Hermione sat curled up on the seat by her bedroom window. She gazed at the stars and thought about how everything went wrong.
"You can't go around making promises and assuring me that you're trying to change, making me believe that you're going to, and then tell me you can't. You can't what? Keep a promise? Because you said this wouldn't be a mistake. Trusting you. Whatever your sulking or angry about, don't release it on me. I want to be there for you but like you said, I can't unless you let me in. You are being a hypocrite and I thought you were going to change." Hermione had said through anger and doubt and disbelief.
"Add that to the list of things I am. And I have changed. But clearly, not for the better. No one expects such a devilish beast like me to be different. And they never will." Draco said almost apologetically before turning around and walking off.
What he hadn't heard her say was: "I will."
And she would. If of course she could.
She decided she needed to sleep, so she headed to bed with confusion and anger in her heart. She turned and twisted but she couldn't seem to be able to sleep. She fluffed her pillow. She couldn't sleep. She kicked off her blankets. She couldn't sleep. She ruffled her bedsheets. She couldn't sleep. She threw her pillow across the room in anger. She couldn't sleep. She finally let out an angry, upset and rejected scream and hit her pillow.
There were pounding footsteps as her door swung open and in ran an alarmed and armed Draco.
"What's wrong?" He asked looking around for signs of any danger. He looked like he had just woken up from a restless sleep. His hair was a mess and his eyes were groggy.
"Sorry. Nothing." She muttered flopping onto her bed. She heard her door click shut and retreating footsteps.
One thing was for certain. No matter what he had said before, he still cared. The proof was his reaction to her scream.
Hermione woke up startled, a few hours later. It was 3 in the morning and there was thrashing and moaning and mutters from the other room.
She leaped to her feet and gripped her wand.
She tiptoed to the other room. Unlike Draco, she wanted to catch the intruder by surprise.
She slowly turned the handle to Draco's room.
"No! Please! Don't! Leave her! Petrificus Totalus! Avada Kedavra! Crucio! Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Screw off! Leave!" there were sobs coming from Draco as he lay thrashing and squeezing the sheets on his bed. He looked so pained and anguished, it was terrifying to watch. He gave one lurch and scream as he pounded his pillow. It snapped Hermione out of her shock and she rushed to his bed.
"Draco! Draco! Wake up! It's me!" Hermione said shaking his shoulder. He screamed once more and batted his hands around before sitting up straight and staring around terrified.
Wordlessly, Hermione summoned a glass of water and handed it to him. He took it gratefully and gulped it down. He sighed and leaned into the headboard. He finally met her eyes and he went rigid. She stood there awkwardly.
"Do you want to share?" she asked uncertainly.
He shook his head a positive no and muttered his thanks as she exited the room.
A promise was a declaration that someone or something will happen or do something. But it was also more than that-words that are said aloud that are meant to be meaningful and truthful. It was also something to hold on to. To be assured that somewhere out there, someone had sworn and vowed something dear to you and to have that close to your heart, you felt safe.
Hermione sighed as she leaned into her seat at the back of the library. She wa waiting impatiently for Draco to show up for their Wednesday tutoring session. McGonagall had called her after class yesterday and had warned her that his marks were steadying slightly but he wasn't doing homework properly nor classwork.
He was late. Of course. She tapped her wand on the table impatiently. She looked out the window and saw Draco's Slytherin quidditch team flying down and he appeared to be yelling at them. She saw him yelling and glaring at the team.
There was a sudden tap on her shoulder and a frightened 1st year handed a note to her and disappeared.
She read it over and crumpled it before stomping out of the library. Draco had scribbled out a note saying he had to skip the session because quidditch ran over. What a waste of her time. At least he had the courtesy to let her now, no matter how late or inefficient. She could have been waiting there forever.
She walked slowly and irritated back to her dorm. She bumped into a tall figure and snapped out of her thoughts.
"What the hell did you do?!" An angry voice demanded. Hermione turned to see a fuming Zabini standing before her, still dirty and sweaty from quidditch practice.
"I have no idea what you're talking about and if you have anymore things to say, you could be polite or don't say anything at all." she snapped glaring at him.
"Don't give me bullshit. You told me you would be his light. Draco's light. You promised and you mudblood dare go make him crazy over you then stomp on his heart when he needs you most? You disgust me." Zabini said glaring back with equal hate. Hermione felt herself go still at the mention of Draco.
"I did no such thing. I actually tried to be there for him but he told me not to. He wouldn't let me in. He shut me out. I don't know what rubbish he's been feeding you but they are wretched lies! And I advise you to check your facts before you go around accusing people." Hermione said turning to leave. "And." she said walking close and looking at him in the eye. "I did not promise anything." she said before walking off.
Promises were complicated. They were bound to you no matter what. That's why you should never make one unless you intend to keep it. You get someone's hopes up then crush it. It's false. It's fake. It's. Not. True.
They're dangerous if you think about it. Setting you up just to watch you burn. If he hadn't promised maybe her hopes wouldn't be up and she wouldn't be all depressed and rejected. What does I can't mean? She was trying to be friendly. Nothing more and he brings up how he can't. He can't bloody what?
Hermione rolled onto her side at the dead of night. How did everything go wrong? And how did it go wrong so fast? She kept telling herself that she should just leave it. It was Draco Malfoy afterall. But he wanted to change. He had told her that. Whatever was preventing him was really getting on her nerves. She finally lolled herself to sleep cursing Draco inwardly. Malfoy. Not Draco. Draco was when they were friendly. Now….they were Granger and Malfoy. Pureblood and mudblood.
"Crucio!" the shrill voice of Bellatrix screeched, directing her wand at Hermione. A writhing Hermione began screaming on the floor of Malfoy Manor as the spell bestowed an excruciating pain beyond anything.
"Please." Hermione pleaded. "I didn't take anything." she cried.
"How dare you lie, you filthy mudblood!" Bellatrix yelled throwing another unforgivable. This was the only time, Hermione had actually wished for the other unforgivable curse-Avada Kedavra. She had wanted to die so badly in that moment, when all hope seemed lost and that she was sure to have been kept in torture till her life was ended some other way. The quicker the better.
"Crucio! Crucio! You slimy mudblood! You deserve nothing but what you are getting!" Bellatrix bellowed aiming another Cruciatus curse. Hermione screamed again, feeling her insides wanting to come out and the sense of dread and agony filled her.
"Hermione! Hermione!"
Hermione jerked straight and looked all around in alarm. Draco was shaking her shoulder and was watching as tears made their free fall down her cheeks.
"No! Please!" Hermione whispered hugging her knees.
"It's alright. It's over." Draco said softly, pushing her back down on the bed. He pulled the covers up to her and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"You promised." Hermione whispered before fading into a dreamless sleep.
There was a pecking at the window early in the morning. Hermione groaned and stepped out of bed to open the window. In flew Harry's owl Lana who looked exhausted. He must have had her flying everywhere delivering mail. She tore open the letter and scanned it over.
Hermione,
I miss you too. Maybe we can meet at the next Hogsmeade visit? I was planning on meeting Ginny then too. Let me know when it is.
As for Malfoy. I can't believe you believe what he said! And I know we both stood up for him in court but still. He's Malfoy! But, I will send a few aurors to keep an eye on Hogwarts three times a week to ensure that there are no death eaters seeking revenge. There are teams going out everyday to look for the escaped ones and we haven't found any yet. I'm going out today to see if we can find Yaxley. We have a few leads but everything ends in a dead end.
Hope everything's going alright and don't study too hard.
Harry
P.S. I have some exciting news to tell you at the Hogsmeade visit!
Hermione smiled and fingered the letter before writing out a reply. She wrote down the next Hogsmeade visit date and her thanks to the extra aurors checking on the castle.
She headed down in a rush to breakfast, desperate not to be late to class.
"Will you stop gawking and get a move on?" Draco snapped. Hermione rounded the corner to see him scolding some 4th years.
"I just took away 10 points for running in the halls and they decide to ask me out. The nerve!" He turned to see Hermione and he paled. He hurried off and without a word entered the Great Hall.
Hermione sat in Charms, her last class of the day when a cat patronus flew in and delivered professor Flitwick a message.
"Miss Granger?" Flitwick asked from where he was standing on his desk. Hermione looked up from where she was copying down a list of charms to be tested on the next class.
"Professor McGonagall would like you to come to her office immediately. You are dismissed and I am sure you will be fine for the test next class." he said assuringly before returning to the board to write out the rest of the charms.
Hermione packed up her stuff and headed to the headmistress' office nervously. What was the matter now?
She entered the room and to her surprise, Draco and Harry were sitting there sending wary and glances of dislike towards one another.
"Now that is here, Harry if you may?" McGonagall said from behind her desk.
"Thank you." Harry said nodding towards McGonagall. "Hermione had asked me to send some aurors to keep an eye on the castle after she told me about your threat notes ." Harry said speaking as an auror not Malfoy's school enemy. Malfoy cast a wary and accusing look at Hermione before nodding at Harry.
"I had stationed Savage and Proudfoot to keep an eye yesterday and they picked up a very positive and dangerous sign." Harry said seriously. Hermione knew then that despite his differences with Draco, his auror side was coming out at the moment. Or it was because McGonagall was no less than a foot apart. "They were in Hogsmeade when Madam Rosmerta came running towards Savage and Proudfoot claiming that she was just in the Hog's Head and there were two hooded figures drinking and cursing loudly. The aurors rushed to the Hog's Head but they were gone. She claimed to have heard the words- "Death, bloody stuck up and cowardly kid. Blond mutt and revenge." Those are all words that they presumed similar to your case and they sent patronus' to the auror office requesting backup. Hogsmeade was under lockdown because there was suspected death eaters on the loose. After 3 hours we found no evidence except for the death mark that lingered at 11 last night." Harry said gravely.
"Was there a body?" McGonagall asked and we were all dreading the answer.
"Yes. There was a wizard out shopping who was breathing his last breaths when we found him. The two words he said were- Yaxley and Dolohov. Both of whom are wanted and death eaters who might be the suspects for your case ." Harry concluded. Malfoy's face was grim and looked like he was expecting the answer.
"Thank you Harry." Hermione said squeezing his hand. He nodded and squeezed back.
"Thanks Potter." Malfoy said expressionless. It was better than a rude and ungrateful retort. Harry looked taken aback but nodded.
"We're extending it to 5 days of supervision and we're doing separate searches elsewhere." Harry said before standing and shaking everyone's hand and hugging Hermione.
"Take care Hermione. And be careful." Harry whispered. She nodded and squeezed his shoulder.
"Don't work to hard." Hermione said. Harry grinned before exiting the room.
It had been a day since the death of the shopper in Hogsmeade. All the teachers seemed more on edge and on guard lately. Just because Voldemort, their leader was gone, didn't mean his followers were.
Malfoy had been pale and isolated since the death too. In a few cases, the stress or whatever he was feeling must have gotten to him. He took it out on the students nearby which was unfortunate for them. A few Ravenclaw 3rd years were giggling and pointing towards him yesterday and he went ballistic with them.
Hermione sighed and shook her head as she headed to her DADA class.
Professor Giurbin walked in and began writing their previous homework answers on the board. She took hers out and began checking them. The class worked in silence. It was strange, but she could feel those grey eyes on her back as she worked. She didn't dare to turn and see if she was correct. Somehow, she knew.
There were sudden alarms blaring and lights flashing. Giurbin as usual remained expressionless as he stopped writing to address us. McGonagall's patronus ran in delivering the message to Giurbin before he spoke.
"Those lights have signalled that the Hogwarts school is having a lockdown. There is an intruder in the school. Please remain calm. Return to your dormitories. Prefects ensure all members of your houses are in their respective dorms. Head girl and boy you are to patrol the halls on your way to your dorm and everyone is to use the locking charm when everyone is in their dorm. Don't let anyone in, they should know the password. Go quickly." Giurbin said monotone as he waved his hand. Hermione stuffed everything in her bag before rushing towards her dorm. She shooed a few second and first years to their dorms and had to rush a crying first year in the direction of the Gryffindor dorms. She finally made her way to her dorm, Malfoy huffing a few feet behind her.
"Beauty and the Beast." she wheezed before rushing inside and Malfoy slammed the door shut sealing it.
She took a deep breath and collapsed on the couch.
"You don't think…?" Malfoy asked uncertainly, speaking to Hermione for the first time in days and his voice was raspy and hoarse.
"The aurors and professors will handle this. Sit." Hermione said firmly directing to the opposite couch. He didn't listen and dropped his bag and began pacing. He ran a hand through his hair and furrowed his brows.
"If it's one of the death eaters on the loose wanting revenge...and some kids die...I can't forgive myself." Malfoy said finally turning to Hermione.
She stood and cautiously walked towards him. He met her eyes and she squeezed his hand.
"We'll figure this out. It's not your fault." she said firmly. "We got a lot of kids back to their dorms and it would be stupid of any of the death eaters to attack the school when they know that there are aurors and teachers in the area. It's plain stupid."
Malfoy smiled weakly before grimacing. He withdrew his hand and sighed. "Why do you keep helping with that persuasive mind of yours when I've already dismissed your help on several occasions?" Malfoy asked collapsing on the couch.
"Because I'm stubborn." Hermione said crossing her arms. "And...I care."
There was a silence that she was sure could be heard all the way on the other side of England.
To her surprise, Malfoy began tearing up. Tearing up. Malfoy. Well, he was human. He had shown her that.
"Stop helping me." He said putting his head in his hands. "I don't need help."
"But you want it." Hermione said sitting down beside him, unsure. She put an arm around his shoulders and rubbed his back. "You want help, your just to scared to admit it. Everyone needs help. Harry needed help taking down Voldemort. I need help. And so do you." She said as tears fell on her knee.
"What I want is different from what's right. That's why you should stay away from me...mudblood." He said knowing that it would be a big blow to her. All her life, she was made certain that she knew what she was, where she came from and her parentage and bloodline. She of course had learned to block it out, not be affected by it. Malfoy didn't mean it. He was bloody crying right now and he didn't deny the fact that he wanted help. So she would ignore the empty insult.
"You don't meant that." Hermione said loudly. "You want help and I'm here trying to give it to you and your worrying about things that aren't your concerns. I can take care of myself." She said growing angry.
"I never doubted how well you can take care of yourself." Malfoy said standing up in anger. "I want help okay? I want bloody help and I want it so bad! But I can't accept it from you or anyone else under the given circumstances. It's already put the whole damn school on lockdown. And if you're as smart as you are you would see that!" He shouted tears running down his cheeks. Hermione had never seen him so mad or angry.
"Don't you dare put this on me! This is your problem!" She said glaring at him.
"Exactly my point! This is my fight and you're getting into my business. So back. Off." Malfoy said stressing the last two words.
"Not that you git! I meant that your problem is that you refuse any help that anyone offers. You're only human. And I've seen live proof of that. You need help and you want it. You tell me that I have to get out of my shell and stop hiding and when I tell you that, you start acting like you don't need to either. Well guess what Malfoy? You do! You bloody well need it too! And you need to grow up and see that!" Hermione said tears welling in her eyes for some odd reason.
"I'm nothing but a-"
"Don't you dare start that with me again! Don't. You. Dare." Hermione warned.
"Have you read what people think of me? What people are recommending and demanding to the ministry?! Those were comments and reviews from people on what they think on the fact that I got let off Azkaban. I'm not sure I disagree. And you think because I want to change that all of that is gone. It's not Granger." Malfoy retorted with venom and hate for none other than himself.
"Your past is not forgotten Malfoy. Not by a long shot. But it can be mended. You said yourself you wanted to change. That alone is a big difference from what you've done. You were influenced and pressured into it and I know it doesn't erase what you did. Making amends and changing does." Hermione said feeling a tear roll down her cheek.
"You're wrong." Malfoy said stonily.
"Am I? Because I don't think so." Hermione said glaring angrily.
Malfoy shook his head and retreated to his room.
Hermione rushed to her room and locked the door behind her. She flopped on the bed and hugged her pillow. She couldn't believe how stubborn and determined he was. He wanted help but wouldn't except in when it was offered.
She would wait. That was all she could do right?
A few hours later there was a knock on her door. She opened it cautiously, her wand at the ready.
"It's me." Malfoy said. She opened the door wider and observed him. He had tired eyes and he had changed into dark black pants and a button up blue shirt. He looked….good. "A house elf came and dropped off dinner. The lockdown is still in motion." He said awkwardly at the last part. He was feeling bad for the fact it was likely because of him. He was similar to Harry in ways they would both never imagine. She nodded before following him to the common room.
There was a neatly made plate of mashed potatoes and gravy tray on the side. There was a basket of breads a jug of water and pumpkin juice. There was a bowl of fruits, a plate of salad and a platter of deserts. There was silverware for the both of them. The house elves must have been rushing because there would usually be more. They also probably had to deliver food to the 4 house dormitories.
They ate in silence. There were occasional shouts here and there and at one point she swore she heard Harry's voice. She was itching to go out there and help. Figure this out somehow instead of staying cooped up in the dorm feeling highly uncomfortable with Malfoy.
"I know you're dying to go and help." Malfoy said as we finished dinner.
"I'm also dying to help you." Hermione muttered under her breath as she headed to her room.
Malfoy sighed. "Let it go Granger." He said tiredly. She turned to look at him. "You have no reason to help me so don't. We're not even friends and merely acquaintances."
"I'm helping you because you want help even if you won't admit it. You also need a friend which we could have been earlier. I'm helping you because I heard your story and I can see you want to change. Like it or not, I'm helping." Hermione said feeling like she's repeated the same speech for the thousandth time.
"You'll get yourself killed." Malfoy said narrowing his eyes.
"It wouldn't be the first time." She said smiling weakly. "I'm helping." She said before walking into her room. "You promised me remember? You promised."
Author's Note
Will their friendship crash or burn?
Reviews pls!
