Author's Note
Thanks for the reviews and follows. :)
If any of you like badass Draco more, his confidence will slowly increase once he becomes more confident and himself.
He studied me for a while. He paled, then frowned then furrowed his brows then finally met her nervous gaze.
She wasn't sure how he was going to react. And she wasn't sure how she would react either. They were having a quite respectable friendship and she didn't want to harm that. The question that pondered her mind was…..who was this friend of hers? She wanted to know who he was. But if it scared her away or made her want to hate him again, she would lose an intellectually civil relationship. Was she really willing to risk that?
"Do you really want to know?" He asked narrowing his eyes.
She gulped. Did she? What if it ruined everything? She locked eyes with him. "I want to know who this person is that brought me out of my shell. And maybe I can bring you out too." Hermione managed to gasp out. She had never been more nervous talking to someone.
He nodded. He inhaled before bursting into a story. "I grew up under my father's hawk eyes. He wasn't your typical, kind father. He was stern and mean and harsh. He made me believe muggle borns were some lower level, revolting species that were so unworthy of being in the wizarding world. I wanted so deeply to impress my father so I believed him and everything he said. I grew. I went to Hogwarts completely brainwashed by my father. I know it's no excuse for the way I've been acting but it's the influencing factor to it. I met this bushy haired, small, beautiful witch who was the most brilliant in the year and the most talented. I was shocked to find she was muggle born and on instinct treated her in a way that I wish I never had. It's one of my most sincere regrets and I apologize again. I returned after the year telling my parents all about my classmates and when my father learned that I thought so highly of a muggle born, he disciplined me. He lectured and yelled and did anything he could to change my mind for the "better." By third year, I taunted you because I was scared. Of my father. Let's just say I wasn't looking forward to more abuse. I grew older and more mature even if you don't believe but I grew thoughts of my own and grew tired of my father's. But that didn't stop Lucius from his teaching methods. By 4th year, seeing you with Viktor Krum, made me realize I had a larger liking to you than I was allowed. I had to force myself to remember the times in the room with my father and his wand. I tried to remember the reasons why I should hate you. But I couldn't bring myself to. And then of course, my father screwed up on the Dark Lord's mission and the Dark Lord decided to have a chat with me. He told me that if I couldn't kill Dumbledore, he would punish my father and mother by death. And so, for my mother's sake, I became and death eater and set out to plot his murder. But when we were finally cornered in the Astronomy tower, I couldn't do it. I felt foolish that I couldn't do it for my mother's sake but I just couldn't. And then the war came and I did switch sides halfway through the final battle. At last, I finally opened my eyes and made myself make my own decisions because I was my own person. And I had to prove that to Lucius. And I'm...working on it." He said looking at his hands.
Draco Malfoy had been abused by his father. That was something that Hermione never imagined any parent could do such horrid things to their child. Even if they were as rotten as Malfoy.
"I know it's not an excuse but….it's an influencing factor." He said quickly. Hermione grasped his hand and looked at him.
"I believe you. And I'm here. I promise to bring you out of your shell." Hermione vowed.
The next day, Hermione saw Draco Malfoy with a new perspective. He wasn't the insufferable git and spoiled little boy. He was a scared, brainwashed, influenced, forced and frightened man. He had done terrible things. She would never forget that, but he wasn't just that school bully. He made mistakes but she saw the possibility of a truly good person.
In the Great Hall, she had read the Daily Prophet which had an interview of Ronald Weasley-Famous Quidditch Keeper.
Question: "Which lucky veela are you seeing?"
Answer: "Oh, you know. I've dated a lot of woman. But...I'd have to say Hermione Granger is my one love."
Hermione didn't bother to read anymore. She headed to potions in an angry mood mulling over everything. She sat down at the back, hidden from sight. She wasn't in the mood to discuss Ron's sudden crush for her. She was done.
As the class filed in, the only seat left was with Hermione. She was scowling at anyone that came near, making pucker-kissy faces. She glared as the last student rounded the corner and marched in.
Malfoy sat down ignoring the snicker of others and glare of Hermione's. Personally, she felt relieved no chatter box like Padma or Lavender had sat down next to her. They would have questioned her ear off with demands of Ron's declaration of love towards her. Malfoy was silent as Slughorn flicked his wand on the board with instructions of a complex potion as he lectured. Within moments, the class was bustling off to retrieve ingredients.
Hermione rummaged through the cupboard looking for lacewing flies. She spotted a bottle at the top shelf and jumped up, failing to reach it. A pale arm extended upwards and handed the bottle to her. The arm led to the tall Malfoy who had a blank expression as she took the bottle muttering her thanks.
Truth be told, she wasn't frightened off my Malfoy's tale. She was rather spared the hidden mystery behind Malfoy. She felt slightly nervous at this encounter. She didn't want to give him the wrong impression. She hadn't said anything after she told him she would help bring him out of his shell. They had sat there together until early morning when they parted for bed.
She left it at her thanks and rushed to her seat to finish off her potion.
Hermione entered the common room and launched herself onto the couch. She was exhausted as she rubbed her temples. There was a faint pecking at the window as she turned to see a large, plain owl waiting there. She opened the window and the bird dropped the letter in her hands before flying off.
The letter was addressed to Malfoy. And it was from….Azkaban.
Hermione felt herself panic. They couldn't be sending him to Azkaban could they? He had done wrong, but he had payed off his hours of community service. Plus, he was underage. She couldn't open the letter but she was itching to know what was going on. With much debate, she walked into Malfoy's room and left it on his bedside table.
She paused to observe his room. It was almost identical to hers just with the green decor. He had a few posters of quidditch players but that wasn't what interested Hermione. He had a whole stack of books sprawled over his desk. She was tempted to open one and scour the pages but not before Malfoy himself walked in.
"Uh….I'm sorry…" Hermione said awkwardly.
"Snooping?" He asked smirking slightly.
Hermione blushed. "You got a letter." She said looking at her shoes.
He walked over to his bedside table and picked up the letter. He paled before looking to glance at Hermione. She was still eyeing the books.
"You can go look you know." He said amused at her eagerness. She rushed to the books and pried one open.
"And you can open that letter you know." Hermione said not glancing up from her book. "I didn't look."
He sighed before sitting on his bed and ripping the letter open.
Hermione chanced a few glances at him. He was growing paler and paler if that was possible for someone already so pale.
"Everything alright?" She asked cautiously. Now that they were….friends...she had the right to enquire about his well being right?
He looked up blushing. "Perfectly fine." He assured ripping the letter to shreds and crumpling it up.
"You don't seem fine." Hermione said placing the book down.
He bit his lip before responding. "It's nothing."
"If you want to have a good friendship Malfoy, you need to be willing to share your feelings and emotions." Hermione said gently.
"I'm not your friend." Malfoy said firmly. Hermione was shocked. Just last night, he was the lonesome boy who was lost and broken. He had told her that he liked her. Even if it wasn't that way, he had admitted it. And now they weren't friends?!
"Look, I want to. I want to be friends. But it could never work. We just….can't." Malfoy said uncomfortably.
Hermione was hurt. They had this civil friendship and now it came falling down. The familiar sensation of embarrassment and sadness and anger and hate filled her. Just like when Ron was cheating on her. She couldn't get hurt again. And she just did. She opened the door and got nothing but hurt.
Hermione exited the room without a word. They didn't have a very strong friendship anyways. It was better to know now than when they did have a stronger friendship. Which now was never.
The next week passed uneventfully. Homework at night was less interesting without the debates and discussions and inferences she made with Malfoy. Classes became awkward. Especially when she could almost feel Malfoy's eyes on her. She never met his gaze. She couldn't. She wouldn't let herself get hurt ever again. Not like that.
There were changes to Malfoy too. He had dark circles under his eyes. He was first to every class, last to every meal and he isolated himself from everyone. Even his Slytherin friends. She could tell Blaise and Pansy noticed it too.
Though she wouldn't tell anyone. She had walked in on something she knew she was never meant to see. No one was. And it was nothing like the time Harry walked in on Malfoy crying. It was more personal and less stress related.
Hermione walked into the common room in the late night. She had studied in the library to avoid facing Malfoy.
She entered to hear quiet sobs. She spotted a curled up figure in front of the fire.
Malfoy was hunched over screaming and sobbing. He was throwing letters into the fire without hesitation. She backed away slightly nervous to see him so angry. It made her anxious. He looked murderous. She quickly exited the room and never mentioned it.
All these things didn't add up. He was the Slytherin Prince, he could get any girl he wanted, he had looks, and athleticism, brains if he applied himself, charm and his inner side was kind, soft and most of all human.
But she couldn't forget that he didn't want to be friends. Hermione couldn't believe she was making a list of things she had yet to realize that she loved about him too. It unnerved her, especially since she wasn't supposed to even like him.
At the end of Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall had called her for a moment after class.
She nervously walked up to the teacher's desk.
"Relax Miss Granger. You are not in trouble." Professor McGonagall assured. "For once." She added. Hermione smiled guiltily.
"What can I help with?" Hermione asked trying to cover up for her embarrassment.
"Mr. Malfoy seems to be having a difficult time in my class and I was wondering if you would be willing to assist him in this subject, seeing as you are the best in the class. He is usually a very smart and intellectual student. For some odd reason, his marks are decreasing. This hasn't happened since...sixth year." McGonagall said gravelly.
"He's not helping the Dark Lord." Hermione said immediately.
McGonagall smiled slightly. "Please assist him from Wednesday to Saturday on the subject. It is vital that he pass this subject if he wishes to become a healer." McGonagall said. "He'll meet you in the library."
"Er...Professor I don't think this is a good idea…" Hermione said anxiously. He didn't want to see her. And it was awkward enough the times they did see each other. Extra time wouldn't end well.
"And why not? I am aware you two didn't get along but he could use your help. And seeing as you two are heads, it only makes sense you two should be more mature."
Hermione bit her lip as Mcgonagall continued.
"He already agreed and it would be rude to stand him up seeing as you have five minutes till you are late."
"He…..he agreed?" Hermione asked bewildered.
"Ah, Miss. Granger, he requested you." She answered before dismissing her.
Hermione entered the library nervously as she roamed through the shelves looking for Malfoy. She finally spotted him sitting at a desk at the back of the library. The area was deserted as she walked up to him. He had his transfiguration open as she sat down next to him.
"I thought you didn't want to be friends." Hermione spat a little harsher than she meant to.
He flinched. "You are my tutor." He said playing with his quill.
"You requested me." Hermione pointed out.
He sighed. "That woman can't keep a secret can she?" He asked annoyed.
"You're getting off topic." Hermione snapped.
"Look. I want to be friends. I do. I just can't. You wouldn't understand." Malfoy said pleadingly.
"Try me." Hermione said crossing her arms. She wasn't giving out without a fight. She wanted to know the truth and she wanted it now.
"You are so stubborn." He grinned weakly. She narrowed her eyes. He sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "I can't okay? I can't for reasons I can't describe. So please. Spare me the trouble and move on."
She looked down and drew out her wand. "Fine. Let's begin."
They finished the session off an hour and a half later. They were both tired as they made their way to the common room.
She departed for her bedroom almost immediately refusing to look at him.
She fell into a restless sleep and not long after, there came a trace of whispers coming from the common room.
Instinctively, she picked up her wand and walked to the door. She pressed her ear to it.
"Draco, please be careful! Dolohov is still out there! And Rookwood and Rodolphus Lestrange and Macnair and Yaxley! You must be careful. Please, give me some peace of mind and don't come home for Christmas. I want you to sweetheart but it's too dangerous. Stay at Hogwarts, where it's safer and-"
"Mother I'm not leaving you alone for Christmas. Your depression is more important and I'm coming. I know they are still out there but I can handle myself Mother. I know them and they're all too wussy to come after me in public on the train. Besides, I can't stay here." Malfoy responded.
"Draco, you are staying there. Please. I am a lot happier than normal and I need you to stay there. Give me some peace of mind. They are out there and they won't be afraid to go to the extremes of finding you. Just please stay there." Narcissa Malfoy pleaded and Hermione could hear sobs clearly now.
"Shhh! Mother! You'll wake the Hermio-the head girl." Malfoy hissed.
Narcissa sniffled. "Please Draco."
Draco sighed. And at that moment, Hermione knew she had got him. "Alright mother but please be careful."
"You too son. I love you." Narcissa said gulping.
"Love you too." Malfoy sounded exhausted.
Hermione was amazed. He really did become a death eater to protect his mother who may be the only person he loved.
"I know you're there." Malfoy said from the other side of the door.
Hermione turned beet red. She opened the door. "I'm sorry," She blushed. "How'd you know?"
"I had the Homenum Revelio on and sensed you." Malfoy replied and to Hermione's surprise, he was also blushing.
"Why didn't you call me out?" Hermione asked.
"I figured it was too late and that your stubborn Gryffindor self wouldn't let it slide." Malfoy answered crossing his arms. There was a moment of silence. "Now you know." He said.
"Know what?" Hermione asked completely confused.
"Why I can't be friends with you." Malfoy responded leaning against the wall. Damn, he looked hot. His hair framing his face, his chiseled cheek bones, set jaw and muscular figure. I could see why so many girls fell for him.
"Because of the escaped death eaters? So what? Aren't they your friends? And I can take them." Hermione said sharply.
"I am aware that you can "take them" but they are not my friends Granger. And please, I thought you were smart. Think. What did I do in the middle of the battle that might just make the Voldemort supporters hate my guts?" Malfoy drawled.
Hermione's brain churned as she processed this. "You switched sides." She murmured. He had switched to assist the good side.
"Correct. And do you see why I can't have any friends?" Malfoy asked becoming grave.
"I faced your aunt and I've seen Voldemort and I hunted horcruxes and I defeated traps set up to protect the Philosopher's stone. I faced death eaters in the Ministry of Magic. I can handle it." Hermione answered forcefully.
"Why would you want to be my friend anyways?" Malfoy asked impatiently clearly realizing she would win that point.
Hermione considered this. Why did she want to be his friend so badly? "Because you're the only one that seems to really get me to relax after everything and I have no bloody idea why. You made me realize, you, out of everyone made me realize that I needed to stop depressing over my breakup with Ron and to become myself again. And now it's my turn to repay everything you've done." Hermione answered looking him squarely in the eye.
He studied her for a while. he stepped close to her. So close, their noses were touching. His breath came out sharply but in calmly. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into." He murmured firmly and a little pleadingly.
"I know perfectly." She answered never breaking eye contact. There was good in him. It would just take a while for him to get accustomed to it.
"No Granger. You really don't." Malfoy said narrowing his eyes.
"Don't get me started on what I don't and do know." Hermione warned.
"And why not?"
"Stop getting off topic! I know exactly what I'm getting into and I'm fine with it. I'm fine. You are the only one who's not fine with it." Hermione whispered softening at the last bit.
He inhaled sharply. "I told you. I want to be friends with you. But, I'm not letting you get in the line of fire!" he said forcefully.
He had said a really nice thing in a really harsh way. So she would let it slide. "You're in the line of fire too!" Hermione pointed out. "And need I remind you, you're not alone in this. Like a wise man once told me...ah it was: But if you keep hiding in your own world, away from others and you keep shutting those outside of you who might just be your friend….you're never going to know what could've been." Hermione said putting her hands on her hips.
Malfoy couldn't suppress the laughter and he started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Hermione asked slightly irritated.
"You." He managed to gasp out between laughter. "Merlin Granger. You could be a kick ass lawyer."
"I'm going to remember the reference you made to a muggle job." Hermione said as she crossed her arms.
Malfoy stopped laughing. "See again!" Malfoy said with a cheshire grin.
"Malfoy. I'm going to get you out of your shell and I'm going to be your very best friend whether you like it or not." she stated firmly straightening her shoulders.
Malfoy began breaking into hysterics again. She had never seen him laugh let alone crack a grin.
He finally regained his posture. "And you're really sure about this?"
"Positive." Hermione said sincerely. They looked at each other for a while.
To her surprise, his eyes teared slightly. She pulled him into a tight hug without hesitation.
"Thanks Granger." He murmured. "I suppose you want to know about my little chat with my mother?"
Hermione nodded and led him to the couch. She leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Well, from what you heard, she's just very worried because I've been getting threat notes from all my fellow death eaters and my father has even warned me about it from Azkaban. They keep telling me they'll kill me and everyone I love for helping the side kill their master. Blah blah blah. And that's exactly why I can't be friends with you." Malfoy said as he quickly removed himself from Hermione. "If they found out you were my friend, especially with their er...views on blood status….it wouldn't end well and I couldn't bear to be responsible for that."
"I can take care of myself." Hermione whispered quietly.
"I know you can. But these men are crazy and dangerous. I'm not like my father. I'm not putting others in danger for my personal benefit. And if you can take care of yourself, you'd see why we can't be friends." Malfoy said rubbing his eyes. It was early morning and we were both exhausted.
"They won't know a thing." Hermione said standing too.
"They have ways Granger. You wouldn't believe…." Malfoy trailed off
"You can't hide forever." Hermione whispered pleadingly, willing him to see. "I'll contact Harry and let him know to start tracking these specific death eaters. You can't hide forever Malfoy. Not from me."
Author's Note
I know it seems like their friendship has started quite quickly but since the chapters are fairly long, the days pass and they get closer. Within a couple chapters they should at least be friends.
Pls review!
