DISGAIDEN

Part 4: Food Fight

Etna sweated. She could remember the days when the Overlord Krichevskoy, the man who saved her life, would use the same nightmarish expression when he was extremely angry with someone. The seemingly innocent child's demonic change in attitude mirrored his. Etna remembered the fear that Krichevskoy inspired during these moments. It was coming back. If she didn't get the hell out of here, she was going to be vaporized.

Realizing she was defeated, Etna didn't bother with a typical villain's exit speech. She instead leapt high into the stratosphere and summoned another meteor for her to hitch a ride on. Within seconds, she was gone. The only mark she left on Lethe River was the extermination of the Flora Beast and Orc enclaves, the addition of a few new Prinnies to the squad, and proof that the still-unknown child could beat up a fellow demon with little trouble to save the Netherworld's weakest race.

The girl's evil aura vanished as quickly as it came, and she reverted to her tired, infantile self. She moaned, "Muu… What wash I doing again?"

All of the Prinnies suddenly applauded and surrounded the dumbfounded kid. Ryan rushed in and gave her a big hug while crying, "Thank you so much, dood! I thought we were gonna be goners, dood!"

"Hmmm… Oh yeah, that cwazy weidy ish gone, ishn't she?"

"Like a bad dream, thanks to you, dood," Lowalski patted her back. Reeko coughed up a freshly wrapped lollipop to give as a treat to her.

"All hail our savior, dood!" Etna's (former) vassals cheered. "That tramp would work us like dogs and pay us next to nothing, dood! Her boss was just as bad, dood! He'd be all like 'HAA HA HA HA! I'm the Overlord and you're gonna do what I say whether you like it or not', dood!"

"Shounds wike a pwace I wouldn't wanna go to," the girl moaned.

"Definitely not! That's why we'd be happy to serve under you, dood! We'll follow you to the end of the world… Well okay, not that far, but we'll definitely follow you, dood!"

"Ahem! Last time I checked, boys, I was her commanding officer, dood," Kippers reminded the joyful Prinnies. "Since she's my subordinate, that means she follows me, which means you boys follow me too. Capiche, dood?"

"Huh?" one of the ex-vassals wondered. "An Overlord following a Prinny's orders? I've never heard of that, dood."

"Ah, well… She doesn't really consider herself an Overlord, even though she has the strength of one, dood…"

The Prinnies weren't sure what to make of this. Then one asked Kippers, "Does she have a castle, dood?"

"Of course not. She just landed here, dood," he replied and quickly explained her situation to them. "We thought of just letting her stay in the Prinny village, dood."

"Seriously, dood?" Ryan voiced his disapproval. "I don't know if that will be a good idea in the long run, dood."

"Why not, Private?"

"Well, we will be getting new batches of Prinnies in the future, dood, and they need a place to stay, right? What if we built her a small castle for her to live in, dood? It could be our way of repaying her for everything she's done for us, dood."

"Hmm…" Kippers thought about it for a bit. He then approached the girl as she sucked on her lollipop, completely oblivious to the conversation. "Pvt. Kiddo, I have an offer to make for you, dood. If you can help us Prinnies kill the monsters populating Lethe River, we'll agree to build you a house that you can call home, dood. Anything you want. Nothing's too big or too small for us, dood."

"My own home?" she repeated. After landing in so many Netherworlds and constantly being rejected, the prospect of finally having her own home being built for her was too great to ignore. She didn't express a lot of joy as usual, but she was excited deep inside. "Shua, why not?"

"It's a deal then, dood! So what do you want, and where do you want it, dood?"

"Muu…" the girl looked around and found a tiny beach jutting out from a nearby fjord. "Dat wooks wike a good pwace."

"That small beach, dood?" Ryan was baffled. "I thought you would have wanted something a little… grander, dood."

"Don't question her, Private! Whatever she wants, we'll make it for her, dood!" Kippers interjected.

Lowalski waddled over to the area and quickly inspected it. He reported, "It's not bad, but it's only enough for a small cottage, dood."

"Dat shounds good," the kid nodded. "And I want a kitchen, a bathtub, a bedwoom, and a pwaywoom whea I can put my toys and watch TV. It needsh the wowud's besht kotatshu, though. Nothing but the besht sho I can sweep while watching TV. And I want the houshe to be nyshe and smawu sho it'sh eashy foa me to cwean."

"Huh? You don't want us to do any cleaning for you, dood?"

"Why?"

"That's what most Overlords tend to do, dood."

"But I'm not an Ovahwohd, sho it'sh okay, wight?"

"Uh…" Lowalski was quite confused by the girl's lackadaisical attitude. Kippers nudged him and coyly whispered, "Don't question it, dood. Don't question it."

"Oh right... Sure, that's no problem for us, dood! Give me a minute," Lowalski said and unfurled some paper, then rapidly sketched a blueprint for the new cottage. He finished on record time and showed it to her. "Does this look good, dood?"

"Hmm…" she gazed at it for a while, and then said, "Dat wooks about wight."

"Perfect! Then let's get started, boys! We'll get this done by tomorrow no problem, dood!" Kippers shouted to his new Prinny Squadron, and they emphatically raised their arms to get themselves motivated.

"B-But I don't wanna fowce you to woak sho fasht foa me," she implored. "Ishn't bounty hunting moa impowtant dan dat? I can wait foh you to finish."

Kippers confidently put his fins on his hips and declared, "Don't underestimate us, Kiddo! When we Prinnies set our minds to something, we get it done pronto, dood! Just you watch! You'll be lazing about in your new home by tomorrow night, dood!"

"Hmm, dat shounds exshyting," the girl smiled, assured that she wasn't forcing them to work so hard for her. She sat on the grass and watched them scramble around looking for materials. Naturally, Kippers promoted himself to foreman and had put on a hard hat to denote his position. He ordered the others around, and within the next hour, the foundation was already laid out.

The kid grew restless from watching and anxiously asked Kippers, "Um, ish dere anyding I can do to help you guysh?"

"No, no, we got this covered, dood!"

"But won't you guysh be hungwy or thirshty?"

"Hmm… Now that you mention it, we won't have time to make any food, dood. Then you don't mind working as the mess lady, dood?"

"I can do dat. I can kill shome moa dwagons and cook moa shoup."

"Fantastic! Don't forget to collect the bounty money from your targets as well, dood!"

"'Kay." The child ran off into the forests by herself to look around for more food.


At the outermost edges of Turbine Hills, the largest geographical formation along Lethe River, one demon was in the midst of a fierce battle against another dragon. He was a wandering fighter named Slade, who looked to be in his early twenties. His slate grey hair was matted from the deft movements required for battle, and his determined eyes were as equally grey. He wore a jacket that showed off his defined abs, and his torn capri pants revealed his legs to be metallic cybernetic replacements. His left arm was also a metal gauntlet with claws for fingers, but his right arm was much different. It was a large red protuberance resembling a limb, with five talons dripping blood from the sharp tips. A red eyeball blinked on the hand itself and emanated a miasma that granted Slade more energy to fight with.

Slade panted and got into his fighting stance as his next opponent stomped toward him, and then it flew and performed a fast dive bomb with its talons. Slade was caught in the onslaught as the dragon's foot latched around his body, and it viciously spun him against the earth five times before throwing him out of its grasp. Slade landed with such a nasty thud that he bounced off the ground. The dragon descended upon him and tore its sharp nails against his flesh.

Slade rolled aside and gasped several times, clutching the bleeding wound on his chest. He wouldn't let it deter him though. He had been through much worse and always endured it to emerge victorious. This wasn't going to be any different. Slade clenched his teeth and extended his right arm, shouting, "Come to me, forbidden power!"

The eyeball turned black and created threads of darkness to envelop Slade, transforming him into a silhouette with glowing white eyes. He launched himself backwards and leapt about on the surrounding rocks and trees like a high speed grasshopper.

"Eigengrau!"

As soon as Slade called out the name of his attack, the world around the dragon turned pitch black and allowed Slade's silhouette to merge with the darkness, making it impossible for the beast to see where he was. Then it felt hundreds of punches break its bones and thousands of slashes dig through its scaly skin. It didn't even feel itself fall dead to the ground.

The darkness faded and allowed the moon's light to illuminate the night sky again. Slade's figure returned to normal and he collapsed to his knees from the pain and exertion of using his strongest attack.

"Ugh! Damn it all to hell… Is this still not good enough for me?" he wheezed. He punched the ground and told himself, "No! I must persevere! The more I fight, the better I will become! This is but one step towards realizing my ambition!"

Having motivated himself from his little pep talk, Slade stumbled back to his feet and growled. His chest wound flared with agony, and he needed to take care of it right away. He found a roll of bandages in his jacket – one of many, of course - and plastered some over his bleeding wound, making sure that no blood would seep through the fabric before he was satisfied. Once he dressed his injury, Slade stood up and positioned himself in a contemplative pose, channeling his inner chi to cast a light healing spell. It wasn't perfect, but it would suffice for now.

After he finished healing himself, Slade heard a twig break in the distance and whipped his head back. He thought someone was trying to sneak up on him, but he didn't find anyone. Then he heard some bushes ruffling within the forest. He didn't feel the familiar rumble of dragons thundering across the land on their massive feet, so he was certain that who- or whatever this was, it would not be a gigantic threat.

Slade cautiously scurried toward the source of the noise, hiding himself and peering through foliage until he found someone kneeling in front of a berry bush with a basket full of fruit next to her. He paled a little. A smiling young woman from his memories superimposed the oblivious stranger. Both of them had the same cerulean blue hairstyle, which triggered the moment.

"… Mae? Is that you?" Slade gasped and slowly reached out to the blue haired figure. He put his clawed hand on her shoulder and she turned around in wide eyed surprise.

"Ah?" It was the little girl looking for food to make the Prinnies' next meal.

"Oh! My apologies," he uttered and jerked his hand away. The memory of the woman vanished once he realized his error. "I thought you were someone else."

"Someone elsh?"

"Yes, but she's dead. I was an idiot for thinking you were her, but you just happen to look a lot like her. I'm sorry for bothering you like this."

"Muu… 'Kay. Jusht an honesht mishtake," the girl said and continued looking for berries, not even slightly curious as to who this strange fellow striking up a conversation with her was.

Slade scratched his chin and asked out of curiosity, "So what are you doing alone in such a dangerous region of Hades? Don't you know that you could get killed easily here, young lady?"

"A wittle. I jusht wanded here, sho I don't know much about dish pwace. But I killed some dwagons to make shoup foa the Pwinnies, and dey hired me ash a bounty huntah. Dey're building my new home wight now and I'm the mesh weidy, sho I need to hunt foa food to feed dem."

Slade was rightly baffled by what the girl was saying. Did she just say she killed some of the strongest monsters on Lethe River like it was nothing? Those very same creatures gave him a tremendously hard time during his last battle, and he was still sweating a little from that ordeal.

"I see…" was all he could say. "So if you just 'landed' here, then I'm guessing you have no parents for me to bring you back home to, right?"

"Yeah. I can go back to the Pwinny pwace by myshelf, shir."

"So you're being looked after by the Prinny enclave… Well, as long as you're safe, then I won't get in your way anymore. Pardon me for my earlier rudeness once again, and take good care," Slade bowed before leaping onto the nearest tree branch and jumping out of sight.

The girl watched him depart, and then shrugged and muttered, "What a weird guy… Mu?"

She noticed something shining on the ground and picked it up. It was a golden locket with the photo of a young woman with blue hair that was styled very similarly to the child's. The woman had long black horns on her forehead and blue eyes though, which the child didn't have.

"Uh oh. Dat guy musht have dwopped dish," she realized and looked around for Slade. Unfortunately, he was long gone by that point, and she had no idea where he was headed to. "Guesh I'll have to hang on to dish foh him. Maybe I'll meet him again while bounty hunting."


Morning came for the busy Prinnies, but they barely noticed while they were so preoccupied with finishing their construction project. The demon child also helped with cooking, which gave the Prinnies the energy they needed to finish. By late in the afternoon, they put on the finishing touches to the cottage.

Kippers stood back and folded his arms, satisfied with their work. He asked the girl, "So how is it, dood?"

"Wooks good to me sho fah."

"You should see the inside, dood. Your jaw is gonna drop!"

They went inside and checked out the few rooms. The kitchen was humble yet spacious, with cupboards full of rations she had found earlier; the bathtub was simply a large wooden bucket over some coals where a fire could be lit to warm the water; the girl's favorite room – the recreation lounge – had a box TV with a DVD player and some games, empty shelves meant to store toys later on, and a kotatsu with thick heated blankets that she could laze under when things were quiet.

"Dis ish…" the child's eyes welled up and she resisted the urge to cry. "My vewy first home… It'sh pawfect… Dank you sho much, Pwinnies."

"What'd I tell ya, dood?" Kippers declared. Reeko and Lowalski gave each other a high five behind him. "Nothing's impossible for us when we put our minds to it, dood! Now you remember your part of the bargain, right, dood?"

"I help you kill bounty monshtas, wight?"

"Good lass! Now we have the rest of the day to recover from this project, but I want you and all of the new cadets assembled around the Prinny village's fire pit by 20:00 on the dot, dood! Understood?"

"Aye aye, sir!" the Prinnies saluted. The girl clumsily followed suit and said, "A-Aye aye, dood!"

"Kid, you don't need to end your sentences with dood… Dood."

The Prinnies waddled out of the new cottage and returned to the village to get some much needed sleep. Once she was finally by herself, the child immediately curled up under the kotatsu. Having floated in deep space for God knows how long, she had missed the sensation of shrouding herself in cozy blankets and losing herself to the homely warmth and comfort that they provided. She could stay here for all of eternity and not care about what was going on in the outside world. As long as she had her kotatsu and something on TV to watch, she would be the happiest demon in all of the Netherworld.


Several hours later, Ryan knocked on the door to the brand new cottage and called out, "Kiddo? Hey, Kiddo! It's time for the meeting, dood!"

He smelled the distinct scent of freshly caught sardines roasting in the oven and allowed his nose to guide him to the kitchen. To his surprise, he was met with the blue-haired child having an epic stare down with a naughty Slumber Kitty that had stolen her meal.

"Muuu~uuu~uuu…" the girl grumbled and narrowed her eyes.

"Nyaaa~aaa~aaa…" the kitten hissed in response.

"Uh… Am I interrupting anything, dood?" Ryan asked.

"Ah, Pwivate!"

The greedy feline used the girl's distraction to scurry across the room and leap out of the window.

"Hey! Get back heah, you wittle thief!"

She chased it outside, but lost sight of it. She threw a tantrum, flailing her oversized pink sleeves around as she fumed, "Bwast it! Dat wittle bwat snuck in and stowe my big catch! No one getsh away with dat, no mattah how cute dey awe!"

"Now, now, just calm down, dood," Ryan coaxed. "There's plenty of fish in the river for you to catch later, dood."

"But I'm hungwy! I'm not gonna feel bettah 'til I get my meal back!"

"Okay, um… Let's talk this over with Kippers first, okay, dood? You don't know where that creature might have run off to, and it might have devoured your food by now, dood. There's no point in chasing it without a plan, okay, dood?"

"Muu! I should have ashked foh a shecurity shystem too! One with waser guns dat go 'pew pew pew' when an intwuder getsh too cwose!"

"Let's go to the meeting place and we can talk about it with everyone else, dood. And we better hurry, too! Kippers gets real mad when we cadets are late, dood!"

"'Kay!" the girl agreed and followed Ryan to the Prinny Village. The other Prinnies were already assembled around Kippers as he and Lowalski gave an orientation about the hunting process to the newcomers.

"And that's the gist of it, men! We let the mystery kid kill the big game while we handle the small fry, then discreetly give the money to the Angel Lady and pay off our debt, dood! Any questions!?" Kippers demanded.

"No, sir, dood!" the Prinnies saluted simultaneously.

"Oh, and it goes without saying that we have to keep Pvt. Kiddo's involvement in our missions as classified as possible, dood! If the Angel Lady were to find out, she might pass the word out to Lord Valvatorez, dood! You wouldn't want to be subjected to the Zettai Prinny Project, dood! Trust me on this one!"

"Eeek! That sounds terrifying, dood! Our beaks are sealed!" one of the cadets swore.

"Lowalski! Reeko! Assign these men to their next missions, dood! I've gotta have a chat with Ryan and the kid about their task!" Kippers told his subordinate, then jumped off the platform towards the flustered pair. "Where the hell have you two been, dood!? If I wasn't busy grilling these pansies on their new life here, I would have put you both through the gamut, dood!"

"Terribly sorry, Kippers!" Ryan saluted nervously. "There was a small 'issue' at the kid's house which riled her up, dood. I had to calm her down before bringing her here, dood."

"An 'issue', you say? What could possibly be more important than our nightly strategy meetings, dood!?"

"Muu!" the girl pouted. "It wash a catashtwofee! One of dose wittle Swumbah Kitties shnuck into my houshe and stowe my food! Now I'm in a vewy, vewy bad mood!"

"Oohf!" Kippers shuddered. "I-I see, dood! Yes, indeed, matters which involve food are truly terrifying, dood! But wait a second… Did you say a Slumber Kitty did it?"

"Yeah! What'sh wong with dat!?"

"It's just that those beasts were the only ones we've managed to drive out of the area thus far, dood."

"And that was with luring them away by throwing hundreds of bacon-stuffed sardines into the raging river, dood," Ryan grinned proudly. "It was my idea."

"Well don't sound too confident, sonny! It looks like they're back with a vengeance, dood!" Kippers exclaimed. "If we don't do something soon, they'll rob us blind of all of our food, and we'll starve before we can repay our debt, dood!"

"Oooh, dose wittle fiends!" the child growled. "We can't make dis pwace shafe on an empty shtomach! I wanna go catch the wittle buggah and teach it a wesson it won't fohget!"

"That's the spirit, kiddo! I had a different mission outlined for us, but if there's a threat that's come back to bite us in the butt, then we better go take care of it pronto, dood!"

"But how awe we gonna find dat thing and make it pay foh itsh twangwesshions? I wost shight of it, and I don't know this Nethahwowld well."

"No worries, dood," Ryan saluted. "No one's love for sardines matches a Prinny's! Especially Reeko's, dood!"

On cue, the brusque Prinny popped out of the bushes and garbled, "&(%&*# 4004!"

"You heard the briefing, Reeko?" Kippers asked him. "Then get to it, bloodhound!"

"GAAAH!" Reeko pressed his beak against the ground and ran around like a dog on the prowl for its next meal. He zoomed into the forest in hot pursuit of a scent he picked up, and Kippers commanded, "After him, men! We must not lose sight of our tasty target, dood!"

"Are you sure you're not just trying to get that sardine for yourself, dood?" Ryan mumbled.

"What's that? Can't hear you! Too busy, dood!"

The trio chased after Reeko into the dark forests of Lethe River. Lowalski hurried after them and huffed, "Don't leave me behind, dood!"