I am sorry that the last chapter was hard for y'all but if it was any consolation it was hard for me to write as well. I felt Rory had some ex-boyfriend demons in S4 and I felt she needed to conquer them; yet make a different choice. Hopefully this chapter will make you guys happier.
When Lorelai was coming back to her house to get band-aids and a camera for the Inn a little later, she saw Rory stumbling down the stairs of the porch with tears streaming down her face. Lorelai stopped dead in her tracks and took Rory by her shoulders. "Honey, slow down" she said firmly, her face mirroring how concerned she felt about her daughter's condition.
Rory looked up but could barely see her mother through the haze of tears. "I messed up, Mom" she whispered, her words barely audible through her tears.
Lorelai slowly pulled Rory into a hug. "Oh honey," she sighed and gently stroked Rory's head. She hated when Rory was hurting. "I'm sure it's not that bad. I just saw Dean pass by this direction and Logan's car driving the other..." And then it hit her. "Which guy do I have to kill? Come on, tell mommy."
"You don't need to kill anybody," Rory said quietly as she pulled back and wiped away the tears. "I almost did something horrible. I don't know if I can face Logan ever again…."
"Honey, why don't we go inside and you tell me everything that happened?" Rory's rambling didn't make sense to Lorelai. She needed all the information, before she said anything.
"Mom, don't you have a room full of people at the Inn?" Rory didn't want her Mom to get in trouble on her big night with her personal drama.
"Sookie can take care of them. Come on, let's get inside" Lorelai said, and then opened the door so she and Rory could go and talk somewhere more private. Trees and windows in Stars Hollow tended to have ears.
Rory followed Lorelai into her room. They sat down next to each other on Rory's bed and when Rory had calmed down a bit she told her mother everything, from Dean's arrival to Logan's departure.
When she finished Lorelai remained silent for a minute. "Wow, I never thought a boy from high society would save you from the wrong guys...first Jess and now Dean, when he is married. I hate to say this, honey, but I would have said the same things Logan's said if I'd seen you and Dean…" Lorelai tried to utter her words as gently as she could.
"I know... I'm a horrible person and Logan thinks I'm a fool…." Rory again started to cry. The events of the evening really had taken its toll on her.
Lorelai pulled her in. "Logan knows you made a mistake" she said soothingly. "He might have said some things he didn't mean, but he still cares about you."
Rory was silent for a minute as she contemplated her mother's words. "I'm so sorry" she whispered. "I know you didn't raise me to go after taken guys."
"It's alright, honey. I'm just glad that you stopped yourself from going too far..." Lorelai stopped a moment to think about her next words. "I really haven't been a very good example for you either. I think you should tell Logan how you feel about him. Your feelings for him are tearing you apart and it breaks my heart to see you this way."
"What if he turns me down?" Rory asked, her voice mirroring the fear in her eyes. Nothing would hurt her more than to hear Logan say that they couldn't get together again.
"What makes you think he will say that Rory?" Lorelai asked truly curious.
"He told me that he still wasn't ready for a relationship when he came back" Rory explained. "I thought I wasn't ready for that either but after seeing Jess and now Dean... I know I want to be with him and only him. I hate that I have these feelings for him. I hate that I miss him even when he is gone just for a moment."
"Look, honey, I know you always try to bury your feelings when you like someone, but you really need to stop this" Lorelai said seriously. "It's unhealthy. Look where this behavior took me."
Rory was silent as she thought about her mother's words. "I don't want to talk about this anymore" she said quietly. "I just want to go to bed. Is it okay if I stay here instead of the Inn?" Rory tearfully pleaded. She was emotionally exhausted and just wanted to sleep in her own bed.
"Of course, sweetie" Lorelai smiled at Rory. She helped Rory tucking herself into bed and then went and switched of the light. She took a moment to watch her daughter searching the right position to sleep. She really wished there was a way she could make her daughter happy.
The next day Rory did her best to act as if nothing had happened. She ignored Logan's calls and spent a vast amount of time in her room unpacking and putting her books into alphabetical order. But every time she would hear her phone ring or did not have a task to do she would feel a sense of sadness and shame at her feelings for Logan and what she almost did with Dean the night before. She felt that maybe she needed a change of scenery, which is why during the lunch she and her mother had with Emily she immediately agreed to accompany her grandmother to Europe.
"I can't believe you agreed to spend an entire summer with my mother…" Lorelai said exasperatedly.
"I know spending time with Grandma is not your favorite thing to do, but I actually had some fun with her in the past" Rory said and actually was a little amused.
"You haven't spent more than a weekend with that woman. She still views you like a minor. You'll have curfews, you'll be listening to her complain all the time and you'll be going on many boring tours…."
Rory chuckled at Lorelai's over dramatic nature. "I don't plan on hitting the European streets at night. Plus I'm sure I can find ways to sneak out if things get too much. Second of all, I like tours and grandma doesn't complain as much as you think."
"My own daughter is going to sneak out from Emily Gilmore. I'm so proud." Lorelai placed a hand over her heart and grinned.
"No, mom," Rory said only half serious. "Only if things are really unbearable. I need to get away from what is familiar right now and the trip will be educational and cultural, which are two of my favorite things. I almost made a big mistake because I tried to stick to something I know. Maybe seeing new things will give me a new mindset."
Lorelai paused for a minute as she watched her daughter closely. "Are you sure this trip is what you really want to do this summer?"
"Yes, Mom, I really want to go." I need to go! Rory wanted to say but she didn't want to seem desperate to her mother.
"Alright," Lorelai finally relented, "but promise you'll come back two or three weeks before Yale starts. We need our annual movie nights and gab fests."
Rory smiled. "I promise. Now I need to go back packing. I have three hours before my flight leaves."
When mother and daughter hugged Lorelai whispered in Rory's ear. "Are you going to tell Logan that you're going?"
"No. I think I need some time away from him. You can tell him if he calls." Rory quickly went to her room before Lorelai could ask her why she was going to leave the country without telling her best friend.
Lorelai tried to read her magazine, while she waited for her daughter to finish packing so she could drive her to the airport. When she heard the phone ring Lorelai immediately knew it was Logan. He had been calling sporadically all day on the house phone and on Rory's cell phone. Lorelai could tell that he badly wanted to smooth things over with her stubborn daughter, yet did not want to appear like a stalker.
Lorelai decided that now was the best time to reason with Logan to get those two crazy kids together. "Hi Logan" she greeted him.
"How did you know it was me?" Logan asked partly frustration and partly in jest.
"You're the only person who called today" Lorelai explained in a matter-of-fact voice. "I'm supposed to tell you she can't answer the phone, but I can't stand to see her miserable. Therefore, I want to help you and Rory. However, I need to know your intentions. So, what are your intentions, Logan?"
Logan thought long and hard and Lorelai didn't dare to interrupt his train of thought. "I am in love with Rory and I want her to be my girlfriend" he finally admitted with a quiet yet strong voice. "I was an idiot for not realizing it a year ago and keeping denying it. When I saw her kiss Dean I was hurt, jealous, and angry that he robbed me of my moment."
"You were going to tell her that last night…" Lorelai guessed. Everything finally made sense.
"Yes" he admitted. "I want to find another opportunity to tell her but she won't answer my calls. Can I come over now?"
"Oh Logan... I would love to say yes, but Rory is leaving for Europe any minute now. Emily wants to take her to properly show her around Europe."
"She decided to go to Europe? Logan asked surprised.
"Yeah" Lorelai confirmed. "She says she needs a change of scenery and we Gilmores tend to run from our problems. However, I believe if you are able to get her to sit for a minute and to tell her everything you told me she'll want to be with you. She feels the same way. "
"She does?" Logan was 99.9 sure she did but still wanted to verify the information.
"Yes," she said. "I have never seen her feel this way about any other guy or so upset that she couldn't be with him."
"When does she leave?" Logan asked, already looking for his keys. "I'll come to Stars Hollow and..."
Lorelai looked at the clock and frowned. "Look, Logan" she interrupted him. "By the time you reach Stars Hollow we will be at the airport and I know my daughter; she is not going to be able to stop and talk to you before she reaches the gate. The only way you can talk to her is to call my mother to bump another Baptist from the flight."
"A Baptist? Logan asked curiously. That didn't make sense to him at all.
"A religious group is on the plane and Emily Gilmore had the power to get two of them off the plane to get first class tickets for her and Rory" Lorelai explained with an amused voice. "I know she can be convincing to get a ticket for you as well and you're lucky she likes you. However, if you don't want to do that then you have to wait two months before she comes back. So what do you say? "
Logan needed a moment to think. He definitely was not going to wait another two months to tell Rory how he felt. An eight hour plane ride would be the perfect non-interrupted time for him to fully lay everything on the table. His mind was made up. "I say give me Emily's phone number so she can bump another Baptist."
"You want to fly to Europe on a whim?" Lorelai asked in amazement.
"Why not?" Logan said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "I do it all the time and Rory is definitely worth it."
