When his royal eunuch appeared before him with the news that Jung was at the palace asking to see him, So was surprised, to say the least. Though he could not dare to dream that Jung would ever be as kind as to visit him at all after all the bad blood between them, he still felt his heart rate quicken at just the thought of potentially spending time with his child. He could barely breathe as he waited for Jung and when the door flew open and Jung came into sight with the little girl by his side, he felt as if his heart was about to explode.
"Hello, your majesty." Jung greeted, bowing his head slightly before gently nudging the little girl by his side, who's eyes were wide with wonder at the pretty and intricately designed throne room.
"Hello, your majesty." The young girl said, suddenly as alert as ever.
"You don't have to-" So begin to say but the girl had already dropped to her knees and thrown her arms in front dramatically for a formal bow. So could only chuckle at the antics of the girl as the stories he had heard about Soo doing the exact same thing to his father reappeared in his mind.
"What's your name?" So asked inquisitively to the young child who had already gotten back on her feet and brushed herself off.
"S-" The girl began to say but this time, it was Jung who interrupted her.
"Before we go any further, I'd like you to read this letter. It's from Soo." Jung said, walking towards the throne to hand him an unmarked letter. So took the letter in his hands as he mentally prepared himself. He methodically opened the letter as best as he could with his hands shaking uncontrollably.
"Your majesty, my fourth prince,
If you're reading this, that means you have found out about our child and presumably now understand why I left you. I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness but I hope that you can at least understand why I had to do this. Because even though I loved you, even though I will always love you, I couldn't let our child live in a place like the palace where they could never live a happy life, far away from the people who would hope to harm her because that's what the love of a parent is like. You'll always put your child ahead of everything else
When I found out that I was pregnant, I was scared. I knew that I did not have long to live and I could not possibly leave her to fend for herself in the palace. I wondered if you would have let me keep her knowing my condition and in the end I knew you wouldn't because you would do everything you could to protect me out of love for me and in the end I would've resented you for it. I could not give up on the life that was growing inside of me because just as I loved you, I loved our child. It wasn't because I loved you any less but because this was the right thing to do. We had to take responsibility for the life that we had created and it was up to me to protect it so in the end, I sacrificed you, even though I felt like I couldn't live on without you, it was still the right thing to do. It was wrong for me to assume that you could've given me everything for you are a king who is destined for great things, one that will be remembered for eternity but regardless, for the rest of my life, I wil regret leaving you behind and breaking my promise to you and for that, I am sorry.
And even though it was selfish, I did this partly because I wanted a part of you that would only belong to me and nobody else and this child was it. This child was a testament to our love and would only ever belong to you and me and nobody could ever take that away. I would never have to share this child like I had to share you. This child would be the pure and unadulterated result of us.
Her name is Seol, Wang Seol. She has my eyes and nose but her she has your ears and mouth. I wish you could see our lovely daughter who is as joyful as a new years day and as pure and beautiful as the first snowfall of the season. I chose this name because I hope she remains so unadulterated and pure as these things. I'm sorry you that will never have the privilege of knowing our child but I hope you will understand why at the very least, why I did this. Because I know, I know with all my heart that you would have loved her and that you can spare her even a sliver of the love that you had towards me and understand that I threw my entire world away so our child could live a better life away from the palace and be free of all the games and bloodshed.
This is my last request of you, my love."
Forever yours,
Hae Soo"
So could feel the tears flood at his eyes as he read the letter over and over again until the tears blurred his vision and his sobbing drowned out all of his surroundings. He could practically hear Soo herself saying these words right now with her endless lecturing. Her handwriting that was so similar to his. He could almost even smell her scent of fresh flowers and morning breeze that always followed her. And even as far away as she was, Soo was right, the love he felt for Seol had the purest of intentions. His inclination to protect her, though uncharted territory, came to him so naturally, almost as though this was what he was destined to do.
"Why are you crying? Don't cry! Don't be sad." Seol said with the utmost determination as she unceremoniously ran up to the throne and wrapped her little arms around him. It drove him crazy that he say so much of Soo in Seol. Everything she did and everything she said reminded him of Soo and even now, he could see Soo's kindheartedness in their child. Soo never cared about how powerful or weak anybody was, she would always do everything to protect them and Seol seemed to be exactly the same. Even without knowing who he was she comforted him without any hesitation.
"Seol... your name is Seol?"So whispered. Putting names to faces only made this seem so much more real and scary. He wanted to hug Seol. He wanted to protect Seol. He wanted to give Seol the world. But she was just Seol, she could never be Princess Seol and she would and could never find out about her true bloodlines. Seol dabbed at his tears with the sleeves of her robes as one of her tiny hands gripped his hand, eyes filled with determination to ease a complete stranger of his pain.
"Yes! My name is Seol! Wang Seol. And Wang Seol hates it when other people are sad. Please don't cry. What can I do to make it better?" Seol said, looking him straight into his eyes.
Wang So shook his head as he ran his caressed her cheek and then hesitantly lifted his hand to the lotus hair pin that she was wearing once again. He ran his fingers over the smooth surface of the stones. The exact same hairpin that he had given to Soo all those years ago. He remembered the first time she had worn it at the prayer tower, a dream in sky blue and white and how she had nervously brushed her fingers over this same hairpin and now their daughter was wearing it. She looked just as beautiful as her mother.
"It's pretty isn't it?" Seol said.
So only nodded in response. It was impossible for him to muster even a single word.
"It was my mother's. I heard that this was her favourite hairpin and now it's my favourite hairpin too."
"Here." Seol said, pulling the hairpin out of her carefully braided hair and opened up his clenched first, placing the hairpin in the palm of your hand.
"Don't be sad anymore, mister. I'm lending you my pin so please don't be sad." Seol said, with a smile as bright as the sun.
"But.. this is your mother's hairpin. You told me that it was your favourite hairpin." So said. How could a child be this selfless and kind to someone she had just met? How could she give up something so precious to her?
"I'm only lending it to you! I trust you, mister. You can't be sad anymore, ok? Promise me!" Seol said. So immediately willed himself to try his best to put on a smile nodded.
"I'll be back soon to collect so take good care of my pin for me! When I come back to visit you, you can't be sad anymore, ok?" She said earnestly.
"I promise." So said, with a pure a genuine smile he stuck his pinky finger out to Seol and she immediately returned his pinky promise.
"Goodbye! Be happy!" Seol said before giving him one last hug and running down the steps towards Jung.
"Thank you." So said, standing up and bowing deeply to Jung who nodded in return. He watched as Jung and Seol made their way towards the entrance.
"Seol..." So said, as Seol and Jung stopped right before the door and turned around.
"Yes?" She said, facing him now.
"Your mother would be very proud of the person you are." So said with a smile. A giant grin immediately appeared on Seol's face as she waved goodbye and merrily made her way out of the room.
Wang So looked down at the hairpin in his hands, running his fingers against the surface before he closed his eyes and held it to his face as remembered the beauty of the prayer tower in the spring.
/A/N: I'm not really satisfied with this chapter but I've been really busy with school lately so I just wanted to get this chapter out while I still had the time. Sorry ;:"/
