Chapter 31


"So now you have me alone," Beverly said quietly once they were inside the small conference room.

Jean-Luc paced back and forth, keeping his distance from her. Her eyes followed him with some trepidation. Then he stopped abruptly. "Yes...just as you had me alone, not too long ago," he said.

It was true. Did he feel she had taken advantage of him down on the Malkatan base? "Are you angry with me, Jean-Luc?"

"It's not so simple. I am confused...just months ago before leaving Earth, I called you and you told me weren't even sure you wanted to have lunch with me upon my return from the mission."

Beverly was somewhat surprised to hear him say this. She remembered having that conversation with him years ago. But for him it was much more recent a memory.

"And then down on that base I had these fantasies constantly...about you."

She blushed and looked away from him, as he continued.

"I almost believed those visions to be real until you came to me that day. You said things to me I never dreamt you would. You made promises about how we would be together. Was it real, Beverly? Please say that it was real."

Beverly tried to swallow away the lump in her throat. "Yes, Jean-Luc, it was real."

"But…how am I supposed to reconcile all of that...everything, with the fact that you and I have been so estranged following Jacks death?"

"I can explain," she said. "Not all of it will make sense, but I'm going to try."

Picard watched Beverly as she stared at him and pulled her coat tighter around her as though she were cold. But it was hotter than blazes in that room. He stepped toward her, feeling drawn by the power of just being near to her again. But Beverly moved to stand so that she was shielded by a chair near the conference table. He was unable to hide the quick expression of hurt and confusion that crossed his features.

"Beverly, I would never hurt you," he said, studying her face from across the room.

"Of course not. I know that," she said softly, tracing her hand across the top of the chair.

"Well…you needn't hide from me then," he insisted.

"I'm not hiding," she said. "Jean-Luc… a lot has changed between us in the twelve years between now and the future where I just came from." She paused as he watched her expectantly.

"We're friends now in the future...great friends," she assured him.

He smiled, very happy to hear it. He nodded. "Good...I'm glad." His smile faltered a little and he took a step toward her. "Where are we in the future? What are we doing?"

"We're serving together on board the flagship of the fleet. You are Captain of the Enterprise."

His smile returned. The Enterprise...James Kirk's famed ship.

"How is Wesley? Is he at the Academy?"

Beverly laughed and felt tears come to her eyes. "He's wonderful…yes he entered the Academy," she said. Picard broke into a wide smile.

"Jack would be so proud," he said, and then looked immediately apologetic.

"It's okay," she reassured him. "You can say Jack's name. You're right…he would be proud."

She couldn't bear to tell him that Wesley was at the Academy mainly because the Enterprise too had been lost, and he really hadn't known what else to do.

"And the Stargazer?"

"I'm sorry, Jean-Luc but the Stargazer was lost. It was during what is now known as the Battle of Maxia...in our timeline just before now, you destroyed Brom's ship."

He leaned on the table, trying to take it all in. His ship had been lost. He was always complaining that his ship was falling apart, and he had always sort of expected it to sputter out of energy, instead of being lost in battle. "What about my crew?" he asked distantly.

"Most of your crew escaped. There was a fire in engineering, which you were able to extinguish in order to prevent the ship from complete destruction...but there were lives lost. I'm sorry," she said again.

He sat down heavily, weighed down by the guilt of something that had never even happened to him. And yet, what had happened was even worse. The horrible reality of the Malkatans crept back into his brain. He had his damn ship, but his crew was dead. He realized he wasn't ready to tell Beverly. Would she be ashamed of him? That he had been unable to prevent what happened to the crew?

"Well, all of this explains Bok's vendetta against me," he said. "And he arranged for the Malkatans to capture us…." He nodded slowly coming to understand. Of course, General Unh had told him as much down on that planet. He smiled grimly and then stood up, looking at her from across the table. "At least in the future you and I will have a chance to serve together," he said with more strength.

She smiled at him sadly. "At least...we were serving together until things went so wrong." She tried her best to explain the rest as calmly as possible. Meanwhile all she could think of was the fact that she would not be able to hide her pregnancy from him, and she couldn't believe that she had ever considered it.

"So why did you come back? And what are you keeping from me?" He circled, coming closer to her. With each step she seemed to withdraw from him.

"I told you, Jean-Luc. I returned because I knew that Bok was going to try to murder you."

"So were you trying to save me, or the Picard of the future?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

"Well, Jean-Luc, of course I was trying to save you both. I believed that if I saved you, the future version of you would also survive. To me you're both the same person."

"But you have to leave me again and travel into the future to make sure that you've succeeded. Well what if I don't want you to leave me again?"

"Jean-Luc…."

Some painful emotion made his chest grow tight as he walked toward her. "We're friends in the future you've said. But here? What are we, Beverly?" She didn't answer so he walked closer until they were within arms-length. "You told me that what happened between us was real. So why don't you trust me?" He reached out to touch her cheek.

Her face flushed again as she regarded him silently. She caught his hand against her face and held it. "It's not that simple, Jean-Luc. I don't want to hurt you."

He shook his head and moved closer. "You couldn't do that." He leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away. Without breaking eye contact she took his hand from her cheek and brought it down to her belly. His eyes dropped down and then back up into her eyes with sudden unease.

"What…"

She nodded. "Yes. Now do you see why I have been hiding behind chairs and tables?" she asked him softly.

"But, how…." He was completely mystified, but to her surprise hadn't removed his hand from her stomach. He looked back down. "We were only together that one-"

"It was more than once," she corrected him gently. "And it doesn't always take much. Trust me…I'm a doctor," she added with a small smile.

He looked at her with a completely serious expression. "Has the time-shifting accelerated it—the baby's growth?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He moved his hand over her stomach and then put his head against the side of her neck. "You can't leave. Not now that I know."

She pulled back slightly to look at him, and gently smoothed his hair. "Jean-Luc, I feel the same way about leaving you, but…I don't belong here. There's another version of me on Earth right now."

"That version of you who hates me?"

She shut her eyes. "I never hated you. And I'm starting to think that there was never a time when I didn't love you."