~Luke Wheeler~
Luke stood in front of the mirror and adjusted his tie. His wife walked up behind him and ran her hands down his arms to smooth out his jacket. He gave her a cockeyed smile. "You sure you don't wanna come?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I didn't even know Rayna Jaymes," she said. "Plus she was your ex."
"Ex-fiancée. Let's be accurate."
She smiled. "Ex-fiancée, then. But no. You and Colt go. Y'all were the ones who knew her."
He turned and kissed her. "Alright then. I'll see you in a couple hours."
As the service proceeded, Luke found himself not paying close attention to all the eulogies, merely thinking back on his own history with Rayna Jaymes.
He first met her at a state fair, when they were both on that circuit. He'd heard about her and made a point of showing up for her set. There was lots of buzz around Rayna Jaymes then. She had her first single on country radio, which was modestly successful, and had released her first album. He thought some of the appeal was probably that she was pretty as a picture and busty and she had long, lean legs that she showed off in short skirts. But she was more than that, he saw, with her big voice and beautiful melodies.
He knew she wrote most of her songs with her boyfriend, a dark haired guy who played guitar for her and looked menacingly at anyone who stared too long at her. Luke had already been on the receiving end of that dark look. Deacon was the boyfriend's name. Not very talkative, but surly when he was drunk, which happened often. He'd seen them together and knew the man was possessive, although Rayna didn't seem to mind.
She only had eyes for Deacon, which Luke thought was a shame.
Luke pulled away from his musings for a moment, as Juliette Barnes was speaking. The two of them had toured together for several years and he still felt a real fondness for her. They had spoken briefly on the church steps, after warmly embracing. He hadn't seen Juliette in at least twenty years and it had been good to reconnect for a few minutes.
As happy as he was now, remarried to his ex-wife for nearly forty years, Rayna breaking off their engagement all those years ago still hurt, whenever he thought about it. But once Maddie and Colt had broken up, he hadn't had much occasion to cross paths with her, so that pain had mostly faded. She's Deacon's girl. She's always been Deacon's girl. He didn't necessarily understand it completely, but it had been true. In fairness, she hadn't immediately run back into Claybourne's arms after she broke things off with him, but it had been inevitable that she would. And they had been happy, according to everything he'd heard.
He'd hated how she had defended Deacon in the early years, how, no matter what he did, she always forgave him. He remembered the night Deacon hadn't shown up for a show and she didn't know where he was. He'd offered to fill in that night, and then he'd fallen head over heels for her. He'd wanted to rescue her from the life she'd chosen, sure it couldn't be what she really wanted for herself. But turned out it was. And no matter what else she did – marrying Teddy Conrad, almost marrying him – she couldn't get Deacon out of her heart.
The truth was, she had always felt like that unattainable goddess to him, from the moment he'd laid eyes on her. When he'd finally met her, he'd fallen head over heels in love, much like he suspected Deacon had. The difference was that she had fallen in love with Deacon and not with him. When he had finally gotten the chance to woo her, he'd practically pinched himself every day he was with her. And when she had agreed to marry him, he had been over the moon. But, of course, it wasn't meant to be, and it had taken a long time for him to get over Rayna Jaymes.
He felt a tear track down his cheek and he reached up to surreptiously wipe it away. He thought about what her sister had said – if you believe in God and heaven…they are together for eternity, the way they always planned – and he knew that was true. He had to admit he'd never seen her happier than when she was with Deacon Claybourne. Having rediscovered true love again himself, he knew that was a gift.
~Colt Wheeler~
As he drove over to pick up his father, Colt wondered about the wisdom of going to Rayna Jaymes' funeral. It wasn't himself he worried about, it was his father. Luke had fallen hard for Rayna back in the day and had been devastated when she'd shown up the morning of the wedding and called it off. It had taken him a while to get past the pain of it. Colt understood it a little, having been unceremoniously dumped by Rayna's daughter Maddie in the midst of her bid for emancipation.
On the way to the church, Luke was quiet, mostly staring out the passenger side window. Colt glanced over at him periodically, but didn't try to make him talk. When he'd parked the car, Luke made no move to open the door. "Dad?" he said.
Luke turned to look at him. "What?"
"We're here."
Luke leaned forward and looked out the window. "Yeah, I guess we are." He sat back and seemed to slump just a bit. He shook his head and then looked at Colt. "I can't believe she's gone. I mean, I hadn't seen her in years, maybe since Deacon's funeral, but somehow I didn't expect this." He sighed. "I still think of her as that woman I almost married. Every time I saw her that was the image in my head." He smiled crookedly. "But we all get old. I mean, damn, I'm eighty-seven. Pretty damn old, if you ask me."
Colt looked at his father. Luke hadn't really aged all that well. When his career had hit the skids, he'd fought it hard. He hadn't wanted to become a 'legacy artist', the term he always used to refer to those he considered has-beens. He didn't want to live out his life singing at the Grand Ole Opry and so he'd walked away, not without an 'up yours' kind of speech as he did. He'd softened some, with time, but he still was bitter about the end of his career and the end of his label. It hadn't set well with him that Highway 65 had taken over Wheelin' Dealin's artists and catalog, but he had eventually stopped brooding about it. And apparently he'd gotten over his irritation with Rayna Jaymes over it, since he was here at her funeral.
He opened his car door. "So, Dad, let's go in," he said.
"Oh, okay, son. Let's do that," Luke replied, and he opened his door then and slowly got out.
It was still chilly, although not as cold as the week before. Colt worried a little. Luke always seemed to be cold these days and being outside in the real cold probably didn't help. He watched his father seem to shrug down into his coat and scarf, jamming his hands in his pockets. He walked around the car and slid his hand through Luke's arm, grabbing him at the elbow. "Come on, let's get in where it's warm."
Luke chose a spot about halfway back in the church. The sanctuary was already filling and he didn't want to be too close to the front or too close to the back. Colt smiled to himself. In the old days, Luke would have wanted to be the center of attention and would have strutted up to the front and chatted up everyone around. But these days he'd mellowed. Some of that, Colt was sure, had to do with his remarriage to Colt and Sage's mother. She had always kept him grounded and humble, which had a lot to do with why he'd divorced her when Colt and Sage were young. He hadn't liked being low key and, when his public persona started to become his private one as well, Sarah had had enough.
He knew his mother was not thrilled that Luke wanted to go to Rayna's funeral. She did get him to agree not to go to the burial, since it was so cold. Colt had been a little surprised she still had kind of an edge about her when it came to Rayna.
"What are you worried about, Mom?" he asked her. "All of that was so long ago."
She had looked at him a little sharply. "Sweetheart, everyone has that one person who's like that unattainable goal. That's who Rayna was for your father. She was someone he couldn't have, because she was in love with Deacon Claybourne, so he kind of worshipped her from afar. When he finally had his shot, it was almost inevitable that he would come crashing back to earth. I just worry about him, you know. I worry that it will bring all that back for him."
Colt frowned. "You don't think he still carries a torch for her, do you?"
She shook her head. "No, not really. But she was who he wanted for a long time. I guess, now that she's gone, there's nothing to worry about anymore. Not that I was, really, but she was kind of a shining star for him." She took Colt's hand. "Thanks for taking him. I just couldn't do it."
He smiled at her. "Sure, Mom. No problem."
Luke was settled in and Colt looked around. He'd been long gone from Nashville and didn't recognize many of the people in the church. He saw Maddie up at the front. Except for the fact that she was obviously older, she looked much the same as she had the last time he'd seen her. He looked down at his father. "Dad, I'm going to go say hello to Maddie," he said. "Do you want to come?"
Luke looked pensive for a moment and then shook his head. "Nah, son, you go on. I'll be fine here." He smiled up at his son.
Colt smiled back. "Okay. I won't be long." He walked out of the pew to the central aisle and headed for Maddie. She turned and looked at him as he approached. At first she looked confused, but then he saw recognition cross her face and she smiled.
"Colt Wheeler," she said, sounding happy to see him again. "I didn't expect to see you."
He shrugged. "I brought my dad." He nodded back towards where Luke was sitting. "But I was hoping I'd get a chance to say hello to you." He suddenly realized how unfeeling that sounded. "Oh, and pay my respects, of course. Your mom was always really nice to me."
Maddie smiled a little sadly. "Considering at the beginning she didn't really like you very much, I think she did finally come around."
He reached out and touched her arm. "I wish I'd known her better."
Maddie sighed. "I wish you had too. Thanks for coming though." She widened her eyes. "Oh, and for bringing Luke." Colt nodded and then started to turn. "Will the two of you come by the house afterwards?" Maddie said, and he turned back.
He shook his head. "I don't think so. Dad gets tired easily and going in and out of the cold is tough on him. I need to get him home after the service. We're going to have to skip the burial too."
She nodded. "Well, thanks again for coming. It means a lot."
He took a deep breath. He thought back to when they were teenagers, when they met because their parents were dating. He hadn't thought much of her at first, at least until he heard the song she posted on YouTube. As complicated as things had seemed back then, they were infinitely simpler than they were today. "It was really good to see you," he said. "I wish we hadn't lost touch."
She looked at him for a moment. Her eyes were sad as she smiled a little. "Everything turns out the way it's supposed to," she said, finally. She reached for his hand. "All my memories are good ones."
He smiled. "Mine too." He watched as she took her hand away and, with one last smile, she walked away from him.
After the service, Luke was quiet in the car, much as he had been on the ride over. Colt kept thinking back to seeing Maddie. He hadn't thought about her in years. They'd both obviously moved on long ago. He was a little surprised at how awkward it had felt to see her, to talk to her. It was almost as though he'd never known her. They had drifted apart, both their lives turned upside down. In the aftermath of Jeff Fordham's death and the initial cover-up of Juliette's involvement, he'd felt disconnected from nearly everything and everybody. His relationships suffered, most notably his relationship with Maddie. But she was going through her own turmoil, which had led to her emancipation. In the midst of all that, she broke up with him and they never reconnected.
Surprisingly, though, he still saw her as that young, fresh-faced girl he'd first met. Back when she was wide-eyed with curiosity and charmingly naïve about almost everything. It didn't matter how many years had passed, in his mind she hadn't changed. Even though he was happy with his life, and he hoped she was with hers, seeing her again had made him wonder what if, for just a moment.
Just then he heard his father sniff and he turned to check on him, worried that the cold had gotten to him anyway. He was surprised to see tears on his father's cheeks. "Dad?" he said. Luke looked down at his lap. "Are you okay?"
Luke sighed deeply and worked his lip for a moment. He looked up and over at Colt briefly and then out the front window. "Son, I really messed things up with your mom, back when you and Sage were kids," he said, his voice quiet. "I wanted so badly to be a star, to make up for everything I never had growing up. I thought being a cowboy would be my ticket, and it was, but I got so caught up in it that I lost my sense of me. I forgot my history, with the family I grew up with and the family I made with your mom and you kids. The fame was more important, being on stage, the fans, the platinum albums and the awards. The money. And I lost everything that mattered back then."
Colt frowned. "But you got it all back, Dad."
Luke nodded. "Yeah, I did. But I never shoulda given it up to start with." He looked at Colt then. "I really thought, back then, that Rayna was who I wanted. It was sweet and real and I remember thinking that it felt like I was living a dream. But we were both looking for something we couldn't have with each other. We kinda hid behind Ruke or Layna or whatever we were and just denied our hearts." He sighed. "It hurt like hell when it was over, but we both got to get back to what was really important. What really mattered." He looked at Colt again.
Colt nodded. "I think that was her real legacy, you know? Not being afraid to go for what you really want." He gave his father a tiny smile.
Luke smiled back. "I think you just nailed it, buddy."
