Pronunciation Guide for Character Names:
Xaraeyn [ZAY rain]
Raeyn [rain]
Xayoimea [ZAY oh ME]
Brii [BREE]
Notes:
Just a few things-there is another part in here that I did not supply pronunciations or explanations for-as it is given directly after it is spoken. =o)
Just a couple of translations in this chapter, found at the bottom or on my Tumblr! 3
And slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
Right about the same time you walk by
And I say 'Oh here we go again' oh
Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out that everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right
So I'll say 'why don't you and I get together and take on the world and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never going to let me in
Why Don't You & I-Santana
Message-ID: c5f7e12fgdsf4c1ab73bd423239c2-ITM-ID-df38478gdfgasdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
X-Mailer: IntergalacticTransmissionModule Galaxy/89er72o8974edjfog883-LOC
TM-Version: 5.2.14
Encryption: .codeSECURE
Failsafe: TRUE-interception -382882340Droid23fjdfks-EmbassyALD
To: Xayoimae Revel ITM-ID-er8440983llkgldfk93fd349-954352
Subject: This is so hard!
Receipt: 3443lsdk553lf-s2stul
From: Raeyn Revel ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
Hey! Not much going on here—shooting people, making money, spying, cheating and stealing. Haha Most of that's not true…but you know…I do what I have to do! I'm sure you'd love a detailed report on all of my activities, but mostly I've been working like I am supposed to and then in my downtime—I mostly spend with Torian. He's been with our crew for almost six months now. Torian and I have talked every single night before we turn in—it's my favorite part of every day! Last night I told him that I was different. He laughed and said he'd been around me enough now to have noticed haha He wasn't even a little bit odd about it and his aura was just pure and kind and truly curious.
So I told him that I was something other. I've never really thought about the fact that there's no name for what we are…that would have been handy. Talking to Mako about these things was easy—I guess because she's like my little sister…and Gault, simple, he doesn't want to know more than he has to and doesn't question anything I do haha He's a good guy, I can't wait for you to meet him! Blizz doesn't even notice anything, and Skadge, well, just God love her—she's just not going to care about anything unless she is getting to mutilate them. She stays on the ship a lot which is just fine by me.
Anyway, I tried to explain in a way that wouldn't terrify him that I wasn't completely human. He didn't even change. Nothing, his aura was still the same, and steadfast, and I was surprised it didn't shock him. He told me that he had a feeling that was true. I dunno how he knew unless it was part of the bond—because I have tried to be REALLY careful about my powers. Though I guess the bond does change things, maybe?
He asked me about you and Ahdae. I told him that Ahdae was a human being, and asked him if he'd heard of him and he HAD! Haha Revel infamy runs rampant in the Mandalorian culture apparently! He is quite revered! Don't let him get a big head about it! Then I told him that you were a Rattataki, which I admit, he was confused about haha of course! But then I said in the clearest way I could, that you were not a normal "being"—that you also aren't an alien. I didn't realize how hard it would be to explain this to someone.
Is there a book or something I should share with him?
Mand'alor took a deep breath trying to be patient with the room full of people—not a simple task given her personality which generally resorted to blasting someone's face off if they backtalked, versus actually trying to be civil and cooperative. This had nothing to do with her position as Mand'alor and more to do with her position as a woman who had a strong drive to prove herself to the world outside the clans she was born into. It really wouldn't be her fault if she lost it and killed them all—since none of them actually invited to be there in the first place. The Sith and her husband were one thing but their…apparent granddaughter and her husband where an entirely new issue.
"Look, this is real simple," Brii said very slowly as it to help everyone understand, though her eyes were fixed on Mand'alor causing her to stand up straight and cross her arms in defiance, "you create a distraction and we'll move Ahdae onto my ship, we haul jets, no one here sees or hears anything, all simple like, ya see?"
"I can't even begin to imagine what kind of 'distraction' I would have to provide that would make it so the entire camp looks away so that you can smuggle him out, short of blowing the entire it up—which for obvious reasons is simply out of the question," Mand'alor leaned forward across the table, resting on her elbows, staring at Brii, "I am open to suggestions of course."
Brii stood up, all of her five feet of sass clear and present, huffing lightly, "We all got our roles to play—I figured out this much, you telling me you can't handle the rest? I'm disappointed, the stories I heard of Mandalorians seem grossly exaggerated now."
Mand'alor stood up abruptly, her feet spread in a fighting stance, hand resting on her blaster, her eyes narrowing, "Don't challenge me, child."
Brii rolled her eyes, huffing, "First off, don't call me 'child'—I'm likely older than you are, secondly, I'm not and won't be intimidated by you and your clan—so don't even try that nonsense with me."
Mand'alor bristled, moving to walk around the table when Andronikos stepped forward off of the wall he'd been leaning against for the last half hour. Before he could get there Corso had stepped in front of Mand'alor, his body bowed forward as if he were going to attack her at any moment.
"I don't care who you are, you could be the Emperor himself, I'm not gonna let you mistreat my wife," he spoke, his voice firm, steady, and his hand resting on his hip, prepared to grab his blaster, "I got no problem bringing Scarlett into this."
His eyebrow raised up, challenging Mand'alor. She huffed, exasperated, "Who the hell is Scarlett!?" Her hands gestured around the room exaggeratedly.
Corso ran his hand down his hip, stroking the gun as he tapped the side of it to draw Mand'alor's attention to his current favorite blaster, a lovely red beauty. The corner of his mouth drew up into a smirk when he heard Brii huff loudly behind him, both at his penchant for naming his guns like they were women, and also for inferring she actually needed him to step into this fight any more than she needed her grandfather to. That said, he knew she loved it, and wouldn't actually complain about the men in her life being willing to stand up for her.
When Mand'alor figured out what he was referring to, she laughed a bitter laugh, "I swear to the Manda, there's something wrong with you people."
Seriously.
Andronikos grunted in displeasure, as he nudged Corso backwards with his shoulder to get between him and Mand'alor, "Stand down, son." The command was absolute and Corso nodded, stepping back to stand beside Brii, putting his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side and then kissing the top of her head.
"We're not going there" Andronikos grumbled, standing squarely in front of Mand'alor, "I think we need to focus on what's important."
His entire body was radiating danger, no one was messing with his family, and that was a fact, he wasn't about to sit back and watch it happen. He felt a wave of comfort wash over him, his eyebrow raising, though his eyes remained on the bright eyes of Mand'lor as he spoke, "Sith?"
The Sith who had stood quietly the entire time, her face blank, without any expression to give away her feelings on the discussion at hand—stood up from the chair she'd been sitting in, floating over, brushing against Andronikos as she backed up into him, squeezing between him and Mand'alor. She was close enough that Mand'alor had to concentrate to not shrink backward from the power of the energy flowing off of her.
"I'll provide the distraction," she said firmly, cutting Mand'alor off when she opened her mouth to speak, "You and I that is."
Xayoimea turned to look at Brii, "Go get Torian ready, move fast, and be prepared to fly, understand? We're off this planet in less than twenty minutes."
Brii nodded, her eyebrows drawn down in question.
"Go, now!" Brii bristled at the tone the Sith used, but nodded her head sharply, grabbed Corso and left the planning tent.
"You and I will stage a fight," the Sith had turned her attention back to Mand'alor, "A good one, so that the entire camp is looking at us."
Mand'alor stood up straight, staring at the Sith, crossing her arms, and then grunting, "You might end up dead, Sith. I can't predict how the clans will respond to you fighting me."
"If all of the hearsay about Mandalorian obedience is true, then it shouldn't take more than you telling them to stay out of it," Xayoimea challenged, mirroring the leader's stance, her arms crossing in defiance.
Mand'alor huffed, her eyes narrowing, "So be it. When do you want to do this?"
"Now," Xayoimea reached her hand out and shocked Mand'alor, the brilliant purple and white sparks causing Mand'alor to jump backwards.
"What the hell!?"
"Just giving you a taste to prepare yourself," the Sith laughed lightly as she turned to go out of the tent, "I'll dial back my power so I don't kill you in front of your people."
"Damn you," Mand'alor hissed, her patience nearly unhinged at this point, she stepped one foot forward in challenge, "Don't you dare do me any favors! You don't scare me!"
"I know the truth," the Sith stood still in the doorway, not turning back to look at the leader, "I can hear your heartbeat, I am honored by your bravery, that said, you would lose regardless if I were actually fighting you—and that is not because of your lack of fortitude, ability, or strength, but because of who I am. Today, you will triumph in front of your clan. I am happy to do this for you."
Mand'alor's eyes were opened wide, her eyes drifting to Andronikos who was standing by the doorway, his eyes unwavering on his Sith, "Why would you do such a thing?"
"We will be allies, and I don't want your people to lose confidence in you, they have no attachment to me—you are a vital part of the war efforts, and I won't see your clans fall."
Mand'alor nodded sharply, understanding, and despite not being able to articulate it, she was grateful for the Sith's willingness to take her position into consideration, even if it was in what felt like a mildly insulting way.
"You and your clan are vital," the Sith turned to look at Mand'alor, "We will not see each other again, but this is something I want you to remember—you are a key part of the narrative. I need you to hear this, and I need you to handle Torian when we return him to you."
"I have no idea what that means," Mand'alor bit out as she shook her head, her patience slipping again, her hands clenching in frustration.
"When he returns, he will be changed, and you need to embrace it," Xayoimea smiled at the woman, "He will need your guidance, and it is not something anyone else can give him—it must come from you."
Mand'alor didn't understand anything, but she felt like the Sith was telling her the truth, sharing something very important with her. Suddenly the Sith was standing in front of her, so close her overt energy was blasting her, making her eyes squint as she adjusted to it.
"I know your affection for him," Xayoimea whispered, a slow smile spreading on her otherwise severe face, her hands reaching out to touch Mand'alor's hands, holding them lightly, "He cannot be who he needs to be without you."
"I don't understand why," Mand'alor whispered back, "before now, I barely even knew him apart from whispers and rumors."
"I understand, truly, but please know it's not my story to tell," Xayoimea squeezed the leader's hands, then let them go, taking a deep breath, "Shall we do this?"
Mand'alor nodded, satisfied, the Sith turned to leave, tipping her head at Andronikos who grunted sharply.
"Sith?" Mand'alor called out to her as she neared the exit, "Thank you…and if we really do not meet again…just know…I-I'll watch over Torian when he returns."
The Sith stood still for a moment, not turning to look at Mand'alor, frozen there in the doorway, then she laughed lightly.
I never doubted for a moment but I am relieved you see the truth now.
After a few moments, the laugh turned something sinister, and she stormed through the bright opening of the tent, her voice booming with supernatural force as she appeared to move smoothly across the sandy surface to the center of the camp, her words as an alarm to the Mando'ade in the camp, who all stood, and began to move menacingly toward where the Sith had climbed atop a stack of crates and was still bellowing the words so the entire camp would hear.
"You dare to insult me! Come show me in actions, not words how brave you are Manda'lor—unless you are too scared to do so."
The entire camp was in an uproar all at once, buzzing and cursing and closing inward when Mand'alor stepped out of the planning tent, her voice booming, "She is mine!"
A hush settled across the gathered clans, all eyes on their leader as she spoke, "I will cut down any who dare involve themselves in this fight!"
The clan members all bowed their heads in obedience, despite some of them grumbling and shuffling agitatedly in place, their weapons already drawn.
"Fett!" Mand'alor's eyes landed on her second in command, "Stand down."
Fett's eyebrows drew downward, his face absolutely furious, his body had already curved into a fighting stance ready to launch himself at the Sith—but at the sound of his Mand'alor's voice saying his name he stopped.
"Don't make me kill you myself."
Fett stood up straight, his hands still tight around his weapons, then nodded stiffly.
Mand'alor heard sounds from behind her, and rushed forward to the circle as she heard Andare cry out for her to stop. Her hands gripped her blaster so hard it made her arm shake so that she would not turn around to reassure Andare that this was just a performance. She knew she could not do that, and regretted it deeply that the medic would watch this believing that it was absolutely real in every way.
I'm so sorry…I'll be okay.
She clenched her eyes shut for a moment, gathering herself, and then when she opened them, her entire countenance emanated fury, "You've issued your last threat in my house, Sith!" At this Mand'alor fired up her jets and flew up to meet the Sith in the center of the circle.
Xayoimea laughed lightly, menacingly, "Very well."
The Sith began glowing as she gathered energy to attack Mand'alor. Mand'alor instantly began a barrage of fire, missile, and blaster attacks, moving quickly away from each blast of energy the Sith shot out of her hands.
The combat continued as the two of them performed their carefully orchestrated dance, their faces covered in sweat from the concentration, and the truth being told, they both were quite enjoying the experience—so seldom did either of them face an opponent who offered even a small amount of challenge.
The air was rendered in two as the Sith's light saber came to life, bright pink lighting up both ends. Without a moment's pause, she launched herself upward off the crates at Mand'alor, who realized too late what the Sith had planned.
She cried out as the blade slashed down across her arm, not cutting through, thanks to the strength of her [acronym title="[BES-kar-GAM] armor"]beskar'gam[/acronym]—but she could feel her skin burning, bubbling, underneath the armor from the heat of the blade as it rest there on her arm.
"You [acronym title="[SHAH-boo-EER] extreme insult - *jerk*, but much stronger"shabuir,[/acronym]" Mand'alor hissed as she manipulated their position trying to disarm the Sith. Xayoimea winked quickly at her, the Sith's mouth twitching slightly at the desire to answer in kind. Rather, her words were unexpected.
"Finish it, send me to hell," the Sith seethed, her eyes twinkling, understanding alight in Mand'alor's eyes, and then in a whisper so faint Mand'alor wasn't even sure she heard it correctly, "Thank you."
Mand'alor hit her jets, slamming the Sith down into the ground, activating her torches and firing them directly into the Sith's face. She knew that the Sith would stop them, but she'd managed to get them to such an angle and the rest of the clan could not see what was happening.
She could feel the heat on her face from the proximity of the raging fire and the way it was bouncing off of the Sith's protective wall.
The Sith winked at her, and then gestured her eyes to the gun on Mand'alor's belt.
The shot hit the ground next to the Sith's head, as Mand'alor called out loudly, "Victory is mine!"
Andronikos dodged sideways as he grabbed Mand'alor off of Xayoimea, nearly getting hit by her response to him grabbing her.
He fell to the ground beside her, crying out. He felt like he deserved recognition for his own role in this performance, he was spot on, if not overly dramatic, but it served to rile the surrounding Mandalorians into a subdued frenzy of victory as they awaited Mand'alor's instructions.
Mand'alor walked back and forth drawing the crowded clans back further and further away from where the Sith lay and her husband "mourned".
"Take her, leave here, and tell the world that no one, Sith, or otherwise, comes to the House of Vizla, the inner sanctum of Mand'alor with insults, and lives to tell the tale."
Andronikos nearly laughed through his pretended hysteria when the Sith rolled her eyes, he didn't say a word, just picked her up, her body limp and lifeless in his arms, and carried her away to their ship.
The camp went wild with cries of victory and celebration—and Mand'alor was shocked as someone crashed into her, causing her to stumble backwards two steps, her arms flying up in surprise as something attached to her—eyes wide as she looked down, steadying herself, realized that it was Andare who had now locked her arms around her waist.
"I thought you were going to…I don't even want to say it…," Andare cried, her voice a whisper that spoke straight to Mand'alor's soul, as her face tilted up looking into her eyes, "I didn't get to tell you…"
"What?" Mand'alor spoke softly despite all of the chaos around them, her eyes narrowing tenderly at the woman's stricken face, tears still wet on her cheeks.
"I…" Andare took a deep breath, her arms still locked around Mand'alor's waist, her body shaking against the leader's, her arms pulling impossibly harder as she pressed her head into Mand'alor's breastplate, averting her eyes in her flustered state, "I care…so much…for you, and I want to….I would like for us to…."
"We are," Mand'alor responded gently.
She reached down, slowly drawing Andare's face up to look at her, the redness of her eyes, and the blush across her cheeks making her absolutely radiant, she moved slowly, drawing her hand to brush away the tears from Andare's cheeks, her palm wrapping around her cheek, her fingers running into her hair, clenching softly, "If you want, then we already are."
Andare bubbled out a soft teary laugh, her eyes twinkling despite the ongoing tears, nodding her head, "Please."
Despite all of the loud yelling, the sounds of corks popping from the spirits being passed around, guns firing in the air, and the distinct sound of two ships taking off from across the camp—the only sound that Mand'alor could hear was the sound of her heart beating in her own ears as she leaned down, her body curving to reach the tiny woman she couldn't stop from admitting she was falling unexpectedly in love with.
Andare, done with waiting, steeling her nerves, pressed forward, moving up on her toes, closing the gap between them quickly, her mouth soft on Mand'alor's in a tender kiss.
She laughed when Mand'alor leaned back a small bit, eyes glittering with unspoken words between them, then reached down, wrapping an arm around Andare's waist and pulled her closer, one hand resting on her back, the other moving under her neck into her hair, having so longed for this—but was quickly drawn back to the kiss when Mand'alor brushed her mouth across hers again, more insistent.
Her breath caught in her chest as she allowed herself to be swept away, her mind lost in the sensations of the kiss as it drifted deeper and deeper—the connection between them electric, fiery with pent up words that had not yet been spoken, of desires that had been brushed aside for months now—all finding their way into the moment in the most delicious ways.
The gathered clan members paid no mind to their leader and Chief Medic locked in a passionate embrace amidst all of the celebratory chaos.
It made it very easy for the two of them to sneak away without anyone noticing.
We are.
Message-ID: c5f7e54rdedsf4c1ab73bd42fw3432er-ITM-ID-df38478gdfgk9238jt5ds6-234fls
X-Mailer: IntergalacticTransmissionModule Galaxy/89er72o8974edjfog883-LOC
TM-Version: 5.2.14
Encryption: .codeSECURE
Failsafe: TRUE-interception -382882340Droid23fjdfks-EmbassyALD
To: Xayoimae Revel ITM-ID-er8440983llkgldfk93fd349-954352
Subject: Another Update
Receipt: 3443lsdk553lf-s2stul
From: Raeyn Revel ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
We've made this little area in the cargo hold that is "ours". It's just a corner, nothing special at all, but no one else comes there and it's at least a tiny spot we can pretend nothing else matters but that moment in time. Torian had put it together, some crates—then he got pillows from somewhere and he's added those to the crates around the makeshift table. It's perfect. It's…us.
Anyways, you'd be proud of me, this baby stepping into sharing who I am? I took a big leap today—I actually brought out one of my books today, and showed it to him. I was terrified that he was going to laugh at me and ask me why I had a book of poetry. But Eldae, he didn't, in fact, he touched the book with reverence. He had never seen a real book before. I couldn't imagine such a thing, but he explained he'd never really been anywhere that books were used. He actually smelled it and my heart jumped…I wanted to hug him. KFLJSD he actually smelled it! Haha I think I fell in love a little bit more when he did that.
He told me I was constantly surprising him. I hope that's a good thing?
He turned the pages, and smiled when he saw the pictures. He asked me if he could borrow it, making sure to tell me that he would take good care of it! I told him yes, of course. I realized there are so many things I want to share with him, so much I want him to know—and I wish I could know I had a lifetime to do it in.
I shouldn't think about that, the covenant, I shouldn't hope, but I do. I can't help it. My heart is positively bent on it. I know, I know...anything could still happen. I accept it as such, yet pretending that there is a future between us—well, it makes me happy—so I will not deny myself the daydreams and imaginings.
Sleep sweet!
Hour 276
She had just stepped to the edge of the cliff, wishing she was surprised by Valkorian's presence beside her, but of course she knew where he was. He was the only thing she could sense here.
"You're going to regret getting inside my head."
She turned to look at him then—her eyes boring into him as she continued, "Just wait until you see my dreams."
He nodded, his face severe, almost pained, shifting to look out across the hills, "I would prefer dreams over your nightmares."
She opened to her mouth to speak when she felt something, a stirring in the atmosphere of the planet they were on, and she turned to look out, staggering as she felt the weight of what she was being drawn to, she could see them. Her crew. Torian. They were there, they were across the hills in a valley. Their bodies were in fighting stances, a circle of enemies crowding in around them.
Her heart beat wildly, as her breath caught sharply as if she had just been punched in the gut, she called out to them, called him by name.
"Torian! I'm here, please, I am here!"
Valkorian laughed at her. It was an evil, hollow sound.
She stumbled as she went down the hill, alone, Valkorian still at the top of the hill, she was running as fast as she could to Torian.
She could still hear Valkorian's laugh.
Message-ID: c5f7e12fgdsf4c1ab73bd423239c2-ITM-ID-df38478gdfgasdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
X-Mailer: IntergalacticTransmissionModule Galaxy/89er72o8974edjfog883-LOC
TM-Version: 5.2.14
Encryption: .codeSECURE
Failsafe: TRUE-interception -382882340Droid23fjdfks-EmbassyALD
To: Xayoimae Revel ITM-ID-er8440983llkgldfk93fd349-954352
Subject: OMG!
Receipt: 3443lsdk553lf-s2stul
From: Raeyn Revel ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Guess what happened, guess, guess!
Late tonight I went to get a snack and Torian was in the galley too, so we took our snacks and sat in our corner in the cargo hold while everyone else was sleeping to make sure we didn't disturb them…both of us utterly exhausted.
Long story short, he asked me if I was "seeing" anyone. Which honestly, I knew was just a ploy to get me to admit that I wasn't, cause he's been with me every day since he joined my crew—so he already KNOWS I am not. I told him that I wasn't, and had never. He smiled at that and admitted that he had never had any relationships either. Then he told me I could ask him a question so I did-and asked him what he looks for in a girl.
It was a joke, of course, after his dating one—and he said that she had to be a better shot that him (haha!) and be Mandalorian. CHECK AND CHECK. Haha I tried not to bust out like a crazy woman, but I did tell him I had them both covered. He agreed, and said that once he'd had some Mando'ade lessons with me—that he figured I would be just about the perfect girl.
Fasdl"Jp'oFd'j"d;fk' fowefka d'fk ' K;d"Okf 'asofg ajg'apojf 'OJS:D" JDP"SDFJ SD"PF;sdfks;d
Can you believe it!?
I hugged him then, a weird, awkward hug across the boxes—but it was still a beautiful moment.
Who am I kidding?! IT WAS PERFECT.
Hour 483
She had been running so long she didn't really remember not running. She couldn't find them, couldn't find Torian.
Horrible creatures appeared before her, and suddenly, she had her weapons, she cut them down, easily, too easily. She was still running toward the sound of her crew, she could make out their cries for help now. Each of them calling to her. Torian calling to her, his words laced with pain and heartbreak. She was moving but it felt like the same space over and over again. Their cries became harder and harder to bear, she couldn't understand how she still had tears as much as she had cried. More and more desperate. She was so tired, so worn, she slowed, and slowed until she was crawling, the voices so small and weak ahead of her.
She kept crawling.
Please.
Hour 1934
She came into a clearing, stumbling, her mouth dry and parched, and there before her was her worst nightmare. Her crew, broken beyond words, lying in pools of blood, still and cold.
Lifeless.
She fell to her knees beside Torian, lifting his head up to lie in her lap, her tears flowing freely down her face, peppering his dirty blood stained skin with her remorse.
"NO!" she screamed but the words caught in her throat, choking on a sob. She couldn't breathe, she pulled her hands up and saw Torian's blood covered them, she wanted to run from herself, not able to take a breath, she struggled, stumbling up and back and Valkorian caught her.
His words were nothing to her, she wouldn't even entertain them, didn't even try to understand them. She pushed away from him, trying to breath, trying to breath and then it was dark.
"Let me help you."
Message-ID: c5f7e12fgdsdfekedfgghsf4c1ab73bd423239c2-ITM-ID-dfgasdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
X-Mailer: IntergalacticTransmissionModule Galaxy/89er72o8974edjfog883-LOC
TM-Version: 5.2.14
Encryption: .codeSECURE
Failsafe: TRUE-interception -382882340Droid23fjdfks-EmbassyALD
To: Xayoimae Revel ITM-ID-er8440983llkgldfk93fd349-954352
Subject: Quick note (I'm safe!)
Receipt: 3443lsdk553lf-s2stul
From: Raeyn Revel ITM-ID-df38478292983sdk9238jt5ds6-234fls
I'm tired. We had a really rough few days, so that's why I haven't written. We're fine, everyone's fine, so don't worry! Took the crew to some little planet that has waterfalls and spas and upscale cantinas and is relatively safe to have a little downtime. Basically told everyone in the rest of the universe to bite my butt and turned off comms. My crew needs a break, and *I* need a break. Mako and I are planning a girl's night for tomorrow—that will be fun! Says she's gonna teach me to COOK. Don't laugh! I know you are haha I'll try to not burn myself or my ship.
Raeyn and Mako had the ship to themselves. They had docked on a small planet that seemed to have a fairly decent market and cantina and some kind of spas that Gault was carrying on about...she actually wanted to warn Torian to stay away from them as she didn't think they were the kind of spa he'd actually want, but didn't want to come off as being too motherly-he is a grown man-she needed to make sure he knew she saw him as one even when her protective instincts kicked in regularly. Everyone else had left in a flurry of activity a few hours prior and since there were plenty of things to entertain them or get them into a little bit of not so deadly trouble here the girls figured they had a good time to do something they would enjoy.
"Why do I need to wear an apron?" Raeyn mumbled as she tossed the ties around her neck and fastened the waist of the item Mako had given her to put on.
"…because that's what you do when you cook? And we're wearing our pajamas which means we have a lot of exposed skin and neither of us needs to get burned." Mako set a small pot filled with oil on the burner of the stove, setting it on low to heat while she shifted down the counter to the area where various bowls and tools were waiting to be used.
"What're we making again?" Raeyn reached up, jerking the fabric tied around her neck, not liking how it felt.
"Snacks, for our vidathon, plus, you should have never told me you hadn't cooked before—it screamed 'personal challenge' to me which, you know, I'm terrible about backing down."
Raeyn sighed loudly, plopping down in the stool across the counter, leaning her elbows over and resting her hands in her hands watching Mako pull ingredients out of cabinets.
"Can't you just make it?" she moaned, she knew she was whining, but really didn't care. The apron was scratchy and felt like sandpaper on her skin. Since she only had on a tank top and shorts, it was touching everywhere, and it made her want to crawl out of her skin.
"No, I cannot," Mako murmured pulling out a bowl in front of her to mix things in, "besides, Raeyn, you are a grown ass woman. You need to know how to cook."
Raeyn scoffed, slapping her hand out forward on the counter, laying her head down on her arm, her eyes still watching Mako, "I haven't died yet, so I don't see why I need to learn to cook. Somehow, miraculously, I have been able to eat enough to survive all of these years."
"Where do I even start? First of all, you not dying has nothing to do with the quality of the 'food' you eat—and you know that so don't give me that! Second, the fact remains that whether you can easily die or not—you know your body gains strength the same as anyone else's does—and eating these," Mako walked over to the cabinet across from her, swinging it open, her hands gesturing violently to the stacks of boxes there, "does NOTHING to make you healthy. This is not food. This is trash. I don't even know how you are alive, even with your genetic code, having eaten this prepackaged garbage for so long. I should dump it all out of the airlock."
Raeyn sat up quickly, "Don't you dare. I like those! What do you have against prepacs anyway?"
"Well, let's see," she reached in and pulled out one of the bags from inside a box, turning it to read the label, "so many ingredients here, and you know what? I don't see any that I know as 'food' at all. These things are disgusting, and I swear if you weren't YOU I think you'd already be dead from the low quality of your diet."
"You can kiss my ass," Raeyn huffed, pointing at Mako sharply, "and, if you touch those prepacs, we are going to rumble for real."
Mako stared at her for a moment and then shrugged, "Like I really care enough about what you eat to risk MY life. I lived on the streets of Nar Shaddah as an orphan and I ate better then than you do now."
Raeyn watched quietly as Mako sat out different ingredients, explaining different things as she went. Rayen did have questions and Mako was a patient teacher. She pushed a piece of paper with a smooth surface over to Raeyn, gesturing to the lump of….something on it, "Knead that."
"What? I don't need it?"
"No, knead it—with a k—" Mako rolled her eyes, pulling the paper back to her and used her hands to push the dough around and then roll it, repeating the pushing and squeezing—then pushed it back to Raeyn, "kneading."
Raeyn looked at the big blob of dough with true trepidation.
"For the love…you are a damn bounty hunter who has faced the fiercest, most dangerous enemies in the universe and you are worried about a pile of dough? How have you survived this long by yourself?"
She reached over, grabbing both of Raeyn's hands and plopped them into the dough.
"Eww, it feels digusting!" Raeyn lifted her hands, bits of dough sticking to them as she leaned forward and sniffed the dough, "Smells alright, I guess."
"Just do it," Mako ordered while she mixed together some spices in another bowl.
Raeyn reached her hand into the dough, its sticky, gooey surface feeling foreign on her hands. She kept trying to pull her hand out but the dough kept sticking. She put her other hand into it, pushing down on it, her hand hitting the table after it went through the dough.
"Roll it," Mako nodded while she turned to look for something else.
Raeyn reached forward and pulled the blob of dough toward herself, rolling it back up into a ball, and the pushed her hands back into it.
"So…" Mako's voice had a different tone to it than before, and Raeyn's hands stilled as she glanced up at her, Mako was staring at Raeyn when she spoke again, "I heard you and Torian talking last night."
Raeyn felt her cheeks flaming and ducked her head down trying to hide.
"I didn't mean to, I just had to go to the fresher and heard you guys were still up, I promise I wasn't spying."
"I know," Raeyn lifted her head, to look at Mako, "I know you would never do that…"
She took a deep breath before speaking again, "We've actually been talking….a lot…I should have already told you…I just…"
Mako couldn't stop herself from jumping up and down, a high pitched noise coming from her involuntarily.
"Calm down," Raeyn laughed, "It's not a big deal."
Mako's hands slapped on the counter, "That's not what I heard!"
Raeyn tried to look stern but she couldn't pull it off when Mako looked like she was going to explode with excitement any second.
"What exactly did you hear, Mako?"
"Oh, not much, just this and that and you talking about how worthy he was….and it was in that girly voice that you only use when you are talking to him and then—"
"Shut up," Raeyn laughed, smacking the dough around, "I don't have a 'girly' voice."
"You do and you used it last night while you two were talking about your future. My question is have you two actually…you know…?"
Raeyn glanced up to see Mako raising her eyebrows up and down quickly.
Raeyn's head snapped up, "What? No!" The word practically came out as a screech, "I mean, I suppose it's not so farfetched to think that maybe that's….going to happen obviously at some point—and I don't mean….THAT, but you know…stuff, but…no…we…haven't—we've hugged."
"You two are so stupid at this, I don't even know how you have progressed this far," Mako laughed stirring something in a bowl as she watched Raeyn focus back on the dough to avoid the conversation, "I mean you two like each other, on some alternate plane I can't even comprehend most of the time, you kinda make me sick the way you have these conversations without even talking…but anyway…it's like you two are made for each other…and I want to see you…"
Raeyn's mind drifted for a moment to the night before her eyes glazing over as the memories washed over her anew.
"I enjoyed this," Torian slid the book onto the table and pushed it toward Raeyn, "Thank you for letting me borrow it."
He seemed oddly flustered as he mumbled, his hands running through his hair, then leaning forward on his knees, his eyes fixed on Raeyn.
She leaned forward from her seat on the crate in the cargo hold, attentive, studying his aura for clues as to why he felt uneasy.
"I wanted to share something with you," he reached into a box she hadn't noticed sitting beside him on another crate, pulling out a rolled up scroll of paper. It appeared to be aged, though, well preserved. It was relatively small, bound with a piece of twine.
"This…is something that Mand'alor sent to me a few weeks ago," He picked up the scroll, pulling on the twine to unwrap it, unrolling it and then turning it so that Raeyn could see it. He carefully sat a small stone on each end of it to hold it open in place. Raeyn leaned forward, careful to not touch it, unsure of what kind of document it was and not wanting to take any chances of untoward responses to it.
She read the carefully formed script, two different ones combined to make a complete oath. Her eyes rushed to the bottom, widening as she read the two names there.
Jicoln Cadera & Jirian Beroya ka. Jirian Cadera henceforth
Her eyes were still marveling, wide and unsure of what she was actually looking at and afraid to imagine and be wrong, but she couldn't resist, "Is that…your Mother's name?"
Torian nodded, grinning as her eyes rushed back to read the document again.
"This…it's is your parents wedding oath!" Raeyn was amazed, unsure of how Mand'alor could have come across such a priceless artifact, but so thankful to see it. One day she would touch it and maybe give Torian some insights, but she didn't feel strong enough in his presence to control her response enough yet.
He nodded, moving the stones away and letting the scroll roll back up, tying it and setting it back in the box—then he reached across the small space between them to take her hand. She froze for a moment, her senses overtaken by the power of his affection as she took a deep breath, opening her eyes to look at him.
"Does that hurt you?" His voice was soft, apologetic almost for asking something so personal. Her eyes widened, hoping that she was always stealthy enough to hide the effect—and that while she was impacted by everything, his aura impacted her the most…but apparently, she wasn't as covert as she'd imagined, "I notice, even though you try to hide it…it looks painful."
She stared at him, stunned at his ability to read her so easily.
"Not trying to pry, or get you to talk about something you're not ready to," he said, his hand squeezing hers gently.
She laughed softly, shaking her head, "It's not that," she squeezed his hand back, "I just don't know how to begin to explain, it's all….complex…but I want you to know everything."
"I'd like that." The words were spoken with such conviction she knew there was far more to it than that simple statement.
"But we'll start with your question—no, it's not…. exactly painful. It's…different. I feel things, I'm sure you've noticed." She laughed lightly then, as he nodded, because of course he had—since sometimes her responses caused visual, fact based effects and could often be felt by others.
"Well, I've spent my entire life learning to control my reactions and responses. I couldn't touch my family for several years, and then when I learned to, I still struggled when things were overwhelming. I was alone a lot. Spent a lot of time by myself, it was easier, it fixed things for me, I didn't have to think so hard, try so hard, and my family didn't take it personally, they understood."
Despite understanding her situation as a child, she couldn't stop the sad tone from entering her voice as she remembered all of the times she stayed outside of her family's circle so she wouldn't suffer from the assault of emotions. It was never easy.
"You were alone," Torian whispered, his hands flexing around hers, "I was too."
She nodded, drawn out of her thoughts, eyes moving to his, her breath caught in her throat for a moment, when his voice spoke with such conviction, "You won't be again."
"Neither will you," she whispered in response, her eyes crinkling in the corner as she grinned warmly at him.
He nodded curtly, as she took a moment to revel in the feelings between their connection, then she continued to speak, "With maturity came more control, and then I could spend time with them as a group, and if I would get overwhelmed, they'd all touch me and I would feel it fade away. Eventually, once I became an adult, I had tempered my abilities—refined them to the point that they could touch me one at a time…and after a while, anytime—even all of them and I could handle it."
"The real tests came when I went out into the worlds. Times of joy, like weddings, sadness like funerals, carnivals, parties, you name it. I tested them all. I failed some and had to retreat quickly, but others I was able to tease along the edges until I could take it all in. Eventually, I honed my powers enough to control them and now I can do it most of the time, I still struggle if it's something that will affect someone I love. I haven't lost control in a really long time…"
She squeezed his hands hard, pulling herself to the edge of her crate as she leaned in toward him, "I wasn't prepared for you—because with you everything is different, more…the sensations are all new, unique."
She searched for the right words to explain this to him, he sat silent, squeezing her hands in encouragement, patiently waiting for her to gather her thoughts, "I never knew…these feelings, these emotions. I felt something from people that hinted at this—but it was so buffered and mild because my own spirit did not actually know how to process them—it actually hurt me, when the feelings would slam into the nothingness. It was like the place the feelings existed was just a large void inside of me, all empty, cold…I spent a lot of my younger years trying to figure out how to make it go away, to destroy it so that I would not have the constant pain. The empty place that ached inside of me was filled with untapped potential, new and exciting emotions and feelings that I had not yet awakened—eventually, my parents realized I was trying to destroy that part of myself, and they sat me down and told me that I needed to do the opposite. To reach into the void and the answer would be there for me."
"I was terrified the day I went to be alone to test it. I didn't know what was going to happen. I reached forward into the silent space in me, and it hurt, it was painful, really at that point one of the most painful things I had experienced. I wanted to withdraw but I held onto my parent's words, and I pushed past the pain—I spent three days in a cave, digging through, pushing myself. It felt like everything in the universe opened to me in a single moment."
She laughed lightly, her eyes having been fixated on their hands between them lifting to look at Torian, "My family would later tell me that they knew the exact moment when that happened because the force of the explsion rocked the entire world."
Torian's eyebrow raised slowly as Raeyn giggled lightly, "When the power opened in me—the cave I was in couldn't withstand the response my body had—and well, basically, I blew it up. When opened my eyes I was in the middle of a huge crater that I had created when my mind opened. The pain was there still, excruciating, but there was something…other. The colors all around me changed, as the dust settled, everything was brighter. I could hear a new song in my head. I could see more than I could before, and there, when I looked down was a beam of bright light, a ribbon flowing from me and suddenly—I had hope," she laughed in her excitement, bubbling, as she continued, "I had no idea what any of it meant—so it really was a miracle I didn't maim myself stumbling through the rubble from the explosion as I went running like a crazy person to my family. As I saw them, I saw lights coming from some of them, lines of light from their chests, beautiful lights moving and flowing and going somewhere—and I wanted to follow to see them all!"
She shook her head, her voice lowering, "I was blabbering on and on about the ribbons of light, and everyone was staring at me like I had grown ten tails. They couldn't see it. They couldn't see what I saw. My mother explained that it was a gift—to see the binds of the heart, and that it was why I felt the empty parts inside of me so acutely. It made sense, you know? For everything that had happened, it made sense to me then, the dark place in me. It was waiting to be ignited, to be opened—I felt…something…maybe it will sound crazy, but Torian, I think I felt you even then."
She took a shuddering breath, as he ran his thumbs across the tops of her hands, letting her gather herself.
"There was still pain, but it was numbed by the feeling of hope and certainty that you were out there in the universe, growing up and moving toward me—and then…that day—when I walked into that room with you the first time, you at the end of my ribbon, it was like the dark, dead place inside of me actually came to life."
A tear slowly rolled down her cheek, her body shuddering lightly as she took a ragged breath, "It was like I came to life."
Torian moved forward on his crate, pulling her hands to him, gently placing a kiss on top of one of them. He could tell there was more she wanted to say, so he just stayed close to her, holding her hands between them to give her courage.
"It was overwhelming. If I hadn't trained so long and hard to control myself things could have spiraled out of control right then and there. I went after that to a planet that was a barren wasteland…and…well, it was…violent. The response was different than anything I'd had before when I gave into it. Powerful. More power than I had ever known."
He nodded, understanding, he'd felt something like that too, just muted, he realized now—something between them that changed them both that day. She leaned forward a few more inches, "It feels like electricity running through my blood. A thousand pin pricks all at once all over my body. It hurts, in the traditional sense of pain I suppose, but at the same time—I relish it—It tells me I am alive, that you are real, that we are something...other. Something new—maybe something the universe hasn't even seen before. The other parts that have awoken inside of me, they are beautiful and I would not go back to not knowing them for anything in the world," her voice lowered into a small whisper, "…I'd endure any amount of pain to know you."
Torian's eyes drifted down to where their hands were clenched together, nodding, "I understand that myself."
"I thought you might," she smiled when his eyes reached back up to her own.
"So, you feel it all the time?"
"Yes, all the time, but it's exaggerated when you are close to me, or when we are touching."
He seemed to think on that for a moment, "So when we are training or fighting or just hanging out in the lounge?"
"Yes." She dropped her head, feeling like maybe she shouldn't share this with him, not wanting him to be worried or change how he'd been treating her.
"I see," he shook her hand lightly, getting her to look at him before he spoke, "Can you show me?"
She nodded, her eyes wide in question, when he didn't protest she closed her eyes, her hands reaching to take his wrists, her body softly humming with energy as she let the feeling flow out of her across him. She could hear his teeth click when they touched from him clinching his jaw from the sensation. She pulled it back, her eyes opening, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-"
"Stop," Torian's voice was gentle but sharp as he spoke, "I don't want you to apologize for being you, never with me. I'm glad to know. Thank you. Is there anything I can do to help you?"
She shook her head, "Not really, just…it's a process. I don't want you to be afraid to touch me or be close to me."
He laughed then, shrugging, "I couldn't stop if I wanted to."
She clucked her tongue as if making fun of him, and he raised his eyebrows, smirking at her, "You should know then, Champion, that I'm not sorry I can't stop."
She laughed at him then, "I wouldn't want you to be."
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before she took a deep breath, "So…that scroll?"
Torian nodded, "I didn't know my Mother's name until this arrived. I never asked, and no one ever told me…but it was nice to see something that showed a happier time for my parents."
"Is that tradition? To write the wedding oath?"
Torian shrugged, "Different clans have different traditions, and for many the oaths are declared verbally and that's it, some of them have a public ceremony, I suppose similar to what we see as traditional weddings like on Coruscant—and some write them, the words of their hearts flowing in addition to the words that are a normal part of it."
He let go of her hand to reach in the box again, pulling out two other scrolls, "These arrived with the one that belonged to my parents."
He sat them side by side on the table then pointed to one of them, "This one was my father's father's oath," his finger pointed to the one beside it, "and this one, was my mother's father's oath."
He laid one more scroll down between the two, "And this…this one was my great grandfather's oath on my father's side."
He stared at the scrolls for a moment, then cleared his throat picking them up and putting them in the box again, "Raeyn, I need you to know that I was taught that relationships are something sacred. I mean, you know as well as I do that not all Mando'ade hold to that tenet—but I want you to know that I do."
He took her hand, squeezing it softly, "I wanted you to see these scrolls because they came from Mand'alore himself. I was concerned that he would object to my pursuing a relationship with you—Clan Cadera and Mand'alore haven't exactly been close—but then he sent me these—with this letter."
He pulled a sheet of paper out of the box with his free hand, sliding it across the table so she could read it. Raeyn leaned forward her eyes flowing along the lines of the text written there.
Torian,
Time has long passed for me to share with you something I believe you should know. You are not your father. Not in the clans, not with in my own eyes. You have been raised to become a fierce and mighty warrior. I expect to see great things from you—and from your clan.
Please accept these scrolls as a peace offering between the two of us. I know more about your current situation than you would likely approve, but let me just encourage you to know you come from a strong and tempered line of great men and women who devoted themselves to one another and faced every adversity and opposition at one another's side.
It is hard to look back on the past and not wonder if things could have been different, but today I encourage you to do as I am, and face forward. Focus on being the man you were meant to be—and while you are renewing your family line and honor—please know that not all parts of your past should be forgotten.
As you experience your aay'han, please draw from the example set before you by your elders—find depth of meaning in the actions you take and use great wisdom to embrace the attachment you have made. Teach her to be a Mandalorian first, then everything else will fall into place for you.
Taylir te ruyot bal nari vencuyot udesla.
You have my blessing.
Use it in good health and victorious battle,
Mand'alore
Raeyn knew she would likely butcher the words, but she tried anyway, reading the words she could not understand, "Taylir te ruyot bal nari vencuyot udesla?"
"Means 'hold onto your history and move forward with confidence'," he said, his eyes unmoving as he stared at her.
"Gonna teach you Mandalorian culture, and Mando'a and whatever else you want to know…and then….I just…" he paused for a moment, uncertain about how to do this, but deciding to be brave, to push forward, "I want to make this real…this between us."
Raeyn tilted her head, taking in his words, concern causing her face to scrunch up, "There's so much you don't know about me yet, what if you change your mind?"
He sat still, staring at her and in her nervous energy she spoke quicker than she meant to, "I mean, what if you find something out and you decide that I am not what you want—I mean I have no idea how this works, or what I am supposed to do and I don't even know yet how to be a Mandalorian and you might not even feel the same if…"
"Cyare, relax," he whispered, cutting her off, leaning toward her, her body moving of its own accord to meet him, his forehead softly tapping hers, and then resting there, his eyes serious as he spoke, "I know I want you to be mine. Can't be more clear than that."
She couldn't stop the smile from taking over her expression, light burning through her, "I want that."
"Not yet, though—want to be deserving of you," he shrugged his shoulders, "…worthy. Like those who came before me."
Her hands pulled from his then, reaching up to touch his face, to wrap her fingers around his cheeks, thumbs brushing the scars there, her eyes drifting closed as she drew in the delightful energy between them, "You are already worthy, Torian. You've always been."
His hands moved to hold her wrists, his thumbs softly stroking the underside of her them as he hummed, "Maybe so. I want to do this right. Those scrolls are the only example I have in reality though I have watched how things are done in more modern Mandalorian tradition, but I find I have a deep connection to the older ways. I want to give you everything."
"You're all I've ever wanted," her eyes popped open wide when she realized the words had come out of her mouth instead of being in her mind, her face flushing with embarrassment.
In the succinct way that only Torian could, he set her at ease with a single word, as he lifted his head to place a soft kiss on her forehead, "Same."
Notes:
Wow-I am so honored by all of you! For those who send me messages, THANK YOU, for those who take the time to read my work-oh my THANK YOU! For those who actually make the effort to write a comment-you're my lifeline! THANK YOU! I love you all to bits! OXOXOX
Just a few translations this chapter!
_
shabuir [SHAH-boo-EER] extreme insult - *jerk*, but much stronger
beskar'gam [BES-kar-GAM] armor
aay'han [AY-ye-haan] bittersweet perfect moment of mourning and joy - *remembering and celebrating*
