Summary:
Pronunciation Guide for Character Names:
Xaraeyn [ZAY rain]
Raeyn [rain]
Xayoimea [ZAY oh ME]
Andronea [AND ron EE uh]
Androxyn [AND rocks zin]
Nikolaes [NEE coh lace]
Xaya [ZAY uh]
I should have given this sooner, my apologies for overlooking it. 3
Notes:
Just a few things-there is a part in here that I did not supply pronunciations or explanations for-you'll find that at the end of the chapter because I felt like it would destroy the flow of the scene by causing you to interrupt to check the meanings. I did my best to give the meanings right there in the chapter. =o)
Be sure to check my tumblr for updates and more info!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go
Wherever You Will Go
The Calling
Message-ID: c5f7e125729f4c1ab73bd41fdef669c2-ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
X-Mailer: IntergalacticTransmissionModule Galaxy/89er72o8974edjfog883-LOC
ITM-Version: 5.2.14
Encryption: .codeSECURE
Failsafe: TRUE-interception -382882340Droid23fjdfks-EmbassyALD
To: Xayoimae Revel ITM-ID-er8440983llkgldfk93fd349-954352
Subject: IT HAPPENED!
Receipt: 3443lsdk553lf-s2stul
From: Raeyn Revel ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
Eldae'na,
Today my life changed. Every molecule in my body reorganized, renewed. There was not a piece of me that was unaffected. You told me it would be like this, but I just didn't know. ((EEEEEEEE)), it was like I never saw anything before. There are at least fifty new colors I can see—and everything is so bright and beautiful.
He was there.
He is real.
His name is Torian.
You knew how I have struggled—and I had started to doubt if the force really intended for me to be alone. Then, he was there, and his spirit was so beautiful, it just was so clear and bright and it took my breath away….it was fractured, yes, I sensed extraordinary pain in his life—I saw the scars on his soul—so deep—but he was absolutely beautifully broken. He matched my soul, it was…I can't even describe it. I'll have to show you when I see you again.
Before you ask, yes, I am okay. It has taken several hours for me to be able to take a deep breath. The pain…it was horrible. It's faded some now, but I know it will be there always when I am away from him. I'm okay with that. If I were to never see him again, it was worth knowing what truly being alive feels like.
I don't know how or even if he will fall in love with me or not, and it is my deepest held fear. I know I can't demand, or coerce anything, and I know that I have to be patient. I promise I will be. I will not seek him out. I will trust the force to bring us together again as you and Dae have taught me.
For tonight? As I lay my head down to sleep—I find I have new emotions I never knew existed before. Is this what love feels like? Not true love, I know that, but…the infatuation? I can't stop thinking of him. All at once the idea of love is so exquisite, the small taste has my heart bent on craving more. I want to unfold every petal of love's beauty. Is this what hope feels like? Joy? Peace? Happiness? True forms of each of those have arisen anew in me. I had no idea, I thought I did, but now I know—what I have felt in the residual overflow from others—it was just a fraction of the reality.
I'll always understand how Andronea feels about Vette now. And I better understand Nikolaes. He's stronger than I ever gave him credit for. I just didn't know. I still don't know how he is doing what he is. I wish he'd listen to reason! I'm going to talk to him—to try again, maybe Dae could talk to him too? Ohhh, I can't wait for Androxyn to meet his bond! I hope the spark is there for them like it was for me! I want to make Xaya show me her bond—I want her to know this—but she's so stubborn. You are going to have to talk to her! Anyway, I thought I knew but I didn't. Thank you for taking so many years, so much time, to prepare me for this—I admit, I wasn't exactly in control despite all of the preparation—it would seem that no amount of explaining could ever do this justice. I couldn't have done it without you, without Daedae. Without any of you. Thank you.
Sleep sweet wherever you are Eldae,
Raeyn
Raeyn had rushed up the boarding ramp into the ship like her tail was on fire. She felt pretty sure that there were at least six other bounty hunters in this city who were desperately trying to corner her to get rid of their competition. She was torn between her normal "bring it on" attitude, and the feeling that she should avoid putting her crew in any unnecessary potentially harmful situations.
Things were so much simpler when I was the only one I had to worry about.
The moment the thought crossed her mind she grabbed her chest from the ache that ran through her. No, she wouldn't trade this overthinking for the loneliness she felt before. She was thankful to have people in her life who she felt the need to protect.
She slapped the panel to close the hatch, hit the intercom button and called out to tell Mako to take off immediately. She smiled when the engines revved up, preparing to lift. She was also insanely thankful to have such a lovely ship for her own.
She was thinking about the list of other things she was thankful for when she turned the corner and ran smack dab into one at the top of her list.
"Torian! Oh my gravy!" she backed up, a furious blush painting her cheeks pink, "I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going!"
He laughed lightly, shaking his head, "No worries, wasn't either."
An awkward silence, one that they were both intimately familiar with at this point, settled over them. Torian had joined her crew almost two months earlier, and in that time Raeyn had learned a few things about him, and more about herself. Mainly that she was absolutely horrible at flirting. She'd tried. Her words still came out too…too…disconnected. She didn't mean to be that way, but she never had really flirted with anyone—everything she'd said or done before in that context was contrived to elicit a particular response from the recipient.
She didn't know what she was doing with Torian.
At all.
Torian finally broke the silence, his feet shuffling as he spoke, "Champion, do you think once we're in clear space we could talk?"
Raeyn couldn't stop her eyebrows from shooting up, "Ah, sure, that would be just…fine—when I am done I can—I'll meet you…"
She had no idea what kind of talk Torian had in mind, so hesitated on the location.
"We can meet in the cargo hold?" Torian suggested, the words sounding like it wasn't something he'd already decided was the perfect spot for a more private talk, the walls in the area layered more than any other walls in the ship in case you were transporting noisy cargo.
"Sure," Raeyn nodded, shuffling past him, "See you in a bit!"
He nodded and watched as she walked with purpose to the front of the ship to finish giving Mako flight instructions.
Torian went back to the cargo hold where he'd arranged a makeshift table out of a crate and a parcel of fabric he'd found in one of the crates that had been there when Raeyn had "acquired" the ship. He'd set up two other crates on their sides for chairs. He settled onto the crate facing the door, crossing his feet out in front of him, leaning his back against the bulkhead and closed his eyes. Sleep had been restless the last few weeks for him.
He kept his eyes closed even though he heard the soft steps from Raeyn entering the hallway that was adjacent to the one that led to him. He smiled, thinking of how easily he could tell her apart from everyone else. Her steps were gentled, a small sound, no doubt something that she'd learned by necessity in her trade of work. If he weren't the hunter he was, he'd never even hear her coming.
The sound of her taking a deep breath before turning the corner to enter the area tickled his ears. He couldn't help but smile, she was nervous. His eyes popped open when she stepped into the room.
She stood still for a moment adjusting to the dimly lit area, then moved to sit down on the crate across from Torian.
"Like what you've done with the place," she laughed, gesturing around and then her eyes stopped on the pallet on the floor, the blanket on top folded neatly, the pillow under it, and then some kind of padding below those, "Wait…are you….sleeping here?"
Her eyes cut across to study Torian who had sat up, his elbows on his knees leaning forward, "Moved in here a few weeks ago. Ever since we visited Belsavis—can't sleep in the bunks."
Her eyes narrowed considering this and then opened wide, "Skadge?"
He laughed, "Of course, she snores so loud I don't know how anyone within a parsec of us can possibly sleep!"
She nodded, "I know, I am thankful my room is upstairs and on the opposite end of the ship. Though, I don't think you should have to sleep in here…I don't like it, you need rest, and you deserve to be comfortable. Though unfortunately, this ship only has a single private bedroom…"
His eyes seemed to twinkle, "Is that an invitation, Champion?"
Raeyn's body produced a strange noise somewhere between a wounded varactyl and someone being choked to death before she managed to clear her throat, her eyes widened when he laughed at her softly.
"That's what I wanted to talk about, actually," he said lightly, his hands tapping the edge of the table with is fingers.
"About…my room?" She managed to say without sounding too petrified.
His entire body shook when he burst out laughing, shaking his head, "No, no…nothing like that…"
She couldn't help but laugh then, all of the nervous energy bubbling out of her.
He took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on her, "Actually, wanted to talk to you for a while. Been so busy…timing never felt right…but, I realized that if I keep waiting, we may never really talk."
Raeyn sobered at the way the mood in the room changed suddenly, desperately searching his aura for clues.
"I just…need to know what this is," his hands moved to gesture between the two of them, "you and me, what we're doing."
Forward. Blunt. Direct.
She should have been prepared for this. She wasn't. She knew she looked like a thief caught with their hand in the coffer. She had no idea how to approach this, what to say, how to do this. Her hands flew up in front of her chest, shaking lightly as if to fan herself, her eyes wide and her voice lost. Slowly, as if to comfort a wild animal, Torian reached his hand out and took one of her shaking ones, drawing it to the middle of the table where he held it lightly, his eyes focused on hers.
"It's okay," he whispered, "I'm all of those feelings too."
She took a shuddering breath, "You don't look it."
He shook his head, leaning closer, "Had a lot of years practicing to not let my feelings betray me."
She nodded, understanding what he meant, sad that she did, wishing she could undo the past for him. She wanted to know everything about him, but those things seemed so painful for him, she never wanted to bring it up.
"The day you were named Champion—something…happened to me…don't know what, but you changed me. Need to understand it."
"It's complicated," she rushed forward, her voice steadier than she thought it would be, "It's a lot to take in, and I don't want you to be overwhelmed…I'm not…good at this."
She faded off, her mind reeling on how to handle this, wishing her brothers had talked more about the practical aspects of this whole thing.
"We can take it a little at a time?" He whispered, pulled her hand a little closer so she had to lean forward more, "Talk a little every day? You can share as much as you want, when you are ready…"
He took a deep breath and then pushed onward, the words coming out in a rush, "I want to know you, all of you, everything. Spend all this time with you, and yet I want more. I find new discoveries every day I am with you—want to know you, to have more with you—is that something you want too?"
She couldn't speak—her heart was beating so wildly in her chest she could feel it outside of her body—and she wanted to use words to express how much she wanted that but just couldn't seem to summon them—so instead she just nodded her head, squeezing his hand hard.
"Good," he whispered, squeezing her hand back and then letting it go to pick up a small bag off the floor beside him, sitting it on the table in front of them, rolling it down to reveal brightly colored crystals inside of it, he couldn't help but smile when her eyes lit up as the colors were revealed, "I'll share too."
He pushed the bag toward her, "These are a Mandalorian treat—they are called 'worry crystals'—the idea is that if you put one in your mouth and let it dissolve slowly, by the time it is melted all of your worries will be gone. A pretty good trick for the younger Mando'ade."
He gestured for her to take one. She wanted to take them all. They were so bright and cheerful, and they looked like chunks of colorful glass.
She reached out, not thinking about what she was doing, her hand running across the surface of the candies, touching them and feeling them. Leaning her head down to see how the light changed their color.
"I'll go first…" he pushed the bag closer to her, then continued to speak, "I don't speak basic very well. I…I take my time to think of the words. I know words but making them work doesn't come easy for me because I started learning it so late in life. I'd never had much use for it—was in the clan, we all spoke Mando'a exclusively when we were together. Didn't meet many others…but I am going to learn to speak better...for you."
Her hand stopped moving, her eyes darting up to see his, her breath caught in her throat at the idea he was willing to do anything at all to make her happy, let alone work on a language for her.
"I want to learn Mando'a," she tilted her head at him, "so we will both be learning."
He nodded, and before he could speak she burst out, "I don't care if you can speak basic well, but honestly, I hadn't noticed it. But…thank you…for that and for this."
She tilted her head toward the bag, reaching forward, pulling out a purple one, drawing it in to sniff it…it smelled sweet. She popped it into her mouth, moaning when the taste of berries washed across her tongue, closing her eyes for a moment, taking it all in, before she opened them wide, practically shouting in her exuberance, "This is so good!"
She rolled it around on her tongue and tried to taste all of the different aspects of it, sounds of satisfaction echoing off the metal walls with each new discovery.
For his own sanity Torian had started counting the bolts on the wall behind her, as he'd learned to school himself when it came to Raeyn's responses to things that she enjoyed. She savored them, she took her time, and she experienced everything on a different level than other people. It was one of the things he most wanted to understand about her. That said, when she was especially enjoying something it was sometimes hard for him to stay focused because he found her exceptionally enticing during those moments—like her feelings were magnified to where he could experience them with her.
So far he'd counted twenty-eight bolts.
"I've just never tasted anything so perfect!"
Thirty-five.
"Mmmmm," she hummed lightly, her hand clenching on the table in front of her, "It's smooth, but has these tiny little edges to it. It's not like anything I've ever tasted before!"
Fifty-three.
His eyes darted back to Raeyn when he realized she had went silent.
"What are you doing?" She muttered, turning to look back behind her, finding nothing, she turned back to him, her expression quizzical.
He laughed, taking his hands and brushing them on his pant legs to wipe the sweat off of them, he knew he was blushing, something he rarely if ever did, but he couldn't help it, realizing that given her odd nature of reading people, he'd never be able to play this off, "I was counting the bolts on the bulkhead."
Raeyn's eyebrow shot up, her mouth twisting trying to make sense of what he said, glancing back at the wall and then to him again, studying him for a moment, and then her entire body was suffused with the rush of embarrassment as she realized how carried away she had gotten over the candy. She tucked it to the side of her mouth, taking a deep breath, letting her head drop down.
"Don't be like that," Torian spoke boldly, "I'm...I'm fascinated by your responses to the world around you. I don't want you to hide with me."
"I don't even mean to do it," she whispered softly, her eyes still cast to the box between them, "It just always seems to happen with you."
"Like that the most," he leaned his head down, attempting to catch her eyes, "You don't do that with anyone else. Think it means you're comfortable enough with me to be more you than anywhere else."
She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes shining, "That's true," she smiled, bright, happy under his observation, "I'm a work in progress though…I'm sure you've noticed."
He laughed lightly, "I've noticed that you are very detached and cold. Calculated, and severe with everyone else apart from the people on this ship."
She wanted to apologize, but realized he would scold her for it.
This was hard. She never talked about this with people. She'd spent years creating what often felt like a brick wall between her and other people to insulate her from the effect they had on her. Now, she stood on a precipice ready to dive into sharing everything with this man. It was both thrilling and terrifying all at once. The idea of someone apart from her family taking the time to learn, to know her, to dive into the complexities of who she was—what she was…exhilarating.
At the same time, behind all of the pretty ideas rest a very real fear. Rejection. Not only did sharing herself expose her to the possibility of being completely vulnerable—a position she truly loathed—but he might not even care about her once he knew. She already felt so invested in him after such a short time, the idea caused a true physical pain inside her for a moment.
She heard Torian take a breath, his hand reaching up to touch his chest before she cast the negative feelings aside. He'd taken an incredible risk—coming here to her, leaving everything that he had known and truly loved—being a Mandalorian in a clan who protected him—and then one day just letting it go so that he could follow her. No, she couldn't be afraid, it had no place here. This was one of the very few moments in her life where there was no room for restraint. She needed to dive into this and be real. If he rejected her it wouldn't be because she wasn't forthcoming enough with the truth about herself.
She attempted to explain, "I don't…I don't do this." She gestured between the two of them, then reached her hands together, wringing them in front of her as she spoke, "Talking to people. Explaining myself? Doesn't happen. Apart from Mako, I don't show who I am, not really, and even with her…there's reservation, because I have a hard time trusting people…it's a flaw, a serious one of mine, and one I know I have to get through if we are going to have a chance at this…whatever...this is."
He reached to stop her hands from moving against each other, holding them in his own, moving his crate forward with his feet, bobbing toward her, until he'd scooched around the side of the box to where his knees were touching hers. Something like a nervous giggle bubbled up out of her, as the connection settled over her, and she leaned her head down, embarrassed.
"I'm here…don't have to talk to me about anything you don't want to, or aren't ready to," he squeezed her hands in his once, "I'm not going anywhere."
She tried to simmer down, settle her nerves, but she was shaking, she could feel it in her bones.
"You can tell me the truth," he whispered, sincerity lacing his words, "I will keep it safe."
She took a shuddering breath, steeling her nerves, and then the words rushed out of her in a flurry, "I feel things stronger, harder than any normal person. Words, places, people, things—they affect me. It can be amazing, when it's controlled, when I feel the positive—it's beautiful—but when I am exposed to the negative, the ugly—it's devastating. I spend weeks recovering. I isolated myself for a good part of my life to avoid the pain. It was overwhelming when I was younger. Torian, I have walls, thick ones, hard ones, impenetrable ones—because it is too hard if I don't. I have learned to pretend. I have a public face, a persona—because acting is easy to do. I can control an entire environment when I am in character."
She shook her head, her hands gripping onto his as she tried to come up with words to explain this.
"I've been alone a long time. I have a very wonderful family and they are the only people who have been on the inside of my circle for the longest time. I think meeting Mako prepared me for you. She broke through my walls so easily. She was real, and honest, and I never saw a lie in her. She shined with love, and I loved her back. Then you," she looked up at him then, wanting to be honest, even though it was making her feel so raw and exposed, her body shook with the breath she took, "You showed up and I felt you…I feel you…different than anyone else."
Torian released the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding, her fear and discomfort causing the air around them to feel still and the space to feel small, he needed to know just one thing from her for today, and then he'd be satisfied, for now, "The thing happened to me, the day you were named Champion—is that part of what you are talking about?"
She laughed lightly, a bit of the stress falling away from her, the humor making her eyes crinkle, "I'm amazed you waited this long to ask me about that! I can't believe the amount of self-control you have!"
She took a deep breath then, shaking her head, trying to gather her courage. Facing sith? Fighting monsters? Easy. Telling someone how you feel. Hard as hell. Her voice was surprisingly strong when she spoke despite her trepidation, "I know what you felt the day we first saw one another…I felt it as well."
Her voice was soft and layered with emotion, "I have gifts, these abilities…really, everyone has them to different degrees, you know? That feeling that makes someone go a different direction than they planned? The uncanny ability to predict what your enemy is going to do next? Dumb luck? Not luck—ability—gift. People think being 'force sensitive' is an all or nothing kind of thing, but it's not. Everyone has access to it—obviously, most on a very rudimentary level—but everyone has it, and could potentially learn to wield it—though, some people are born having gifts in the force that will always be stronger than others. There are unlimited gifts, they take many forms. Some useful, others not so much. I can see the binds that draw people together. Like…literally, a glowing tether going from one person to another. In the same room or across the universe—I see it."
Torian sat forward, his eyes serious, she looked at him thinking she would see something negative there, but his face held only concern, "Is that good? Or…not?"
She shrugged, "When I first began seeing them it was a novelty—I enjoyed it, waited for the connections to meet and then I reveled in the happy emotions. It faded after a while, I guess. It became harder and harder to watch the connections meet. I've spent a lifetime watching other people follow their tether…finding completion, peace, joy—and sometimes devastation—I've seen people cut them, violently, disregard them, completely ignore it—and all the time, every minute, everyday—I saw mine…bright and brilliant, ever glowing—always calling to me. It always had your….essence—from the start. I felt it the closer I came to you in the universe."
She took a deep breath before she continued, so many words fighting to be shared, and knowing that explaining much more about it would just overwhelm him—she could see it in his aura already—this was just as complicated as she'd thought, and she wanted to be real but not at his expense.
Her voice solemn, sincere, her eyes connected to his, "I waited a long time for you, Torian."
"Been waiting for you, too," he whispered.
She pulled his hands forward until she had them grasped against her heart, closing her eyes for a moment to absorb the truth of the moment, and then released them, sitting back, rocking a little on her crate as she spoke, the topic making her insanely nervous. She was acutely aware he could still leave her running as fast as he could because he thought she was completely insane.
"What happened that day is called the "ai'nas'aer 'aerh'te"…it is translated in my native language as the "soul covenant". It starts as a "soulbond" which eventually leads to the covenant."
Her words were rushed, Torian rest his elbows on his knees leaning forward into her bubble, his attention fixated, "It doesn't mean anything stupid, like you don't have choices, or that you couldn't have stopped it. The entire experience is layered in choices, and the universe accepts equally even when someone denies the bond…it happens…more than you could guess. When you say…yes, you agree, on the level of your soul—it maybe isn't even something you know you did—but your soul must agree."
"I mean, I've seen hundred, if not thousands of souls who do not seek out their ai'nas'aer 'aerh'te—or even if they do find them, they don't have the spark—and without the spark it will always be a battle between them to create it—though with determination they can make it happen. Sometimes, even if someone knows their soulbond—they can choose to deny it, to lock it away—and then the other person wouldn't even know—not even if they are standing two feet away from each other. It's selfish, the most selfish thing someone can do, to deny their soulbond. It takes the choice away from the other person. I've known people who did it…denied it and walked away."
She laughed then, thinking about how she felt the closer she got to Torian, "I don't know how anyone could ever do that."
Torian nodded, his mind having drifted to the same memory as if it washed across him in a wave.
She knew it sounded crazy, but she was doing this, she'd already stepped out on faith so now that she was into it she charged forward, "Anyway, the tether—it shows the person who is your best match…as in...the singular someone in the universe who will make you better, stronger…whole…complete. I mean, it sounds like there is some kind of magic to it, but it's nothing like that."
She shook her head, taking a deep breath, "Okay, so maybe it's like magic—I don't know, I don't completely understand—it's more than just something that can be explained really—it's something other…it just IS. I can't make more sense of it—it's what it is, it doesn't change. It's universal. It's just a fact. Your soul knows things you aren't consciously aware of…it responds based on all of the information, not just the information you are aware of. There is a spark, sometimes there's not. It can be a challenge…I just…this is hard to explain…I'm sorry."
She shrugged, hoping he understood her chaotic rambling.
"I'm sure you have questions?"
Torian sat very still for what seemed like a long time, mulling over what Raeyn had told him about the experience they'd had together, his mind running in circles, "Why would a soul say no?"
Raeyn's eyes clouded as memories of broken tethers passed through her mind, her voice shaky, "I don't really know…like I said, the soul knows things that your mind doesn't. I sometimes think the soul has seen forward, maybe, and rebels against something that could happen? Or maybe it knows the truth of the past somehow? The best I can tell you is that there are two absolutes—the soul can make the decision to say no—and if the soul says no, it will never work. It's not possible. Likewise, the soul can say yes but your i'taism'te, your presence—the collective name for the parts that make you who you are—can deny the connection."
Torian pondered that for a moment, and then asked the question that had been weighing so heavily on him, uncertainty overshadowing everything, "So…the tether doesn't make anything actually…happen? It didn't force us together, or make me feel this way?"
"No, the tether is basically a map—leading you to the person—what happens after that is all about you and your soul."
He nodded as she continued, "The will can't be overruled. Nothing in the universe has the power to do that. Even now—you could walk away—even knowing what you do about the bond. If you decided to walk away—you would be able to."
His eyes widened at the thought, "I think I'd die."
The truth of what he'd said made him look down, startled at his own bluntness, but it was true. He couldn't imagine walking away from her, not now, not ever. She reached over to squeeze his hand softly, "I don't think I'd survive either."
He squeezed her hand back, his voice speaking knowingly, "Then that can be marked off your worry list, can't it?"
She couldn't help but laugh, her heart feeling lighter, I felt easier to talk—like the heavy stone that had been on her chest was tossed aside.
"So…souls?" he prompted her.
"Everyone refers to the "force" like it's some mystical thing only a few people are privy to, which is wrong—it's a living thing, and we are all connected to it…I know it as the "leitemae s'aer"—the "complete soul"…umm…souls, the part of us that exists apart from our physical form, are alive even when our bodies are not yet formed and alive even after these bodies would be gone. It's like…ummm…a glove!"
She held her hand up in front of her, wiggling her fingers, reaching into her pocket to pull out one of the work gloves she'd tucked in there earlier when she'd done some tinkering with the engine, slipping it onto her hand.
"My hand is like the soul, the glove like our body. Without the hand, the glove would be empty—lifeless—same for the body—the soul is inside the body the way the hand is inside the glove. It is what makes the body alive. The hand can exist without the glove—the soul can exist without the body. Does that make sense?"
Torian nodded, his brows furrowed as he was deep in thought, "Perfect sense. Mandalorian's believe the same…we believe all Manalorians are absorbed back into the Manda—it's a collective soul. Not much different than what you are explaining…seems just the same apart from different words."
Raeyn nodded, considering what she knew of the Mandalorian's culture, she had to agree that their tenets of belief were just the same—only different languages setting them apart.
"You are Mandalorian." Torian spoke firmly.
It was a statement, but also a question, she recognized this and responded as such, "Yes…but I still have a lot to learn."
She looked down at this, embarrassed, as she had been given the honor of being adopted into the clan by Mandalore himself, but she was so unknowledgeable about actually being a Mandalorian—and she'd not had time to do much research.
"You are Mandalorian already. I'd be honored to help you learn what you want to know. We could start with your Mando'a."
Absolute. Emphatic. She smiled.
Torian didn't say this as a request. He said it as a fact, and Raeyn was relieved, she needed a teacher—and she knew he was a devout Mandalorian. She wanted to honor him by being the best Mandalorian she could be.
"I would appreciate that," she meant it, smiling at him as she added, "Anything to spend more time with me, huh, Cadera?"
He laughed then, leaning over to pick up the bag of candy, his countenance relaxed, "Something like that."
"Good," she smirked, "I wouldn't want to be alone in wanting to spend more time together."
He had sealed the bag, and pulled one of her hands forward to set the bag into it, closing her fingers around it, smiling when she grabbed onto it and pulled it into her body as if protecting it from the world around it.
His words were laced with absolution.
"Not alone."
Not anymore, Cyare. Never again.
Message-ID: vkrp898540803klf903408959kf083l40f-ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
X-Mailer: IntergalacticTransmissionModule Galaxy/908907ujgf34234dfj34224-LOC
ITM-Version: 5.2.14
Encryption: .codeSECURE
Failsafe: TRUE-interception -353354780Droid23lkiursdf-EmbassyEMK
To: Xayoimae Revel ITM-ID-er8440983llkgldfk93fd349-954352
Subject: You'd be proud of me!
Receipt: dkj3999ss490ssdf-s2stul
From: Raeyn Revel ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
Well, we had our first "real" conversation about important things…sure, you know, we've talked but we've skirted around things a lot. I have realized that I basically suck at this whole thing. I can't flirt—yes, I tried. It was horrible. I think it mostly makes him feel uncomfortable, so I have stopped trying. I mean honestly, who in the world lives this long and doesn't know how to interact with someone of the opposite sex on any meaningful level? Apparently, just me.
Maybe I'll try again when we know each other better, but for now it's probably best I just say the truth—and while he startles sometimes by my bluntness—his aura still shines in response! So—anyway, about today! He asked about the bond—he knew, felt it of course—I actually told him it was impressive he'd waited this long to actually bring it up! Haha He wanted to know what it meant—if it meant he didn't have a choice to find me and feel this way (whatever way it is, I hope it's good!). I should have thought of him asking this and had an answer. As it was I just startled and told him NO! It's nothing like that!
I tried my best to explain to him that the bond doesn't really work that way—but I am not sure I did a very good job. I wanted to show him, but I don't think he's ready for that yet.…I emphasized that it's not possible for the will to be usurped. At all. :shrug: I don't know if it made any sense to him or not to be honest, but he seemed to understand.
Eldae, where's my manual on this? Kinda feel like I'm floundering along.
Sleep sweet!
"Why do I have to again, Ahdae'na?" Xaraeyn whined in the tone and manner that only a five-year-old could, with the kind of persistence and fortitude that only a father could have enough patience to endure, "I want to go play with the others. Please?" She drew out the word with her tiny eyelashes fluttering, her heart shaped pink lips bent into a pout.
"'Cause I said so, Tumble—now turn around and do it again," her father's voice was gruff, yet edged in a kind of tenderness that others would find impossible coming from an infamous pirate of his renown.
Her hands flew to her hips, her head bobbing slightly as she stared him down. Too brave for her age already, he wondered often how this was going to translate through her future. She was so full of life, and even more boldly filled with her Mother—she would be a force to be reckoned with—especially if he had anything to do with it—he'd see to it she could hold her own no matter who or what she faced in the galaxy in the future. He would in fact see to it that all of his children would be capable of much the same.
"Again, Tummy," his voice was stern, pursing his lips to fight back the laugh that wanted to burst out at how much attitude his tiny girl held, looking at her through his brows, "Now."
Xaraeyn stomped her foot on the ground, hard, a huff of air blowing her white hair off of her face, then pouted all the way back to the table, grabbing the blaster, turning to the target and firing off five rounds in a row in quick succession, actually having the audacity to turn her head so she could stare at her father as she triggered the last two. She set the blaster back down on the table, not even looking at the target or the results, stomped back over to her father, widening her stance, one hip jutted forward and her arms crossed, a scowl making her brows draw down.
"Can I go play now?" her voice was angry, flares of light bubbling and popping all around her as the air around her responded to her frustration.
"Go on then," he muttered, gesturing to the side, somehow managing to hide his smile.
She started to move away and then ran to hug her father's leg tightly, "Daeh aer, Ahdae!" He reached down and ruffled his hand through her white hair, grunting softly, then smiling as she quickly ran across the yard to the pit where her siblings were playing.
Andronikos walked down through the range to pull the target off the mount, studying it.
Five clean shots, one single hole, all found their mark aligned in the center of the target. He shook his head, knowing that she was already light years ahead of professionals fifty times her age.
A light tinkling laugh sounded from behind him, his body stiffened.
"How long you been standing there, Sith?" he grumbled, turning on his heels to face her. She stood about five feet from him, his eyes sweeping from her feet to her smirking mouth, looking ridiculously domestic, hardly recognizable as a deeply feared Sith Lord, in her white flowing robes, layered to be loose and light with a gauzy kind of material, that the wind was wrapping around her legs, the high neck of her tunic making her eyes glow brightly as they reflected the blue sky.
"Long enough to know that she won that round," she said lightly, glancing off in the distance at their children playing in the "playground" together. Of course, playground usually meant something other than what this truly was which was just another training ground dressed up to look like something entertaining. Whatever it took to prepare them for what lies ahead.
Andronikos let the paper float to the ground, as he quickly moved to close the space between them—reaching forward when she was close enough to grab her around the waist, sweeping her into his embrace for a slow, sweet kiss.
She laughed through it, pushing gently on his chest.
"Don't you try to distract me," she laughed, kissing him quickly before pointing at the paper resting on the ground beside them. He grunted in disapproval, trying his best to school his expression to look like she had insulted him.
"I think her training is done, Nikki, don't you?"
He huffed lightly, resting his forehead on her shoulder, taking a deep breath, he whispered the truth, "I'm not ready for that." He turned his head, lightly nibbling behind her ear, sucking gently on the skin there, smiling when her body pressed forward into him as if on its own accord. He knew all of her weaknesses.
His admission didn't surprise her, since the moment Xaraeyn had been born she was his "Tumble"—nicknamed from the way she rolled and wallowed even as an unborn, and was practically uncontainable after birth.
"You know it's not too soon to start Nikolaes on the training weapons?"
He stiffened and then pulled back, his arms still wrapped around her waist, leaning just far enough away to look into her eyes, "I dunno about that. He isn't as disciplined as she was, and while Tumble may have some attitude issues, no thanks to you I might add, she's not reckless, but Nikolaes…well, he's just a little too driven by his passions for me to be ready to put a weapon into his hand."
He looked past her at their children, "I'll admit, that could be an advantage eventually, but with his temperament, I'm afraid he'd maim one of his siblings even with a modified piece."
She scoffed, turning to watch their children play.
Their eldest son, Andronea was showing his twin brother Androxyn how to use the force to stop the staged droid from firing. Androxyn was learning quickly, his brother being an excellent teacher having an exceptional connection to foresight—he was still capable of anticipating his enemy's responses without using it—something he had been teaching his brother. The two boys were nearly the same height and had the same build. She mused that they looked so much alike despite being seemingly different species. Genetics with her kind was a curious thing, often appearing to take an all or nothing approach to the design of their dna. One of them had manifest as a Rattataki, the other as a human—both of them looking completely identical apart from the color of their skin, and Androxyn's black hair compared with his brother's smooth, adorned head.
While the boys were intent on their own studies, they were also paying careful attention to their younger sister Xaraeyn who had rushed over after her lessons. Their eyes were cast cautiously on her as she climbed back and forth across the top of the ropes, then swinging down from one and moving across them upside down, then somehow flipping back over the top above them—both brothers ever watchful for her safety to be ready to catch her if she tumbled off of them—the nickname wasn't without reason. Both boys conscientious to not be noticed by Xaraeyn as they were spotting her—as though they both were ever the doting older brothers, protective, attentive, and without fear—Xaraeyn did not like to feel coddled or treated differently than them—and would be very angry at them for assuming she needed their assistance at all.
Xayoimea had been amazed as she watched her children grow, their abilities slowly showing themselves over time, some stronger than the others, all of them magnificent—and she knew as they grew more and more would blossom in them, surpassing what even she could imagine. She had no idea from the research she'd done how any of this would work, but she was overwhelmed daily at how much her children continued to teach her. About life, about living, about the force. They were sui generis, a set of individuals completely unique in the universe.
She felt the air around her move as she sensed Andronikos' amusement, turning to look at her husband, who was grinning, his eyes bright as he watched their children.
Andronikos noted that it wouldn't be long before they would have to replace the droid with a new one as the boys had reached an age and stage in their training that they were wielding the force with such precision it was entirely plausible they would be capable of defending themselves from a skilled opponent even at the young ages of eight. The current practice droids had seen much better days he mused.
Nikolaes was sitting with their youngest daughter, Xaya, in the sand pit. Nikolaes was almost four years old, and appeared to be human. He looked remarkably like his older brothers already, yet he had white hair, bright, shimmery in the sunlight. He was absently tossing metal rings onto the post thirty feet away from them without even appearing to look, while he was fixated on Xaya who was spinning her hands, tiny whirlwinds spouting in the sand near her at her command.
"He loves them, he would never hurt them," she commented, taking a moment to study Andronikos' face further while he was absorbed in their children, "What is your true concern Nikki?"
He turned to her then, a flash of pain and uncertainly shadowing his blue eyes, "He is too much like me, Xay, it terrifies me." He looked back at his fourth born, sincerity filling his words, "I made a lot of mistakes, did a lot of things I am not proud of, might have earned me a reputation, but I sold my soul in the process. I don't want any of them to have to compromise like that. Especially not Nikolaes, because whatever's in him that he got from me and my twisted genetics—well, it might be exactly what I wish he hadn't."
"Oh, stop that!" Xayoimae clucked her tongue, completely dismissive of his concerns, "You are a far better man than you ever give yourself credit for, Andronikos, in fact, extraordinary, because let's face it, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you otherwise. The truth is, he IS like you, and I absolutely love that he is. Besides, we are teaching him, and we are even telling those children about our own flaws and mistakes so they can learn from them. He is the BEST parts of you, my dear, it is your past ghosts making you think otherwise."
He stared at her, his face slowly softening until he was smiling broadly, "Is that so?"
She leaned forward, and up on her tiptoes, her hands pressed into his abdomen, her lips barely touching his, "Absolutely."
"I'm not convinced," he whispered, his lips tickling hers as he spoke.
"I think I can probably convince you, given the right motivation…"
"I'll give you the right motivation," he laughed deeply, picking her up and pitching her over his shoulder, her squeals drawing the attention of the children who laughed brightly at their parents as they crossed the yard, gathering to them as he set Xayoimea down in the pit with them.
"I'll be giving you all the motivation you need later," he whispered in her ear, slapping her behind.
She blushed lightly, the blue tinge of her skin becoming purple in the way that he found utterly delightful and irresistible. He groaned softly, narrowing his eyes at her before he scooped Xaya, a tiny little bundle of a child at two years old, up into his arms, spinning her in the air as her giggles sounded through the valley. Andronikos didn't have favorites among their five children—as each of them were singularly unique and lovable in their own way—but he had great affection for Xaya and the fact that she was a tiny little miniature of his lovely wife. She was so slight and quiet—she was easily overlooked—but she had such love in her, it emanated from her and they enjoyed being close to her to feel the overflow.
"Who found their gift today?" Xayoimea asked the children, smiling broadly at them, already knowing the answer.
"I did!"
"Me!"
"I have mine!"
Andronea stood silently, his hand clearly clenched around the stone he had discovered, but not feeling any need to compete for his Mother's attention—he knew she already knew what he had found. Her eyes flashed to his, a small grin crossing her face as his face broke with a lovely smile.
Xaya was out of breath and her eyes were bouncing back and forth when Andronikos set her down in front of her mother, swaying lightly, her tiny voice full of excitement, "I did Eldae'na-look, it's PINK!"
She opened her fist that had been tightly clasped around the small stone that shimmered and cast colorful light on her white dress.
Xayoimea sat on the ground in front of Xaya, all of their children gathering around. They each crawled over her, or leaned into her, bubbling with excitement, her eyes wide with wonder at them as they regaled her with their adventures while hunting for their treasures, revealing the beautiful stones to her with delight and joy punctuating every word. They showed her all the ways the light reflected, how it seemed to change this color and that depending on how you held it to the sky.
She spent the time marveling over each of them until Xaya climbed into her lap, sitting down with her back against her, melting into her—feeding off of her energy, off of the love between them, her body shining slightly with a white glow—her smooth head rubbing against Xayoimea's chin, soft and tender. She reached around her daughter and pulled her closer, snuggling into her, the giggles making her close her eyes.
When Xaya gushed, "Look, Eldae'na, look!" Xayoimea opened her eyes to the two tiny hands held up in front of her face with the tiny pink stone held in it, Xaya's head tilted back to see if the stone met her mother's approval.
"That is quite lovely, my darling!" Xayoimea grabbed her, tilting her sideways so she was laying down in her arms, the stone between them, lightly peppering her small face with kisses as she bubbled over with laughter, wiggling this way and that. Xayoimea rubbed the tip of her nose against her daughter's, who set the stone down on her dress, then reached up with her hands and placed one on each of her Mother's cheeks, smiling brightly.
"What do you feel when you touch it Xaya?"
The little girl closed her eyes, her tiny face scrunching up in concentration, grabbing the stone with one hand and then holding it tightly, her other hand still resting on her mother's face—her body was very still and yet, still very relaxed in her arms.
"I feel warm!" her face burst into a smile, her cheeks bright with the warmth that was infusing her body.
"Do you dear?" her Mother reached out to stroke her cheek with her free hand.
"I do! I see lines and symbols, Ae'na-."
Xaya's eyes popped open, bright and white and stared at her Mother's face, her fingers crawling across her cheek to the symbols that formed a line down her face like a stream of tears, "they look like these, Ae'na…"
"I see," Xayoimea smiled at her daughter, drawing her in to snuggle her, looking at Andronikos who had been taking in the conversation—a knowing smile passing between the two of them.
"They make me feel warm and happy," the little girl wiggled in her mother's lap, her attention drawn across the pit where the two eldest boys were taking turns jumping into the largest tree found there, to see who could reach the tallest limb.
Xayoimea's arms clasped tightly around Xaya when she heard the cracking noise followed by Xaraeyn's screams. Xaya darted out of her arms and ran toward her sister who was laying on the ground before she could take a single breath. Xayoimea stood up where she was to understand what had happened…Xaraeyn was laying on the ground under the tree, one of her legs bent oddly, clearly indicating multiple fractures.
Xayoimea stopped Andronikos from running past her to their daughter, "Wait, Nikki," she grabbed his hand squeezing it gently, "please, just wait a moment."
The other siblings had gathered around their crying sister, each of them talking to her trying to comfort her in their own way—and then Xaya sat down on the ground, putting her hand across Xaraeyn's forehead.
"Shhh, Sissy," she whispered while the older girl still cried, "let me."
Xaya sat still like a statue—her tiny body glowing brightly with white, and yellow, and pinks and purples as she transferred her energy and wholeness to her sister. Nikolaes reached out to their youngest sister, propping her up as she started to wobble, then sat down behind her, setting his chest against her back, giving her support, his own body trembling as he reached into the force trying to strengthen his weakening sister.
"Nikki, you're crushing my hand," Xayoimea whispered, he dropped her hand immediately.
"We should do something!" he grumbled, shuffling his feet in the dirt.
"We are, darling," she reached over and touched his cheek his expression serious and worried, "we are."
By the time she glanced back to the children they were all gathered around Xaraeyn, each of them touching one another, all of them glowing different colors and strengths, all of them supporting the other.
Andronikos reached out beside him, drawing Xayoimea to his side, holding her firmly against him, the worry that was etched on his face replaced with wonder and joy.
"Would you look at that…." He smiled through the words, "they're doing it." He closed his eyes, Xayoimea watching him.
She reached out and pulled his face to hers, leaning into him, "Don't you dare," she laughed lightly, kissing him softly, "They do not need your help."
He shrugged, "I can still feel her pain, Xay…"
"Wait," she hugged him gently, "just a few more moments, I promise."
Sure enough, within a few minutes the children were all laying in a laughing, giggling, tickling, pile of silly, each of them both exhausted and exhilarated by their experience. Xaraeyn was testing her leg, bending and flexing her muscles and putting weight on the bone. It was mended completely. Young bones were far easier to repair than aged ones. Their abilities were also amplified by the Aim'te, they would lose some of their effectiveness the further they traveled from it—and Xayoimea knew she would need to counsel the children on those kinds of truths eventually—but for now, she was thrilled with what they had managed to do. They were far more powerful than she could have ever imagined.
Suddenly, Xaraeyn began crying again, and no matter what Xayoimea might have done there was no stopping Andronikos from rushing to her, scooping her up and checking her for fresh injuries. She had tears streaming down her face, her siblings standing up then to try and see what was wrong with her.
"What happened Tumble? Where are you hurt?"
"I couldn't do it, Ahdae," she cried out between sobs, her body shaking from the force of her tears.
Andronikos immediately understood, she had been trying to do what her brothers were doing by force jumping into the tree and didn't quite make it. He huffed, lowering himself to the sand with her still in his arms, the other children crawling to him and touching him, sitting close to listen as their mother came and sat with them, her knees touching their Father's, creating a circle, with Xaya and Nikolaes crawling into her lap. Andronea and Androxyn sat on each side of their parents, their hands touching each of their knees.
Suddenly the sky above them became darkened, and rain began to wisp in the air around them, slowly building into a heavy downpour. Xaya reached her hand upward, creating an arc of energy to keep the area they were standing in dry. Andronea reached over tapping Xaya, casting his hand up higher, creating a larger arc to keep the entire area dry—Xaya smiled at him, dropping her hand.
"I thought I was strong enough to do it, but I couldn't," Xaraeyn got out between sobs. Before either of the parents could respond Andronea, still holding the arc above them, leaned forward into Xaraeyn's line of vision, "I couldn't do it 'til I was two years older than you, don't be discouraged—you did really well!"
"You certainly did, Xaraeyn," her mother spoke softly, "Besides, your best qualities may never be your ability to move like your brothers, you already have many gifts they lack, and so they have many you may never have, just as you are able to use a blaster with your eyes closed."
Xayoimea glanced up at the rain, then looked pointedly at Xaraeyn, "Deep breath, one, two, three." When she reached three, Xaraeyn's body shuddered with a deep breath trying to calm down. Her siblings reaching out to touch her.
"Yeah, if I tried to do that, I would probably shoot myself in the foot!" Androxyn rolled his eyes with mirth, touching his sister's hand.
They all laughed together, Xaraeyn trying to laugh through her tears. The rain slowed, and Xayoimea had kept firm eye contact with Xaraeyn, repeating, "Another, one, two, three."
Xaraeyn took another deep breath, her face clearing a bit as her mother leaned forward, "Focus on me, reach out Xaraeyn, focus."
Something happened in that moment that neither mother nor child would ever forget. It was the first time they connected in the force between them. The rain stopped, clouds dissipating as quickly as they had formed, bright sunshine casting shadows around them, chasing away the moisture. Xaraeyn leaned forward from her father's arms, her hands clasping around her mother's neck tightly, her body shaking with happiness and excitement.
No words were spoken, no words were necessary. Love flowed freely between the two of them, and in return the rest of the family glowed softly as they felt the beauty of their energy.
When Xaraeyn loosened her grip and leaned back into her father's chest Xayomea pushed her hands forward, using the force to slide them apart, opening a circle in front of them, she gently lifted Xaya to sit in front of her, and Andronikos gestured for Xaraeyn and Nikolaes to sit in front of him. Once the children were sitting in the circle—their mother's hand moved in a sweeping motion to smooth the sand out over the surface, then a single line was drawn leading from each of them to a circle that appeared in the middle. The children were wide eyed as they watched their mother's actions.
"This is a good time for a reminder and a new lesson—you are each unique, each created with your own personality, strengths and weaknesses—your life is meant to help you figure them out and grow those qualities, not try to fit the same mold as each other. I know it's very hard, but you have to remember, what you CAN do, no one else can do the same way you do. Do you understand?"
Small circles appeared at each of their feet, connected to the line in front of them. Andronea reached out and placed the stone he had found into the circle on instinct. The other children watched him and then followed his lead, placing each of their stones into their circle.
Xayoimea stood up, her eyes shifting to look at Andronikos, who was smiling at her, she nodded, lifting her hand up and a ball of light glowing on top of it. She gestured forward and the light moved to float in front of Andronea.
"The soul is complex and requires multiple parts to make a whole. Hteotai, or Tai, means, 'nature'—the personality—the part of what makes a soul firm in conviction and resolution. Tai is the head, the leader, the strength. Full of knowledge, the power of Tai is unique—both amazing and dangerous—both a blessing and a curse. Tai is the connection between the parts, keeping them as one no matter where they are."
Xayoimea had moved to stand behind Andronea, her hand resting softly on his head, "You are Tai."
Andronea's eyes widened, his cheeks brightening, as he leaned backward to look up to see his Mother, her face lit up with happiness, she leaned forward kissing his forehead softly. She moved to stand behind Nikolaes.
"Saehrle, or Sae, means, 'shadow'—the secret parts, the ones that are kept hidden and unknown by all but the soul—capable of moving in the darkness, and with a keen sense of other's true nature—Sae is both quiet and bold, the passionate part of the soul—yet vital to the success of the soul as a whole—for without his understanding of the dark parts none can understand the light."
She squatted down and leaned around Nikolaes to place a kiss on his cheek, "You are Sae." She stood and moved to stand behind Xaraeyn.
"Ai'nas'aer, or Aer, means, 'innersoul'—the vital spark—the piece of the soul that feels, that knows, that sees, that touches, that experiences. The Aer balances the others—bringing better understanding to their actions, to the worlds around them, to help the other parts of the soul stay humble and fearful of their very nature and the power they contain. Volatile, impulsive, yet wistful. While the deep feelings of the Aer can be a beautiful experience, they can also be overwhelming if you are not capable of handling them properly—the Aer depends on the other parts of the soul to help control the effects of the spark."
She leaned down, stroking Xaraeyn's cheek softly, Xaraeyn turned her head, a tear sliding down her cheek as she nodded, "You are Aer." Xaraeyn leaned her head into her Mother's hand and then lifted her head to smile at her. Xayoimea moved to stand behind Androxyn.
"Hem-teeom, or Eom, means 'true name'—or the definition of who the soul is, what they truly stand for—with so many varied parts to make a whole, there needs to be a place of balance—of truth—sometimes harsh—always beautiful. The Eom gleans discernment from among the other parts and they can tell to the whole the simple truth of what they see and know. The Eom can read others, can see the truth in others, as well as the false—and brings to the soul the balance of light and dark."
She touched the top of Androxyn's head softly, ruffling his hair, "You are Eom." She pulled his chin up with her hand to press a kiss on his forehead, then moved to stand behind Xaya.
"Aemhe'te, or Aem, means 'heart'—or the part of the soul that is love. Closely intertwined with the Sae, the Aem relies on the other parts to make sure it sees what is clouded through the light—to balance her. Aem forgives, loves deeply, cherishes everyone and longs to do right and bring good into the world. Aem personifies the face of love—and she takes the hard edges of the other parts of the soul and softens them, gives them a gentle vision to temper the painful parts of themselves."
She moved to her knees behind Xaya, who had turned sideways to look at her, eyes wide and full of hope, "You are Aem."
Xayoimea gestured to the circle in between the children where they turned to see the stones by their feet glowing brightly.
"The stones reflect your own energy, yours alone. They are impacted by your power. You effect these stones the same as you effect the very universe around you—both for good and bad. Close your eyes, and feel."
Each of the children did as their mother had asked, reaching out to the force around them, their breathing slowing as they went deeper and deeper into the ether, their bodies completely still for a few minutes and then slowly Andronea rose up on his knees, his body lifting upward as if something was being drawn from the middle of his chest. He groaned softly, as if in some kind of pain. Within seconds, Androxyn's body lifted up, followed one by one by each of their siblings until all of their bodies were lifted, and then the stones at their feet slowly rose from the circle and moved forward to the inner circle, gliding through the air until they were floating a few feet above the sand.
A bright beam of light formed from the children's chests, pulling them further up and forward as it drew out of them to connect to their stone in the middle of them. As each stone lit up brightly with the reflection of each child's power, the children's sounds moved from pained to soft humming and sighs as they learned how to temper the feelings they were having.
"Now, feel each other," Xayoimea whispered softly, a tear drifting slowly down her cheek as she felt her children's souls laid bare before her.
The area around them began to glow as if they were being lit up from the inside—and all five of the stones began to spin and twirl, the children finding comfort in the moment, opening their eyes, marveling at what was happening. The stones spun with lights shimmering and glowing, casting soft reflections across the area. They sped up until they were just a colorful blur, beautiful and terrifying all at once, and then a bright white flash made them all close their eyes, pitching them backwards, each of them adjusting themselves, trying to sit up, eyes popping open. The stones were slowly moving back in front of their owner, hovering in front of them.
"Go on," Xayoimea encouraged, moving to sit down between Andronea and Xaya.
Andronea reached out and pulled the blue stone into his hand, his body stiffening for a moment, eyes clenching shut as his hand clasped it, an unexpected wash of connection rushing through him, such power imbued into the stone as he had never known. He felt what his siblings felt. All of the emotions, all of the feelings, all of the truths and the hardest parts of what made them who they were, all at once. His eyes popped open to seek his Mother's—and she pulled him to her, hugging him tightly as he began to weep, trying to absorb the feelings he was having.
The other children each took their stones, the same response burning through them, as they moved to embrace their mother, Androxyn moved to lay his head on Xayoimea's knee, his tears falling onto her white gown as his hands clasped the fabric under his head. Xaya scrambled into her lap, her hand laying on Androxyn's cheek, her tears bold and strong, her body wracked by them but her hands moving across the others, trying to touch all of them at once.
Suddenly Xaya turned and looked back at Raeyn who was still and silent, glued to the same spot on the ground she had been, her fist in front of her, white from the strength she was clasping her stone with. Xaya grabbed Nikolaes' hand as she moved out of her mother's arms, moving toward Xaraeyn. Andronea noticed what was happening, looking at Xaraeyn, her expression pained, the air around her still, as the first sob burst through, a loud wailing sound emanating from her tiny body. Xaya had crawled over to her then, her hand firm as she reached out so she and Nikolaes could touch her, pulling her into them as her body convulsed from the power of what she was experiencing. Suddenly, the wind was blowing wildly around them, the trees above them bending over as if bowing to her.
Xayoimea looked up at the sky, dark, black, light flashing between the newly formed clouds. Thunder roared above them as if angry and tortured. Leaves and sand began to swirl around them, violently dancing on the air, pelting their faces, their exposed skin.
"Sith." One word spoken from Andronikos, his face pained, drawn with the emotions he was feeling in response to Xaraeyn's—he'd pulled her into his lap, trying to talk to her softly, her eyes closed, hands clenched, her body tight and bundled in a ball, a noise of discomfort the only sound she was making.
All of the children were touching Xaraeyn now, their bodies glowing softly, Nikolaes was groaning as he allowed some of the overflow to pass into him instead of pushing power to her. His eyes clenched shut…his body shaking at the force of what he was sharing with his sister.
Xayoimea closed her eyes, reaching forward, focused on easing her daughter's pain, explaining to her.
This is part of your burden as the innersoul, my sweet child. You will always feel more, see more, experience more than the others. It is part of you, but you will, in time, learn how to control this aspect of your power. It will not always be like this—and equally it will never be easy or simple. Embrace the parts that are causing you pain—they lose their power over you when you give them room to be set free. Don't fight them, they are as much a part of your life as the beautiful parts. Introduce the dark parts to the lovely, beautiful, light parts. You must teach them to harmonize. No one else can do it.
Xaraeyn's body slowly loosened, minutes passing as the other children glowed, sending her their own positive energy. Eventually, her cries subsided as the air around them calmed, the sky clearing, and then her green eyes popped open, her eyes landing on Nikolaes', who reached out to touch her face, a tender smile breaking his serious countenance.
"You did it, Sissy," he held his hand still on her, pressing his happy emotions forward to her, the other hands of her siblings moved softly on her skin, comforting her, expressing love to her.
Xayoimea felt the tension ease out of her body, her eyes absorbing the picture in front of her. Her husband holding their daughter, their other children protecting her, sheltering her. In one picture she saw all that she truly loved, and felt a warmth flow across her skin from the light that she was creating.
"You each gave a gift to the other. The stones hold the gift. No matter where you go in the universe, no matter how far apart—you will each carry a part of the others with you. The feeling you had was the manifestation of the gift and it is a holy, spiritual thing. The words you see behind your eyes are as old as all of time. You are each a part of something far greater than just yourselves. Your strength by yourself will never compare to the strength of you together."
She couldn't help but smile as her eyes were drawn to her husband's knee where a pile of hands sat stacked together, all of their children reaching out to touch one another. Wanting to prolong the feeling they were sharing as long as possible.
She wished in her heart they could stay this way forever.
But time marches on.
The ship was drifting outside of a new planet they had been sent to for some operation or another. Nikolaes was not one for the details, trusting his crew to handle everything and then brief him on it. He had spent a bit of time flirting with Raina-fairly innocently all things considered-as she was a sweet girl, and he really didn't plan to pursue anything with her. He might be a cad, but he wasn't cruel. She deserved someone better than him, no one actually deserved someone like him, if he was perfectly honest, thus his decision to remain flying solo and satisfying his own needs his own way was working for him so far.
He was in the middle of a question about what order they were in for docking when he felt something hunting him, coming for him across space and time. He could feel it rushing toward him from somewhere beyond the ship-like a storm brewing and moving wildly toward its destination of destruction.
Raeyn.
No.
His entire body instantly broke out into a sweat, his fists clenched as a feeling began in the pit of his stomach, and then suddenly, he flew backward, bouncing off of the console, and then crashing into the floor, the ship echoing with his screams.
His body was being mutilated...his skin stripped bare, his organs ripped through his skin. At least, that's what it felt like to him, he was hysterical from the pain, and was screaming out to his family, begging, his body writhing on the floor.
Somewhere beyond him, he heard his crew, they were screaming, saying things he couldn't hear or understand or something, all he knew was darkness, it was so dark. He felt something pulling him from inside his body, as if the innermost parts of himself were being leeched from his skin. He was lifting up off the ground, his body bent upward in an arch as light pulled from him, streaming out dissipating into the ether.
His screams were long and deep and mournful, as he felt the bond being severed, and then it was gone.
Completely.
His body dropped from five feet up, crashing down to the metal floor below him, his screams now from the missing pieces, the empty place inside of him...he slapped hands away from him, crawling to the console, his face red from the ache, tears streaming down his face, sobbing as he crawled.
His hand reached up, frantic on the buttons, trying to enter the right code, and then, the holo blinked and flashed and then his father was screaming at him over the holo.
"Damn it, hang on a minute Niko, just a minute, breathe son, breathe!"
He could hear his mother in the background, he'd never heard anything like it, ever. He'd tortured people, he'd done the most inhumane, cruel and horrific things to people through his life, and he'd never heard a sound like this-was he making that same sound? Were those his own screams or hers?
His sister's name echoed through the connection like a living breathing element-his mother screaming her name, it was drawn out, like the very soul of her was being wrenched from her mother's hands as he listened. She was screaming for his father then, and he was gone, and everything, it was gone. His mother's cries were like fingers scratching through his skin, he grabbed around his chest as if to hold the pieces in place, shaking, rocking on the floor sobbing.
The console was blinking, incoming call, it was from the Jedi Council—Xaya…no. How could she bear this? He heard Vector talking to someone, he thought It was Andronea but he couldn't be sure. It sounded like him, but without a tone, without an expression, blank. Empty like him.
"We understand. We will do what you have advised and see you soon."
His father was back on the console again and he tried to hear him, tried to listen, but he couldn't hear him, his senses were shutting down, he was fading, the air around him felt thick and he thought maybe he was actually dying.
He knew something was happening, made out words about where they were going, felt the ship hit hyperspeed, and then he was done, the world faded black, the last thing he heard before the darkness swallowed him whole was his father's voice.
"Something's happened to Raeyn."
Please no.
Notes:
Have I mentioned how much I absolutely ADORE all of my readers? I do. SO MUCH. You give me a passion to continue to write and I enjoy your enthusiasm and kudos and read counts and reviews and comments SO VERY MUCH! Thank you, I am humbled by your favor!
Notes on the parts of the soul:
I based this on the theory from Ancient Egypt that there are five parts to the soul. I'm an ancient history buff and love to learn about cultures and people so it was pretty awesome to get to replicate a little of that here-and through out the rest of the story as well-with minor adjustments. An explanation:
Andronea Personality *Ba Nature: hteotai [huh TAY oh TIE] Tai [TIE]
Androxyn Name *Ren True Name: hem'teeom [him tuh EE OHM] Eom [EE OHM]
Xaraeyn Vital Spark *Ka Innersoul: ai'nas'aer [EYE nayce AIR] Aer [AIR]
Nikolaes Shadow *Sheut Shadow: saehrle [SAY her lay] Sae [SAY]
Xaya Heart *Ib Heart: aemhe'te [AIM hey tay] Aem [AIM]
Translations:
ai'nas'aer 'aerh'te [EYE-nace-AIR AIR-huh-tay] the culmination of the soulbond, literally means innersoul covenant
i'taism'te [EYE-TIE-sim-tay] presence
leitemae s'aer [LEET-aye-MAY say-AIR] complete soul
cyare [SHAH-ray] beloved, loved, popular
Ahdea'na [AH-day-NAH] Father, Dad
Eldae'na [EL-day-NAH] Mother, Mom
daeh aer [DAY air] Thank you
*Ahdae [ah-DAY] A more affectionate term than the use of Daddy–less juvinile–with full appreciation of who your parent is and what they mean to you
