Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, don't use me as a history reference.

Hey guys, I'm really sorry for the late update. I always say it, and that's because I mean it. Things have been hectic lately. I'm actually writing this chapter on an airplane ^_^"

I'm going to write as much as I can, but I'm going to camp next week too! I'm behind by my usual time by three hours. So right now it's about 9:45 PM when it's usual 12:45AM for me (so that's why this update is so late). Sigh, I'm too busy. While I'm going to get out of camp before Saturday, I won't have any time to write while I'm there. Once my schedule becomes normal again, I'll shower you guys with updates! Thank you guys for your patience. Read on!


-The day after Alfred's party-

The next day Ivan didn't even attempt to get out of bed. Matthew hesitantly stood outside of Ivan's door where he heard Ivan mutter various profanities under his breath. To be honest, Matthew wasn't surprised at all. Katyusha was going through the same thing at the moment as well.

Matthew glanced at the cup of herbal tea in his hand and debated whether he should enter the room or not. Ivan would be fine without him, but the tea would make the experience a lot less painful. Then again, if Ivan was in a particularly terrible mood then Matthew might come face to face with a pipe. It's happened before.

Either way, it was a lose-lose situation. The way he saw it, he had two options. He could become emotionally distressed by not helping out his friend, or he could risk being physically hurt. Matthew mulled over his two options and tried to reassure himself that Ivan wasn't all that violent at heart.

Matthew's blood ran cold when he heard Ivan get up from his bed. Whatever he wanted to choose, he had to choose fast because Ivan was coming to the door.

Matthew's eyes darted for a secret third option. The floor, the ceiling, a table in the hall… ah. Matthew placed the steaming mug on the table right next to Ivan's door and scribbled a note.

This will help.

-Canadian next door

Matthew winced at his messy cursive, he really needed to practice his handwriting more often. He dodged out of the hallway just before Ivan opened his door. The Canadian discretely peeked over the corner and tried to stifle a laugh. Ivan looked like, to put it nicely, like shit. His hair was strewn about in a hundred different directions, his eyes were half-lidded, and his heavy purple aura surrounded him like a cloak to shield him from the light.

The Russian blearily glanced around the hall before he spotted the mug. Ivan shuffled over, read the note, and took the mug back into his room. The door closed with a resounding slam, and Matthew could rest easy. His conscience was cleared, and his body was safe. Wait, that sounded weird.

Matthew sighed and walked back downstairs where the rest of the nations were currently trying to get over their hangovers. He thrust his hands into the pocket of his red hoodie and tried not to squint as the morning sunlight filtered in through the large glass wall. While it was indeed beautiful, it wasn't exactly the best for a headache.

"I am never drinking that much ever again, aru." Yao groaned as he blew on his homemade stew. The entire kitchen area smelled heavenly. It was in fact so good, that Matthew forsook his usual pancakes in favor of a bowl of the "hangover stew".

The Canadian sat at the granite breakfast bar and quietly sipped on the sweet soup. It had a hint of salt, but the flavor wasn't overpowering. There were tiny chunks of beef floating around, as well as soft baby carrots that melted in his mouth. It was, in a word, divine.

"Ve, Germany. This is too much, why do I feel like this?" Feliciano unhappily drank his hangover soup on the couch. Ludwig rolled his eyes, "You drank too much. You know what beer does to you." He curtly responded.

Feliciano pouted and took another spoonful of the soup. "I just wanted to see what it was like. I still think wine is better." The Italian commented. Ludwig rolled his eyes again and faintly smiled. "It grows on you."

"Fuck, the awesome me cannot get hung over. America, what the hell did you put in that drink last night?" Gilbert announced his presence as he cautiously walked down the stairs. Alfred, who was splayed across his couch, waved the Prussian over.

"I don't know man. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and it probably was. I just can't remember." Alfred's voice was a little rough. Gilbert got himself some stew and sat next to his American friend as they talked about how many different kinds of alcohol Alfred could've mixed into their drinks.

Matthew leaned back in his chair with a smile and turned his chair so he could observe his fellow nations. He loved gatherings like this, when national politics didn't matter. When their nation's was just history, and it was in the past. Their national history only made up about 20% of their relationships with the other nations. What really mattered were the personal interactions. Of course their personal interactions were influenced by their country's relationship, but they weren't exactly characterized by their nation's politics.

Matthew scoffed and finished off the rest of his soup. In reality, they were just a bunch of immature people with an obscure lifespan. "Good morning Matthew." Toris's voice snapped Matthew out of his philosophical rant. The Canadian returned the Lithuanian's smile. "Good morning Toris." Matthew moved his bowl aside so Toris could sit next to him.

"How's Katyusha?" Matthew asked.

Toris shook his head and his smile became strained. "She is… recovering."

Matthew chuckled, and by recovering, he probably meant angry.

"How's Ivan?" Toris returned the question in kind. It was Matthew's turn to half-smile and he nervously laughed. "He's… recovering."

Toris snorted and took a spoonful of his soup. It seemed like their experience was mutual. A comfortable silence settled between them. It was such a peaceful morning, Matthew thought. He hated that he had to ruin it.

"Hey, Toris?" Matthew swiveled around in his chair to get a better look at him. Toris looked up from his bowl and raised an eyebrow in response.

"…So Ivan was talking to me last night, and he told me about the day Nikolai and Alexandra sent him out of the country." Matthew explained. Toris immediately nodded as he remembered the event all too clearly. "…What happened?" Matthew asked.

Toris heaved a heavy sigh and set down his spoon. "Well, I only really know part of it. Apparently he arrived in Lithuania few months after he had left Tsarkoye selo."


-Vilinus, Lithuania, 1908-

"Those damn Russians, they think that they can just trample us like this? Do we not have rights?" Toris' boss angrily slammed his papers onto his desk. Toris nervously looked outside to check if the Russian guards had heard them before he locked the door.

He understood his boss's frustration. The Russians had outlawed their language, sent a ruthless army to oppress them, and were in the process of trying to destroy their culture. Toris wearily smiled, keyword: trying.

"Our time will come. We must stay low for a while, we've had too many uprising as of late." Toris pointed out the reason why the Russians were being so strict with them. The boss unhappily grumbled and lit a cigar, he knew that his nation was right. They had to wait for the perfect time to fight back.

"Get on the ground!" Toris jumped when the Russian guards outside busted the door down and angrily shouted at him and his boss in Russian.

"Traitors! I knew it! Quick, inform the colonel. These no good Lithuanians want to revolt again!" The guard shouted at his underling. Toris inwardly sighed and looked off to the side- their plans had just been set back by another decade or two. Imagine his surprise when a fairly large Russian appeared in his door.

Ivan's ever present smile widened when the underling bumped into his chest.

"Ah, hello Toris." Ivan greeted in English. The Lithuanian's head whipped up and his eyes widened in surprise.

"I-Ivan! What are-" Toris cut his sentence short when Ivan winked at him and made a few discrete hand gestures.

Shut up.

The guards immediately saluted the nation and stood in line. "S-Sir Braginsky. It is an honor to be able to meet you." The leader of the three stuttered. Toris refrained from rolling his eyes and gave Ivan a look. They were such ass kissers.

Ivan motioned for the soldiers to relax and scanned their faces. "You have done well," The Russian began, "we are constantly on the lookout for possible rebel leaders. In light of the rumors that have spread in Moscow, I have been sent to weed out possible rebel sympathizers. All of you have passed with record time, and I compliment your skills." Ivan reached out and shook every one of their hands.

Any prior confusion and suspicion the guards had felt disappeared, and they all beamed with pride.

"As you know, this test is useless if the other soldiers know about it. This didn't happen, understand?" Ivan's smile broadened, and the room became noticeably colder. The soldiers immediately saluted, "Yes sir." They replied in unison.

Ivan gave them a curt nod and dismissed them from their post. He gave them some money and winked, "Take your time and have a nice lunch on me."

The soldiers grinned and laughed as they left their posts. Toris' boss gawked when the soldiers left, "Who is this man?" He demanded. Toris warmly smiled and got back up to his feet. "You bribed them." Toris said in a playfully accusing voice.

Ivan rolled his eyes in response, "The best bribes are the ones that you don't recognize." Ivan's eyes trailed to the man on the ground. "Hello. I'm Toris'…"

"Friend." Toris interjected. He helped his boss back to his feet and ushered Ivan out of the room.

It was best that his current boss didn't know too much about Ivan, who knows what he might try to do. As much as he was grateful for what Ivan had done, he was concerned as to why he was even here. Ivan raised an eyebrow and allowed Toris to drag him to a more private room.

Toris shut the door behind his back and locked it in place. "Ivan, what are you doing here?" Toris cut straight to the chase. He couldn't imagine why on Earth Ivan would want to come to Lithuania of all countries, if not for official business. The Russian's smile became awkward, and he casually looked around the room.

"I believe that you said that I could visit anytime. Is that invitation no longer valid? I can go if it's too much of a bother." Ivan's words startled Toris, and he instinctively blocked the door to the room with his body.

"No, that's not it. I'm just… surprised. I don't know why you would visit." Toris regretted his words as soon as he said them. The air between him and Ivan became impossibly uncomfortable since neither of them knew what to say. Ivan adjusted his scarf and ran his hand down his backpack straps.

"I suppose you do not know… I've been..." Ivan took a deep breath, as if to reign in his emotions, "given direct orders by the Tsar to get out of mainland Russia." Ivan's cheery voice was painfully fake. Toris immediately grabbed Ivan and walked him outside. The Lithuanian knew Ivan better than anyone, and he knew that they needed to go somewhere more private.

"Why don't we talk this over while we ride?" Toris suggested when he saw Ivan's ragged, but apparently happy horse.

Ivan's facial expression didn't change for the duration of the ride to the outskirts of the city. Toris checked his watch and slowed his horse down to a slow walk. They should be a mile or two from the city's edge by now. He moved his horse more to the left so Ivan could ride right next to him on the dirt road.

After a length of uncomfortable silence, Ivan surprised Toris by initiating the conversation. "I suppose I do owe you an explanation." Ivan said as he looked straight ahead.

Toris pursed his lips into a disapproving frown, "I wouldn't say you owe it to me. I just want to know." He didn't mean to force Ivan to do anything. Ivan tilted his head to the side and sighed.

"I see, well I do not mind telling you. I am surprised that you haven't heard rumors."


Toris motioned for Matthew to follow him outside. "Ivan… wasn't happy to say the least. He was mortified, actually."

The two walked through Alfred's large garden and Matthew kicked up some of the gravel while Toris gathered his thoughts. Toris absently plucked a yellow flower from a bush and shook his head.

"Ivan was different back then. It's hard to believe, but he wasn't that much different from you or me. He had his masks, and he had his own issues, but they were no different from ours… I suppose I am partially to blame for his transformation." Toris reluctantly admitted.

Matthew raised an eyebrow in surprise and immediately asked why he thought so. The Lithuanian sadly smiled, "I made him more human."


It was dark by the time Ivan had finished explaining what had happened. The moon was high in the sky, and their horses were exhausted. Toris pat his mare's neck as they made their way back to the city. He snuck a glance at Ivan's now troubled expression and offered a small smile.

"You know how humans are Ivan. They fear anything that's stronger than them." Toris gently pulled back on his reigns so he could ride right next to his troubled friend. His words had little effect, and Ivan merely shrugged.

"I wandered for a long time Toris, and I still don't know what to do." Ivan fiddled with his scarf for a while before he turned his lost gaze to Toris.

What should he do?

Toris thoughtfully looked up at the star filled sky, "Why not get lost?" He suggested.

Ivan blankly stared at him before he snorted, "I have been lost for a while Toris."

Toris exasperatedly sighed, Ivan could be so melodramatic sometimes.

"No, you haven't. You said you would take a break from your kingdom's politics right? And yet you stayed to raise the princesses. As long as you involve yourself with the royal family, you're still involved in their politics. What I'm saying, Ivan, is go out and explore Europe. You could go to China even. Mingle with the common folk along the way, and you might find somewhere you want to stay." Toris carefully watched for Ivan's reaction.

Ivan didn't seem to be against the idea, but he remained reluctant. Toris rolled his eyes, "You can go anywhere you want, you could be anything you want. A teacher, doctor, coach driver, anything." Toris motioned for Ivan to dismount his horse once they reached his house.

Toris was a bit jealous of Ivan in that aspect. Ivan was so talented, even for a nation. If he had just half of Ivan's ability, he could've raised his nation into a superpower as well. "I understand. Thank you, Toris. You've helped me a lot." Ivan said appreciatively.

Toris smiled, at least he had helped Ivan. He unsaddled his horse and turned to bid his friend goodnight. "Goodnight Ivan-" Toris was abruptly cut off when Ivan pushed him against the wall.

"I-Ivan?" He squeaked and tried not to blush.

The Russian inspected him for a while before he released him. His face was a hair's width apart from Toris', and the Lithuanian thought he was going to become dizzy from all of the blood rushing to his face.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see something…" Ivan deliberately walked to the entrance of the stall and paused to take a look at the night sky.

"There is one thing I would like to be. My nation duties had always prevented it, but I suppose it isn't too late to start again." Ivan paused, as if he was waiting for Toris to ask what that 'thing' exactly was.

Toris straightened his coat and he crossed his arms. "What?" Toris sharply asked.

Ivan's smile became softer, and he turned his head until Toris could clearly see his purple eyes. The Lithuanian set his jaw. He hated it when Ivan did that, because he could never stay angry with him when he smiled like that.

"I would like to start being Ivan Braginsky."


"…It was adorable to say the least. It was a movie worthy line." Toris reminisced that particular night. Matthew hummed and politely listened as Toris detailed the rest of Ivan's stay. While the rest wasn't exactly boring, it wasn't the most interesting thing in the world.

"Toris? If I may, was Ivan trying to… ask you out?" Matthew ventured.

Toris lightly blushed and nervously laughed. "Yes, yes he was. It isn't all that interesting. We've known each other for a long time. We did have a relationship for a year or two, but we both decided to break it off." Toris waved away the event with a gesture similar to Ivan's.

Of course that made Matthew all that much more curious, but the Lithuanian remained tight-lipped about the exact details of their relationship.

"The relationship between our countries was, and is not good. Our relationship would've caused tension between our bosses, and while Ivan was currently on vacation, and we both knew that he would have to return eventually. It wasn't a very serious relationship… but it was very special." Toris unconsciously tightened his grip on his sleeve and tensed.

"Ivan stayed for about a year and a half before he decided that he was going to go and visit Arthur. I don't know what he did after that, but he never returned to Lithuania."

Toris revealed that that was the extent to what he knew.

"As far as I know, Ivan didn't return to Russia until Nikolai sent multiple messengers and practically begged him to return to the palace for Olga's 16th birthday." Toris said over his shoulder as he opened the door back into Alfred's house. Matthew crossed his arms and nodded to show that he was listening. So Ivan had gone away to England for two years? Why?

Matthew jumped when Toris touched his shoulder. He awkwardly smiled, "Thank you, Toris."

The Lithuanian shook his head and pat Matthew's shoulder before he left to check on Katyusha. "It's good to be young. I suggest you go ask Arthur if you want to know anything else."

Matthew waved goodbye and withheld a sigh. Sometimes he wondered if he was too nosey. Ivan's past was his business, and he obviously didn't want to talk about it. And here Matthew was, trying to dig out his old secrets. Well, perhaps they weren't secrets, Matthew thought as he walked back to where the rest of the nations were. He checked his watch and sighed, it was going to be another hour or so before everyone got over their hangovers. It was kind of funny, seeing everyone in the same spots as he left them.

"Hey, you." Kumajiro tugged on Matthew's pants. Matthew lit up and scooped him into his arms. "Hey, you." Matthew said affectionately as the bear settled in his arms.

"Hungry." The bear stated.

Matthew rolled his eyes, "Of course you are."


-The day Ivan left Vilinus, 1909-

"Ivan, you could stay a lot longer you know." Toris said worriedly as Ivan packed his horse for his journey. Ivan still didn't know where he was going, and last time he set out for a place (Lithuania) he didn't eat or drink anything but Vodka. Sure, they could survive without eating a single thing. But that doesn't mean that it was comfortable, in fact it was far from comfortable.

Ivan was well aware of his friend's worry and shot him one of his more reassuring and sincere smiles. "Nyet, I'll be fine. I packed dried meat, fruits, and bread. I will also resupply at other villages and cities." Ivan assured Toris and fed his horse a carrot.

Still, the Lithuanian couldn't stop worrying. "Don't feed all of your food to your horse. I prepared these things for you." Toris lightly threatened. As if that would stop Ivan, he thought. But he could hope. Ivan rolled his eyes again, only this time it was in annoyance.

"I'm not a child Toris. It's not your fault that I'm leaving. I already set out to do it before I got here." Ivan satisfactorily pat Toris on the head. The Lithuanian swatted his hand away and skeptically crossed his arms.

"Send a postcard. You know that the Tsar will contact me first if he wants to find you." Toris' eyes followed Ivan as he mounted his large horse.

It was sweet how much Toris cared. Ivan lightly took the reigns in his hands and mockingly saluted to his old time friend.

"I will be off. You will be the first to know where I go." The two locked gazes for a brief moment before Ivan took off to the west. He only had one destination in mind, and he knew there was only one place he needed to go. It was well known amongst the European nations that England was a master in Western magic.

A large part of his history was comprised of magical creatures, beings, and powers. His proficiency in magic was partially responsible for his country's rise. Ivan eased his horse into a lighter gallop. England knew powerful magic, and although now the nation was a bit embarrassed about his skill, he couldn't deny that it came in handy. Arthur knew spells that could suppress, or even eradicate Alexei's hemophilia. If he could, it would be nice to learn such magic for when he returned to Russia. Ivan laughed and shook his head. Toris was right- he was a workaholic.


Tsarskoye Selo

"Papa, did Ivan answer?" Anastasia eagerly asked about the latest telegram they sent to Lithuania. Nikolai faked a smile and shook his head, "No, sorry Natsya. It seems like Ivan is busy." Nikolai lied. In reality, he didn't even send the telegram.

The whole point of him sending Ivan out of Russia was for the girls to learn how to get by without him. Yes, he didn't expect the transition to be smooth, but he didn't expect it to be this painful. The girls asked about Ivan every day, and while Alexei no longer asked about him, the girls were much more determined.

"He didn't even call us for our birthdays." Maria quietly muttered. She fought back the tears that threatened to spill and she tightly gripped the pencils Ivan had given her. They were nearly stubs now, but they were still precious. It was the only part of him that she really had. Her father had forbade them from going into his room and she didn't dare to touch any of the drawings Ivan had given her.

They were too delicate.

Tatiana pursed her lips together, "Come on, let's go." She knew her father's lying face. She doubted that Ivan had even received any of their messages, but she didn't have the heart to tell Maria or Anastasia. They were always so hopeful, and she didn't want to crush their hope. With some persuasion and nagging from Olga, she managed to get all of her sisters into one room and revealed her plan.

"Let's get Ivan a present." Tatiana boldly declared. Olga scoffed, "A present?" She repeated.

"Why?" Anastasia asked. Tatiana smiled when she saw that she had both Anastasia and Maria's attention. She cleared her throat, "Well, Ivan is going to come back. So let's get him a welcome back present. So that way he won't be sad anymore."

Her reasoning was flawless, and her three sisters, Olga included, quickly agreed.

"What should we get him?" Maria asked. The four sat down on the floor and devised a plan. Olga got a pencil and some paper and they huddled around in a circle.

"What does Ivan like?" Olga asked.

Maria scrunched up her face in thought. "He likes his scarf."

Olga wrote it down.

"He always wears gloves."

Olga wrote down 'gloves'.

"…He likes to drink vodka." Anastasia pointed out.

Olga wrote it down.

"He really likes to draw."

"He likes sweet things."

"…"

There was a tense silence for a few minutes, before Olga threw up her hands in exasperation. "Is that all we know about him?" She demanded.

The three sisters sheepishly exchanged glances, "He's also really old." Tatiana pointed out.

Olga sighed and showed her sisters the list.

"Well, Ivan loves his scarf. I don't think we should get him a new one." Tatiana took the pencil from Olga's hand and crossed off an item on the list.

"He always wears the same gloves, so he must love those too." Olga snatched the pencil back and crossed of that from the list.

Anastasia grabbed the pencil and grinned. "I know, I know! Maria is really good at drawing, so you should draw him something. Olga and Tatiana, you guys can get him one of those small glasses for vodka. You know, the clear ones that are as big as my hand." Anastasia pointed to her hand.

"A shot glass?" Tatiana supplemented.

Anastasia excitedly nodded, "Yes, Yes! And I'll… I'll find him the best candy in the world." She exclaimed. Their plan was complete.

The four shook each other's hands and nodded. It was a plan.


"…You are now under a deep sleep. I am your friend, Grigori Rasputin. I am the only person who can stop your bleeding. You are safe." Rasputin lightly grasped Alexei's hand in the bed.

Alexei slowly nodded, "Friend. Safe." He repeated.

Rasputin nodded and pat his head, "Good. Whenever you are bleeding, you are going to take a deep breath and stay calm. You are going to call for me, and the bleeding will stop when I talk to you." Rasputin lightly drew a symbol on Alexei's arm with his finger.

Nothing seemed to happen to the naked eye, but the air had a strange feeling to it. It was like the air had a static charge.

"Is there anyone else who can help you?" Rasputin deliberately asked.

"…Vanya can." Alexei immediately replied.

Rasputin frowned, but he was careful to keep his displeasure from his voice.

"No, Vanya cannot help you. You should forget him."

Alexei frowned, "Why? Vanya is my friend. Ivan always helped me when I bled."

"But he is not here right now."

"…He is gone on a business trip."

"But he is not here. He cannot help you. Only I can help you."

"…Yes."

Rasputin smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"Only I can help you. You need me. Ivan is not important. You don't need him. You don't want him." His voice had unnerving steel to it.

Alexei slowly nodded again, "Yes."


There this chapter is! It's a longer chapter, but I had a lot of time. I'm really sorry for the delay, but I hope you guys liked it. Have an awesome summer!

As always, criticism and thoughts about the chapter are always appreciated. Make sure to favorite this story if you liked it and follow it to get regular updates :) Hope you guys liked the chapter!

~Preuss