『 A Poem Of Despair 』
The wheels of time continue on revolving, knowing of no beginning and no end. Turning in tempestuous motion to most, and in a tranquil manner to a few. None can predict how these wheels would turn. It only follows the command of its majesty wheels, 'The Wheels Of Fate'.
Fate gives commands to time creating a lifeline— a timeline. Fate is both a Tyrant and a Valiant, as Time remains its servant. Fate is cruel, ruthless, wonderful, merciful and mysterious. There are countless of angles to view 'Fate', and each eye has its own theory. Fate is somewhat similar to Death, in a mind free of ties, Death is neither good or evil, it is nothing but inevitable. So is Fate's commandments are inevitable.
'How much time has passed? How many years? I have grown to the beautiful bride you dreamed of but you aren't here to see. I have waited. . . And waited. . . And waited. . . For you to return. . . My eyes never parted from the skies. . . In hopes of you descending from the Heavens. . . I wait clinging to all the remaining hope in my heart. . . So you'd come to me. . . I can only dream of your smiling face. . . Wish for your hand to arrange my hair. . . Mother. . . I. . .'
A heart that was once so full of life and joy is now occupied by void, only to be filled with sorrow and regret. A mind that speaks silently of its undisclosed desires. Orbitals that reflected not the colour hazel alone, but brilliant shades of sadness, settled on the cloudless sky. Gazing patiently for something that is unlikely to come, like waiting for the snow to fall during the warm season of Summer.
The light of the sun was almost blinding, always captivating the senses. A superior mind might believe that the piercing brilliance is only shot to all sights to obstruct something dear to this burning star.
Her bottom lash-line greeted her top, hazel spheres were concealed beneath their sockets well. Once her vision turned black, a film reel of memories adorned the void. Ever since that day, she was always accompanied with misery, from a tragedy to another. However, the greatest tragedy she has known is the blazing flames the devoured her home. Everything has turned to ashes, the Japanese Dolls, her Father's precious antiques, her Mother's beautiful Kimonos made of silk, all their memories and happiness went away along with the traveling ashes.
After the demise of Oichi's husband, the woman who once battled along with the famous Jubei stood at the balcony during the night. All is gone, nothing is left. Her children were stripped from their childhood, they sipped from the bitter liquor of war.
What is there to live for? Death would be sweeter than to be wed to the man who is a sworn enemy. But what about the little ones she has brought to this soil? What will be their fate? At that very moment, the only person she was thinking of is Jubei. A smile came across her lips, remembering that night before each took their separate paths, the night where they both shared their first and final kiss. It was truly genuine. No word could escape their vocals so they chose to be silent. And this silence was worth more than a thousand words.
"Do you remember. . . Jubei? I was waiting at a balcony like this all by myself. . . Upset that I couldn't find my precious hairpin. . . You found and gave it to me. . . I. . . Jubei. . . Do you still remember me like I remember you? Can you hear me as I think of you?"
Her fingers embraced the balcony's rails tightly, gazing at the night's sky for the final time then at the ground that laid many meters away from her. The same shattered smile stayed plastered on her lips.
"I want to see you again. . . Once more. . . Only one more time. . . ."
She whispered her last words under great pressure, little did she know that she is being watched. Small fingers crept through a narrow open space of the sliding door, one eye peeking. It was her second daughter observing. The thought of having her mother fall to her death never came across her mind.
Her body met the soil as a loud thud disturbed the unsettling silence. Those little fingers slammed the door open as her limbs motioned rapidly forth to catch her, but she has already fallen. In spite of all that, she reached her hands to the open space, in hopes of restoring what is lost. It is only then she has realized that all effort is futile. Her legs began shaking, her hands settled on her head, her fingers digging through her hair. She kept shaking her head in denial of what had occurred. Her eyes were never this wide. And a scream of agony was never heard so loud. This scream attracted her eldest sister. Panicked, she ran to the balcony and rushed to her sibling's side, with a concerned look dominating her features.
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
"Mom is. . . Mom is. . ." She muttered still whimpering. Without the need to hear her whole statement, Cha-Cha placed both her hands on the balcony's rail to peek down. Her silver hues caught witnessed a fallen woman who resembled a person she knows too well. Her fingers began trembling at the horrid sight.
Ohatsu trapped her eldest sister in her arms tightly, thinking as though she would follow the same course of action. The middle sister rubbed her face against her sister's back as her fingers dug Cha-Cha's kimono.
"No. . . Don't leave me. . . Please Cha-Cha. . . Don't jump. . . I. . . I need you." Words accompanied with sincerity escaped her vocals. The eldest turned her head to catch glimpse of the younger one, she turned around and pulled Ohatsu in an embrace. Her hand brushing through her brown hair, comforting her.
"I'm not going anywhere. . . I won't jump. Everything will be fine. So don't cry. Everything. . . Will be. . . Fine."
The whole time she kept reassuring the younger two that all will go well, and this pain is only a part of life itself. What is there to lose next? Now she is not sure herself.
'You have left heavy burden on my shoulders. . .'
Building their lives from scratch alone is no longer an option, the three maidens were forced to move into the Toyotomi Clan. Worse of all news was that the eldest one of them was compelled to be wed with the man who burnt her home, killed her father, delivered them misery.
She was sitting on her shin, her thigh kissing her calf. Dressed in the fanciest kimono rich in red, her ebony tresses were adorned with hairpins made of pure gold, not a single hair was misarranged. She is offered to live the life of a Queen. However, none of these privileges filled her eyes.
Solitude forsaken her the moment the sliding door gently opened. The orbitals which reflected the mixture of silver hues and pain gazed upon the visitor. It was Ohatsu. The other lady sat across her sister, holding her hand.
"Cha-Cha. . . Oeyo left. . . Cha-Cha. . . I. . . I'm. . ."
Although their hands were joined, neither of them could have their eyes meet. Acknowledging that her younger sibling is at loss of words, her lips curved upwards slightly, displaying a faint smile. Her eyes were still filled with nothing but the void itself.
"Ohatsu. . . Everything will be fine. . . Just. . . Don't—"
The most responsible of all was soon silenced by the other.
"No. . . How can you keep saying that? Nothing will be fine. . . Mom. . . Mom is gone. . . Everyone is gone. . . Everything is destroyed. . . How can you be so calm? She'll never return. . . We can never go back. . . We'll merely have fates decided by those who stripped us from the little joy we had in this miserable life! . . . Tell me. . . Cha-Cha. . . How is it. . . ? How will anything be fine. . . ? Cha-Cha!"
Great pressure was placed on the hand that she now holds, her eyes gathered all the tears she hasn't shed for the whole day. Only a single droplet dared to escape.
"Everything. . . Will be. . . Fine. . ."
She spoke again as though this was the only line she has learned. Her thumb trembled slightly. Traumatized would be a fitting description, traumatized of being the only one responsible to the remaining of her crumbling family, traumatized of having to be wed with the man she loathes, traumatized of being alone in this.
'I know. . . That I can't be saved. . . Nothing can save me. . . No one can save me. . . Even if they wanted to. . . I can't be saved.'
After hearing the same response as always, Ohatsu released her hand and quietly left the room.
'It has been so long. . . I wonder how many days have passed. . . ? Why. . . Why did you leave?'
After the recollection of the past's unpleasant memories, she has concluded with the memory of the man she longs for, the one who left the clan without saying a single word. Her lids parted to gaze upon the sky, the sun was still hung their along with a distant Omen.
"I wonder what Fate has planned. . . Will we ever be free?"
At the same city yet in a different time, we travel back to the past to digest the unspoken events of each individual tale.
The clock has ticked to this specific hour, for this specific judgement to take place. The gloom bride, a maiden with a ripe body is chosen to be the next Concubine for the tyrant Hideyoshi. She looked like a deep crimson canary with torn wings, a featherless bird, consumed by the void. After the marriage was arranged, Japan's new ruler walked to his bride-to-be room. The dresser's index and thumb supported the brushes' handle, brushing its vermilion soaked bristles against her delicate lips.
"Are you not excited to be my wife, Yodo? You shall be treated like a Goddess as long as you remain with me."
Silver coloured irises narrowed to his almost disappearing eyes, she gave no heed to any word he uttered at all, except for the name he addressed her with.
"Yodo. . .?" Her perfectly lined eyebrow arched upwards displaying slight perplexity.
"You will no longer be called 'Cha-Cha'. As of now, your name is Yodo. I bestow on you the Yodo Castle."
"Oh. . . How very kind of you Milord." Words were nothing near genuine, dry and void. Not only was she robbed from all the joys of being alive but also not allowed to use the name her Mother gave her.
"I am looking forward for tonight, are you not?"
"So am I. . ."
With that, the short man left the room after making its atmosphere sickening by his presence alone. Yodo— who is formerly known as 'Cha-Cha' a minute ago pulled her face away from the dresser. A smile spread across her lips widely, a devastated laugh escaped her vocals, shocking the servant.
"Lady Yodo?"
After several seconds of laughter, her gaze settled upon the ceiling, gazing intensely with blank eyes.
"When will I ever be free?"
•●○•°•●○•°•●○•°•●○•
In what motion will the wheels of Time revolve? What will be the commandments of Fate? How much further will the tyranny stay?
