Rory and Logan were heading towards Rory's dorm. Logan mind kept replying to what Rosemary had told him at the bar. How he was happier being with Rory than without her? How he wanted to commit to her before someone else did. However, for the first time in his life Logan felt at a loss for words. He didn't know how to tell a girl that he wanted to be exclusive with her. What if she rejected him or didn't believe him.
He decided to wait until tomorrow when he would have a better speech prepared. He decided to just talk about the end of the school year with Rory.
'It's only hitting me now. My classes are done - done. I don't have to think about Chaucer or Euclid or Kafka or Machiavelli for months. I can just think about Jane magazine and why did Uma wear that dress - fun stuff like that.'" Rory rambled on. She missed talking to Logan in the past year so she was happy to be talking to him again, yet there was a part of her that just wish they could kiss again like they used to. She hoped there would come a time when she wouldn't miss the intimate stuff.
"You'll still think about Kafka...and probably Chaucer." Logan smiled. She was the only girl he knew who read Chaucer for fun. Not to mention so many other ways in which made his heart skip a beat. He needed to get a grip on himself.
God why did his smile have to be so damn intoxicating Rory thought. She did her best to continue the conversation "Probably, but those other two bozos are history. You hear me? History! See in there?" Rory said pointing to the building, where she took history.
"Did you have Powell?" Logan remembering, who often taught political science class in that very room. .
"Yeah for first semester poli sci." Rory smiled.
"So where would you sit, while you frantically took notes." Logan teased.
"Hey don't mock my note taking ability." Rory uttered back in mock offense.
"I wasn't, I truly am fascinated by your note taking speed.
"Very funny Logan, but classmates don't complain when they ask for extra notes." Thinking of all the students, who had often asked her to borrow notes if they missed a key point.
Of course Ace, what would we do without your ability to take notes? So where would you sit? It was amazing at how often when they talked they tended to divert from the original question.
"I would usually sit with my back to the window so I wouldn't get distracted."
"Wise decision, I remember day dreaming during Powell's lectures not to mention the times I fell asleep. "Logan smirked.
"Logan the man has won many awards and he knows a lot about history." In truth Rory agreed the professor's lectures could be a little dry and monotonous at times, but she hated insulting people who had high academia. It was just blasphemous to her.
"He's still dull. Finn can bring political science more than he can. "He had forgotten how fun it was to debate with her. She was the only girl except Honor, who wasn't afraid to challenge him.
"Logan I don't think Finn knows what political science is…" Rory then burst out laughing and Logan started to laugh along with her. He felt so close to her in that moment that he wanted to tell how he felt, but he didn't want to scare her off. Hence, Logan said the first thing that popped into his mind. "I'd forgotten how big this campus can be…" He said gazing as he briefly glanced around.
"And you're seeing it at a weird time 'cause we're probably the last two people left."
"Not new to me. I was always the last one to leave the campus." He loved Yale, even though it was part of his preordained life. He loved the atmosphere of being away from his parents and the freedom.
"That doesn't surprise me Logan. Plus, I think we were the last two people here last year." Her mind suddenly was overcome with sadness, as she remembered what it had been like to kiss him and touch him and knowing she would never to that again.
She silently walked closer to her dorm, hoping a few minutes of not talking would be enough to block the memories of their past and not talking earlier. Logan could sense that something was bothering Rory probably the memories to that night, he really should tell her tonight. However, in those minutes he just did not know how.
"Well, this is my room. Thanks Logan, I really had fun tonight." And confused, Rory thought. She loved hanging with Logan, but the confusion and longing were really messing with her mind.
I did to. It's good to laugh. I laughed tonight. You're funny." Among other many positive adjectives Logan thought.
"I can be funny maybe not in the same way my mom or even my grandmother is at times, but I can crack a joke at times. "
"Not to mention you argue in a hilarious way at times" Logan stated thinking about their banter.
"Well you do make me frustrated sometimes, so I lose my train of though and something ridiculous comes out. "
"I frustrate you?" Somehow by instinct Logan moved closer to her and started to gently touch her face.
"Yeah" Rory felt her entire body melt at Logan's closeness and touch.
"Good, I like frustrating you." His voice was very sultry as his lips started to move towards her.
In a minute Rory started to feel anticipation, but then anger. How could Logan keep doing this to her, one minute he wanted to be friends, then kiss her, then friends, then kiss her. She was sick and tired of the cycle. She broke away. "What the hell Logan?" She angrily hissed.
Oh god, he couldn't that he had almost lost control with her. This wasn't the way he was supposed to declare his feelings. "Rory, I'm so sorry."
"You're always sorry Logan. Why do you keep doing this to me, when things are suppose to be friendly?" Although it was just as much her fault.
"Rory look there is something I need to tell you, something I should have told you this a long time ago. You see…" Logan could not believe his hands were shaking he hardly ever got nervous. Suddenly the door opened breaking his train of thought.
Rory and Logan turned and were surprised to see Jess. Logan felt a surge of anger, the punk had to come and ruin his moment.
Rory felt so angry, she was so not ready to deal with him right now on top of her drama with Logan. "What are you doing here?" She angrily snarled.
"I need to talk to you." Jess simply said. He then turned and said. "Who's he?"
"I'm her friend; I met her the night you made her feel like trash at Kyle's party. I saw first-hand how much you upset her. Now I say you get out…"
Jess did not seem to be fazed by Logan by what said. "I need to talk to you..."
"What are you doing here?" Rory repeated.
"Jess, I suggest you go home. You're not helping anything here, she's over you." He seriously hopes he wouldn't have to resort to punching him.
Jess still did not appear to be fazed. He really wanted to talk to Rory. He felt he could convince her to get her back, and he felt he could without the strange guy.
Rory appreciated that Logan's help, but she knew Jess wouldn't unless she talked to him.
She whispered in his ear. "Logan you should leave. He won't leave, if you won't leave if you're here."
"I can make him leave." He whispered back.
"I know, but I don't want a brawl over me. I swear will finish our conversation tomorrow."
"Promise."
"Promise." Reluctantly Logan shortly went away. He was going to call her later, make sure she was okay.
Rory looked at Logan sadly, and then turned to Jess. " Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away."
"Rory."
" What do you want?" She was sick of Jess appearing and disappearing from her life.
"I don't know. I just wanted to see you, talk to you. I just..."
"What?"
"Come with me."
"What?" Rory did not expect Jess to say this the guy had clearly and completely lost his mind.
"Come with me."
"Where?" She would never go anywhere with Jess, but she was testing him to see how crazy he was.
" I don't know...away!"
"Are you crazy?"
" Probably. Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it."
Jess had clearly fallen off the deep end. She looked at him, and she could tell he looked lost. She was going to let him down gently " I can't do that. "
"You don't think you can do it but you can. You can do whatever you want."
"It's not what I want Jess. I don't want to leave my family and friends, and I don't want to leave Yale. I'm not the girl, who leaves everything behind. Even if I was it would never work, you're not ready for a relationship Jess. You just like the idea of one. "
"Rory, I know I was not ready to be a boyfriend before, but I'm ready now. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can. "
Rory took a deep breath. "Jess you coming in here talking crazy does not show me that you are not ready for a relationship. Even if you were Jess, I care about you but I don't love you. I might have, if things had been different but I moved on. I love Logan…" Wow, it was the first time she ever admitted it.
Jess appeared to snap out of his crazy reserve. Rory didn't love him, he never in a million years thought of that. "You don't love me…"
"I'm sorry Jess, but I moved on. However, that doesn't mean I don't want you to get your life together and to not feel so lost. You owe it to yourself and to Luke to do that. "
"You two were the only two people, who really believed in me. I am sorry for everything, I just said. I don't know what I'm thinking half the time. I'm sorry I ran when I said I love you. I am sorry I called you at your prom"
"It's okay Jess, just try to move on."
Jess knew he had to leave he couldn't bear to look at Rory for awhile. "Well, goodbye Rory. Tell that guy he's lucky"
"Thanks Jess." Rory smiled. She was happy to have some closure with Jess, but she was still confused more than ever on what to do with Logan. She was in love with him, and she didn't know what to do.
By the way, this chapter contains lines Rory told Dean in 4.21 about how glad it is to be summer. I did change the lines to a bit so they won't be too RDish, if you know what I mean. I tried to make Jess not be to jerkish, I didn't want to stoop to Logan haters level. Plus maybe if the conversation went like in my story we would've been spared of S6.
