaune resisted the urge to blurt out "OH, YOU THINK?!".

"You wanna get back in her good side?" she asked, to which he gave an affirmative nod, "Good, then go give this to her." The fairy reached behind her back and pulled a book out from seemingly nowhere and tossed it to Jaune, who caught it easily enough. "Trust me, she'll totally thank you for it!"

Jaune glanced at the book. It has a simple design with only a title adorning the front cover, the words "Ninjas of Love" printed in a red font-

He immediately dropped the thing like it was about to bite him. "Where the hell did you get this?" he hissed at his fluttery, pink "coach".

Kyu shrugged, "I swiped it off Miss Ninja's pile of books."

The way she said that so nonchalantly made Jaune think Kyu might be a closet kleptomaniac.

The episode with his Scroll only strengthened that theory.

"...why would she be reading this?" he wondered, gingerly picking the book back up with as few fingers as possible.

"Dunno, I don't judge people on their preferred reading material; but I'd suggest hurrying if you don't want to lose her."

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It didn't take that long to catch up with Blake; despite having a head start on the scraggly teen she hadn't made too far away from the library...mostly because she'd stopped walking and was, apparently, taking inventory of the books she just checked out.

Sweet! Jaune cheered internally, I'll be a hero once I give this darn thing back! He patted the racy tome where it hid in his jacket, eager to not have it on him anymore. And if I'm lucky, maybe she'll even go on a date with me as thanks! Huh, I guess Kyu was right about this after all…

He then went about getting Blake's attention, steeling his resolve and taking a deep breath, of course. "Hey, Blake!" he called, waving an arm, "Blake! Over here!"

She turned around almost immediately, spotting him just as quick.

"Sorry about bumping into you before," he apologized, running up to her, "I promise I'll be more careful in the future."

She waved dismissively. "It's fine, I was a little harsh back there."

Jaune let out a mental sigh of relief.

"By the way," he continued, reaching inside his jacket to retrieve the tome, "you stopped this back in the library-"

Jaune didn't realized he'd been standing in front of a closet until he felt himself get shoved through the door and into the back wall by the dark haired girl clutching the front of his uniform.

"Are you insane?" she hissed, "You don't just go waving that around in public! What if someone had seen you do that, huh? I would've been…!" She trailed off, shuddering visibly.

However embarrassed Jaune was just holding that darn book, Blake looked about twenty times worse.

Is this really that big a deal to her? he wondered, Maybe I'd better give it back and pretend all of this never happened.

"So, uh...Blake-"

"What'll it take?" she interrupted before he could say anything, catching him off guard.

"...what'll what take?" he sought to clarify.

"What'll it take to keep you from telling anyone else about this," she elaborated, grabbing the book from him. "There has to be something, just name your price."

Jaune was unable to look away from her intense, fearful eyes, but he couldn't, and gulped audibly. He didn't want to take advantage of the poor girl, he really didn't; he just wasn't the type of person who did that kind of thing.

But...there was just something about the way she was staring at him that wore away at his resolve until it completely crumbled down.

He let out a sigh of resignation. "Well...there was this one comic book I've been hunting for a while; it's kinda rare and none if the places I've tried ever had it."

"...which one is it?" she asked.

"X-Ray & Vav #69, and I've looked everywhere for it!" he explained. "It's the last part of the final confrontation with the Mad King, where they- ...Blake?"

Jaune looked around, surprised to find that the enigmatic girl had suddenly vanished.

He blinked.

"...huh."

With his conversation partner gone, Jaune decided to head back to the library to what see Kyu was up to. He reached for the door handle and gave it a turn, only to find that it wouldn't budge.

"Hey Blake, you still out there?" he called, rapping his knuckles on the door, "You, uh, kinda locked me in by mistake, eh heh heh…." He chuckled nervously. "So if you could maybe, I don't know, let me out then that'd be peachy."

Silence greeted him, and he slowly began to realize that he probably wouldn't be getting help any time soon.

It didn't matters that he needed to use the bathroom, either.

"Damn it…!"

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Kyu's Nughty Confessions blog })i({

Alone in the closet. (If you know what I mean! XD)

Hey sexy people, Kyu's})i({ back! \(^o^)/ And boy do I have a juicy one for y'all this time!

So things start out with Scraggly Boy being a jerk and not letting me see any of the pics his dates sent him. (-_-*) I mean really! It's my job to see what people are sexting to him so I can properly gauge whether or not they're a good match! I tells ya, no respect at all….

Anyway, after I explained that to him he literally ran into this Hunie by the name of Blake Belladonna. Of course, being the "smooth operator" that he is, he naturally sent her packing in the opposite direction, but not before she "dropped" a book |-D |-D that he decides (albeit with some prompting….) to return to her.

And this is where things get interesting, folks! You see, when Ol' Jauney-boy tried to hand the book back to the femme fatale (Like, seriously, put her in a cocktail dress and a classy night dive and you've got every noir story ever!) she responded by immediately shoving him into a broom closet.

Now I know what you're all thinking, "Wow, that sure escalated quickly!" Well, sorry to burst your collective bubbles, but they didn't start making out. (TwT) Instead she chewed him out (...giggity.) for whipping "the book" out in public. Apparently someone isn't as comfortable with their hobbies as she seems…!~

And do you know what she did then? (No, it wasn't "make whoopy".) She outright bribed him not to tell anyone else about her…"particular" taste in literature |-) |-) |-), and then she bamfed off, presumably to retrieve said bribe, leaving our hapless protagonist to ponder what his next move with this chick will be. (Blake = hearts x2)

I mean, he's still in the closet; I hope that's what he's doing with this time….

Now that that's out of the way, let's move onto the comments!

Ooh, it looks like we have another new face! Whatshakinbacon20 says "It's great to see more people focusing on schoolwork. ...even if it was forced this time." Well, Miss Bacon, they may have been forced to do it, but you gotta admit, the end result of that turned out pretty good, right? Even if it was a bit nerdy for my tastes….

Cypher DS points out "This date proves things are looking up for Jaune! Instead of beating him up, Nora only threatens him with violence. Hopefully Jaune earned a good amount of Hunie for giving Nora her preferred answers in the end." You never know with nerds, dude; one minute they're all nice and calm, and the next they're practically jumping down your throat because you insulted their waifu. (-_-;) (And by the way, Dude, I've read your stories, and you've got me down pat! Noice!)

XBossLadyX says "This girl reminds me too much of my cousin in the Netherlands for it to be a coincidence. I may need to have a talk with him." Ooh, you're going to see Thor? Tell him I say hi, and that he can pound me with that hammer anytime!~

...the hammer is his [word deleted], by the way.

Gligamesh The King of Heroes asks "This Mongrel you have been assigned too seems like any kind fo spine at all when it comes to talking with women or dealing with any situation. Are you certain you'll be able to make a man out of him?" Fear not, Your Majesty! Mr. Arc isn't nearly as hopeless as some other clients I've had; denser than the protagonist of a harem anime, those guys...

OG_Cupid says "(_x_)!" Dude, you may be 3000 years old, but it's pretty clear that I'm the more mature one, you poopyhead! |-P

Speaking of being catty, Trixie Dinglebells}!{ limply retorts "Hmph! So like you to bring up the letter 'C'. I can 'C' how it fits you so well: clueless, crude and absolutely common! And what's this I hear about you operating a side business in the human world? So desperate for munie that you're parading yourself as a camgirl? (/-,-) Ah-ha-ha-ha!" First, stop projecting yourself onto other people, Dinglebells! It really is pathetic. Second, I don't know what rumors you've been hearing, but they're clearly that poopyhead Jeremy Flickergem's pathetic attempt to discredit me.

Although, now that you mention it, maybe I should look into that whole "cam girl" thing after I'm finished with the Playa here; Misty Peaks seems to be doing well for herself with that, so why can't I?

And finally, (not that)_blu_gurl states "MogarXVav OTP FTW!" Yeah, I can get down for that! Maybe we can call them "Team Nice Dynamite" or something like that.

And that about wraps things up for now. Keep voting on my poll, and keep asking me questions!

See you sexy people later! })i({

(P.S. Maaaaaaybe I should let Playa out of the closet now, I think he's learned his lesson.)