The first line of the next chapter, and already Ness is breaking his promise, that little shit. Instead of continuing the screaming and the realization of his toys' final forms, Ness put them back down and gazed with some wistful emptiness at the ceiling, in a still trance that lasted as long as one or two minutes.
Then he shook his head and picked up the Monkeytron.
"Y'know, since Yoshi isn't here today," he said, "how about you come along with me today?"
He shook the Monkeytron's head with a wag of his finger.
"Alrighty then, let's go!" Ness jumped up, slinging a bag over his shoulder and zipping open its top compartment in order to nestle Monkeytron snugly inside. In his rush to get up and finally get the day started, the sole of his right shoe just barely displaced the Yoshi doll's balance. It fell over. Ness looked down to see the doll leaning against his leg, as though in quiet plea to accompany him on his grand undertakings.
Ness hesitated only for a second, before scooping up the Yoshi doll and stuffing him into the uneven spaces he had left in his bag.
"Guess you're the next best thing to the real Yoshi," he muttered to himself as he sealed the bag again. Then he adjusted his cap so that a malicious shadow cast over his eyes, further exemplifying the manic gleams that shone in each of Ness's pupils.
"Look out world, here I come!" he shouted as he pulled open his door and bounded through the corridors. As we watch his boyish back retreat further and further into the depths of a hallway, a catchy tune in 4/4 time signature reminiscent of 60's pop rock plays out of nowhere, in perfect harmony with the set of lyrics about to follow. As the detail they encompass will vary largely in setting, please be reminded that the events taking place are happening in rapid montage, cherry-picked to feature select scenes capturing a day in the life of the Smash Mansion's resident prankster. In addition, each line of the song shares the same recurring imagery – of Ness smiling and laughing and just having a blast with his Super Duper Ultra Mega Mecha Monkeytron, while largely neglecting, and even mistreating, his Yoshi doll. As an example: The first line of this song sings of Ness playing baseball with his best friend. Perhaps Ness swings his bat at a baseball thrown by Super Duper Ultra Mega Mecha Monkeytron, only to accidentally smack the Yoshi doll dressed as an umpire behind him. Who knows?! Take a wild ride with your imagination, dear reader, and sing along!
Play some baseball with your best friend
Read comic books with your best friend
Throw stones at cars with your best friend
Fix old submarines with your best friend
Rise and shine, have a ball of a time, with your best frrriii~eeennnddd!
Steal Ike's Ragnell with your best friend
Sell it online with your best friend
Blame it on Ryu with your best friend
Watch grown men fight with your best friend
It never gets old, making memories of gold, with your best frrriii~eeennnddd!
Wear a Redead suit with your best friend
Scare Peach witless with your best friend
Realize she was making a sewing tutorial video to put up on SmashTube and she's totally pissed at you and your best friend
Run away because she's gonna kill you and your best friend
Watch her scream and shout, a little something about –
"I'm going to kill you Ness!" she screamed, bringing the music to a screeching halt as she threw golf clubs, frying pans, tennis rackets, and hapless Toads at the fleeing, madly-cackling youngster who was still trying to pull one leg out of his Redead suit. "You and your little…"
Her voice trailed off to nothingness as Ness rounded the corner, but it mattered not as the voice finally resumed:
Your best, oh yes, your absolute best, best frrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddd!
The door to Ness's door slammed open, revealing in its entrance Ness himself. His face shone of triumph, and he further communicated this in its verbal form as he zipped Super Duper Ultra Mega Mecha Monkeytron out of his bag and breathed, "Boy, what a great day, huh pal? That was fun, wasn't it?" To which Super Duper Ultra Mega Mecha Monkeytron had no reply, but there was no need for one – Ness simply twisted Monkeytron's arm into a salute stance, adopted another one of his deep, valiant voices, and rumbled, "It was my honor, Commander Ness, to accompany you on your heroic adventures to maintain law and order in this world."
"Ah, stop having such a pole up your ass and go treat yourself a drink or something," Ness smirked as he finished his play and carefully rested Monkeytron alongside his Starman. He was just about to close his bag when a stroke of green caught his eye.
"Oh, right. You." Ness lifted the Yoshi doll out of his bag. The fresh quality of its newness was gone, and now it was black and muddied in various places, the consequence of rough play not fit for its physique. Once again, Ness hesitated, staring into the blank button eyes as its head flopped onto his left wrist. Then, holding it up with his right hand, Ness pulled the tongue and listened closely to what it had to say.
Yoshi! No – Ness – Wow! Losing – mind – please – Yoshi!
"Broken," Ness muttered to himself as the voice was once again silenced by the return of tongue into mouth. Ness stood still, pondering many thoughts for a solid ten seconds – but one stood out the clearest among the chaos of its brethren, and Ness, after firmly nodding his head in affirmed resolution of his decision, walked over to the donation box and dropped the doll inside.
"See ya tomorrow, Yoshi," Ness muttered as he crawled into bed.
